Trump Auditions Potential VPs, Can’t Pay His $464 Million Bond & a Visit from Crab Jesus!
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Күн бұрынThe NCAA Tournament is underway and Gonzaga played their first game, the Dodgers fired Ohtani’s translator yesterday for allegedly stealing Ohtani’s money to cover gambling debts, a royal update on Kate Middleton, Donald Trump is having a tough time coming up with his $464 million bond, he is now considering 15 candidates for his running mate including Florida Senator Marco Rubio, there are a bunch of crazy A.I. photos of Jesus on Facebook, and we get a visit from Crab Jesus!
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Jimmy Kimmel serves as host and executive producer of Emmy®-nominated “Jimmy Kimmel Live!,” ABC’s late-night talk show. “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” is well known for its huge viral video successes, with over 15 billion views and more than 18 million subscribers on the show’s KZfaq channel. Some of Kimmel’s most popular comedy bits include “Celebrities Read Mean Tweets,” “Lie Witness News,” “Unnecessary Censorship,” “Halloween Candy KZfaq Challenge,” and music videos like “I (Wanna) Channing All Over Your Tatum.”
@MikeCee7 3 ай бұрын
From 6:09 to 7:39, the Marco Rubio versus Donald Trump, was the funniest 90 seconds I’ve seen on TV and a long time. Whoever was in charge of composing this segment, give that person a raise!
@J.M.-nb4gw 3 ай бұрын
I hope the Democrats use that segment in their campaign ads 😂
@unbotheredmovement 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for the timestamp! Hilarious! 🤣
@nogames284 3 ай бұрын
i didn't know rubio had lines like that, good editing indeed
@marshwetland3808 3 ай бұрын
@@nogames284 Never seen him before, but he was impressive.
@fullchicken4492 3 ай бұрын
Jimmy Kimmel has been on fire the past month
@b-meaker99 3 ай бұрын
The crab jesus bit went totally sideways, but that lady freaking out about the fish saved it all 😅😂😂
@elvinn9434 3 ай бұрын
So true 😂😂😂😂
@michelebenedosso3899 3 ай бұрын
I think She was phobic of fish… I picked her fear out immediately since I’m phobic too. Funny but, but probably not for her. 😱
@evilscorpio1981 3 ай бұрын
She was annoying and over doing it like why act like that over a dang fish
@hurdygurdyguy1 3 ай бұрын
She's saying to her friends, "the one time I get to Kimmel's show AND score a front row seat! What are the odds??!!"
@sim_city 3 ай бұрын
@evilscorpio1981 Yeah, but to be fair, she has fish slime and blood on her shirt in a studio audience now. That's sucks. I'm a fisherman, and I feel for her.
@vedacarmony5754 3 ай бұрын
“I grabbed him by the assets. When you’re an AG, they let you do it.” - Leticia James, AG
@2011DigitalMedia 3 ай бұрын
😂
@Oub2000 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂
@Oub2000 3 ай бұрын
Fortunately and unfortunately
@chiguireespacialespecial 3 ай бұрын
Doctros stop humoing camels, wait Seth and Crew
@BaconTomatoCheese 3 ай бұрын
“ If he asks you to run - RUN” 😆😂🤪
@LyonsM 3 ай бұрын
“RUN”, hilarious!!
@aaronclay79 3 ай бұрын
🤣 I did not know Marko Rubio got in on Trump like that, that montage was AWESOME🤣🤣🤣🤣
@davidobriend8560 3 ай бұрын
8 years ago. After Trump won the primary, Marco never criticized him again
@damienjeremyweir4543 3 ай бұрын
😂
@darrelllowe2619 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂😂
@chocolab3014 3 ай бұрын
I didn't either!!!!😂😂😂😂
@lindakautzman7388 3 ай бұрын
Marco talked like that before Trump was elected when he was running for president too.
@mayberelevant3237 3 ай бұрын
“If at first you don’t secede … try , try again” has to be one of the most succinct jokes ever !!
@user-sf3yr4wq4t 3 ай бұрын
That old B! She's so old South.
@oftenwrongphong 3 ай бұрын
Thanks for this. I heard "succeed" so thought it was a bad attempt by Kimmel.
@ME-zp9co 3 ай бұрын
You should invest in an English dictionary
@Midbro100 3 ай бұрын
He stole it from Trump. He said it to Hillary.
@patrickmichael5719 3 ай бұрын
That crab jesus bit was insane, that lady freaking out about the fish was hilarious
@Arkangel.98 12 күн бұрын
God will not be mocked, there is more then one war going on, crime is in the rise more then ever, weather conditions in LA and in unusual places, volcanos, the ephrates river is dried up, these are the signs of Jesus is coming, please reach out to him, he is using me to tell out to you God bless Jesus loves you
@philiphurban9498 3 ай бұрын
How do you bankrupt a casino? We’d all love to know the answer to that
@nelsonhunter-valls3206 3 ай бұрын
When you're an Attorney General, they let you do anything; you can Grab 'em by the property! 😂
@drumbird 3 ай бұрын
That was the most chaotic ending to a late night monologue that I've ever seen. 😵
@ricobhi 3 ай бұрын
This was pretty epically hilarious, but you really need to dig out some old David Letterman episodes
@drumbird 3 ай бұрын
@@ricobhi Got some recommendations?
@sadhumannell2769 3 ай бұрын
Really bad fish skit!!!
@rennstreetpodcast 3 ай бұрын
That came off the rails like a Trump speech. But damn it was so hilarious!!
@Erika1965 3 ай бұрын
Loved it!
@samsepiol05590 3 ай бұрын
Jimmy Kimmel is a national treasure! Gutfeld studies him nightly lol
@scotmandel6699 3 ай бұрын
If garbage was a national treasure. TRUMP 2024
@1cremate 3 ай бұрын
Once again, Jimmy knocked it out of the park🎉🎉🎉
@scottstl6776 3 ай бұрын
If he asks you to run... RUN! LOL
@cherylhill9350 3 ай бұрын
Run far, run FAST!!!😮
@Columbiastargazer 3 ай бұрын
A genius doesn’t call himself smart… a billionaire doesn’t call himself rich… but a dictator calls himself trump
@charlesfenwick6554 3 ай бұрын
Would be dictator who must be stopped
@williamteuthorn7413 3 ай бұрын
Someone has a troll.
@jakemoeller7850 3 ай бұрын
@@Andr50n• Get a life!
@douglaswild3852 3 ай бұрын
Well said!! 👍🏼
@tuyenle8107 3 ай бұрын
trump 4ever 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@richardluce775 3 ай бұрын
He was a “Security Risk” before his legal and money troubles.
@bewiseopeneyes8720 3 ай бұрын
Sure sure. Tell me you have no brain without telling me 😂
@samfedor2194 3 ай бұрын
The KGB set their sights on him in the 70s when wife #1 came into the picture. They deemed him easily manipulated... extremely vulnerable intellectually & psychologically.
@scotmandel6699 3 ай бұрын
@@samfedor2194 you have any actual proof comrade biden apologist?
@taunicheree 3 ай бұрын
The Rubio/Trump montage gave me a much-needed laugh. Thank you!
@user-oe5jw4iq5v 20 күн бұрын
crab jesus was too much i will never watch you again
@marcusymarcos8750 3 ай бұрын
“For the same reason you wouldn’t loan a watermelon to a hippopotamus” 😂 Bravo! 👏🏽
@waryaawariiri1812 3 ай бұрын
I immediately had these visions of hippopotamus crushing watermelons as seen on YT Short clips.
@Yepthatswhattheysaid 3 ай бұрын
Yep that’s what he said
@donnewton7858 3 ай бұрын
I can tell you how to bankrupt a casino: 1. Build a casino with borrowed money. 2. Refuse to pay any of the builders or sub-contractors, because you're a deadbeat. 3. Get sued by everyone. 4. File bankruptcy to avoid having to pay what you owe.
@annakingry9157 3 ай бұрын
And Trump money making strategy--take money out of 1st casino to build second, take money from that one to build third, etc. Finally, lose all because you can't run a business of any kind, soaking your investors and moving onto the next get rich quick scheme.
@reneewatson9861 3 ай бұрын
Trump Still have to Pay the Bank back If he fouls bankruptcy
@reneewatson9861 3 ай бұрын
🎉
@GratifyMeNow13 3 ай бұрын
That’s after you’ve wasted $400 million of your dad’s money through it trying to keep it afloat then switched to laundering money selling condos to Russian gangsters.
@piamorrow6955 3 ай бұрын
Having 3 casinos competing with each other.
@Mike-again 3 ай бұрын
I love these people that showed up for a Jimmy Kimmel Show and didn’t realize they’d signed up for a Gallagher Special.
@SteveFanning-xq9ji 3 ай бұрын
BassOmatic- clean up in rows 1 thru 10
@ianhowarth2656 3 ай бұрын
Gallagher. Now there’s a name I haven’t heard in more than a dog’s age. Where is he now. Lifting weights with Carrot Top?
@Robert-ts5ze 3 ай бұрын
I hope that when AG James repos Bedminster that all of the classified documents come along with it .
@bobwilliamson9562 3 ай бұрын
The people of earth want trump to leave.
@danielmorales1470 3 ай бұрын
We👉👽👽👽don't want him either!
@chrisrj9871 3 ай бұрын
@@danielmorales1470- nobody says he has to occupy a planet.... or a space-suit.
@danielmorales1470 3 ай бұрын
@@chrisrj9871 OK, it's a deal👹
@matthewcalifana488 3 ай бұрын
Fly him to moon and get him there before it,s June , Fly him 2 the stars or maybe Mercury or Mars another words , Hide his face .
@colmanpm 3 ай бұрын
What have aliens ever really done to us?
@SocialMediaDale 3 ай бұрын
I’m English and live in the UK. I don’t think most of the population is bothered where Kate is. It’s our press making a big issue about it.
@williampowell15 3 ай бұрын
It's not being discussed in the press or TV but everyone is talking about it. Something is definitely going on we are being kept in the dark.
@mechez774 3 ай бұрын
Definitely seems like a 'wag the dog' scenario
@billienova 3 ай бұрын
Yes she needs privacy . As we all do . The press needs to stop 🛑
@alisonmcnamara800 3 ай бұрын
Well I hope she is well!
@ighdesigns 3 ай бұрын
Yeah, because nothing else is happening in the world.
@myrahunter131 3 ай бұрын
I hope no fish were harmed in the making of this sorry skit.
@YourHeartsDesires 2 ай бұрын
I'm sure they were ok, lol. Bet they never thought they would end up on Kimmel!😂
@jessecortez6602 3 ай бұрын
Thanks Jimmy one of the funniest shows I’ve seen! 😂😂😂
@xosweetiexpieox5 3 ай бұрын
I want more of the lady freaking over the fish in the audience. That was the best part 😂😂
@darkpepsi 3 ай бұрын
The best part lmao
@Citlalic18 3 ай бұрын
Lol! Yess!!!!
@bolasblancas420 3 ай бұрын
Best part.
@UkeCan1 3 ай бұрын
The next Guillermo!
@MayTheSchwartzBeWithYou 3 ай бұрын
Live TV at its best. Honestly funnier than 90% of their scripted bits. She took what would've been a mid-tier bit and made it iconic. 😂
@janetarqui.momtraveler1273 3 ай бұрын
How do you bankrupt a casino. Still cracks me up😅😅😅
@sassafrasdinglemeyer4513 3 ай бұрын
How you bankrupt a casino is by building three of them right next door to each other OMG so stupid!
@mysticcove3392 3 ай бұрын
@@sassafrasdinglemeyer4513 🤔 Reno NV "The Row". Silver Legacy (30 years old) is in the middle. Circus Circus (46 years old) on the left Eldorado (51 years old) on the right. 3 Hotel Casinos connected to each other (indoor no need to go outside). They're doing fine.
@crashburn3292 3 ай бұрын
How Trump bankrupted the Taj Mahal is worth reading about. It was a masterclass in business buffoonery.
@reneewatson9861 3 ай бұрын
😮mmm
@scotmandel6699 3 ай бұрын
@@sassafrasdinglemeyer4513 don't know, don't care but he will be our next President. Deal with it. TRUMP 2024
@gangsterhet 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂That fish part... I was hooked
@TheSanDiegan 3 ай бұрын
How do you not work “Christacean” into the bit?
@brianchase9251 3 ай бұрын
The GOP has dug itself into such a deep hole over the last 7-8 years and they just keep digging. My former party is unsavable at this point, and it will take at least a generation to overcome. Quite possibly two generations.
@jonncockrell3606 3 ай бұрын
They started digging when Reagan became President. Bush ran the country while Reagan read the script in front of the camera. Since then the digging got progressively intense and crazed. Using Supreme Court to steal election in 2000, invading Iraq for weapons of mass destruction that didn't exist, refusing to pay for the War and borrowing Trillions while accusing Democrats of tax and spend, tax cuts for billionaires and cuts in services to everyone else, running economy into the ground and bailing out the corporations, banks,etc while leaving everyone else naked,etc. Trump is just the latest version of the Big Lie Republicans have been selling since 1980.
@davidc2838 3 ай бұрын
Unless Crab Jesus can save them! They need a few catfishes.
@jeskoog 3 ай бұрын
And they should make restitution
@Thomas-fj8ol 3 ай бұрын
gop/government of putin@@chrislambert5571
@RockSoup 3 ай бұрын
And it was all 100% self inflicted.
@babybijou969 3 ай бұрын
Trump the BINO: Billionaire In Name Only 🤑🍿
@threeravens1788 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@MDone402 3 ай бұрын
WHINO BINO TRUMP 😂😂
@Darbobski 3 ай бұрын
@@MDone402 WHINO BINO VOTE-NO TRUMP.
@pirrepe 3 ай бұрын
🤣
@cynthiagutierrez9103 3 ай бұрын
😂🤣😂🤣
@WaywardVet 3 ай бұрын
Crab Jesus is awesome. Get that man some loaves!
@WaywardVet 3 ай бұрын
Jimmy did offer to have the head removed. Crab Jesus looked ready and willing to provide that miracle. I'm a combat veteran. A foxhole atheist. I trust in Crab Jesus because that motherf'er delivers.
@kathyeyesopen4078 3 ай бұрын
OMG I LOVE the crab Jesus bit😂😂😂😂😂😂
@justinesimone5343 3 ай бұрын
I thought of seizing his plane to keep him from flying off to Russia.
@stuartb3609 3 ай бұрын
They have a habit of falling out of the sky once in Russian airspace for some reason.
@Ockv74 3 ай бұрын
Please let him go to Russia, anyway we can end this MAGA nightmare is fine!!! 💙 💙 💙
@jaredchilders3781 3 ай бұрын
No, keep him from having cult worship rallies.
@CaptainBollocks.... 3 ай бұрын
@@stuartb3609Similar to Boeing since trump and republicans went deregulation nuts. I wonder who makes trump's plane?
@AcademyNS 3 ай бұрын
Oh, going to Russia is the perfect ending. "Oh, Donald. You disappoint me. All I asked was that you unfreeze my assets and undermine NATO..."
@StarChasershere 3 ай бұрын
*tRUMP- "I just want to find $464 million, which is more than I have"*
@Damremont18 3 ай бұрын
Always looking for something: money, votes, porn stars, sympathy, someone to blame, VPs…
@UkeCan1 3 ай бұрын
"I just want you to do me a favor though"
@Oneshot8242 3 ай бұрын
If it's Russia, that would be MORE FAVORS!
@dozzer009 3 ай бұрын
@@Oneshot8242 I’d be curious if be so stupid? Of course he would…what am I thinking 🤦🏻♀️ Laws don’t apply to him in his universe.
@joachimschoder 3 ай бұрын
"... which is $465 million than I have".
@wade7959 3 ай бұрын
The show legit lost control with the fish. 😂🤣💀 That lady was hilarious.
@JohnEmmanuel-hf3wd 3 ай бұрын
The Jesus & fish at the end of the monologue 100% Classic. Thumbs-up guys
@therealhiesenberg2731 3 ай бұрын
Just imagine eric standing next to donald when his plane gets repo'd. I can see him yelling "De plane boss! De plane!"
@marjoriegarland2798 3 ай бұрын
😂😂
@Mostlydarkmagic 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@paulmiller6245 3 ай бұрын
Thanx
@victoriazwick1082 Ай бұрын
Thanks for the laugh!!
@terryreynolds200 3 ай бұрын
Imagine running for president as a legal strategy to keep yourself out of prison.
@joogie1849 3 ай бұрын
That's all he's doing for. It's not qualified 😕
@blainewalker2147 3 ай бұрын
Sounds like a movie script if you ask me
@doug8321 3 ай бұрын
unfortunately we no longer need to just imagine it we are witnessing it in real time.
@donna8243 3 ай бұрын
What's to imagine? It's happening now.
@schoolbus071 3 ай бұрын
This is what our country has become 😡😡
@fdrstan 3 ай бұрын
Jimmy Kimmel has become the best late night show host in America over the past few years. He's always been good, but he is now at the top of the mountain.
@leogama3422 3 ай бұрын
still love Colbert
@richardwarnock2789 3 ай бұрын
Vice Prez Soilent Marggerbel Green !!!😅😂
@ray24051 3 ай бұрын
The audience thought the guy was going to pull out rubber fish and he was throwing actual real dead fish.😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@Fanney47 3 ай бұрын
Didn't see that one comin. Lol
@exDivinityFPS 3 ай бұрын
NGL I loved the squeals of terror.
@michelebenedosso3899 3 ай бұрын
@@exDivinityFPS Those screams of terror were real for the blonde trembling lady in the front row. It looked like she was phobic (I’m phobic myself, so I can spot it a mile away.) I think those fish were alive & squirming… 😩
@SusanKay- 3 ай бұрын
They were alive , and healthy! That guy behind her was planning a fish fry!
@Dan-Simms 3 ай бұрын
They were not alive lol that poor lady though, that was funny, she was terrified.
@Shea2432 3 ай бұрын
Trump 2024 FOREVER in PRISON!!
@RedPolitics1776 3 ай бұрын
Spoiler third party candidates will swing the election towards Trump just like in 2016.
@denisjeux1020 3 ай бұрын
Yes 100% you have our support from Melbourne Australia
@denisjeux1020 3 ай бұрын
@@TerryLH thanks muppet
@franklaferriere5754 3 ай бұрын
@@TerryLH Like Trump needing help walking down a ramp, or trailing toilet paper from left shoe going up one. Or two hands to drink a glass of water. Or? Gets attacked by a bald eagle during a photo op.
@stephenbingham5935 3 ай бұрын
@@TerryLH Isn't it past your jail time ?
@texasrefugee7888 3 ай бұрын
Youre the best Jimmy ❤❤love Guillermos 😂
@EJWash57 3 ай бұрын
Why pass out fish? Just for the halibut...
@Beth-zg6gb 3 ай бұрын
I agree, leave Princess Kate in peace! Who cares about all the lookie loos and paparazzi?! To heck with them!
@karmaalstad5588 3 ай бұрын
She just had abdominal surgery, that takes time to heal depending what was done. Damn, if Princess Kate can dress up, from the hips up and Zoom her meetings....let her.
@n.a.lockhart 3 ай бұрын
I agree. I have had abdominal surgery and the last thing I wanted to do was get dressed up and go out in public.
@veryberry39 3 ай бұрын
@@karmaalstad5588I'm surprised she was given the luxury, though. Do you remember how she had to come out for photo ops like right after popping out babies? I've never given birth and even I know how excruciating that had to have been for her!
@mandyinseattle 3 ай бұрын
I'm so tired of all the coverage of that picture. So she altered it or edited it. Who gives a s*** and it's nobody's business. People are falling apart over at calling it a scandal.
@n.a.lockhart 3 ай бұрын
@@mandyinseattleRight !! It’s so ridiculous !!
@LoveDiveChannel 3 ай бұрын
Just throw Trump into a prison ASAP 😡😡😡
@craigmildenberger5918 3 ай бұрын
There taking to damn long hurry up already damn
@JasonHammond93 3 ай бұрын
@@craigmildenberger5918everyone has rights when crimiminally charged. You would exercise those rights if you were charged too
@ivangrotrian1798 3 ай бұрын
so confused from Canada we see invasion and most from old creepy joe and absolute chaos because of Biden and this fella says throw trump in prison for what@@JasonHammond93 dems wont debate the second you say illuminutty their safe word.
@mookins45 3 ай бұрын
@@JasonHammond93 'charged' lol trump is guilty as sin
@edgarfigueiredo579 3 ай бұрын
Someone needs to explain how it takes a lifetime to get this guy into court with all of the shady business deals. Bankruptcies, a fake university an assault on the US capitol. Amd he has not spent 1 day in jail.
@loveshine7819 3 ай бұрын
I'm surprised Jimmy didn't catch the joke: Christ-acean !! 🦀✝😂
@intimeoflilacs3528 3 ай бұрын
THE FISH 🤣 when that man holds up two of them at the end omg
@koenigxolo 3 ай бұрын
Hilarious!
@omccabe1 3 ай бұрын
The fish stuff at the end had me dying 😂😂😂
@PleaseDontEatAnimals 3 ай бұрын
Unfortunately, it was the innocent fish who were dying in real time as people laughed and screamed. Mean people suck.
@kimsland999 3 ай бұрын
@@PleaseDontEatAnimals Incorrect, the fish were already dead.
@clintmash245 3 ай бұрын
I'm honestly not sure - they looked to be flipping around. Still seems crazy that they used not-fake fish
@SugarandSarcasm 3 ай бұрын
@@clintmash245the one fish held up by an audience member looked like it was already gutted.
@SugarandSarcasm 3 ай бұрын
It was hilarious! Although I'm sure that lady will be traumatized for a little bit
@Sli8ht 3 ай бұрын
Jimmy I know you’ve been doing this show for over 20 years and probably want to retire next year - please don’t! I heard a rumor Stephen A. Smith is gunning for this ABC time slot. Don’t do it to us my man.
@Nan-59 3 ай бұрын
I don’t want him to give it up either!! Who is Stephen A Smith?
@TheRealcdawg22 3 ай бұрын
@@Nan-59 If you don't know, you should be happy.
@promeitheus 3 ай бұрын
@@Nan-59he’s an angry sports guy
@mayanaztec6440 3 ай бұрын
I’m so with you, just started some watching Jimmy months back, and I’m loving his shows, sense of humor and personality. I hope he stays.
@cesararellanes6188 3 ай бұрын
No Way Jimmy. You have continued to grow as a proformer. You are so well dialed in, it's a joy to watch you.
@eulaneita7566 3 ай бұрын
Thank you Jimmy. I keep asking the same thing. Why can't they leave Kate alone.
@Serai3 3 ай бұрын
"I can't pay my bill" -ionaire. OMFG 🤣🤣🤣
@luciustitius 3 ай бұрын
Don't take away his plane! That rickety thing might be our best chance.
@sonsaraeronnow4404 3 ай бұрын
LMAO 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@DoraEliaCrake 3 ай бұрын
LOL… 🙏
@user-md4di6yg2p 3 ай бұрын
"If he asks you to run...run!"... gotta love it! Why anyone would want to have anything to do with that guy is beyond comprehension.
@margaretweber50 3 ай бұрын
He tried to have his last one hung😂
@markbryant8122 3 ай бұрын
I was confused. It wasn't Ben Carson that died, it was Herman Cain that died 4 years ago. 6:00
@courtney-ray 3 ай бұрын
👀…he was making a joke…
@laurendupuis8037 3 ай бұрын
The stormy joke was the best!
@peace4myheart 3 ай бұрын
I want to see Trump evicted from Mar-a-Lago. That would be so funny.
@dougofthewoodsdouglasb5505 3 ай бұрын
I want to see them chisel his name off Trump Tower too!
@5thribroarn304 3 ай бұрын
I want the $10 Million Dollar paid off Judge to meet some BIG, Bad Military Police.
@macsmith2013 3 ай бұрын
Sure, but noone wants Mar-a-lago, too encumbered by the limitations on the deed and probably up to the ears in mortgages.
@jakklump 3 ай бұрын
I'm looking forward to lara dump complaining about makeup stains on their couch.
@douglaswild3852 3 ай бұрын
Yes!!! And to lose Trump Tower too!! 🤞🏻
@tassochristopoulos2046 3 ай бұрын
The fish throwing was hilarious 🤣 😂 .... genius 🤣
@PleaseDontEatAnimals 3 ай бұрын
I don't understand why humans think being cruel to innocent animals is hilarious.
@kimsland999 3 ай бұрын
@@PleaseDontEatAnimals Because the 'fish throwing' part. That's exactly what he said! That's what made it funny, and laughing at Jesus crab.
@danamosley 3 ай бұрын
The crab Jesus was freaking hysterical!!!🤣🤣🤣💜💜💜
@madg7178 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂....great dialog Jimmy!! EMMY FOR JIMMY!!
@steveelliott628 3 ай бұрын
Crab Jesus and the fish will go down in history Mr. Kimmel. Bravo!
@alejonin 3 ай бұрын
That lady must have a fish fobia. Sue coming up?
@elephant_888 3 ай бұрын
This is one for the books!!! 😂
@douglasalder6039 3 ай бұрын
I'm not sure if that was a failed skit or a brilliant skit but I laughed
@reneebauman2994 3 ай бұрын
I didn't laugh it made me uncomfortable as a Christian and sad for having lost respect for a fantastic comedian
@jamesheuer5139 3 ай бұрын
@@reneebauman2994…hahaha!
@ShawnHartmann-ul2qk 3 ай бұрын
When Crab Jesus walks on water, is it sideways?
@deeemm979 3 ай бұрын
He scuttles to and fro turning it into wine.
@ronalddrumpf7126 3 ай бұрын
It is sideways indeed but it is also upside down because crab Jesus lives in the ocean he is actually walking on air
@jeepdude7359 3 ай бұрын
Some of the funniest parts are when it all goes horribly wrong. Jimmy is a master at adapting to the situation.
@tsubadaikhan6332 3 ай бұрын
Whatever Jesus the Republicans believe in would really want to walk backwards in Time.
@humbleevidenceaccepter7712 3 ай бұрын
Lol! You win the internet today.
@taravamos2954 3 ай бұрын
Crab Jesus is the best Jesus.
@jubjub444 3 ай бұрын
More unhinged Crab Jesus please! LOL
@nealfager8126 3 ай бұрын
Crab Jesus throwing real dead fish at the audience! WOW JUST WOW! 😂 😂😂 That was one of the craziest things I’ve ever seen on any talk show!
@dr.kraemer 3 ай бұрын
Were they dead?
@hc1314 3 ай бұрын
Audience response was hilarious😂🤣🤣
@Fanney47 3 ай бұрын
😂😂😂😂😂
@CT-vm4gf 3 ай бұрын
That crazy striped top lady freaking out about a fish, omg.
@pyriph 3 ай бұрын
They were moving when the guy was holding one.
@keithhunter3910 3 ай бұрын
Big Donnie and Little Marco, the perfect GQP dynamic duo.
@sugarcookiecube 3 ай бұрын
🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸little marco has less than zero self respect…does he not remember why tiny mush wanted to do to his previous vp???🤔🤔🤔
@radagastbrown9001 3 ай бұрын
I'm only here for the Trump jokes
@user-mn2xx5og4b 3 ай бұрын
“A watermelon to a hippopotamus!” - give that writer a raise! 😂😂😂😂😂
@DeepSeeBlue3636 3 ай бұрын
How was it now what Trump said; “You got to pay your bills! you delinquent! We won’t help you!”
@triciac1019 3 ай бұрын
So that may be how he will choose his VP, if they will pay his bond.
@user-zb9lv3gh8s 3 ай бұрын
Vice President Vladimir Putin...
@FreedomVoice365 3 ай бұрын
@@user-zb9lv3gh8s You know Putin said he doesn't want Trump, and he doesn't care who's president because it doesn't make a difference to relations. (Because of CIA positions etc., which both sides agree on)
@jam1870utube 3 ай бұрын
🤣🤣 I thank Crab Jesus for the Jimmy Kimmel Show. So Entertaining. Great sketch.
@taylorkeane2295 3 ай бұрын
Wow... Habba babba FINALLY sounded like a real lawyer!
@MissJudyLee 3 ай бұрын
“Can you imagine the sign of Donald Trump standing in line for SouthWest flight?” 😂😂😂😂😂
@agathac6187 3 ай бұрын
Ick! Imagine the stench. Travelers would have to jump out of the plane.
@belovedhearts 3 ай бұрын
"Economy" ... as a former Head of State, you'd think he'd know what the word means, but I bet my last ten bucks Trump doesn't know what the economy is, let alone "economy class"... *laughs in sigh*
@geoffstrickler 3 ай бұрын
The airlines should demand cash or debit, no credit cards from any Trump.
@seraphonica 3 ай бұрын
Trump looking for a running mate is a reminder of a job interview question you should ALWAYS ask; "What happened to the last person who had the job?"
@terryreynolds200 3 ай бұрын
Being Trumps VP could be a hang up.
@ParahSalin 3 ай бұрын
Trump: He “hung” up on me when I asked him to steal the election
@chimdi_samuel 3 ай бұрын
Sadly, in their selfishness, the applicants don't care what happened to the last guy!
@elviarodriguez3908 3 ай бұрын
Buried in legal fees in the backyard swamp owned by rump.
@NicWalker627 3 ай бұрын
if my pilots are religious, i'll wait til the next flight 😃
@carolakelleski7905 3 ай бұрын
5:10 they spend more on his lawyers in 1 day than I get in SS in 10.95 years😢😢😮😎
@walterfristoe4643 3 ай бұрын
Drumph is Schroedinger's billionaire! He's both rich and poor at the same time! 🤣
@Alex-jx5bx 3 ай бұрын
Wow!! Very impressive😜🤪👌👍
@jaweddeshmukh7729 3 ай бұрын
Fab comment sir
@JasonHammond93 3 ай бұрын
If you spent more time on creating business and compounding money instead of talking smack about our former president, you might become a billionaire too
@gyrene_asea4133 3 ай бұрын
A Schroedinger quip is always timely. :)
@MK-lh3xd 3 ай бұрын
Until you attempt to measure his wealth. Then it cillapses into one number, which is 100 million.
@n.a.lockhart 3 ай бұрын
Thank you Jimmy Kimmel for standing up for Princess Catherine.
@beasy8991 3 ай бұрын
Who knew people were so scared of fish when they're out of the water? Yes, they have faces before they're fileted 🤦🏾♂️.
@kimclarke5018 3 ай бұрын
Yay. Thank you Jimmy for bringing up the POW and the fact the world has gone crazy because she had surgery and has been recovering from that surgery. Exactly leave her alone.
@patsylvest 3 ай бұрын
Jimmy Kimmel keeps me sane.
@roxannecarpenter6668 3 ай бұрын
This is true 😂
@Random-sk6hm 3 ай бұрын
He reminds me there's normal people in the US still
@justsayen2024 3 ай бұрын
That Trump Rubio back-to-back was absolutely priceless that should be a commercial
@julioperez1850 3 ай бұрын
I was wondering where the crab Jesus bit was going, thinking in my head about how they pitched it in their meetings. Then, it seemed to me both Jimmy and Crab Jesus guy realized it was going nowhere until Crab Jesus guy went for a bag and started throwing real dead fish at the audience! I lost it with the lady freaking out!! I laughed so hard!! She even kept freaking out at the end!! I guess it went according to the morning pitch meeting😂😂😂
@paengs.delrosario7804 3 ай бұрын
"Crab Jesus" 🦀 should have walked in sideways...like a crab would. 🥰🥰🥰🤣🤣🤣
@wallochdm1 3 ай бұрын
Driving the Holy Rollers nuts with Crab Jesus. Love it.
@PleaseDontEatAnimals 3 ай бұрын
Why do you love such a display of animal cruelty?
@CT-vm4gf 3 ай бұрын
That group of old ladies did not look amused at the Jesus mocking lol.
@jean2479 3 ай бұрын
"Leave this woman alone," my words exactly! Thank you, Jimmy! ❤
@medavog 3 ай бұрын
JIMMY I JUST CAN'T HANDLE ALL THIS GREAT NEWS ON TRUMP BEING POOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@AbortYurfetuses 3 ай бұрын
@@chrislambert5571Was that English, pal?
@AbortYurfetuses 3 ай бұрын
@@chrislambert5571 If Putin gives him $464 million would that make your fuhrer ineligible to be president?
@AbortYurfetuses 3 ай бұрын
@@chrislambert5571 If Putin gives him the $464 million would that make him ineligible to be president?
@Hania0433 3 ай бұрын
That should be on gigantic poster boards in every city......
@Junkman2008 3 ай бұрын
@@chrislambert5571 Trump's a BINO: Billionaire in Name Only. 😄😆😅🤣😂🤣😅😆
@jeffs6090 3 ай бұрын
Yeah, that was total lawyer speak for "yes". If they don't specifically say no, then it's a yes!
@angieallen9129 3 ай бұрын
They write the comedy themselves ...your job must be easy😂
@TaikoNoTetsujin 3 ай бұрын
Genuine Mexican Taco Bowl is a deep, deep cut...
@gloriaf6971 3 ай бұрын
That Crab Jesus bit was about as crazy as you can get!
@visariosorino8034 3 ай бұрын
Love you Jimmy Kimmel, your show is terrific. Best talk show on the air. Welcome back Jimmy Kimmel. 😊❤👍
@inviktus1983 3 ай бұрын
Seth Meyers is better
@peterp2626 3 ай бұрын
“Isn’t it past your jail time.” Gold Jimmy. Pure gold.
@L2thaGenius 3 ай бұрын
I believe crab Jesus is the most accurate depiction yet
@debprobst330 3 ай бұрын
Please take the plane...the plane...the plane😉
@MrDerekMagnuson 3 ай бұрын
I was in the studio audience for this episode! 3/21/2024 😄
@dceplay 3 ай бұрын
Did you get a fish?
@PleaseDontEatAnimals 3 ай бұрын
Glad I wasn't. I'd be pissed if somebody put a half-dead fish who was needlessly killed for a stupid joke on my lap.
@BMichaelL 3 ай бұрын
I just watched that Stormy - Jimmy interview last night! It was DELIGHTFULLY UNCOMFORTABLY FUNNY AS HELL!!! The spanking and the MUSHROOMS 😂😂😂
@ianhowarth2656 3 ай бұрын
Super crazy. No one likes getting crabs.
@paddycable1723 3 ай бұрын
Thanks again Jimmy for another great monologue - a UK fan.
@scotmandel6699 3 ай бұрын
nobody actually funny in the UK?
@mojoyote5924 3 ай бұрын
That dueling Trump vs Rubio montage was awesome. Edit: And OMG, now I've just watched the crab Jesus fish giveaway, lol
@sheila-we7em 3 ай бұрын
Best part of the sow to be honest
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