I Ain't Prayin For That

Рет қаралды 728,917

Күн бұрын

You ever have someone ask you to pray for something so stupid you're like...
From my third special John Crist: Would Like To Release a Statement, filmed live at the Majestic Theater in Dallas, TX.
Watch the full special here:
• John Crist: Would Like...

Пікірлер: 565

@claudiag.3036 10 ай бұрын

“I’m not putting that up to the God of the universe with MY name on it!” 🤣

@paulettecouncil1382 10 ай бұрын

Indeed!!!

@patricksanders2219 9 ай бұрын

Like god answering from letters and it says sign name and he like, haha nope😂😂😂

@claudiag.3036 8 ай бұрын

@@fearlessinjesuschrist I was quoting the comedian, John. I just thought it was a funny joke.

@Darci3333 3 ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@hopesmith6725 3 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@lp5188 10 ай бұрын

This guy proves you don’t have to be nasty to be funny.

@heathermetz6576 10 ай бұрын

Absolutely! It was a really good show to watch!

@elizabethromsloe1096 10 ай бұрын

Plenty of comedians aren't nasty. 🤷🏼‍♀️

@geraldpchuagmail 10 ай бұрын

@@elizabethromsloe1096like?

@albertoavena 10 ай бұрын

⁠@@elizabethromsloe1096Not the popular ones…

@teachpeace3750 10 ай бұрын

He has also been credibly accused of rape, so… 🤷🏼‍♂️

@SarahMichelle777 10 ай бұрын

I love it when he giggles at his own jokes.

@Liz-in8lu 10 ай бұрын

Haha right?

@correysuladie8956 10 ай бұрын

Me too

@RlRdHd 7 ай бұрын

Was gonna say this! It's like "really can you believe this stuff?" Or when he refers to a past joke like 97%

@Khandiee 9 ай бұрын

“ You should have prayed for wisdom back at the house” 😂😂😂 that caught me off guard because I was thinking the same thing

@chnalvr 10 ай бұрын

He's 100% correct about so many ridiculous prayer requests. Pray to win a football game?

@Lia2222 10 ай бұрын

Sometimes them Cowboys need that extra push, man😂

@Juicetheeunuch 10 ай бұрын

I think at the football game it’s usually a prayer against injury. Often see both teams huddled before a game.

@jdfodio 10 ай бұрын

God uses sports games to speak to many people. Some "Christians" are so judgmental.

@BTBdrummerBTB 9 ай бұрын

I wonder how God responds to that request if the other team prays for their own victory as well

@valerielove7478 9 ай бұрын

I think it's about learning to be like Him in any arena we find ourselves. It's almost never about the occupation or activity (although there's some clearly bad ones out there), it's about bringing His goodness and His way of being into every situation we're in.❤

@777LoveStory 10 ай бұрын

I love how much he laughs at his own jokes.

@Jimmy_in_Mexico 10 ай бұрын

Dude, you're ruthless with that woman. I think the best one was when you said "I don't even want you all up there"😂

@soniac8532 4 ай бұрын

I snort laughed on that one! 😆🤣

@cwwa215 10 ай бұрын

"I didn't even want yall up there" LOL I laughed so hard!!

@HappilyAnonymousGirl 10 ай бұрын

I always wondered since I was a kid if it was possible to be funny without being vulgar. I’m glad more people are proving it is

@thestahlfamilycircus7317 8 ай бұрын

Check out dry bar comedy, especially Fred klett... he's great!

@Lulu-mj2fi 4 ай бұрын

@@thestahlfamilycircus7317I LITERALLY SAID THE SAME THING A COMMENT ABOVE! Except I didn't recommend a comedian😅

@SurrDesSol 2 ай бұрын

Sinbad was really good at it! One of the best to ever do it!🥰😅

@moribundknight2896 2 ай бұрын

That means YOU think that vulgar things are funny

@moribundknight2896 2 ай бұрын

You it hard not to laugh at don't dick jokes.....

@chiberjuberdourado2487 10 ай бұрын

I moved to Alabama and made the mistake of joining in a conversation 2 women were having in a convenience store. They were talking divorce and I said I’m getting divorced too! The women quickly decided we needed to have a prayer circle. In the Circle K!! I had never experienced this so I went along to see what would happen. We held hands, next to the chips, and one woman started praying for us during this difficult time. I was peeking around to see their expressions and especially when a man walked in. Apparently this is thing he saw often because he didn’t bat an eye at 3 women holding hands next to the chips in a Circle K praying! 😂 Welcome to Alabama!

@sistergoodstuff 10 ай бұрын

I think the world needs this!

@chiberjuberdourado2487 10 ай бұрын

@@sistergoodstuff It was very kind of them to include me!

@IzzyKawaiichi 10 ай бұрын

You're in the bible belt. What do you expect?

@annaburns2865 10 ай бұрын

@@IzzyKawaiichiThere are still a lot of toxic people in the Bible Belt. It’s not heaven.

@IzzyKawaiichi 10 ай бұрын

@@annaburns2865 Sweetheart, all I said was that she's in the bible belt. Prayer circles in grocery stores are hardly something to marvel at.

@im_not_meg. 10 ай бұрын

"widows, orphans, missionaries, mAlI wAnTs To WaTcH pAw PaTrOl" 💀💀💀💀💀

@blueskies382 8 ай бұрын

"you should of prayed for wisdom back at the house" lol haha 😆🙌

@mrprikilik5002 10 ай бұрын

The "I didnt even want you all up there" got me good!

@brackishnz 10 ай бұрын

When people pray for a close parking spot so they don't have to walk too far...

@fabiennevdk7045 10 ай бұрын

God: makes that person disabled so he can park at the handicapped spot. ✨🙌 Prayer answered🕊️✨

@Fern_Thaddeus 10 ай бұрын

I hate that. I’ve heard that so many times, what madness, annoying. Lazy fat butts!

@tiffanyarrrr782 10 ай бұрын

@@fabiennevdk7045😂😂😂

@marlenecarvajal9603 10 ай бұрын

@@fabiennevdk7045be careful what you ask for because you just might get it 😂

@janae296 10 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@stephaneenos2997 10 ай бұрын

A true Christian comedian!!! I love you man.

@goodday104 10 ай бұрын

@@AvaAdore-wx5ggyou sound so ridiculous right now. Give me scripture to support your argument

@ng3069 10 ай бұрын

@AvaAdore-wx5gg Maybe learn to laugh alittle! It's good for the soul!

@goodday104 10 ай бұрын

@@AvaAdore-wx5gg you are just a lil sensitive my brother. No worries have a good day

@sergeantchick2820 10 ай бұрын

Dude’s just naturally funny 😂. Love this guy.

@yujelpenner 10 ай бұрын

Comedy at its finest!!!!😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣

@sarikoske396 10 ай бұрын

God bless you John 🙏 I so needed a laugh and you always deliver 😂 Prayers from down under 🇦🇺

@JD-zu9gt 10 ай бұрын

I love how he can’t help but laugh at his own jokes lol

@eddiegutierrez3524 9 ай бұрын

This dude by far has become my favorite comedian. God bless him. 😂

@AuthentiCase 9 ай бұрын

I saw a funny cartoon with a demon at heaven’s gate “I identify as an Angel” and the response of, “yeah… we don’t play that game here.” 🤭👏

@xxThink_Againxx 3 күн бұрын

😂😂😂😂

@ladyweasellou3367 3 ай бұрын

"I didn't even want ya'll up there." 😂 I laughed so hard i woke up my husband and the ferret.

@SDCB754 9 сағат бұрын

Not the ferret!

@picantesworld7723 10 ай бұрын

John is hysterical!! Love him. God bless ❤

@kirklarson1316 10 ай бұрын

The guy is genuinely funny, just chooses topics and subject matter that that normally wouldnt seem laughable. He found a great angle-in. Good work.let the light shine😊

@lynnetrathen4587 10 ай бұрын

I love when he cracks up because he knows the punchline 😂😂

@evelynazamosa-sw7ml 10 ай бұрын

I really appreciate John and his comedies. I love John's comedy.

@nichole1041 10 ай бұрын

😅😅😅 God please make my parachute open when I go skydiving 🤣

@ZICCOcfr 10 ай бұрын

God: hey angels go take care of him. Angels: 🤦🏽‍♂️ not again! Can he just not jump 😂

@nichole1041 10 ай бұрын

@@ZICCOcfr 🤦🏽‍♀️ 😂

@nichole1041 8 ай бұрын

@@ZICCOcfr 🤣

@austin4x 10 ай бұрын

Is that "97%" bit referencing something from earlier in the show, or am I missing an obvious punchline? The crowd was hysterical, he went to the ground, and I'm just confused about what, "I'm 97%, dude" means that was so funny, lol.

@barbarawoodward6794 10 ай бұрын

Me too!😂

@austin4x 10 ай бұрын

@barbarawoodward6794 Yeah, judging by the number of likes and your reply, it appears a lot of folks came to the comments to see if they could figure it out themselves. I'll watch the whole show anyway so it doesn't matter, but most comedians wouldn't use a clip where a big part of the clip is a reference to a joke that isn't in it. But yeah, with this many people liking this comment and nobody yet saying, "wtf are you talking about? It was obvious. You're just dumb," I think that means it is definitely a joke from earlier in the show. I'm thinking he touched on the fact that a lot of people think he's gay because of his mannerisms and he probably said he's 97% straight, lol. That's my educated guess knowing his work.

@rhythmandweights2673 10 ай бұрын

He was referring to an earlier part in the show where he said he was 97% straight. He was just kidding of course the way he tied it together was hilarious.

@austin4x 10 ай бұрын

@@rhythmandweights2673 called it lol. I posted that last reply just in time. 🤣

@rhythmandweights2673 10 ай бұрын

@@austin4x You did call it! Haha!!

@206Zelda 10 ай бұрын

This reminds me of Tim Hawkins when he mentioned the praying methods and requests of various people. I loved his gag of praying for the nourishment of junk food 🤣👌

@zozebee 10 ай бұрын

YESSS THIS IS WONDERFUL 😂😂😂 We need more clean hilarious Christian comedians like this 🔥

@bambiromines6164 10 ай бұрын

John Crist thank you for the laughter! You are my fav comedian!

@tracyhiers6365 9 ай бұрын

His crowdwork is GREAT!

@ajokeosu 10 ай бұрын

On this gorgeous day, let us illuminate the world with acts of kindness and expressions of love.

@IsraelMallett 10 ай бұрын

Thank you John! Good clean fun 😂

@MarkSmith-zb2ih Ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂LOVED THE..."Should have prayed for Wisdom back at the house" line..LOL!!!

@makahiadanielle8459 10 ай бұрын

Love your comedy! 😂

@PaulAllen786 10 ай бұрын

“Should have prayed for wisdom when you were back at the house.” 😂

@racheljones8935 Ай бұрын

We have a prayer board at our church and my 9 year old daughter has been really into reptiles and amphibians lately. So one day we were at church and I saw her writing on a card to put on the prayer board and I went to go check later to see what she wrote and it said "I pray for more snakes in my yard." 😵‍💫

@Lucasmiller6969 10 ай бұрын

This dude is so funny I love it

@kathieb6443 2 ай бұрын

I was a new widow in 2006, moved to a small cottage with a bedroom upstairs. Decided to hang some art on the stairwell wall. Wood stairs with a pie shaped landing, that I put a 2 step stepladder on. As I get on the 2nd step, I said, "Oh, Lord, keep me from getting hurt". As soon as I finished that thought (very short prayer) the ladder shot out from under me & I went flying forward. I ended up with a chicken egg on my forehead that turned into a black eye, a goose egg that bruised my whole left arm & the next day my foot was swollen & I limped for a week. As I lay on the stairs, taking inventory, I thought "well that didn't help" but even tho I looked like someone beat me up or been in a bad car wreck I really wasn't "hurt". AND I figured God thought, "well you're the dummy who put a ladder on the stairs!"

@angelpjc 10 ай бұрын

❤ As always to you, John. Thank you for the belly laughs!

@ojapreferata 4 ай бұрын

This was like a sermon. Especially the first part. Preach it!

@lindalape8493 10 ай бұрын

Clean, hilarious, and so true! Love this guy!!

@artofface.iwishiwasamua8127 10 ай бұрын

He's even more funny when he catches HIMSELF off guard!

@theschipronouncedassky9142 10 ай бұрын

"what are we doing tounges" 😂😂😂 I'm wheezing 😂😂

@nanskidds4214 10 ай бұрын

So funny. Laughter is the BEST medicine 😅😅😅

@mosthated8848 10 ай бұрын

He came to Huntsville, AL, and made the same joke it's still funny. GOD Bless!

@candyluna2929 10 ай бұрын

He is so right. I don't pray for certain stupid stuff

@SolHeizer 10 ай бұрын

Those extra sound effects and facial expressions are everything.😂

@sherrybirchall6638 8 ай бұрын

My mother in law asked her Bible study group to pray for her because her husband wanted to move to Hawaii. Her group literally said they could not pray for that 😂

@lukebrown5395 10 ай бұрын

I’d be down to pray for anyone but some things might not be worth it.

@sweetpeanmolly 10 ай бұрын

He’s brilliant!

@maurawhelan3530 10 ай бұрын

Liked his response to praying for dudes stuck on Everest as God…”they’re not supposed to be there”

@karentarkington236 10 ай бұрын

Dang, hes on point, God thank you for ur mercies, for ur mercy endureth 4 ever

@autumnmcclain5839 10 ай бұрын

This is my favorite thing John has done!

@user-zz3nu2xr8w 10 ай бұрын

Super Funny!!! God bless you John!

@stinkbugdesigns 10 ай бұрын

so funny, I just loved the entire show! *hand on your shoulder* Bless you

@rockmemama86 10 ай бұрын

Haha I talk about all this all the time too! Hilariously put😂

@zahrabelyea9927 10 ай бұрын

The 97% callback...😂😂😂 I'm always excited when you publish a new special. 😃 Thank you for the humor, Mr. Crist.

@JohnSmithAnythingChannel 10 ай бұрын

Would you explain that joke for me?

@banksbanks3556 10 ай бұрын

@@JohnSmithAnythingChannelI’m in the comment section trying to figure it out too😅

@ellicezoe3957 10 ай бұрын

Watch the full length special and you’ll understand within the first 10 minutes. It’s worth watching!!

@christina6532 10 ай бұрын

@@ellicezoe3957 I'm in here tryin' to figure out the 97 percent joke too. Where is the link for the full length special?! LOL

@ellicezoe3957 10 ай бұрын

@@christina6532 Watch the “John Crist: would like to release a statement” special starting at 6:12.

@Gayla06 10 ай бұрын

This guy is awesome. I would love to see him in person

@marielang9552 10 ай бұрын

I love John!

@__fedora___ 10 ай бұрын

At 1:37 - The NASCAR guys praying and the MMA fight 🤣🔥 soooo good man!

@emeldan8420 2 ай бұрын

Thank you for making me laugh! Was having one of those bad days! I laughed & my mind stayed on him through it all. 🙌🏽♥️

@angelafarris1909 10 ай бұрын

Eyes 👀 open especially with a stranger 💯😂😂 watch and pray!!

@gabebowman1071 10 ай бұрын

Love this! 😂

@carladossantos1142 10 ай бұрын

I love you John! ❤

@psychlops924 10 ай бұрын

They really do pray at NASCAR races for them not to die. Not sure what else you should do before driving 200 mph

@simonerunyan5403 10 ай бұрын

I think his point was that their chances of not dying would be much better if they didn't engage in a risky behavior to begin with. It would be like me praying, "Lord, I am about to go swim with sharks. Please protect me.:

@Ally_77777 10 ай бұрын

I really really like this guy. You're saying what I'm thinking!!!!

@katrinawolff5251 10 ай бұрын

Great clean comedy!

@ariannamorrison2758 10 ай бұрын

THIS IS GENUINELY SO FUNNY 🤣🤣🤣

@Darci3333 3 ай бұрын

Love him he is too funny would love to see him perform in person😂😂❤❤

@fatthumbs2020 10 ай бұрын

One of the best bits I have ever heard

@divinetonkeye1484 10 ай бұрын

You can be neat and still be very funny.

@simple_naildesigns 10 ай бұрын

‘Of course it was 12’ 😂

@sabaha2010 10 ай бұрын

Not sure why the algorithm lead me here but I’m glad , he’s really funny!

@w.smalls2117 10 ай бұрын

This is excellent work

@DawnNY 9 ай бұрын

"Hand on my shoulder? I'm 97% Dude " 😂

@viviancovington7813 10 ай бұрын

Made my day! ❤😊

@2stepper2000 10 ай бұрын

he is talking truth Tho, this is a great way to reprove, rebuke and exhortation.

@daedal212 10 ай бұрын

"Hand around his waste..." 😳😆😂🤣 I'm doing it this weekend and will let you know how it goes. 😂

@laurenkidd-nf4lf 10 ай бұрын

THIS. IS. FANTASTIC. 😂😂😂

@laurenkidd-nf4lf 10 ай бұрын

@Valencelincoin Thank you

@886maryrose 2 ай бұрын

You are hilarious.. greatful for clean comedy.

@TalkingWithNate 10 ай бұрын

This was good 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@AlexandriaDarby 10 ай бұрын

I’m crying this is hilarious 😂

@l.c.devereaux2706 10 ай бұрын

John Crist is the man! Please come to Portland!!!

@710drod 8 ай бұрын

Love this guy!!!😂

@YuGiOhDuelChannel 10 ай бұрын

Awesome! Share this! lmao man too funny!

@Simpliyvonne 10 ай бұрын

This man is hilarious 😂

@socorrocbenitez 9 ай бұрын

That's the dude, right there! 😁🤣🤣

@theGaytedCommunityPodcast 10 ай бұрын

😂 This is gold!

@thankfullyforgiven9611 8 ай бұрын

I love this one!😂

@patrickshepherd4664 3 ай бұрын

Probably the best of him I've seen

@DeborahBertling 9 ай бұрын

Exactly! And point so hilariously made.😂

@abigailboyd2534 3 ай бұрын

Boy did I need this today.

@jams4jcmusic 10 ай бұрын

Love his air Jordan’s

@Lori-zh2hv 9 ай бұрын

Love it whenever it's your family that decides to talk to you when they ask you to pray for them..... s a d.....

@GMAlisa 10 ай бұрын

The BEST HERE😂

@trainsupporter9088 10 ай бұрын

I remember one time I had a young man of about 20 visiting a friend of his and he needed a place to stay, so he stayed with me. I didn't know him, but he turned out to be such a delightful person. Anyways, one night he had taken all his clothes off except his underwear and he wanted us to hold both hands together and pray before going to sleep. I didn't mind at all, but it was a first for me!