Milton Jones' BEST One Liners | Stand-Up Spotlight Compilation | Jokes On Us
Рет қаралды 1,967,838
Күн бұрынA joke-packed compilation of The King of Puns - Milton Jones 👑 from almost every single episode of Mock The Week in which he makes an appearance. A true national treasure and one of the reasons the person writing this began their love for comedy (hence making the edit in the first place).
00:00 - Health (Series 8, Episode 1)
01:04 - Family (Series 9, Episode 1)
02:52 - Travel (Series 10, Episode 1)
04:19 - Entertainment (Series 10, Episode 4)
05:37 - Food (Series 10, Episode 5)
07:04 - Careers (Series 10, Episode 10)
08:44 - Relatives (Series 11, Episode 2)
09:58 - Nationality (Series 11, Episode 4)
11:24 - Employment (Series 11, Episode 5)
12:55 - Family (Series 11, Episode 8)
14:29 - Entertainment (Series 14, Episode 2)
15:48 - Work (Series 14, Episode 5)
17:17 - Medicine (Series 14, Episode 7)
18:29 - Transport (Series 14, Episode 11)
19:56 - Music (Series 15, Episode 3)
21:18 - Jobs (Series 15, Episode 6)
23:04 - Shopping (Series 15, Episode 7)
24:40 - Transport (Series 15, Episode 10)
25:53 - Safety (Series 16, Episode 7)
27:30 - School (Series 16, Episode 11)
28:54 - Transport (Series 17, Episode 2)
30:10 - History (Series 17, Episode 4)
31:41 - Travel (Series 17, Episode 8)
32:57 - Parenthood (Series 18, Episode 4)
34:31 - Shopping (Series 18, Episode 6)
35:38 - Communication (Series 18, Episode 10)
Welcome to Jokes On Us - Where all the best stand-up comedy is fed, watered, and given free lodging.
Feast your eyes on the most hysterical clips and compilations that we can get our hands on - from fresh new comics to classic household names right here on KZfaq (and Facebook).
💬 Join the Conversation: We love hearing from our community of comedy enthusiasts! Engage with us in the comments, share your favorite moments, and let us know what topics or skits you'd like to see next.
🔥 New Uploads Weekly: We are committed to keeping the laughter alive, so we regularly upload fresh and engaging content.
Make sure to hit that subscribe button and turn on notifications to unbox a hilarious collection of comedy content. Whatever your taste, we’ve got a giggle here for everyone.
Sit back and laugh the night away… Jokes On Us!
#JokesOnUs #Comedy #StandUp #MiltonJones #MockTheWeek
@barryvyner1161 5 ай бұрын
There's amusing, there's funny, there's hilarious and then, several thousand feet above all of that is Milton Jones. Genius.
@ordinarybear7037 4 ай бұрын
If you latin-ise it you willl see more in what is SAID !! Regards good One & All
@davidscott1052 4 ай бұрын
Don't forget the other one liner king ..Gary Delaney
@ferise1 4 ай бұрын
Not funny
@tom.tom501 4 ай бұрын
@@ordinarybear70370😊❤
@mylovesongs2429 4 ай бұрын
@@ordinarybear7037iloilo olOhio 3:15 >
@markglass9123 5 ай бұрын
I can enjoy hearing the same jokes from Milton at least as many times as his number of grandfathers.
@lisamccarthy6969 4 ай бұрын
Me too...😂😂😂😂😂😂
@AnneDowson-vp8lg 4 ай бұрын
How many grandfather's does he have? I've tried to work it out, but I soon lost count.
@markglass9123 4 ай бұрын
@@AnneDowson-vp8lg The longer he keeps performing, the more new grandfathers he will describe. No other limit on the number that may yet emerge. Thankfully.
@JK-ox8vn 4 ай бұрын
My other grandfather disagrees
@johntupmam4078 4 күн бұрын
@@markglass9123😊
@jmcallion2071 4 ай бұрын
A great comedian who can do comedy without crude language!
@biggusdickus5986 2 ай бұрын
Yep very hard to do nowadays.
@gordonmcmillan4709 4 ай бұрын
"Downhill very quickly" is one of the cleverest things I've ever heard.
@universalfleece 4 ай бұрын
LOL..I just made this comment and then found your comment 👌🤣 His greatest ever gag is his hangman joke in Lion Whisperer
@gordonmcmillan4709 4 ай бұрын
@@universalfleece Ta, I'll go have a look.
@tomharrison1849 3 ай бұрын
I think you need to get out more.
@David-hq4lq 2 ай бұрын
@@tomharrison1849 Iwas just about to type your exact words !
@ivaneames4354 5 ай бұрын
I don't think any of his jokes will ever beat the absolute gem he did in one of the 'Scenes We'd Like to See': "This dish is so simple anyone can make it. You can't, Beatrice. Sorry, you can't beat rice!" Classic.
@AngelicusImmortus 4 ай бұрын
There is an outtake where Dara has lost his earpiece and makes a comment about getting old he thought he was getting deaf Milton says "you'll be losing your hair next" and Dara misses it but it gives Hugh the giggles.
@pwuk 4 ай бұрын
They're all good, my favourite is "ABBAs greatest hits", something like unusual Christmas gifts .
@deborahjanes3706 6 күн бұрын
Or the one about growing up with hyenas "it wasn't easy... but we had a lot of laughs" 😅
@Showmetheevidence- 4 ай бұрын
I think his “my other grandfather” routine is one of his best 😂
@jestermoon 10 күн бұрын
His other grandfather?
@bensheekey1399 4 ай бұрын
Love his deadpan delivery. The king of dad jokes
@MrDaiseymay 4 ай бұрын
I always felt sorry for the other's, standing there trying not to grit their teeth.
@KAF128 3 ай бұрын
@@MrDaiseymay actually, I've heard them say that Milton's material causes most delays in filming because the others can't stop laughing
@CasaErwin 3 ай бұрын
When I first read this comment I thought it said "The king of bad jokes."
@movarvo1217 3 ай бұрын
My 15 Yr old daughter does not concur....today's youth ehh..
@biggusdickus5986 2 ай бұрын
@@CasaErwinShould have gone to Specsavers, they do deaf aids as well now, thats true by the way.
@user-jn1ot1db5p 4 ай бұрын
Russel Howard looks on thinking I could never be this funny … and Russell you are correct
@juancardona9440 3 ай бұрын
The topic is safety….brilliant! 😂 I’m in the U.S. and never heard of Milton Jones before. He has the face of Al Bundy and the wit of Robin Williams. Absolutely genius!
@bl3df0rdays 2 ай бұрын
Yes, he does have an Al Bundy look about him.
@NiToNi2002 2 ай бұрын
Inspired by the great Steven Wright 😉
@ghomerhust 5 ай бұрын
ive seen some of his open stand-up, and he weaves his one liners into a full blown story. milton is a brilliant comic!!
@gkm3838 4 ай бұрын
What a funny guy. I've never seen him before. Probably because I'm blind.
@AnneDowson-vp8lg 4 ай бұрын
That's exactly his sense of humour.
@zorankp 4 ай бұрын
You should see someone about that mate.
@adreenal 4 ай бұрын
Christ! I didn’t see that one coming!
@biggusdickus5986 2 ай бұрын
I think you're bluffing about being blind,... Geddit ? Blindmans Bluff ah c'mon 😂
@lorenanders702 2 ай бұрын
I see what you mean!
@Anglomachian 3 ай бұрын
The genius of Milton is all in the delivery.
@jestermoon 3 ай бұрын
35:45 💯 😂
@shanefoy3720 3 ай бұрын
His face helps, too 😂😂
@pdrg 2 ай бұрын
Honestly I think most of it is in the material - a trove of great one-liners
@ordinarybear7037 2 ай бұрын
No its the complete package.....
@sidscrote7570 14 күн бұрын
Bit like our milkman,..................
@tompage6421 4 ай бұрын
Just like Tommy Cooper. Gets a laugh before he opens his mouth. Class. 👍🇬🇧
@derekday4832 3 ай бұрын
Tommy Cooper. Now there's a funny man who never corpsed on stage.
@biggusdickus5986 2 ай бұрын
@@derekday4832he missed his last curtain call 😂
@Burnersforvanlife Ай бұрын
Compared to Tommy this guy is funny, but not as funny.
@EponaDreams-AmbientDreamscapes 4 ай бұрын
Saw Milton at a comedy club around 10 years ago, and this joke cracked me up... After 9 days of walking to Torquay with my 7 year old nephew I suddenly realised that what he really wanted for his birthday was a walkie-talkie
@waynecarter2169 4 ай бұрын
The joke about his family of Jeans not getting into the nightclub was brilliant. I love the fact that he paused and let the audience assume that they knew the punchline, thinking it was going to "sorry, no jeans" and then he switched it up to "you're all wearing trainers" 😆😆😆
@hennersss 2 ай бұрын
Yeja it's a very old technique, but a good one
@goldenagenut 3 ай бұрын
He has you laughing before telling the first joke, and the laughter doesn't stop! 😂
@loridancer9378 3 ай бұрын
I like that the other comedians seem to relax a bit and just enjoy the heck out of Milton; he's like a treat for them 😊 🎉
@comedyfish 4 ай бұрын
I first saw Milton at the comedy store like 30 years ago - he did that lard downhill joke and I’ve never forgotten it. One of the most amazing jokes I’ve ever heard even now.
@jfern1969 3 ай бұрын
Yes, that's the one joke I can never forget 😊
@aaronpincus6095 5 ай бұрын
Milton's 'Call Back' to other comics jokes is hilarious. They don't show them here but we all know them. "Goes Strawberry' is my favorite.
@ThatCoalSoul 5 ай бұрын
They're more 'quick-time~references' and you're not the flavour of the comedy night if you do them ...I speak from particular experience.
@ghomerhust 5 ай бұрын
watched an Apollo special of his, laughed for 20 minutes straight. he tied his one liners together with silken thread, and then unleashed it on the audience. absolutely brilliant. to the people who don't get his comedy, it's more layers deep than you can comprehend.
@seanhuxter6724 4 ай бұрын
“My uncle worked at the security desk at the o2 arena…”
@hawkpaul8735 4 ай бұрын
A comedy genius. He makes it look so easy.
@CaptainSpock1701 4 ай бұрын
I can remember every single joke that he tells in this video... as he is busy telling them... Then it's gone! How he remembers all at the drop of a hat is beyond me!
@coolcat6103 4 ай бұрын
Lmao he doesn’t!! It’s all scripted, everything is weeks in advance and he has tons of co writers…..how people think this live off the top of his head is beyond me
@tomharrison1849 4 ай бұрын
Rubbish @@coolcat6103
@biggusdickus5986 2 ай бұрын
@@coolcat6103Think you missed his point, he still has to remember them on the day, besides which I've seen him in Wales and he improvised all night. I think you're just projecting. 😅
@coolcat6103 2 ай бұрын
@@biggusdickus5986 projecting what?
@nicholasturton9267 4 ай бұрын
One of his best jokes for me is the one where he took his wife to an orchard for her birthday only to find out what she really wanted was an apple watch
@danielblaxill7649 4 ай бұрын
You know you have it when the crowd laughs before you even open your mouth. Pure genius
@user-wm3bf7pi3u 4 ай бұрын
Said the light house keeper.
@mattdl1983 5 ай бұрын
Every time he steps up, the audience are giggling in anticipation and he never fails to deliver.
@Scribble336 4 ай бұрын
Taped laughter.😂
@worstuserever 4 ай бұрын
@@Scribble336Not true, live audience right there in the studio.
@Scribble336 4 ай бұрын
@@worstuserever I get that but nearly all TV shows have taped laughter even with audiences.
@edopronk1303 4 ай бұрын
@@Scribble336that would be interesting why they only do it for Milton. I know about QI that Jimmy Car said that the audience there laughed so much that people at home think it's a laugh track but it isn't. Life audience laughs more than homeviewers would expect.
@astrecks 4 ай бұрын
@@Scribble336 British audiences don't need prompting with taped laughter! That's a US thing.
@universalfleece 4 ай бұрын
That downhill pretty quickly joke is one of the greatest ever 👌👌🤣🤣
@jonny5352 4 ай бұрын
Saw Milton a few years ago and he did a joke for a guy at the front in a wheelchair, he said did you hear about that pub that's only for people in wheelchairs? It's called the over developed arms lol.
@juskahusk2247 2 ай бұрын
His grandfather was a G.I. and in the RAF and was a submariner. After the war he opened a pub called The Combined Arms.
@cryptogcrypto 2 ай бұрын
The guy thought it was wheelie good
@juskahusk2247 2 ай бұрын
Did you hear about the pub with no chairs? It's called the Stand and De-Liver.
@craigfowler7098 4 ай бұрын
The hosepipe ban hit us hard - lol
@Bigkevy1970 5 ай бұрын
Love Milton Jones. Absolute genius!!
@dabedwards 4 ай бұрын
The master of the dry left field gag. When I saw him in Glasgow, he apologised that he had not had time to change because he had only just arrived from the train station. He was wearing a magician's cloak and a turban with a large ostrich feather.
@scottlarocca 5 ай бұрын
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="1554">25:54</a> Milton's response to "Safety" is priceless 😂
@nonesterj8152 4 ай бұрын
Oh dear, I have a really bad cough and I shouldn’t have watched this. I’ve coughed so hard I can’t swallow. So funny 😂
@catherinewilliams3850 4 ай бұрын
Your not alone, just lauhged myself to an asthma attack😂
@steveelliott5643 4 ай бұрын
you ve bin married too long,thats all love
@SonnyCheung1 4 ай бұрын
Imagine getting your first opportunity to do the standup challenge and your opponent is Milton Jones...
@ianstewart6021 4 ай бұрын
I love the reactions of the other comedians laughing. What a class act!
@INKI_teh_Rogue 3 ай бұрын
I love how everyone always focuses in for Milton 🤣🤣🤣
@gullybull-rx2ng 4 ай бұрын
I DONT KNOW HOW HIS BRAIN WORKS BUT ITS GENIUS
@mariocurtis2208 4 ай бұрын
Every other comedian gives Milton total respect, because his humour is just so funny. For me I am imagining the 'set up' actually happening - hide and seek in the oven! 😂
@johnwickenden5643 4 ай бұрын
Best comedian I've ever heard, brilliant delivery, incredible jokes, and I like the fact they're clean. Well done ! Much appreciated.
@malcolmdale9607 4 ай бұрын
And not a single swear-word. Proof that you don't have to be obscene to be funny.
@hermask815 11 күн бұрын
Sure, but the overall number of jokes is bigger if you include the dirty ones. And if you say they’re not funny because of foul language, the joke is on you.
@JK-ox8vn 4 ай бұрын
Always gets a laugh simply for walking to the microphone. Because punters know he's funny.
@Sequekhan 2 ай бұрын
Could also be the wild static hair style and stare combo
@AngelicusImmortus 3 ай бұрын
i love how he makes Ed Gamble both panic & break in the prat fall for "safety"
@keefsmiff 5 ай бұрын
it's the lard gag that gets me every time pmsl
@ShakilAhmed-qd3vc 4 ай бұрын
I have watched this numerous times, this guy is superb, straight faced! Mr Milton you are one of a kind,keep it up! Bless you and your Entire Family and All the One's from The Auctioneering Background, Over there,there,!
@johnsutherland6808 3 ай бұрын
I love this guy, he could read the phone book and have me in tears, in fact I'm half pished and half way there, so talented, pure dead, brilliant
@ridefast0 4 ай бұрын
Milton Jones and Tim Vine would make a great show!
@ianhowlett4682 4 ай бұрын
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="416">6:56</a> Russian Roulette with a bag of Revels is my all-time favourite joke!
@derekwoods4026 4 ай бұрын
I think his PE teacher bit had a hidden joke. He says, "being a PE teacher," then proceeds to grunt like an A PE.
@tomellis4750 2 ай бұрын
Lovely to see the other comedians appreciate a master at work.
@ryanhenro7649 4 ай бұрын
Never gets old 😂...brilliant stuff !!
@AngelicusImmortus 4 ай бұрын
Love the P.E. teacher gag, particularly as my P.E. tutor was also a Geography tutor.
@newforestpixie5297 2 ай бұрын
so was our schools’ girls’ - Miss Mennie . i saw her after 30 years & she hadn’t changed. ( that’s a joke possibly but she wasn’t smelly…) 🙄
@Golo1949 4 ай бұрын
Believe it i have never heard of this guy, he is BRILLIANT. Definitely be looking out for him in the future.
@Hereford1642 4 ай бұрын
Go searching for his radio series as broadcast on radio 4.
@diannebrook7183 2 ай бұрын
I'm currently listening to his podcast series 😅😅😅
@user-jw8ec1ug1z 3 ай бұрын
You are a comedic genius. Wonderful. Thank you for making me chuckle
@soullessbunny666 4 ай бұрын
He doesn't even have to say anything and I'm laughing!
@liamrowbotham2069 4 ай бұрын
This guy is so clever and downright hilarious hes like our generation of tommy cooper him and tim vine are unique
@smithasureshholisticnutrit6287 5 ай бұрын
Thanks for this...golden!!!
@remaincalm2 3 ай бұрын
Milton is best watched on KZfaq because if you're not laughing after hearing a punchline you can keep rewinding by 5 seconds until the penny drops. The issue is usually with the user, not the equipment. 😂 I love this guy's humour, clever play on words and imagination. It's still true that you don't need vulgarity or profanity to make people belly laugh.
@daevanpatel4207 3 ай бұрын
Milton is the only comedian who is worth this comment hats off hands down he always makes me laugh . Thank you Milton Jones 😂😂
@matthewmason3316 3 ай бұрын
Just come across this. It's absolutely brilliant. Very clever and very funny. Not rude and no swearing , how rare is that. Proves a point, though, doesn't it!!!
@kevinmothers904 5 күн бұрын
He's a practising Christian and doesn't need to be potty mouthed to have people in hysterics.
@1710brett 4 ай бұрын
I love Milton jones he's hilarious
@rxb364 4 ай бұрын
That was a great compilation of videos! ❤
@rootytuners 5 ай бұрын
The “O2 security guard” gag doesn’t make sense without the rest of the show.
@ghomerhust 5 ай бұрын
his real gift is those long running gags. his actual shows will tie early jokes to the later ones in very clever ways. he's one of the best one-liner comedians out there. absolutely brilliant.
@Mayaman67 5 ай бұрын
That's why I didn't get it
@michaelhawthorne8696 Ай бұрын
Old school comedy but no bad language..... great to hear....👌
@harri2626 5 ай бұрын
Truly brilliant, and not one swear word.
@briannewman9285 4 ай бұрын
His effortless humor reminds me of Robin Williams when RW wasn’t snorting coke.
@OldMod67 4 ай бұрын
Never watched Mock The Week. This guy's one liners are amazing!
@MATT-xv4bh 4 ай бұрын
Me wife and I nearly cacked ourselves laughing last night.
@williamdeluce5466 4 ай бұрын
Absolutely brilliant. 😂😂😂😂
@catherinewilliams3850 4 ай бұрын
The amazing mind of Milton, love this guy he's so quick with these one, liners on' 'Mock the week'.
@leonboois5414 4 ай бұрын
I have no idea how this clip appeared in my video feed, but I have been enjoying it since this morning before going off to work! What a serendipitous find! My favourite was the mother telling the kids that a train was coming. On a different note, where did he buy all those psychedelic outfits of the hippie and disco eras?
@m.brizzy5407 3 ай бұрын
It's a pity that Milton's delivery cannot be transferred to British rail, then all the trains would have perfect timing.
@brianvaughan2312 2 ай бұрын
He was Bob monkhouses favourite. That's saying something.. 😂😂
@257ian 4 ай бұрын
Milton is brilliant 😂
@jimgilmore7391 Ай бұрын
Truly brilliant. A genius of stand up!
@streetsoundselectro124 5 ай бұрын
How's your lucky pencil case now then! Still makes me laugh
@gwae48 3 ай бұрын
killing me. 🤪🤣 Best laugh in years.
@czeshirecat6278 5 күн бұрын
he's a delight :) ty
@michaeldillon3113 4 ай бұрын
I would love to see Milton in conversation with Tim Vine 🙂.A one liner off ! Surreal to say the least 😅.
@NaomiCook-vs2gl 29 күн бұрын
This was one of the best stand-up routines I've seen in a while! Keep it up!
@user-wp5ix9hy8c 4 ай бұрын
He is a good funny man i like his One liners absolutely fantastic 😊
@Plateaudweller 4 ай бұрын
Milton is awesome. So deep.
@lazylaurablue 3 ай бұрын
Awesome!
@temuridev 5 ай бұрын
Legend.
@DavidMartin-gx8yl 2 ай бұрын
Undoubtedly one of the best one liners comedians of all time. 😂👍
@thomasbrown7845 4 ай бұрын
And clean. Proves you don't need vulgarity or nastiness.
@stephenfennell 4 ай бұрын
Yep, absolutely true. I've always noticed that with him.
@AnneDowson-vp8lg 4 ай бұрын
This is so true. Never swears. Him and Bill Bailey are about the only ones who don't.
@peterrhodes9209 4 ай бұрын
Tim Vine
@chrispetersen3151 3 ай бұрын
Fuck that bullshit.
@gwauk205 2 ай бұрын
It’s fu@king hilarious isn’t it…
@FernandoPerez-ng7jn 3 күн бұрын
Most of these are brilliant lol
@FunTuberpro 4 ай бұрын
Love this
@waynemitchell1076 4 ай бұрын
Some new stuff from Milton. Nice 👍
@andyprada2767 3 ай бұрын
Fantastic ... well done!
@disposablehero4911 4 ай бұрын
That SAS question joke is so dang smart...and funny.
@robertheinrichvonseyfenste267 4 ай бұрын
UNBELIEVABLE.. the speed he finds his jokes...
@malcolmclarke3033 4 ай бұрын
The man is a genius with words and expressions.
@ianhowlett4682 4 ай бұрын
<a href="#" class="seekto" data-time="535">8:55</a> I’m just going to pop upstairs - now that’s a good joke!!!
@jswaggart01 4 ай бұрын
Milton is my hero. He’s a funny guy but I really like his fashion choices.
@plug4uk696 4 ай бұрын
A genius of comedy and he always cracks me up.. Brilliant ;-)
@RE7Hazuki 4 ай бұрын
My fave joke I tell people all the time is the lad on grandfathers back - going down hill quickly 😂
@truerosie 4 ай бұрын
Lard mate, lard.
@RE7Hazuki 3 ай бұрын
@@truerosie yes. Damned fat fingers.
@deborahjanes3706 6 күн бұрын
Nah mate, more fun with lad 😂@truerosie
@ifstatementifstatement2704 2 ай бұрын
This guy is too good LOL LOL
@adotopp1865 4 ай бұрын
Brilliant!😄
@Quito266 Ай бұрын
Just brilliant.
@user-jh8no1zb9e 3 ай бұрын
WOW - This guy is brilliant
@goldenoriolesilverbirch8220 4 ай бұрын
I actually laughed out loud. Brilliant.
@michaeledwards2333 2 ай бұрын
Seen Milton at the MICF a few years ago, laughed for the entire show, like when watching these videos
@DrTofutybeast 4 ай бұрын
Awesome
Marusya Outdoors
Рет қаралды 57 МЛН
Jokes On Us
Рет қаралды 265 М.
Dry Bar Comedy
Рет қаралды 1,3 МЛН
Jokes On Us
Рет қаралды 333 М.
Dry Bar Comedy
Рет қаралды 1,9 МЛН
Crazy PlanentS
Рет қаралды 2,2 МЛН
HumorMI
Рет қаралды 599 М.
Иви Драма King
Рет қаралды 9 МЛН