7 Signs Your Partner is Emotionally Immature

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Күн бұрын

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Emotional immaturity is when someone can't recognize or control their emotions in an age-appropriate way. An emotionally immature partner shows a lack of depth and understanding about their emotions as well as their partners. This can be an emotionally immature man or an emotionally immature woman. Being emotionally immature puts a lot of stress and strain on the relationship leaving the other partner drained and emotionally depleted. If you've been struggling in your relationship because you can't seem to get on the same page as your partner, it might be because they are emotionally immature, and in this talk I tell you the key signs to look for so you can know for sure.
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Julia Kristina, MA, is a speaker, teacher, master therapist and mental wealth coach who helps smart, highly sensitive, heart centred humans get past anxiety, stress, and self-doubt so they can have better: Better relationships, a better life and feel better about themselves.
Through her membership program, The Shift Society, she helps people identify their deep rooted thoughts and beliefs that are keeping them stuck and struggling, and then teaches them how to take charge of their minds and emotions so they can thrive in all areas of their lives.
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Пікірлер: 91

@sunshineandrain2278 3 ай бұрын

1. Lack empathy 2. Selfish 3. Don’t respect boundaries 4. Don’t take responsibility, blame others and struggle in diverse contexts 5. Take things personally/Very defensive 6. Difficulty controlling emotions 7. Not be honest about feelings

@therocknrollcook 3 ай бұрын

Thanks for that 😊

@minnae.1747 3 ай бұрын

Talking about emotional immaturity is a great way to talk about narcissism, without even having to use the word narcissism.

@rongike 3 ай бұрын

yeah the word narcissism triggers tf out of people, especially narcissists..

@Nick-kf3io 3 ай бұрын

Non narcissistic people can still be emotionally immature though

@minnae.1747 3 ай бұрын

@@Nick-kf3io Yeah they can be. I've been on this emotional immaturity kick lately. It gives something very concrete to say about a narcissist without labelling them. Hell, I love to label them but not everyone is as receptive about labels.

@juliakristinamah 3 ай бұрын

it's true - but both are usually the result of some kind of trauma or attachment injury during childhood.

@melissasymonds1523 3 ай бұрын

@@juliakristinamahyes but not all people that suffer abuse and trauma become narcissistic - but we often end up with one 🤦‍♀️

@Padam91 3 ай бұрын

My ex boyfriend checked all of these boxes and then some. We broke up 6,5 years ago but I still get scared when entering a new relationship. I just started going out with a lovely man who hasn't shown any of these tendencies so far. Being with him feels so easy and peaceful. Let's hope it continues to be this way 😊

@jenne8180 Ай бұрын

My ex-boyfriend was/is exactly the same. I understand your fear I have it too. Mainly because this person was all calm and didn't show any of this until months into the relationship. Then it was like when he felt he was secure in our relationship it all started coming out. It was so confusing and painful.

@lesliengo8347 3 ай бұрын

My dad is emotionally immature. He does not talk about his feelings when it comes, takes things personally, does not regulate emotions, blames external factors for his problems, interprets things negatively and gives the silent treatment when upset. Like most, he didn't learned how to manage feelings, but it is difficult if we raised issues with him and he cannot see what our prespective is like. This often results in boundaries and requests go unmet repeatedly. However, identifying these behaviours is the first step to address issues in a relationship.

@lisareid7043 3 ай бұрын

Now so much makes complete sense and even gut warnings when meeting new people make sense now. Over 40 years married I learned peace is way more desirable than company or a relationship.

@lesliengo8347 3 ай бұрын

Loneliness is an issue if we don't connect with someone we can be ourselves with.

@JeffersonRah 4 сағат бұрын

Being in peace and is happy about doesn't mean they're lonely @@lesliengo8347

@percystreet 3 ай бұрын

Stupidly/comically defensive……… even a question like, “what is the weather going to be like today?” Is negative criticism…… exhausting….. “how can I be expected to know that?”

@Amy.Mowrer 29 күн бұрын

This is my husband to a T

@angiefoster4340 3 ай бұрын

I have been with my spouse 3.5 years. Hearing this today described us better then I have been able to put into words or even understand why. Thank you

@juliakristinamah 3 ай бұрын

I'm really grateful that you found this helpful. Thanks for watching.

@mvg2x34 2 ай бұрын

27 yrs married and the pattern never changes. Mistake(financial, car accident, schedule,etc. - they are confronted with the mistake > they throw an emotional fit> takes discussing their mistake as a personal affront>full on defensive behavior> further dishonesty.

@chooseaname1423 Ай бұрын

Can you do a video on how emotionally immaturity can be fixed in adulthood and how long it takes so people with emotionally immature partners get an idea of how long they could be waiting even if their partner agrees to do the work?

@abigaledavis1223 Ай бұрын

I’m living with a husband like this. I need help. This has been seven years. It’s not getting better. The lack of empathy is astounding. My needs are always dismissed . I’m never heard. He is always the victim. Unwilling to hear me or respect me. My feelings are always a threat. Never owns up to his part. I am blame for everything.

@laureen9576 3 ай бұрын

This is a very good subject, I can be emotionally immature in how I react sometimes. I was pretty bad as a young adult but over time I’ve learned to control my emotions having better tools to help me resolve issues that use to overwhelm me. I believe that is key. When you were not taught how to resolve an issue, it’s overwhelming depending on the severity of the problem. I’m looking forward to learning more from your suggested videos. Thank you! ❤

@aok9969 3 ай бұрын

Sounds very familiar. Weird how there’s always a pattern. Weird how everything makes sense when you think about it. People seem to develop in similar ways. It’s eerie.

@Sunpg 3 ай бұрын

I really needed to hear this today. Thank you for posting this. I cannot say the issues are all on the other side, I have some of these issues as well. Really good to know and recognize these signs in myself or others.

@VeronicaMxoxo 3 ай бұрын

This was so affirming to hear put into words and as you described. I know I have some work to do in this area but as I’ve tried to better myself my partner seems determined to dig his heels in even further with defensive, blaming responses. What you said about trying to resolve something being interpreted as an attack is spot on. Thank for you this video Julia!

@therocknrollcook 3 ай бұрын

I recently came out of a relationship with an avoidant middle aged man. He never had a relationship longer than 2 weeks before me. I saw over 6 months why . He had been so emotionally neglected/ abused as a child which of course materialized in his broken, short term relationships and low self esteem despite his handsome appearance . 😢😢

@veronikakdc 3 ай бұрын

I had the same with my recent ex. So pitty and hard on me ad most of the time I couldn't understand whats going on as he wasn't able to communicate at all. His professional life has similar issues really.

@therocknrollcook 3 ай бұрын

Yes ! His professional life was in shambles too. You nailed it sister

@juliakristinamah 3 ай бұрын

thanks for sharing that.

@MissCaroline24 3 ай бұрын

Hi...love your content. I love people who are mature, and so wise. Thanks for sharing

@abiolaarrow4787 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Julia, this was enlightening... Very spot on

@purplelsy 9 күн бұрын

Thank you so much for sharing this.. now it is all so clear.

@johnmills3163 Ай бұрын

Excellent ! This really helps me understand the individual aspects that make up ... ' Emotional Immaturity ' ! Thank You ! You've confirmed the points I am familiar with / & have experienced ! 👍👍

@lttlod1 3 ай бұрын

I've been emotionally immature. The friendships I've attracted have been emotionally immature. I've worked on myself and have left friends who blame and couldn't take responsibility and grow. I want a partner that is emotionally mature and I want to meet him at that level : ) I love these videos!!

@godsdaughter1185 12 күн бұрын

Thanks Julia.

@patriciacole8773 3 ай бұрын

Excellent information

@chrisdigitalartist 3 ай бұрын

Julia, What a very interesting video today: 7 Key Signs Your Partner is Emotionally Immature First, I really like and appreciate that you added text for each sign on the video. It makes it easier to take down notes. Thank you! =) I am not in a romantic relationship with anyone, but I can see that all these things can still be applied to family members and friends. It also helps me to look within myself and see my growth in my own emotional maturity. Here are my notes: *Emotionally immaturity refers to someone's inability to recognize or control their emotions in an age-appropriate way. *People who show a lack of depth of their own emotions and a lack of depth for their partner's emotions. *Emotional Immaturity puts a lot of stress and strain on a relationship. *There is no judgement for those who are emotionally immature or those with someone who is emotionally immature. 7 Key Signs: 1. They Lack Empathy. 2. They Don't Respect Your Boundaries. 3. They Don't Take Responsibility. 4. They Have a Hard Time Managing Their Emotions. 5.They Take Things Really Personally. 6.They Often Get Very Defensive. 7. They Will Not Talk About Their Feelings.

@jacquelines7071 3 ай бұрын

I can see this now with my adoptive mother. She was bad . 😢. Yes she was never the problem in her warp of a mind. I know because she told me what happened to her. But I've never abused my children because of her.

@jacquelines7071 3 ай бұрын

And I see it goes on until you do something about it. All my relationships I took care of everything. Now I'm the female I'd like to be somewhat taken care of

@jacquelines7071 3 ай бұрын

And now she's gone dead there's a peace I've never had it ce from both parents. He molested me. At times he was a very good person, I don't understand how that came to be only I watched he was not alone with my kids . I don't think that malady can be healed or fixed 😢😢😢😢

@robin513 3 ай бұрын

I'm dealing with this . A partner - also an adult child

@Marekcatholic 3 ай бұрын

Thank you Julia. This is helpful to understand whats going on in someone's mind. Sometimes I dont know what to think when dealing with people.

@Clevelandsteamer324 3 ай бұрын

Lack of empathy = psychopathy. Run. These people are not human.

@rongike 3 ай бұрын

not necessarily, they can just be sooooo insecure they don't have the mental capacity to notice anyone else's needs. lots of that these days.

@therocknrollcook 3 ай бұрын

@@rongike well said 😢 so much of these in today’s society 😢

@russellmacallister6846 3 ай бұрын

This has been a difficult almost 2yrs. I've been dealing with almost ALL of what you shared here. The 1st thing I noticed and asked a friend-(therapist) about was Transference. I see something in her that's worth fighting for, but at what expense to my all around health? I will continue to pray for her healing process. 🙏✌❤

@shellchenonceau6987 3 ай бұрын

Run!

@kathybrady-cl6xt 3 ай бұрын

I feel so emotional after watching this. I have been married for 37 years, and 90% of the marriage has been great, but one thing goes triggers him, and he is exactly as Julia describes. It all makes sense.

@yaroslavlebed7964 Ай бұрын

Thank you, Julia Kristina. Is there also an AUDIO version of Simple Steps to Self Trust?

@mochachaiguy 16 сағат бұрын

My GF will be 70 this November and my children (28 & 30) are way more emotionally mature. Anything that is not praise is internalized as a condemnation of her entire being… this makes for a pretty shallow relationship.

@sailor1921 3 ай бұрын

Why evaluating others (except, of course, to avoid self-reflection and focus on oneself)? Whether or not the other one is emotionally immature (or whatever they could/may/might be) or not is none of your business, for one. Two, if they are, and you keep being around them, chances are, you are yourself too. Or co-dependent. Or both.

@antoniostrina82 3 ай бұрын

I had a relationship with an emotionally immature girl, twenty-one years ago. She was seventeen and I was twenty. Only now, almost forty-two, I know that I could have helped her instead of being stubborn against her behaviour, and prevent her to make wrong decisions for her life.

@aliahmedyacin721 3 ай бұрын

Thank you a lot, JK❤.

@skylight6904 3 ай бұрын

You just described my wife in 20 mins. How do I find someone like you in my country? Is there any hope for me me?

@percystreet 3 ай бұрын

No accountability, no empathy, backed up with lies……. Thankfully, a year plus of research has meant that I am now able to see what is what

@seowweetang2253 3 ай бұрын

Just the other day, my partner told me her tummy hurts. I told her "Get some rest. Hope your tummy feels better". She started a fight over the fact she doesn't like the word "hope". Saying its negative.

@user-rt4cj8lq3h 5 күн бұрын

My husband is this he says rude things to me and if I correct him or say my point of view I can't tell him my feelings at all. He is like dealing with a child. Very frustrating

@melodysanquist4834 17 күн бұрын

You can’t discuss anything with them without being called names and having false accusations hurled at you. It’s pointless

@luvqraft6024 3 ай бұрын

I carry my own load along with my adolescent jokes.

@Maggytango 16 күн бұрын

What is the difference between emotional immaturity and narcism?

@Zaiko000 Ай бұрын

Wow this one was my wife too to a tee.

@Klay_Dubya 3 ай бұрын

Okay so what do you recommend for two people in a relationship that both are not consistently emotionally mature?

@lesliengo8347 3 ай бұрын

Depends on the situation. Is it a partner, friend or parent relationship? Regardless, learning about emotional immaturity and how to become more emotionally mature is a good start. It works if they are willing to learn about emotional maturity.

@virginiavargas2751 Ай бұрын

How0 can manage them?

@homiecrab 3 ай бұрын

Is it good to leave a good relationship? I know it is, but without a reason except wanting to, it feels off to leave

@rongike 3 ай бұрын

there's always a reason, even if it's just a feeling you can't explain. that's your higher self stepping in to set you on your path.

@sim771 3 ай бұрын

It depends, primarily on the why. Relationships aren’t all excitement and spontaneity and healthy ones are mundane so if you’re seeking that rush of excitement then that is worth looking inwards because fr no relationship is going to always feel exciting and be perfect. Probably worth actually talking to a professional like a therapist or counsellor rather than the internet

@berduss7149 3 ай бұрын

I am emotionaly immature ....how about the relationship with myself ???.....

@jayminjoh142 2 ай бұрын

Seek therapy. It really helps

@maritessgavini7300 Ай бұрын

It is so hard. My ex husband for 30 yrs. is like this. 😢

@meganbroad6981 3 ай бұрын

My husband.....😢

@Leggs013 3 ай бұрын

Too Many Childish Adults in the USA

@gabrielleaumont3971 Ай бұрын

Yea. Do you want a toddler in your marriage bed? Playing House ir Mothers and fathers? They refuse to grow up.

@percystreet 3 ай бұрын

A five year-old….. yes……. There is a 20 year age difference between myself and my wife……..often it seems more like 60 years

@Clevelandsteamer324 3 ай бұрын

18:09 eagerly offended

@percystreet 3 ай бұрын

Lonely, yes, because they do not work as a partner……… they end up p155ing on you all the time instead

@percystreet 3 ай бұрын

How is it?……….. appalling……my two daughters (6 and 4) are showing more emotional maturity

@stevecatanio8532 3 ай бұрын

I'm mature I think .😂

@ronaldrobinson4559 3 ай бұрын

Women seem to have the emotional issues. Men are very direct and understand things with logic.

@lesliengo8347 3 ай бұрын

Depends on who you ask 🤷🏽‍♂️. I am a male and I struggle with emotionally immaturity.

@CJSmith-ky5bh 2 ай бұрын

Given the violence against women by men, the assaults, murders, stalking etc, I’d say that’s the huge proof that there’s a great deal of emotional immaturity in men.

@chooseaname1423 Ай бұрын

What you’re witnessing is the hormonal differences in men vs women as well as our evolutionary makeups for our roles and what our brains are wired to focus on.

@donnabaker4713 29 күн бұрын

My boyfriend of 8 years is so wonderful in many ways, but he can't talk about marriage, the future, o some of his feelings..... He was a product of a bad divorce. I don't think anyone helped him in this area. He felt abandoned as a small child after being taken away from his father.i try to remember this, when he shuts down on me and turned into a child, during disagreements.

@ricklegendary2990 Ай бұрын

omg, i cant tell my spouse anything, if i want to better our intimacy she sighhhsss rolls eyes, feels attacked, she starts raising her voice if i say, hey we didnt talk today, lets watch a show together she goes into NO!!! I WANT TO WATCH THIS. before we became official she was fun, she doesnt want to have adult conversations. shes stormed out of rooms, we been living together 7 months, 2 years dating we were great. she is exactly everything you said

@88Oleksiy 3 ай бұрын

If you are with an emotionally inmature person, then you are also emotionally immature person. Emotionally mature person would never be with emotionally immature person.

@lesliengo8347 3 ай бұрын

We don't have control over our external circumstances. We might not even recognize the signs of emotional immaturity until we get deeper into a relationship. And that is assuming we know what to look for in an emotionally immature person.