They were so preoccupied with wondering if they could make a sequel, they didn’t stop to think if they should.

You know what would be an actual hilarious twist? The dinosaurs wipe out humanity in the first ten minutes and the post-credit scene is a shot-for-shot remake of the original Jurassic park but with dinosaur scientists making human clones.

Kind of amusing how the franchise went from a book that was basically a savage takedown of morally bankrupt corporations willing to do anything for a penny... to a movie franchise driven by creatively bankrupt corporation willing to do anything for a penny... Full circle, when you think about it.

The whole "weapons" thing is ridiculous for the simple fact that there are already plenty of non-extinct predatory species that we DON'T use in warfare. Is it somehow easier/cheaper to use clone and train raptors than to train tigers?

Mel Brooks got it right with his joke in SpaceBalls about sequels. “Let’s hope we see each other again soon in SpaceBalls 2 The Search For More Money.”

When you asked "What's next?" I said out loud "Dinosaurs in space," then you said it right after. Gave me a good laugh

Chris Patt, Standing very close between a full grown Carnotaurus and an Allosaurus with his both hands up and not getting instantly chewed is dinosheit

I love that you point out the absurdity of the plane attack. Those planes have a minimal flight speed of 130mph. Any lower and it will just drop from the sky. Even at that speed, no flying animal can achieve a horizontal flight speed that high. Falcons can only get to beyond that by diving from high altitude, which is IMPOSSIBLE for a large animal because of the immense drag on the wings and body, which is hardly perfectly aerodynamic. And then there's the fact that flesh and blood don't respond well to hitting metal over 130mph... Falcons do not grab their prey at the speeds they dive. They clip a wing of the prey to disable it, otherwise the impact might kill the falcon, so the flying dino would have to dive toward the plane at an implausible velocity to catch up to it, and then not get injured fatally when slamming into it.

That "standing on the shoulders of geniuses" line from the 1st movie feels completely apt here.

Ignore the military, question is how fast can they breed for them to be everywhere? It's hard to suspend your disbelief

You basically described the entire reason Steven Spielberg refused to direct sequels to his biggest films. There was a time when an individual film was a work of art, bad or good, and the best ones were masterpieces. The first Jurassic Park film was just about that level, and yes, they should have left it alone.

I like how they include characters from the first film as if they are experts in solving the whole dinosaurs breaking out and causing chaos. They were paleontologists, leaders in their fields, but they never saw a dinosaur before. They would have been just a clueless as any one else in trying to find a way to contain the dinosaurs

Drinker: _"What's next, Dinosaurs in space??"_ Hollyweird: _"... Write that down!"_

I love how they show humans unable to deal with dinosaurs. Like we wouldn’t hunt them ourselves.

Jurassic World is actually somewhat entertaining in a Godzilla vs. King Kong kind of way except for the fact that you lose 10 IQ points with every viewing. I seriously could do a list of 100 idiotic things from that movie, but I'll just go off the top of my head for 10 - 10. According to the movie, people were getting bored of dinosaurs after 30 years. Yeah, that's right DINOSAURS. Amazingly people have been visiting zoos for a thousand years and don't yet seem bored with lions, tigers, bears, otters, etc... but people are bored of DINOSAURS after 30 years. 9. According to some genius, people would rather see some dinosaur that never existed before and was brewed up in a lab than the T-Rex, triceratops and raptors that they've always read about. 8. A 20,000 lb dinosaur that probably needs north of 100,000 calories a day just to function can mask its heat signature because it has frog DNA. 7. I am fooled by claw marks going up a wall into believing the dino escaped despite the fact that I just came from outside the bunker and there was no giant man-eating dinosaur out there. Apparently, I believe its possible that the giant man-eating dinosaur might have slipped outside without anyone noticing. 6. Park owner thinks that a park with DINOSAURS will be shut down if a dinosaur eats someone. This is despite the fact that people get eaten/killed/injured at lion parks nearly every year and the rest of us humans say "those people were fucking stupid" and continue going to said lion parks. 5. A group of men who would know better are sent out to capture the giant man-eating dinosaur equipped with weapons and nets that would fail to subdue a lion let alone a giant man-eating dinosaur. 4. Because the kids pleaded to "stay with you", the main leads bring the kids with them into outrageously dangerous situations where they all should have been dead several times rather than being the adults and simply forcing the kids to stay in the bunker where they would presumably be safe. 3. The big bad dino can understand raptors because it has raptor DNA. That is why I can understand swahili because I have human DNA. 2. Every single word that Vincent D'Onofrio says the entire movie. Totally idiotic. Someone inform him that the raptors usefulness in war died with the invention of the rifle. 1. The main leads stumble onto a field full of dead brontosaurus because the big bad dino is some sort of psycho killer. OK, but how are a bunch of the brontos all laying dead in the same field? When the pscho-saurus jumped out to kill the first bronto, wouldn't have the others ran away? Did they just stand around continuing to chew grass, figuring the psycho-saurus would just kill that one and then go away? Like, fucking seriously, how does this make any sense? When the lion jumps a member of the herd, do the other wildebeasts just stand around like - Sucks for that guy? 1B. The T-Rex is so slow I can outrun it in heals.

Many people don't realize that Michael Crichton was forced to write the "Lost World". He never intended for Jurassic Park to be a series.

Dude I love how dramatic the trailer makes this movie seem XD- like bro they're dinosaurs against an entire military. The dinosaurs really did feel a lot scarier when it was just a group of people vs these apex predators, now it's just ridiculous.

"Dinosaurs In Space" is absolutely the logical conclusion this series is headed towards. And, now that you've entered it into the collective conscious, will definitely happen now. Cheers, Drinker!

I'd give the T-Rex in Lost World a pass for stomping around San Diego as long as it did. 1. You call the police and say "a dinosaur is attacking", you might get lucky enough to get laughed at before they hang up. 2. The national guard did mobilize to kill it, probably because enough people finally calling in a dinosaur attack. I will give the point that the bullshit environmentalist point in Lost World that has carried over into Fallen Kingdom and Dominion is all kinds of retarded. Especially with Malcolm's own quote, "This isn't an animal that was wiped out due to deforestation or the building of a dam, Dinosaurs had their shot and nature selected them for extinction." Between Isla Sorna sinking, and Isla Nublar apparently having an active volcano on it. Even God in the Jurassic Park universe is trying to fix mankind's mistake at bringing back dinosaurs, despite their attempts to preserve them.

The way in which they can just make everything constant cgi has definitely hurt storytelling in big budget movies. Even the first 2 sequels, in comparison, have much better dialogue and pacing because back then you had to have some level of coherency and basic competence in storytelling to keep an audience’s attention. You couldn’t have constant dinosaurs or whatever every second. Now it’s like all that baseline acceptability level is non existent with so many big movies.

Every time a new Jurassic World film is released, it makes me appreciate the original one all the more.

To add to your point Drinker, the "Pterodactyl" you mentioned is a kind of Pterosaur called Quetzacoatlus, regarded as one of the, if not THE largest flying creature to ever live. The reason a giraffe-sized animal could fly at all was because it's body was very light; it had hollow bones and even it's massive skull had a lot of hollow space in it for air sacs. Ramming a reinforced metal plane would probably not be good for it's health. And that's without getting into how they probably on fed and hunted on the ground.

Dern isn't just an actor doing a job. She's been using her franchise clout to spread open misandry. In her latest round she goes off about how "men are the real monsters". So yeah, she IS Holdo.

There was a seed of a good idea in Jurassic World - the Sea World-fication of Dinosaurs could have been a jump off point to something interesting - imagine some kind of Black Fish campaign to free the dinosaurs going horribly awry. Maybe the velocirapters were being trained for the show and doing tricks and some animal liberation types free them and it all goes sideways. It could have been tense, scary, had a message of sorts and still deliver an interesting riff. But oh no, they had to have some dumb plot to "weaponize" dinosaurs while some cardboard cutout characters including some annoying kids ran around a bit while saying stupid shit.

I'll be entirely honest, I enjoyed that one scene from the mandalorian with Luke more than the entire sequel trilogy.

Every youtuber: " Like and subscribe!" Critical Drinker: "Go away now"

Jurassic Park 1993 is a perfect movie. You never lose interest for a second. Just seeing the first brontosaurus and how realistic it looked, it imprinted itself permanently in our brains. How many hundreds of millions of have been spent trying to copy it...

Actually, seeing Laura Dern as Ellie again helps ease the pain of Holdo. Did not sit through the actual Holdo film, being able to scent shite a mile away. She's her sweet, feminine no purple hair self again. Like Vicodin for my eyes.

As a guy getting a bit older, who was utterly in love with the original. This stuff just makes me feel down. The magic from the first film will stand the test of time though. Classic

"The whole pet dinosaur thing isn't going to happen...just like Emelia Clarke's career." I died laughing. It's funny because it's true.

What's funny about the criticism about humans having more than enough firepower, is that that's exactly what happened in the original book. 2 separate humans, including the warden, fight off the raptors and then the warden goes running around with an RPG killing any dino he can find.

I walked out of Jurassic World Dominion feeling the same way as when I walked out of Independence Day Resurgence. They had so much material to work with...

"The combined militaries and police forces of the world" Don't forget about anyone with a firearm at home! They came in clutch with the first Tremors movie, and Lord knows how many people would turn into Big Game Hunters given the chance.

I remember watching the second movie in the theater. When the auction was rolling, some character started blabbering exposition about who was attending like "This is X, he runs a guerrila in Panama. This is is Y, he's a big weapons contractor from the Southeast". and at one point he gets to a person and say "Thats Z, he owns a multibillion dollar company. He wanted to give his daughters a pet triceratops as a birthday gift" Right there and then I said "That's the only person I ACTUALLY believe is attending this crap"

I will say, from what I understand, the issue is not that the police and military can't kill the dinosaurs, it's that dinosaurs that escape into nature have ended up replacing keystone species, making it impossible to just exterminate them without causing ecological collapse... I have probably given this more thought that the writers of this movie will, sadly.

I watched this film with my son today & when we got out I asked if he enjoyed it. He said it wasn't as good as he thought it would be. I asked why and he went on to pick holes in it all the way home. By the time we got home he finished off by saying "It was just a bit of a mess Daddy. I don't think I'll watch it again." My son is 8 and he saw it for what it is - a pile of steaming shit.

This movie is like that scene from “Truman Show” where they bring his Dad back to get him to stay

If I wanted to see an even remotely realistic version of this movie, I'd dust off _Reign of Fire._ I know that dragons are more farfetched than dinosaurs, but at least giant, flying, fire-breathing reptiles are more likely to completely topple human society and destroy the military.

People don't even realize they were Michael Crichton books. Many of his books are good movies. I totally agree with your vids. Thanks for speaking the obvious for us who truly enjoyed the wonder of the original in theaters and how these remakes are absolutely ruining that.

I mentioned the cargo plane coming out of the theater. “Planes can move hundreds of miles an hour. How could a flying dinosaur catch up to one?”

Damn, him just showing the scenes of the raptor in the kitchen brought back the fear. That's how incredible the first one was.

*The dinosaurs from the OG version* looked more realistic than the ones now - now it looks like generic CGI and they frame the shots so you’d be in astonishment but it looks like every other movie that’s released nowadays.

Ok, we are here with the director of “Jurassic Worlds”,and first let me ask where the idea for Dinos in space came from ? Sure, I will be glad to answer that one,you see 10 years ago I was scrollling through KZfaq and found an avid Jurassic fan called Critical Drinker ,and has he was describing how much he loved the series, he mentioned the only thing that could top the first 2 trilogies was taking our beloved dinosaurs into space,and I immediately called my producer to get the ball rolling and here we are

The first movie actually treated the dinosaurs like real animals. The T-Rex attack scene shows how he interacts with the car and the people with more curiosity than anything else, as an apex predator there wouldn’t be anything to stop him to do whatever she wants. Fuck, they even acknowledge that in the movie, even showing that it learned that cars contains food in them, as when it chases the jeep it tries to flip it over the same way it did with the previous. And even the overly eager agressivity of the raptors is explained. They were bread in a tiny closed space, resulting in them being completely agressive and stressed out, as they experience the world for the firts time (the only smart choice they make with the Indominus Rex for the first half of the movie, until it’s become a mob leader on the end). And they were starving, as they have been locked for a while where the powers goes out, so that’s they were chasing the humans so much. On the new trailer they show the Therizinosaur chasing Claire, which is MUCH realistically than a carnivore, as herbivores are way dangerous than carnivores in real life. The worst animal you could encounter in the wild are Hippos or Elephants, who usually attack for no reason. But no, the final boss is the Giganotosaur, who is so big that eating the cast would be the same as a 200 pound adult running a whole 30 minutes to eat 5 oreos as its meal for the day.

A flying creature that size would have a diving speed of less than 60 mph That plane has a cruising speed of 375-425 mph and a top speed closer to 500 That creature attacking that plane is the most idiotic thing I have seen in recent movies.

"Hey, remember the movie they made about an older franchise, and they brought back some nostalgic original cast, and basically did the same thing they've already done?" "Star Wars, Matrix, Jurassic Park, or Indiana Jones?" "Yes."

I'd say dropping a few killing machines in fairly unprotected civilian areas to maim and kill to their heart's content is bloody terrifying and not really a bad idea, if a little underhanded. However they'd have to be in maim and kill mode all the time, not just hunt for food. However I get your point.

How did I miss that Ellie Sattler was the purple haired thing that helped destroy star wars?

I find it weird how the dinosaurs keep breaking out. In the original one, it felt like an act of God that was meant to punish us for our hubris. Now it's treated like an inevitability...as if a well-placed highpower 50 cal round wouldn't take down a dinosaur, let alone a fucking gatling gun full of them.

The drinker's hatred for THAT superman is so hilarious

Just watched Dominion. Holy FUCK. Watching you tear that apart is going to be therapeutic.

I remember bursting out laughing in the theater when the velociraptor ran in in slow motion in the first one. it was so absurd I just couldn't help myself

That part of Tyrion puking, then reversing it, nearly killed me 🤣

For anyone who wants more Jurassic Park without having to watch the newer films, check out Michael Crichtons books. The Jurassic Park book is completely different from the film. It has some moments that were considered for the film but didn't make the cut, and it's considerably darker. The Lost World book has some interesting ideas about animal parenthood and behaviour, and teases the idea genetic modifications (Unfortunately probably the foundation for some of Jurassic Worlds terrible ideas). Both absolutely worth a read.

The more I've thought of this the more I've come to the conclusion that I would absolutely watch Dinosaurs in space..not matter how ridiculous and stupid it was. I mean honestly call it "Dinosaurs on a Space Station" and star Samuel L Jackson and I'm at the theater throwing my money at them.

While people are talking about Blue being back or the Quetzalcoatlus attacking a plane, I'm sitting here wondering: "how are all the dinos moving around in a COLD environment with snow and everything? Being reptiles, they should NOT even be standing let alone running around with horses or stealing from Deadliest Catch!"

Based on how "content rich" the previous movies were, a 5 minute video is an in-depth breakdown for this movie.

Honestly, I've had my fill of 'member-berries. I'm ready for something new. I'd be down for a story about a world where dinosaurs never went extinct and humans evolved alongside them and they have just as deep a connection with us as dogs, horses, birds, etc. I really like the image in the trailer of a bunch of cowboys on horseback rounding up the duck-billed dinosaurs through the snow-covered Montana range, a story about that would be fun.

I loved Jurassic Park 1 and 3. Two was ok but as a whole, I love the trilogy.

*There's more BOTOX on screen than CGI*

"Oh, cool sniper rifle." "Ah, but it only *looks* like a sniper rifle. Actually, it projects a laser dot on the target, and our super-dinos are trained to attack targets that have been marked that way." "Why not just 'mark' the target with a bullet as long as you're aiming a sniper rifle at them?" "... Our system uses super-dinos."

The thing that hit me the hardest about this entire video... when you talked about a movie from my childhood 30 years ago... I immediately thought "Jurassic Park wasn't 30 years ago"... then remembered I'm actually old as hell... Now I'm double depressed... Hand me the whisky...

*How does it feel to live long enough to see all your favorite franchises go down in flames?*

I really hope the Drinker reviews this one, let’s just say it’s a “target rich environment”

The Jurassic Universe movie is going to be great, I hear its an Event Horizon tie-in, where it turns out Dr Weir is actually Dr Grant in disguise, and it turned out his plan all along was to use the Event Horizon to cause the extinction of the dinosaurs. I don't even miss my higher brain function anymore.

The next movie after this one will be definitely about space dinosaurs, and the one after that will involve time traveling to try to stop the creation of the clones in the first place (including tons of nostalgia bait ofc), it will look like they did it but in an after credits scene they will show that an egg or something survived, teasing the next movie where the dinosaurs have evolved somehow and now they can talk and make jokes so this one will be a romantic comedy.

I think jw 1 was a smart subtle criticism of “bigger, scarier, cooler” because it’s aware that everyone and their mom loves the first one best. And also; the idea of dinos on the mainland has been pitched since the first book but I think I would’ve preferred a subtle incline of dinos, Not a poorly written 4 year jump. Overall, love your reviews as always.

Thank you for making this video. I completely agree with you. This is going to be one of the worst Hollywood sh*t we have seen in a while. The story looks like something designed exclusively for 12 years old... So stupid. We are very far from the awesomeness of the first movie.

While I can have a good time watching most of the films, the first one seems to be the only one that had the dinosaurs actually behave like animals and not killing machines that switched from mindless to way too smart whenever the plot required it.

I love the mash up of Admiral Holdo and Sam Neill screaming in event horizon - worked perfectly

4:22. That's a quetzalcoatlus actually. (A giraffe size predatory bird).

I rather like the idea of Dinosaurs in Space. Like, T-Rex somehow get aboard the ISS and hilarity ensues. Comedy gold.

There is one thing this movie has going for it: It proves that they went out of their way to make Laura look as unpleasant in TLJ

“How can you possibly miss from that range” as an Xcom player I can say that you would be surprised how often people miss a target that is that close to them

Oh man, thank goodness you're on the side of the sane and knowledgeable. I for one would be very very nervous, if you served in the opposing forces. Thanks again mate, bloody brilliant!

I love it how the drinkers outro 'Anyway that's....' depends on the mood of the review. Sometimes it's bored and sometimes it's downright angry 😁

My initial reaction to the trailer for this was “well they brought back the OG cast members, which is kinda nice, and at least they allowed them to all be on the screen at one time, unlike in Disney’s take on Star Wars”

Continuous cycles of reboots are a sign of a creatively bankrupt industry.

When all my friends post about "oooh I can't wait for the new Jurassic movie!" I'm like.. just make it stop.... And pretty much explain how you said it but not as well articulated. The first original sequels were a bit of fun but weren't great. Like you said... They should've stopped at the original

When you said what’s next I said “ Dom Torreto riding T. rex “

They've basically given the dinosaurs the "Jaws" treatment: animals with human strategic abilities. But you're the first commentator that's pointed out, no, they would behave like animals, not humans, so bravo.

You know it's interesting that they originally planned a movie/the indoraptor around animal abuse and making comparisons to poorly ethical captivity methods and then they went from that idea to Fallen Kingdom

Hilariously the Jurassic franchise became the little sister of Sharknado. Oh, and they were in space, mate.

The one good sequel idea (and, even then, I see this as being more as a standalone adaptation with no connection the franchise) is if someone made faithful film/show versions of the original Crichton novels. They were basically full-blown horror and would make for very different experiences.

Michael Crichton was one of my personal favorite writers and I loved his books including Jurassic Park. What Universal has done to his work is disgraceful. They have taken everything that was good about his books and have crapped all over it. His writing was incredibly in depth because he spoke to real scientists and doctors. Certain pages of Jurassic Park were all about the real science about how cloning could be performed. Just about every book he ever wrote were turned into film adaptations. Even the show ER was written by him. Nothing I see now even looks like it was inspired by his writing. It's very sad to see what Universal keeps doing to his work.

The first thought that came to my mind at the end of the second film of this new trilogy was: 'There weren't many dinosaurs alive in this ending, even Blue looks like it's the last velociraptor, the big one released in the ocean will need to eat and will be killed for sure, the smaller ones will be killed by dogs or poisoned by plants etc. The few medium and large dinosaurs will be hunted and killed quickly.' There is not the slightest possibility of a new world ruled by dinosaurs even in that universe. The whole idea is idiotic.

I love how they missed the obvious flaw, dinos cant survive in the snow…..

Next up, The Fast and The Jurassic crossover movie. Can't wait to see the new dinosaur member of the Toretto family.

This one is gonna be extremely bad. The dinosaurs running around in cities is such a "appealing to kids" move. Just a big cashgrab.

The Jurassic Park franchise is a whole lot like the story of my ex and I; started good, dragged on too long and ended up getting revived several years later to huge disappointment before fizzing out like a forced wet fart during an orchestra.

As a huge fan of the original movie and books what h wanted them to do (if they had to do anything) was reboot the original story but make it an R-rated film that followed more closely to the book. Jurassic Park is a horror and if you aren’t trying to make it PG-13 there is a lot of material in the book that would have made for a great film. Same goes with The Lost World novel.

Hot Take: the latest Jurassic movies with Pratt have been entertaining and aren't that bad (probably seem that way juxtaposed to 2 and 3 which were beyond terrible and maybe bc I had very low expectations). Obviously they won't be as good as the first classic, but what do you expect? Its Chris Pratt fighting dinosaurs - Its an In n Out burger, one can't reasonably be expecting exquisitely made sushi from this movie. And at least it's not as bad as the latest Star Wars installments which were abominations.

Its always made me laugh when movies try to portray guns as being useless and weak whilst Hollywood simultaneously rails for more gun control.

The Critical Drinkers voice has now become my inner voice as I criticize all the dumb shit around me in my daily life!

We could go with a Fast&Furious Jurassic world crossover event !! Dino’s V.S Family 🏎🦖

Drinker: dinosaurs in space? Hollywood: write that down write that down.

I love how Jurassic World has become a metaphor for Hollywood in general. Let's take an idea, make it worse, and screw up so badly it kills people('s faith in us).

Are they really trying to convince us that the handful of dinosaurs that escaped from the mansion at the end of the last movie have multiplied and taken over the planet in the span of... a few years at most? Where did they all come from?

Yeah it's always been hilarious and made no sense that bullets just bounce off or scratch the dinosaur's itch when in reality it would be a turkey shoot they are made out of flesh, bone and skin unless the only weapons left were bb and pellet guns. The military would be able to drop dinosaur's left and right

These movies would be interesting if they pulled a Fast and Furious, didn't take themselves seriously at all and just abused the rule of cool and fun of having dinosaurs roaming the planet and eating people. The fact they try to make these sound serious and tense just make it bizarre.