I am a successful PhD scientist. Yes, this is true. While a star at work, people would be surprised at what a hot mess my personal life has been. My apartment is a mess. It took me years to upgrade my particle board furniture from graduate school when I was poor to basic middle class furniture - only after getting a push from others. I've had severe depression and stress-related health issues. I've gone through numerous abusive romantic relationships because I was so clueless about what love really is. My parents never valued me as a person and don't really like me (or my sibling) - only how braggable I am is valued by them. They left me out in the cold when I had mental health issues, health issues, etc...it's been an eye-opening few years after life has kicked me in the ass to the point where I absolutely had to get my life straightened out.

You are a beautiful person! Please talk more about avoidance for women over fifty. I have chosen narcissists over and over but I don’t want to become a single over fifty woman who says it’s more peaceful to be alone, I don’t want my hobbies and my grandchildren to fill the love void! There’s an epidemic of women like this. Please be brutal and give us a love pep talk on not giving up!

My husband is like this. He admits his childhood was bad and traumatic. His mother spoiled him too much and his dad was physically and mentally abusive. My childhood was traumatic too. I lived in an unsafe foster place.. Love your videos. ❤

This video is almost UNREAL!! You are definitely GOD sent. Thank you for explaining ME FLAWLESSLY…beginning my journey of healing.

Only a short comment today.. YOU ARE RIGHT.. 80 to 85 % of our population at least of the upper middle class academics suffer from this pandemy..

Thank you for your work. Its crazy I've been noticing these things you mentioned in the world and my family dynamics and I'm so glad someone is finally putting words and meaning to it.

I am currently dealing with this. I would say that these people have ‘narcissistic’ tendencies because they thrive on perfection and knowing it all. They flat out deny any wrongdoing and their denial walls are so thick it’s impossible to get through to them. The fantasy they live in always makes them the “hero” or the “victim “ in any given situation. I call it manipulation which makes you think they are narcissistic. Either way, it’s very taxing and unhealthy. Denial is man’s greatest defense and with this person I see that he has been in denial about everything….past relationships, his childhood, etc. He also has high anxiety….which I think comes from all the protection mechanisms he has to keep in place.

THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. WOW. Thank you Dr. Weiss. This is such an eye-opener for me. I am just mind-blown right now at how much revelation I’m receiving. Thank Jesus Christ for you kind sir. Have you written a book of any kind? Please let us know. Thank you

Thank you Kenny.Needed to know what is self-love.

Extraordinary insight! So incredibly palatable; so perfectly presented....Much, much, much for me to reflect upon; to digest. There are so many times when I listen to you that I feel love & admiration for you & your ability to reveal vulnerabilities & your courage in presenting sensitive dynamics & I just want to give you a warm, kind hug & encourage you to continue to share your 'Being' with us. I am so grateful for you!

this is very important stuff, thank you for sharing

Superb video.

Absolutely brilliant

Very interesting content ..! Again., resonates on so many levels to what I believe i have experienced in the past.

Mind blowing stuff!! If you can’t have them in your life then it is really hard to get interdependency without a relationship to begin with which can lead you to avoidant attachment out of resentment

So true. And i feel so sorry from the bottom of my heart for these people. Because what they think is normal its not, it was implemented in them, and they dont even know it. They just look at the world and they have no idea why they see it that way. Why people go away from their life. They have no idea. My heart goes out for them, because i used to be them, and i know how it feels.That what makes it hard to live them. Because its not their fault, but at the same time its not mine either.

This applies to me. Overresponsible. Building walls between myself and others. Instinctively. But changing…

This is soooo true! Ty!🎯💯👏🏽

Thank you❤

Another home run, your videos are one gem after another 🙏

I’m going through a tough time with my wife who is currently staying at her parents place with our new born . It’s a confinement of sort where she lives with her mom to recover from child birth … her dad exploded at me and told everyone that I couldn’t lead the family … and started attacking me at every single thing he thought I did wrong, from my dress code to praying… this was the time I also was dealing with a loss of 20k business… and juggling everything to make sure thing was alright… the thing is he yelled at me , in front my my brother and mom …. My mom isn’t the type to sit and keep quiet like I am .. she started questioning him in a heated argument … I was completely deveststed … cuz the blame is still on me.. at the end of the arguements … my wife blames me , everyone on her side blamed me.. and they wanna move on without taking any blame and expect me to make the changes … now I feel so many bonds has been broken, including my wife and I , me and my step son .. and the only one I feel connected is with my new born… ever since then I read so much on trauma bonding and narcissism and wstched you videos .. it gave me a perspective that I’m an internaliser… I stopped responding to my wife’s attacks like ‘ he doesn’t listen me to me’ and ‘you don’t care what I said’ statements .. out of no where … .. their family function so well with the dad being the top of the chain and everyone just submits … but I know while it appear to be functioning .. it’s not me to follow their rules… I’m rebuilding myself now to create boundaries and finding happiness in other areas of my life .. but I’m afraid the relationship with my wife will never work as long she still pins the blame on me … There’s no conversation to be had cuz everything I say turns into ammo she use to deflect it back to me …. Gawsh this is complecsted ….

Always learn such interesting things from your videos. Would love to see a video for those of us who love our animals more than people - how to stop being needless and wantless.

Externalization. A grandiose view of life. They seek admiration from others on a constant basis. They feel empty thus they must achieve ( human doers). May have fantsies of sucess and how wonderful they are. Sadistic superego always attacking them so they need others to tell them they are good , great because when I'm alone i feel empty and use denial of many feelings. Must stay busy because the emptiness will show up if they are not distracted. Difficult to treat these shame based people because their denial is so thick. Omission of truth. Wall of themselves so they can avoid intimacy which they fear. They believe the opposite of who they are You can't tell them anything because they as a defense are all knowing. They will not take 1 class to do better at their occupation. They're extremely detached from who they are display pervasive denial. This denial is so thick and they externalize their difficulties. It's not their fault; even the nicestly stated way of how they should do things is taken as a an attack. Hypervigilence for critical or guilting. Often taking comments wrongly and view people as attacking them when someone just asked them to pick up a paper off the floor. They view the statement as an attack and plan their punishment of that person who dared to ask them to take the paperoff the floor. They shouldn't have to do that. Often have addictions to blow of stream and reduce their anxiety. Yes women are becoming masculine these days and its not attractive. They will end up alone. Very self important women. Looks narcissistic. Power and control.

Loved your comments about the medical profession

I wanna hear it ,but i haven’t gotten that deep. Lol i like truth, hard truth. It makes me realize things need to be healed and changed. Thank you for the hard truth. I could never find a therapist that could help me. Because they just agreed with everything, saying its normal to feel the way i do… well if it was normal I wouldn’t be there , I wouldn’t feel i needed help.

Kenny this is incredible. I so agree that the world is making addiction ok. My H is like this. Breaks my heart that he lives in a fantasy

Oh, this video is about me. The child of an alcoholic and a codependent.

Overly mature??, oh! Does that mean a person with all these traits that is emotional inmature (although they have a good job and is finantially responsable) is a actually a narcisists???

So true. People these days already have a bond with their kids (or something else). We're just here to 'fill in the blanks'. Have a couple vapid dinners a week followed by sex and that's it. No thank you! I rather stay single than troll through dating sights just to find one of these situationships.

I believe that my three sisters and two brothers are falsely empowered; myself more disempowered. Great video. Watch....rinse,....repeat! Kenny could you do a video on black sheep in family units? I am one, I believe.

Very true

You forgot to mention religion as an addiction to certainty. It very common in the southern us to see people addicted to certainty.

Narcs seek validation and hence are dependent on individuals while these people seek recognition and hence are more about what society deems worthy.

😮😮😮 feeling called out

Those were my almost exact words for years I would say about us as people in order to grow as society or humanity its a growing process but start 🧐🤔 I was MISGUIDED til now but I tell you when we own the codependency truthfully we will evolve humans

Amazing video I really struggle to see the difference between narcissistic and codependent yet I watched the videos explaining that but I still don’t get it 🤔

I’m working on getting out of a marriage with someone who meets this description to a T. Any tips or advice for how to navigate this as peacefully as possible? Even slightly triggered, he explodes with nastiness; I’m just trying to hold it together until I can get away. He genuinely thinks he’s doing everything right “now that his eyes are open” - but he is completely out of touch with reality, and I absolutely think it’s shame-based. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you - love your videos!

23:02 Do you have any reading references I can dive into on this statement. I am intrigued and want to know more.

So much good information here. Very interesting points about the execution of feminism.

I can't believe others whom I have respect for in this field are not making these distinctions between narcissism and falsely empowered codependants.

So true about self-victimizing feminists

The beginning description sounds like narcissism.

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I’m not getting your messages today. I deeply love animals and my children were young so I was very involved with them as I was the only participating parent. I was abused severely as a child then in the first marriage 24/7. The ex was involved .01% with them and me living in the same house. No abuse to my children. I am deeply loving to my husband my 2nd marriage of 25 years. Also I’ve kept extremely busy with my children and pets as well making our house our home and I’m a perfectionist. Not clear on this one the first time ever with your teachings. Thank you for your words of wisdom and guidance. Wishing You the Best of Life and Love. Mentioning I’ve been treated like a door mat by way to many people. Just not clear to me.

Sounds like narcissism

I listen this and i m sure rarely people like you and understaind ypu Kenny. Becauce most people hate true said in face. I am type for true in face. . But most people arent. Humanity is sick couse they handle this true in video. They will rather hate you Kenny

Wow! Plot twist. I never would have known.. 🤯

The narcs new supply isnt crossedeyed 23 yrs absent intimacy church faith solid. Yrs month of him stringing love bombed bribes in family maybe

I don't think the obsession with animals is always about power at all. I think if you personally don't feel a connection to animals or the natural world then you might project onto others that it's about power... I wish my animals didn't love me to be honest then I wouldn't feel like I have to worry about their well being so much ... I know that sounds weird. I think I am something like an anxiously attached codependent and I truly truly truly feel my own pain when I see animals or humans suffer at least my perception of suffering but I also hate that feeling of the expectation to be good or giving or for others to return my compassion... The only return I want is for people to give without expectation when they feel a calling to do so... I do think there probably is something unhealthy and helpful about how I give because I do not always feel like taking care of myself the way I take care of other things, but if I can fill up a hungry stray cats belly for $3 and a little time then I feel accomplished at the end of the day... So to say it's about power and that I need these animals to love me, no, because when they do get attached to me it feels like chains and then I feel like I am required to take care of them... I would give purely anonymously if I could and I do when I can because at the end of the day seeing a creature cat, dog, human, plant go from suffering to content makes me feel content also. Sure, maybe I am trying to make up for the neglect I experienced in childhood, maybe I'm trying to take care of the adults who suffered around me when I was a child and maybe that's ok because I'm not harming others, I'm trying to help the world, maybe a desire to improve things is grandiose to a point, Not everyone cares about power, maybe somehow my lack of drive for power is also a subconscious ploy for power I'm not sure, all I can say is that that is not at all or even remotely my conscious intention for loving animals or the vulnerable and I'm far far far from perfect, I'm not trying to be perfect I'm just honestly trying to listen to my heart in a world that says over and over the heart is dumb 💜 I was also not raised like the average person in the united states'. I was born homeless basically and grew up quite a bit pooer than the average person in the united States... I moved around alot and lived for periods of time without electricity and running water

Can a falsely empowered codependent use “helping others” (fixing people’s problems ) as a means for control?

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Thank you for your work. Its crazy I've been noticing these things you mentioned in the world and family dynamics and I'm so glad someone is finally putting words and meaning to it.