The Dangers of Staying With A Narcissist

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The Dangers of Staying With A Narcissist

Рет қаралды 30,525

Күн бұрын

A long-term romantic relationship with a narcissist can be overwhelming and extremely damaging on all levels. From an outsider's perspective, the solution seems straightforward: just LEAVE! However, there are many factors that can complicate the process of getting out of a relationship with a narcissist. In this video, I will be discussing the most significant risks associated with staying in a narcissistic relationship, as well as providing 5 tips to help you cope if you feel like you can't leave.
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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.
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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. All content is for general information purposes only and does not replace a mental health care of consultation with a health professional.
If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.
0:00-1:12: Introduction
1:12-4:59: Why do narcissists treat partners badly?
4:59-6:19: The narcissist’s self-worth
6:19-7:10: Threat to their ego
7:10-7:54: Why people can’t easily leave narcissists
7:54-9:56: What happens if you stay
9:56-11:30: The biggest danger of staying with a narcissist
11:30-14:16: Tips to help if you chose to stay
#npd; #narcissistic; #narcissist; #narcissism

Пікірлер: 217

@lisajones6334 Жыл бұрын

Not all narcissists rage, some use very subtle passive aggressive tactics. They use neglect, intermittent reinforcement & indifference as emotional abuse to keep you inline. This kind of abuse is also invisible to the outside world, and easily denied, so you (and everyone else) think you are the crazy, abusive one, who has got it all wrong.

@momma1772 8 ай бұрын

This is what I'm married to. He stops returning texts, doesn't answer calls.

@Medietos 6 ай бұрын

@@momma1772 Can you get away at all? Get pauses at least? Do ACA-free program?

@momma1772 6 ай бұрын

@Medietos not yet. All the debt is in my name and I can't afford to do anything.

@TheHumanRanger Жыл бұрын

Staying with a narcissist only gets worse, it NEVER really gets better!

@secretm.5896 Жыл бұрын

Yep, just a destructive endless waste of time and life........

@johnb2956 Жыл бұрын

Yes, yes, yes!!!!!

@antonp6917 Жыл бұрын

Yet we keep trying 🙄

@TheHumanRanger Жыл бұрын

@@antonp6917 I do not try with women anymore, I contact them, then if they pursue me and follow my rules I spend some time with them... or they can leave and stop wasting my time :)

@antonp6917 11 ай бұрын

@@TheHumanRanger thank you, brother! Set rock solid boundaries...got it

@jakekarlin816 Жыл бұрын

The sad part is that I have been so destroyed financially that at this point , leaving means homelessness. And it honestly looks better to me to be homeless than to continue living the same lifestyle as I have been.!

@ChiqueChiing Жыл бұрын

Is anyone else afraid of commenting on these posts for fear of getting a notification at the wrong time 😮

@Keepswimming....123 Жыл бұрын

@@ChiqueChiingI totally gave it a second thought for fear that my spouse might see my post.

@nemziii200 Жыл бұрын

@@ChiqueChiingyes because she has my phone which has all my info, but I need to speak up, I've gone thru too much to hide my feelings

@IdiotenMitStyleSBG Жыл бұрын

@@nemziii200 lol your spouse sound boring

@619mom8 11 ай бұрын

I’m in the same boat. Went through my finances And I have not instead of working and I had moved in with him prior to Covid and I sold my house in Ocean Beach biggest mistake ever

@tuhinsuryachakraborty 2 ай бұрын

You can never be enough for a narcissist. If you're strong enough run from them and never look back. I knew it very well from the 1.5 years of relationship with a covert narcissist.

@tubab72 Жыл бұрын

Wearing a literal "bulletproof vest" has been (and still is) a part of my every day professional life for decades. No problem ! But having to wear a proverbial one at home for only a couple years was to much for me. Problem is both the real thing and the proverbial one are not really bulletproof. You will get hit and hurt eventually. When i realised that i just put my hands up and walked away ! Walked away with my life ! Best move i ever made !!

@dennistate5953 Жыл бұрын

YOU! Already know! Thanking God you escaped!

@user-jh4kx4cl6n 19 күн бұрын

Good for you to you. Those vests are heavy.

@twocandles1108 Жыл бұрын

This was like the best video for someone in the midst of it

@alfonsobejarano4531 Жыл бұрын

After 25 years l end it up with fibromyalgia and all kinds of physical and emotional issues, 4 years out and still struggling with a lot after this psychopatic hurricane.

@michellebelle6269 7 ай бұрын

After 15 years, I never even considered my autoimmune disease and fibromyalgia could have been caused by my marriage to a narcissist. Have your symptoms with fibromyalgia gotten any better since you left? I am still navigating my marriage and it's been torture on my physical and emotional health.

@alfonsobejarano4531 7 ай бұрын

@@michellebelle6269 still navigating?, is going to sunk anyways and the longer the worst for you, l feel better the pain is less, l have peace.

@my68mgb Жыл бұрын

1 month into dating she asked while I was driving if I would consider marriage to which I absently replied “I honest haven’t thought about that yet”. She immediately started bawling and I had to pull over. 12yrs of marriage and divorce later, I realize now that was a HUGE red flag

@nemziii200 Жыл бұрын

You did the right thing, I got love bombed, and walked right into her trap

@jm-ve8ry Жыл бұрын

Fascinating. First thing I noticed was the complete lack of empathy. To be honest, the trip was so unusual I just played along , watching and studying. Text book example unfolded right before my eyes. Ultimately I felt sadness over the realization that someone I cared about could be so damaged, so unable to achieve and embrace real intimacy.

@BassmanDan66 2 ай бұрын

Ditto.

@karinmartin4025 Жыл бұрын

This was so spot on. I am nine years out of a four year (two years married ) relationship with a narcissist. He may have had borderline personality also. I could not find this kind of quality information and support earlier in my recovery. It really would’ve helped. I questioned myself for a long time wondering if I could’ve done something differently to save the relationship. Now, I realize it was hopeless. I was “love starved” coming into this relationship. His praise of me drowned out my own inner critic. He provided an anchor for my wounded soul. This made it all the more devastating and confusing when I left. Still, it was the right thing to leave. I have found healing and sanity. Out of the ashes…❤

@demigaines5644 Жыл бұрын

Thank You For Sharing This The Worst Thing I Did Was Having A 8 Year Relationship With A Malignant Narcissist. I Developed Severe Health Issues Severe Depression Anxiety.Low Self Worth Uncontrollable Shaking FEAR Inadequacy..Self Doubt. Not Feeling Good Enough My Life Was Destroyed Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal

@demigaines5644 Жыл бұрын

@@alexs5405 Thank you So Very Much For Caring For Sharing This.I’m Struggling To Keep My Abuser Blocked. I Blocked The Narcissist This Past Saturday And I’m Struggling. How Do I Stay Strong keeping My Abuser Blocked!!

@melaniemills5255 Жыл бұрын

I’m going through the same things as you I’ve been discarded But he keeps coming back And I keep getting lured back in He knows I still love him He’s messing with my head I think I’ve got a trauma bond with him

@MHLivestreams Жыл бұрын

I realised it had to end, even with 2 children. It was the worst decision, and also the best. Do what you need to do, because you know it won't improve. Love yourself enough to not put up with it. ♥️

@viewsfromthe7side171 Жыл бұрын

How do you walk away I have 3 children I’m afraid of her taking out her frustrations out on them all the time

@MHLivestreams Жыл бұрын

@@viewsfromthe7side171 collect evidence of her behaviour if it's bad and you have opportunities, you could go for child custody. I just realised things would get much worse and kicked her out. It's taken a long time to recover from it all, and wouldn't wish any of this on anyone. I stayed for the children for as long as possible, only you know what's best for you. Good luck.

@Bibleinformationandhelp Жыл бұрын

Stop trying to defend or justify your actions. This is good advice here. Sometimes a narcissist doesn't even care what you have to say at times lol. Sometimes it is best to be quiet and do what you have to do.

@TheOne-N-Only_Mr.E Жыл бұрын

I made the mistake of showing one of your videos on "Covert Narcissisim" to my now ex wife. And I was like "Look at this, it's literally what you're doing to me!" So, what did she do? She turned around and said that I was the Narcissist! Is that mirroring or what!?

@deezyunionboy 11 ай бұрын

They really don’t see it the way we do, their brains literally think that everyone else is the problem…. It’s a sick disorder

@GrandmaMaeCorporation 7 ай бұрын

This is textbook behavior. I believe it does no good to inform them of truth.

@ronaldculley 4 ай бұрын

This is my HORROR MOVIE SCRIPT !!!

@bobrovsergey 3 ай бұрын

lol mine did exactly the same

@davefarnsworth3020 Жыл бұрын

Two of the songs that have helped me are " I don't remember loving you" by John Conlee, and "Already gone" by the Eagles. Stay strong people.

@MainSupply7285 Жыл бұрын

So many songs. Savior. By Rise against

@davefarnsworth3020 Жыл бұрын

@@MainSupply7285 interesting lyrics

@andrepaul3483 6 күн бұрын

Mine's Master of Puppets and Bleeding Me by Metallica.

@Aatell764 Жыл бұрын

I didn't know my ex was a narcissist, but about 4 months into the relationship she accidentally showed me the ring she was going to propose to me with and told me she was planning on doing when we were going to Florida for vacation in like two weeks. I told her don't propose to me. It broke her heart at the time. She held it against me the entire relationship. Now many many months later when I went through her phone turns out she was already cheating on me and talking to other guys when she was planning on marrying me. Just absolutely nuts how big of a bullet I dodged. I feel good today it's taken me about 2 1/2 months and I'm starting to feel like myself again and the pain is subsiding. I just have to remember it was my decision to walk away from her, I miss her regardless of all the abuse. Gave my virginity to her and the first person I'd say I ever truly gave my heart to(true love). No regrets definitely upset about the virginity part though I was legitimately saving myself for marriage and she had me played for a fool that she was the one. I may have told her not to propose to me but I had every intention of marrying her just once we got to know each other more, it was way too early. I'm glad I'm a smart guy because waiting that extra time was one of the best decisions I ever made.

@robbrewer2036 10 ай бұрын

Saved yourself a lot of wasted time and trouble,hope life gets better for you.there are good women but just got to be carefully choosing.

@benkanobe7500 Жыл бұрын

Before I knew it wasn't me (recently after raising two children, going out of my mind, and 35 years of marriage....) I called it "Porcupine and Kittens". I never knew which it was going to be and when it was Kittens, I learned to be afraid because the devil would soon follow. She stole my life and pushed my kids from me. Only just a couple years ago I left the room and walked past an open window - the door had just shut and she was telling my kids why everything we had just talked about was wrong and I was an idiot. It came so easily from her I realized this must have been going on for a very long time. It blew my mind but explained a few things. She stole my life and nearly my mind. I don't want to be the bad guy and tell my kids my wife is sick (and has been for 34 years) but I now realize she has been programming them not to trust me and smearing me all these years. She has no boundaries and NOTHING is sacred. She has said things that no person should say to anyone even if they hate them. She has never felt bad about it and has never apologized. The kids are fair game and she uses them as tools.

@jeanninehill6009 Жыл бұрын

Ben, I just saw a quote from another KZfaq channel today (The Enlightened Target) that states, "If you have children with a sociopath, they will attempt, and many times succeed at alienating you from your children. Make no mistake, their goal is to rob you of everything you love. Turning your own children against you is the ultimate high". I'm so sorry for all that you have gone through. Always remember that God knows the truth and He will reveal it to your children one day.

@benkanobe7500 Жыл бұрын

@@jeanninehill6009 Thank you.

@snozrick Жыл бұрын

appreciate your videos lise, they always say this to me " just let it go" Not so easy when when its all you have known for many years, remember too these people are master manipulators.

@MainSupply7285 Жыл бұрын

And "Don't bring up the past" Not even yesterday.

@anthonyrist5626 9 ай бұрын

Spot on for me. 41 years married and she keeps calling me the narcissist. Living above my garage in an apartment because can't afford to divorce her. So we keep our distance. Thanks much for your Chanel. It has made me see things better.

@paradisefamilyvlogs3426 Жыл бұрын

Some people don't want to leave their kids 1/2 the time as they're defenseless against these psychopaths. Ur videos r helpful to support us as we go thru this.

@viewsfromthe7side171 Жыл бұрын

I’m in that problem now I want to leave but how do I leave my kids with her.

@pedrokarstguimaraes1096 Жыл бұрын

Lise, it can be very difficult, just because of own feelings. Lise, you’re always a step ahead, profound.

@Ashepnasty Жыл бұрын

My wife to a “T”. I’m so torn in this because of my daughter.

@michaelgpartridge2384 Жыл бұрын

Excellent tactical advice! Remembering that their attacks are not personal is such a tremendous challenge, but it is an essential tool for survival... this is about them and only them, on every level. Try and try and you will find out what “with ears to hear” really means.... these people develop “rubber eardrums”!!! Forget about pleading your case, you are only digging your hole deeper... thanks for another stellar video, Lise!

@blakcanis Жыл бұрын

Spot on. It never gets better. Staying with them just enables them to plot out their discard if they're picking up on you leaving them, especially if you have kids. Its amazing the extremes they'll go to, to destroy you. Good discussion🕊

@gerrychidiac1625 Жыл бұрын

This is wonderful advice. I am one year out of a narcissistic relationship and I’m so happy. Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl said, « Everyone has their own Auschwitz. » Read his book, Man’s Search for Meaning. What Lise is talking about is recognizing that you are in a « provisional existence with no limit » and developing tools to find meaning and get through. Thank you Lise!

@amyt7378 Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this I needed this today! I was spiraling down the emotional drain, and I am still trauma bonded… 4 months, no contact… Thank you so much 🙏

@snozrick Жыл бұрын

Feel you here . I spiral so hard omfg , I literally end up in panic attack wanting to reach out to them. Trauma bond is the hardest anyone can go through.

@amyt7378 Жыл бұрын

@@snozrick yes ugh! And it hits out of the blue

@snozrick Жыл бұрын

@@amyt7378 Your doing well 4 months is not long :) I'm one year since she left, however i been in constant contact and seen her many times :/ Difficult drug to quit

@brigittaspelthuis2343 Жыл бұрын

Cutting the trauma bond is the most important part of your process. After that , you are healed and it will not happen again with a possible next Narc. For this you need help and educate your self intensive . It is all a process. There are no short cuts. But this is after NO CONTACT , the most important issue in your process. I did 3 years now. I am healed. I Know what it means.

@amyt7378 Жыл бұрын

@@snozrick 🙏❤️

@michaelsilberg9059 Жыл бұрын

What's so powerful about your descriptions of the narcissist is the play-by-play. It's uncanny to hear what sounds like a concise and detailed description of what's happens. Not only do your videos validate the experiential understanding of the target, what seemed to be unique circumstances and dynamics are revealed to be common, formulaic and predictable.

@efthimios Жыл бұрын

This is so accurate what I sent through its scary. Especially how they will attack you if you stand up to them it’s terrible

@ManfredOnad Жыл бұрын

One aspect of existing (I use that term in all seriousness) with my narcissistic wife is that everyone we know just thinks she is a loving, giving, super hero type person. I say this because she really does treat everyone like she is in the early stage of narcissistic 'controlling' with them as you describe in your 10 steps video. Afterall she has me to herself 99% of my time to exert a 11+ year relationship and as such she can afford being in "early stages" with everyone else since I have become the number one whipping post to her driven phychosis. I finally confided in one of my Aunts who is out of state and my Aunt was totally shocked to hear that was the situation I was existing in with my wife. She was flabergasted!

@materioverda1655 Жыл бұрын

You're an angel, Lise. As for my I seriously entertained thoughts that I myself is a narcissist. My psychiatrist asked to take some tests and then explained to me the score and told me I'm not an NPD sufferer. Bus seriously, I'm still doubting it bec she's just probably being kind to me. I don't know.

@charlesterrell2507 Жыл бұрын

I have been in a six year relationship with a narcissist and she is about drove me crazy I have discovered you and your videos and they’re the best things I’ve ever watched this one explains everything to me I know what I need to do thank you so much continue the good work

@joannepierce2366 Жыл бұрын

Your videos are exceptional. As someone who survived being married to a covert narcissist I am impressed with all your videos, especially this one. It had been sooooo confusing. There was no information about Narcissism at that time. So thankful for all the information available now and you deliver it in such a clear, concise and understandable way. I recommend your videos to many of my friends and acquaintances. Many thanks from a survivor who experienced all you artfully describe. ❤

@alfredodoardi2717 Жыл бұрын

you're spot on in describing my wife, from the get go, Been married over 30 years, and the homeymoon was over quickly. I dread every day, but had figured out about 20 years ago, that it wasn't me with the faults. Thanks for the tips Doc, Signed, Trapped in NY.

@grahamabarnes 6 күн бұрын

I have seen this first hand, it crippled me financially and my self esteem is through the floor, I’m barely holding my job up.

@sototallyover2359 Жыл бұрын

I like how you point up to the link that's on the other side of the video. It's incredibly cute. You should have 100's of thousands subscriber's. Your content is that good and incredibly accurate.

@LiseLeblanc Жыл бұрын

Oops!!😂

@judevucovich7068 25 күн бұрын

48 yrs of marriage, and birth to 21 being raised by narcissistic mother and siblings. WoW I finally started to learn what to call the abuse, instead of always trying to prove and repeat the stories they deny. This is good. And worth sharing. Thank you for Lifting me Up Today 😊.. He chooses to stay, which I don’t understand b/c he discards me. What a prison cell for life, but I”m to old and like other’s have said would have to give up what I worked hard for so he could have it while he has taken me homeless with children, No way am I giving up my home. I learned how to deal with it and slap back. 😂 I get to laugh at the games and be strong enough to laugh out loud when they start. And believe me when you get over the hurt and shame of disregarded and thrown away but never leave b/c the girls throw him back as if I want him back lol no thank you. Just a crappy roommate with a piece of paper that means nothing. Just another day as he puts it. So it gets treated just like that. I like to celebrate another day, the day I let him go from my heart and trust. Just another untrusting friend…they never leave… and if they do they think they can just walk back in as if they left the room to escape the crap they started before they walked out of their reality… sorry no more pity for the fool or patiences.

@sk3ffingtonai Жыл бұрын

👏👏Been there, done that. One must leave the narcissist (if at all possible) or the consequences will likely be costly,. In martial arts training, we were always taught "Can't is the same as won't." I left and went no-contact just before the discard. Thank God for small favors. That was in 2014 and I still revel in the fact that I beat her to the punch. As it turns out, she married another dude about 30 days later and was divorced 2 or 3 months later. DUH. "Run, Forrest, Run..."

@hitokirir.s2689 Жыл бұрын

I got your vids as a suggestion around a week ago without even looking into the topic, even though I am currently going through most of these situations. I can’t thank you enough for shining some light and guidance, helping me come to a healthy decision for myself. You deserve more likes and subs, God bless you and thanks once again! 😎👍

@norbiealpanta3874 Жыл бұрын

I love how you advice. very realistic in the perspective of the person on the other end. The traumatized victim. Sometimes it's hard to detach from narcissist due to the long term diminished self- esteem. Thank you

@azv19 Жыл бұрын

Hi Lise, can you make a video about healing and growing into a better person after a cluster B relationship is over? This time I want to learn how to date again, trust people again, and set healthy boundaries that work at protecting myself but not scaring good people off

@JasonPacheco-wf8xe 4 ай бұрын

Please listen to the warnings, and please never tell them you know they are a narcissist or you have evidence of them cheating. After 10 years with my exgirlfriend who I'm positive she is at least a covert narcissist. And maybe a malignant narcissist. By the end of the relationship I was completely isolated and totally broken. No self esteem or self worth. I reached a point I didn't want to live. I blamed everything on myself and believed then it was menopause. Her gaslighting got so bad she did shit right in front of me and denied it and called me crazy. Everytime I'd reach a point to leave she would be Bice for 3 weeks or a month. When I realized she was actually having someone in the house while I was at work I told her I knew. She called the police filed false domestic abuse charges on I was off to jail. At 48 years old I had never even had the police called on me never mind ever putting my hands on a women. I grew up seeing that and lived my life despising men that put their hands on women. I was held no bail for 4 months. The first couple of times at court just trying to get bail the judge believe everything she said. Mind you their was no signs of me doing what she claimed. She was even caught liying about the main charge and it was dropped but still gave me no bail. Ultimately I knew unless I had alot of money for a good lawyer they viewed me as an abuser to this poor 53 year old grandmother. Narcissist know exactly how to fool people. He'll she fooled me for a decade. I also found out she had 37 convictions on her record for lying deceitful crimes. Theft fraud to steeling identity. Blows my mind how they took her word over mine. I plead guilty if I went to trial the da wanted 7.5 years for basically verbal threats and taking her phone out of her hand. I'm on 2 years probation with a gps ankle monitor. She kept over 20k of my possessions, worste then that my 2 little shitzu dogs I love. I can't thank you enough for your amazing videos you truly saved my life and gave me hope. Once I was able to accept it was never real and she never cared for me I could let go. It was one of the hardest things iv gone through. Now I have to focus on fixing myself. I didn't realize how much damage that has done. I live in constant vigilance and it's hard to trust anyone. I don't want to be this way she will win if I become miserable like her. Thank you again

@inanitas Жыл бұрын

Jesus I'm so glad that I am analyzing people and can't shut up. She discarded me, which resulted in me feeling like absolute garbage for MOTHS, questioning my reality, my personality and my worth as a human being. I was a neurotic mess trying to win her back. That girl was a textbook vulnerable narcissist. If I would've just tolerated her behaviour and if I wouldn't be a argumentative person she would've never broken up. I would've been trapped in that toxic up and down haze until my entire brain would've rotten away. To anyone who's in a relationship seeing this and wondering if their partner is a narc: *GET. OUT.* If you feel the need to research this because of your partners behaviour THEY ARE DANGEROUS. Safe people don't make you question their safety!!

@brigittaspelthuis2343 Жыл бұрын

Loving a Narcissist is a loosing game. If you are able, run and please seek for help who understand the disorder !! not just a therapist, please go therapy for cutting the trauma bond otherwise even you leave you still will be attached like an addicted person. Please go No contact on lifetime or if you have kids, grey rock method, even he or she is not violent. The manipulations injures your mental system , these are wounds you can not see . It is so hard to leave , it is so hard to go no contact , but it is your survival and strength for your kids . They are not a reason to stay. They need strong parents. You are not a good parent to excuse the narcissist and staying because of your children with them.

@RealBigCliff Жыл бұрын

Had a friend whose marriage of almost a decade was "on the rocks" and in came a narcissist woman to show him all the support and kindness and understanding his wife wasn't providing. She eventually pressured him to divorce, regularly crucifying him for taking so long to do so. When he finally did divorce, the narcissist moved away two days before it was finalized. He's a ruined man.

@InfernalDreamGuitar 10 ай бұрын

Same here

@rmmn7 Жыл бұрын

I totally agree ! On narc parents i am sure fear is one the most prominant factors when a person is not able to leave toxic narcissistic parents. As you stated this is because of years of psychological abuse which makea a person weak in mind and soul to leave those energy vampires who have been feeding on theie son/ daughter's energy as parasites for them to survive. I believe children of such parents should every moment pray to God and plan a way out Fast . Those parenta after practising narcissistic behaviours for years in their aging old age becomes most evil and could spoil their sons/daughter's life in any moment. A single minute stay with old narc parents is very risky. A person should believe and pray to God to not let the fear inflicted upon by the narcissistic parents to get depressed and not able to leave. With God's help and self help it is easy to leave such evil morher father any moment .

@hutch2 Жыл бұрын

This month will be our 5 year anniversary. We are currently living apart. My mind understands what I am experiencing...THANK YOU SO MUCH LISE but my heart We will spend this weekend together...first time in months...I am worried but thanks to all the education from Lise I am better equipped to dodge bullets... I hope and pray. I also realize my actions determine my future

@anthonyrist5626 6 ай бұрын

Lisa. One of your videosad to stop watching and move on, but i can't help but watching. I learn more on every video, thank you for that. This one fits my situation closely. We got together at 16 years old. Ran away from our dysfunctional families together, and never seen it coming in the 45 years together. I told 2 years ago when things were turning bad that i though we had the most wonderful life together, and i did, her response was " i was making it look good for 40 years" it felt like i got hit with a brick. And added " if i wasn't so desperate i never would have gone out with you" she has yet taken it back. Yes im stuck right now because I want to divorce her but feel sorry for her because i was always the bread winner and i fear she will struggle without me financially. At the point where i hope i don't see tomorrow.

@kshay1394 10 ай бұрын

Its hard to leave but at leastcwe habe a chance at LIFE. To stay only guarantees more of the same. For me at least, its like the movie Groundhog Day, same 'arguments' every other day. The days between are usually silent treatment. Glad to know im not the only one in 'bizarro-land' or whatever one would call my existence. Prayers and strengths to my fellow survivors. Or soon to be.. 🤞🧡🙏🏼

@leftymagoo2710 6 ай бұрын

Yes, what you say is truth in fact. I met my narc 34 years ago. Sadly, I am still living in her reality. However, I have learned to be more aware of the narc’s tactics. An Australian therapist Mel Tonia Evan’s coined the “CRAP” term of a narc’s behavior. Criticism Rejection Abandonment Punishment. There is a chronic repetition of these 4 behaviors. Mine occur in 2week cycles. Thank you .

@DarthIckus 7 ай бұрын

I lived the narcissistic abused lifestyle for a decade before I realised what was going on. I did some research and through several twists of fate, I ended up realising that the abuse had little if anything to do with me personally, and that I AM "good enough". My idea of self was shattered by this time and I had no idea of who I was anymore. I am in a situation where leaving is not a realistic option. I use the experience to rebuild myself into the person I want to be, which especially includes learning to catch mind games and subtle abuse on the fly and how to not react to it or take it to heart like I did previously for far too long. If nothing else, I stand up for myself without defending myself now, where I would have cowered and let people walk all over me before.

@nemziii200 Жыл бұрын

I kept going back, because i love her, she made me co dependant without knowing, im broken down and have suffered 20 years of torment and i do not trust anybody, more so women, im now done with them and im not going to be sucked in by there sweetness, women can be just as evil as men they just do it differently

@limitless2813 Жыл бұрын

i lost my sense of self its horrible oh god its horrible i dont wreckonize my self have trust issues doubt my self not good for anyone you said it perfectly

@waragainstmyself1159 Жыл бұрын

I have 4 children with a covert narc wife. I remember after we had 2 kids, one day i noticed with absolute clarity.. This woman has no personality at all. I realized she mirrored way back then, but didnt know what NPD was. Now im 4 kids into it, shes done 2 discards and imploded our family multiple times. We are broke, in section 8 housing with zero possible life goals because nothing matters when living with one of these black holes. Its day by day. She implodes any progress. I tried multiple home businesses only for her to sabotage it. If she cant outright sabotage the job, she will mess with my sleep, I cant work a full time job because this lunatic will stay up till 3am with my youngest, slamming into the door while she keeps enabling it. I can rant for hours, but the point is, they live their life by sapping any of yours. She thinks she is winning, when she does damage to our family. I guess they dont realize this also ruins them in the process and they too are poor? Its insane, and ill never get out from under her. She used family court to ruin me last time i tried to get away, and my covert narc father purposely sabotaged me while i was staying out there. I gave up, and was sick of seeing my kids get manipulated. My son was so depressed he was breaking my heart. I couldnt take it anymore, and i came back. So ill take it. I have now begun to discuss NPD, the behaviors, and what to look out for. So if you have read all of this, know there is a silver lining. I now workout, and live as if she was a ranting child not to be taken seriously. My kids are now versed about narcissism and my oldest actively researches it. If the cycle will not break with me, my children will break it!

@rangerbill7077 Жыл бұрын

Lived it for 3.5 years....Wow!!!..I feel so Lucky that I got out....I went through all of this...& was constantly told I was the problem...it hurt so bad...I gave her so much love...still recovering...but I invest in these videos everyday... Thank You & God Bless 12:04

@22Too Жыл бұрын

Thank you for being so direct and clear about these important matters.

@alex_ya_boi4959 Жыл бұрын

thank you Lise. Your insights are invaluable 🙏

@kennethrogers3687 Жыл бұрын

I told my very difficult aunt that I was learning about narcissist and how to handle them. She told me that I was waisting my time. She spends her time watching horror movies. Who do you think uses their time more wisely? What can you learn from horror movies? I can master my anti narcissistic skills why she's watching someone getting stabbed to death? Women confuse me. What are they thinking? Thanks for the videos. Your great! Bye

@cdorothy444 Жыл бұрын

She’s a narcissist 😂maybe. They don’t want you to know who they are

@kennethrogers3687 Жыл бұрын

@@cdorothy444 possibly, I also suspect possible BPD. Yikes. Stay safe.

@Brian-qg9bm 6 ай бұрын

I've been married to a covert narcissist for almost 20 years. I'd have left with the shirt on my back a long time ago, but we have two autistic kids that I'm not willing to walk away from. I had been trapped in Dante's second level of domestic Hell until recently. Thanks to videos like this one, I've made it out of the building and into Hell's parking lot. At least there's fresh air and sunshine out here. Thank you Lise, for turning the light on. It's a great thing you do.

@Ivan-bf2jx Жыл бұрын

"Endless arsenal of weapons of psychological mass destruction" 😂 sounds funny but, unfortunately and sadly, it's so much true! They are really good at what they do. It goes beyond ones wildest imagination. I would just add that the weapons are also super stealth.

@VereniceK Жыл бұрын

If anyone still has any doubts about whether leaving is the best option or not, check out the current case about how Kouri Richins killed her husband once he was of no more use to her. Poor man, ignored the red flags for too long.

@goldenwarrior5664 Жыл бұрын

Had 2 kids with my narc of 25 years u tube video's like this saved my life . Thank you

@rhondacooper7957 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your video it's educational and informative. ❤

@polskatoja 10 ай бұрын

Ur content is GOLD!!! Sharing your knowledge has helped me understand what is truly going on. My findings are not an “Overnight” realization of what it is. It’s been years but now it’s all clear…I still struggle with denial but ur videos give me a sense of acceptance and clarity and that’s a great start towards recovery … Please continue doing ur amazing work by educating us and keeping the lite ON in the end of that dark tunnel…♥️💯

@polskatoja 10 ай бұрын

#truth #hope #understanding #free

@InfernalDreamGuitar 10 ай бұрын

Wish I knew this channel an year ago... Whenever I try to speak up my mind to my gf, no matter how calm and respectful I might be, she always lashes out at me. After a huge fight we had, she started devaluing me, gaslighting me and telling me that "you're too sensitive". She even considers my simple requests as "putting pressure on her" or "controlling her" or "no trusting her enough". If she's moody ffs reason, she devaluates me. After love bombing me in the first phase and imagining a future with me, she recently told me that she hates women who are "dependent on their relationship with their significant other". She put pressure on me to divorce, giving me a deadline. She showered me with support, kindness and confidence. She told me about what a hard life she lived full of childhood trauma and what an asshole her ex was... I left a beautiful, smart and wise wife and home for this woman. Too late now...

@bigchun420 Жыл бұрын

So basically....im screwed 😔

@samscott54 6 ай бұрын

You are a Godsend. Thank you so much. Learning so much

@MrChristhess Жыл бұрын

It has come to my clear and sustained attention that most Speakers/Influencers on the Internet, even Experts and "Victims" of Narcs talking about Narcissists/NPD present them, without always saying it loud, as "ennemies" to fight some way or another, while ALL admitting at the same time that this personality disorder has its roots in the Narc's childhood & past marked/wounded by shame, low self-esteem, excessive parental/social control, or even abuses in some cases... Thus masked by the Narc's arrogance, lack of empathy, always looking/craving for attention and higher self-esteem by controling, manipulating or even consciously hurting others. (Obviously as a twisted yes but definitely real anticipative mental defence mechanism). Therefore aren't our Society and Health Professionals in this field obviously misplacing one of the fundamentals of the NPD diagnostic while putting aside the obvious cure? How can we be fighting the wrong by the wrong? Most are saying that there's no cure to this disorder. My most recent research and understanding of this more-common-than-thought disorder is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE/ACCEPTANCE. Have you ever wondered WHY this so recurrent and so well known & observed Narcissist & Empath Relationship/Interaction? The Narcissist is actually asking the Empath to go the extra mile to prove his/her sincerity... So the Narcissist could also reverse the phase and now consider being freely an Empath 100%.

@georgeapostolopoulos1908 11 ай бұрын

Sharing your knowledge is pure treasure. Huge thank you!

@janissaandus9014 7 ай бұрын

you just described everything I've been through 100% like howwwww did you know that all ???????

@Socoolral Жыл бұрын

Hello Lise, I decided to erase my original comment. Anyway, thanks for the video and looking forward to watching a new one. Stay healthy and safe inside your body🤙🏼😉

@LiseLeblanc Жыл бұрын

Oh I missed your original comment

@Socoolral Жыл бұрын

@@LiseLeblanc I had been driving and I was at a stop so I wanted to ask if a narcissist can dupe another narcissist or do they just argue and fight amongst each other?

@mousetreat 4 ай бұрын

After watching your videos I’m starting to doubt if I am the narcissist. She always accused me of all these things. And now she dumped me to “protect herself”. I’m going crazy. She being a psychologist herself has some serious issues and when your video on Covert Narcissist found me, It ticked all the boxes in her behavior except that she is blaming ME of all that.

@AtomicMosquito Жыл бұрын

@liseleblanc your videos are the clearest videos on the subject around. Thank you, you have helped my understanding greatly.

@arielalejandro6900 10 ай бұрын

thanks for taking your time making all these videos I watched them all and you practically describe my emotional adult life, I don't blame them I have a lot of self improvement work to do. Thanks again

@peterbrody3338 Жыл бұрын

A comment for comment's sake. thank you Lise.

@limitless2813 Жыл бұрын

jeeze you describbed me pretty well in this oh my goodness

@MrGearoid65 Жыл бұрын

I admitted to things I hadn't even done to assuage the Narcissist ego. I took the blame. Now they want to come back and be friends, saying we can create new memories and (conveniently) forget past memories. I love this person so much but I can't afford to allow them to destroy me AGAIN no matter how much I love them. 😮

@jamieleigh807 9 ай бұрын

I know my partner is a covert narcissist and I feel as though I’m completely stuck. I love him so much I left him five years ago and I went back due to desperation and now I have been caught up in this for 7 months. I feel totally confused because I know he is destroying me inside, I’ve lost myself, I’ve lost motivation, direction, self worth, happiness and it’s been replaced by the exact opposite. I am always sad, I cry every single day and multiple times, I feel hopeless and trapped. No matter how bad I feel I just can’t leave him because I feel like I need him. No matter how hard things get or what he does or says, how badly he treats me I can’t imagine my life without him in it. It’s like a curse that has ye grips on me and I’m so low from fighting him all the time that I just don’t even want to go on in this life anymore. Does anyone know how to break free from this because I seriously want to stop feeling this way. I’ve tried no contact and it’s like literally withdrawal symptoms. I wait for him to show up in any way and as soon as he does i feel relief because I feel almost obsessed with him. How do I begin to be more obsessed with myself

@KentPatriot 6 ай бұрын

The hard answer is, they won't change. You will be treated worse as time goes on and your natural reactions to it will be framed to paint you as the bad person. You will never get back what these people steal from you. For example, that state of bliss you once felt with them - it's not coming back. Or that complete trust in them - no, that trust is irreparably damaged. Like me, it sounds like you are struggling to escape a trauma bond - I wish I'd known 20 years ago what all the behaviours were. I hope you find peace and love one day 🙏

@patrickmugisha2691 Жыл бұрын

Thank you this is so deep. Your more than medication.. communicated to me sharply

@50lbhead30 Жыл бұрын

So there is no way for these people to ever come to terms with themselves? Ever? Just helplessly broken?

@AnAussieinNorway Жыл бұрын

Excellent video again

@zandig666 Жыл бұрын

This perfectly describes a couple girls I've dated frustration beyond human comprehension thanks Lisa I can usually beat them at their own game but I had one discard me before we had time to smash 😁😁

@michaelking4578 Жыл бұрын

Thanks be to God I was discarded. Otherwise I'd still be in the dark on what I was dealing with and I'd still be living in chaos.

@zeejay_ Жыл бұрын

I m in a relationship with a very narcissistic woman myself and I have tried to overcome these mind games and tactics played by a narcissistic is I simply listen to all her shit wat ever she has to say she devalue abuse crush my self worth I simply agree and don't even bother to reply back. Don't reply when such a personality disorder person tries to take control don't let them take control over you. I suggest that the more u give explanation the more they will provoke you. In such a case just remain calm don't loose ur cool and God has given you two ears listen from one and kick it out from the other. The moment you take those words to your mind boom u are trapped. So relax and keep calm and don't respond at all in such situations. Be very clear don't try to isolate urself from your family and friends no matter how hard the narcissist tries to isolate you.

@stephaniehall6309 8 ай бұрын

But when you don’t respond, sometimes they will get worse and hit you or more so be mindful

@zeejay_ 8 ай бұрын

@@stephaniehall6309 you are right but just by saying yes in everything you can make things work. I mean to say don't argue with them

@richardleetbluesharmonicac7192 Жыл бұрын

You really need an escape plan. When you call out a narcissist, its nuclear war.

@Trapanzano100 Жыл бұрын

They have no filter.

@ForGodandKeiki Жыл бұрын

Thank you. You speak so much truth.

@DevonFine-mz8cu Жыл бұрын

I had to work for 2 days very hard work.... I was excited to get home....she hardly acknowledged me... she walked up to acting like she was so busy. Then to make even more devalued she pat me on the head.......I said what the heck is that!!!??? You patted me on the head? She shrouded and walked away....

@standardyeepz 6 ай бұрын

my mother has made me completely dependent on her.. i have a very serious heart condition and i’m afraid she tried killing me this past month. i don’t know what to do guys im legit scared. she’s ruined my reputation and nobody believes me. she had me committed already once.

@dennistate5953 Жыл бұрын

Suggestion opening theme music: Unknown Hinson: "Devil in a Thong." Music only no vocals til asked, then private msg answer. New Merriam Webster entry: Diatch. All you, Lise. Praying for everything in your world. You are an emotional airborne EMT hero of the fatherland.❤

@theguynextdoor4978 Жыл бұрын

"However you feed a wolf, she will always look to the forest. -Anton Chekhov. ". In other words, a narcissist will do what a narcissist does best. It's in their psyche and nature.

@user-fk8rb8ue5h Жыл бұрын

What are you have to realise it a narc doesn't change. So you either like it or lump it. The most difficult part is the trauma bond but at the end of the day, well, let's just say I had a lucky escape

@snozrick Жыл бұрын

100% however its hard to accept you can't fix them when you always wanna see good in people . The sad thing is , is that for cluster B disorders the remission rate is really high with good treatment but NARC's will never accept they have a issue , does not fit into their mindset.

@Keepswimming....123 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video! 🫶🫶

@MegaMavX 7 ай бұрын

@lise Can you do a video on comorbid NPD/BPD and what that would look like in an individual? Thank you for considering.

@mra1976 11 ай бұрын

Ugh, I'm watching all your videos around NPD and just sick to my stomach for what I realize now that have been intensifying over the last 3 months. Would it be abnormal for the Love and sex bombing to happen for 2 years and then suddenly stop as soon as she moves in? Or does that phase occur until they have you locked in? For the last 6 months, it's always been something since moving in, but nothing is improving, and when I bring up 'issues," I feel like gaslighting is increasing. Leading me to this video and all the others. Also, while calling out gaslighting in our argument last night, I immediately felt like I was gaslighting by calling it out. It's a cruel, cruel wrath that I have a keen eye on, and I'm watching intently. Great videos! the straightforward way you describe all of this is so very helpful.

@faymoosa5064 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for the advice ❤

@rostamr4096 Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Lisa

@ramikiwan9981 7 ай бұрын

Get out. Get out. No matter how hard it is at first. Get out, focus on yourself, seek help and therapy, and you'll bounce back.

@melaniemills5255 Жыл бұрын

After any argument my ex would shout at me call me a cunt or an idiot , dickhead , clown any verbal insult he could Then he would leave me and go away for 6 days to 2 weeks Give me the silent treatment I have been feeling he’s been discarded me He leaves comes back Makes me believe he loves me and says all the right words to reel me back into believing him Then he’ll go away again