Yes! The pandemic allowed me to let go of many!

Politics consists out of 90% of these people

The narcissist friend. That's the toughest one to let go of. That's the one that you confide to and they mirror you at that point. Then when the chips are down, here they come with everything they supposedly supported you on, hitting you over the head with THAT as a sledgehammer with. The biggest give-away of all things for me? Something that almost seems petty. This is one that I had gone no contact with a few times. The way they snapped at me to close their bathroom door, made me realize that this is the tip of the iceberg that's been there all along like I suspected. That if they're talking that way to me to my face as much of a friendly fake mask as they tried to put on at that moment, God knows how they're talking about me or to who behind my back? I have not been back since. I'm trusting my intuition on this one. Done. Just finally DONE with the cognitive dissonance I felt over the last two years or so

@@AZDC99 It's like the snap or the scream is almost designed to be both an outburst for them and so out of the blue that the person on the other end can't believe this is really the other person and it's some kind of anomaly and will put up with it - which is part of the narcissists conditioning process to make you put up with their outbursts. Unless you're educated in narcissists and then you just see a massive red flag or just call it then and there that for you they are not a safe person.

So true!

My former friend. She used to use this line on me. I got so sick of listening to her puff her chest out while pretending to be some hugely intellectually gifted individual, that one day, I told her to pull her head out of her ass before she choked on all this shit that she was so full of. She laughed like an idiot before she realized that I had insulted her. Seriously, it was like she was on a taped delay. I often commented that if it rained brains, she would stay dry. Anyone who has to repeatedly mention how smart or in tune with their emotions they are, usually are neither of those things. My former friend was no exception to this rule. Despite having a four-year college degree, she couldn't even spell simple grade school level words correctly and would often use words incorrectly or claim a word wasn't a word. For example, she spelled repeatedly positive as posative (“spell check didn't catch it!” She could not grasp that her virtual keyboard on her phone would remember commonly used phrases she would type into it even if they were misspelled or grammatically incorrect), she thought crucial and cruel meant the same thing and vehemently declared that helm was not a word. Even simple conversations with her turned into heated debates because she had to get the last word. It was very exhausting being around her. I cut off all contact with her more than eight years ago and now she's someone else's problem.

That’s my wife

EXACTLY!!!

My covert narcissist ex told me early on she was an empath and that is why her narcissist husband chose her as a victim. I'm sure you can deduce the plot twist that came next. :)

​@@piotrdubiel7214 that sounds exactly like my recent covert ex of 2 years

Soon to be ex wife is doing this. Running over to the neighbors when I get home because I'm a narcissist and controlling so she can't be around me as I go into my 5th wheel in the driveway. Then she gets drunk with them comes back and yells at me saying she is going to commit suicide and pay guys to come over and get in my face, then tells me i dont know how this divorce feels also I took away all her dreams. Then says how she is afraid of what I'm going to do to her. So now that I moved my trailer, F trying to save money. She now is being all nice and normal since she can bring her boyfriend over anytime. I honestly felt like she was going to try something that I will not interact with her without video recording of any conversion.

@@rizin2213 It sounds like you are in a world of pain, take care of yourself.

This sounds exactly like my covert ex. It took me so long to see the slight changes over time. But she was exactly the same as you described. Seemed very nice to everyone else and she never got comfortable with my friends or family. Even to the point where my sisters pointed out she was more distant towards the end than closer. In the meantime I was getting close to her family and her nephews and nieces. Thats honestly what was the hardest part of leaving her and going no contact was i had to do it with her family too and I really liked them. But they were probably enablers unfortunately

sounds like my ex always. Like something makes then crack and they become someone else all of sudden.

The reply of AlanForde- Cheyne reflects exactly my experience; the only difference is that I have 30 years more experience. They get worse with age.

I lived this exactly .A nightmare.

This is the truth

You're so on point! The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg. It's changing my life 🥰

My former friend. I wanted to help her do better, but she was a lost cause because she adamantly refused to admit that she was the one, the common denominator, the root cause of all of her problems. I could name close to 50 people whom she alienated with her toxic ways. I'm sure my former friend barely remembers even a fraction of these people or me, by teaching herself to forget that we all ridded ourself of her or, a more likely scenario, she tells flipped tales in which we were all the butthole and she is the perpetual victim. Tragically, narcissists will never ever change because they don't think they are the problem. That's the downside to free will. They have to have the inherent desire to turn over that new leaf and not give up when the going gets rough. That's another thing I've noticed is a very big trait in narcissism: apathy and lethargy. Specifically with the covert type. While I will always remember how my former friend treated me, I don't hate her anymore, but I do pray for her. Maybe one day she'll get a clue. Then again, that's about as likely as one of the Kardashians winning an Oscar.

YES!

@@cgc1581 The golden advice I got from the great Dr Ross was in a "Covert Narcissist" video of his. Spoiler alert: he says to quietly walk away. (Almost alien to when repressed hurt finally has a chance to express itself while walking out the door, but he's totally right from his own experience that these people have "too much to lose" to not let you get out the door "unscathed.")

That’s definitely not your fault. Humans can be so cruel. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Hope you get treated much better in the future.

how about Lise Leblanc herself? Could you tell if she is surely isn't a narcissist? Or another personality disorder..

Yea it's so evident, that you're left wondering how you got mindfucked for so long. For me, her whole game was clearly just to spark a reaction, so why would I keep trying to make sense out of it? I knew she would lie or deny or distort, and then start the story from me being irritated at this present moment. That's always the game, there is never intellectual honesty involved. And she's satisfied when I react. I could try to keep my cool and ignore her, but she would get as nasty as it would need to spark something soon after anyway. Yet I kept going in that circle for years.

She discarded me. I'm going through the withdraw from her but getting slowly better. She made me feel like the shell of the person that I once was. I was down depressed.

100%

My ex was like this. She used buy them nice stuff and act like the cool aunty

That gaslighting still not too long after they find out exactly what their motive was. But they've been love bombed so badly that they'll stick with tolerating the sweet/mean cycle like I used to years ago

Future faking is something my ex did alot. Like we will be together and that we would settle down apparently that would resolve all our issues when reality that isn't the truth. Then she would gas light me to say that it was my fault for saying that I gave her flase impressions. When all I said is let's see where our relationship goes..

Well said! This exact thing happened in my marriage to a covert.

Yup happened to me too she got extremely violent if I queried a contradictory odd behaviour or trying to freak out our son which was just wrong and weird like at Halloween it's scary to whisper in your ear lots of things ring alarm bells feel strange compared to what undamaged people say and act .For them it means a course in therapy but has any cn sought therapy .I would guess some would rather commit suicide and admit to the flaws which is what is happening in this world right now .Mother's are killing their children or dads then killing themselves I wonder why but there's a weird surge in mother's doing this right now it's really quite sad and tragic and scary .God bless all .

Yes, absolutely!

Because they are cheaters who abuse CHILDREN

We all have some low level narcissistic traits and may not be a narcissist. When the narcissistic traits dominate our behaviour to become inappropriate all the times, then you may be a narcissist.

@@edwinswift2646 Most people are selfishly motivated,it’s difficult to think of anything we do in life that isn’t directly or indirectly selfish.I think when someone deliberately sets out to destroy another person for what ever reason, then you clearly see the narcissist.These days we’re extremely quick to label people with popular traits,without spending enough time with them to be sure they are what we think they are.I do appreciate and understand what your saying.

@@howardhdavidson Everyone is narcissistic. Like any personality trait or defect, narcissistic tendency is a bell curve spectrum. Some people are very low on the spectrum and some very high. Everyone else falls in middle somewhere. Having just gone through an intensely narcissistic abusive relationship with my ex wife, I have been learning about this in depth for a couple of months. I think the biggest indicator of a true narcissist is extremely exploitive and entitled behavior. For example, my wife (now ex) started an affair with another man before we had even separated. I started to realize that she found true joy in my pain. In one conversation she started and forced, she kept asking about my pain. Without provocation or me even asking any questions, she blurted out that she had had sex with him in our marital bed. After she said that, she couldn't hold back her smirk even though she was trying to play off the conversation as genuine concern for my well being. Highly narcissistic people, or what people may just flat out diagnose as people with NPD or "narcissists", will exploit you to make themselves feel better no matter the cost. They feel entitled to act whatever way necessary to get what they feel they want, need, and deserve no matter how bad it may hurt the other person. So, it's true that everyone is narcissistic to some degree. But not everyone is a narcissist. (Edit: me talking about the subject like I'm some sort of expert is an example of one of my narcissistic tendencies. Not an expert on the matter... Just sharing my opinion based on what I've learned recently.)

@@edwinswift2646 I could be wrong, but I do think if someone shows the narcissistic traits daily and not once in a while, they may be a narcissist.

@@Dj.D25 Agree, but someone will the skills of Lise Leblanc is required to formally determine if a person is a narcissist or a fledging narcissist,

They get upset when someone else hurts us, but they can’t own their own behavior.

As long as it's family abusing me it still ok 6 decades long... I'm the Escaped Goat❤

They can definitely feel empathy, typically, although with grief it often seems to centre on feeling sorry for themselves, what they have lost. My mother felt empathy to her children and my son when we were very small, then lost it as we got older

How did you uncover her? I think my girlfriend may be one.

@@GG-mx9fj She was always the victim in her stories of past romantic or workplace relationships. Passive aggressive, entitled, petty, spoiled and immature. Cold. A bottomless pit sucking your life energy day by day. If she turns out to be one, just leave her and go NO CONTACT. You can never change those people and life's too short to be wasted on someone so self absorbed and incapable of loving.

Dang you found out in 2 weeks, took me 6 years!

Haha, me too. Looking back I should have said nothing about all the tactics. What I also noticed was how some of the stuff she did seemed to be 'learned' from her previous relationships. Like she made some mistake back then and got corrected by her partner. Learning from it and taking the lesson to all new relationships afterwards. But there was something off, my intuition told me it was fake learned behavior. Anything but genuine.

you are so correct, One and Only. But please, do not let this (correct) outlook spoil your noble nature. the devils are not worth it. thank you for sharing your thoughts. Let's count our blessings, of which there are still many. one if those being able to recognize what goes on in the sick minds if narcs.

​ @Gabrielle Aumont No problem. Hope it was helpful and reaffirming and complementary to Lisa's videos. Lisa does a very job at exposing these selfish foxes. Do you have experience with the Dark Triad gang? If so, just know that it's never about you. It's all about them. They are the problem. Ironically, the void they can't seem to "foolfill" is the very thing that's bigger than their ego which explains the term narcissistic supply. I'm quite lucky myself to stay out of their crosshairs or they stay out of mine. They don't like challenges, they like easy victims. But as an example if I were to get duped by them and lose money in a business deal it would be a lot better then losing my life. I forgot to write that invisibility or covering who they are with masks is what makes them so dangerous. Work on yourself to be the best you can be but always know that you are good enough and capable enough and smart enough as you are right now. Not tomorrow, not yesterday or only if you had something or someone that is currently out of reach then you would be enough. When you have both these two firmly under your belt meaning a strong and healthy self-esteem and self-confidence, you are now integrated. You are now bulletproof. Most. if not all victims of the Dark Triad gang are low self-esteemed and insecure men and women or the opposite: very confident and self-loving but still somehow the bastards manage to break you down and bring you down but I say don't let them. Nobody pisses on me because I don't piss on nobody else. They do that because they truly believe you would do the same to them given the chance or opportunity. The insults, degradations and hurtful words thrown at you from The Dark Triad gang won't matter because you know you are worthy enough and can walk away if you happen to be in a relationship with one of the Dark Triad personalities. Don't argue with them, let them keep the furniture or whatever and most importantly don't engage them and let them think they have won. In reality, they lost you and you won your life back but they can't see that because their head is so far up their asses. Unless there is some serious trauma bond or you share children together then yes it's tricky. Enjoy your life :D

It's a fact we will get manipulated and it's very sad. We will get betrayed. We will get hurt. But it's not good for our souls to be playing their game. For myself, I stick with my spirituality. Sometimes I cry in prayer but I feel comforted. To me all this stuff is a spiritual battle. I win by sticking with my morals.

@@blahblahblah4544 The worst thing they can do to you beside violence is to make you mistrust and hate others. If you are a woman, it's men. If you are a man then it's women. Don't let one toxic Asshole or toxic bitch convince you that all others are the same trash. Take care

People with CPTSD are often taken as narcissist due to their emotional deregulation (disregulation?). Empaths get the so-called, narcissistic fleas by co-living with narcissists; nobody gets out of hell untouched.

Right? I was thinking the same thing. Who else feels like a narcissist after watching this video? Yikes!

Yeah the "they can love animals" part got to me. I'm like, f__k me, am I a narcissist and a dismissive avoidant?

Do you guys have any empathy? If not there’s your answer…

We all have traits. Some are more then others because they lose touch with themselves. To self reflect and take accountability means you saw poor behaviors and strive to correct them.. A narc acknowledges poor behavior but refuses to correct it unless it gets them the supply they want.

She must be fooling her couple rather well, you mean. Don't be too hard on yourself; you are not the only one who has been fooled. There are tons of comments of abused people in KZfaq; just imagine how many people don't know who they are dealing with.

Get out while you can man! You can do it. It will probably be hard in the short term but it will be so much better for your spiritual health to be out of that situation. Sorry if this is obvious. Just hope you can get out and treated right soon.

I think people learn manipulative tactics to get by in life.

Everyone has narcissistic tendencies, this does not make you a narcissist however....

wendigo

Narcs don't have empathy. They cannot put themself in the shoes of someone with a different/opposite perspective. They are rigid and fixed-minded. The narc I know actually claimed to be an empath... in reality, she merely assumed everybody else "felt" the same as she did.

My gf also told me she’s an INFJ personality type, ‘the most rare personality’ turns out she’s just a covert narcissist

@@derekmarks8969 exactly. he bragged that only 1 or 4 per cent are that... whatever. i took a "test" and found out i probably was one, too. difference is, he's a pathological liar! ha! hope you went no contact. they really should "read from a playbook" given how "cookbook" they all are!

Same with my mother except for introducing a man while my father was dying. She has fooled everyone and I can't take her mask off.

Try loving yourself; he will hate it. I tell you this because the longer you stay trauma-bonded, the harder will be your recovery and believe me; they don't let you go until you're useless to them.

@@Lyrielonwind yes I did start a couple years into therapy and left him as of last year.