Kim Sikorski wise words I put this to my now ex many years back, I think she has a hard time understanding that love changes and needs work

I dont know, that could be wrong too

Falling in love is an emotion, loving is an act of will, no one can keep an emotion alive forever, what we need to work is in the platform of limerance, to decide if we want to love this person and work every day in that decision....

hello! please can you reply and give me an opinion: My relationship was growing! Now I wanna share with you a little of what happened. We are really committed to each other we have a 3 years old relationship (not perfect with a lot of effort and love). I met him 4 years ago though. Our relationship was struggling since a conflict we were carrying from mistake he made in the past. But at the same time we were growing in presence as u describe in your comment we went through the honeymoon and then i actually thought that our relationship was getting stronger. Unfortunately since we have not seen each other in 1 year cuz this covid shit has my partner in another country I am gonna share what happened. I met an stranger and i felt something (love and that heart bumping) with a conversation with this stranger (since then i felt emotionally gone with my partner, i never did anything with the stranger). My partner and me were carrying a problem and i guess distance made me look for that need in another person (the conversation with the stranger) but i felt a beyond connection. Now i never saw and i dont want to see the stranger again even though my soul was craving for it.I try to not think ab that guy since it is past! (1 month ago) BUT that does not mean i dont wanna save my 3 years old relationship that cost us a lot of love and effort! now my partnef is connected but i felt emotionally disconnected (or not “in love” towards my partner)since the moment i met this stranger. Now i want to reconnect with my partner again cuz i have built this relationship with a lot of effort, love and patience. But distance was not a problem until this incident happened. Actually (one year being apart is probably what we are missing) He loves me a lot and he is planning to come to see me again this February is the best he can do. I just hope to feel that emotional bond again. Otherwise i would feel really sad, and everyday that passes i feel more far away from him. I dont wanna pay attention to the hopeless thoughts and feelings. I really dont know what to do since i have lost the interest on my partner. It doe not feel the same anymore. It is sad the thought of leaving an amazing human being that loved u a lot. I also was in love and i had the spark. Sometimes i hate the fact i met this new person.

@@alondraacosta-mora6504 just means u dont love your man and your unloyal to him if a stranger can turn your head 👍

How did it turn out

She told me that

She told me that after 10 years and I’m literally broken now.

My ex girlfriend told me this 3 months ago when she decided to leave me, a week before she made her decision she told me “i love you and i want all the good things in life with you, we can make this work” a week went by and idk what happened in that week but she did a complete 180 and left me over the phone. When she said that to me my soul and a piece of me literally left my body and i dont think ill ever get that piece of me back again. The pain has been something that i never could have imagined having to endure

​@@PVHORNETS59😢

😂😂😂😂👍🏻👍🏻

😂😂😂

💀

😂😂😂😂😂

Give it time man

2 months is nothing!

Lol dramatic

Mate, as the others said, 2 month's is not enough to take her decisions as any certainty or confirmation just yet. I had my ex come back after 6 months from the same reason, and i actually begged for a few weeks after the breakup. I know every situation is different, but i would just give it time.

Unknown J really? How are things now did she apologize? Are y’all on each other’s social media?

That is true.

Why did you dump him?

Spychu1993 loss of attraction, I felt like there was no spark.

Win Ch and now you feel like you were wrong? Why did you think that?

Daniel Cruz I came to realize that I can’t live without him. I miss him so bad. Now I can only hope that he will give me a chance. Things turn around, he now has all the power and I’m the one who has to beg. But I learned from the past that it’s not the way to go. When he begged me, I only wanted to go away from him more. So I made it clear that I want to fix things and I’m doing NC on him rn. I really have faith in it! Hope this is helpful!

Chuck Schuldiner how are you doing now ?

Similar thing for me. And like you, I have great taste in music ;) I saw her at a Slayer show shit drunk and high with another dude. Wasn't the best way to see Slayer's last show even if I made the most of the great pit action.

Keep ya head up homie

it can just happen sometimes. sometimes people, as you said, wake up and not feel anything. sometimes, and usually it’s over longer time but clearly not in your case, people start thinking and realizing that maybe they just aren’t happy. one thing i disagree with in the video is that “it’s not you it’s me” or “i need to work on myself” is bullshit. because it’s not always that case. that could be genuinely how you’re feeling and that’s the only way you know how to express it. but whatever the case may be, i’m sorry for what happened dude, i really am. but sometimes people do genuinely fall out of love and this video loves to amplify the small reality that most people are lying or using you as a backup. people genuinely do just fall out of love. it’s an unfortunate but real circumstance. good luck with whatever happened, i hope you feel better now

u still alive chuck? i thought u had brain tumor

Right, the honeymoon stage is usually Limerence. See myexbackcoach.com/what-is-limerence/

Is love and infatuation different?Can infatuation turn into love MrQuagmire26?

Better to be single until you find the right one who will stick around.

It's their job to be hores... It's all they know.. Not your fault....

Same thing my wife said on July 8th after 14 years together. I had been with her since I was 19. Every month since she’s texted me once or twice a month and says “hey how are you doing?” I’ve only replied to her texts never texted her first. The weird thing is though she has a new boyfriend and has changed her status on Facebook to “in a relationship”. Broke my heart again when I seen that.

don't give hope on marriage because of her. There will come someone who won't cheat on u and leave you like that

@@margauxbonnardot7173 Dont give him false hope Let him find his truth

Don’t give up on marriage because someone didn’t want it.

Same happened to me. Don't go back in too fast. Make them feel the loss.

I am so sorry. These people are immature and ridiculous! Update?

@@lisabaughn thank you! Nope he was dating someone else the entire time too.

@@reneesimmons1890 I am so sorry Renee. He was probably confused and his feelings were all over the board for both your relationship and his rebound, and he missed you terribly so he reached out. But you deserve someone who will never break up with you in the first place. I hope you find that, whether it's with your ex in the future or someone new someday. Anyway, I appreciate you sharing your story so the rest of us can learn from it and be prepared if something similar comes our way. If they reach out you are desperate to feel that the storm is finally passed, but in reality you might just be in the eye of the hurricane.

@@lisabaughn thank you! Still healing. How are you doing?

My wife told me the same 3 weeks ago. But she said: I care about you, I can't say that you're no one to me. But I don't feel like I used to. I need to be selfish and focus on me only. I deserve this after so many years. I think she's even having an emotional affair with some musician guy online. Clinging on to them, begging, pleading or acting desperate is not the way to go. Give em enough rope to hang themselves. In other words, backing off and let them taste life without you. This might or might not bring him back.

Update? My bf of 7 years told me that too

This is literally what happened to mea. And 6 years, too. Any updates,

Omg hello. Rereading what I initially wrote, I shouldn’t have been as sad as I thought I was! Basically a few weeks after this post, I had found out he had cheated on me. I was a mess, I lost myself, & i began going into a spiral. I cried for months, couldn’t eat, sleep, I couldn’t imagine my life without him. TRUST the healing process. I am so happy I am experiencing life WITHOUT someone I thought I needed. It’s not easy. But when you start to feel all the emotions come rushing back at you, feel them. Let yourself cry if you need to. Don’t deny what you feel or that they hurt you. Acting like a tough bitch & denying the hurt only delays your healing and time to move on. You just really need to get used to being kind to yourself & telling yourself that your feelings are valid to feel this way. For months I thought i wasn’t good enough & told myself that this was some kind of punishment to feel horrible. NO. I was good enough but they really lucked out *snaps in Z formation*. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for a year now. The trauma that comes with a break up/cheating never really goes away. But I value myself way more. I don’t put up w the bs I did before. Everything really does happen for a reason. My boyfriend now, I don’t have to beg for his love, he works w me through fights, communicates w me, doesn’t call me names & tries to understand what bothers me. I hope you all find this peace. You will soon. I know it’s hard & you feel like it will never get better, but it really freakin does! You have to put work toward your healing.

@@ashvee8558 You are doing fine, Ashley, and you will be fine. I'm very proud of you for not "begging" or doing other things to change his mind. Good luck, and stay strong! ⚘️

Way to show strength and self respect Nikki!

not sure i can do no contact.... i can't go one hour without wanting to contact her....

Martin Jones same except measured in seconds. Eleven years together and knowing I can share anything with my companion doesn’t stop easily. Just hope it’s working in reverse and all these women who comment that “no doesn’t work on women” are wrong about serious relationships

Update?

Nikki Gaines that must have been so hard to not say Happy Birthday 😭. Any update ?

wrong

It's really it is??

No not really..

Truw

It also means I'm seeing someone

yup same

Did you guys stay together?

No bro, we didn't finally. After 2.5 years, it was the best that would have happened. Need time to see things clearly

@@Phadasmagoria The no contact rule should be used not to get them back, it should be used as a fresh start. I'm currently doing it, but I'm just "letting her get on with it".

@@michaelmoores2654 Actually it worked to get her back too. She texted me after 2 months and said she wanted me back home. We went on vacations etc etc. But we break the relationship after 2 months for good. The no contact rule worked perfectly, she just wasn't that good for me so I continued my life.

Did she come back?

Wall, this is the same girl with the rebound, right? Well, she is really messed up. She could be one of those "Sex Addicts." Have you heard of Sex & Love Addiction?" Maybe you learned what she is. Keep away from her.

Why would you want to go back with someone that lower your value to the floor then, went with soemone else ? You're lowering yourself even more.

I draw a line in the sand when she fucks somebody else. Its a wrong signal to give in my opinion that you can just walk away and do something like that and you will still take her back. The only one that can get sex is the one that got dumped.

@@swamidude2214 I was in the same boat. But when that actually happens it can be very hard to say no to someone who wants you to take them back.

Xiangyi LIU, people who do that just use you for the moment. Let it go, and don't let anyone do that to you again. You just met this person anyway, so that happened way too soon. Next time, date someone for a while and get to know them...

How did it turn out?

It's happening to me now,she broke up with me a weeks ago still listening

Facts

Just purchased your break up Kit. Hope this will help me through this....!

update?

These days more women do this butterfly chasing than men, as they have more options simply because of possessing a vag

So sick of seeing a quote by a man who fathered 3 babies in the same year by 3 different women. He destroyed women.

You are so much better than that situation Samantha. I can tell you are strong and you are a fighter! he seems like a shit load of stress! Hope you are well ❤️

Creative Name Thank you, so much!! I AM doing so much better mentally & emotionally. I feel great now that he’s gone!! He hadn’t treated me good in a very long time, I am so much better without him. In fact I told his girlfriend “thank you” & gave her a hug!! Lol....

@@samanthafitzgerel4460 lol thats great samantha! Life always has a weird way of working itself out. This is my mindset which is why in my last breakup my ex was SO shocked during the breakup conversation when i was acting like nothing happened. Always trust the process. Glad to hear it!

Hes a piece of shit and probably is going through a crisis. He may come back. But that was a shittt move

It is indeed very sad if you are not able wish Happy Birthday. Hope you get your ex back. Only a person who has been dumped can fully understand the true meaning of what is love

How are things go? Are you still with the new guy or you back to your ex? Lol

Don't do it. Give her more time. You'll likely see her anyway in low contact if you share the same friend group.

@@michaelsturdevant9196 why wouldn't i? Shes on 2 dating websites and I havent talked to her once im blocked on Instagram snapchat and Twitter what do I have to lose? Im not blocked on Facebook messenger it will be 46 days when i send her that money and reach out

@@Ayoooo99-p3m If she broke up with you, you need to give her time to imagine that you are doing great without her. Then she'll regret the decision. Make her reach out to you. If she doesn't, you'll have moved on. Reaching out to her is just cashing in your no contact time and you'll get nothing out of it. Be strong, man

@@michaelsturdevant9196 im not really looking to get anything out of it im not bringing up the past im not pleading with her to bring me back I'm showing I'm a man of my word and sending her money I owe her sending a short message letting her know I sent it wish her well thats it

@@Ayoooo99-p3m I just think you'll feel better if you make her come to you. You'll look awesome if you do that

Also can you please make a video if you ever get time, when is it too late to get ex back?

My boy no worries life is a cycle..and never is late to get your ex.

Yes. That's on my list.

Wyatt sista you fine he dont know what he missin

Mapula Lucia what happen

Hi Aspiring Man ...you are ok to meet your ex gf with no sex ? If no sex = friendship ?

toshlanark 27 here pal Hurts I know Take one day at a time I sometimes cry in my dream then wake up and continue crying

Any update?

You answered your own question, he is just there for the sex and sex does not equal romance, having amazing sex does not equal love, it is just amazing sex, whether he has feelings or not is irrelevant but if he does not commit, he only has enough feelings to keep you on for the sex mostly. To sum up, he is stringing you along until he finds someone better in his mind, drop his ass now

@@DarknessIsThePath wow true that

Rachel, he is only using you for sex! You don't need someone like that I'm your life. Honey, you can do MUCH BETTER. NC with him. Remember, he is only using you. Best of luck to you..⚘️

@@ivanjeffersons1125 +150 days of NC lol feeling great, dating a beautiful girl, haven't heard about my ex since the break up. I get nostalgic once in a while but it passes quickly. We both made many mistakes during the relationship but NC has given me perspective, now I'm able to see how she neglected me though the last months of the relationship while I was thinking I was the one screwing it all up, and trying to fix things (pushing her away even more). At this point I'm Ok if she doesn't come back, I realized (once again) there are many fish in the ocean, let's see. Stay strong 👊🏽

@@wilsonaparra thank you for the kind words. Happy to hear everything is going great for you. Times are still tough here but this gives me hope

@@ivanjeffersons1125 you'll get better, trust the process👊🏽

Message Him Via Whatsapp

+ 2 3 4 9 0 6 3 7 3 1 6 5 0.. .

@@dorathypam526 No

My said those this and said we're never getting back together. 3 months later we were back together but now we are apart again. Words hold very little meaning.

He said that: i'll always care about you. My ass, he knew a was having a bad time and he does not care.

So what happened?

Go no contact and let him reach out to you cause you're the prize. Work on yourself and if he realizes what he lost, he'll be back

Sometimes the words your ex uses are not an authentic reflection of what they're truly thinking. When they love you but are not in love with you, it still rings as a drop in emotional attraction. Having issues to deal with can evoke negative emotions in the other person which creates that drop in attraction. She might still genuinely care for you and have some uncertainty about the breakup. The best way to handle it is to do no contact. It is scary because you will feel like she's getting away but it will help her to realise the place you had in her life. Alternatively I want to suggest that you consider Coach Lee's live workshop "Relationship Reignite". It focuses on saving a relationship from a breakup/separation and then keeping it after. It includes a coaching call each month for 6 months. You can talk to Coach Lee's team about it. I think the person for this is named Johnny and you can make an appointment with him to talk about it at myexbackcoach.com/relationship-reignite.

@coachkimgordon interesting enough, I went no contact and started working on myself. Within 3 weeks, we are hanging out again and we are going slow. She initiated contact and I have a very strong feeling that we will be dating again here soon based on her actions towards me recently. Thank you for the words of advice!

Bro .. I just left my ex yesterday because she literally said the same thing. I love you, but I haven't fallen in love with you if it hasn't happened by now, I'm not sure it ever will". We were together a year and a half as well!! And almost got a house together, which fell through cause of the house conditions. We've talked twice since yesterday early morning when it happened. She has to pick up her things in 5 days now, until I'm going no contact and moving on. Not waiting around for her "not knowing what she wants.. but this post gives me hope she can turn it around.

Vince Garza yeah Bro shows you are mature and are giving them space

Hey guys I have a update. My ex and i are now dating again...hope things work out..

@@SuperVincegg so it looks that telling her you didn't want to play games, worked...🤣

@@carloscabrera5311 yes it did..

Dude did you beg and plead at all before no contact? I'm just starting it and it's so difficult

Carl Mauch she doesn’t sound 100% about being together either. Which is very painful to accept but one must because it’s hell being with some one who calls the shots like this x

Sensor It Yeah I know. But I feel like it's better than, "We're never getting back together." The cause of this breakup was due mostly by me, so I'm hoping that by demonstrating actual change and self improvement there will be reconciliation down the road. I've known that I needed to change for a while. I became different than the man she fell in love with. We were together for eight years in a very loving relationship and we talked about marriage. We had plans for the future. I know she didn't want it to come to this.

Carl Mauch awww Carl that’s so sweet .. it made me smile 😊... I hope 🤞 u get what u want and good for you 👍🏻 good work

I wish my ex was like this 👌

Sensor It Thank you. I love this girl with all my heart and I know she's right for me. I've never been so close to someone and developed such a bond with another person. I really want her back in my life. Like I said, she was also my best friend.

Watch this video all the way through: m.kzfaq.info/get/bejne/e8lxZ5p-0q60j30.html

Andre Palser any update?

Update?

What happened in the end?

Kris, I would use the NO CONTACT with him. Obviously he's not in love with you any longer. I does happen. Let him go. TIME HEALS, and you can't be friends with an ex. Good luck to you..⚘️

@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you for your thoughts. Appreciate it.

.Update?

Xuba, you have a right to see your child. Contact an Attorney.

Crystalina Lee. It means he only loves you in A FRIENDLY way. Only to be friends with you.

People learn otherwise. That's my point. And it's a valuable lesson for them to have.

Kat, it could be (and is often the case) that an ex will be very cautious when he is moving back toward you. It’s rare that he would just say, “I want you back.” That’s often because he recognizes inconsistency in himself. He wanted you, then wanted the breakup, now wants you again. He likely doesn’t want to put voice to that yet. So he eases in, knowing at the very least that he misses you. Avoid the temptation to push him. Let him come to you at his own pace. Patience is certainly a virtue in this situation. Here is a video I suggest watching all the way through: m.kzfaq.info/get/bejne/e8ekYM9-zd_dhJs.html

@@RealCoachLee thank you. I have left my ex alone as i felt that i was starting to question him over getting back together, and like in your videos it says doing that will push him further. I have also come to the conclusion that i cannot be friends because i love him too much and again as your video says why be demoted to friends. I have not heard from him for 3 days now wereas before when he said over being friends he was in contact most days. Think ive frightened him off by the questions but like i said i cant do friends. Do you think i will hear from him again? Thank you.