“I love you but I’m not in love with you any more” = “I care about you enough to keep you around as a backup supply but totally prepared to discard you (or push you to reverse discard me) because I’m already cheating with someone else.”

Narcs love no one but their false self

Ill never forget when he said this to me and I replay this phrase to myself when I need a reminder why our marriage didn't work and why I divorced him. In counseling he made it all my fault and I worked hard on myself, then realized he made his problems mine and that's when I said no more. I STOPPED OWNING HIS PROJECTIONS. I am forever a better person for walking away.

After a few years of "I love you" it became "There are different kinds of love, you are my best friend". Needless to say, the discard eventually arrived when he cheated on me and discarded me for the new supply. Within 30 seconds of being discarded, I had him BLOCKED and NO CONTACT for LIFE. It's his loss. Just like "Once a cheater, always a cheater" for him it's "Once a FAILURE, always a FAILURE". While I miss the future (faking) plans we had, I'll figure out a way to still do those things on my own. On the bright side, my life is now filled with peace-n-tranquility :)

'In love' should be called 'on love' it's like being high on drugs. It's the grooming and love bombing phase. The body produces the PEA chemical which wears off after months of being exclusive. True love is the connectedness and bond of a healthy long term relationship

I know someone who's ex husband actually said this to them after she caught him in an affair. Also, saying "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" seems like it's a way for a pwNPD not to feel as guilty or shamful because they can at least tell them selves the situation isn't that bad.. or that they aren't that bad.. buffering things for themselves. Your videos help to make sense of things. Even about the desire for a younger women, so true .. an older women has the experience and will call a narc out. Is this another phrase for pwNPD to say "I'm not lovable"..?

I can't remember one single moment my 3x ever told me he was inlove with me. He told me he loved me (which I now know was fake), but his actions never proved that when he lied and cheated etc. 🍒

My ex wife told me this before the end of our marriage.

“I’m just not feeling it.” “I’m looking for something different.” 🤔 Yup

My ex Narc discarded me after 7 years, tortured me for years and walked in one day and said I love you but I’m not inlove with you. Two days later he moved in with a woman that he was with 23 years ago. They work together so I think she was always on the side as back up supply.

The narcissist loves you because you are one of their supplies but they don't really love you as a person. Narcissist do not know how to love sincerely because they are egocentric.

You're right in everything your saying! I spent 3 years now understanding why I married a covert narcissistic man and stayed for 18 yrs. He was so covert and abusive in every way! Fortunately God got me out of it! Thank you for helping so many people! We need to keep helping more and educate! God bless!

100% what I experienced. Thank you for once again providing great content and validating what so many of us have been through. So grateful I left almost 10 months ago now with no contact!🙌🏽 Also grateful for healing that allowed me to see red flags this past week, keeping me from starting a relationship with someone I believe most likely has NPD. Learning to trust my own discernment with the leading of the Holy Spirit…only place I desire to be now.🙏🏽😌

My ex narc literally said during the discard "I'm just not feeling it. I'm just not into you like that anymore." I said to him, that is something you say to someone after a few casual dates. Not after a year and a half of commitment, sharing a life together and talking seriously about marriage and the future.

Thanks Ben. I got " I love you but im not in love with you" Followed by.....(mind f××k) i miss you, think about you no matter what im doing, intimacy is best with you, think your beautiful inside and out.... Mixed, mixed, mixed message..... I went total no contact shortly after. I dont need that crazy emotion scramble in my life. 😊

I heard this several times!

My ex husband did this came down the stairs and told me he didn't know if this is what he wanted anymore. unbeknownst to me at that point I didn't realize that he already had another girlfriend that came out a couple of years later Hence where we are now Well we're no longer together he lives with his girlfriend He's been trying to come back not my problem I've got custody of our son and I'm about to file for divorce and this man still thinks he's gonna come back No it's over I'm done playing stupid games with infantile men who have the mentality of a 12 year old you don't get what you want so you cheat on me the fact of the matter is I gave him everything so I don't know what it is that I wasn't giving him he took my money he was treated like a king serve breakfast lunch and dinner and bed he wanted for nothing for 25 and a half years and she did on me four times basically saying I was the problem well if that's the case then why do you keep coming back and love bombing me you see watching you and a few other people on narcissistic abuse I figured out what my problem was and why I kept going back, and I learned what gaslighting manipulating and future faking and of course what love-bombing is you've opened up my eyes and I am now wiser this will never happen to me again for now I'm free at least, and when my divorce is final and we sell the house and our youngest son turns 18 I will be out of New York as fast as his head could spin he will never see me again.

My narc said I don’t love you anymore. Multiple times not the first time and it happened in a month, she flipped everything 180 degree from being loving to treating me like a shit. I don’t feel love, I don’t care, I don’t have feelings for you, we don’t have that spark anymore, they just discard like this with their words, it is a dramatic narc breakup.! They don’t understand any empathetic language you try to convince them.

Never had this one. Am kinda happy on the shelf, I get the benefits and 0 drama from him.

Love ur content man, I just have a small suggestion, when a viewer is excited to listen to ur topic which is mentioned in the title of the video, its a bit frustrating the fact that when we play the video we start hearing more than 4 minutes of the same introduction every time. For a person like me who has ADHD, I’d directly move to a different video and lost interest. Just wanna highlight that issue cuz I love ur channel and I know that such a thing would rather harm the viewership of ur channel. Good luck bro 💙

MAKE A VIDEO ON WHY NARCS CALL COPS ON YOU ❤

ive said this before

Yes I have heard this over and over as he says he is In love with someone who he has cheated on me and others with for years, yet she does not want a commitment with him

Hi, Ben. After the silent treatment, no sex, no communication, and complete devalued state, I told him I am hurting and I wasn't going to allow him to hurt me anymore. Come to find out he had a lady friend! 💯💩 He was cheating on me. Adultery doesn't go unpublished!

I am so grateful that I wasn’t in love with the ex husband. My thought is / was “ how can you love someone who begs you to hate them “ Divorced one year yesterday 1/28/2022. Thank you God Amen 🙏

oh thats a way of saying I want out.

I haven't heard I love you in 5 years. I identify with the topic sentence having been on the receiving end for so many years. I care about them. I care if they are healthy. I care if they are hungry. I certainly don't wish ill on them but "in love"? No. You can't value yourself and be in love with someone who refuses to demonstrate love toward you in any way. So I kinda feel like maybe there should be a follow up on this topic for those of us that are in a longhaul situation. Because I feel I am likely not the only one who identifies with this sentiment who is the receiver in the story. Just sharing my thoughts.

Spot on

What do I do when I am still in genuine love with him? I know he has a problem, but I truly love him. His siblings all have issues. He has one sibling that has been married 7 times. She was married to one guy for around 20 years. She doesn't see that she has a problem. I'm not saying the men were perfect or didn't have their own problems. What I am saying is she sees herself as the victim. I know she has issues. I have come to understand that my husband has many of the same issues. It makes me very sad and troubled. I want him to get help. He used that phrase on me in September 2021 and walked out. I am trying to heal and move on. I am trying to help our children heal.

I'm still reeling.

? Don’t narcissists know that the initial feelings they have will dissipate because there’s no doubt they’ve been done this road before. I’m thinking they must know on some level that things are going to change with them.

What if after 49 years of marriage he tells me that he hasn't loved me for years . Then while in couples therapy he tells me in frount of our counselor ... I haven't loved you in decades . What do I do with that? He also kept written account of things he said I did against him that were as long ago as 45 years . Then he reaccused our son of something he did 35+ years ago when he already served the punishment it took 10-12 years of his life to complete ... then he wants him to respond immediately when texted or called. Not thinking about our son being a worker, a husband , and father. I don't understand. I was informed I was the total reason for his misery and he didn't want to live the rest of his life being miserable.

May I ask if you take medication to help manage any symptoms of anxiety and/or depression? And do you recommend medication for people with NPD? Thank you. 🙏

What does it means when a narcissist say"I love you"!

Parts of this are bad advice. Age gap relationships have been a thing for decades. Glad to have left this aspect of the mental health. It is severely oversaturated and people are buying into it hook line and sinker.