I cried when Dakota Johnson said to the villain “I know you said it’s not my business, but I’m MAKING IT *MADAME* BUSINESS” inspirational stuff

"They're so allergic to money" 😂

Who is here because Brett Cooper spoke of this channel on her video?

I don't think even Wolverine with his healing factor would go barefoot on a New York subway !

Not only this "film" forgot to explain why would those 3 teenage girls decide to kill Sims, but it also turned its own plot into a self-fulfilling prophecy without any buildup or reason for it.

My favorite part was how they reworked the "with great power comes great responsibility" line to relate to her lol it really brought the whole movie together.

My favorite part is when Dakota Johnson mumbled, "It's webbin' time!" then farted and smirked.

Someone I know accurately described the look of this as "Final Destination meets Nancy Drew confused w/ The Terminator". Madame Web from the comics doesn't have any major story arcs nor runs instead is a blind pre-cognitive elderly woman who assisted Spider Man numerous times. As for the other Spider-Women, again, they have no relation to Madame Web in the comics and are knockoffs of Spider-Man w/ little relation between any of the three. If a writer came in who was a comic book fan knowing these characters and perhaps had interest in telling an interesting story perhaps this movie coulda turned out much different but clearly that wasn't Sony's MO.

Pepsi saves the day: the movie.

What's more sadder, watching this in theaters on Valentine's Day or being alone on Valentine's day?

"It's never been done before..." LOL! INDEED.

Should have called it, “Ma’am Web”

Congrats on the 5k subs 🥳. Your content, no lie, up there with the biggest movie review channels. Its just chatting about movies with a bud.

I love the skit at the very beginning! Was giving me portlandia vibes!😂

I cried when they said “you are the Madame of this web, you are Madame web.”

Did I get this right? They made a feminist movie where it takes 4 or 5 spider-women to match the powers of spider-man?

Dakota Johnson basically becomes Mrs. Garrett. That actually would've been a better origin story.

haha this is amazing! love the channel! happy i found it!

Omg… you guys are getting good! I’ve recently watched a old Siskel and Ebert review and your reviews put them to shame

Wait… “It’s Morbin time” is a REAL quote??? I always just thought that was like an essence extracted by the fans.

So disappointed the majority of reviews are this negative. I generally like Dakota Johnson as an actress and was so hoping for a good story. Oh well, maybe when this silly agenda is behind us we can get back to basics. What exactly was the writer’s job action about exactly? Their supposed “talent” is nowhere to be seen…..like, nowhere. Love your review as usual.

That thumbnail though 😆

A movie existing BECAUSE of the agenda is not far removed from a movie being infused with the agenda.

the guy on the left looks so much like Scott Thompson from kids in the hall in this drag getup haha, it's trippin me out

Spit take on the thumbnail! BRAVO! 👏 👏 👏

I feel like this could’ve been a really unique slasher-style story if the script was in better hands. Like, Spider-Man mixed with Scream would’ve at least been a better starting point!

Funny shirt Matt ;) Congrats also on finally reaching 6k subscribers! Such a cool milestone. I think I might wait for this movie to hit a streaming service before I watch it. I cannot wait to treat it like a comedy. That director should leave hollywood immediately!

Great job reaching 5000 subs guys! I’ve been a subscriber for about a year and it’s been a fun ride so far, keep having fun guys! Great job

Congratulations on your subscribers, you deserve so much more! Your videos are flawlessly edited and your opinions are very honest and grounded, also funny. Sending hugs from México.

I'll give this movie one tiny redeeming point: It wasn't about some giant blue sky beam, or some villain hoping to obliterate the Earth, or some multiversal threat that will wipe out all of existence. It was about a crazy guy wanting to kill a few kids. That obviously doesn't justify the rest of the movie for being crap, but it's one thing it has over all the other superhero movies that come out these days.

A video I watched recently looked at all of the lines that were inserted through ADR, and theorized that in the movie the viillain was supposed to be a completely different person from the comics, and his vision was that he would be killed by Spider-Man but the studio lost the rights to put Spidey in their movie so had to throw in the scene with the three girls having superpowers. I don't know if I believe it, but I do think there were a ton of changes we will never know about.

My first video with you guys, love ya.

Recently found you lot, great reviews, keep up the good work.

I loved the video, thanks so much for the non pr intro, needed the laughs jajajajajja. Subscribed :)

Great intro 😂that was funny. I’m surprised you all don’t have more subscribers.

Excited for "Iron Lady-Man" coming 2026.

Dakota Johnson hasn't taken so much punishment since Mr. Grey!!!!

Great video and review. I subbed. Don't forget Chekhov's Pepsi...😂😂😂😂😂

Sims should have been a Sim, a character from that computer game speaking only that gibberish language. It would have improved the movie, no doubt.

New sub! (Thanks Brett for letting us know about you!) Another movie to add to the "Never Watch" list!

phffff....the crusty white dog line caught me off guard

Congrats on nearing 6K. Keep growing the channel!

It's always a good day when HardCut uploads. I was so excited to see your review of this one.. I could tell this intro was coming 😂

You know it’s odd that the director looks more like comic accurate Madame Web than the actual actress that plays the character. Can’t wait to not see Kraven, it’s kravin time!

Glad you covered the rules of "premonition mode". Not many reviews have. It was a confusing AF hinderance, not a "gift" at all. Keep it. 🤣 Great channel. Subbed.

I cant wait for the female led Project X sequel. Yes, its real.

0:18 😂😂😂 Consider the patriarchy dismantled

Everyone knows that the Greatest power anyone could have is being a Woman and the greatest threat ever is the Patriarchy. I can't wait for the sequel. Great review guys!

Congratulations! You earned my subscription with: "Diversity hire director" Although in all fairness, the ham wallet who directed this movie is now quite dark enough to be an actual "diversity hire..."

I’m only 40 seconds in....bravo guys. Bravo.

I like how you guys dressed differently in this one because you looked kinda the same in the older vids 🙂👍

After the Peruvian scene, they should've showed what the villain did after(became rich/influential) and then have the dream. After seeing how he developed after the amazon crime scene, and seeing how he got super powers(spider was expected to be a medicine) and how he ends, how he becomes the terminator. We could also understand that the spider girls killed him because he's a villain. All this could be done in the first 8 min, and then relegate him as the Mr X(Resident Evil 2 game) character that appears to haunt the girls. It is hard to believe that the baby got shipped to the U.S. real quick during the 70's. So it would be more credible for her to stay with the tribe. She would appear to appear to the girls(ghost) and guide them to survive. 3 girls who meet, and become "sisters" while surviving a terminator's attempt. Since M.Webb is a clairvoyant, she helps them survive and meet near the end. The girls get a chance to be seen developed thru this crisis, like Sara Connor. Since this movie was intended to be a female thriller, so it gets the chance. 17:32 - No. Its not stupid. Its like in the Nicholas Cage's NEXT. The character was not a military, badass. He just used future knowledge that constantly changed through his actions. So, Webb using that to entrap a terminator she cannot fight melee, its the best course of action. Now, how it is done, that's they failed. M.Webb as someone this terminator never faced, she could've appeared(specter?) and make him fell into deadly trap(Patrick Swayze's GHOST). Use also the "finally got my revenge on you, scumbag!" motif reveal from her, so we get some kind of closure for what he did at the beginning. The movie could end after finally meeting, showing growth after surviving the crisis, and accepting how they take responsibility not only for their lives; but to a better future by saving lives as spider girls. This leaves more room if they decide to integrate with the Venom universe later in another movie. All in all, its got potential; but the end result...is worst than the 90's Fantastic Four that never got released?

omg the wigs soon as this started...love this 💯

2003 Final Destination 2 said then Madame Webb's movie is going to die😂😂😂😂

Watch all your videos... Love the reviews from the bros

I just found your channel today, plus one subs

How do you guys not have more subs.

I love that we are still trying to believe that Sydney Sweeney is a teenager. There is nothing about her that tells us she’s a kid.

It may not be overtly woke in regards to it preaching a message through dialogue/plot, but the very concept of taking the symbolic identity and prestige of Spider-Man and functionally redistributing it to various genders and various races is kinda what Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion is all about. Yes, there have been female versions of popular characters dating back to the 60's and 70's, but their creation wasn't motivated by the kind of political activism and moral panic that has captured most of modern entertainment.

Congratulations on the 5K (now 6K and counting)! 🎉🎂 it’s unfortunate that you had to celebrate it with a clunker like Madame Web, but alas…. The next one will be better! Cheers! 😅

Bring on Kraven and Venom 3 😮

Mediterranean Josh Groban 🤣 Also to add to what you guys said at the 8:30 mark - the whole idea of him hunting them down would have been more interesting if it wasn't in sequential order and you had to work it out as you went along and piece it together yourself, but what am I saying?? The studio wouldn't have been this clever 🙄

4:15 😂😂😂 Purple hair!

Thank you for your service.

I expected this movie to be bad, but Gollee, it was worse than bad. Thanks for the great review and congrats on 5,000 subs!

It will never not be funny that some poster displays for this movie…feature an empty chair. I know it’s for selfies, but it’s still funny.

Your openings are so funny. Keep up the good work.

My favorite channel 🎉

I lost this channel for a while. I'm glad i found it again. Since the fellas over at Red Letter Media got bought by Disney. i quit seeing their stuff

😆 I love you guys, This movie looks hilariously bad.

This movie was obviously made to retain rights to spiderman IP. They knew they were making a terrible movie and tricked the actors to participate. They got paid so i dont really feel too bad for them.

loved this review. Instant sub.

Italian Spider-Man should have been in it!

Ngl i would rather watch the movie "Next" again. It handles the idea of short term premonition way better

Bret "the hitman" Hart glasses 😂😂. he wore them better.

Brett Cooper led me to this masterpiece.

This is amazing 😂

First movie with a strong female lead...

The three girls are characters, they are mcguffins, a plot device only 15:01

yes

Sheller ❤️Rocky crusty white dogs ftw

Congrats guys.

This was a good review. I also like how it's just bad

Brett Cooper sent me

I kinda liked it haha! Eye candy aside.

The marvels was literally worse on every possible level 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Was watching this and was thinking, why mention your rule if your just gonna break it a second after , just seemed like the rule thing you could just left out

😂😂

4:18 bro why why is every ep about you accusing everyone to be an sjw

a little harsh 4:27

Oooof this shit sucks worse than the movie

This was absolutely cringe guys. Do less.