They accused me of hating people. I asked who they think I hate. No answer. I later wondered, who do they hate? I realised they were projecting. Then the sad, ominous truth came to me, they hate themselves.

The next time a Testament is written, a chapter should be for Saint Les. Yes.

The "silent treatment" was like a vacation. I never could figure out why he thought I'd miss the constant whining, criticism and negativity.

Reaching a place of Radical Acceptance is when the real healing begins. To accept the truth for what it is- exactly as it is, will set u free. Accepting that they cannot change.

What makes a narcissist attractive as a person is their narcissistic confidence, and what makes a narcissist repulsive is their narcissistic confidence. They cast a spell, but it wears off.

"Narcissists thrive on conflict". They create it then blame you for it. I think I'm going to go live alone in the woods.🙂

We all appreciate you being on the journey with us.

Prayers for healing for everyone here.

They provoke the thing that makes you feel belittled by them time and time again because they love seeing you emotionally destroyed

You have to be Little to Belittle. Perfectly describes a narcissist character!

My narcissist insisted on imposing a different kind of "boundary" on me. I was to keep my mouth shut and allow myself to be physically and emotionally "imprisoned" by the narcissist. It was like being in jail, or just a doll that the narc could play with the way a child acts out with their dolls. EVERYTHING is on the narc's term, and they are very competitive. A narcissist is like a two year-old kid, all emotion, and they cannot handle hearing "no" when they walk all over you. When they are frustrated in their control goals, they have a tantrum of some type, just like a toddler, and/or punish you in a passive/aggressive way. I suspect they learned from their primary caregiver: "Do and think and say what I want to hear from you or I won't love you any more." So they become very twisted and start behaving that way towards their scapegoat of choice, but turn the charm on to get what they want from more casual contacts. Yet they may tell people you are "close", maybe to give the impression to people they want for flying monkeys that they really love you and YOU are abusing THEM: "I''m so wonderful and so loyal, but they are so awful and they mistreat me all the time!" They don't reason and negotiate and discuss points of view for a more harmonious relationship. They believe that because when they "feel" they are entitled to something, that means they ARE entitled to it. They don't recognize their immaturity, though someone may say of them, "He doesn't tolerate frustration well." They think, "I want X therefore I should have X, and if you don't give me X, then you hate me and you are a disgusting and horrible person." Just like a toddler! My narcissist wanted to make me into an "empty doll" that could be played with and projected onto when it was useful to them, and then throw me in a corner when some "bauble" caught their eye. I really turned my life around and stopped suffering over this situation when I realized that the narcissist I was once close to was the false face, the shell/make-believe persona that the narcissist learned to adopt to try to get approval from authority figures, like parents, teachers, neighbors, strangers. It made me profoundly sad, but realizing how sick and empty and troubled the narcissist is allowed me to move on with my life and breathe free for a change! What a relief! And I realized that I had not had any real fun with this person for years. I spent too much time watching my back. THAT's POINTLESS. I asked myself if I would have ever CHOSEN to be emotionally involved with someone I knew to be like this. The answer was "NOPE!" I finally chose to have my say about something the narcissist didn't want to hear a differing point of view about, so I was discarded in a passive-aggressive way: no discussion about what I "did wrong", just a statement that I said something "offensive". I didn't beg and plead for any explanation, which is probably what they wanted. If the buffet is empty, there is no point in going back for another helping. Ditto if the food is spoiled and poisonous. Find a new place to get a meal. Be glad and celebrate that you are no longer a prisoner!

“No does not mean No to them,” is absolutely true!

If you don't stick to your beliefs, boundaries and your word.... They'll eat you alive. As long as you allow those who are self serving to intimidate you, they'll eat you alive. And it ain't easy to set those boundaries, you have to protect yourself with an outer skin

Hey Dr C. Thank you for this video. So the narcissist thought he was going to punish me by leaving the relationship with no closure no explanation so that I would come running back to beg him to tell me what was going on I flipped the script on him. It's been 3 years of absolutely no contact from me. He didn't get to give me the silent treatment, hoover me, blame me for his miserable life I blocked him and he can't get through to me. I feel so Vindicated and I watch you every single day Dr. C to keep me balanced when it comes to these narcissistic people. I want no parts of them. I am on team healthy

Setting boundaries causes an ego death of sorts for the narcissist. They go through all of the stages of grief in reacting to my boundaries. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, and acceptance. Setting boundaries is a "spiritual practice," not an event. You have to reassert your boundaries clearly and often. We set boundaries for ourselves, not the other person. The react with anger and all of the various tools in their toolbox, all of which used to work, to get you to comply. They are doing what narcissists do, using the various behaviors in their toolbox to gain compliance. Only when they've been through their entire set of tools, do they arrive at a point of acceptance. But, the second they detect weakness, they pull out their toolbox and try again.

"Don't make up excuses to stay with a narcissist because you have children with them, due to financial matters, or because you're afraid to leave. Get some help right away! You deserve so much better! 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships "

My Ex Narcissistic husband isolated me for years; First from my mother and brother, and then, when I finally did stand up to him for the first time in 40 years, he isolated me from my adult children by taking me 100 kilometres to another area that I wasn't familiar with, knowing that I had health issues. These narcissists are vile individuals, and feed off the vulnerable.

My 80 yr old mom and I have been listening for o your channel for many yrs now. My narcissistic dad passed this past May and now we are only left with my narcissistic sister. I wanted to take a minute and thank you for the plethora of knowledge you have provided for my mom and I over the past years. You have 2 huge fans on #TeamHealthy cheering you on from the sidelines 🙌❤🥰

When I set a boundary, I don't draw a line in the stand and dare the other person to cross it. A narcissistic person will. When I set a boundary, I decide what I will and will not do. The boundary is for me not to cross for my own sake.

I agree Dr. C..I've always believed it blasphemous using God to bully others..

Our boundaries work regardless whether the narcissist approves or not. Our boundaries are for us. We are not going to change the narcissist by setting boundaries. Nope. Never! Not in this life-time! 😊🕊😊

Over time you have to stand up to them. And it's not good for your health to be worn down like that all the time. Never felt better than to cut off the narcissist close to me. No more anxiety attacks! I like the way you present this information in a clear, comforting way. It can be pretty bleak/depressing sometimes thinking about narcissists in our lives and how hard it can be to change things. Your videos are so comforting in this regard. Bless you!!

They are used to you relenting to begin with. There is no relationship with them that ever didn't require you relenting parts of you.

In my healing journey from codependency, I realized that I had to learn to prioritize my own feelings and let go of my attachments to my toxic family members. I ended the nonexistent relationships I had with my narcissistic brothers and also my own son who has alienated me from my grandson. As someone who has repeatedly had relationships with narcissists, I knew I had to be able to walk away from any relationship at any time. And to not get into relationships so quickly. But now I do also see them much more easily.

Dr.C your love and effort is much felt and appreciated! Many thanks!

Thank you for offering me deliverance from this plague... and showing me change. Please speak on sibling narcissism.

They will never agree. They just won't. They can't. They cannot see, they cannot understand. They will not. According to them, I am and always will be wrong. Leaving that hell respectfully or in total frustration doesn't matter to them. Explanations do not matter, except perhaps as ammo for them to argue and continue their agenda. Leaving, completely, and staying gone, makes no difference to them, but works wonders for yourself, and the Life that YOU have been given.

I just needed to say that even this this is from a year ago I needed to hear it today. I stumbled yesterday with one of my adult children and ended up defending myself. I fell back into old patterns. I spent the whole night feeling totally unsure; the self-doubt was huge. My thoughts went right back to “this must be me, there is something wrong with me or they would not all be this way”. The other part of me told me that me feelings aren’t wrong; they are what they are. Struggling to believe me. I just want you to know you just validated that it is OK to believe my own instincts. Thank you so Much!

I am going to class three night a week one for Boundaries, one for 12 steps, and one for Recovery, I'm 90 days sober and now my nars says I'm just doing everything I want to do and have no time for him...uh yeah I'm getting myself healthy for the sake of all my relationships...he's making me out to be selfish because I'm seeking help. Ehh so frustrating!

Boundaries are for us to stay true to ourselves? I did things the way I have always done things...such as paid bills on time...get grocery once a week...buy meat once a month...do laundry once a week...do the dishes every few days or as needed...make dinner at the sametime every night...watch my shows every week...Bible Study every Wednesday night. Had to move back home to live & care for my mother. I didn't know she was a Covert. All of a sudden everything I did was wrong...I was wrong...I was being abused and didn't know what the heck was going on. I stayed true to who & how I did things, but she would out right steal from me (things I noticed) or steal from me passive-aggressively. The more I stayed true to myself the more she came at me. I would hide and/or lock things up, but it didn't stop her. Her backlashes got so bad with the verbal, emotional, mental abuse I would pray to God to take me. I became so afraid, but I couldn't move out because I had no money & no where to go. I use to trust myself before I moved back home, now I don't! I never caved into her way of thinking, but I paid a price none the less. I started Grey Rocking her and things got worst. Then she passed away about a month later. I lost more things than I can count...most of all, I lost my sense of peace...inter peace...I am still finding things missing because locks don't seem to work with narcissists. I have night terrors and anxiety attacks...it seems I get trigger everyday. I will say, Dr. C saved my life. If you set boundaries with a narcissists you live with be prepared because they come at you in ways, you never would think of. I must had done something wrong because I stayed true to myself so I thought...💔 I do want to thank you Dr. C because you were a light when I was in complete darkness.

5:34 "boundaries...don't assume that it doesn't work just because they *'remain narcissistic' ".*

"I am not good at not being me" The entire relationship is abuse because they are wanting others to go along with their delusional brainwashing regarding their gimmick of a persona. My authenticity and sincerity prevent me from being able to play their game.

Dear Dr, bless you. You're good people ❤️

I’m in the final month of having to deal with the narc, I’m moving out. Sometimes I just let him rattle on with his rants and totally ignore him which then get more intense the more I don’t respond and he ends up making a complete fool of himself. Sometimes I just sit and smile and he goes ballistic or I whistle when he’s talking nasty and I walk out the room. Other times I answer back and he goes into panic mode as he can’t deal with the truth he is hearing. I gave him a few home truths last Friday morning and I’ve never seen anyone run out of a house that fast. 2 hours later he came back here threatening that he will take me to court. I told him to do it, he totally freaked out, what he doesn’t know is I’ve been recording all his rants and rages since the end of June this year and I have 97, yes 97 of them so far. He can take me to court if he likes. 🙄🙄🙄

The reason for most domestic disputes and violence.

🤣Dr C should be a comedian, his portrayal of the There's God and then there's Me! (mini god narc)

My husband was quite about the things he was doing, but my daughter has moved me out here to Texas & she is the most hateful ,controlling witch on Earth. Between the stress of losing almost all my belongings in California, the death of Robert , it has become to much for me. She has me living in a RV out in the boonies & I am here by myself except for her & I feel like I'd rather end what's left of my life then live with her constant control & stress she causes every time I'm around her* Tell me what to do about her* Please. Thanks & A good video as always* Bless You

I've been struggling with the whole Gray Rock/Going Dark aspect of this. As a Christian, it feels very un-Christian to not work it out. My pastor sent me this verse yesterday: "As much as it is UP TO YOU, live at peace with everyone." - Romans 12:18 She added this comment: "I feel you’ve done that. Now you need to have healthy boundaries and not allow anyone to treat you poorly. It seems to me that’s where you are." Very validating to me dealing with a manipulative sister who is now into her smear campaign of me. Four members of her family unfriended/blocked me on FB. I am done. DONE. Also wanted to add a big Thank You to Dr. C for his help. I love his videos and just bought his book. Very, very helpful.

My husband tried so hard to alienate me from my family. He would rage at me if I referred to where I grew up as "home" and said that my home was with him so I am not allowed to use that word to describe where I grew up. He would insult both me and my family constantly, saying things like "you do xyz so badly just like your mom/dad/sister etc." And say they were such a bad influence on me for a variety of reasons so I shouldn't spend time with them. It worked for a little while but not long term and I am now living in my "home" with my parents after 6 years of awful marriage.

I feel the setting of boundaries is the absolute essential first step in that helps you define who you are and what you want in your life going forward. Narcissists who might have known you a long time, whether friends, family or a spouse, will notice this immediately. A CHANGE! And they will probably react with rage and a desire to hurt/punish you but there might be some people, maybe a scant few, who might have the flexibility to work with you so the relationship can continue in some capacity, be it a lesser capacity. But with others, boundaries can be the initial stepping stone to this relationship ending and disappearing from your life. Your new found knowledge of yourself will make it crystal clear sometimes that this is the wrong person for you, there is no basis for anything approaching a two sided and respectful interaction and understanding between you--and it is high time to distance yourself, lose the emotional connection, ALLOW yourself to stop caring in the same way…. and move foreword without this person.

I had to cut off all contact with my mom and sister. After years of trying to set boundaries and standing up to their abuse. Mom is routinely trying to hoover me through guilt; she is very covert and manipulative. As she is getting older, in her ‘80’s, the thought of her passing is a real point of contention. She has been asking me for YEARS if I would ‘work’ with my sister regarding the after effects of her passing and I have always said ‘yes’. Get your paperwork in order and I am prepared to sign in accordance to your wishes’ She still has NOT gotten her paperwork to her attny; like I said its been ongoing for at least 5-6 years. My new issue is my husband of 34 years has been telling me to basically bend to the knee so I wont lose any inheretance-he doesnt want my neice to get it all leaving nothing for our children.. I dont care if Im ommitted from her will!!! I have all I need in life, but I really dont know what to do or how to handle this. Any advice is welcome and appreciated. As a side note, when I realized what I was dealing with, both mom and sister, almost destroyed my relationship with my daughter. So, all the standard behavior that comes with one ‘waking up’.

I’ve not heard about a narcissistic daughter! My abuse has been going on for years but I’ve just figured out she is what she is and will never apologize or accept mine for perceived wrongs! You have helped me see what I need to have a peaceful life! I am 80 and she is 54! I’m determined to have peace in my life, however long it may be!

D B ...their jealousies can turn siblings against the loving parent. They control siblings and punish ... Its horrific

Thanks, Dr. Carter: My sis uses one of two responses when you decline to participate in something. It's either "You can't say "No"", or the predatory stare and silently walking away. She has retaliated by telling people in businesses, banks, etc. that I'm crazy. I have a college degree and worked for two major corporations. She doesn't stop.

They just step up the abuse, big time.

Oh boy. I have a lot of very toxic dangerous relatives etc. In some cases it is a very good idea to cut off relatives to protect your children from harm. I know both sides well My mother and maternal relatives constantly bad mouthed my father's side of the family and my mom would call them mean and names and pressured me to the point of fear of reprisal if I should contact them. The fact of the matter is that my father's side were very kind and my maternal relatives were sneaky, thieves, manipulative dishonest and grossly abusive. I kept them away from my children. I wish I moved to a different country.

Dr. C..... There was something you talked about in another video that always resonates with me. The narcisstist is bent towards destruction but as a person of dignity it is my choice not to follow this person to destruction . Emotional Detachment served me well. He did self destruct but I am still here and now completely intact emotionally. Thank you for your guidance and validating me. I can remember that through the yrs with this person.....I would say over and over....to myself I am not CRAZY.....but he is and was. Thank you again for all your wisdom! Kudo's to you and Guss!!! Moving forward in North Carolina with a HAPPY HEART. WALKING IN MY BOUNDARIES!!

It was incredible to me how the nex family members could be held in high regard and we would have to be completely available for them if they had any mental issues. But when it was one of my family members, they were demeaned, degraded and completely discarded! That was a NO from me!

The silent treatment.... I will never take that bait again from now on. Thank you.

Has anyone ever had a narcissist for a financial advisor? Someone who is condescending toward you and plows ahead with their strategy despite your initiatives?

THAT’S EXACTLY IT! The arrow in quiver analogy. Told my therapist about it, the endless attacks.

Early on, my sister said, he thinks he's better than us. I defended him for many years, but eventually I saw it too.

When I confronted my narc ex friend, I knew nothing about narcissism, however on reflection the words I used summed her up, manipulative, greedy, using people for all she could get. Not to mention she was vain yet possibly the most insecure person I'd ever known. Has anyone else noticed that narcissists have absolutely no natural interest or curiosity? Not necessarily about other people, getting to know them, etc, but also generally? I think you touched on this in your video.Thank you again for your work Dr C! #teamhealthy 🙏

I so appreciate your counsel. I did not know what I was dealing with until I viewed several of your videos. Thank you. It’s so true that narcissists thrive on conflict. Sad.

Thank you, Dr.Carter for helping me understanding my Narc sister. She has been a thorn in my side for year's. I realized from learning from you how destructive she has been to me after years of just forgiving her over and over again. Not any more! Now that I've stood up to her she is playing the victim game to the rest of my family .because I'm gray rocking her and not taking her bs anymore. She doesn't have the guts to come to me directly to face her false self! Unfortunately the “Holidays “ with her in the room will be uncomfortable but I'm sticking to being my peaceful self because of your guidance! Thanks again.

Dr C did a video on family as a cult with Meredith...? Excellent

I had an event with a narc who used verbal abuse on me on the job, and then having found themselves in error, they approached me, grabbed my face and looked at me like I was a child to overpower and said " i was just joking'. I replied, I know what gas-lighting is and pulled my face free, the narc then grabbed my face AGAIN, and repeated her statement. The next day I went to my supervisor and revealed the event and asked if I could speak to the narc about their overstepping their bounds, I was given permission. I spoke to her, but she had her 'lacky' with her,, and when I confronted her with the verbal abuse she said she didn't say what she DID say (of course). So I said, its irrelevant anyway, BUT my body IS MINE, and you are not allowed to handle my body without MY permission. She accepted the boundary. I think she did this because she KNOWS she can't argue the physical reality because of video from the store records. I am leaving her territory to move on with my life, and I am concerned for others that she will manipulate or try to manipulate, but I know my supervisors are aware of the games. The event was good for me, to practice setting boundaries and knowing I have the right ignore and reject this person's attempts to manipulate me.

Great advice. I am trapped in one room while my fiancés at work until we can move out soon. We live with his narc mother. I am afraid to go to the bathroom. I cant cook anymore. We tried grey rocking for two months then she randomly came into the kitchen when I was cooking and yelled and cursed at us that we cut her out. I'm not even related to her. My own parents who are narcissist wouldn't even yell or curse at me for not talking to them as much. I don't know what his mother thinks I owe her. It is bizarre. Another time I had tried to tell his mother how I felt she put garden needles into her arms. Making me even more afraid to say how I feel. She is very controlling, manipulative, and selfish. Even when things were normal we couldn't cook or leave the house without wanting to know where we are going, what we are cooking, how to make it better, what ingredients she has etc. She has completely made me a prisoner in one room of the house. When we would walk down the stairs she would immediately jump up and come talk to us and try to get any information as possible. I'm so tired of being a prisoner I cannot wait until we move out.

I am not a huge techy person but the BEST THING EVER is I can speak my mind to him WHILE HE IS BLOCKED.... no response comes to me and my friends THAT'S THERAPY ON STEROIDS

My narc mother invited my brother and me to dinner at her place and laid down the rule of “no political talk.” I was okay with that... but she does have a long history of gossiping about others at these family dinners, so my expectations were low for quality conversation. I was observant of the topics she brought up... and wasn’t surprised when she out of the blue asked me if I’m ready to throw away a painting I made as a child that’s still in her house. (A painting I was very proud of at ten years old.) I ended up rescuing the painting, but now it’s just a reminder of what a jerk she is.

Man it's not wonder I legitimately felt like I was losing my mind every waking moment. I've been stuck with a narcissist since quarantine (they used the lockdowns to their advantage to keep me more trapped.) I cut out all of my friends and family right at the start of quarantine, this was also used as a ploy against me. It's no wonder I am always second guessing and explaining myself when it is absolutely not necessary. It helps a lot to know and see that I'm not the only one has gone through something like this. I will be seeking therapy very soon. Thank you Dr. C

#TeamHealthy Love you Dr. C

Thank you! Dr Carter; this was a good Topic today. When you see you can't unsee! When you know you can't unknow! When you wake-up from a Narcissist world; the Clarity of understanding like a Oh my God! Now I understand why I have been reacting the way in which I've been in my life! I've been with dealing with the abuse of Narcissist my whole life! And yet here I stand in my integrity ,Truth, and I am not defined by what they think of me and just maybe being raised by a Narcissistic Mother prepared me on how to stand up to the X-Narcissistic husband! Because I choose not to be bitter nor resentful I no longer give space in my mind and Spirit to someone who is lost in there own darkness! I may be stuck living with this very manipulative disturbed person, but I trust when the opportunity is presented to me to move out I will with confidence walk out the door and not look back,, nor will I never again Question my Athority over my own life!! Prays I make it! Much Love&Light many Blissings and successes Namesta 🙏💜 prayers for Peace among all peoples around the world!

The Peaceful are Powerful .. you CAN respond in peace and don't HAVE to be reactive!! Thank you Dr C ... I love how God shines bright through you!! God is all about full restoration and healthy living, & after all .. WE ARE TEAM HEALTHY!! 🤗🤗🤗

That's just crazy. I dont get selfish people. My son is a narcissist. It got so bad I just had to cut him off. Painfull as all hell but necessary for self preservation Very sad.

Boundaries need consequences.

Absolutely not going to feel sorry for being who I am! Makes me want to just break out and do happy dance instead! 🤸🤸‍♂🤸‍♀

There's this episode today that has been bugging me. If I can just process this with you here. When abuse gets dressed up in jokes. And it may be very difficult to detect. And it may be easy to laugh at it at first. And then I realize, wait a minute, that's NOT funny at all! That was aimed at and targeted at me. In a very disguised way. And the other people in the room may not see it. But I do. I know that that 'funny' thing is to be traced back to something that has to do with me, the way I look, a vulnerability, the way I do a sertain thing and now it's being spotlighted in front of others. And cruely made 'funny', so EVERYONE laughs at it. And then even worse: why did I smile at that!!!! I was on to it, I knew it, and yet...That felt so wrong! I need to be ahead and not in delay for stuff like that! Feels good to get that out. Thank you. Siri.

I tried setting boundaries with my elderly mother and my narc older sister and her flying monkey younger sister and was instantly banned from my own mother's property. That was almost 3 years ago and I haven't heard from a single one of them. I might be easier to set boundaries with just one but there's no way I can do that with three or four. There isjust no way possible I'm ever going to have a normal family relationship with my own mother. Looking back in my past family history none of it was healthy.

Hi Doctor Carter my Sister had been very diffcult to get along with for many years until i came accross your videos online wow they say Knowledge is power i now have no contact with her and feel so much better keep up the good work Doc

Yes . The isolation was the power of the narcissist

Here are my thoughts on the second question, the first boundary I set with my mother I did it through an email. My therapist and I crafted it together and then I asked her can you honor this? She said yes, but I am not holding my breath. But down the road I will be able to say, you said you would honor this. The other day I called my son and literally read my boundary to him because I was so nervous. But I did it! I am good with small steps. These small steps will lead to more and bigger steps in standing up for who I am and what I believe in a polite and calm matter. Only took me 60 years, but I am finally standing up for me! Thanks for standing with me Team Healthy, it is appreciated.

After 51 years of relationship with a narcissitic father, who screw up the family business we use to have as inheritance of my grandfather, sueing his old brother, he then gossip and contaminated the few members I use to still have contact with. Now that he is old, and I have cut all sort of contact for my health and peace of mind, I know him so well, and I can perceive his feelings towards me, that I can perceive a sort of twisted mental agenda for me after his departure. Because of an accident I had 4 years ago, and I couldn't walk for almost a year, I became dependent on his support, which I know perfectly he doesn't do it for me, but to show himself up before everyone as good. My question here is: Am I being too paranoid with this sort of thinking? But as I said before, he has been my entire life like this, that it is as if I could read his mind clearly. Thank you Dr. C once again for such good explanation and good wishes.🙏♥️🔥

I was thinking, Dr. C 🤔 - Saying to fear the narcissists feels to me as if it is giving them too much mental and emotional real estate. I would much prefer to use the word wary. Be wary of the narcissists. Another great video-thank you and blessings to the three of you from California! 🕊

My husband actually asked me…” why can’t you be in servitude to me?” 😅😅😅😅 OMGGGGGGG

So is it common that the narcissist is so competitive, self righteous and demeaning that you feel hatred towards them and then the next time they're so nice and kind that you feel guilty? My Mom is the narc which is really difficult because I want to be a good daughter but I really don't like her and don't want to be around her and she needs company 24/7 (so she can get her energy fix, I imagine.. Energy vampire) I'm in my 60's so you'd think I'd be able to deal with this but I just moved back to the same town after being gone 20 years.

God do I love you! Your soo positive and calm we need that

Thank you for your brave comments about God talk.

So true. The greatest suffering I endured ( after being nominated mother and spouse of the year 2012) was the bad mommy , terrible wife slander. Which was then codified in court order. Devastating.

more like they ask how can they are make you miserable. Then the word NO takes on a wonderful meaning.

My X narc hub was a drama king. One of many experiences I had with him was this...I wanted to get my hair cut. We agreed to a just past the shoulder length. So, when I was out with a friend shorty after we had agreed on my hair, I decided to go ahead and have it done. When I got home my hub was furious. He thought I should have called him to let him know before I had it cut that day. He said "it was like I stabbed him in the back". 🥴

How do they get away with non-accountability? I believe they see the world as a chess game-board. They quietly scout out who the authentic sacrificial lambs are, who the potential flying monkeys are, and just how to spin the entire group. Then they make their move. Sadistic.

Come back Gus.I’m in crisis.

You have been a Blessing to me, Dr. C. Thank you

They definitely will not welcome self-assertion. Lol. I had a master class in narcissism from ex-hub, who is machiavellian. So my recent vulnerable narcissist boss was a good reflection of all I learned about control tactics. It didn't stop the little punishments, and a few triangulations slipped through, but I stood my ground, so I feel I did ok. Oh, he cornered me in a back room. I worked in the back room and he ended up taking "liberties" after he put in his two weeks' notice. Punishment for not bending to his will. Creeper! If you tell these people what you like or dislike, they will set out to do the exact opposite just to be contrary. I call them subversive. Or agitators.

My (ex) husband would have put "us" in deep debt. He quit his job and refused to get another one. I canceled all the joint credit cards, and sent the official letter to every company telling them I'd accept no new charges after the date of receipt, cut up all the credit cards, opened a new bank account in my name only, had my paycheck auto deposited, and closed the joint account. I couldn't make him find a job but I could keep him from dragging me down financially. Once I had that boundary, the rest was easy. Of course, I was "lucky" he liked the money I made. It gave me a "safe" place with people who appreciated and cared for me. Did he like it? No. Did he try everything to suck me in? Yes. Did he try to make me out to be the bad guy? Yes. Did I care? Nope. If he's already making me miserable, how much more miserable can I be? I figured not much. I was right. He was already abusive.. so he didn't have too much to escalate to.

Thank you Dr C for sharing your wisdom about narcissism. I’ve left a narcissist after a 25 year marriage and healing is taking some time and I’m making a lot of progress. I’ve just realised the isolation from your family can be covert rather than overt. My in laws are strongly narcissistic and this side of the family dominated our lives. I was able to have contact with my side of the family but first preference and the majority of time was with the in-laws. I now realise the dominance was a way of reaching the same outcome, just not saying it outright. This was also very characteristic of how they operated. Well I figured it out and I’m safe now. I’ve also been able to pass it forward and recommended to a friend to watch your channel and they have found great comfort in the information and validation of what they are going through. I look forward to your next video.

I love that. You have to be little to be little

I noticed after dealing with a blow up text from my boyfriends daughter that everything she was saying about me were really negative things about herself that they were projecting on to me. At first i was dumbfounded and kept saying where is this coming from until I came to that realization. Only then could I get rid of my anger and hurt and start realizing it was a character flaw in her and feel sorry for her because she must have a lot of pain inside of her.

Hello Dr Carter ❤️ just stopping by to listen to your wisdom for a while cuz you're my KZfaq father figure. ❤️ Hello from beautiful San Diego👋

"You have to be little to belittle." I love that phrase and you are so correct. Thank you , Dr. Les, so very much as you help me tremendously getting it all straight in my mind as to exactly was really going on in the horrific relationship. God bless you and continue to give you such insight and wisdom and discernment. I am blessed for having discovered you. Thank you.

oh my goodness this one was excellent. I wish I could express just how much you dr. C, Jennifer, Gus and each and everyone of you here mean to me. You are all a God send. Thank you so much. Go Team Healthy Go 🤸💗🐶

Thankyou so much Dr. C. My mother is a covert narcissist and her husband is overt and they together bullied so much together it was a horrible nightmare. They are Bullys and beat me down .You validate so much and the knowledge has been so powerful Thankyou Dr.C 🤗

Thank you for taking on the religious side of things. That’s a hard one for me and what you said makes perfect sense.

My brother is a narsassitic person Anytime i try or my mom tries or my dad tries to stand up to him. Its a fight. A yelling match. Because we just get done with the constant lies and nasty things that come out of his mouth. He is 40 yrs old. I feel like he will never change. But I have changed. I walk away from him. I dont engage. Because even something small becomes something huge. I have established small boundaries to not let him bring me down .

Thank you for your videos. I have been away from the narcissist for 2 1/2 years and still need to learn how to be myself. The person I was, is not the person I wanted to be. I have finally learned that the person I am now, is a wonderful kind woman.

Hello Dr. Carter. Thank you for your wisdom you share with us. You helped me a lot to understand all the chaos going on. Thank you! 🤗💐 I get my life back 🐣 and will swim like a fish who escaped from the net 🐟

It’s absolutely Useless to try to set boundaries they love being evil suicide may be the only way out the only hope to escape the evil they impose

I've been watching you for 3 years now I so wish that I could be one of your clients

I am so grateful for your help. My ex husband was overbearing and u help me understand my personal rights. You can't change your abuser but u can walk away. That is indeed possible