Personally I'm team Alice. That girl did everything to protect Bella AND she was so much less drama then Mr. "Ill kill myself if you dont love me" and Mr. "I watch you sleep"

AND HE RETURNED WHEN WE NEEDED HIM THE MOST

“I enjoy the twilight movies, but my least favorite thing about the twilight movies is the twilight movies” is fucking poetry and you’re SO RIGHT jane solo movie when

I can't express my dissatisfaction when I found out Carlisle's whole power is just "he's compassionate"

Mike’s movie review era coming back was truly what 2022 needed

the sweater, the necklace, the hair, the nails, sis you popped off like you’re girlboss slaying

I’m firmly team “Bella stays single for a while, maybe take a gap year to do some soul searching, backpack around Europe, get herself some self care self love”

the whole "all three in the tent, I'm hotter than you, take your clothes off" scene was honestly just a writing prompt for the fan fiction writers

Living in a post-PLL recap world and all of its references and sound bytes being part of the canon now is so amazing. We are lucky to live in these times.

Mike calling Victoria Veronica for the entire video is such an important thing to me

At this point in the MMCU (mike's mic cinematic universe), in a post pll-breakdown world, you're basically screwed if you haven't seen the rest of his videos as the canon references are 50% of the viewing enjoyment.

I'm team Alice. Like excuse me but that scene from the book where she's like "I love Bella too"? Iconic. Magnificent. She deserves a girlfriend

As someone said in another comment, Jacob says in the books that he takes off the shorts and ties them to his ankle when he changes. NOT ONLY THAT, he says that they have shorts stached all over the woods for emergencies

Mike is so enthralling. I’d listen to him recount this saga instead of watching/reading it any day.

‘She’s immediately a queen- she’s also a werewolf’ giving big ‘she’s a mammoth, of course’ vibes

The Cullen house is actually in an extremely wealthy part of my hometown (where all the twilight movies were filmed). It was listed in 2010 for 3 mill but is probably now actually worth about 10 million dollars due to crazy Vancouver property inflation. I was in high school when they were being filmed and remember trying to crash the filming locations with my friends during class because most of the forest scenes were filmed in the forests directly bordering my school/ hometown. Good times good times. (also i think the house may be for sale currently so s.n.a.t.c.h that shit up quick)

It’s absolutely insane to me that Stephanie Meyer just made jasper an ancient racist for no reason. He could have at least been in the Union army 😩😤

the amount of pop culture/stan twitter references you must know in order to decypher mike's videos is honestly sending me x)

Okay but imagine the rabbit hole he’d fall into if he started reading the books! There is an absurd amount of lore and mundane moments that were cut out of the movies!! I’m here to remind you of Bella and Edward at lunch during school. Bella asked Edward if he can eat human food and he deadass tells her that he can eat it but it’s gross and he’s gonna have to throw up later!! Then he eats a bite of pizza like bitch what. Bella is entirely amused by the vampire oddities that they discuss while just hanging out it’s wild.

If I remember correctly, the jorts thing is that pre-empitivley, the wolves have stashed emergency jorts in the forest around La Push and Forks. And also before they transform and hide their pants in more jort holes. So imagine ur walking in the bush and u see a blue thing out of the corner of ur eye and upon further inspection, its jorts

mike's mind is just the gift that keeps on giving

“And of course Alice serves, like come on” was pretty much my entire takeaway from the Twilight series in middle school

Alright, take a trip down memory lane with me. I went to see the Twilight: Eclipse premier with my older sister. The most excited people in the theatre were 3 Spanish speaking men with salt and pepper hair in what seemed to be their work pants and matching Twilight - Team Jacob shirts. They also helped shush the audience as we got excited 😂😂.

When I was first watching all the twilight movies, i straight up skipped Eclipse and did not notice. I had no prior knowledge of twilight, I thought it was just a weird time skip-- New Moon ends with a proposal and Breaking Dawn starts with a wedding, like all this drama and for what. Nothing happens.

My husband made me watch all the twilight movies recently because I had only watched the first one when it came out and LITERALLY you have said all the thoughts I had while watching it 😂 Edward did not deserve the actual nonsense of Bella and Jacob

Looking in retrospective, Bella was a straight-up Hormone Monster this entire series, the lengths she went just to get laid, can relate ngl

I hate that I know this but when Bella becomes a vampire she tries to wear contacts to hide from Charlie and the venom on her eyes (lol) keeps dissolving the contacts so she can't wear them for long. She also has to remind herself to blink a lot and move slowly which is fun vampire lore. Love to imagine the Cullens constantly forcing themselves to move in slow-mo.

"who is providing all the cargo shorts for these werewolves" took me tf out

"imagine if the season 2 finale of euphoria just randomly had alice cullen in it" the world is not ready for him he is ahead of our time

I rewatched all of twilight in 2020 and was DYING at Jacob being so creepy! But none of my friends have watched twilight recently so they couldn't revel in my anger with me. I just looked like a lunatic ranting about Jacob lol

I need to say this. The pace at which you talk and the edits between sentences is perfect. It’s literally perfect. I think at the same pace as these videos

my heart is literally broken that you didn’t talk about seth, he’s my absolute favorite character from twilight

I think a lot of people were Team Jacob just by process of elimination because they didn't want to be Team Edward but we're so conditioned to believe that characters need to be in a romantic relationship at the end of the story that no one thought of the Team No One option

Bella sitting in the chair for months depressed is like a foreshadowing of the covid-19 pandemic 🤌🏻 is there anything Twilight can’t do?!

I was always team Jacob. Mostly because I was a closeted lesbian and thought picking the muscly guy would make me look straighter. I am now team Alice.

"why are you giving still when you should be giving sparkling" this is why i always watch your content

thinking about how in the book jacob explained that he ties a pair or shorts to his literal wolf leg 💀

i'm team edward & jacob hooking up and bella backpacking through europe to find herself because damn

Honestly Edward is an actual saint when it comes to Jacob… I wouldve thrown hands multiple times throughout this movie for the shit he says

First time I read the series I was 12 and was Team Edward (cause rob pat duh). Second time I read the book, I was 17 and was Team Jacob (cause book Edward was a first rate creepshow fr). Last time I read the book, I was 22 and became Team Alice. Such a character development journey for me lol

Miss Steph *HAD* to make Jacob totally unlikable because people in her mind HAD to prefer Edward. She knew she made Jake too kind, sweet and good for Bella in New Moon 😂 she needed people to side again with Mr Eddy

Me: Serious, poised, listening to this fantastic breakdown of Eclipse. Mike: No why is Jasper at this graduation party serving Willy Wonka? Me: :spits out soda all over phone screen:

Understanding 90% of the pop culture references in Mike's video's is my superpower.

Imagine mike becoming a professor and teaching exclusively through movie/tv references lol

the "IMPRINTING?? would you like a sedative" edit was so slay i chuckled at that one

here's a question. If Bella had chosen Jacob and they had a child.... would Jacob have imprinted on his own daughter??

In Jacob's defense in the tent scene, the taking off the clothes thing is 100% legitimate. Winter clothes especially are designed to keep the heat you have in and keep as much cold from the outside out. Coats don't work if you have no heat to keep in. But because coats are supposed to keep the outside out, they also prevent the spread of heat from external sources. It's recommended that groups who are experiencing hypothermia sleep together naked under a shared blanket. Or at least coat undone and shirt off chest to chest.

"If you can wear pants you can wear a shirt" 🤣 Truer words have not been spoken 🤣

"Its giving very much avengers endgame meets coraline meets rugrats all grown up meets greys anatomy" I cant explain how much sense this makes. really more than it should.

the pants conundrum is even worse in the books. the werewolves have to tie their shorts to their legs before they transform and if they forget, they are SOL when they change back

In the books the werewolves have a band wrapped around their ankles where they put the shorts where they transform. In the book, Bella had that same question about the shirtlessness but its all talked about. Stephanie Meyer leaving no plotholes behind.

I was 22 when the first movie came out. I felt like I was in on the joke, but now I'm worried about the children who were exposed to this franchise. I hope you're all ok.

8:44 Mona is the top dog of that situation. Veronica is the least intimidating out of the 4, I don’t remember Blair ever getting into a real fight on gossip girl but maybe she could cause some mental chaos, Maddy is a strong girl who could make it to the final 2 but Mona has a level of chaos that would just annihilate everyone.

Fun fact: When I decided to watch "New Moon" out of sheer boredom at university, I clicked on "Eclipse" instead because I didn't know the order of the films. And I didn't realize I was watching the wrong one until I noticed that Jacob had short hair. And that happens AFTER all of the whole thing with her mom, her dad, Seattle, and chasing Victoria. So yeah. You're 100% right. This movie needed a recap.

In Eastern European version of Twilight, Bella says she’s Poland

I was always team Jacob (when I was a teenager) and my aunt would always say that when I get older I'd become team Edward. I was ADAMANT that this was not going to happen. I'm now 24 and can confirm that I have moved over to team Edward

every time imprinting gets explained it reveals another layer of how ms meyer genuinely thought that it was like love and not incredibly creepy and horrific and terrifying, bc the whole business with depresso espresso bella is that she felt like edward was her whole reason for living. and now im waiting for a rowling-esque twitter blast of random ass retcons including bella was originally a werewolf and imprinted on edward in book one

YOURE ABSOLUTELY CORRECT MIKE, THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE.

whenever i watch mikes videos i feel like i’m in my besties room and they’re describing their favourite movie/show to me. love it

i WILL NOT have runaways slander.. that movie is iconic and you will regret implying its flop energy after watching it

i hope surfshark is paying mike more than usual for this ad because that connection between surfshark and the twilight plot was flawless

Mike could narrate the process of paint drying and I would watch.

You and Mina Le are becoming my two favourite channels on youtube. I feel that you both do pop culture commentary so well, albeit differently. Keep on rocking!

to address the Pants Man phenomenon, in the books it was explained that in the werewolf territory they dug cubby holes into trees that have a bunch of clothes in em in case a werewolf reverts back to a naked man in the middle of the woods. this would make sense if not for the fact that there’s probably Tree Clothes that are 30 years old and haven’t been washed in the same amount of time.

“huffing a bella scented candle” TOOK ME OUT

these movies do jacob SO dirty. in books 1 and 2 he is INCREDIBLE--even edward likes him, because he can read his mind and it's PURE. we learn that in midnight sun, which is twilight from edward's POV!! jacob is deadass out of character from eclipse onward, though--ms. meyer really said 'i'm gonna be soooooo anti-indiginous 😜😳🤪" and made him super aggressive and gross. it's genuinely upsetting. in new moon, THE BOOK, he knows her so well that he straight up doesn't mention edward even one time because he knows she's healing and he's waiting for her to bring him up, he cries when he talks about how his friends are changing and he doesn't understand it (like, when they're werewolves but he isn't and he's left out of the loop) and they have a really good conversation about that, he spends the whole book hanging out with her, totally no strings attached, because he just loves and respects her so much. i really do think that she made him a garbage man in eclipse because he was the better, healthier romantic option. book jacob >>>>>>> literally everyone else. argue with the wall

I’m loving the amount of kpop references in this video.. also immaculate choice for a twice poster babe they were slaying that album cover left and right

The confidently wrong energy in "Ba-ba-BA VERONICA" is peak girl boss

"I love the twilight movies. But my least favorite thing about the twilight movies, is the twilight movies" Iconic. Put that on a shirt Wolfstie

Every time Mike says Veronica when he means to say Victoria, it’s giving Riverdale Twilight AU, but obviously Veronica is Betty’s rival vampire with her power and influence over all the other vamps, but Betty’s trying to become a vampire to be with her edgy undead boyfriend, Jughead. Meanwhile, Archie is the major werewolf dogboy that’s being way too protective and fighting bears in the woods.

the worst thing about jacob and bella is that in the first movie/book bella is 17 and jacob is 15! BUT WHEN HE BECOMES A WEREWOLF THEY EXPLAIN IT LIKE “oh i physically age faster and then just slow down so i’m physically 20” SIR-

It is my deepest shame tht I once loved Jacob and Alice. Jacob is scary and Alice goes nothing but force Bella to do things she is uncomfortable with. Team Rosalie what an icon.

i remember watching this in the cinema and when jacob said "i am hotter than you" i yelled "yeah you are". i've to live with this for life

Listen, I stand by my point that Eclipse has story wise the most interesting parts and characters? Rosalie with her backstory? Pure genius. The love triangle between Emily, Leah and Sam (?)? Dramatic gold, just amazing. The whole army of the newborn vampires? Holy shit, amazing. But that love triangle between Edward, Bella and Jacob can go drown.

I saw the midnight premiere of this film and I DISTINCTLY remember the entire cinema losing it when Jacob dropped the “I am hotter than you” line

hearing the pretty little liars references in your other videos is giving me life and i love it. " miss Bella you're a killer not Ezras wife"

What I don’t understand about Alice’s powers is that Victoria made a decision to let someone else make decisions. So wouldn’t Alice have seen that? No? Also, Stephanie assassinated Jacobs character in this book because people liked him and Bella too much. :(

What I love so much about this is that, if you're not tuned in with Gen Z internet culture, you just wouldn't understand about 60% of what's happening. I stan.

I am LIVING for the Jacob slander 😭👏🏽 love this video and this series

I'm so late on this video but I love how much you focus on the non-bella parts of this. I need a full twilight recap that makes me forget bella swan exists and it's all just the vampire werewolf politics.

if euphoria had supernatural characters it would be simply riverdale

At this point, i would rather have Jacob and Edward go at it! I really do enjoy the rivals turned lovers trope in media

It really is amazing how the least interesting thing about Twilight is the actual story.

My manz kinda lookin elvish but also "That doth bring me to the end of the video" for some reason slayed me so. GG

I don’t have the attention span to finish my homework but I can watch Mike review a twilight movie for 27 minutes straight

I agree, I think the Volturi should be walking around with Birkin bags

I need Jacob HUMBLED. the way he keeps being so bold

“Welcome to Mike’s Mic, My name is Mike” Is… is that factual? Contractual?

“So the end of the movie is Bella and Edward in the field again, they fuckin LOVE the field, don’t they.” 😂

mike you always know the exact moment to upload when we need you most so thank you once again

Holy shit I didn’t even skip your sponsorship add because your analogies were just TOO perfect!

The amount of PLL references,,, those videos rewired ur brain and I’m not complaining

I feel like you missed several opportunities to have Jacob call Bella 'loca'

Mike’s annoyance with Jacob and him being Team Edward has solidified the fact that he is bestie to me

i love this movie because it gives you no breaks. also my mum once tried to rent a house and she kept calling the real state agent sebastián although he made it very clear his name was santiago and it's forever recorded on whatsapp video. so this gave me the same energy 🖤😎

I don't know if this is good writing or just off the top of your head improv storytelling, but 10/10. So good. I was going to comment my fav quotes but there were too many lol.

i am a proud charlienator, he was the only person with any sense in these movies

We are Team Alice and Team Emmett in this house. Edward is legit a stalker and Jacob is mighty pushy and aggressive

We need a movie with the aesthetics of Twilight but nothing else from Twilight

I’ve decided to subscribe. Cos I’m an old divvy and feel your humour is a gateway to understanding the youths. It’s also very funny content.