beastie taylor lautner really slayed that lacefront like a true girlboss

I personally dislike Twilight but Stephanie Meyers was being a fucking genius when she wrote depression as blank pages with only the name of the months, and New Moon turned this part of the book into movie form in an also very genius way

I still can't forget Jasper being a confederate soldier. Like why

“girl cut the shit, you’re flopping mentally”. and I felt that

MIKE SAY LOCA IF YOU’RE BEING FORCED TO GROW A MULLET

I’m sort of ashamed that Edward stripteasing to death was the most dramatic thing happening in my life once🙇🏾‍♀️

Bella is constantly giving us woah whoa whoa whoa whoa,,,,, lets pump it medium

the way Jasper reacts to a paper cut and cant control himself, like has no one at High school ever got a paper cut or worse

are we as society just going to ignore the fact that Bella had more chemistry with the entire fam instead of Eddie??

I want to see mike do the whole series for the sole purpose of discussing "YOU NICKNAMED MY DAUGHTER AFTER THE LOCH NESS MONSTER?!"

What i wanna know is how was miss bella not embarrassed at least once throughout this entire movie. I would simply pass away than to be carried home by a shirtless man after napping in my back garden

Ok so... If vampires stop physically aging, and they're turned while they're still teens/early 20's, does that mean their prefrontal cortex never matures????? 🤔🤔🤔 This would explain so much of this damn story

The soundtrack… made me who I am today. I would not be the person I am without experiencing Bella’s depression montage fr

the way dakota fanning’s career went bye bye after she ate being a vampire the industry was like she cannot top this we need her younger sister

This triggered all my PTSD (Post Twilight Stress Disorder) memories of my very own Italian Tour TM. Me and my parents went on holiday around Italy shortly after New Moon came out. I was like 15-16 and OBSESSED with it all. I managed to convince my parents to make Volterra one of the stops of our trip, the Italian hilltop town where all the Volturi stuff was set. Like I made them add it to the itinerary, pay for 2 nights in a hotel, all for the Twilight connection. Absolute clownery and I must hold my parents somewhat accountable for letting it happen 😂 Dragging my poor parents on the Twilight Tour of the city, with the poor Italian Tour guide who was clearly baffled by Twilight, and answering all of the trivia questions he asked us like the fangirl I was....truly one of my cringiest, darkest memories 😅😅😅 (I'm an only child - haha can you tell 😩 - so I wasn't even sharing this trip with like a similarly obsessed sister, just my utterly baffled middle aged parents.) To be fair, I'd still absolutely reccomended Volterra as a holiday destination, it was beautiful and had lots of interesting things and lovely food, and there's probably far fewer cringey Twilight fans around than there were in 2010 🤷‍♀️ But alas I can never return because I would combust out of pure cringe at my 16-year-old self.

"Twilight is anti Italian" best new take I've heard about this abomination

I feel like Bella would’ve listened relentlessly to 2004 Avril Lavigne and Paramore songs and I respect that

Bestie we need another video on Anna Kendrick’s grasp on society we don’t talk about that enough people need to open their third eye

This is the best twilight movie because Edward is barely in it and Jacob isn’t a trash panda yet - no I will not be getting feedback

14:37 “you’re flopping mentally” will be my yearbook quote

yall it's not the fact that bella's speaking wattpad... it's that wattpad's speaking bella

it is now twilight canon for me that mike was in italy for the entirety of the new moon italian scenes and he was just off camera experiencing his italian tour trauma

Omg when I was little and ignorant I was so gassed about Jacob's glow up but now that I think about it, the fact that they had a NATIVE character cut their hair to fit into the mainstream beauty standards for men and appeal more to the audience seems really gross. Like... The fetishization of indigenous people is so strong in this franchise it makes me ill. Edit: it is also illegal for anyone to go shirtless in Italy. So if the Volturi didn't get Edward then the Italian government certainly would.

HAHAHHA STOP. I’ve only seen these movies in Spanish, I never thought that “Bella, where the hell have you been loca” was ACTUALLY in the movie, I really thought people made a meme 😭

After binging michael microphone videos, he's now the voice of my subconscious

I can't believe twilight invented racism against Italians 😔

When we went to see Twilight in the cinema, one of my best friends in high school started crying when they played the 'turn off your phone, the movie is about to start' ad because "oh my god it's happening, we actually get to see the movie." Top ten iconic moments of my young life, I distinctly remember the ad was sponsored by Malteasers because that's what I still think of to this day every time I see a pack. Bestie if you happen to see this comment you know who you are 😂💕

I’ve spent my whole life not realizing Jacob called her loca. Why did he call her thatttt 😂😂😭😭 he’s supposed be indigenous not Spanish likeeeeee whaaaatt lmfaoooo

Alice was serving (as always) during her and Bella’s grand theft auto moment

Just an unholy reminder, this series is partially why 50 shades of grey exists.

Bella is literally like nobody like she contributes nothing to any friendship or relationship she has in any of the movies and everyone is so obsessed with her and will just like put their lives at risk for her and stuff it’s wild

i just finished writing my bachelor’s thesis about how the volturi are an authoritarian regime and anti-indigenous racism in twilight i am so overdosed on twilight yet still watching this (i think this is a compliment)

the pen and notebook are giving Professor Of Modern Literature and you’re serving up the New Moon Module 😌

bella's lullaby?? supermassive blackhole??? decode???? neutron star collision????? the serves that were served cos of the twilight franchise

I love the fact that in several parts of the series they forget to put in the special effect where Edward glows like diamonds. (Like in the fourth movie) 😂

I literally am personally offended by Alice's wardrobe in this entire film. The book explicitly states that she is extremely into fashion and I point-blank REFUSE to believe that a bad bitch like her would turn up to what is potentially her own death at the hands of vampire royalty in FUCKING FLATS? The gloves I love because they're a complete power move when you think that Aro needs skin contact for his powers to work but why give her the most hideous gloves in the history of colour television? The wardrobe department and costume designers need to be ashamed of themselves. I purposefully have not looked up their name(s) purely because I know my petty bitch ass will declare them my enemy.

Best part about this movie was counting how many lamps/light sources miss Bella had in her room during her depression era

I've got matching shirts w/ a friend that say "Bella, where the hell have you been loca?" in a pink heart.

at 11:12 you're asking why there are no umbrellas in this movie. it's pacific northwest cultural canon that we would all rather suffer in the damp than be seen anywhere near an umbrella. Shout out to Chris Weitz for the incredible research & attention to detail for this cinematic masterpiece

Mr. Mic you are so right in saying "get a degree. get several degrees. get a PhD." to Eddie Cullen. You know who is a superior vampire that preceded Dracula and is a lesbian? Carmilla Karnstein.

Who else wants a Mike's Mic video on Jennifer's Body???

This is an ode to tween me who used to dream about braiding Taylor Lautner’s wig 😭✊🏾

Fun fact: I live near Forks, WA. No one uses an umbrella actually we all just have good rain coats. I’m pro-umbrella, but it’s a weird regional pride thing plus the wind makes umbrellas useless most of the time

Went to the midnight premiere of this masterpiece as a 14-year-old. The experience was a cultural reset of my life

every now and then mike's legs will be visible and i'll be reminded that he's a real person

The amount of Nicki references in this video is a form of spiritual enrichment

I watched this one night, for the hell of it, at university. And I'm not ashamed to say that I think Michael Sheen and Graham Greene actually improved every scene they were in.

I low-key high key hate that at one point in my teenage existence I thought the twilight books were good… miss author Stephanie was really out here glorifying the MOST toxic of relationships and we all just ate it up like the 14 year old girlbosses that we were… I can’t

I am HUNGRY for the rest of these…the commentary on Resume will be glorious

There’s not a day that I don’t say to my best friend, Bella, the Jacob- where the hell have you been loca- quote

The way Edward turning Bella after marriage is a metaphor for chastity until marriage....the mormonism is mormoning

"I have not seen a single umbrella this movie" Yeah you wont see a lot of those in the pnw lol. Nobody having an umbrella is the most realistic part of this movie

cant believe you didnt mention the montage of the wolves hunting victoria with hearing damage playing in the background it slapped so hard

Bella's papercut was doing the most

the fact that mike included "eddie" as ed sheeran is so perfect. like, that mess of an era was made for this video

kristen stewart really deserved an oscar for sitting in that chair the way she did it was giving high art

I thought you were saying “eel moon” for longer than I care to admit

Bestie Stephanie Meyers is a wattpad writer with a publisher, I'm not surprised at the dialogues 👁️👄👁️

i can't believe we have access to Michelangelo's Microphone for free

This is how my fanfic version of Twilight happened from New moon and onwards: Bella spends her days suffering through #Depression #ScreamQueenSleepingBeauty phase until she slowly starts to Hate Edward for leaving her and being with Jacobs starts to heal her a bit. Her life starts getting back to normal UNTIL! Jacob invites her to go cliff jumping, and because of Jakes wolfie blindspot Alice thinks Bella commited "Sewer Slide" and go to Forks to confirm to which Bella sees her again and the scars of her emotional healing is just ripped open again and Bella is just not having it and want nothing to do with the Cullens. Of course Alice tries to be calm and talk some sense into Bella and during that a call comes on the phone Jacobs answers, of course its Edward, and Jacob being the petty Bestie he is tells Edward Bella is unalive and Alice tells them Edwards gonna Romeo himself and Bella just doesnt care because she wants him to feel the pain she was in when he dipped. But of course Alice convinces Bella to go with her to save Edward-begrudgingly- and they get thete, Edwards about to striptease the nation until Bella stops him. And when Edward tries to hug her, greatful that his one true love is alive, Bella stops him because she aint having it and that when the Volturi guards pull up and escort all of them into the great hall to meet the Slay leaders and their wigs of supremacy. And shit goes down. Instead of trying to protect Edward and like a crazy crackhead, Bella bargains with the Volturi after they witness her gift in action; she tells Aro she will let him turn her into a Vampire in exchange for Edward and Alices freedom *gasp! * And Aro is like yasss please! And accepts, but Edwards trifling ass tries to intervene, gets his skinny ass kicked by Tall Boi Felix and Bella hits him with some facts that she really isnt doing it for him, she's simply doing it not only because she wants to slay for all eternity BUT she wants to punish Edward for all eternity for breaking her heart and it will be his job to tell her dad he is the reason she "unalived herself" and the Volturi be in the corner silently cheering because girlboss Bella is kinda dark. And Edwards spendd the remainder for the fanfic trying to get Bella back while she living her best Vampire life😅 That is my AO3 version of this movie!

the new moon soundtrack deserves EVERY award pls

I watched this movie with my swim friends. It was the first social thing I did with them and if this movie had been better it would not have been the last.

My music taste has been FULLY formed by the Twilight soundtrack

pitch perfect defined a generation, i did sing the cup song (with the cup and everything) for a talent show and won, that movie was everything

My friend grew up in Italy and was part of the red coat crowd 😩❤️

Mike: You are flopping mentally. Me feeling attacked.

love that whenever you talk about ANY trait you have, you say "famously, i..", i truly can't get enough of it

I like how Mic says "famously" whenever he explains anything

Video posted 10 seconds ago? I'm faster than a vampire bestie🏃🏼‍♀️

The scene where VIctoria is running in the forest is a moment🤓

"Does Bella have health insurance?" This is the most iconic question I've ever heard in regards to this series! XD

last halloween my friends wanted to have a horror movie night but i am not a Horror Movie Girlie so i convinced them to just watch twilight instead and we ended up watching the entire franchise in a matter of days LMAO

we need more of mike doing an american accent

you are entitled to your onion bestie!!

The combined StayC / Loona reference that came out of nowhere gave me whiplash

Okay. But my film school production design teacher was the production designer for this movie and you KNOW he spent an entire class talking about the chair spinning scene and how he made that happen. He knew he deserved an Oscar for that.

The teen heartthrob of every teen girl back in 2009

I watched the movie just for this 💀

Your film commentary is literally the greatest thing on KZfaq, no one else can compare.

"Twilight is anti-italian" is now one of my favourite quotes

me when i see abbs: THIS PERSON is dehydrated

Lmao when you live in this corner of Washington, you give up on umbrellas. You are no longer affected by rain, it will be torrential thunderstorms and we'll still drive normally on the freeway 😂

That scene where the seasons change is one of the most memorable movie scenes in my brain and I'm not mad about it. Also I remember listening to the entire soundtrack when I was like 13 on my MP3 (yes my MP3) and every track is a solid choice 10/10

Stephanie Myers has a weird thing for being a younger girl (16) dating & older man whether 108 years or 25 (the host) it never fails in her books 😂

THIS SERIES IS EVERYTHING.

the way we telepathically connected to watch the series at the same time, i literally just finished new moon two days ago

We were talking about what colour we'd be at acting camp and someone said "a cloudy sky but with that blue filter from twilight over it" the timing of this video

"Jane is like, The Weeknd of vampires" so you could say she is, Vampire Weekend? Who were also in the soundtrack for Twilight Saga: Eclipse? If this isn't mentioned on your next Twilight video this is all rigged.

When I tell you this franchise had a grip on my prepubescent era. Mam I was sleeping with the windows open and my neck EXPOSED. I was the mc

Yesss Bestie get that bread we love to see a sponsorship

I screamed at "STAYC Girls, it is in fact going down"

Im in love with these longer videos, it doesn't have to be a well researched video essay but just you talking about something random for 20 minutes is the content we need

so glad willow is finally letting you be

The extra 24 hours on editing really shows and I am living for it

After twilight came out, the new moon book was completely sold out everywhere and obsessed teenage me made my mum travel to hell and back to find it so that I could obsess over it during my summer holidays. Lovely times. Also we demand part 3, 4 and 5.

The way I rewatched the saga last year (along with everyone joining in on the Twilight renaissance) and felt the depressed Bella montage to the core

the blue filter is what makes the first movie so good. that’s legitimately the only reason why, but it’s still effective. when they started using normal colors the entire story was ruined 🙄

The best part of New Moon is the fact that Edward *didn't* leave Bella in the middle of the woods - they were right behind her house! She could look back and be like "dead boyfriend is gone, Imma go cry in my bedroom forever now" but NO. Girl deliberately chose to try and follow her superfast ex-boyfriend into the woods only to trip on some shit and lay there. Love that dumb shit.

for anyone wondering, the intro song used in the title card is The Wire by HAIM, its a bop

"I want you to feel the feeling of listening to ASAP by STAYC." - mike, Aug 22 2021