Re the first guy: how are you dating a musician and have no idea how expensive these things are. Like how inattentive are you as a boyfriend.

The second person: The mom was the one telling the story and it still sounded bad. Imagine how bad it actually is for the girl.

"am i the a-hole?" "Yes."

No parents should put a "lover" over their child. Her mother put her in that situation, moving into a man's house that you know for three months. You decided to have a child you should be for them first. You are prioritizing your love life over your own kid. Your child will remember that,

The second story really pissed me, the mother is putting the boyfriend above the daughter. Move together is a big step, they clearly didn't think enough before. The mother comes with a daughter and the daughter with a violin, if the sound annoys him then they shouldn't live together yet

2nd story is wild. Music aside, why are you moving your child into someone else's home and maintaining that it's that person's home only? A child should feel comfortable and feel like they actually belong where they live.

5:25 Poor kid. Her music obviously means a lot to her, and being 15, she doesn't have any input in choosing her home environment. And with a raging fight like that before an audition....of course she didn't make it. Keep going, girl. 8:00.... it IS her home too, and not by her choice.

The best thing about playing the piano: it's nearly indestructible The worst thing? Literally every single human being entering your home *will* try to "play" it

Panicked when i saw “Girlfriend” in the title because there are only 40 hours in a day, theres no time for her

The daughter with the audition story kinda sucks because when they took it she would obviously get pissed. When you are pissed, it makes doing stuff right hard, and makes it easy to get frustrated. As a result, the daughter probably botched the audition, and that could've been the difference between making it and not

Story 2: major asshole. This is more than an issue of scheduling practice time. There are serious deeper issues going on with mom: 1) moving her 15 year old teenage GIRL into a stranger’s home after 3 months of dating 2) calling this stranger a “stepfather.” 3) Neglecting the emotional welfare of her daughter’s needs to feel secure in her own home. (Mom’s made it clear it’s her BOYFRIEND’s home.) 4) Poor boundaries. She’s likely suffering from codependency issues, what with the rush to move in with a stranger, and safety risks to her daughter be damned.

The second reddit question: BOYFRIEND CAN BUY A PAIR OF SONY NOISE CANCELLING HEADPHONES. Problem solved. The problem is so simple if that guy wanted to make an effort.

Re: second person - why did she refer to BF as her daughter's _"stepfather"_ they're not _married_ they've been dating for _3 months_ according to a comment?? And it doesn't sound like BF respects the daughter either, that's a whole 15 year old who he literally doesn't even seem to want to know. I think they're being too kind to him and to the mom who prioritised her BF above her daughter and for me it was an immediate YTA. I can imagine how much not having that sense of security must have thrown off the the poor girl's audition.

I’m more concerned that first guy left a 10 year old and an 8 year old unattended for ONE HOUR while he hung out at his neighbor’s house doing whatever - killing brain cells judging by his reasoning abilities. Take some responsibility!

That daughter story kind of makes me wary of the whole situation. Like, the mom wanted to take the next step, but she clearly told her daughter that this was *the boyfriend's* house, meaning she has no personal/private space to do anything in. Where else is she going to go to practice? How often does this man work/what are his sensibilities, because if just plucking the strings and hearing the bow made him mad, I don't know if I believe that the daughter had time to practice, especially if the boyfriend was there.

Alternative title: Twoset giving relationship advice for 17 mins

the people who did not want to pay for music lessons probably are the people who thought they can learn piano using solely simply piano lmao

I was in a very similar situation as the teen in the second story. The mother was absolutely in the wrong on multiple levels and should be ashamed of herself for being so disrespectful AND allowing her daughter to be disrespected by her boyfriend. I'm in my 30s and I still feel anxious practicing because my stepfather was like that and it really makes you feel like your music has no value and is just an annoyance to people, even people who are supposed to love you. Sometimes listening to people practice can be hard on the ears, but it's a sacrifice you make to support someone you love and respect. Kids, ESPECIALLY TEENAGERS, need support, even when they're being obnoxious. I hope that girl has support from other people because she's obviously not getting it at home.

i feel so bad for the daughter in the second story. she probs didn't have a say on the move in the first place. she should be her mom's first priority but sounds like the mom only cares about her bf.

'played at weddings' **canon in d intensifies**

Can we just appreciate the fact that they are losing their minds every video but still it's so I N T E R E S T I N G and smart?

I feel bad for the girl who can't play while mom's boyfriend is home. Probably he is away at work at the same time that she is away at school for the most part. Noise cancling headphones would be good. But also IT IS THE MORNING OF HER AUDITION. You'd think that some concessions could be made. I'd be shaking mad as well. No wonder she bombed it.

That violin bow story reminded me of when my mom left my cousins unattended around my piano. Came back home and saw one of the key ends was chipped off and they were wearing innocent faces

Everyone is shook bc on the violin getting broken in the 1st story, but I'm more concerned about the fact he left two KIDS alone in a house for a whole hour, even he was near the house we never know what can happen, especially with kids

The woman taking away her daughter’s violin really pissed me off. The thing is that she was the person who wanted her daughter to move in with the old 7ass boyfriend, yet she chose the old man instead of her very own daughter when there was a conflict between them. If the person I’m in a relationship with treated my daughter like that, I don’t think I can still love that person

Brett and Eddy are far more mature than half of the adults whom I know. Edit: I chose my words poorly. I know that Brett and Eddy are adults. I meant to say that many adults are nowhere nearly as mature.

Eddy:Am I an A** hole? Brett:(no hesitation at all)YES!!

Hah.. that first dude.. "I thought my sister would have to pay for the fee..." because YOU gave them the violin to play with.. WOw.. talk about a guy with NO sense of respect or responsibility. Edit: Well, at least he had the decency to do the right thing in the end. That deserves some respect.

Totally disagree on the 2nd one. The mother and boyfriend of course are legally allowed to set rules in their house but this is about whether they are a-holes or not, and they seem extremely inconsiderate of the daughter's hobby and seem like they prioritize each other over the kid. Terrible parents. I feel bad for the daughter.

3 seconds and I'm already done🤣🤣🤣: - Am I the a$$hole? - YES!!! That's what I call true friendship!!! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

The second story has me completely on the daughter’s side, she’s 15 and like any kid pushed into a corner is lashing out in retaliation. The situation escalated when it did not need to be by the mother and the partner. Also I’d like to ask; the rule was that she was only allowed to practice when 1) the boyfriend wasn’t home & 2) when she had time during these hours (unspoken but true) It sounds like he was working from home, taking virtual meetings & doing projects in his home office, since the daughter is 15 she is still attending regular school (online or in-person), so if we assume he’s actually leaving the house between 9-5 (even though he seems to be at home mostly) and she’s at school during this same time when would she have time to practice properly (at least an hour I’d say). I personally blame the mother and partner for not just giving her a scheduled time slot in the day where she can practice at home, maybe they should take her to practice somewhere outside the flat so she can be as loud as she wants or even just buying some sound-proofing/blocking to reduce the noise. Overall a very poorly managed situation. Also if you and your kid move into a flat with a new partner then it’s not just his home anymore it’s your home, the daughter isn’t a guest at the boyfriend’s place for the weekend, she lives there and it’s now her home too. Stop treating her like she’s a nuisance and get your priorities straight!

I think the biggest problem here is that people who are not directly connected to art (I mean doing it not just appreciate) do not understand that the art is not only a delightful music, drawings etc it is also a lot a pain during the time required to master it. So when they see how musicians practice they do not expect that it wouldn't sound that delightful and start to dislike it. Like I think that that singer's bf would love her singing if he heard the complete version of the clip but when he hears her practice it gets annoying

I can't understand women who put boyfriends above their children. Boyfriends come and go. The children are yours forever and it's your job to cherish and love them. I would never put a man above my children. Any man I date knows from the start that my children come first. If he is not ok with that, then it's bye-bye boyfriend. Like the saying goes: Boyfriends are like busses. There's another one right around the corner.

Usually in this subreddit, the answer is "yes, you are" and somehow they didn't even learn from it.

13:51 'this sentence is gramatically correct, but it is wordy and hard to read' *hey grammarly sponsor them now

Imagine being 15 and you have to move in with your mom's boyfriend and get constantly reminded that its HIS home, not yours. Poor baby. It's not just about the violin (I don't think it's unreasonable to have to wait until he's gone or to tell her off for breaking that rule when he has a presentation), but it's about consistently making sure your daughter knows she's a burden and doesn't really have a place in her home. Also, yeah, the daughter was out of line in telling him to go to the lobby, but given that this kid has had to move in with him, change her circumstances, and abide by his rules, you'd think he'd attempt to be more accommodating and make her feel valued by him. In this case where she had an audition, he should have OFFERRED to go elsewhere just this once.

I haven't been this early since Ling Ling played viola

Can we just take a moment to appreciate how good they both look in that video?! Damn 😂

2nd story.... How can you possibly know someone enough to move in with them after 3 months holy crap. This mother has no self respect and no respect for her daughter. It seems like there are many issues here. Moving in with a boyfriend after 3 months, with that large age difference dragging her daughter into it.

As someone who currently analyses these kinds of problems in ethics class, this video is really cool

The mother story about her daughter and her boyfriend sounds frustrating. I empathize with the girl the most because she clearly told she needed to practice. And I feel like she wasn't taken seriously. And I also understand the boyfriend needing quiet place to work because I am also the same. But I really question for how long does he work. How may hours does he work? How much hours can the 15 year old practice based on that? And how many hours of practice does she need? But also it is an apartment. When you live in a apartment it is really hard to completely have quiet time. You are also almost working around other people's schedule. I have a big family and we often complain about having quiet time and alone time to do our own thing. We found a way where everyone is happy. But there is never truly alone or quiet time. Despite my need to work in silence I have adapted to everyone's work. I am not sure how long they have have been living together. Though we can assume not long. Also, I believe the mother could have told the boyfriend before hand that the daughter plays the violin and needs to practice often. Then he could have figure a way to work with that. Or noise canceling headphones. Though, we don't know enough context to determine who is right or wrong. I would say that if the mother really wants to commit to this and the boyfriend. They all should be mindful and considerate to everyone even the 15 year old daughter. And adapt based on that. Entering a new relationship and a relationship that involves a child from previous one is a big commitment. Cause it is not just between two people (boyfriend and girlfriend) you are also involving a child who at 15 has become an individual, has started boundaries,needs, wants, and their own responsibilities. So the mother and boyfriend has to respect that as well. The 15 year old has no say in the relationship or the environment they are surrounded by. Often or not the child is treated with disrespect because they are "young" and therefore have no say. But clearly the child is old enough that they are their own individual and have their own boundaries, responsibilities, and needs that needs

twoset when someone touches someone else's instrument : DON'T DO THAT (so triggered)

I just wanna congratulate Brett, Eddy, and the whole TwoSet Apparel team on their new collection. They really put so much effort on their brand, it makes me wanna buy! 💛 best of luck to our hardworking boys!!

Is nobody going to talk about how good Eddy looks with that chain of his?

The amount of anger I have towards the mom from the second story is insane. How dare she bring her daughter into a strange place, insist that she doesn’t belong, and still expect her to have a shred of respect for the “house rules”. You shouldn’t ever prioritize your boyfriend or husband or whomever you’re dating over your child. The boyfriend can leave you if they’re unhappy, the child can’t.

bro the guy left for AN HOURR??!! THE VIOLIN BEING WITH KIDSSS WITH 0 EXPERIENCE WITH AN INSTRUMENT (probably)! . you're lucky they didn't eff up the violin and the only thing damaged was the bow :)) i would have started crying if anything happened to violin-chan, lmao T_T

Today I had my last concert with my orchestra teacher, he's moving this year and he's been at our school for 7 years. I'm also moving. It was a virtual concert and right after the livestream cut off he just said thank you to all of us really quietly and his voice was shaking because he was about to cry, it was the sweetest thing ever. Once he said that we were all either about ready to cry or already crying, tonight was a really happy but also sad night, and I'm going to miss him a lot, he is seriously the best orchestra teacher ever.

Not only are they talented musicians but insightful thinkers on relationship dynamics. Get your own advice column, boys!

Wow, as an artist, we share the same pain with musicians. The stuff needed to paint/draw is expensive as heck. I swear art is expensive in any form.

Welcome back to another episode of TwoSetCounselling

NO JOKE about the bow! my bow is 8K. I never let anyone come near any of my instruments (except my pianist plays my piano). You are right. They are sacred. It isn't JUST their cost, it's the search to find them. You can have all the money in the world, and not find a violin or bow that you love. When you fall in love, you want that instrument/bow to be with you for a lifetime.

Poor daughter, I'm not a musician but as an empath i could feel her frustrations in her orchestra audition. 🥺

Oh man that last one...now I'm imagining this poor girl just playing Heart and Soul and minding her own business and her uncle barging in like "HOW SELFISH OF YOU TO KEEP THESE MASTERFUL SKILLS TO YOURSELF!" A bit funny but definitely grotesque

Moving in after only 3 months is just crazy! Until I was 18, my mom never told me she dated someone for a _year_ back when I was in 6th grade or smth. I never noticed it, because mom thinks you shouldn't tell the kids until you're sure it's really a long-term relationship, to keep the home environment more stable. Parents dating new people is hard enough on a kid and this mom just took that to a whole other level. Shows zero respect for her daughter.

I can understand the pain and and sorrow that young woman went through when her violin and bow were taken away. My parents really care about studying and getting good marks, but I had an audition for a scholarship coming up so I practiced more than I studied. Sometimes for hours on end. Eventually my mum told me that I wasn’t allowed to touch the piano, listen to music or compose for a week, except for when I had lessons. This was such a big blow to me and it completely ruined me for the week. Ironically, I actually got less study done because I was so depressed about it. When I was finally allowed to play again, my hands were shaking so much I could barely play, so I just sat there, looking at the keys with my head in my hands. I would never suggest doing such a thing to a musician. We value our music and our instruments so much that when they are taken away from us, we feel so empty inside, as if there can never be happiness, let alone emotion in life again.

I love how most of their solutions is by talking. Showing how healthy their relationship is 😭

the first thing i hear: “am i the a**hole?” me: ....this is gonna be interesting.

The first story... I wonder if they still seeing each other. If I was her, I would dump him right after buy a new bow...

The art of the deal: - I'll pay you $7.25 an hour to teach my son cello. -You must be joking! I pay MY teacher $40. But because I'm not as good as him, and because you're friends of the family, I'll give you a special offer: $30. - What ?! We're not THAT rich... OK... $12. -$25, and that's as low as I can go. -$15, take it or leave it. -$20? -Fine...$20...Can you be here at 4 pm tomorrow? -Sure...BTW does your son have a cello? -Oh...we need to supply the cello?

"I didn't like my daughter's tone" SIS SHE WOULDN'T SPEAK IN THAT TONE IF YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER. sheesh, some parents-

i agreed with everything b&e said, especially when they addressed the ambiguity of these situations - but i will say, the story of that person who got asked to do lessons for $7 an hour? i probably would've answered the exact same way lmaooo

The second case sounds more like "the house rules only apply to the only minor who clearely can't help but to make noise when she practices". Her mother sounds like an a$$ putting her daughter in that situation with a man she's been dating for some months.

I came here faster than an Asian mother could brag about her 4 year old son with a master's degree in Harvard

I can't stop looking to Eddy's necklace

eddy's emotional maturity really coming out this episode

Is it me or is there a lot of psychoanalysis going on in this video. That was a good twoset therapy session.

Was so confused about the change of the thumbnail, thought for a second i've missed a twoset video XD

Their reaction to the first story is incredibly validating. My parents got me an upright piano for Christmas when I was younger and I played it all the time. Once my cousin was born, my parents decided they were the ones who could allow my cousin to play it. Even after I had time and time again asked them to not let her play it. I understand a piano is a little sturdier than a violin, but not only do I just not trust children in general, the fact that they weren’t respecting my boundaries really upset me. There were even multiple kid sized keyboards I used growing up that she could’ve used as much as she liked. Now I keep my new weighted keyboard in my room and lock the door when I’m not there.

I never knew Brett & Eddy had minors in psychology. They are soooo good at figuring out the root of these problems!

In high school I taught a friend guitar for $20/half hour (all encompassing lessons). When I was in my early 20’s my dad voluntold me to teach the kids I was babysitting guitar and piano for free, for which he kind of made up the difference ($15/half hour together). Their parents were upset they weren’t getting any better, but they also were telling them NOT to practice at home. So glad I dropped them.

The boys seemed very fair with their judgements! But also it has me wondering if I'll ever be in sad toxic situations like this in the future. "Am I going to be the ass hole?" (ponders quietly and with fear)

You can soundproof the room so that something FAR louder than violin playing wont be heard in the next room, like wtf how is that that big of a problem.

18 seconds ago, but I can't even watch right now lmao

The merch is gorgeous. You've outdone yourselves. And yeah, I enjoy reading these AITA stories. People end up in weird situations when they don't communicate enough or appreciate each other enough. So this was double the entertainment because of your thoughtful comments. Thank you! :D

The second one with mom taking violin away, I’m over here yelling “why isn’t she taking the daughter’s side!!!!!” 🤬 Woman choosing her boyfriend over her kids are not deserving of respect in my opinion. 🤯🤬🤬

How houserules should be set up: When I was 13, my dad remarried after my mom died. My new stepmom formerly played bass in the local orchestra. She calmly informed me when she first moved in that her 100+ year old bass was worth more than my life. I never touched it. Avoided looking or even breathing in its general direction, too.

My sister wanted me to teach her kids and I agreed but I can't do it regularly and every time she says things like "so you don't care about us right?", "it was your responsibility" etc. Once I wanted to quit because it started to get me mentally and she said the same thing... Gosh I feel awful...

I love episodes where you two just sit and talk and spill tea 🍵

AITA for only practicing 39 hours a day?!?!?

they sure do know a lot about healthy relationships

The house rules: My violin is a sacred object. Qodesh. Haram. Tapu. Kapu. You touch it, you die.

alt title: twoset reasoning being 100%

Am I the a hole? I'm a pianist (15yo) and I just started learning the violin and I bought the violin with my own money that I earned by teaching piano lessons to some kids, my cousin who's 10 played with my piano with his dirty oily unwashed hands and broke my bow I freaked out and my mom blamed me for leaving my case open and not closing the piano lid. Every adult in my family blamed me and said he's just a kid. I cried cuz the violin I bought with my hard earned money was broken yet my mother said I'm being childish and being too dramatic.

The way they’re so rational and articulate themselves so well is *chef’s kiss* I support the right men!!

AYYYY ROUND TWO NOT THE QUALITY CONTENT WE WANTED BUT WE NEEDED

The story about the daughter who had her violin taken made me very angry. Based on limited information, I concluded that the boy freind was working from home. That means she might have limited or inconsistent time to practice. I would find it very hard to severely cut down on time with my pride and joy to satisfy my moms boyfriend that she had only known for 3 months. Additionally, depending on the situation before the daughter and her mom moved in, I could see some assumed resentment towards the boyfriend based on the relationship with her former fatherly figure ended. So in short, YTAH for taking violin, and the boyfriend ITAH for making rules that restrictive against playing violin, and the daughter ITAH for not practicing lol. *ALL MY OPINION*

remember every minute u spend with a girl could have been a minute practicing

Second question (imho): parents most probably are the assholes. The mom moved in to the boyfriend's house. That was THEIR decision, not the daughter's. The daughter just followed the mother. They should've at least considered about the daughter playing the violin. If they don't have a proper solution regarding that, then they shouldn't move in in the first place. They were just dating for 3 months too, they're hurrying so much and being inconsiderate of the daughter. The boyfriend could've bought earmuffs too if he wanted to have some peace.

So for the second AITA, imo not sure how it could work out but perhaps the boyfriend could install noise cancelling furnishings in the daughter's room. And he could probably wear noise cancelling earphones on top of that. Or alternately the mom could bring her to a park for practice? (Depends on the daughter's comfort level)

It definitely doesn't sound like the women with the child really thought it through with anyone, even the daughter. They all have needs and wants and they all need to be addressed when a family comes together. Smh

I used to avoid that sub because most of the entries make my blood boil lol but maybe I'll give it a visit today

I just went through 2 whole ads without skipping I hope you guys know how much I love your channel

A lot of people are calling the second mum an asshole, and I agree. Also I have another point: Let's assume(as eddy said,) that the daughter had a 7-hour window to practice. I'm pretty sure that the boyfriend's work hours and her school hours could coincide. Also, it is very exhausting to practice an instrument directly after school, rushing because you have a time limit. Musicians should be able to practice when they want. Clearly a very negligent mother. Also , it seemed to me that the daughter telling the dad to work in the lobby was probably more of a suggestion than a retort. She obviously can't practice in the lobby but it would be very possible for her "stepdad" to rush through his work there quickly and come back.

Everyone's talking about the 2nd story lol but deservedly so, there really wasn't much empathy for the 15 year old who just moved in to some other dude's home and suddenly there's all these new rules, the parent look like they didnt even tried to understand that it could be tough for her daughter and didn't even seem to actually help them look for options, rly sad to see

2nd story: "I just ask that you respect him and his home" I can already see the mother is gonna be using this as a catchphrase to justify anything and everything. No matter how unfair or unjust. Already see it. I can understand taking away something like xbox or tv... But your daughters violin? That's like taking away food, it's like taking away education. Music is on a much higher level than things like xbox and tv and taking it away is akin to cruelty. Even WITHOUT the easy fix of noise cancelling headphones, if I were the boyfriend I would find a way to deal with it. I would even put up with it. As the boyfriend I would understand that the daughter and her violin playing is (in this case) "part of the girlfriend package" so to speak. As for the mother... If you're not gonna fight for your child and instead prioritize your 3 MONTH OLD BOYFRIEND... *sigh* ... Then you never should have had a child in the first place. Never should have had a kid. Eddy says that there isn't enough information here to make an unbiased judgment and that may be true. But it's the little things in between the lines that hint that the mother is in the wrong. The obvious one is that she uses the phrase "Love of my life" and "Stepfather" when talking about the boyfriend. She never uses it in reference to her own child. George Carlin once said something in one of his sets that I will always remember: "Language always gives you away." Using that kind of language is an indication that she worries that just by having a child she's worried that that reduces the chances of the boyfriend wanting to stay with her. I guarantee you that in the back of her head she's worrying about that. I Guarantee you.

eddy’s fit with that necklace and cardigan combo?? SHEEEEEEESSSSHHH 🥶🥶

I want every musician to give an individual lecture to the first guy.

I sympathize with the second girl, it reminds me of my stepfather. It's important to feel secure, safe, and valued in a new home. We don't know the whole story, but as the adults I feel the mom and boyfriend were in the wrong. The boyfriend needs to respect the daughter's emotional needs and understand that she was just uprooted. 🙅 I'd be so insecure if I felt I was walking on eggshells.

Number 3 makes me really appreciate how supportive my gf is. We very recently moved in together and I started violin about 2 weeks ago, and she’s always encouraging me even though it sounds awful and loud. She’ll pick on my playing sometimes but it sounds better every day and she hasn’t complained once.

One of the things I want in my life is a soundproof room.