My Daily Routine as a Recovering Addict

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Taylor Dean Vlogs

Taylor Dean Vlogs

4 жыл бұрын

hello thank u for watching !!!! i've never filmed one of these "a day in my life" videos, and decided to do one now that so much has been changing in my life. Due to the timing, i decided to shape it around my recovery from active addiction. But in addition to this just show my daily life with my animals n such. ***ALSOOO i forgot to edit in the bit where i turn all my animals lights on but in the morning i also turn in bindi's, twisty's, and sabor's lights. woops.
credit to / billwurtz for the piece of garbage audio during the intro lmao :')
*This video isn't about how addiction works, but just about my own experience, but my next two videos on this channel will discuss the cycle of addiction and how it works, and looking back on a timeline of the progression of my own illness!*
i also talk in this video about what early recovery looks like in general, and the steps commonly followed to take advantage of everything the recovery community has to offer (I include a timestamp in the video to skip this part if ur not interested in this information).
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MAIN CHANNEL: / @taylorndean
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ok i'm aboutta rant because i'm super passionate about all of this lol
****I state this in the video as much as I can, but the list of steps i mention are only suggestions to take advantage of every layer of programs that the recovery community has to offer to transition you back into daily life, they are by no means a list a person MUST follow to achieve sobriety. This list just offers the most opportunities to help you, because it starts you in the most protection (rehab) and slowly gives you more and more time back to your personal life outside of recovery so you can stay safe. Rehab is only the first step, not a solution to your problem. Discovering you battle addiction isn't like coming down with the flu, seeing a doctor, and being sent on your way to jump right back into life as normal. It's an illness you have to learn how to manage continuously and will continue to present itself in your life even when you are sober. Due to this, rehab will get you sober, but not keep you sober. What you do when you leave rehab is what really will determine your success, which is why even though all these programs may seem like a lot, they really do shape you for success by giving you so much support in your day-to-day life and personal challenges. Again, I'm not saying you need to do everything on this list. Some people can manage sobriety just by going to occasional meetings and seeing a personal therapist. Others need a lot more help. the illness of addiction is a spectrum and some people don't need as much "treatment" as others, and no matter where you are on the scale there IS help and you CAN accomplish sobriety!

Пікірлер: 5 200
@taylordeanvlogs7088
@taylordeanvlogs7088 4 жыл бұрын
Thank u everyone for watchin. I messed up with a lil bit of the editing but oh well. Also forgot to put the caption under the part with my hedgehogs saying they’re getting a bunch more enrichment for their new cage. Whenever I move back out they’re being going in their old 160gallon cage, it’s just temporary! Also I forgot to edit in the clip of me turning the lights on in the morning I think ??? (I didn’t see it so if I missed it nvm) ps I got my shirt from omighty clothing for those asking!!! ❤️ ANYWAYS, new video on my main channel in about 3 days and then hopefully again on Sunday, and then another second channel video next week. Love you guys thank you again 🥺🥺
@saveriopanaccione996
@saveriopanaccione996 4 жыл бұрын
Taylor Dean Vlogs your so beautiful
@BornAgainFarmGirl
@BornAgainFarmGirl 4 жыл бұрын
Taylor we are here to see how your doing , not your edits . Some of the latest skin treatments are actually really hard on your skin and can cause premature aging . You’re beautiful naturally , a real cutie 🥰 .
@robertmoore1123
@robertmoore1123 4 жыл бұрын
I have a friend in recovery and in drug court. I know it's hard as hell. Most poeple just don't know how hard it is ...n
@Nicole-qh4qz
@Nicole-qh4qz 4 жыл бұрын
U go sis. Also ur short hair is so badass, you look like female kobain (sorry if youve heard that before 😩)
@Asmith121209
@Asmith121209 4 жыл бұрын
You are gorgeous and an inspiration! Whenever I feel down I watch your videos bc they always make me feel better.
@aesthetickait31
@aesthetickait31 4 жыл бұрын
“I don’t go out much in my life so if I’m gonna look hot for my therapy. I’m gonna look hot for my therapy.” This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever heard.
@HettieB8
@HettieB8 4 жыл бұрын
Isn't it 😂😂😂😂😂
@marthanewsome6375
@marthanewsome6375 4 жыл бұрын
So guess you are just it's all about me person. Hope you don't have pets or children.
@minahraven1190
@minahraven1190 4 жыл бұрын
@@marthanewsome6375 or maybe they're not and you're just judging on one simple comment, with no knowledge of their reasoning or background.
@worshipcatalyst1
@worshipcatalyst1 4 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I dress up for my support group. It's rad.
@behappy9591
@behappy9591 4 жыл бұрын
@@marthanewsome6375 if you feel like that then stay off her channel it's not that hard. People don't need to hear your negative at all. She is getting her life together. So if you don't got nothing nice to say then DNT say shit at all. Better yet stay off her channel.
@trackgurl123
@trackgurl123 4 жыл бұрын
Ugh. I felt that hygiene part. It's so hard to get out of bed and shower in a severe depression. It's the worst. You're brother quoting The Waterboy was EVERYTHING.
@kms1011
@kms1011 4 жыл бұрын
Luc same. I can go days (even weeks when i’m in a really bad place) without showering, But i always brush my teeth.
@trackgurl123
@trackgurl123 4 жыл бұрын
@Luc that is the one thing I will do. Brush my teeth. But shower...or brush out this curly hair..or putting on clothes...nope. lol
@themelissaeileen
@themelissaeileen 4 жыл бұрын
I love Tanner so much!! ❤️
@chesseeggspotatoes2420
@chesseeggspotatoes2420 4 жыл бұрын
Y’all nasty. Go wash that ass 😂
@iLoveTheBamx
@iLoveTheBamx 4 жыл бұрын
Chesseeggs&potatoes lol wish it was that easy. Easier said that done tbh
@Mountaingrly2513
@Mountaingrly2513 3 жыл бұрын
“I don’t go out much but if I’m going to look hot for my therapy, then I’m going to look hot for my therapy.” As an introvert I felt this.
@desertgirl3374
@desertgirl3374 2 жыл бұрын
Same
@kaylynzamora
@kaylynzamora 2 жыл бұрын
Same
@qluna6837
@qluna6837 4 жыл бұрын
The hardest thing for me was guilt. After getting sober all the guilt just hit me.
@jennharper872
@jennharper872 4 жыл бұрын
Oh my gosh I know right like I've been sober for a year and legit when I started feeling guilty it was a week before my Birthday in March. 2019 I cried so much.
@leahyao9414
@leahyao9414 4 жыл бұрын
I agree as well, the guilt is the worst part of sobriety. However, it kills me using as well. So there's literally no reprieve for me either way. The only difference is that sober I know that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing for my kids. When I'm using, the fact that I'm still fucking my kids off is a huge part the guilt so it's terrible to feel everyday. But then I know I did it to myself so I think I deserve to feel the way I do and it's a vicious cycle.
@elizabethvaughn5694
@elizabethvaughn5694 4 жыл бұрын
Yoooooo yes. I'm 3 years sober and I can still start sobbing if I think about what I put my mother thru. It breaks my heart. the pure and utter shaaame is unbearable
@romama647
@romama647 3 жыл бұрын
Dam. it hurts. but I guess it helps to see I'm not alone after reading this small thread
@qluna6837
@qluna6837 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve been clear for years. I didn’t want to count the days or years but I know it’s more then four years. Now I crave being sober, there’s was a point I never thought I’d stop doing drugs. Now I can’t imagine not being sober.
@sacredsiren
@sacredsiren 4 жыл бұрын
The fact that she called it a "cow outfit" and not a "cowfit" is a tragic missed opportunity
@elsab379
@elsab379 4 жыл бұрын
sacredsiren i guess you could call it a missed steak
@kennedychristina4226
@kennedychristina4226 4 жыл бұрын
elsa b 🤣🤣🤣
@whitneyisanerd
@whitneyisanerd 4 жыл бұрын
@@elsab379 You deserve a standing ovation.
@sythepie
@sythepie 4 жыл бұрын
yes
@RikaMakara
@RikaMakara 3 жыл бұрын
Also tragic, instead of pecan comic, they missed the opportunity to say “pecomic.” Bahahaaa!
@ChantelleSchmidlin
@ChantelleSchmidlin 4 жыл бұрын
I love how she still cares so much about her animals even tho she has to really care about herself.
@JoeBlow-ub1us
@JoeBlow-ub1us 4 жыл бұрын
animals help trust me
@ethereal1216
@ethereal1216 4 жыл бұрын
she isn’t taking the best care of her pets though
@UnderworldSelene01
@UnderworldSelene01 4 жыл бұрын
Um her pets die like flies.. there is tons of proof how bad she treat animals
@renatagoncalves4576
@renatagoncalves4576 4 жыл бұрын
@@UnderworldSelene01 she did when she was still using drugs, she rehomed 12 animals and is trying to take better care of them. come on, she was ill, this is not a joke. did you watch her first video about it? she literally said that she bought too many animals, she was kinda manic.
@renatagoncalves4576
@renatagoncalves4576 4 жыл бұрын
people have no empathy for her situation, omg
@joi1346
@joi1346 3 жыл бұрын
I relate to this so much, when you’re mom said “you’re all clean” it made me happy, when I was in rehab my mom called to check on me and when the nurse told her I was in the shower she cried, i hadn’t been taking care of myself in so long, it meant so much to her just that I was showering. Keep up the good work, 3 years clean here, we’re so proud of you!
@mariiamghazy
@mariiamghazy Жыл бұрын
Hope all the best for you!
@briannavictoria7252
@briannavictoria7252 4 жыл бұрын
i'm not an addict, but i do have severe depression and anxiety. i started watching this while still laying in bed at 1pm, and it motivated me to get up and eat something. i even threw my sheets in the dryer and took my medicine. you are doing so well considering the hell youre probably going through, thank you for sharing your journey like this
@Sam-rn9di
@Sam-rn9di 4 жыл бұрын
You mentioned that the last step of recovery is to continue attending meetings as often as life allows. It made me think of my aunt. She has been sober for 30 years now. She still attends meetings twice a week diligently. Won't make plans on those afternoons because "I already have meeting." My aunt can honestly say she does not have cravings anymore. She still goes for the people like you Taylor, and all of the other young people who may feel lost in their recovery. She goes to meetings to show young recovering addicts that 30 years of sobriety is POSSIBLE and that addiction is not a death sentence. I am so proud of her. I'm proud of you too, Taylor. I can only imagine how difficult recovery must be when you are in the limelight like this.
@KaylaRene
@KaylaRene 4 жыл бұрын
Same with my dad. He'll have 19 years in February. (God willing; I know there are no fronts in recovery.)
@Mini-rt8bm
@Mini-rt8bm 4 жыл бұрын
Wow love this!!!
@jazwhoaskedforthis
@jazwhoaskedforthis 4 жыл бұрын
Yo, tell her she’s probably saving lives just by doing that. I’m sure she probably knows though
@j.sargent9172
@j.sargent9172 4 жыл бұрын
I'm 3 weeks clean, cold turkey. First time in 5 years
@mikaella.mikaaa
@mikaella.mikaaa 4 жыл бұрын
Keep going
@leonaswift3834
@leonaswift3834 4 жыл бұрын
Yess that’s so good. Are you seeking support?
@leonaswift3834
@leonaswift3834 4 жыл бұрын
Yess that’s so good. Are you seeking support?
@j.sargent9172
@j.sargent9172 4 жыл бұрын
@@leonaswift3834 so far I haven't, but I dont do well with NA and stuff. Im good until they start talking about Jesus then I head out.. And rehab costs too much since I dont have insurance..
@mikasaackerman1410
@mikasaackerman1410 4 жыл бұрын
Wish you the best success in staying clean!
@christopherwoodward1586
@christopherwoodward1586 3 жыл бұрын
Very cool. I'm a recocering heroin addict with 4 years clean. I was literally homeless on the streets. I now own my own home and run two online businesses I've been contemplating starting my own youtube channel to give some people hope and let them know there is life after addiction. Thank you for the inspiration. You rock!💪🙌💜
@hermithillfarm1123
@hermithillfarm1123 3 жыл бұрын
She relapsed. Go to her Instagram and you'll see it
@emilycastillo388
@emilycastillo388 3 жыл бұрын
U should start a KZfaq channel! Congrats on your sobriety
@marcellafair3712
@marcellafair3712 3 жыл бұрын
God bless you..thats a major accomplishment!❤🙏🏾
@lizzwilliams6022
@lizzwilliams6022 3 жыл бұрын
U mos deff SHULD start a channel ! Never Kno .... It might open new doors for u or jus might b tht glimpse of hope for some one else. Almost 5YC for me and I still randomly come across pages like this and will still watch them along with others like it .... I say go for it !
@nedkelley777
@nedkelley777 3 жыл бұрын
What did you do to help with the withdrawal.
@HeathersWorld
@HeathersWorld 3 жыл бұрын
omggggg this brings back memories of being in a sober living house, doing outpatient treatment, going to court, having ankle bracelet, and etc. 6 years later still sober! i wouldn't change any of it. good luck on your journey girl!
@tootsmay4420
@tootsmay4420 3 жыл бұрын
Congratulations! I was 6 years clean and sober it felt so amazing. I relapsed at 6 years clean and sober and I never thought I would use again. It started off with moderation for about 8 months which i didnt think was possible until it was no longer possible for me. My point is keep going sobriety is so much better anyway. I had 67 days then relapsed for months and now have 7 days!!!
@HeathersWorld
@HeathersWorld 3 жыл бұрын
@@tootsmay4420I get it i have my struggles too, im rooting for you, you got this! thats what scares me it can happen at anytime.
@1hollig1
@1hollig1 3 жыл бұрын
Congratulations!!!
@vleaky3430
@vleaky3430 2 ай бұрын
Keep up the good work sis
@ramennoodlebabey6945
@ramennoodlebabey6945 4 жыл бұрын
when you were talking about hygiene i immediately thought"i havent showered in a week" and went to shower so? thank you for reminding me i guess? i have major depressive disorder and hygiene is usually my last thought because i dont have the energy
@aloluccak.8303
@aloluccak.8303 4 жыл бұрын
Like same. I am just taking a bath
@colleennewholy9026
@colleennewholy9026 4 жыл бұрын
I have Bipolar, and yes... I feel like I don't keep up with my hygiene. Bleh.
@ckat1111
@ckat1111 4 жыл бұрын
It's only been four days, but I'm replying for a lil reminder about your hygiene :)
@laneboy3220
@laneboy3220 4 жыл бұрын
I'm proud of everyone here in the comments, I struggle with the same things as everyone here. It feels good to not be alone and I'm so proud of you all :)
@chichan4461
@chichan4461 4 жыл бұрын
Same, that was me in the summer (my depression gets bad in summertime) but now that the school year has started im starting to force myself a bit more.
@cold.raviolis
@cold.raviolis 4 жыл бұрын
More people need to understand how much of a struggle hygiene can be
@melliethemortician
@melliethemortician 4 жыл бұрын
Honestly, I have depression and when its really bad ill go weeks without showering, brushing my hair etc bc its so tiring and just physically and emotionally tiring but people never see that side of it. Its so normal for us but never talked about due to shame.
@blanknone5408
@blanknone5408 4 жыл бұрын
Get over yourselves
@bgdhfytgy135
@bgdhfytgy135 4 жыл бұрын
@@blanknone5408 oh shut up damn
@imthatyeetedfetus8113
@imthatyeetedfetus8113 4 жыл бұрын
None Blank u obviously haven’t been through anything and if u haven’t been through it, don’t comment on it and act like u know about it. dickhead
@ZZ-uf1fs
@ZZ-uf1fs 4 жыл бұрын
None Blank we all know you are an insecure little shit. Be quiet.
@LaurenMca
@LaurenMca 4 жыл бұрын
I’m going on 10 years clean this year.
@booooo6387
@booooo6387 3 жыл бұрын
OMG CONGRATS THAT IS HUGE
@billbailey8628
@billbailey8628 3 жыл бұрын
Is clean with prescriptions or clean with nothing?
@brianna3340
@brianna3340 3 жыл бұрын
Congrats!
@leonardthebeardeddragon2317
@leonardthebeardeddragon2317 3 жыл бұрын
That’s amazing!!!! ✨
@romama647
@romama647 3 жыл бұрын
bastard. i mean good goin 😋
@megantipton3381
@megantipton3381 3 жыл бұрын
Opiates were my thing too! I was clean 3 years then relapsed after my fiance cheated on me. I moved to Houston & now I've been clean almost a year. I truly appreciate your honesty! & btw... the hygiene thing & wanting to sleep all day.. i totally get it!
@riley4301
@riley4301 4 жыл бұрын
my parents are on heroin. it got so bad I was homeless and had to move in with my grandma. I don't even see them anymore and I still struggle with it sometimes but you can't help someone who doesn't want help. addiction is a terrible thing but i'm glad some people get a second start and get to live out a sober life!
@Lightforeverandever
@Lightforeverandever 4 жыл бұрын
Are u alright
@littleblondemop
@littleblondemop 4 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry:( I stumbled on her other channel because she was walking her adorable furbabies....had no idea about this channel. I've never had addictions. I hope things are good with your grandma and hope your parents change someday
@ashleys4263
@ashleys4263 4 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry! I know it seems really difficult right now! Things can get better for you. My parents did drugs for a long time. Luckily they’ve been sober several years now. Things can change. Just work hard and focus on making your life as great as possible. I really feel for you!
@kendraramirez7435
@kendraramirez7435 4 жыл бұрын
riley r I feel you both my parents have been on heroin since I was born now I’m 11 and live with my. Grandma
@5050TM
@5050TM 4 жыл бұрын
@@dontrellwilliams7246 No, you don't have to wait until you're 18. You can get emancipated from them if you are 16+. Please contact other people in your family yourself also if you can as it is NOT safe for you to be around an addict. If you can't, or don't wish to do the above, please at least visit your School Guidance Counselor and fully explain the situation. This is more common than you think so don't be embarrassed, but you need to be in a stable living situation for the sake of your mental and emotional health.
@emmalee6524
@emmalee6524 4 жыл бұрын
Finally, someone who actually acknowledges that things aren't just right back to normal after addiction.
@magpie9341
@magpie9341 4 жыл бұрын
Whole new life, scary but worth it!! ❤
@ernestgonzalez9539
@ernestgonzalez9539 4 жыл бұрын
Lol what? It's common knowledge that withdrawal, and recovery after is very much an uncomfortable and mentally straining struggle. Besides, she's full of shit, she takes zero responsibility for her own choices to use opiates and instead blames her ex. Then feeds on all of these suckers calling her brave and courageous and blah blah blah. That's how she continues to justify passing the blame, because she's just as much addicted to all this attention as she is heroin.
@christadelancy2012
@christadelancy2012 4 жыл бұрын
Ernest Gonzalez wow someone else who isn't brainwashed by her, finally. She blames everything on her ex takes no personal accountability whatsoever she is not a good role model for anyone in recovery
@ernestgonzalez9539
@ernestgonzalez9539 4 жыл бұрын
@@christadelancy2012 Oh no, I'm very far from being brain washed by someone who's that obviously full of shit. I'm astounded at how many people blindly believe, support, and defend her like they know she's innocent and compassionate. I completely agree with you! I came across her when my fiancee asked my opinion of her drug stories, and said she couldn't stand her lack of accountability. Her claim of consistently using Heroin because it's her BF's favorite is one of the dumbest excuses I've ever heard for using. Shit, or the real reason she made a video demonizing her ex (who's obviously a piece of shit) 100% wasn't to warn others, she did it because she's upset that he left her and knocked up some other girl. She doesn't care about other people, definitely doesn't give a flying fuck about victims of the same abuse she claims to have endured. She was antagonizing his past victims online after being told by MANY people that he's dangerous. She didn't care cause his attention was on her. And even that psychopath got sick of her dramatic attention seeking bullshit. The fact that she thought people would believe her bullshit reasoning shows her stupid and selfish nature. Anyone who's dealt with heroin immediately recognizes her bullshit. Initially I was bugged because I despise liars and attention seekers, but after looking into her more I'm completely disgusted by who she really is, because of what she's done and how she constantly passes the blame for EVERYTHING. The worst is how many animals she killed because she views them as objects. She doesn't care about these animals, but she knows she needs people to believe she does. I mean who the fuck kills a kitten by trapping it in a bathroom and not taking care of it? She fucking does! Many many more as well because she would literally hoard them for videos and do little to no research on what they require. She's a total piece of shit and her actions as well as the excuses that followed are seriously upsetting. Anybody who's abusing and killing animals to stroke her own ego and feed on the attention she craves so badly is a piece of shit. Every one of her stans calling her brave and courageous gives her the justification she was fishing for to continue lying, playing a victim, being a total attention suck and worst of all to keep killing animals. Fuck that stupid slut.
@dustinclark8388
@dustinclark8388 4 жыл бұрын
Ernest Gonzalez “anyone who’s actually dealt with heroin immediately recognizes her bullshit” so true man. I would gain a lot more respect for her if she took responsibility for her addiction instead of blaming her ex
@WhitneyDahlin
@WhitneyDahlin 3 жыл бұрын
I really wish she'd do an update. I think about her a lot. Opiate addiction is a HUGE problem in the US. She is the ONLY successful KZfaqr brave enough to talk about it. She had a lot to lose and still talked about it anyway. I guarantee YOU she isn't the only major KZfaqr who had an opiate addiction. I hope shes okay now
@JojoAndBay135
@JojoAndBay135 3 жыл бұрын
She’s been going between relapsing and being sober for the last year. She updates on her Instagram and Twitter sometimes. I’m not sure if she’s sober as of right now but she’s been relapsing a lot. She’s apparently hanging out with really bad influences
@katelynspencer8392
@katelynspencer8392 9 ай бұрын
@@JojoAndBay135she’s now a year and some change sober !! I’m so proud of her
@RecoveredRaunchyRebel
@RecoveredRaunchyRebel 8 ай бұрын
I hope she's doing better and having a routine when starting over in life is the key. Me and my wife are also in recovery and a similar program. One love to all my fellow addicts out there
@emmadillon392
@emmadillon392 4 жыл бұрын
It’s so amazing to watch someone live there best life as a recovering addict. I’m 13 years old and when I was 11 my mom died of a meth overdose and it makes me so happy to see you recovering ❤️
@TheMurray1922
@TheMurray1922 3 жыл бұрын
Emma, im so sorry to hear this- but you can do anything, in spite of the pain you've experienced. Keep your chin up!
@AyeYoTay84
@AyeYoTay84 3 жыл бұрын
Omg I'm so sorry..
@paulinevanchhawng9185
@paulinevanchhawng9185 3 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry, I hope you're doing better
@AyeYoTay84
@AyeYoTay84 3 жыл бұрын
Like I didn't know that was possible. I heard of heroin overdoses but that's from you getting to relax and you stop breathing.. So with meth I didn't know you could overdose... I'm glad to learn new things everyday.. God bless you and your family and your mom isn't hurting anymore. Id like to believe she is in Heaven chillin with my japanese grandmother having fun.
@paulinevanchhawng9185
@paulinevanchhawng9185 3 жыл бұрын
@@AyeYoTay84 😂 that's sweet
@Natalie-le5os
@Natalie-le5os 4 жыл бұрын
I am so proud of u wtf, to be this honest and vulnerable on the internet is so dope. wishing u the best and sending u healing energy
@purplepeggy9027
@purplepeggy9027 4 жыл бұрын
Natalie Romero No pun intended? 😉
@UNKNOWNPERSON-gf9ys
@UNKNOWNPERSON-gf9ys 4 жыл бұрын
@@purplepeggy9027 smh that was messed up
@purplepeggy9027
@purplepeggy9027 4 жыл бұрын
《UNKNOWN》 《PERSON》 No,it eas funny. Guess what I am very likely much older & wiser than you. no offence dear. But, I've been thru it up & down & all around. If you can't bring humor to it. Your really in trouble. Please, there is NOTHING you can say that would change my thoughts. I am at tbe very far other end now. & someday she will be. But, this whst posting comnents is all about. voicing our opinions. And hoping to agree to Disagree at times. Take care.
@UNKNOWNPERSON-gf9ys
@UNKNOWNPERSON-gf9ys 4 жыл бұрын
@@purplepeggy9027 seeing that you can't even spell "is" correctly I would say that I am probably much older and wiser than you are "dear" 😊 have a nice day.
@purplepeggy9027
@purplepeggy9027 4 жыл бұрын
《UNKNOWN》 《PERSON》 That's what you came up with? A typo? 😝😝😝👎🏻
@monkeynumbernine
@monkeynumbernine 4 жыл бұрын
I was in treatment for 2 years. Of course, I was a meth addict for over 20 years. I've been free from all of that for 12+ years. 💞
@lvasquez2978
@lvasquez2978 4 жыл бұрын
Amazing. Keep up the great work love. You are worth it🖤
@karisgreen1009
@karisgreen1009 4 жыл бұрын
Wow well done!! Keep it up, you're doing amazingly❤️
@babygoose8716
@babygoose8716 4 жыл бұрын
monkeynumber nine that’s amazing! Good for you! ❤️
@KELUIX
@KELUIX 4 жыл бұрын
!!! Dude that's awesome! Keep it up!! We're all proud of u
@uoxanna945
@uoxanna945 4 жыл бұрын
good job! so proud of you
@toriebarrett5828
@toriebarrett5828 3 жыл бұрын
Her talking about how she has to now deal with feeling a whole bunch of pain again (from physical disorders) after being numb for so long is such a real thing !!! I experienced it to and it’s hard as hell
@MariaHernandez-hv2qy
@MariaHernandez-hv2qy 3 жыл бұрын
I found your channel today im a recovering addict as well 8 yrs addicted to heroin i been ckean since 2010. I can relate to your situation i was in a toxic relationship for 10 yrs with a heroin addict. He left me homeless for a crackhead. My parents forced me into rehab 3 months I was bed bond I had no strength at all my dad had to carry me to the bath out. I thank God and my parents every day for saving my life. I just wanted to say be proud of yourself not many addicts live to tell their story. Your a blessing so congratulations 👏 and keep up the good work.
@AW-qz4kk
@AW-qz4kk 4 жыл бұрын
i really appreciate how genuine and transparent she has become.
@lesley-annfenwick
@lesley-annfenwick 4 жыл бұрын
Same
@MrsBear-sv6wo
@MrsBear-sv6wo 4 жыл бұрын
Likewise ☺
@paulinevanchhawng9185
@paulinevanchhawng9185 3 жыл бұрын
I know❤️
@Ashak2001
@Ashak2001 4 жыл бұрын
I haven't showered in three days and I havent left my house properly in about three weeks. Mental illness sucks. Proud of you for being sober
@jessicam3468
@jessicam3468 4 жыл бұрын
Asha King ❤️❤️❤️❤️
@ciara4087
@ciara4087 4 жыл бұрын
take all the time you need pal, just remember it always isn't as bad out there as you think. baby steps. all the love x
@meljstephan
@meljstephan 4 жыл бұрын
Sending all my positive vibes your way
@witch7530
@witch7530 4 жыл бұрын
I feel you. Keep living that’s all that matters take your time on everything else 💞 you’ll get to where you need to be
@watchaone4400
@watchaone4400 4 жыл бұрын
Yes its easy to get caught up but have you ever got into a shower and afterwards feel so much better plus if you stay in bed your mucles get week and you end up being tired so prayers going out to anyone who suffers from this but stat strong we need you ,peace.
@p0ssumkingd0m
@p0ssumkingd0m 4 жыл бұрын
I really felt that “my therapist texted my other therapist” part lmao, I’m the youngest person at my AA group and people used to always brag about me to my sponsor when I showed signs of being a slightly better functioning human being 😂
@jtreed8624
@jtreed8624 4 жыл бұрын
As a recovering addict it is extremely overwhelming to become a functioning member of society. I easily get overwhelmed when I have too much to do in one day.
@casssurf1719
@casssurf1719 4 жыл бұрын
My dad (Russell) started using when I was 3 months old . He died when I was 19 but I lost him way before that. Not everyone recovers, that’s what makes each recovery story special ❤️
@marshiemellow
@marshiemellow 4 жыл бұрын
Cass Surf Glad you view it through a positive window❤️❤️
@romama647
@romama647 3 жыл бұрын
yea that was the most unexpected reversal I think I've ever read. Makes me think your am writer/author.
@doingme8384
@doingme8384 3 жыл бұрын
God bless her dad. May he Rest In Peace.
@doingme8384
@doingme8384 3 жыл бұрын
My dad was the same way by the way, heroin addict even before I was a child. He died when I was about 19 too, surprisingly. But like you said, I lost him before that. It sucks. Addiction is horrible. I’m an addict now too. But I am high functioning and care for my family. It’s so weird how it affects everyone differently.
@casssurf1719
@casssurf1719 3 жыл бұрын
Just Me Bless you, sending lots of love your way ❤️
@unnamedxx
@unnamedxx 4 жыл бұрын
I stopped following Taylor on everything like a year ago but this video randomly popped up in my recommendations and I’m so glad I clicked on it. I genuinely missed her and I’m so glad she’s doing better. I’m proud of her.
@anyonebluejay5597
@anyonebluejay5597 4 жыл бұрын
Same here, yeah. I just wanted to see her trying to do better, and I'm really glad that she is, and she has a good attitude on everything.
@CierraCrochets
@CierraCrochets 4 жыл бұрын
Uh Huh as
@dekearty1515
@dekearty1515 4 жыл бұрын
Hi, i am a recovering addict and at the moment i am trying to wean myself off suboxone. I just want you to know that your story is giving me the strength i need to kick the strips outta my life. Thank you soo much for these vlogs. I literally just watched your story on how you became an addict and.... i really really think you have the power to complete this chapter and add it to the index of your life.. just know you've made a difference in my life even though I've never met you. Good luck
@bmoneyrancidfan91
@bmoneyrancidfan91 3 жыл бұрын
Man those strips taste like orange shit
@Harlow_Khmer
@Harlow_Khmer 3 жыл бұрын
Hope you're doing well ❤️
@delvinmallory3427
@delvinmallory3427 3 жыл бұрын
@K Maxx Wow, irony this rich is hard to find. I guess you'd say this to a cancer patient too, right? Those stupid people and their stupid diseases!
@amandabeach669
@amandabeach669 4 жыл бұрын
I just want to say I'm a recovering addict of almost 2 years and I am so happy someone on you tube has talked about addiction. I think you are amazing and I am so happy to be a subscriber.
@MrTattooASMR
@MrTattooASMR 4 жыл бұрын
My girlfriend is 3 years sober and watching these videos makes me so proud of you.
@electricsapphire
@electricsapphire 4 жыл бұрын
Hey! Fancy seeing you here I love your channel! :)
@TeaSesh
@TeaSesh 4 жыл бұрын
Mr. Tattoo ASMR me too 🙏
@roseileboop720
@roseileboop720 4 жыл бұрын
Hi cool seeing u here, Mr. Tattoo you probably help lots of people with ur videos too. Helping people calm down and relax. I know they help me with my depression and anxiety.
@P4bs
@P4bs 4 жыл бұрын
I'm so happy for you, I feel the "hygiene " stuff, I suffer from severe depression and anxiety disorders and your videos help a lot. Hope you're feeling better yourself as I remember you mentioned you weren't feeling 100%
@beardeddragons8721
@beardeddragons8721 4 жыл бұрын
I hope you had a great day!
@trude8073
@trude8073 4 жыл бұрын
Me too. People (who don't experience this) don't understand the struggle with showering/taking care of yourself in times like that, it is so hard. I've tried explaining it, but it's pointless..
@VampireGirl8772
@VampireGirl8772 4 жыл бұрын
Our routine is almost the same, that makes me feel so good about myself because I’m not alone. However, I’m two years sober off heroin and benzos. I love you and I’m proud of you :)
@jgx0x0
@jgx0x0 4 жыл бұрын
How long did it take u to feel better after stopping benzos? I am in the process and it feels like it's going to be forever till I feel "normal" again. Congrats on 2yrs.
@gabidemartinolyingaboutbei8641
@gabidemartinolyingaboutbei8641 3 жыл бұрын
Jordi Gellar I’ve been on benzos since I was 18, and now I’m 38(heroin too but I’m “clean” now, on methadone for 6 years). Ive tried to get off benzos soooo many times; cold turkey(had seizures, etc), rehab, I tried everything. I’ve accepted the fact that I’ll be on them forever, because I’m NEVER trying that again. I went 48 DAYS off of Xanax and was STILL having horrible w/ds. So, on the 48th day I got some and never looked back. I think it can take years to get over Xanax/benzo w/d. Good luck, I hope you have better luck!
@shawnmiller5611
@shawnmiller5611 3 жыл бұрын
Jordi gellar try winging urself off of benzos a lil each month or 2 just a little each time until you don't need it anymore or u think you can try without them never I mean never do it cold turkey
@lisamarieromeo6122
@lisamarieromeo6122 3 жыл бұрын
@@jgx0x0 heya hun I'm off benzo almost 2yrs and I had fits and sweats all the cold turkey symptoms. You can do it My moto was fear the fear and do it anyway. The only thing is I've have no support. Just me and my dog Romeo. My partner and fiance died. Thomas 12yrs he died sudden adult death syndrome. Not drug related My 2nd partner of 6yrs died from lirka and benzo So I really didn't we want to die. I started coming down as slow as I could be wuse about it What we tell ourself we end up believing a self limited belief it's called. If u start telling yourself you ll never be off them Well most likely you will just accept iti was exact same but trust me you can do it Take it like 1mg a week or month. Do it all at your own Pace don't beat yourself up if u fall just get back up and try again. I need up becoming an addiction councillor now. Once we break the cycle of what we tell ourselves like I'll hate myself or I am stupid guess what you ll start behaving this way. It's all self limited belief s we absorb growing up as kids that we take in and it reflect into our behaviors. I done addiction studies and analyzing behaviour s also physiology too So if u change your thought s you will gradually change ur beliefs God bless you and you can do it Remember nobody is harder on us than ourself. 💕🙏💜🤗
@alishatomblin3363
@alishatomblin3363 3 жыл бұрын
Same here. Routine is also about the same. Some people don’t believe me when I tell them how often I sleep.
@amberdean374
@amberdean374 3 жыл бұрын
Life after drug addiction is so beautiful! It’s even more beautiful than life before starting drugs!! You have a whole new sense of self and honesty. You see things for what they truly are and even when life gets tough it’s easier to cope and get past.
@narcoticlollipops
@narcoticlollipops 4 жыл бұрын
"recovery has no rules other than you can't do it alone" hearing it put that simply has really opened my eyes about what i've been doing wrong re: recovery, thank you
@doublefeature
@doublefeature 4 жыл бұрын
yes yes yes, reach out and ask for help!! there are truly people out there that want to help you. a good support system is so key.
@NoDDinOuTMeLoDy
@NoDDinOuTMeLoDy 4 жыл бұрын
Alone we get high together we recover
@desireabrown6255
@desireabrown6255 4 жыл бұрын
I love how you talked about hygiene in early recovery. I could handle massive life issues with a poker face but doing a load of laundry or dishes was seriously overwhelming. I had to learn how to live everyday life and take care of myself again. Its still a struggle sometimes but facing it and tackling one thing at a time head on is the key for me. Take it one day at a time you're doing great!!!❤❤❤
@kdaze10
@kdaze10 4 жыл бұрын
Same with the hygiene...I would go days without brushing my teeth or washing my hair...dry shampoo was my bff...lol. I'm slowly getting better... but there are days when it is still a struggle to get out of bed...especially when the depression is hitting hard. I've been on methadone for 1 year....but only completely clean from opiates for 4 months...and some would say I'm still using bc of the methadone...but it's through a doctor...and it works for me when for 10 years nothing worked to keep me clean...so I'll take it.
@colleenwren2106
@colleenwren2106 4 жыл бұрын
Same girl 💕
@dmxlovesmenotu
@dmxlovesmenotu 4 жыл бұрын
@@kdaze10 we can be 90% made of dry shampoo still its OK! We clean!
@kinsey987
@kinsey987 4 жыл бұрын
@@kdaze10 dry shampoo is the best/worst thing thats has ever happened to me omfg
@kristamonroe9120
@kristamonroe9120 4 жыл бұрын
Fully agree. A life without heroin was a life with no energy. Still a year and half later - I’m still facing days where I canNOT bring myself to accomplish menial house chores or apply makeup.
@kristenc6839
@kristenc6839 4 жыл бұрын
Coming up on 3 years of sobriety here! Keep it up girl!! Here’s a tip.. even when you don’t feel like showering force yourself. Always make your bed in the am. It’s the little things that will make you feel “in order” and feel good about yourself. And don’t forget to thank God for another day and to keep you sober in the am.. and thank Him at night for keeping you sober !💓🙏🏻
@hippydippyeilish7572
@hippydippyeilish7572 4 жыл бұрын
"ima take a chill pill- no pills, pills are BAD" 🥺🥺
@juliabb5662
@juliabb5662 4 жыл бұрын
You should try to do a grwm once a week to try to encourage you and give you a reason to shower! I have no idea really how you feel but I think it’d be a good idea ! Btw I’ve been watching you for like 2-3 years now and really glad you’re making more videos and getting better!
@mrbqkc
@mrbqkc 4 жыл бұрын
This is a good idea! We would watch it! You could even try out hairstyles so you'd have to wash your hair. (Also absolutely no judgement from me, showering is hard sometimes!)
@SunnyDayz14
@SunnyDayz14 4 жыл бұрын
@@mrbqkc Thats a great idea!!! Halloween is coming up! Maybe do some Halloween makeup looks Taylor?
@sandysgrandgirlssandysswee2492
@sandysgrandgirlssandysswee2492 4 жыл бұрын
Julia BB what is grwm?
@juliabb5662
@juliabb5662 4 жыл бұрын
Sandy Hagstrom it’s a get ready with me video
@ithinkradioheadisgood
@ithinkradioheadisgood 4 жыл бұрын
@@sandysgrandgirlssandysswee2492 it stands for get ready with me
@TheAmy2389
@TheAmy2389 4 жыл бұрын
Proud of you girl! I think it would be really interesting (if you and your mom were comfortable with it, obviously) to film a video with her talking about your addiction/recovery process from both perspectives. I'm in the process of getting my Master's in Counseling, so I always find it so interesting/beneficial to get perspective from multiple parties. Anyways, love your videos so much & I know I'm ot alone in saying how insanely proud of you I am & how amazing you are!
@jenniferdowns8991
@jenniferdowns8991 4 жыл бұрын
Yes
@anselyesteve526
@anselyesteve526 4 жыл бұрын
I second this ^ it’d be scary to post so understandable if it’s never created but it would be inspiring to see
@lil.ms.j7156
@lil.ms.j7156 4 жыл бұрын
I would appreciate this as well
@hanginlxights3_853
@hanginlxights3_853 4 жыл бұрын
I can tell that ur Additude has changed ((for the better))! I’m really so proud of u for fighting ur addiction.
@gxldxn
@gxldxn 3 жыл бұрын
Lol attitude
@hanginlxights3_853
@hanginlxights3_853 3 жыл бұрын
J H I mean like her additude... not her ADDITUDE... you know?
@monicarussup8498
@monicarussup8498 2 жыл бұрын
As s person in recovery for almost 5 years, and who works in a treatment center, I have to say that I relate to so much of what you said. I was clean for 8 months before my doctor decided to try suboxone, because i was in such a deep depression, hygiene problems and all, and i was this close to getting high. Suboxone literally saved my life. My quality of life improved greatly after suboxone. Thank you for being open about that. The 12 step meetings where I live do not consider suboxone clean so I struggled with that as well. But i do Smart Recovery, which I love, and now between a job I love, my family. my 6 dogs and 4 cats, my life is finally "normal" for me, anyway. You ROCK!!!
@shibibi1
@shibibi1 4 жыл бұрын
you know, you actually look really nice without the makeup and freshly washed hair. Your makeup skills are absolutely on point, but you definitely have a natural beauty. even with a breakout. Keep goin girl. you're doing good and you will get to a good place
@JessicaLeeHill
@JessicaLeeHill 4 жыл бұрын
When I was at my lowest my family would make fun of how I wouldn’t shower. My depression held me back and it made me feel so bad
@Sarah-ko3mx
@Sarah-ko3mx 4 жыл бұрын
That's crap. I struggle with the motivation to look after myself so I get what you mean. It can be so embarrassing to be walking round with greasy hair but then there's just no motivation to shower, so you carry on feeling worse and it's just a vicious cycle :/
@yungaccent7917
@yungaccent7917 4 жыл бұрын
Y’all are disgusting lmfao take a fucking shower
@rebekainiguez
@rebekainiguez 4 жыл бұрын
Yung Accènt i feel bad for you! only bold in what you say behind a screen.
@Sarah-ko3mx
@Sarah-ko3mx 4 жыл бұрын
@@yungaccent7917 I'm happy that you're healthy enough to think like that :) but just accept that others aren't
@user-bl8wi3hp8p
@user-bl8wi3hp8p 4 жыл бұрын
Yung Accènt ya bro
@TheLifeBoat
@TheLifeBoat 2 жыл бұрын
I spent thirty plus years on heroin and truly feel your pain. I lost everything I had a career as the president of a publicly traded company and lost it all. The house the cats the family. I ended up in federal prison after robbing a bunch of banks to support my 7 gram a day habit. This drug owns people in a way that few can understand. I have now been sober for six and a half years. It is possible and you are going to beat this. Your honesty and raw emotion is amazing. I’m pulling for you. I know spend my entire life trying to help people get and stay sober. If you ever want to speak to someone who understands the voice no one else hears reach out. I’m easy to find. Keep fighting the good fight. 🙏🏼
@lucysoul7073
@lucysoul7073 2 жыл бұрын
idk why this is my comfort video. always come back to this when Im super depressed. thank u Taylor
@jessiecamacho9936
@jessiecamacho9936 2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking the same thing. Like I always watch this and it makes me feel less alone; like it’s “normal” to just exist even if I, myself, am at my lowest.
@rachellane8756
@rachellane8756 4 жыл бұрын
taylor: tanner, say something really inspirational tanner: *sips capri sun* same tanner
@itzgrace6041
@itzgrace6041 4 жыл бұрын
Rachel Lane just like a mood
@JenniferHayesJVG
@JenniferHayesJVG 4 жыл бұрын
Girl I feel ya. 19 months clean and sober today. Keep kicking addictions ass !!!
@Mari-kb7jb
@Mari-kb7jb 4 жыл бұрын
Jennifer Hayes congrats on your anniversary! ❤️
@hollycline5931
@hollycline5931 4 жыл бұрын
Weird I'm 18 months as of the 28th/today
@jessiecorvus9262
@jessiecorvus9262 4 жыл бұрын
I get my 6 months chip for Christmas! So excited!
@heylily2446
@heylily2446 4 жыл бұрын
Congrats!! Keep it up you got this 💕
@Sarahbabeara91
@Sarahbabeara91 4 жыл бұрын
Awesome job! Congratulations!
@motolumpy1216
@motolumpy1216 3 жыл бұрын
I know he saw the focus of this video but I work with special needs kids and your brother is an absolute joy oh my goodness, he's such a sweetie
@noon4593
@noon4593 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you...so much sharing. This is beyond inspiring for anyone struggling. The content you are putting out is one of a kind. People close to me have suffered from this and its cathartic to watch. Sharing your journey means everything. I don't even know you and I love you so much and I am so proud. Please keep it up, the difference it makes is unmeasurable.
@jbula03
@jbula03 4 жыл бұрын
I can totally relate to the hygiene part , some days are harder then others. Just wanna say I am proud of you ! Keep it up and keep up these informative videos with your process
@OMGIGILY
@OMGIGILY 4 жыл бұрын
Youre so nice to yourself giggling that they were obsessed with your washed hair! I would have been so embarassed and cried if they pointed it out. youre really inspiring
@michaelmelancon357
@michaelmelancon357 4 жыл бұрын
14 months sober. I'm grateful for every single day. Stay strong and keep pushing forward. 💪💪
@cozycasasmr4510
@cozycasasmr4510 4 жыл бұрын
Trying to shower when you're depressed is an extraordinary feat
@heatherhent4445
@heatherhent4445 4 жыл бұрын
I cried tears of joy at points in this video. As an addict myself I love you for your courage.💕 It is so good to know I am not alone with some of these issues. Seems like many people glorify mental illnesses & addiction. There is nothing pretty about any of it & people need to hear this.
@taylordeanvlogs7088
@taylordeanvlogs7088 4 жыл бұрын
Heather Hent444 I’m so glad you felt like you could relate and be reminded that we are all in this together. I absolutely hated the idea of filming with my hair greasy and my acne bad, and on a day so boring, but I just wanted to try to be as realistic as possible about all of it so I’m glad it resonated with people. 🥺 you’re never alone love!! Keep taking it one day at a time. ❤️
@heatherhent4445
@heatherhent4445 4 жыл бұрын
@@taylordeanvlogs7088Ok- You got me crying again 😂. Thank you.
@elgordobully
@elgordobully 4 жыл бұрын
Exactly what depression feels like normal tasks feel like a huge tasks. Office definitely helps!!
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215 4 жыл бұрын
Oh god! I start 24 hours before I have to do something special, just to talk myself into it.... Also, "The Office" and "Impractical Jokers" are absolutely the only reasons I haven't offed it thus far
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215 4 жыл бұрын
Oh and I wait till the last min to pee... Then make myself brush my teeth at the same time, otherwise i would not talk myself into getting up again. IT'S AWFUL
@elgordobully
@elgordobully 4 жыл бұрын
Nell Russell right?! And I hate when people call you lazy it’s like trust me I’d be better if I could
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215 4 жыл бұрын
@@elgordobully for real! And I hate when people tell me i should "do this" and "go to this thing" and "why haven't you finished this" or "visited so n so" ..... I feel like saying, "Man, trying not to off myself and just get into the shower is about all i can handle today"
@danibee149
@danibee149 Жыл бұрын
Taylor, this is my all time comfort video. I cannot say how many times I have watched this video.
@iamrafiki7964
@iamrafiki7964 2 жыл бұрын
you’re such a beautiful soul!! such a miracle and i’m so proud of you for taking the actions and coming back from the living dead :) i see so much love within you
@Ace-gz5ol
@Ace-gz5ol 4 жыл бұрын
“You’re all clean aren’t ya” so cute
@yayao7450
@yayao7450 4 жыл бұрын
You’re brother made a water boy reference & you looked at him like he was crazy Girrrllll lol he’s hilarious
@melovejoongie9203
@melovejoongie9203 4 жыл бұрын
I literally started laughing as soon as he said it 😂
@soulerheat
@soulerheat 4 жыл бұрын
that's what i thought!!! 😂
@DVazquez810
@DVazquez810 4 жыл бұрын
I’m not an addict, but I just want to thank you for this video. I suffer with depression a lot and have done IOP several times, and just seeing someone else mirroring how I felt at that time is so comforting. It’s also really eye opening to see what those who are trying to get sober go through in the process of sobriety. ❤️ keep going, love! You’re doing great and we’re so proud of you!
@ashleymaree329
@ashleymaree329 4 жыл бұрын
Please don't stay on the Suboxone too long! I'm 5 years in and it's SOOOOO hard to wean off! I'm spending a ton of money to see a specialist now to help me get off of it. If I could go back and do it differently, I would've started with only 2-4mg and it would've been very short lived. We're rooting for you! Keep up the good work! You're amazing!!! ❤️
@rynloback2508
@rynloback2508 4 жыл бұрын
My mom was addicted to heroine.. she never got the chance to recover. I get so happy when I watch these videos. Keep up the good work! ♥️
@carolynnalvarez7032
@carolynnalvarez7032 4 жыл бұрын
Sorry sweetheart 😔
@brookeevans8400
@brookeevans8400 4 жыл бұрын
Ryn Loback ❤️ stay strong love
@Laura-gg4zo
@Laura-gg4zo 4 жыл бұрын
I’m so sorry ❤️
@ericcartman4751
@ericcartman4751 4 жыл бұрын
I'm so sorry for your loss, rest in peace to your mother 🙏❤️
@Rotary12A
@Rotary12A 4 жыл бұрын
Shes not clean shes on suboxone
@ahabby5513
@ahabby5513 4 жыл бұрын
Tanner's Waterboy reference is everything
@themelissaeileen
@themelissaeileen 4 жыл бұрын
Tanner is THE best! I love him so much! ❤️
@sagalindhe
@sagalindhe 4 жыл бұрын
You've come such a long way and I love your personality! Always have! Hope the journey will continue in a good way
@craigoliveira2996
@craigoliveira2996 4 жыл бұрын
“ Ma MA Ma Ma Momma says alligators are ornery because they have all them teeth and no tooth brush” I don’t think I have related more to anything in my whole life😂
@timslimjim4672
@timslimjim4672 2 жыл бұрын
If anyone don't understand the quote it's from the movie The Waterboy with Adam Sandler
@kookiecrumbs233
@kookiecrumbs233 4 жыл бұрын
I really want to thank you for mentioning the hygiene thing. I’ve had depression(+ a million other things) since middle school and even though I’m better now I still have a huge problem with hygiene. I try to excuse it by saying I’m busy but in reality I really and just never have motivation. Back when I still had bad depression I wouldn’t shower for weeks at a time, and though my hair doesn’t get that greasy you really just feel dirty. Anyway thank you for this video, good luck on recovery!
@labaccident2010
@labaccident2010 4 жыл бұрын
I've realized I've hit that "don't care about hygiene" depression again and I now force myself to shower and do laundry. makeup gives me a good incentive to bother washing my face.
@Flufferz626
@Flufferz626 4 жыл бұрын
You aren't alone. In bouts of depression I lose track of days and wonder if it's been 2 days or 10 days since I showered.
@sapphirecharm01
@sapphirecharm01 4 жыл бұрын
@@labaccident2010 please wash yourself
@labaccident2010
@labaccident2010 4 жыл бұрын
@@sapphirecharm01 I do! Even when I'm in a bad spot, I go make sure I keep up with hygiene. A warm shower is nice on a bad day, anyway.
@pea547
@pea547 4 жыл бұрын
you should get a bird feeder outside that window, the kitties would appreciate it in the mornings!
@TheSecret_PRO
@TheSecret_PRO 4 жыл бұрын
Wait wha-
@Finchsaviary
@Finchsaviary 4 жыл бұрын
that’s a great idea!
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981 4 жыл бұрын
Wish I could see the dislikes ... cruel for both the kittens an birds :(
@gabriellevanarkel716
@gabriellevanarkel716 4 жыл бұрын
Amara Oceania Goodwin I don’t think its cruel for them.. My cats love to watch the birds and we have a bird feeder in the front yard, the cats can’t get to them. So safe for the birds, and especially the older cat just likes to sit and watch. I think that is What the comment meant. 😅
@brookecannon5817
@brookecannon5817 4 жыл бұрын
@@amaraoceaniagoodwin981 how is it cruel?
@emilyrinehart2067
@emilyrinehart2067 4 жыл бұрын
These videos are so valuable. Not even just for those who relate directly, but for those who watched family struggle like you have and couldn’t understand. Thank you for helping me understand.
@jakehall4545
@jakehall4545 4 жыл бұрын
Kudos for putting yourself out there with all this! Been thru all the same myself and couldn’t ever imagine sharing the process/results with so many people.. shows an insane amount of courage. Wishin you the best with your recovery and thanks for making those of who’ve been there feel a bit better cuz nobody’s in this shit alone 😌
@YeosangThePirate
@YeosangThePirate 4 жыл бұрын
As someone who’s been suffering with depression most her life I completely understand the Taking shower part of the video Taking care of your self is so hard when your brain just doesn’t want to
@uwabami6630
@uwabami6630 4 жыл бұрын
violet von vexx i relate to this so much it’s so hard for me to even take meds, I haven’t showered in 3 days amd even though i feel disgusting my brain just doesn’t want to cooperate
@YeosangThePirate
@YeosangThePirate 4 жыл бұрын
OPHIDIA literally me rn 😓
@uwabami6630
@uwabami6630 4 жыл бұрын
violet von vexx we’ll get through it ❤️
@hin0
@hin0 4 жыл бұрын
Sometimes taking one bath is enough for the whole week
@YeosangThePirate
@YeosangThePirate 4 жыл бұрын
Hinora and you feel so accomplished when you do to
@backtosourceandbeyond7536
@backtosourceandbeyond7536 4 жыл бұрын
“Pecan comic 😂 you can be a pecan comic if u want.” I feel better about life now
@Aleyse
@Aleyse 3 жыл бұрын
Animals are the best therapy just found you channel today ! Love how you care for them so much ❤️🤍
@junemoonz
@junemoonz 4 жыл бұрын
I am so so so proud of you ! I’m currently on 16 mg of sub....clean for 8 months. It’s a journey for sure but I honestly couldn’t be happier being a normal boring ass human 💕✨ thank you for putting yourself out there, makes me feel a lot less alone. Sending you so much love and strength girly
@megannethery2513
@megannethery2513 4 жыл бұрын
I was a heroin addict for 6 years, during which time i lost both of my parents, went to prison twice, and lost 10+ friends to overdosing. I totally understand what you're talking about with the hygiene thing, i use to go weeks at a time. Those were the worst years of my life & i pray i never go back. It is a daily struggle for an addict to stay clean, and always will be, but this life is sooo much better. You are so incredibly brave in my opinion, thank you for being so transparent. It helps to know you aren't alone in this fight. Keep up the amazing work you're doing❤❤❤
@imnevergonnalosemyselfagain
@imnevergonnalosemyselfagain 4 жыл бұрын
Megan Nethery so proud of you! you got this and you‘re worth it stay safe ❤️❤️
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215
@nellrussellstarving_artist1215 4 жыл бұрын
Same Megan, same. Getcha. Idt my brain chemistry has ever balanced back out.
@kinglouis6974
@kinglouis6974 4 жыл бұрын
Megan Nethery And I thought I’d gone full bore , No matter how bad shite is you know deep down using will make things worse, keep it up babe 🇬🇧👍🏼
@elliemortonxxx
@elliemortonxxx 4 жыл бұрын
what was she addicted to
@bruhidk3069
@bruhidk3069 4 жыл бұрын
elliemortonxxx heroin
@Nekei
@Nekei 4 жыл бұрын
I feel the hygiene part so hard :( when I’m in my depressive episodes I struggle with brushing my teeth and showering and it’s so awful. I feel like I’m just being lazy but I know it’s not the case bc I know that I want AND have to but I just like cant bring myself to do it sometimes 😪 I’m super proud of you though it’s so great to see your journey with recovery and I’m sure you’re helping out so many with what you’re showing!! You’re doing amazing 💕💕
@beardeddragons8721
@beardeddragons8721 4 жыл бұрын
It's okay! I can relate too! I hope you are feeling better!💖
@iLoveTheBamx
@iLoveTheBamx 4 жыл бұрын
I’m so glad I’m not the only one. Seeing this helps me because it reminds me I’m not alone. I struggle with showering and hygiene too when I’m depressed. It feels like extreme laziness to me, like you said, except I know it’s more. I know I’m going into a depressive funk/episode when my hygiene and cleanliness starts to slide downhill again.
@beardeddragons8721
@beardeddragons8721 4 жыл бұрын
@@iLoveTheBamx I thought about it too that I'm only one with thst problem and "lazy" but It's really about mentalhealth
@Angel_Billy4-30-23
@Angel_Billy4-30-23 3 жыл бұрын
If nobody else is, I'm proud of you for getting and staying clean. I'm so happy for you. You did such an amazing job on this. I'm so glad and so proud of you. Keep it up girl, you got this.
@SweetLikeMandi
@SweetLikeMandi 2 жыл бұрын
Aww your Mama was so happy to see you all clean ❤ Been watching you for years and I just wanna say... I'm also getting sober and began therapy for ptsd/depression so I get not wanting to get up let alone take care of myself. Sending so much love to you. Thank you for spreading awareness about recovery. Good to see you back 💛
@Saphireproductions1
@Saphireproductions1 4 жыл бұрын
I felt the hygiene part😂 I’ve been recovering from anorexia for almost 2 years having the disorder for about 5 years and I’ve been in almost every type of treatment from hospital to residential and honestly I’ve been the happiest I’ve been in years I’ve looked up to you for so long Stay strong bb ❤️❤️
@bannstrahl
@bannstrahl 4 жыл бұрын
julia Maldonado im so proud of you!
@booooo6387
@booooo6387 3 жыл бұрын
I am so proud of you I am in my early stages of recovering from anorexia. These types of things are not easy to surpass so the fact that even just some people can gives me hope. Things like this really make me happy seeing people get better because I am extremely young barely entering my preteen stage. Some people think people my age can’t get eating disorders or have depression but that isn’t true at all. I suffer from depression, anxiety, scoliosis, asthma, OCD, and anorexia. I go through lots of hard times and have participated in self harm which I am not proud of. I have people who care about me just as much as I care about others. That is art of my problem. Instead of just feeling proud or accomplished when I please people I feel the need to do everything right on their behalf which is what led me to my eating disorder. I would completely skip breakfast and lunch at school and my friends began to worry about me. They would call at random times of the night since we already saw each other over ten hours a day because we went to an after school program. That didn’t matter to my friend. She had been in my life since I was two years old and even before either of us were born our families were friends. My parents split up when I was a baby so that was just what I was used to. My mother was mentally abusive and she couldn’t stand to look at me if my scores on anything was any less then perfect. I still have pretty bad issues with my mental heath to this day but it is a lot better then what it was. I had to deal with everyone judging me I was in every single school club or team and the lead in plays. While lots of people think that it is just fun it isn’t. I also am bisexual and I identify with both genders and most people in my grade knew that. I was extremely open about it and I don’t regret that. I have 4 different friend that are sexually different then most. My friend is currently discovering who she is in a matter of sexuality. This isn’t even my full story. My point is that anyone can recover for some it might take a little longer than others but it is definitely possible. So no matter what problems you struggle with you will be ok. That goes for anybody who has or had issues mentally or physically. I know for a fact that without the people in my life that live me I wouldn’t be here today and I most likely would have ended my life. So anyone dealing with somewhat similar problems you will get through it. Just know that you are loved. And capable of immensely great things in this world even if you don’t know what that thing is yet. Always remember that.
@nafisaali291
@nafisaali291 2 жыл бұрын
ED + a drug addiction was a wild ride for me. i’m sober from drugs but i recently relapsed in my ED & it’s so draining. it’s so hard…
@plant9940
@plant9940 4 жыл бұрын
I understand how hard it is to get up, I’m not an addict or recovering addict but I do have severe OCD and it’s just rough and it takes a while to get up and do hygiene. So glad to see you doing better though!! You’ve come very far, so proud! ❤️❤️❤️
@mollydavis5079
@mollydavis5079 3 жыл бұрын
I'm about to hit my 3 year mark in about a week. So glad to find someone else going through the process. Mad love girl.
@UniNarwhal
@UniNarwhal 4 жыл бұрын
oh my god your editing style is GREAT and I love youuu. I’m also loving this vlog channel ❤️
@taylordeanvlogs7088
@taylordeanvlogs7088 4 жыл бұрын
Uni omg thank you so much!!!
@UniNarwhal
@UniNarwhal 4 жыл бұрын
Taylor Dean Vlogs you’re welcome!! You’re such a beautiful person and everything will be alright, ok? (and your short hair is so pretty!!)
@evelynj1605
@evelynj1605 4 жыл бұрын
taylor eating fries in her bed watching netflix is a big mood😂
@bluballs-cw1mx
@bluballs-cw1mx 4 жыл бұрын
evelyn j omg that’s my life too the office is why I get out of bed when Jim pulled pranks, Pam acted drunk at Chili’s, and Michael’s conctint need for attention that’s my life
@creaturecomforts7069
@creaturecomforts7069 4 жыл бұрын
I was watching this in bed whilst eating my dominoes🤣
@bittyboolove
@bittyboolove 4 жыл бұрын
im so proud of u taylor. honestly its been a dream getting to see u evolve into such a healthy and clean lifestyle. keep it up baby love u
@amrxxse
@amrxxse 3 жыл бұрын
i'm very proud of you taylor, this is the first video i've seen of you and it was worth the 40 minutes :) you're a very strong women and i hope that ill grow to be as brave as you
@LoveVanita
@LoveVanita 4 жыл бұрын
I’m straight edge and never done drugs in my life but I found this video so interesting since I have severe depression and crippling anxiety and struggle to take care of myself and do normal things just like you and this really helped me out 🥺
@kyakore
@kyakore 4 жыл бұрын
LoveVanita please get help
@lailinshale
@lailinshale 4 жыл бұрын
Love the cowtfit. Keep on keepin' on. Not everybody gets how big it is "just" to wash your hair.
@heatherbeedle1825
@heatherbeedle1825 3 жыл бұрын
I just wanted to say hi and I'm a recovering heorin addict as well. Don't listen to the nasty comments. You seem like a very sweet genuine person. And your not alone. It does get better 😊💕
@mollyyoungblood8883
@mollyyoungblood8883 2 жыл бұрын
*you're.
@alexandramcnamee9912
@alexandramcnamee9912 3 жыл бұрын
You're fucking killing it Taylor. I can't imagine being in chronic physical pain, depressed, AND recovering from addiction, and STILL be able to take care of all your animals, and have anything left over to do basic shit like showering and feeding. But by golly you're doing it, and staying sober and I'm so so SO proud of you. Please keep it up. I see how much effort you're putting in and it's amazing to watch. You WILL achieve your goals!
@mariamiamonteleone
@mariamiamonteleone 4 жыл бұрын
The SECOND I wasn’t dope sick anymore in rehab I started showering and doing my makeup and taking care of myself again
@taylordeanvlogs7088
@taylordeanvlogs7088 4 жыл бұрын
Maria Mia YESS my first shower in rehab felt so good, it was amazing.
@daniellesalvia7788
@daniellesalvia7788 4 жыл бұрын
Maria Mia amen to that! I never did dope but I’ve done other shit and I don’t go a day without makeup now just because it makes me feel good!
@mikaelal9479
@mikaelal9479 4 жыл бұрын
My boyfriend has to get up everyday around 7 he has to go the clinic for his methadone and counseling. It’s a hard journey.
@isabellee.alyssaa
@isabellee.alyssaa 4 жыл бұрын
Mikaela L stay strong, both of you!! it’s a long and hard journey but you have definitely got this
@dvlexotics2177
@dvlexotics2177 4 жыл бұрын
Its a long hard journey but tell him he is doing great and remind him how well he is doing and how proud you are of him.
@andler5061
@andler5061 4 жыл бұрын
that’s supposed to be hard?
@natalija8771
@natalija8771 4 жыл бұрын
@@andler5061 it is incredibly hard and unless you go through it or someone close to you does then you can't ever understand really
@kalillahulsey5624
@kalillahulsey5624 4 жыл бұрын
Same 🙄 and it’s not just waking up st 7 that’s hard... she was just saying that’s part of it. And duck yeah it sucks getting up EVERYDAY at 7 am and a lot of places have long as waits
@matieurod752
@matieurod752 Жыл бұрын
Just wanna say girl you are awesome, I’m deadass serious saying there needs to be more ppl like you, your so pure such a genuine REAL person, I seriously wish coud meet you one day honestly, been subbed & following ya journey for last few years & always return to these vids every once in awhile.. MUCH LOVE from a fellow addict in SouthJersey ❤️🤙🏻
@almightyavocadod2898
@almightyavocadod2898 4 жыл бұрын
You're my favorite KZfaqr.. Cause of how raw you are, I hope you do amazing because I know how it is. Much love and hope the animals are doing great too.
@sageharmony3128
@sageharmony3128 4 жыл бұрын
1st day sober off my meth relapse and saw this. Thanks for the encouragement friend ❤️✌🏽
@Mari-kb7jb
@Mari-kb7jb 4 жыл бұрын
Sage Lynn same girl, same
@VK-uh5jz
@VK-uh5jz 4 жыл бұрын
I'm about a year and a half off of it. It can be done. Hang in there. Life gets so much better and you will look back and love yourself again. I also in that time have not had a drop of alcohol or smoked any green. Other substances only triggered m use. Good luck. You can do it
@skiddni8665
@skiddni8665 4 жыл бұрын
U can do it!!
@wifeyg7136
@wifeyg7136 4 жыл бұрын
It only gets better, been clean 7 yrs now.
@HalfwayJac
@HalfwayJac 4 жыл бұрын
Wifey G 713 Yo everyone on this thread, I just wanna say, I love you all! Please don’t give up!
@sophiemoccep4395
@sophiemoccep4395 4 жыл бұрын
Can we talk about how cats help us with everything ? Sleeping, relaxing, getting up, laugh ?
@Boutys_mom
@Boutys_mom 4 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I wonder if my cat is depressed too, when she sleeps as much as me. Lol!
@AndreyaWryght
@AndreyaWryght 4 жыл бұрын
I just wish that they could make coffee or tea.. That would just be the best 😂
@user-xh2vn6gs7p
@user-xh2vn6gs7p 3 жыл бұрын
I feel for you as I’m in the same boat you were 6 months before this... Heroin addiction is no joke... I can’t blame her for my opiate use but a destructive ex sent me down the road to using the needle as well. Your experience has made me a follower in which I can admire and only hope I can be where you are in the future... thankyou for posting this ! Its been more help than you probably realize for ppl like me who have been struggling at this for too long. If you can do it in front of 1.34 million people, then so can I!
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981 4 жыл бұрын
PLEASE TALK ABOUT YOUR FAMILY FINDING OUT AND HOW THEY ARE COPING ME AND MY PARENTS WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IT
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981 4 жыл бұрын
@John Laurens did I say she had to ? God cant say anything without white knights these days :/
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981 4 жыл бұрын
@John Laurens what a strange person u are .
@kealeyherring4797
@kealeyherring4797 4 жыл бұрын
Amara Oceania Goodwin this was a interesting online fight
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981
@amaraoceaniagoodwin981 4 жыл бұрын
@@kealeyherring4797 I was honestly just so confused
@kimsometimesasmrvids4302
@kimsometimesasmrvids4302 4 жыл бұрын
I would like to know about that too my family acts and tell me that am still on drugs getting off one drug to the next they think!
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