Reclaim yourself after Being Raised by a narcissist www.emotionalabuserecovery.com/offers/s3Q6zwwh/checkout

Yes! The guilt is insane! I always hated being thrown into my face all that she did for me as if I owed her something for all she did! It's such a crazy game!

This constant state of denial was my mother. I remember keeping a journal of every thing she did and said and writing down the date, time, etc. just so that I know I wasn't crazy.

Guilt is a weapon. An NPD mother’s favourite one. Guilt is so powerful and destructive that it can lead a person to commit suicide. In any case guilt hurts. A loving mother would try her best for you not to feel guilty over anything. If you did something wrong you will eventually feel (healthily) guilty by yourself but she will do her best to forgive you and ease that pain. “ don’t think about that” “don’t worry” “mistakes happen” etc

My narc mother left my little brother on 8 y.o. me and I had to feed him, take him to the kindergarten and to feed myself. So, I had responsibility trauma and stuck in this 8 y.o. age! Now I have to give myself this age! I give now myself: playing games, making friends, having first opinions and first critical thinking and first try of things. That I had no then. I am 36 y.o. woman with brain of 8 y.o. girl!

Danish! You are absolutely accurate in your sinister portrayal of the Narcissistic Mother. I'm in my 60's and only now understanding what has gone on. My hope is that thru videos like this, younger people will develop enough awareness to not waste decades trying to 'help' this monster because nothing ever changes with them. Most Mothers sacrifice for their children but some sacrifice their children instead. (Lucky thing we aren't Hamsters...)

Whenever I wanted to go out with my friends, she would pretend to be ill. And don't expect the narcissist mother to protect you or defend you. When I was being bullied at school, she didn't do anything about it.

After having watched the whole video , I feel half dead. Because realization hits hard. God!!!!! Everything you said is real and spot on .

Relationships between parents and children should not be transactional. Parents naturally love their children, therefore, do the things necessary to raise them out of love, knowing they are preparing them for future independence. Healthy parents. Narcissistic parents, however, keep score cards and their children can never please them, I'll add, nor should they try. Thank you, Danish. Extremely well done!

“I’m your mother. I MADE you”

I worked with a lady that made her daughter’s death about her. So that she would get attention. She had her arm tattooed from her shoulder to her elbow with a picture of her daughter.. Her daughter told me that she ran away from home, because she didn’t like the way her mother treated her. 😕

So different from healthy parents. Do they worry when their children fly the nest? Of course! That’s normal. The world is hard and can be cruel. But those parents also celebrate their children’s independence and success. Letting them know, “We are here if you need us but you’ve got this.”

Your videos are so important, they ve helped guide me thru this healing journey that I'm on, on 34 and just realized my mom is a covert narcissist and explains why I always felt a weird vibe whenever the family got together. Don't let people gaslight you by saying things like "you only get one mom" "but she's your mom and she loves you" it's the worst when it comes from family too! Stay strong survivors!!

I see you've met my birth-giver! 😂 While slightly triggering, 100% accurate! Thank you so much for this, Danish! ❤❤ Sending peace and healing to my fellow survivors!

HOLY crap ... talk about checking the boxes!! Years of recovery, and yet here I find myself realizing about 3 more things that never occurred to me. Man, Danish, you are on the MONEY.✔✔

After listening to this it brings up so many things that my mom has said to me

Your sarcasm is spot on, almost 100%! I don't know what type of disorder that my mum have, but she have almost all behaviours n traits you've mentioned. It's too long and complicated to tell, but as a survivor who is still living with an abusive mother, my pain is valid n i can't yet escape due that i'm disabled n still dependent on her 😭😭😭

This video was perfect for my headspace today. I have a covert narcissist mother and guilt is a major issue for me. Only learnt the name 'covert narcissist' in the last few months. But am now seeing my mum's behaviour clearly, however due to being conditioned for 34 years I gaslight myself and feel guilty about her. Even though her behaviour has been outrageous, I still feel like the bad guy for wanting space. Thank you for your videos, they help me.

You did great!! My mom would give me things I never asked for, and then hold that over my head like a weapon!!💔 Some of my siblings would see what she gave me (money, things etc.) that I didn't ask for and hate me for it.💔

I thought you dedicated a whole video to my mother!! It took me some time to understand that you were talking in general 😅

Mines just popped up at my house 3 days ago. Making a scene. She brought my kids money, gifts, and toys and clothes. Things she’s never done btw. She is EVIL and I do not want anything to do with her.

When I graduated college she came up to me and said, “We did it!!”

The older she gets,the worse she gets and using scripture to weaponize against me.I have such anxiety when it comes to having to speak to her as if I don't agree with her opion, the anger and silent treatment is palpable,yes I agree,fear,guilt,obligation.I feel so sabotaged😢

* Gaslighting * Made me feel like burden by saying that I was an unexpected pregnancy and she wasn’t ready for a baby. Also whenever I complained about my childhood experiences, she said oh no we played with you, I watched cartoons with you!!! Honestly WTF! What do normal people do with their kids? * No emotional support and leaving me alone when I was sad or broken

This was brilliant, Danish! Really well done! My head is still spinning, but worth the information you've imparted. Your extreme delivery is unique and effective in a way I've never experienced in other narcissist educational videos. It is very terrible that you've only been able to create this video as the result of your own upbringing, but thank you for having the strength and inner goodness to do so. God love you. Thank you for sharing! I'll share now.

all my childhood, i remember my mother blaming her life being miserable on EVERYONE but herself. as a kid, i remember thinking to myself that it didn't make sense and maybe if she looked in the mirror and really thought about what was going on she would see it was HERSELF who was the problem and she needed to change for her life to get better....still hasn't happened, and never will. thank goodness i removed myself years ago from that toxic relationship. cheers from southern ontario, canada 🍁

Every word resonates and hurts. You did an incredible job portraying the character of a narcissistic mother, Danish. Thank you for your videos.

My therapist said "she has a borderline personality disorder... She even cried on my behalf after I told her of all my episodes... And when I shared this with my mom, she was outraged and wanted to go to the therapist's office (probably to wring her neck)... that was hilarious!!!😂

Thank you Danish! i found your channel about a month ago. I was married to a covert NH for 25 years. He passed away in 2018 but even after 5 years I feel like I still need healing. Your videos are helping.

This is eerily spot on! I have never seen someone immulate my mother to the point where it made me feel like she was speaking to me. I'm learning and the more I learn, hopefully, the more I can handle the way she treats me every single day! Thank you for helping me by doing role play. I appreciate it more than you know!

Again everything you said was on point! When I would visit mom & dad, she would get angry at my dad when we would sit together & he would share his war stories with me or family history, etc

More than anything, I would love to have you do an episode featuring an narcissistic older sister who has always used her health to manipulate people. Even though the most recent news about her health has not been positive, I am still maintaining No Contact. I have been burnt too many times.

After watching that it was very disturbing and rattling to my nerves, just how I feel when I'm around her!... So now I find comfort, I'm an emotional eater but also I love to exercise all that s*** that's inside of me!... God Bless you Danish!🙏💖🌹

This is how sick my Mom was. I, of course, constantly got the "you're stupid". The constant manipulation. The constant fake concern. By the time I was nine, I realized my IQ was double hers. All through school, I got straight As to prove I wasn't stupid. It didn't matter. I was still always stupid. This was over 45 years ago so I had no clue what narcissism was. I just knew something was wrong. In 1975, I applied to 5 very good colleges. There were no computers back then. Everything was by mail. I was naive about the process and of course, no help from her with her little self-centered brain. Well, I got no letters back. I guessed, maybe I was stupid after all so I got a job at McDonald's. In 2008, my Dad died. I stayed with my Mom for a week to help her. Her closets were stuffed with papers she had no idea how to deal with. There they were. All the acceptance letters. My heart fell out of my chest. They were hers. Her little trophies that she screwed me with. Her ultimate secret of how much she controlled me and my life. She obviously didn't even show them to my Dad. Life is good today. Because, after all, I wasn't stupid, but God, I hate her.

I literally called her 'mommy dearest.' It was my way of telling her I knew who she really was. She would throw tantrums, cry and cry and cry and would even 'run away' when she didn't get me to bend to her will. Unfortunately my sister was not as strong willed or resilient and was controlled by our mother until her untimely death of cancer. My mother even used my sisters cancer as her own. Everything was about HER and not about my sister who was literally dying. It was sickening to watch.

I know someone with a professional degree but with a learning disability whose narc mother knows exactly how to push his buttons. This video would be gold for him, but his narc mother knows how to space her calls, and guilt-trip him, when he actually owes her nothing. He earned his degree through a scholarship and always was at the top of his class. His parents never had to spend much on him other than the basics that all parents of young children are obligated to do. His learning disability makes him vulnerable to her tactics, and his aware and loyal wife though always alerting him, is at the receiving end of the dynamic. This video felt like listening to the narc mother speak.

Now it's years post her death. I'm damaged forever, I cannot have relationships, i'm forever a loner, a hermit - it's affected me in SO MANY WAYS!! But, i do now believe my mother did do her best. She was obviously very mentally ill with narcissism, she thought she was a STAR!! So there's no way she could ever be a good parent, good daughter or good person. Evil, completely self-centered, manipulative, liar, controlling, mean, cruel, abusive to all her family members in many, many ways - you name it. I have recently posthumously forgiven her but can never forget or be 'normal.'

A narc mother has the power to make you suffer the most , direct or indirect!! It's always rigorous to recognise, accept and cope up with....

I told her about my new relationship and going serious with this guy and she goes like "oh' after five minutes. And then I was like "That's all. Just "oh"? And she goes like "No no I meant so how is he like? Does he work with you?". Oh oh. Mommy dears jealousy coming up again 😂😂... ah. This is literally my job dealing with patients who are coming out of it so I saw right thru that

This is such a hilarious video Danish!! Funny and yet not for how true it is. I had a narcissistic grandmother who loved to hold the purse strings and dole out the money to her 2 kids whenever they were in a situation they couldn't get out of. When she passed away, soon after my grandfather passed and her son, so my narcissistic Mom wound up with the money and now she likes to try anything she can to get me to ask her for money. It's like "oh I wish you would go to this place with me on this trip". "I'll pay for your gas, I'll pay for your hotel, if you need the money". They just want you to beg them for money so badly so they can feel like a queen and lord that over you. I would rather put my eyes out with a hot poker than ask her for any money. And she hates the imbalance of power if I do a favor for her and she can't make it transactional. If I take her to a doctor's appointment or do something for her, she has to try and buy me a gift or lunch or pay for my gas money. I say I am just doing it because I can, and she cannot stand that. One of her ways to inconvenience and make herself as annoying as possible is to her mail and packages delivered to my house, so she can call or text constantly asking about the mail or packages. It is the worst!!!

Bingo! I laughed, I almost cried. I can add one, "I'll walk out on you and leave you to die by our own hand when you tell me you're suicidal and then tell everyone that you left me so they will lambast you and comfort me." It worked too. I was locked up for walking into the ocean one night to let the water take me but they rallied around my mother because she told them her made-up story first. I knew I had to leave. It was almost like I did die. But only the deceived part of me. The part that was able to face the truth lives on. It's hard but it's better.

Oh my gosh, this is reliving my early life. I'm so glad I'm away from there now. That was so exhausting and painful. I'm so much better away from her. Unfortunately she has Alzheimer's now and doesn't know she has a daughter. I was always embarrassed to go around her friends because I never knew what she had told them. She is the biggest liar.

💯The mom of the narc that I know uses the “death card” to guilt her children into visiting(i.e.”I understand but if I die tomorrow…..”)

You hit the nail on the head. Triggered but glad you spread awareness

I could show this to my enabling father but he would refuse to believe any of it....but it is spot on about his pathological wife 🎯

All the points mentioned are so accurate / precise and I can now truelly see what they are - or she is , in my mother's case and that I was never "crazy or too sensitive or it was only my impression/in my head" - which all of these traumatized my childhood and young adult years and made me feel guilty just for Being. Very, very, very grateful 🥲🥲🥲 for all your videos and knowledge. It's like going to a therapist who truelly cares about me and understands me ❤❤❤❤ Btw, please DO more videos like this one

„I only want all for your good“, I reccognize my Mother and myself

This was incredibly helpful. You effectively demonstrated how the selfish and set beliefs of a narcissistic mother mean that any hope of working out a reasonable relationship with her is futile.

Thank you for creating this video, Danish sir! I am literally in tears after watching this video! I have experienced and still experiencing everything which you have shared! It’s so stressful and draining! I pray to God that no child should have a Narcissistic mother!

Fathers do this too. Mine would follow it every time with 'see what a good parent I've been'. It caused me to write in a diary years ago what a selfish daughter I was. It's just another control tactic of theirs.

I appreciate this video more than you can imagine. Thank you! Will you one day do a video about narcissist sons and daughters in law? It will help many.

Danish, you are spot on. When I wanted to get an after school job ( to build my self esteem), her reply was, “ What the hell do you want a gdmmed job for. I can buy you anything you want ( but didn’t) and your grades will tank (GPA was 3.8). (More worried that she wouldn’t have that to brag about). When I was 3 or 4, I washed her wool sweater in hot water to try and be helpful. For revenge 20 years later she ruined my wool poncho by putting it in thru the washing machine on regular, not delicate. It felted. “But I washed it in cold water!” Tried to turn me into her mini-me. Career, clothes, hair style everything. My daughter refused to go visit her with me. Before that we had to take regular Grandma breaks. She asked me how did I ever survive Grandma. My reply was that I didn’t.

It is an agenda of dominance. I include them in my prayers from afar. ✨️Thank you, Danish.

I haven't seen this yet but from conversations I had overhead when mom was on the phone or didn't realize I was just outside on my way home from school it pretty much went like Why does she get to do __________? I couldn't do that. The anger jealousy and hatred always ready to rear it's ugly head and after she would boohoohoo to anyone that would listen. Accurate to be sure... but without all the dramatic screaming, crocodile tears,etc. It reminds me of psychodrama which I have found a most useful tool and sometimes just journalling the narcissistic dialogue helps. Big 👍 Danish.

Danish, you NAILED it! Wow…wow… wow…any left over doubts and self gaslighting I had were just wiped clean. THAT is exactly what I have gone through. Thank you. Excellent!

Really battling with manipulation and guilt trips,the obligation card is one that is played and the interference is next level.I love my Mother but I am 53 years old and it's causing me stress.very difficult to set boundaries.I have to respect Mums boundaries but she constantly crosses mine,it's such a dilhemma😢

I've seen a few clips from others and they are shallow and thin. These are real as deep as they are, it's real. Thank you

I was shaking and the darkest memories flashed through my head.

Lol this is exactly how I vent! I act out situations, conversations…I make it a point to quote verbatim as much as possible, especially if someone is trying to minimize what I’ve gone through or they’re trying to prove that I’m just not being empathetic enough. It’s my poor communication skills that cause the conversation to turn sour. And that’s not even me talking about the past. That’s me trying to convince other family members that they’ve been roped into the narrative she created about me…so they’re keeping that false narrative alive…and do you hear what you sound like? Would you ever talk to your child that way? Would you ever talk to other people about your child like that when you know none of that is true? Do you hear how crazy that justification sounds when you say it out loud? Are my responses to your attempts for a civilized adult conversation…are my responses frustrating you? Because you sound just like that every time we try to small talk at every family gathering. It’s like clockwork and your lectures of justification have nothing to do with anything I just said to prompt small talk. Why don’t you go think about how frustrating it is to have a conversation with someone who talks like you talk at me. Do you want more wine? I’m going to get more wine.

You nailed it! That’s exactly how my mother in law operates and controls my husband!! He even hated his dad before due to his mom!!

Simply brilliant! Please do more of these! It just hits in a way that is so helpful. 🤗

Oh dear God bless you!... This is the best video you have ever made, it's spot on!... My mom (83 YO) just accused me of going in her room, says I put some stupid necklaces on the top of her closet are you f****** serious?... Time and time again I'm so f****** tired of being accused of s*** I didn't even do. I don't even know what the f*** she's talking about😭

My mothers ringtone in my phone is "mother knows best" from tangled, and her name in my phone is mother dracula because she sucks the life out of the people around her. Its quite fitting.

You did it very well, you are a Perfect narcistic Mother, you know how it works.

Danish, you did an absolutely wonderful job of playing the narcissist mother. Thanks for giving me insight into my own mother. God bless you.

My mother decided to be honest although she had no reason to be so mean, to say I was devastated is an understatement.

😭Let the healing continue 🙏

Well done, you are channeling my late narcissist mother.

You were on point! Thank you!!! I really liked this approach, it keeps clear exactly what she does, why she does it and keeps clearly before me how she'll do it. I see her coming and know how to make my exit immediately ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ THANK YOU

I don’t think my mom is a full narcissist but I’ve seen some traits. Like how even though my life sucks hers is always worse. I try to get support from her and she said that she can’t bring my dog back who passed a year ago when I broke down, or that she couldn’t afford to put me in a psych ward. She also makes Christmas the worst time of year to be around her and she always has to blame others for her behavior. It’s frustrating.

I hereby disown my mother from her motherhood. She is not my mother. This is anti-motherhood. Also, as I am approaching 40, I have seen female friends (not being mothers) turn into this behavior to everyone around them (which they already displayed as teens but I was still enduring All of everyone’s Crap). I am Glad I am not that way, nor will I Ever be. Their hatred towards me, is their wickedness. Stay strong people. And lean into what you deserve, love support friendship celebrations pregnancies long lasting marriages happiness gifts. Not the opposite. That’s cruelty if they do that to you, not loving care. 😠

You know my mom!. Wow. You are always right on. Blessings. Thank you you make me feel like i am not alone. 🙏

Perfection Danish! I’m laughing so much right now because I woke up with some of those horrible thoughts from my ‘narc tag team dearest’ (they are gone now) in their words expressed to me until their dying day. For me this is hilarious because I’ve been killing myself over what they’ve conditioned me to be but now, you’ve put it into perspective for me with a humorous spin😂I’m ready to move “past” their ridiculous antics with a laugh as I think about your video whenever their belittling creeps into my head!🤣Thank you once again🙏

Amazing this is my mother word for word!!!!!

Everyone with a narc mother needs to hear this! You nailed it 👏 If only they would be honest, would make it so much easier to leave. Thank you for helping lift the denial ❤ The guilt really gets me at times. Needed to hear this.

I was adopted 😂 so I didn’t get the “I gave birth” guilt I got the “this is better than orphanage or your real mother” 💀 is that not what loving mothers say? Oh… 😅

You've just described my mother to the letter. She is a full-blown covert narcissist, so she is also faking feeling bad just so that I stay at home. I figured all of this BS out in the recent 3 years, I'm 33, and I have always sacrificed having fun and going out just to stay home because my mom is "unwell". Also I'm adopted, illegally, and she never told me anything. I don't know anything about my roots and what happened with the baby me. But still, life is interesting man, especially in these unconventional circumstances.

This is right on track with how my Narcissistic mother is. My mother would even go so far as to give my brother and me each a yearly statement of what we owed her financially for everything we cost her since we were born!!! and expected us to pay it!! My father couldn't even come over to my house and change a light bulb without me getting an invoice for it.

they take all credit for good reflection, and no responsibility for bad

Yes. And my mother told me and everyone that I was crazy. She said she owned me. You nailed it.

My narcissistic mother did the opposite. She made me responsible for all of her needs. My father passed when I was 7. All these responsibilities started when I was 9. I became responsible for housework, yardwork (no gas or electric mowers in those days) , laundry (no modern washers, had to rinse by hand and use squeeze rollers to remove water, everything got dried on the clothesline), I started ironing before age 9 because I had to stand on a box to reach the top of the board. Everything she didn't want to do. She screamed at me everyday because things weren't perfect. I had to apologize. I tried very hard to make them perfect and I believe they were but she wanted to make me feel like a failure in every way. My golden child sister didn't have to do anything. Mother would go all out cooking and baking if company was coming for dinner because she loved the compliments. When I married (a narcissist) she conspired to make him feel entitled so that he would essentially carry on where she couldn't in making feel like I was a failure and wrong about anything. I left him and eventually I cut her out of my life completely. I knew I would not survive any more abuse as they had tried so hard to break my spirit. It's been a long healing journey and I have worked hard at it. I believe in myself and my right to protect myself and have as peaceful a life as possible. Thank you Danish for continuing to educate me and others.

That was very spot on. Simultaneously healing, humorous, and eye-opening. At first, it helped me see I wasn't crazy. Then I saw how messed up this situation really is. And by the end, I actually had empathy for her -- it must be miserable being a person who desperately needs that much constant attention and validation, to be someone who deep down believes they are SO unlovable, they have to constantly manipulate, squeeze, and drain it out of everybody else around them. Don't get me wrong. It SUCKS to be on the receiving end of narcissistic abuse. 1,000% awful. But wow... at least one day I escaped that relationship and began learning how to love myself and enjoy healthy relationships with friends. She, on the other hand, is stuck with herself for life.

If your parents complain about each other, remember: If they were normal, they would have NEVER run into each other. Especially if they seek your sympathy because they are treated poorly by their spouse 🤦‍♀️

Danish, I must say, you play an excellent narcissistic mother. It is like you are inside their heads and reading their minds. My mother would not let me have a relationship with my father. She was jealous of everything and did her best to try and destroy me. My father towed the line and would not help me. He had no control over her. She ruled the house, and everything revolved around her. She died last February, and I feel absolutely nothing. No grief, no nothing. Anyway, keep up the great work with these videos because you are always right on target. Regards and Happy New Year to all!

Just wanted to say thank you Danish for what you do. All these years I thought my family was strange and patriarchal, but I never realised my mother was a raging narcissist, and my brother is her golden child until I saw your videos. It helps me realise there was nothing I could have ever done to gain their love and respect. Been contact free for a year which is has been sad but enlightening.

The last phone call I ever took from my narc mom sounded so much like this. I put the phone on mute around 30 seconds in and left to take a shower. When I came back the call was disconnected but the log showed it lasted over 12 minutes.

Thanks for this. I have a narcissistic mother

What a video. I’m 20 and hits hard. Live with my mother who’s had 3 divorces now. Absolutely lost all hope in life and feel like a complete wreck. Feel like I have no skills because even when I use LinkedIn. I see someone else who’s doing much better, yes comparison is a thief of all joy but it’s fed into me. I’ve been lying about my relationship for a year because she hated my partner and made multiple comments about her, I lie to meet her whenever I can. Idk what to do.

It’s like you are talking about my narcissistic abusive mother but she is so much worse than this she’s the worst same with dad

The second wife part is just so real, it hit home

As always, you hit the nail on the head 😁 I laughed so hard😁😁😁 You described my narcissistic mum perfectly

My mother would go into extensive detail about my birth and how difficult & painful it was. Plus an unplanned pregnancy of course. I felt guilty for being born!

If there is a much more pathological and wicked term than Narcissistic, that would describe my mother.

PERFECT! u nailed it. It is a eye opener. Gives me more confidence to go on..and fight for my and kids survival..through all this...very few people are aware of these tactics. and mostly people tend to fall easy prey to this.. I want to thank you, for making the inspiring videos for people who are going through these troubled times. And i urge u to make more videos, to help us. Thank u again.

Danish this was great ,that role ,i felt really like this is in front of me thank you so much

So true! What a great podcast, Danish!!

Danish bhai, you are amazing

They think they own us and they behave like that. My mother once told me: what is yours is mine. O yes, even my children. Two weeks before she died she told me: i have let your children promise me Never ever contact your mother. She was a devil, i am sorry that i have to say that. Thank you Danish, this was a great way to tell us ❤😂

You did great! Very accurate

Yes my mother neglected my brother and I, growing up, in profound ways. I only realized it when I started seeing how my friends mothers treated them day in and day out . Made me confused and grief stricken and scared of her, the more I acknowledged these things to myself .