Thanks for watching! What have you ruminate over after a relationship with a narcissist? If you have any tips for overcoming rumination, please feel free to share. It may help someone! ❤🙏

My rumination turns into self-blame. I get mad at myself for not recognizing the situation earlier and putting up with so much for so long.

I left my Covert Narcissist husband of 17 years, 2 years ago. In my state you have to be separated at least 12 months before you can begin the divorce process. So for 2 years, I struggled. I ruminated, I kept hoping he'd realize what he was losing and begin to fight for the marriage. Today was the final divorce court appearance. I hadn't seen him for 2 years and I am not exaggerating, he looked dreadful. He's younger than me and he was always so handsome. Today in court he was unkempt, bags under his eyes and just a mess. It was bizarre. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that this was my husband. I was in divorce court with a complete stranger. When I went back to my car, I thought I'd be devastated, but I was relieved. Optimistic, buoyant, excited for my future (I'm 65). I was ruminating when I held out hope. The divorce freed me from the false hope. I'm so glad I pushed on even when I wanted to try again. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. BTW. I did take care of myself. I bought a little RV, and camped for the summer on Lake Michigan. I swam everyday, working up to 2 miles. I painted, hiked and made new friends. I also downloaded the app ABIDE, it helped me meditate. Gave me wisdom and peace.oh my goodness this is a banner day!!

There are no unicorns. No one is special. There are no soul mates. Only guys and dolls If your relationship gets to devaluation, believe them when they show you who they are. You know what needs to be done.

It doesn't make sense because we are of two brains, now. The trauma bond changes the brain and causes it to become addicted to the tormentor. A normal person would never do this, never put up with this. They would be on the next train out of town. We are impaired, desperate to make sense of something that never will. Our addicted brain tries to reconcile endlessly, thus the rumination.

It takes time to get over the break up, hurt people hurt people,you can say what if all day long, what if you didn't bump into this mental case, you must stop emotional thinking about them and realize that they are a narcissist and they are mental and will never change, so stop emotional thinking, and gas lighting yourself and move forward, they ain't worth it.👍 Christina and survivors and thrivers 🙏

An observation of my past: I found I was so completely enmeshed in my mother’s narcissistic behavior patterns I picked those up as “desirable” in others who were also narcissists and threaded those personality types throughout my friendships and love relationships in my past. I was like a child who felt worthless who found my mother’s behavior powerful and dominant and therefore significant to seek out in others. It was a sad starvation diet for certain.

It's so difficult and confusing when they barefaced lie to your face and accuse you constantly of, as it turned out, all the things HE was doing. Swore on his beloved father's grave he had never and would never cheat. All the while, multiple relationships, all unprotected sex. Just mind boggling the extent of the deceit. Thank goodness I am done with him now. Thanks, Christina 💕

Great tips. Thank you so much. I've been love bombed and then ghosted. Repeatedly by the same person. Sometimes it amuses me because I know it's not real, but another part of me wishes the love bombs were authentic because I'm lonely. It makes it hard to let go.

So important not to try force thoughts out of your head. Meditation is not about eliminating thoughts but about being the observer and not identified with them and learning to redirect your focus to a more empowering and productive perspective as you navigate day to day life.😀

I realize now that i overcame something i didn't even know was happening. I went through every memory and healed myself. Grateful to be free.

I needed this today, thank you. Especially the part about taking care of your body, I feel like I’m in a spiral and can’t focus on myself. I will take baby steps!

In my experience, I spent a lot of my life ruminating on this stuff. Several years go I learned about narcissism and the uniqueness of their abuse. My father was a violent malignant narcissist/sociopath and my mother was a covert/boarder line as far as I can tell. Gas lighting, violence and abandonment was commonplace. They sold it like that was everyone else’s home was like as well. Lots of conflicting things deep in my experience. I think the missing thing about ruminating is soaking in the WIN. When you finally find the information. Told in the way you experienced it. Learning that you are not crazy, is the biggest deal. You should really take pause and choose to celebrate the weight being lifted from our experience.

being a spiritual person, I consider the rumination of the narcissist living in our head as if it is a spiritual vampire - still feeding off of our energy... I think looking into cutting energy cords is also a helpful solution.

Jobs that are available now won't always be available but men who won't compromise will always be.

My rumination are mostly things my mother said ( that I'm crazy/ not normal/like being miserable) and how she made me feel like I'm never good enough. I always feel like a bad person and since I have OCD my brain obsesses with these thoughts and if you know how OCD intrusive thoughts can be you know it's constant doubt. I struggle to feel genuine ( because I was often told by my mother I was a faker) and feel like whenever I try to do nice things my brain tells me I'm just trying to trick people and I'm not genuine then I doubt myself more. It's so exhausting trying to build my confidence when feel like I can't trust myself and that loving myself flaws and all ( not being perfect) is bad

Thanks for the great information. Rumination has always been a problem for me, as an INFJ - and what I've learned is that INFJs are particularly prone to it. What I do is a type of meditation called "self-guided visualization" with music where I create the appropriate visuals which help me to achieve a certain outcomes. It is a technique that I learned from a Native American practitioner who leads vision quests. It is a very specific process with several "stages." It takes a bit of training but it is highly effective. If the ruminations creep back in after a period of time, I repeat the procedure as necessary and eventually the thoughts are extinguished immediately just by recalling a key image from the meditation.

Wow... How timely....I was just trashed and thrown away by a "friend" on Thanksgiving day. She really just like for people to use and what they can get from people. I gave her enough benefit of the doubt... enough if enough. I was played...plan and simple. Nothing was genuine. My heart still hurts. She left so abruptly when things weren't working for her anymore

This year, I've come to terms with my mother's dysfunction. She is involved with both sides of my family, despite her divorce from my father over 20 years ago. My ruminations seem to focus on wondering what negative things my mother has said about me, my life, and my relationship to my dad's family.

I've learned to be accountable and not expect accountability from the narcissist.

Yes, idk if it’s common, but I was hit by all this recently.. I left the relationship with abuser last summer... for some reason it’s all coming up Now. I am seeing it for what it is. I think I was in a denial phase for so long. Like surface level I knew but not deep down. I keep thinking I need to think it out so I can avoid it again as I didn’t see it at the time. But I’m trying to heal and self love and focus on BOUNDARIES going forward ❤️

Why does “rumination” return when you do not want it to do so? Every time I believe I have it under control for a spell, it comes back.😞 Even in my dreams I ruminate. I try to force myself to wake up, but am unable to do so at times…Its bizarre. Awake or sleep, it appears. 😳🤯

I really need one on one counseling bc just shredded. You are right I just can't sit here

I just decided to ghost a narcissist and this video is so helpful to me (a huge over-thinker!). This guy went from non-stop engaging with me and saying very serious things that hinted towards living together, marriage, having kids, being involved with my kids (which he all said was “flirting” that I took too seriously when he got bored with me). Literally, the guy was hitting on girls in front of me, and when I said something, he addressed my concerns on Saturday, then got mad and dumped me on Sunday. Then he returned two days later saying we just had a “bump in the road” and “this was our first fight,” but, when I went to see him a few days later and thought we had a good time, he dumped me over a really petty reason that made no sense (now I think he found a new supply and so he didn’t think he needed me again). Another two days passed and he texts me yelling that he doesn’t like my Instagram post - claiming I was rubbing my good life in his face. That made no sense to me, because he didn’t want to be with me anyways, but I lead him talk. Five days later he calls me apologizing profusely about treating me so badly, and begging for another chance. When I gave him one, he kept running hot and cold - between “we were never an item” and “oh let’s make all these plans together that serious couples would make.” And as soon as I left, he was acting put out to talk to me the very next day, then stopped responding to me. That’s when I found out he had a bad date that ended right before he called me, and then I found his profile on a dating site, after just asking for another chance with me! I blocked him everywhere at that moment. I have spent days wracking my brain to understand what I did wrong and why he put in all this energy to get me back if he wasn’t actually interested in me. He spent weeks acting like he liked me romantically and that I was the best match in the world for him just to turn on me as soon as I turned out to be human. I was turning a blind eye to things and giving him multiple chance when things felt weird because I was feeling attached to him. It’s hurtful to be toyed with! I didn’t deserve that! And this video made me realize that I didn’t like him, I was getting addicted to his love bombing and trying to get that good phase back. He was fake to use me, and that hurts...

I spent 7 years going through this cycle.. I put it down to her just blowing hot and cold …..I thought we had become very close plutonic friends and yes I thought we had a bond like I had never experienced before … but no … just a narcissistic game … had the final discarded about 4 months ago … she changed her job and my use was no longer needed….was heartbroken at first but began to think something strange had gone on … came to KZfaq and finally started to find answers… Can’t believe that at 57 now I fell for any of it … 7 years of lies just to give a needy woman her daily support in the work place … and by god did she need support…so many times crying on my shoulder… helping her with her work load .. and soothing over aguments with co workers …. I guess so just saw through her … only wish they had tipped me off … but she hid behind her anxiety and frailty… just lovely little Lorraine… not a bad bone in her …. As she liked to say …

Gaslighting is so frustrating...like constantly beind accused of stuff you know you didnt do, till the point you admit to stuff you didnt do! And then they hold that against you and then leave you for it...straight crazy making. My ex literally dragged me into counseling and did it to me there whike the counselor defender her. I divorced her and did one session with that counselor and showed her everything...she apologized right on the spot for not believing me she was having affairs and i wasnt just gaslighting her or being paranoid as she claimed...evidence based truths. I did find alot of peace with the rumination by prayer, anything that changes the dialogue in your thoughts. I personally found the rosary to be a prayer of powerful help. Mine came back four times and everytime it was just for her supply of sex..and it was always horrible feeling. I held so much contempt for her, so i wrote a letter and burned it, got rid of everything pertaining to her.

Look into their eyes in a sad situation. They'll be looking at others faces to mimic or not making eye contact. They have no tears

Great video & so true. You can never figure them out!! With mindfulness it’s good to really see something like you said about the leaf also focus on what you can smell & then what you can hear. Exercise & eating healthy & taking care of yourself helps also. Thanks so much for this video. Ruminating has been really bad for me as I really struggle if I can’t figure something out. 😔

Wow, you’ve explained narcissistic abuse beautifully. I appreciate this video because you’ve highlighted how different overcoming rumination is. Your advice to simply focus on a particular thing for even just 5 minutes is helpful. I’ve been meditating for years and right now, you’re right, it’s the last thing I want to do. But I will!! 🙏 thank you

Thank you so much for your videos. I am now 4 weeks no contact

Thank you Soooo So much for making this video!!! It was so very helpful for me! The holiday season, along with the fact that it’s soon approaching a year since I finally got free from my 8.5 year [toxic, hoovering, breadcrumbing, future faking, devaluating, discarding] relationship with a covert narcissist, smh, have had me paralyzed and truly barely able to function in day-to-day life due to Very Severe rumination, disregulation, and getting majorly triggered whenever conversations about my narcissistic parents or narcissistic ex take place. Plus, it makes me seem to others like I’m the one with a victim mentality (as you speak about in this video)…So needless to say, I’m definitely going to Have to begin weekly therapy sessions sometime soon, as it’s having a very harmful effect on my quality of life these days and my ability to stay on top of my responsibilities.

Fantastic breakdown (no pun intended) of the fallout period, and how a victim relives the trauma post narc. Not sure anyone else on the net has succinctly relayed these facts in such a clear and precise manner. Big thumbs up.

The worst relationship for you to be in, is the one you can't let go of. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

Everything goes south after the honeymoon or whenever the masks come off. Takes two to tango, I'm relived when they found someone else that makes them happy. Take what you learned with you. Your suggestions are valid.

I grew up with a narcissist and then married one. That's over 40years of rumination. It took me a year after the divorce to calm my mind.

Do you know how much you are helping me hang on? You are. And I appreciate your kindness and education every single day. I appreciate you, Christina! ❤️

Hey I found out that I ruminated all the talks we had together and situations all over and over because my brain just could not accept that all accusations narcissist had where based on unjustice and lie. They were not true. The way he saw me and expected things I should do were just unjust or overboard. So I could not accept in my head that I could not make him see the reality or truth about me. So that injustice made me ruminate again and again. So I wrote all in a piece of paper and then I saw that I have tried to explain all of our problems so many times and he just didnt believe me. An never will. Best thing to do is go no contact ans he has no more ways to play with you.

Very good video. You cant make sense of crazy and it makes normal people feel crazy and obsessive trying to figure them out

Thanks so much Christina so helpful 🙏

Yes, I am feeling emotional distress. Not sure if this person was a narcissist, Thank you

Great video, Christine. Rumination is a time killer for sure. My biggest beef with narcissism is that we only learn about it after the fact. After the damage is done. It should be a class that is taught in say... middle school. Home economics, pre-algebra, science, narcissism 101, P.E... after all, it seems like all narcissists go to the same school to learn their behavior, doesn't it? The narcissist is a home wrecker, a soul sapper, a people shredder that needs to be identified before they take action. It can only happen upstream.

Told her the crime she was doing to another woman and she gave me final silence.

Thank you so much! It’s still hard to wrap my brain around any of it!!!!😔

Thank you. Makes it easier to accept ❤. It is the same with family. Just a week ago no contact.

Perfect timing for me, dear Christina , thank you so much for this video 🙏🌷

I’m convinced I dated a narc for a year. He broke up (discarded) me every 2 weeks, because apparently I was too ‘skinny!’ He wanted me to put on more weight, I tried but couldn’t... not good enough for him, so discarded me. Then he would hoover me over and over, saying and making me feel ‘beautiful’ etc. I fell for it again and agin. A living nightmare, thinking back! He’s got a new supply now though, (someone with a lot more weight than me) Even though I still love him, never again i will put up that again with anyone!

Great link to core beliefs in the intro.

Yesssss ! It's so good when you recognise that it duzzent!! Make any sense!:)

I'm there now and I don't know how in the world to get past it hunts everything about me I'm still trying to do positive things with this keeps reoccurring thank you for sharing the video maybe I will learn something quick😢

Your videos have helped me so much.

This was really helpful. I was married for 27 years to a covert narcissist and eventually got out. I'm tend to approach life like a detective, always trying to understand dynamics in people and in society. I lost a huge amount of confidence and trust in my own perceptions and judgement because of the subtle gaslighting I endured for years. I've been stuck in a repetitive loop of confusing rumination, trying to figure out what happened and what was my part in it.. what could I have one differently.... why he appeared so quietly full of integrity, at the same time as being completely inensitive and would proclaim judgement on me, with quiet certainty (entitilememt), twisting every bit of blame for his own lack of care and support, into blaming me for his lack of support.. I keep trying to lay this relationship to rest and let it and him go... but then I get a rush of anger at a sudden memory of the way he treated me and our kids and then I go back into the rumination, hoping to finally find resolution and peace. My biggest regret is that I didn't value myself enough at the start and that I didn't get out in the second year of our marriage when it became apparent how undermining and wholly unsupportive he actually was ... but then I remember that I was fairly ill at that time, for about 2 years, and then was pregnant again... and also had no money to leave..so I forgive myself for the umpteenth time in this endless rumination process. The other thing that triggers it all again is if I come up against friends of his (former friends of mine) who tell me he Is such a lovely guy and they can't understand why I left him, and how I had devastated and nearly destroyed him. Interestingly, his mum said she totally understood why I left him and was surprised that I didn't leave years earlier. She said he was just like his father who was incredibly insensitive and uncaring. I just want him out of my head and my awareness. I cant believe it's been 15 years since I left and I still haven't resolved it in my head. He lives a few miles away, follows me on Instagram and our grown up kids visit him occasionally. Do I need to accept that I will never make sense of it all because none of it made sense? I avoid seeing him, or going anywhere he might be and also avoid all my former friends who took his side after I left him. There is a pretty vicious gossip network in this rural area. I ended up becoming a complete hermit, not helped by the fact that I developed severe M.E. following a virus, a year after I left him, so was bedridden for a long time. I feel a need to resolve things in my head because of the deep impact it has had on my self worth and my ability to relate to others .

I find i ruminate more and it birhers me more if i have fallen into one of his pre-emptive argument strukes where thet cause me ti walj our, thus making HIM feel jusrified being the victum. I kick myself for that. Theres been times when i've left wirhout any warning, and although i've doubted my decision, i've not thought about him as much. 🍒

I often come back to your videos for great advice - I appreciate you ♥️

I am going through this right now.

I want to add some tips that I have found useful. Make rumination your friend. I am not a clinician but in my experience with traumatic recovery from a toxin mother, older brother, and spouse, there is a good reason to ruminate. Your body/brain knows what you have been through doesn't make sense, so it goes back repeatedly to the same experiences until you "get it." Instead of trying to smack down these thoughts, take them very seriously. Write the thoughts down. Accept that there is a lesson there waiting to be learned. Once written down, you can tell yourself that the thought is now safe if you need to go back to it. Instead of riding the carousel of repetitive thoughts, ask you self WHY these thoughts are so important. In other words, to simply get off the carousel and watch it spin. Then look for the drive mechanisms of the carousel. Using mindfulness or similar, change your perspective from the thought itself, to why you are having the thought. I have found that many times if find myself "ruminating" it precedes a major change in understanding... Much like someone standing on a bridge finding the courage to jump into the water below. Long held beliefs die hard.

Thank you! Great advice.

My rumination not only involves being lied to and used for years, it also mainly involves feelings of inferiority, worthlessness, rejection, and stupidity. It has been 8 months and I am still unable to even reflect without feeling like I am being stabbed in the chest with the butcher knife. Meanwhile he is off living in unicorn and sunshine land with his new perfect woman. Everything he refused to give me over 7 years, he gave to her within 30 days. I waited for him for 7 years, and when he cheated on me and dumped me he said it was because he was tired of waiting on me. SMH

Hey Christina! That thumbnail! 😂😉❤️🙏

I think the “other” perception and opinions you get to learn one way or another, is tough. You have to have to be strong in your resolve that it’s not you. Therapy or coaching with someone who has been through it. Substitute utubes for your addiction to the narc. Choose topics you are ruminating on and multi play. Reset your self talk. Understand you are not incomplete just traumatized. Remove all traces of them including mutual friends. Think mutual friends are like a sealed bottle of whiskey to an alcoholic. Get a new hobby, anything at all. Hold your head high as a survivor who can live alone for a while. It’s not forever if you do the above. It will pass and your future is safer than ever before.

It’s funny, because I would often say OK hold on let me wrap my head around mess for a second… And he would say there’s nothing to wrap your head around it’s simple.

Excellent content

Thank you for addressing this. So helpful...❤

First I ruminated over proving the betrayal. Then I ruminated over the guilt around wanting to warn the new supply.

I had pictures of her on my wall...took everything off yesterday. I feel a lot better.

I appreciate much I have heard in your videos as I try to figure out whether someone I don't know well is a narc. But we are not separate from our brains and we do need to make sense. That's why videos like yours are helpful. Mindfulness and taking back space are good, but the logic of what the person we think might be a narc is actually doing is essential. Believing in our *ability* to make sense of things is too. PS Almost the next thing I read: "Remember to always ask yourself how you feel and remain true to what your actual desires are." Logic and feeling are both essential, as is remaining true to oneself and to love.

Wow, thank you for this. Definitely needed it. I just found your videos and have spent the last two hours binging them lol. I recently ended up being severely depressed and in emotional breakdown/burnout because of the stress I was feeling from a job/boss. I didn't understand it at the time, but since then have come to realize the boss' narcissistic behavior. Since quitting the job I have been obsessed and ruminating over it all and trying to make sense of my boss and our relationship. Her last attack toward me was an aggressive text out of the blue victimizing herself, blaming me for things I never said, and picking apart one of my social media posts. Since then, I've blocked her on everything but have found myself so hesitant to post anything on my social media because of her, and now I know I need to stop holding that space for her! Thanks so much for your helpful and insightful videos!

My rumination is what i wish i could have said to my former friends, explaining to others how they behaved, and having others believe me. sometimes its even darker its imagining them doing things that i only suspected they did but did not have 100% evidence to prove. I hate that i give them so much thought and energy, its been about 1 1/2 since i went no contact. i just cannot seem to get over it. i hate that at times i wish them bad luck, it makes me feel like a shitty person, but i cannot stop ruminating.

This is spot on. Thank you.

The relationsh!# that I had with the person who fully opened my eyes and heart to the fact that his exists, was short termed. It cut the deepest. I figured since I didn't learn previously, the lesson intended, this was the one that broke me open and although I feel it took a shorter time than what I'm learning and seeing could be years, I am doing my best to heal myself and the issues that were mirrored to me through this . I had no idea it would cause a spiritual awakening, I'm in this wide open, want this shit to hurry up and pass space, yet I am appreciative for what I'm learning at this time. Finding your videos is confirmation if that and I've been coming up on some great content. I thought I was being obsessive with my research but I appreciate it immensely! Thank you for your approachable manner to dealing with the residual effects of encountering narc abuse, it's deeper that what's romanticized.

It's so true nobody is good enough for the narc (🙂 my ex narc passed away without a love interest 🤷 he even told me himself that he didn't love no one) and nothing is ever good enough for the narc either PLEASE don't worry, you WON'T miss out on anything trust me just leave him/her.

7 weeks after breaking up with my covert narc psychopath, I thought I was making some good distance from the ruminating and obsessively trying to figure out every lie he told and how all the puzzle pieces fit. Except today, I keep thinking about one situating in particular, wanting more information, more answers but knowing that it's not even worth thinking about because it won't change the fact I know who he is now and there's nothing I can do to change anything in the past. It hurts my pride though to be honest. I just pray for the next victim that she will see him for who he is and RUN!

I think the hardest part for me is that the person never cared and it was all a lie.

I like. The Rubik's cube is specific while rumination seems to delve into open ended suggestions that are more attack mode than anything else.

Thank You … Thank You SO MUCH

This was such good info! I’ve been learning about how to heal from my narc dad for years and this is one of the best videos I’ve come across 🙏

These narcs, they have a history of shit relationships. And the best predictor of future relationships are past relationships. The common denominator in all of them is the narc. You didn’t enjoy the game while you were in it, let it play out exactly the same without you.

When you realize you can’t possibly do any more it’s time to go.

You're excellent!

I experienced this once in the past. I couldn't get it out of my head. I thought about suicide. Eventually it just fizzled away. People told me I didn't do anything wrong. It was all them from what they could tell.

Interesting that they do not compute. Until we have the Narcissist Playbook. H.G. Tudor cites that Narcissists use 'Anti-Logic' to drag Empaths into their vortex. But the Anti-Logic will never be solved. K ; )

work on improving yourself for your next relationship: Health, fitness, clean your place, clean your car, career, education, friendships. DATE! Break the rumination with anything that works: Exercise, music, funny videos or movies, time with friends and family, reading etc. I know because I am an introvert that rumination is part of my existence and I am trying to shake off a toxic woman.

Thank you I have been trying to get over ruminating and this helps...

This was really really great

Thank you very helpful ❤️🙏❤️

Thank you

1:15 in and I am going to say it is because in reality we want to see them suffer as much as we have suffered. Revenge is not a good thing people. It only shows we are as capable as being like them if we don’t control ourselves. 8:09 cheating is the norm today. Have tried so many times to explain to my ex wife the destruction she has caused and it always either goes nowhere or she gets mad and either explodes or swiftly walks away. I catch myself talking about it out loud so many times like I am trying to figure out a different way to explain it to her so she will get it. I have wasted so much energy and mental health on someone who has never really cared. At least I got 4 amazing kids out of the deal. Yes it ended up a deal with her I thought it was a committed lifetime relationship.

You have been so helpful. Much love.

Amazing video. Thank you so much.

Nothings going to go back to where it was ...

Wow. Thank you!!

I wish I could be like a child again, like I was when I was 7 or 8, just enjoying keeping house plants, haha!:)

Excercise,meditation,avoidance

Mine pushed me so hard through so much emotional torture that it was nearly every weekend. He would set up a small thing that would cause me to question something, knowing i was insecure because he'd messed with my mind so bad with mind games. I'd ask the question, and he'd strike like a rattlesnake into horrific screaming and shouting so bad he'd lose his breath.... trying to fill in every nanosecond of screaming so that i could not have a single chance to speak. The pain of this went right through me knowing there was no way to stop him and he'd lose his mind, and then hang up on me and disappear for the weekend, as he ignored my texts. He left me with no ability to say a word other than text so I'd blow up his phone. It was like a sword had just been plunged into my stomach as I desperately tried to let out the pain. But he was silent. 2 days of texting, because i had so much to let out and he refused to EVER speak about the issues. When we'd come back to talking on the 3rd day, which was always me having to call him, he'd be on high guard, almost daring me to piss him off again, and I just continued trying to make it work. I KNEW it was abuse. I loved him so much and he was an alcoholic, and he finally told me he was going to get sober. He faked it. He started sneaking and lying about it. He'd get so vicious unless i kissed his ass. Told me I'm a miserable person, and that I just dont want him to be happy, and that he's moving on with his life so he can be happy. 100% of the time he made me feel like I was the one causing it all, because I asked questions. There's so much to it that I forgot so much because of the chaos. I was always crying and terrified of him ending it. He didn't care. I constantly told him how bad he was hurting me and he'd just say I did it to him too. He did admit he doesn't know where the rage came from and kept saying he was ADHD. He has singlehandedly made me lose all hope for any happiness at all in my life. I was single for 10 years before him, swore off any idea of a relationship and he was the one i fell for because I'd known him for years and he'd always seemed so respectful. The signs were there-- he admitted to cheating on his ex repeatedly. I feel like the weakest person in the world. I have a large sphere of friends and don't want to talk to any of them. I just want to disappear.

THANK YOU!

POWERFUL!!

Thanks

Yeah I ruminated for a long time after my ex finally broke up with me.

Should I remove gifts she bought me in love bomb phase? Funny how I never got gifts after that phase

I feel like I was just stabbed over and over again this entire video....

Lol I love this I'm a Cancer I'm a ruminating person he's a Capricorn with narcissistic disorder how do I fix that he's actually a good person but right now I'm not talking to him because he won't allow me to talk he's the one that does all the talking his brain cannot handle when others talk to him