NARCISSIST'S FINAL DISCARD: 6 Ways to Begin Healing
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In this video, I'll talk about why it's so difficult to heal after the narcissist's discard and share 6 things you can do to get closure and begin healing after the final discard.
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0:00 Intro
01:35 Why discards are harder than typical breakups
5:26 First step
7:46 Second step
8:54 Third step
12:41 Fourth step
15:52 Fifth step
16:15 6th step
#narcissist #finaldiscard #narcissism
*In this video, I share the tips, techniques and insights that have worked for me in my own journey of healing after narcissistic abuse along with expert tips and tools I've learned through years of coaching narcissistic abuse survivors. I am not a therapist and this video is not meant to provide therapy of any form. #narcissist #covertnarcissist
@easylife-fy2im 2 жыл бұрын
it's almost a year now and i still cry myself to sleep sometimes.. it's hard but i am healing..
@LittleTaiChiMermaid 2 жыл бұрын
Tomorrow is my divorce court. Once I stumbled on to the information of what a Covert Narcissist is, I implemented a firm boundary. He responded with a 9 month silent treatment. I used that time to plan my exit. In reality, he discarded me years ago, but I took the initiative to get a divorce, which surprised him. I think he thought I'd keep accepting the pattern. I'd have gotten out of the mess sooner if I knew what I was dealing with. These videos on Narcissist abuse, have saved my life.
@mairimillar8866 2 жыл бұрын
People advise you to simply forget these evil people and move on but it helps so much to understand it. Christina, very grateful for your insightful and gently-delivered advice 💕
@imkevanrees7178 2 жыл бұрын
Yes exactly, for me it helps so much to understand things. Understanding of both sides. And most importantly, my side so I can work on it. His side, his choices, that's his life. Thankfully not mine anymore. Now it's ME time😁 although it's tough because I sometimes don't know who I am anymore. So waking up and do that thing that makes me happy, is still very difficult for me.
@kellkell852 8 ай бұрын
If it happens enough times for you, you will get feed up. I'm there now. Now that it is clear to me on how he really feels about me. The disrespect, betrayal. I can't believe I really put up with this for 4yrs. I'm done done. My eyes are open and now I'm very embarrassed and pissed at myself as well. I aloud the mistreatment self respect. He wasn't even my type. I was lusting, codependency. And I knew better. 🤦🏾♀️🙄
@spectry6 2 жыл бұрын
It hurts so much. She changed on me out of nowhere and I kept trying and making excuses to justify her behavior. It aggravates me that my mind is showing me all the red flags I missed. All the signs that pointed to cheating. The gaslighting. All I did was love her. Now I’m in therapy trying to figure out and remind myself that I’m not a narcissist. But not being sure from all the projection she did. Her telling me I was verbally abusive when I didn’t even get a word in. But she kept getting mad at me when ever I tried to voice my feelings. And yet I still miss her. I hate this so much. Crying over someone who doesn’t exist. Paranoid that I’ll run into her even though I live in a big city. I don’t know who I am anymore. 1 month since the discard. I used to love mornings. But now it’s a bad record that starts over everyday.
@Suzielu1 2 жыл бұрын
Mundo i hope you are better... It is excruciating.. Physically hurts... For me it's been a couple months.. But there is hope.. Give it time.. And don't give up.!
@zhshsG7 Жыл бұрын
These have been exactly my feelings. I hope you're better now.
@allennmickk3705 Жыл бұрын
Same here 😌
@allennmickk3705 Жыл бұрын
We were engaged and she was liking and then removing my comments off of her page on Facebook... Found out she's been talking to another guy for 2 weeks.
@dinab7852 Жыл бұрын
I feel the exact same way about my Narcissistic husband whom I finally left after 4 years of marriage of hell (especially the last 2 years). He manipulated me, hurt me in every possible way & stole my money. I finally left him 18 days ago after his physical abuse got so out of control that I had to get him arrested. The worse part is that I'm having a really difficult time forgetting about him. We were married for 4 years but together for 10 years. Time truly does heal all wounds...
@thebigh9635 2 жыл бұрын
The scariest thing in retrospect is just how hooked I was , to the point where they defined my decisions my truth , and even my reality ! A year on post discard and I am still suffering with a kind of weird toxic hangover ! I still feel and hear their opinions and thoughts on everything that I do and every choice I make , it's like they are still sitting there on my shoulder , like an old devaluing ghost parrot 🐦 🙄😝, but it's not them , just their influence still haunting me ! You have to realise they really ARE gone , they are getting on with their routines on someone else , and now you are free to live your life , and send that damn bird of self doubt away 😜💋x
@carriedillmann4455 2 жыл бұрын
I understand how you feel! I’m so accomplished and when my Brother said “ why didn’t you divorce him earlier ? It is SO HARD TO EXPLAIN!!!!!!!!
@somerandomyoutubechannel5816 2 жыл бұрын
I deeply understand this experience. Sometimes it makes it impossible to make decisions. I have to stop and think through what’s really happening - that these are not my thoughts about me, they are his abusive words. Then I can begin to make that decision I get stuck on. It’s such a difficult healing journey.
@playalot8513 2 жыл бұрын
I've been no contact for over 11 months now and yet still think kind thoughts about the narc even tho the divorce process has been abusive and devastating. It's like my brain can't hold on to the truth of who he is. We were married for 27 years and the discard was unexpected, brutal and financially ruined my present and my future retirement... and yet part of me thinks about him kindly. It sucks and I wonder if I'll ever be free of all of this
@madmonkey823 2 жыл бұрын
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you find peace
@_no2698 2 жыл бұрын
You must be a really good hearted person to think about him kindly even after the brutal discard.Please be kind to yourself and love yourself as much as you can.Please don't let anyone else ever take advantage of your kindness ever again
@chavelahutchinson2657 2 жыл бұрын
@Playalot It's going to take time because 27 years is a long time. Your kind thoughts of him are really just plain ol' denial. It's a defense mechanism.You don't want to face the fact that the relationship was abusive. You don't want to deal with the rejection. This person wounded you very deeply. You deserve better. Please get counseling. I'm praying for you.
@playalot8513 2 жыл бұрын
@@chavelahutchinson2657 been with a great counsellor since it all happened. It might be denial, but perhaps it's still just habitual thought patterns as cognitive dissonance was probably the only way I could cope while I was still married. It would just be nice to be finally free of thinking about him and the why and how of it all.
@sylviaking8866 2 жыл бұрын
I have the same problem. I was married for 28 years. One has to break the trauma bond. Not an easy thing to do. Best of luck.
@triplekids3 2 жыл бұрын
I finally snapped on August 28/2020 I left all the toxic people in my life, I’m finally healing, I thank God for removing me , from there
@CommonEgo 2 жыл бұрын
The people we surround ourselves with can really impact our emptiness wellbeing 🙏❤
@harleyfsbo3027 2 жыл бұрын
@triplekids3 - I wish I could SNAP like that and just put everything behind me once and for all. Then I would take that HISTORICAL date, print it out in a big bold font, put a frame around it and hang it on the wall to remind me of my MONUMENTAL lifetime achievement. Sigh...I so wish!
@Leona.luna8 2 жыл бұрын
What keeps me stuck is trying to understand them.
@gerberdaisy2388 2 жыл бұрын
This was/is spot on for the push/pull dynamic -- people that haven't experienced how dramatic it can feel in your wounded/broken self ... IT IS an addiction. Thank you, btw, for all your work, you are helping me to heal.
@angelar3997 2 жыл бұрын
Needed to hear this so badly! Thank you for this video. I’ve just literally had my world overturned by a narcissist and I’m still so raw and drained.
@CommonEgo 2 жыл бұрын
So glad it was helpful 🙏❤
@lilianaduran9387 2 жыл бұрын
I’m currently stuck in this situation… mentally I’m not in a relationship with this narcissistic man. But physically, I have a 22 months old and a 8 month old. I feel so helpless and stuck … your videos have helped me realize so much so I thank you for that. I’ve been asking myself a lot lately “what does he actually provide and bring to this relationship.” And “what do my kids benefit from this relationship.” And so far I have a list of bad things. It’s so hard to find something good that I benefit from having this person in my life…. Other than abuse, loneliness, anxiety, panic, fear.
@tammyfitzgerald5336 Жыл бұрын
Remove the kids or he will make em narcs 🙌💥🙌💥🙏🏽🙏🏽
@Bob-zh6dw 10 ай бұрын
I wrote down a dozen things I brought to the relationship of 11 years with a female covert narcissist and when I asked her to list what she brought to the relationship, she walked away and gave me the silent treatment for 3 days. Every time I would ask her questions about us, it was ALWAYS met with the same response. ALWAYS 3 days of the silent treatment. I finally walked out on her 4 years ago and still invoke NO CONTACT. She married new supply within 5 months and it's her 4th marriage. How pathetic!
@loveablewomen8299 2 жыл бұрын
Going no contact sounds like the best thing, but when u have children it’s awful. I have no contact with him now but even just him speaking to them on the phone gives me anxiety. He still puts me down to them and calls me pathetic. I just want to run away and times. I don’t think it will ever end
@carriedillmann4455 2 жыл бұрын
I understand how you just want to run away! You didn’t ask for this treatment Keep listening to these videos. They will give you knowledge and strength to be INDIFFERENT to this piece of crap!!!!!! We Care about you !!! Stay strong ! Your knowledge will carry you through !!!❤️
@margaritales9972 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this caring advice. Even if we still love that person, we need to remove ourselves from the situation and stay away from their abuse. We sort of need to love our self more and take our safety seriously.
@monmonz9151 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Christina. 10 months, no contact.
@breakthrough1019 2 жыл бұрын
I must say .. you did an amazing job explaining the push / pull and I realized that it happened mire than several times .. after that I became a pioneer for my future .. thank you CHRISTINA MANY BLESSINGS 🙏🏽👑
@CommonEgo 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you 🙏❤
@allysiren Жыл бұрын
omg yes. i need to remember this discard is good. thank you all this is resonating with me. 100% the betrayal, abandonment wound. yes, i am not doing too bad, i looked at the addiction face on. i watched a documentary on narcissistic abuse and a movie called phantom thread. I have a tendency to romanticize things and NO. I see things for what they are now.
@paulinacruz3827 2 жыл бұрын
This was extremely helpful. Even after the final discard, I'm still addicted to the push/pull dynamic. This video finally helps me put a name to it. I am able to start seeing other times he discarded me and the did hoovering. He was verbally abusive and blamed me for provoking him. He then went on to cheat on me and blamed my lack of attention towards him. I basically gave him no other option but to cheat, he was so lonely. smh The hardest part is believing who he really is and learning to heal and trust myself again.
@anwarallie 2 жыл бұрын
Very difficult to heal. I thought I was healed. Clearly I'm not. A year and a half later and I'm still struggling from the abuse. Simply because she hoovers and I fall for it each time. It's like I'm helpless to resist. I know all the reasons, but my mind and heart are in conflict.
@kirabarsmith9353 2 жыл бұрын
Excellent post, Christina, you are a very talented communicator. It's awkward to acknowledge the feeling of wanting to be pulled back to a toxic person, but it's true. For me, the hardest part of fully separating from narcissists is acknowledging there is no hope for a healthy relationship with that person. Like you said, it's really hard to un-see the goodness you thought you saw in someone, even when it was an illusion all along. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom, it's much appreciated.
@rce3321 2 жыл бұрын
Yep, 2 years on and I'm still not convinced leaving has improved my quality of life.
@kirabarsmith9353 2 жыл бұрын
@@rce3321 Interesting, thanks for sharing. I started purging the toxic people from my life about two years ago, the upside is more freedom, and peace and quiet, the downside is loneliness. I made the right choices, but it's hard for me to wrap my mind around why pretty much everyone in my life was a narcissist. It's disturbing to know so many people in our society have mental illness, and there's no way it's natural, I believe narcissism been harnessed as a weapon to divide and conquer the public. This is a topic I've never heard any narcissist channel address. It makes me sad to think I could've had a normal family and friends if there wasn't a powerful force pushing this personality disorder.
@rce3321 2 жыл бұрын
@@kirabarsmith9353 Have a look at the work / video channel of Sam Vaknin, if you haven't already. x
@kirabarsmith9353 2 жыл бұрын
@@rce3321 I'll check it out, thanks for the tip.
@vp5134 2 жыл бұрын
As much as I fully see how toxic our relationship had become, I still hoped to be pulled back. Just because that's the immediate solution to the pain. But the pain will be even more if we allow ourselves to be pulled back only to get discarded once more. It takes a lot of courage to accept that what we thought was live, wasn't... :-(
@exoticlady3scanines 2 жыл бұрын
I know now and understand the crazy cycle now and how it sometimes triggered an unresolved trauma bond that needed healing within me. In the last ordeal with a narcissist when I discarded him, it was during one of those cycles. I was over it and in hindsight I wish I would have pulled that plug a lot sooner. I'm healing and focusing on me and it feels empowering. My mind is a lot clearer and my peace has returned. I hope that everyone who is dealing with a toxic narcissist chooses themselves over the toxicity.
@Jillian15 9 ай бұрын
Thank you young lady your videos are very helpful for all ages. Blessings from Australia 🇦🇺 ❤
@dvalore 8 ай бұрын
This is a really helpful video. Thank you. I've been stuck feeling worthless after being discarded, rationalizing all the bad stuff he did to me, self blaming, feeling less than. I just ran into him and his new girlfriend and it opened up the wound in me. I thought I'd be able to handle it, but I just felt: Why is she considered better than me? Why wasn't I worth being called a girlfriend? Why did I allow him to lead me on and use me? It's the back and forth with them - you're jonesing for the compliments and feeling special - just to have them turn around and shut you out, reject and smear you - over and over. I wish I could figure out and heal my core issues so I could move on. I keep searching for steps to untangle the mess.
@dinab7852 Жыл бұрын
This KZfaq channel is a life savior! 🙏🙏🙏
@The_green_zebra 2 жыл бұрын
I look forward to your videos every week. It feels like I'm talking with a good friend. Thank you for putting these videos out. They have saved my sanity 💕
@jeffunderwood6235 2 жыл бұрын
I am on my final discard..to be continued LOL Great video friend
@Barkentin 2 жыл бұрын
Yes final discard, im free ;-) its FREEDOM. hold the door.
@Taylorf62 Жыл бұрын
This video helped me so much. Being distracted is so painful yet liberating.
@jeanneeber 2 жыл бұрын
You hit it on the proverbial "nose" & in the gut! A punch to the gut of the victims who's excuse making for them explains the enablers surrounding these toxic predators who "back up" their toxic, back stabbing, two faced phony Narcissistic personality who's "caring" is a lie & is explained away by "how much they've done for you"-at your expense & to your own detriment without a hint of remorse or compassion. TOXIC is the only word that perfectly describes them! That push/pull is familiar & normal in an addictive family & "feels" normal! It's a trauma induced relationship that "hooks" you in!
@diverdave641 2 жыл бұрын
I needed this today, thank you
@dil7667 2 жыл бұрын
This is very supportive. Thank you❤
@birdworldist 2 жыл бұрын
Great video thanks
@carriedillmann4455 2 жыл бұрын
Yes I understand myself now The difference is I never want a new relationship ! I’m wonderful with me !!
@janewild9150 2 жыл бұрын
Carrie, what you said is just how I feel. Who needs more complicated , needy people in their life? I am beginning the leaving process, after a lifetime of enduring. I truly did not know about narcs! And reading what all of you say, and what Christina teaches us, it makes the Nomad lifestyle sound so good! Just me and my dog…off on adventures! God bless us all!
@vp5134 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Christina. It's very helpful. Acknowledging our own patterns is so important. And accepting the fact that it's human nature to want to be pulled back to ease the pain. Thanks to people like you, we are reminded of the reality. That the narcissist will discard again after the pull back, only to make it more hurtful.
@herringandsc3523 2 жыл бұрын
Very good video!
@nicolahalpin1455 Жыл бұрын
This has been so helpful. Thank you x
@brianjeannette 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Christina 🙏
@jcdezmen 2 жыл бұрын
I was discarded by my lady. She then went and told everyone that I'm a narcissist. I don't think she's Narc. but I do think she's a borderline. I'm hurt
@CommonEgo 2 жыл бұрын
Sorry to hear that, JC. It's never easy. Rooting for your comeback 🙏❤
@utubestalker.dotcom 2 жыл бұрын
Thank her for her opinion and move on
@faceofglam 2 жыл бұрын
Live your best live for YOU, and completely erase her from your life, start new healthily and beautifully that’s the ultimate flex/revenge/come up.. stay blessed❤️🩹
@Dave__f 2 жыл бұрын
Wow fantastic video. I wish I watched the entire thing when I got the notification
@MySunshine234 2 жыл бұрын
So helpful thank you
@katiedixon2131 2 жыл бұрын
So well explained, really clicked in my head. Thank you ❤️
@user-ld9nk6te8f 4 ай бұрын
Thank you so much for your videos… it helps me so much.
@Christina-jp2gv 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for the description here! The identifying of the “push/pull” that IS so familiar & to just naming that for me? It really made it seem so much less devastating /terrifying /overwhelming! Thank you.
@ada5141 2 жыл бұрын
Saving this video to listen to in the future when I'm feeling weak. Thank you 💗
@ryanagustin5868 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you Christina.. :)
@sophiekade5571 2 жыл бұрын
this is so helpful again, Christina! ❤ thank you so much. over the last couple of months your videos have helped me a lot to recover from a relationship with a man who clearly had a lot of narcissistic personality traits.
@petuniaandpoppy4615 2 жыл бұрын
Commenting for the algorithm. This video needs to be seen.
@pameladeleone135 2 жыл бұрын
Very good presentation.
@catlady6938 2 жыл бұрын
This is very good and interesting when you say look at yourself . I had been in a long term relationship on and off with a narcissist for 20 years and yes experienced the push pull many times. It ended over 6 years ago and then I met someone else who also turned out to be a narcissist but even worse than the first one. It has made me think am i addicted to the push pull. I need to do a lot of work on myself. Thank you Christina for this insight and giving me lots of food for thought.
@samanthamcnamara2223 2 жыл бұрын
I’ve just found this channel. So glad I did. I really feel every single word you’re saying. So spot on.
@jamesarmstrong4179 2 жыл бұрын
Samantha McNamara,You look stunning,hope you are not with a narcissist....
@prasijaparu7029 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you mam ❤️
@janicelawson49 2 жыл бұрын
Wonderful
@carriedillmann4455 2 жыл бұрын
I experienced everything you said
@hellodenise9612 2 жыл бұрын
Have you been spying on my relationship? Crazy how spot on you are!
@AG-bw2oe 4 ай бұрын
I really appreciate you and your work. I have to thank you, because I believe you're really helping me. I wish we were closer,. I would surely come to see you. I know we could do it with videocalls, but I believe it wouldn't be the same. I am still thinking about it anyway...
@bumblebee803 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Christina, I'm brand new to your channel. I'm guilty of all the bad patterns you mentioned. (To add) I am on the receiving end, NOT the other way around. I am an empath who has been abused for 45 years. But am finally free.
@ghostrecon3834 2 жыл бұрын
You abuse people for you own pleasure? Kinda fucked up.
@bumblebee803 2 жыл бұрын
@@ghostrecon3834 I think you mistaken what I meant, I'm guilty of allowing all the narcissists of treating me in all the bad ways she mentioned. OMG! I'm a recovering people-pleaser/scapegoat and am healing, why would I be here otherwise?
@mariestevenson1630 2 жыл бұрын
His drinking affairs no communication between us never having my back he has. I respect for and nor does our kids
@tillytiny123 2 жыл бұрын
TY Christina for another insightful video. After 4 months of having to still live with my narcissistic ex, I have now left. During those 4 months there were times when he tried to hoover, but I did not go back thanks to the strength your videos gave me. 3.5 weeks ago I was able to leave. He bought me out of the property we jointly owned and I have bought my own house in another town. I have not had any contact since I left and I have never been this happy in such a long time. There is no going back... ever!!! Keep up the good work. You are amazing 👏 ❤
@CommonEgo 2 жыл бұрын
I love to hear that you're much happier now 🙏❤
@susanmeadows4680 Жыл бұрын
First covert narcissist. My heart is shattered. Discard almost 3 weeks. He did a real number on me, wouldn't have suspected it. Trying to accept it, and start healing, I'm grieving alot. Thank you for your help. ❤️🙏
@deastman6243 2 жыл бұрын
It's like you were there with me during my experiences with my family and primarily my parents,sister, and ex-husband. Mixed blessing my parents now both past, I haven't had contact with my sister In 20 years, the rough one to deal with still is the Ex-husband, while our 3 kids are adults, we still have to have contact with each other. Most recently this past Sunday, and he tried to bully me 3 times, and then pick a fight with me in front of our Son and my sons Girl friend. I pushed back the bullying attempt and called him out on the trying to pick a fight with me. I have PTSD from things my family and EX have done,long term affect I can't trust people, and I shelf Isolate.
@BigPete44 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Christina! I hope you’re doin well!! 😍🙏❤️
@CommonEgo 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Pete! 👋 🙏❤
@abathingcrepe9090 Жыл бұрын
8 Years together. 2 kids. Boy 6. Girl 5. Married in 21. Divorced in 22. We were married for 9 months and she moved out 5 doors down. Moved a convicted felon of a violent crime into her house with the two littles. She instantly filed a restraining order on me. She was up the street with the kids with this crumbum who was from 100+miles away. Fast forward…. She leaves that. Comes back home. For the 10th different time. I rushed thru the divorce and yes I took her back in August. Fast forward now. She’s leaving again. And I am just at the breaking point but at the same time I’m craving her attention. The same attention and energy she bagged up and is using it on someone else. I’m broken. I feel like god gates me.
@new_hampshire Жыл бұрын
I was discarded two weeks ago, and I hadn’t stopped crying until I finally figured out what happened and then it’s not my fault and I’m trying to get my self-esteem back and trying not to love him for the good things that he was for me
@mariestevenson1630 2 жыл бұрын
I’m going to counseling
@marycanfield8654 2 жыл бұрын
TY. CC would be great!
@karlataylor1172 Жыл бұрын
Omg final discard sounds like an absolute dream!!! Please please please!!! How do l bring about the final discard??NOOoooo l want nothing more than for them to leave me alone. Permanently! 🙏
@MissBree5353 Жыл бұрын
My abusive man used to be in the us coast guard.He used to have a business.He used to have a good life.I used to believe all his lies ! Go ahead and start your new exciting life without me.I like myself and no longer have to listen to your constant complaining.I used to be a part of your life.Good bye jimmy ..You are free to go.. Sincere from Miss Bree
@peengoo 2 жыл бұрын
So It has been almost a year by now and I am grey rocking my ex narc . These days he is trying to get in touch with me to show his new girlfriend and how much they are in "love". I don't know what is wrong with him lately. He seems at his worst phase right now. He is sends me emails / messages showing me what she gifts him, where are they going for the vacation. She is gifting him similar stuff what I used to gift him. When we are together , I used to gift him funny paintings , I used to plan some thrilling vacation activities - paragliding, kitesurfing etc. They were all my ideas. It feels like he is making her my clone , or showing me that she is similar or even better than me. I don't know what to respond to this kind of stuff so I usually keep quite or sometimes reply with a single thumbs up emoji. Thank you Christina for all of your videos. They are extremely helpful. And to all of the narc survivors - Big hug and support !! Heal soon and get stronger.
@braveheart2657 2 жыл бұрын
No judgement here. All of us who have been through narcissistic abuse has struggled and finally had to come to some realizations that are very hard and soul crushing. One of those realizations is that In order to heal and totally move on we must choose ourselves and close that loop forever and end the cycle of abuse. The other is narcissists do not have the capacity to love or care. No empathy or compassion. There is nothing good that comes from a narcissist. All they do is destroy peoples lives…. Why have you left yourself open so he can slither himself back into your life? Why have you not gone no contact and blocked him from being able to contact or communicate with you? You know a narcissist has nothing good to bring to you or your life. Also since he is able to contact you (which I would immediately change) How about No Response! Silence is golden. Stop playing with fire! Also realize everything is an illusion and meant to hurt you. So pull the plug and stop giving him an opportunity to torture you.
@peengoo 2 жыл бұрын
@@braveheart2657 I understand it might be confusing for you that why I'm not going No contact with him. Unfortunately I can't. As He and I have so many people / relatives in common. For example - his elder sister and my uncle are a married couple. Now I avoid attending family events like wedding etc. We were also classmates many years back, so teachers / students etc were common. We did internship together but that time we were just classmates nothing more. And now I Am trying my best to stay from him and I'll be very very careful not to work with him in future. He lives in my neighbourhood (rental apartment). I have my own house which I bought after saving for years my hard earned money. And I am not leaving my house because of him. I will grey rock him my entire life. But if necessary I am more than ready to fight.
@cyberrasputen1718 2 жыл бұрын
I would say congratulations to those that have been discarded if not for the problem of them tending to come back after years to try to get validation from you after you’ve started moving on. The sooner you start moving on, the sooner that will happen. But you don’t want them back. You don’t need them in your life. You never did. They needed you and they still do, but you definitely don’t want to let them back in. Don’t think things are going to get better. Whatever you think was there, that spark, you have to understand that doesn’t really exist. It was an illusion, and you were manipulated by this person. If you feel upset about them walking away, you shouldn’t be, you should be happy until they come back to hoover you, but DONT let that happen. They are only doing that for validation just to see if you will take them back. And once you do, they are just going to start treating you badly again. DONT ever think your narc is an exception. The best way to keep yourself away is to get angry and stay angry for awhile. YOU SHOULD be angry after what they put you through in that relationship. Anger sucks but it will protect you until you are weened off so you can think and see clearly. They aren’t capable of love in the real sense of love. Real love is selfless. The narc is incapable of being selfless. Therefore, they aren’t capable of loving you. They never were. It is all an act drawn from what they believe love should look like. The only love they can feel is how you make them feel while you’re worshipping and sacrificing for them. Get our, stay out, and love yourself more. If you have kids, stay out for them. They aren’t happy around all that fighting. They aren’t happy seeing you miserable, depressed, and crying. Narcs take your strength away and train not to matter because that frees up more focus for them.
@vgsinha 2 жыл бұрын
How do you suggest handling a situation where you have a parent or a sibling or both, who are narcissists (and they work together against you)? Because they work together, other parent is also affected and part of the stir up. I have been staying totally cut off for a few weeks now but I am afraid that they are degrading me and my family by spreading false information in the relatives. I guess my question is how to cut off when you have a tightly knit family of relatives and the person affecting you the most is a blood relation.
@russellj.s.257 2 жыл бұрын
I miss my daughter,her narcissist mother eh, whatever. She booted me out of our daughter's life and that's only where I'm hurting,I can handle a break-up I'm just having a hard time dealing with not being able to so much as talk to my daughter.
@Nobodyhome630 2 жыл бұрын
Does any of this apply to “secondary supply” ?
@LEM19284 2 жыл бұрын
Not sure this message is for me. I’ve been married forever 33 years to the discarder. I don’t know the date it happened. It could have been right off the bat. I was clueless
@harleyfsbo3027 2 жыл бұрын
@CallieMae .... I cannot wrap my brains around HOW these people can coldly throw away something so precious. For me the older / aged something gets, like a relationship (or my favorite blanket or shoes), the more precious it becomes. I would never think of throwing away something of such great value even if it gets a little worn out or raggedy ... unless of course the blanket and shoes get mold and the relationship becomes abusive (which is much worse than getting mold).
@petuniaandpoppy4615 2 жыл бұрын
@CallieMae Sounds like you are with a covert narcissist. They don’t attack you, you’d spot that, they UNDERMINE you, leaving you confused and blaming yourself. Your trauma is real. The abuse is real. Maybe the trauma bond vid will help: kzfaq.info/get/bejne/ec2emJyTu9-uXWw.html
@christophdollis1955 Жыл бұрын
While healing is a great option for those that want it, the other option is to completely give up.
@LeBronJames-yr8ku 2 жыл бұрын
Christina are narcissists more prone to like super heroes?
@djmadwax Жыл бұрын
I’ve been wondering where the pullback is. Is this the final one?
@Eneang888 2 ай бұрын
Is they have to discard?
@andrewsmith3257 7 ай бұрын
Narcs are broken robots
@mariestevenson1630 2 жыл бұрын
I try not to react but he gets me so mad I do react
@suzannemaroney4579 2 жыл бұрын
💔😔
@jonathandrake9433 9 ай бұрын
So doesn’t a narcissist do these patterns unintentionally and aren’t they deserving of compassion because they really compelled to create these painful scenarios.
@user-ei4fh1jq7x Ай бұрын
Σε απορρίπτω αν δεν είσαι ότι ανώτερο υπάρχει σε αυτόν τον πλανήτη, αν όταν περνάς δεν ανατριχιάζω, αν όταν δεν λες δε σε περιμένω άλλο.
@duromusabc 2 жыл бұрын
Will the narc Hoover later on ?
@Nobodyhome630 2 жыл бұрын
Not all narcs Hoover , but most likely they will….. but from what I’ve learned , if the person truly is a narc, the Hoover only sucks you back in for the same kind of nonsense , never because they have changed and are going to do better …..
@melscotto5330 2 жыл бұрын
What if he owes me money?
@devarodgers4676 2 жыл бұрын
my ex boyfriend narcissist called me horrible names she called me
@devarodgers4676 2 жыл бұрын
my ex is an idot
@jameschambers3171 2 жыл бұрын
Go Bucks
@leanneedmunds6494 2 жыл бұрын
They are con-artists.
@jameschambers3171 2 жыл бұрын
I ain't no pawn I don't claim to be a king either but I know how to play chess and I won't live with someone calling me stupid all the time lier, chester, who doesn't even know how to play chess let alone how the prices move I don't claim to be a genius either but I ain't no punk, I ain't puting up with these devil's
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