*Think you may have had a relationship with a narcissist?* Download the FREE checklist to see how your experience stacks up to the phases of narcissistic abuse: www.commonego.com/checklist

Oh hell no!!! It's permanent and I ain't ever turning back again. I don't need any more relationships that are going to "teach me a lesson". I'm quite a scholar!

In reality you CAN walk away from literally anyone that is toxic to you. This include toxic, controlling, and manipulative parents/family members, a toxic boss, or whatever the case maybe. You don't have to put up with anyone's foolishness. You don't have to put up with someone that is trying to steal your joy or peace whatsoever. Calling them out is not beneficial more often then not, because they will not own up to their mess more often then not anyway.

In my experience, calling them out just makes them come at you with defensive mechanisms. It is NEVER about them. It’s very frustrating because you get nowhere. In the past I used to have conversations and once I continued seeing the same behavior I slowly worked to get them out of my life entirely. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been essential.

I really wish I had known about these issues at the beginning of adulthood.

A narcissist will never apologize for their actions

I've known quite a few narcissists and calling out their behaviour to them was never beneficial 😶 they always responded with more theatrical manipulation attempts or straight up violence 😬 I learnt the easiest and safest way for me is to beat them at their own game, since they assume they are superior to everyone and everyone thinks they are fantastic,they don't notice that i manipulated them into leaving me/another person alone after they refused when asked nicely

If anybody is trying to take away from you your right to make your own adult decisions it is a huge sign of evil control tactic. Ignoring is the best way out. Thank you Christina❤

I met one 3 days ago with the exact same birthday as me . He is using it as leverage and to make it seem like “fate” but for me it feels like the universe is reminding me to keep going until you stop allowing these types to enter your life . He has already said so many things such as I love you and mentioning childhood abandonment smh.

Great job. Another manipulation technique is the guilt trip

Withholding information (omission ) is actually lying 🤥 too just like deception - gaslighting is the worse lying tactic Truth /transparency means letting the other person know (the keyword is know /knowledge) what’s truly going on

I learnt this the hard way why a man I've known did this to me gaslighting manipulation trying to make me believe him not trusting my own judgement, for some reason I had faith in myself going with my own decision because that's who I am believing in myself

You explained the different ways really well, thanks. My sister is a master manipulator and I have now had limited contact for two years and I see all of those tactics that she has used on me and others all my life. I am 47 and only just figured it all out, they make you feel naive and stupid when you finally work them out. I know I am not either of those things , it was the anxiety induced by her that made me not see clearly.

A friend (who prides herself in being manipulative lol) broke down how one of our other friends has been manipulating me for months which was shocking because I pride myself in seeing through people. She’s basically been “I’m mentally ill and you’re the only person I have” and she had me wrapped up babying her to the max. I only realized this when I watched her attempt to do it to someone else and realized and how she didn’t mean anything she was saying.

You must learn to value yourself and love yourself and do not put up with anyone's narcissist tactics, there's power in just walking away and do not waist your time trying to fix something that is just broken.

Yes. Advertising, government, and social media/media is a form of manipulation. And that is why I don't consume myself with any of it. People should really watch little to no news. They shouldn't be on all of these social media websites or whatever the case maybe.

They would say "I didnt lie to u,I just didnt tell u" and they say that's not the same thing as lying. Also they would say they wouldn't tell me cuz they use lying as a tool cuz they know I'd gt crazy and start screaming yelling and fighting with them, yet if I ask them calmly I'd get same response. Also they'd lie about the stupidest shit little things and I'd say wow u can lie about anything then.

Upon realization of being manipulated followed by anger, prayer and self growth, I realized that the only person that I should control is myself. Manipulating someone else takes away a fundamental God given right to free will, which is now a foundation that I will always try to stand upon. So as a result I seek never to interfere with another persons free will choices in any way. To ensure the same is not done to me, I ask lots of questions before giving an answer to any request of my time and energy, then I let my yes mean yes and my no mean no.

I dated as man who was caring for his elderly mother. He lied to her all of the time to manipulate her. She was often confused because he would change the story, change the plan for a doctor's appt, spa day, food coming. It eventually drove her into a confused depression. It made me lose interest in him and come to really think less of him.

Narc kept asking about if I was a jealous person. I just gave him a super vague answer every time. I should have known from then, but it didn't take much longer anyway for me to determine that he was mentally unstable. I told him this directly. Not that it mattered. Narcs don't respond to words. They respond to consequences for their actions and no contact. 🙃

Tactic 3 Isolation opened my eyes! I was told to not tell others about the narcissist's "apology" & abruptly coming over to cry then play the blame game for hurting my feelings. The narcissist's motivation being they didn't want me to get validation of their crappy behavior from others that have been wronged so they can manipulate me back into a relationship with them. I still have an incentive for them to not discard me like other family members, so that's why she's acting as if nothing happened. Wow!

Have 3 brothers and a half brother that are sociopaths. Sadly, I am also seeing it in their children. Pray it won't be in the their grandchildren . . .

I would’ve said,”ok, I’m out weirdo” that screams crazy

Perfect “simple” scenario which shows the difference between someone who cares about you and will respectfully allow you to make decisions for your own emotional and mental health! Love it!

I have experienced this ‘I knew this person was going to be here, but I didn’t tell you because I want you to realize that you are going to meet these types of people all the time until you fix what it is in you that causes you to attracted these types’. This only ever happened at their events because I was no longer in contact with any family or friends of my own.

So good to hear this in a healthy way. Some speakers on this topic advise “run away- get them out of your life” but that’s not saying “take care of yourself and your boundary in the moment which is the message here. Your message makes more sense to empower the “victim” in teaching self control. The real victim is the narcissist and no-one can change their behaviors or actions.

That fake feeling in your head and heart 🙄 love and support to all who truely need it 🙌😇

People in America are extremely manipulated and go along even to the harm of others

💕”calling it out...” I did that for the first time yesterday and it was nice to hear that is actually an effective tactic to maintain self control. And MINDFULNESS is also Very key.😅💕🙌🏻💕🥰🥰🥰🥰

Thank you for tips, always helpful :)

Another manipulation tactic, I think, is persistent pushiness. Chipping away at you until you finally give in.

Excellent, "withholding", "isolating" and "gaslighting". I feel guilt over burned bridges with family of origin but when you list these concepts, my mind automatically connects the dots over past experience and i find myself feeling outraged instead. Thankyou.

I had to deal with this at work and the person tried several manipulation tactics on me but I didn't fall for them. I told my therapist about this and she actually fell for the person's tactics. I was astounded. I told my therapist that I disagreed with her viewpoint and she seemed to eventually see that what this person was doing wasn't right. I'm glad this person showed me their true colors, the sooner you know the better. It's pretty creepy because they present so differently to others.

Great video and loved the real life example as it helped to understand the various techniques so clearly. It also helped me realize that I was a victim of all of these from my narcissistic ex partner. Thank you!

Yes and narcissist gaslight/manipulate on a regular basis.

Superb advices, highly accurate and useful xxxxxx

I went to 5 minutes in to see if I needed to go earlier for the start of the tactics, but it was at about 5:30 minutes into the video that the info on tactics started. 1)Withholding, 2)Lying, 3)Gaslighting, 4)Emotional Blackmailing, 5)Passive Agressive Behavior

Wow. This describes someone in close to. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on manipulation from Narcissism.

Excellent video & very accurate. Seen highly manipulative people use all of these, sometimes the same person. It also makes the manipulated person look like a fool and people who know what is happening lose respect for the person being manipulated especially when that person condones it...

How do I understand this? My husband takes me out fine dining and practically attacks me about something he sturnly wants me to do or something he is going to do (a decision that would normally otherwise be discussed and negotiated in a healthy relationship). The discussions start early on in the dinner and he has moments of getting louder, as he knows that it embarrasses me. He did this twice lately, then on the third date, I felt so disappointed after putting the pieces together, so much that I cried. The nicest looking person in the whole place, crying. Then he had the nerve to offer boxing up our food and tried to wipe my face, acting so empathetic. Within this whole time period, he does not invite me out with him for anything else as he goes out whenever he wants.

oh my gosh ... 34 years! EXACTLY.

Great content! I been learning more when it comes to manipulation and other type of behaviors. It has been very helpful to know this not only to recognize certain behaviors in myself and change them but also to be aware of the people that are around me. Not sure if you can probably touch this in a future video but I would like to know when it come to using children to emotionally manipulate others? How to know if they are just doing it for the benefit of the kids or just their own. Also about manipulating children like maybe love bombing if Im saying the term correctly. At the beginning they wouldn’t show much affection or say I love you but out of nowhere they have this overly affectionate behavior. This would be coming from a relative having this behavior. And if their is manipulation how to protect kids. Would love to get your opinion on this and thank you for sharing your knowledge on this 😊 have a great day!

Go, Girl! Seems SO obvs now, damn it! Just gotta keep on ;truckin'! Keep up the great work! :)

I like to see Men coming forward. Thank you for being BRAVE.

Thank you so, so much for this video. My ex (who I'm still living with... I moved across the country with him when we were still together) withheld information that he knew was a deal breaker for me... Essentially tricking me into moving across the country with him... When confronted it was just lies stacked upon lies... I've been having a hard time acting accordingly and completely cutting off because he is so sweet and supportive in every other way... It's so crazy making 😭 my last ex was clearly abusive and it still took forever to leave but this seems so much harder and less clear cut. Thank you for making this piece clear 💜

Sounds like my life!

Absolutely we can walk away ,good advice and observation.👍

Hey Christina! Nice to see you! I know some sneaky ones lol I hope all is well beautiful! Don’t be a stranger! 🙏😘❤️

They are all about manipulation and themselves. It is refreshing to put myself first.

When dating just ask them what their faults are. They have none. If you press it they will list other peoples faults like theres nothing wrong with them but others. It is impossible for them not to shift. They just can't do it. Try it. You will see the Narcissist right away

It’s interesting when you meet people who look at manipulation tactics as just some sort of a game of life. When you realize what you’re looking at, part of that game is to dump them also.

Love this video, it is a good quality information here. Thanks!

Brilliant thank you

It helps to talk about your own feelings, say "a list" of current feelings , it doesn't matter if they will agree to listen (by doing that you let them out, no longer holding onto them), then ask yourself "Why do I need this situation?' "What lesson do I have to learn from it?" (let another person ask themselves the same question). All this process is called 'legalization of feelings". Every time there is a painful situation it means it is a "learning situation" and a person needs to find out why it came

Purple purse. Founded by Allstate between 2004-2005. But they really don’t help with people that are being controlled financially

Financial..they put al the money on savings..and you go to the shop and there is no money on you're bank .you can't do groseries.

Gift giving or negotiating something to give to help their situation for example if I said I didn't have the right shoes to go to the event or if I didn't have a car / transport, this would always happen if I was saying no

There's so many forms of bullying its crazy. There's subtle things that people say to to manipulate you. Even close family members and they don't realize they do it. 1: people that ask you what are you talking about. Ever said something about a group topic that you know made sense. People who see you under them will ask you this question like you're stupid or as you didn't make sense when you obviously did. 2. People who just laugh at you for saying something little or simply when they notice you're feeling different. I had times where I have made a little face because I was bored or something and someone would exaggerate how I was feeling and laugh and asked me am I OK. Like I literally just made a bored face what's so funny 3. When you express an opinion and someone disagrees but they also throw someone else in the conversation just to sh* on your opinion and laugh at you. Like their opinion was 100% right. Long story short: there's little things people do to get a reaction out of you when they feel your not as smart as you.

I define manipulation as a self serving way of interacting with others.

Had an ex that wud push my trauma buttons to get me upset, and wouldnt drop it when I askd.. Wed end up in an argument. Then theyd take off/disappear literally and not answer phone or door. Then when finalky show up, its all.. Ill only come back if u stop putting me down.... Then the button pushing starts over. We broke up, 16yrs later we reconnected.. And they started bringing up my past traumas all over again!! I cudnt believe it.

I absolutely hate truth by omission my whole family is like that. But I absolutely loved your first analogy the honest one😁

dear christina, thank you very much for your hard work. i wish you nothing but the best. btw you look great 😍 and i adore your personality and your frame of mind. greetings from austria 🥰.

I’m not sure if this preoccupation with narcissism is healthy

Confusing put-downs. My mom calls me to thank me for the Mothers Day Delivery of Shari’s Berries and hangs up after I answer the phone, then I call back and she answers the phone and I say Hi mom, you called and she responds I'm not your mom. Then proceeds to ask me about my DIL (an unkind and nosy question), Then she starts talking about her new “Lift Chair”. Geez I hang up confused and feeling like there she goes “AGAIN” so awkward.

Thank you for a great video with remarkably helpful information.

The one you missed is TRIANGULATION

You may also berate your friend of lacking finesse in dealing with that person after you’ve been there.that’s also insidious manipulation

My ex openly would say the thing she is most proud of about herself is she can manipulate anyone to get anything she wants. Truly truly sick. She would use all those techniques and loved using the we had this conversation and you agreed.

I've came to realize that my current husband is a covert narcissist & a manipulative person .. it's really hard to walk away because we have our 1st baby on the way and yesterday was our 1st anniversary which he spent fighting with me .. yelling at me and calling me names, I'm thinking about divorce but I feel like I'm too emotional (pregnant) to be taking this kind of life changing step right now.

Thanks for this video True Christianity and the Bible can help us spot these kind of behaviors and avoid them. It's pure selfishness. The problem is some people don't read their Bibles and don't have a real relationship with God, can be manipulated by so-called Christian leaders in this very same way. Selfishness is wrong!

I get it!

Thank you. This info was helpful.

Great video. Thank you xx

Great input! Thank you. I want to inform you that a "DeEsser" might help you to make your videos more pleasant to listen. If I remember correctly there are harsch "s" sounds in other videos of yours. Its easy to apply. You can finde instructions in the www. Also there are probably free versions. Maybe you already hava such plug in in your Video Software. Good luck. Thank you greatfuly :)

Hi... 😊Brilliant,Thank-you Hun x

I don't know if anyone will see this but, I walked away from someone trying to gaslight me and told them "i'm not going to let you talk to me like that" They gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the night all the way into the next day when they acted like nothing happened. Is this just the way it has to be?

Here's one for you... Someone who disregards the important things that you want and or need but then goes all out to apologize for tiny or even imaginary transgressions.

This first situation you mentioned sounds just like what happened in April and October. Not quite sure about October but she was texting someone instead of talking to me. Probable same guy as in April. Thanks for reminding me why she needs to be outta my life.

this exmaple literally happened to me in real life omg, he just pretended he didnt know theyd be there

WOW. 🏃‍♀️ run!

Law 3 Conceal your intentions... he failed when he asked about manipulation

I will say the silent treatment doesn't work on me anymore. Giving me the silent treatment actually makes me happy because I know I won't have to deal with you anymore. Lol.

He blackmails me by threatening to try to get me fired if I try to make him leave. He threatens revenge to hurt me any way he can.

5:13 IDK if “letting the person know” short-circuits the manipulative nature of the request. I’m dealing with someone right now who just said to me, “ … we’ll I _had_ to ask.” What does _that_ mean? WHO’s making you ask? The person in control of _YOU?”_ When someone says “I HAD to ask,” that’s very suspicious because if you _refuse,_ there will be some _unpleasant consequences_ as in my case there were which I didn’t see coming. The revenge was almost immediate, and it’s taken me about two months to figure it out.

was it just me or did the audio on this have really heavy bass? anyway, I've been/am being manipulated/gaslit/lied to/about/slandered in every possible way WHILE being completely isolated for 4 years straight, and either everyone I know has also been manipulated, or they are all manipulating me for some reason that I can not even guess WHY. All I can think is that there is a very malignant narcissist somewhere out there, using every toxic person I know or have ever known, and every kind of manipulation and lie imaginable to destroy me and my life. all I ever wanted was to be loved and instead got used, abused, harassed, stalked and slandered. I don't think there's much I can do after 6-7 years of living in the twilight zone other than do my best to convey what's been done to me to the police as succinctly as possible and hope they take me seriously. I've been robbed of my ideas, character/reputation, 7 years of my life, my zest for life, my health, friends, social support and intelligence (I honestly feel brain damaged, I can FEEL it, like my brain is just not working the way it should). I want someone held accountable and charged for what has been done to and taken from me.

There is a difference between narcissists and someone with narcissistic tendencies; Unless someone is a conscious narcissist, most gaslighting is the result of a person's self delusion - not intentional manipulation. That is why a person can be so good at it - It is an instinctive pattern to protect their own sense of self. You can't point out what people instinctively do and can not easily see. Even if such a person is your partner you will have to be satisfied with being just friends and not true partners - even if you remain with them. Sometimes it will feel like a partnership, but mostly it will just be like two friends who pretend to act like partners.

All interaction is manipulation- but there is good manipulation and bad manipulation- it depends on the motive of the person whether it’s going to be damaging or not to someone

Question for everyone - If someone told you that your partner was manipulative, would you have believed them? Would you want someone to say that or would you have doubled down on your loyalty to them? Considering messaging the partner of my ex.

This is exactly describing my wife /ex wife as of Monday. I saw through her bullshit manipulative self. No contact from now.

But there's a catch. I already forgot what the example was about after the loud commercial interrupted. Oh well, onto other things.

Thankyou 🙏

I was just manipulating you!😆

I feel like my current GF thinks I’m gaslighting when I’m telling her actual ridiculous stuff, that actually ridiculously happened

She wery good!

10:58 the Narcissist can also start begging (please, please come to the party), trying to bribe (if you come with me to the party i will go with you to the baseball match) or threaten (if you dont come with me then i will never go with you to your baseball machtes). Important is that you do not take your NO back. If you take it back then your No's will not be heared anymore in the future, the Narcissist will be convinced he can talk it away, turn it into a YES by just trying different triggers on you

Is this ghosting, manipulation, narcissism or she likes me? She started a conversation with me. Throw the bait to see my reaction. Then she starts chatting casually about everything with me. She Just asks questions and makes you talk about myself. Gathers information about me. Then she stops communicating for no reason. She gives the impression that she is angry, arrogant and rude. After a while it was as if nothing had happened. No more talking, but just say hello when we meet. I found out she has a boyfriend all the time.

They do these horrible things everyday then after half your life the relationship ends and still they taunt you because “you were so stupid” They follow up in the coming years letting you know how many times they cheated. How she and her friends all laughed at you for years. These monsters are completely happy to admit to their evil deeds and their new partner laughs it up with them but you’re laughing on the inside because you’re finally free and you just met his newest victim and she’s welcome to it.

To manipulate is to move around and or bend for to your will is that sort of right?

I have people in my life doing that to me called m.c.f.d and others from b.c

Met a lovely looking lady on FB, she became a friend at first, sent me pictures of herself looking very attractive. I told her I would love to meet up with her, she said of course, as soon as the weather got better.She was lovely and sweet for the first 5 months but then I noticed a slight change in her attitude, becoming disrespectful and playing the victim, complaining allot about work and people. She sent me some picture of herself and I asked her if I could see the one she had shown me before but then deleted before I could download it. She immediately became angry and swore at me and discarded me, saying she did not have to do any such thing. 2 weeks later she came back and was again very nice, this time asking me if I would like to meet her for real.Being a bit of an empath I said ok and a time and date was arranged. On the day I traveled 2 hours drive up to her place, knocked her door and she put her face out of her bedroom window and said she would be down in 10 minutes as she expected me a bit late and was not ready.I could see her face and she looked identical to all the fb photos she had sent previously, I was exited to meet her. 10 minutes later she turned up at the front door and said hello, I could not believe what was standing in the doorway, she looked like a tramp, she deliberately painted eye shadow on her eyes and thickened her eye brows, she looked completely unrecognisable? I was shocked but decided not to say anything. We did have a pleasant day but I think she knew I felt strange with her. Anyways fast forward a week later and she sent me a video of a music track on her phone but a one point the screen went dark and I could see her true face reflected in the phone briefly, it was like she was taunting me. I called her out about it and she immediately became defensive telling me she could look however she felt at the time. I could not let it rest and kept chalenging her about it until she discarded me again. A few days later I found a video on Narcissim and could not believe what had happened over those 7 months, I never contacted her again and consider I have had a lucky escape. The thing that hurt me so much was the fact she hid how she normally presented herself to me, I guess I actually saw the real person, the mask had been removed as a deliberate ploy to mess my head up. Thank God we have videos on this subject to warn us of these dangerous, manipulative people.