It’ll get better! Learn to never depend on him and cut the relationship. Good luck!

I absolutely agree with Sandro Nelis advice. And also find good non-manipulative people to be around. My father is a crazy malignant narcissist. My self-confidence were also destroyed and I also never trusted people around me and expected them to treat me badly as my father. I started a huge change in me when I went to university and met my co-students. I mean when you're surrounded with good people who don't try to put you down, you really start believing in good, start differentiating between bad people like your father and good compassionate people. You start seeing the world as not so black and white.

25!!!! You got so much time! I'm 32, you see users commenting who are even older, keep it up your on the right track baby

I'm 34 and my father destroyed mine as well. And I've tried to get help for years. Now that I'm married i make more efforts to see a therapist but the battle is still going for me. You aren't alone. Recently I've made the decision to never talk to him again. Because he is so toxic and so argumentative. He has never made any efforts to make peace. He ignores me, he never visits me, never takes responsibility for anything he does wrong. He doesn't even acknowledge me in any positive way. I had to step away. And i don't feel I'll ever want to speak to him again. He made a choice recently to retire and live in France with his Wife who is from there. I have no way of communicating to him anymore. He has chosen to ostracize me out of his life. I've tried to talk but his last reply to me in a text was "no comment"... what father says shit like that to their own son?

I'm 50 and it took this long . Guys ... your ahead of me , keep searching out the answers . There's nothing you can't do or be .

If you wish to further your education,they will sabotage it.Refuse to give information for student aid,Pell Grants,etc..

Yep my dad did this to me every single time the piece of shit threw me out the house everytime things started getting a little better for me they truly try to break you even my mom said he set you up for failure I still talk about it at 30 yes because the last abuse I took was three years ago at 27 whe I should have let go of everyone!!

Yes they sure do

Which is why my father knows exactly zero about my personal life anymore, I don't discuss religion, school, work or friendships with him.

And when you fail they mock you

And I think more of them. Patriarchy helps create them. They're so entitled.

@@cynthiaallen9225 patriarchy doesn't exist....get over your victimhood

@@etphonehome4511 Shut the fuck up and research it, fool.

@@cynthiaallen9225 - Systemic patriarchy as a conscious organized power structure truly does not exist. In first world countries, the fact that the top 1% of powerful people are men is down to life choices which should make everyone feel empowered.

@@sirkayda7205 That's not true at all. It's hardly a choice. Where do you live?

Sabotage is definitely in their "playbook".

Joshua Humes I’m sorry to read that. There is always hope, though. You can help others and make a great name for yourself. Wishing all the best for you!

Same

Its so crazy that I could relate to so many people.

Watch the videos from "Narcissistic Resistance" Ollie is incredibly educated on narcissistic parents and what they do to offspring: kzfaq.info

Beloved Child wow. Thank you for sharing your story.

wow. I felt this! I sometimes wonder if I will heal after he dies. He's ruined my entire life and the rest of the family. I almost feel it won't make a difference if he died, because it's almost too deep and too late to take back the joy I lost. My energy is depleted.

EntyseOnline my narcissist dad died April the 2nd 2019 and Im beginning to heal from the insanity he has put my family through! It’s not easy, but there is a sense of freedom in the air. It’s sad that the only way that he was stopped from his rein of terror was death!

Beloved Child my narcissist dad died in April of this year and I feel the same way!

@@roseofsharon7775 I hope you find peace with it. And best wishes on your healing journey.

Very brave of her...I wish I had that kind of courage...

I’m in the same position as you and your sister

Sounds like our family, we're both adopted.sister never got married and so am I still single. Mother is doormat, very high and intelligent woman made servant for him. I'm 44 years old now with little to non enjoyment in life, genuine. I have always thought there was something off with our family and now I'm trying to make sense of it. Take care and hopefully smile friends.

I'm the same. I've always had horrible relationships and always went for women that treated me very poorly. I've always fought so hard for them and confused this with love. Over time I've began to appreciate more and more my own empathetic attributes and learned to be attracted to similar qualities. I'm seeing a lovely woman right now, feels good.

I have had bad relationships with men. I remain single and I did not have children. I did not want to continue the sickening cycle.

😛

Same!

She is pretty fn hot lol...

@@joedirt5720 Can you just please focus on what she is saying vs how she looks? Are you learning anything from the truth she is speaking? My goodness.

@@jac1161 actually Jennifer I have learned a LOT from her..... And every episode I watch hits me to my core.... Where MANY feelings of past traumas are brought back to the surface.... So if I need to tell her how hot she is....In order to take my mind off of the chaos.... I'm gonna do just that🤷‍♂️....Can you please focus on what the Dr has to say...While reading my comment and deciding to ignore the lecture, so you could try and call me out on something that wasn't hurting ANYBODY...

pink custard I’m so sorry you had to go through this. The Heavenly Father is the only father you need.

My mom would watch my dad scream in my face and threaten to beat me :( I really feel you on this.

I'm 14 guy. He destroy my material possesion to prove hierarchy and take me to psychologist to just because I'm against his satanic authority. He doesn't have mercy for living things. Not venue if I am ill. I will GIVE HIM REVENGE IN THE NAME JUSTICE!!!!

@@bobfodabola5635 don't do anything against the law, please, you don't want to end up in jail, right? Take this time to prepare your rescue plan, and act it when you are 18 years old: you may move to another city and make your life again. Good luck !!!

@@maryfiero8122 bro my dad is the same, complains bout every single thing, says how "y'all are using me so much" "y'all can fuck off I can't stand you all anymore" "I will quit my job and then watch y'all live" and so on, it's so frustrating, can't wait till im 18 and actually start getting some money so I can move out of this shithole alongside with my mom and little brother if possible cause I dont wanna watch them suffocate in his presence

What a sad story Andrea. Awful for you all. As I've heard about NPDs before- don't let their damage become your damage. Thank goodness you are strong and aware. Sending love and hope to you.

@@odette8905 thank you. I think our experiences, whether positive or negative, help shape us into who we are. Everyone that plays some type a part in our lives can either be a blessing or a lesson. Love and light to you--

@@andreariegler I agree. Life's experiences are a blessing or a lesson. How wise you are. Wishing you strength and love.

They fear losing control. That's why getting old for them is so hard

Wow. That's amazing. I seriously can't believe they all just let you live there alone with him. I have a brother still at home (14) and if my mom died, I would sure as hell let him live with me. I go see him as much as possible because it was always my goal to show him a small portion of love and support since I know he was daily being put down emotionally by my dad. Glad your story has a good ending! When I read your comment, and then saw your user name, I teared up.

You should write a personal biography about your life.

That's very encouraging

They just didn’t see him for who he really was, you lived with him, they all got away, distanced themselves from him and only remember n see what they ‘choice’ to remember n see. Good on from breaking the chains.

Stop giving him gifts. He doesn't deserve it. Give yourself something for having to deal with him & leave as soon as your able to for your sanity. It isn't healthy.

Nursing home for Dad an option?

Go no contact. Try it, and be free, from any future emotional abuse 💟. End all abusive relationships. Give your heart to Jesus. Follow Him, and let Him heal you, and give you JOY😁. I remember the day, that Father (God) told me, that I'm responsible for my own emotional health. I'm praying for you . Blessings !

Susan I am so happy you've got such a courage and strength to get your thoughts and dreams come true!

Oh my god... what a piece of sh... In a way your success is like a big F.U. in his face and a big "you were wrong", and narcs can't stand being wrong. I'm still often amazed at how much BS they can say just because of their fragile ego... Good on you that you did what resonates with you 👍🏼😄

Kingdom Things Stop using the situations where people are airing their vulnerabilities to shill for a patriarchal religion that has an extremely sadistic male narcissistic “father” at the centre of it. Just stop, it’s exploitative and nasty and no, you aren’t “spreading love”, love would be giving support to people, not promoting worship of a narcissistic male.

I don't know if I'm too late to comment on this but I really admire your courage. I on the other hand am stuck studying something I don't like just because I thought it would please my father. I've only realised that he is actually a narcissist and he will never be pleased. But I'm almost done with this course anyway so once I'm done. I'm going to follow my heart and actually study what I am passionate about.

I fear the day I'd be expected to deliver a eulogy for my father.

I'm so sorry that you were robbed of a loving father- daughter bond. I had one, but my daughter was robbed too, as I married a man who turned out to be a narc. She suffers from OCD, anxiety, depression, and sleep issues.

Nancy L, you know I guess I had all those problems too. It’s such a shame that they don’t have the capacity to care about anyone but themselves.

@@cherylrock3612 Yes, it truly is a waste, and worse, they cause so much trauma for innocent family members.

@@dylannicks1146 What an ignorant/shaming thing to say.

mondblume63 Not all narcissists are like that. My father had a lot of good traits to emulate. But loving compassion was not his strong point. In other words, if you did well he wouldn’t tell you so. If you hurt, he wasn’t empathetic. I discovered years later that he was treated cruelly by my grandfather. It had probably gone on for generations. Each generation tried to be more humane. Everyone is narcissistic to a degree. It takes self awareness and good role modeling from other sources to overcome it.

That’s how he felt about himself.

@@michell6754 Likely. Some of the things he went through I learned about because my aunt communicated them to my sister. There were things I never knew. I just thought my father was mean. My father was born in 1929, the year the Great Depression started. My parents kept telling me how they never had anything. I’ve learned that people who have early hardships often try to compensate for the rest of their lives.

😱

Kept Grits You sound exactly like me.........EXACTLY....... My dad is so Emotionally unavailable it’s unbelievable. I’ve given up on him. He just can’t seem to love me for who I am. Always wanting me to be something better or different than I am. I suffer from depression and anxiety

Mildred Peroni I understand that. With my husbands work we moved around a lot, so we had that distance. And hubby saw him for who he was, which caused backstabbing. Finally when we moved back to the same state, I thought things would be better. And they were for a short while. Then we started seeing him do the same things to our children. That was not ok, so we distanced ourselves to protect them. The result was more backstabbing of us to my siblings causing us to be snubbed or siblings trying to take advantage of us. At a family reunion, we walked in and started to greet everyone only to have no one willing to speak to us. When something was said by a couple of my siblings to our teenaged children, it was insults that they did nothing to deserve. That was the end. I have 3 siblings that I still have contact with infrequently, but things never got better. One of them called me when Dad was soon going to pass away, told me when I could call him and stepmom not be there. I did so, only to find his attitude the same. Everything I said was not the right thing, it was a competition nd I wasn’t going to do that. I told him I loved him, he told me he was tired and was hanging up. That was the last time we spoke. And no I did not attend his funeral, I knew what I would be subjected to. So I sent flowers and that was it. Normally I would not have put all of this out here online, but if it helps you or someone else, then it’s a good thing.

x.

Good for you. It only took me 55 years to finally figure out mine was a textbook, check all the blocks narcissism. Going on four years and it get's better and better. Best to you.

Good job! 2yrs NC with mine too. I'm still dealing with smears and 3rd party attacks.

Don't want to come off wrong but if you haven't been in contact with him for 2 years then what's your purpose being here, typing that?

@@hmb2682 Every year like clock work, mine tries to "hoover" me in. Usually by mean, nasty letters, emails, etc but sometimes mixes it up with something "nice." Keep it up. It gets better!

@@r011ing_thunder6 because it takes time for many to overcome a lifetime of abusive programming. Whatever helps. It's an individual battle.

Cindy B. Agree. Would love to learn more about this topic

Catherine Gold I feel this. Both my parents are. My mum and dad. Stopped contact with my dad, but my mum is a different type of narc too, kept boundaries to her and our relationship works from a distance. I accept how she is. I definitely am glad she didn’t end up being the same type of narc as him. He was another type of horrible father.

Me too

@@kieransimpson4965 me too

Same

Cindy Long I’m nearly a year no contact, it hurts because I realised after being with my ex narc what he was like, but I had enough of his bullshit too, the awful things he used to say, the manipulative ways, he told me (oldest child) that he wished he didn’t have us

@@ChelsDavies it all about themselves, when you refuse to go along with their abuse, then they say they wished they never had you,etc...they are mentally ill in my opinion ...

Chelsea Davies reminds me of all the things my dad said

Harry Munker wow...read a little deeper instead of logic chopping.

Hey, my mom is 48 and is in a marriage with narcissistic motherfucker and she is afraid to let go and divorce, what advice would you give to her?

@@sparkyreadss Hi, I would suggest that your mom get therapy only for herself from a therapist that really has experience with narcissism and understand how it works. She can not include or let her husband know because he will use it to manipulate her further. Please try to be loving and patient with your mom because it is very hard to see the abuse when your that close to it. Prayers for peace, recovery and your moms freedom.

I hope u r doing well .... Its very difficult to make others understand that how we survived their abuse and how went through that hell.. God give us strength..🙏

@@poonamchaudhary6140 Amen

I can feel you. I had the same. He could come home and just starting screaming and beating me up for nothing. Often he then closed me into the cellar without windows and took the lightbulb out. He let me there in the dark for ours. I was a little girl and so scared in the dark.

@@dorismuggler That's Horrible ..I'm sorry you went through that but you made it through and your ok now.....Share your story more often so more people out there know that Narc abuse is real...

This is sadly too relatable... I've never been congratulated for my achievements and I remain feeling invalidated for anything I do. I'm made to feel bad to just take some time to relax. My father thinks he is entitled to being disrespectful to others in the household just because he pays the bills. I often look at my friends' fathers in envy. It's suffocating to be at home...

Ang83 PF This is just my opinion based on what you said, but your son may be mimicking his father’s behavior. My narcissistic father insisted his way was the best way, the only way, and micromanaged me to do everything the same way he did. So when I was a little kid, I would would repeat his behavior, which didn’t go over well when I interacted with others. Only when I recognized when I was older that my father’s behavior was toxic did I stop doing things the way my father did and tried to be empathetic towards others.

Lisa, don't feel guilty. Nothing sounds horrible to anyone who takes time to watch this video or others with the same topic. You understand what I mean. It's been two years, i hope you're still OK.

Marie-Paule Graham Yeah I have one of those too.........She’s a witch

Yep, motherhood can be used so perfectly by them

@MEanME Amen to that!! 😄 if i hear "honor thy father & mother"again…I eventually told him that they're is a difference between honor & abuse. I choose Not to be a punching bag!!

Just watch all of the Cersei Lannister scenes from the Game of Thrones. She portrayed the victim, the villain, and the twisted victor, all while knowing the prophesied fate of her children, lovers, and herself.

@Deplorable Cat : My mother & mother in-law are covert narcissists. They achive the same goals, but with different tactics. Both are masters @ manipulating & guilt. One fanes innocents, the other kicks butt & takes names! Both can be loving & pleasant for short visits. However, after a while, old wounds, grievances & resentments return... 😑 i find it best to keep contact brief, pleasant & try not to expect anything. They are wounded children…Remember to take care of you!! All my best 😊❤

Jesus loves you.

Lisa Schofield wow yes; thank you for validating what I’m going through right now

Do a search on KZfaq narcissists are transactional xxx

Absolutely!!! I was told I was out of the will, then told I was in the will because he "wanted my daughter to have the best education." This from a narcissist who claims he put me through college and hardly contributed a dime. No amount of money is worth it.

Mark Skeeter he will expect something from you now in return for his “generosity”.

Yes, they/he tried to keep me indentured with monitary gifts decades after I broke free, a polite no thanks is all that is needed.

Thomas Chacon I too have a younger brother like that. He’s so selfish and he cares only for himself.

To be honest this prioritization is healthy. In order to provide for others we must first provide for ourselves. Taking this out of proportion is where it's abusive, eg depriving other people from their needs in order to feel good, that's problematic. In my opinion of course.

Maria2803 We have to take care of ourselves so we can be strong enough before we can take care of others, that’s true. However, that’s not what narcissists do. I also have a younger narcissistic brother and he only looks out for himself. He would only help his family if he felt like it, and if when we needed his help, it happened to fall within a time that was convenient for him, which is usually never. My brother would constantly demand I run errands for him but he would refuse to ever help me. This included passing something over to me that was right next to him. He would tell me to get it myself. The idea of helping me with anything was beneath him, even for easy tasks that would have taken him literally ten seconds. He would rather spend his time and energy throwing a fit, yelling at me and reading me the riot act how I was being so burdensome to him and how I was ruining his life. He would only back down from his narcissistic behavior if he saw I was having a mental breakdown from his abuse. Out of temporary guilt, he would make promises he would help me later, which he never did. It was only lip service which is a trademark of narcissists. I went through so much abuse with my brother that I had to completely cut ties with him. Only then did I have any measure of peace. Narcissists are selfish, self absorbed brats who don’t look out for others. They only look out for themselves. If you’re in a loving relationship with another person, whether that’s with a family member, friend or romantic partner, you have to be willing to put their needs over yours from time to time. Every relationship is give and take. Narcissists are unwilling or incapable of doing that. They only take from others. The only thing they give others is abuse.

@@Marion89gr Pointless comment

Abena, I think you did the right thing.

Thanks..I know in my heart it’s for the best

OMG... this is soooooo needed..

I haven't watched but saw co-parenting w/narcissist on her page.

Leave and hope you get full custody! My dad is a Narcissist and my mom is an angel but there isn't really any way to help kids in this situation apart from Christ.

There is no co-parenting with a narc. You can only parallel parent.

​@@rosaliemcg2979 I'm curious how you are doing now? My son, 14, is seriously considering cutting contact with his dad. It is so hard to see him suffer.

I did too, lol.

Me three....I noticed it first then listened to the good doctor...

LOL-yes! I am amazed how it is so shiny and perfect. It is not easy having a high gloss wood floor in a high traffic area.

Kingdom Things love the sunken living room

Was starting at it the whole video

Thank you for sharing, Francine. You have my total respect.

It's a world wide issue across all races and ethnic lines. The Black community has a huge narcissistic disorder problem. Mostly men, but plenty of females too! It is shocking how out of control our society has become when it comes to entitlement and people wanting to control others for their own gain. I am sorry you had to experience narcissistic parents in any degree. They are terrible and should not have children because they are too self-absorbed.

I think it's because child abuse is so normalized and enabled in our culture (just look at all of the memes we make about strict parents who will giving you a beating if you don't make straight As), and child abuse is the biggest cause of narcissism in children. My theory is if we cut the chain of physical and verbal abuse being passed generation after generation, we can fix this issue.

Maybe this is also why crime rates, suicide rates, and poverty are so high in South Asia

Jameela Fayez I’m from former Yugoslavia and it’s the same over there too, unfortunately. Physical and emotional abuse as a parenting style has a lot to do with it I think.

Same here Now I’m emotionally fucked up Don’t know who I’m Self-steem so LOW

You were married to your dad?

It's difficult I have been in a similar situation re the money from a narcissistic father.

I can so relate!

You need to get into Dave Ramsey's money management systems and finally cut ties with your Dads.

Dr Jonice Webb identified Childhood Emotional Neglect she has a website -you may want to look into

BY THE ORDER OF

.... bcos narcs always feel they are best and nobody can beat them ...hence the nitpicking...

I respect your opinion but I think they don't want their son to be successful more than they are in any aspect of life

Yeah....ur saying the same things ... in different words....in their opinion/view they will always be the best ...

That describes my father everything is & always bout him and how I'm such an awful son for wanting him to stay out of my relationships . He doesn't want me in his but he thinks it's ok too get in all of mine and sabotage it . Don't dare question his motives he will go psycho . Clear signs he's jealous of my well being he doesn't like seeing me living well .