I TOLD HIM I WAS BORED WITH HIM. HAVEN'T SEEN HIM SINCE!😊

Impulsive, the grass is always greener w another person. They think there is a person they will find today that will remove their boredom, and anxieties.

Because fidelity is a high vibe & narcissism is a low vibe.

You give them everything….you give them more until there is nothing left of you to give. Yet they move the goal posts every time. Never enough, not meeting their needs etc etc. I’m 64, married to him for 30 plus years. Definitely broken.

So true. Can't be honest and a pathological liar.

Wow! "Its not like they look at your innate goodness...you are just an appliance" And they dont get the same bliss from being in love...no joy from knowing or being cared for by a good woman. REVELATION....thank you!

I used to think that people cheated when they didn't get enough sex. I never said no to my ex-narc because it was extremely incredible. So clearly giving them plenty of sex isn't enough to make them not cheat. They just get bored entirely too fast while we're falling more and more in love with them.

Faithfulness is emotional commitment and narcs not bonded but make us trauma bonded

They need continuous supply forever. It’s that messed up. Stop asking yourself why. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.🤡👈🏻

The day we got married, my husband raved on me all the way home. One of the scariest rages ever. He spoiled me before, celebrating occasions and way different. Bam! Just like that, it all stopped.

Soooooooo another words, "We were just a means to an end". All makes sense now. Thank you for explaining that so eloquently. Many of us, need to understand, "It was never us, it was them". "There was nothing we could do to make it work". I just feel sorry for their next victim. She'll be left wondering, "What she did wrong". Until, he has a string of us, on the line. Then he figures, he can just call and toy with us. Hang up the phone ladies. And stomp out Narcissism.

It's funny to me how a narcissist can turn on and off like a computer 🖥️ it's like their not a real human being.

THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER. THEY GET THERE AND THEN THEY GET BORED AND KEEP GOING TO THE NEXT SOURCE LOOKING FOR THAT NEXT FIX THAT IS ONLY TEMPORARY!

I like to say "transactional"... everyone is like a trasaction to them and thats all it is😢

I want to stress to people how important it is to stay safe as you move forward in these relationships. We can not just leave. Life does not work that way. Prepare, stay safe.

I was so lonely in a relationship with the Narc ....at one stage it was like sleeping with a person who never saw me or even cared. no love no hugging, he would give me a peck on the cheek when he went to bed, totally empty, He showed his caring in other ways buying me things ...but all I wanted was a hug so sad. I then found out he had been seeing someone from his past who kept popping into his life we would then break up but he always came back to me and I always took him back (Silly me) I know. It was a never ending circle until I put a stop to it. It took strength and determination to keepaway and sometimes it broke me mentally but I did it and can look back and think what a crazy 3 years I could write a book and things that happened how I felt and what it did to me I now suffer with high blood pressure because of this. Do you see what they do to us and we allow it . its sickening Ive had to evaluate who I am and why I allowed this. I have learnt alot about myself my lack of boundaries /childhood dramas etc I would never put up with anything like this again so maybe he was sent for a reason.

Ben!!! Do you know how much you’ve helped me heal from the nightmare I was in!! Thank you soo much sir for doing this. God bless you. Wishing you the very best in your life .

Toxic women need to be addressed …. They are out there !

I think they cheat for the thrill, to feel alive. It doesn’t have to do with their partner, they don’t have impulse control.

When they try to blame you for everything, pretend to take their credit card to swipe for a purchase. Say, “I’m sorry sir but your card is declined.” They try to blame again - ‘sir, I’ll try it again. It still says declined.’

Gosh this is absolutely what I'm going through. EXACTLY!!!!!!

Thank you for that. Its makes alot of sense. Its horrible, and sad, to see myself through this.

Exactly how it happened to me: every time I needed to bring up an issue I was worried about, (cellphone, coming too late, etc.,) he raged so loud that we were distracted from the issue! Than he turned it around and everything would be my fault because I didn't trust him.😳

A Narcissist doesn't like to ask for anything, so rather than ask for a particular sexual act they go out looking for other forms of supply who will do things the others don't as they like to come across as being the know all confident perfect lover. 🍒

Right on point 👉👉👉👉l was that appliance. He told me his commitment was with me but he was cheating left and right. I felt so lonely when I was married to my ex narc husband. I thank God for delivering me 🙏 and my family 🙏 praises to the most high God 🙏 our Lord 🙏 Jesus Christ son of God 🙏🙏🙏

You always hear that not happy or will never be happy. That standard comes from a normal person's perspective. When somebody is out doing what it is they want to do they are very content with their actions. I think people say that they'll never be happy to make themselves feel better. Now the person that they're with will never be happy.

Yes.. they seem great at first then you see the pattern of behavior. Whatever my ex did in our marriage, he did in his first marriage also.

They are not able to honor and respect their partner. . Well they are in relationships with their mothers in their heads. There's no such thing as partner, only the narc exist and his momy..

When we figure them out and see the person behind the mask, then, off they go to fill up with new and different supply.

All your videos are EXCELLENT and amazingly helpful, Ben. THIS ONE absolutely nails the fundamentals of what it means to be dealing with a narcissist! This is the real deal about the narcissist's TOTALLY DIFFERENT basis for everything they do and don't do, think and don't think, feel and don't feel...ETC. 😳🙃 Crazy-making in the extreme to be dealing with such a person! UNTIL the light is shined on the situation, the way YOU do in this video.💡 ✨ You are in your DHARMA, Ben with the loving gift you are bringing to the world in this channel and your other platforms - MAHALO!!! 🍍🍍🍍 BLESSINGS to you and your family 😘💕😇🌎🌠✨

I too I'm a narrsassistic it's hard to look back and kinda know u messed up people for life

Yeah,I certainly didnt know what I was in for when I got married.

It's amazingl to HEAR it I can't quite label the feeling But.. . One thing is to LIVE it.. . And another to HEAR it from you! :/ To learn about it & hear the backround to all the BS we've been through - Tge reasons & excuses - The reality we wonder about & question ourselves.. . Constantly! There's some comfort in knowing you're not the only one going through this.. . We're NOT Crazy!! ThankU for the lessons & support Ben!!🙏

For me any realtionship is transactional, i get bored easily so the connection is just for rhe moment

Ben, you're the only one that talks about the cheating narcicisst! You brought me to that light.

Great points, Ben. It is just frustrating when you love some for a really long time (over 20 for me). And they discarded you for the new supply that they had in their back pocket. Sucks. Thanks, Ben, for another great video.

I've left 60 times and this time I see more than ever how much of a narcissist he is. Its so hard to let go. Every point you have said is 1000%

All true😮they are sooo insecure and cannot live without the praise and admiration of other people😂😂it is laughable ,the constant worry whether or not he or she is cheating is a bloody nightmare😮😮 sometimes one feels like screaming : " man ,just leave me if you prefer other people,what the heck,the not knowing ,just guessing is heart wrecking and breaks you in the end....take the elephant out of the room😂😂😂😂😂

My narc seems to rnjoy when I act like I'm better than him in public. But to do that I need to act distant, act like someone I'm not.

They are the most creative cheaters. You think these people are working, they even bring home fake documents, yet they're cheating. It blows my mind how much effort they put into cheating and lying 😒

Absolutely the best description of a narcissist I’ve heard in a long time! Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us every day on all these platforms. I have learned so much from you and I’m truly grateful..keep it going please. God Bless you for what you do 🙏🏻🥰

I'm still working through the revelations that my husband was a functioning (also retired combat vet w/ A LOT of Rage/ Jealousy Issues) alcoholic and then had an on/off mistress who was a con artist who survived by getting $ from her 'male friends) which explains Everything @ my life with my Narc Husband; he was always somewhere in a Constant Rage cycle; I was leveled by finding out his unfaithfulness and Constant (what I now know...) NEED for attention outside our marriage

It's true what u said today about cheating ,I have seen photos of him and someone alse that could be his mom, doing things with each other.

I'm really glad I came across your channel cause I've watched at least 7 of them back to back and everyone of them was very helpful, so thank you for sharing your insight to help heal and restore those wounded by these personality types so thank you thank you thank you!!!! It's been three and a half years I have been dealing with a toxic malignant narcissistic personality type and three of those years.... I've been trying to walk away from this relationship. I've pretty much experienced every video topic you have on your platform personally... Since unfortunately right before I met him I was coming from a toxic sociopathic covert narcissistic personality type he was only two and a half months my boyfriend but he stuck around in my life for almost a year after broke up. I'm definitely not proud of my taste in men these past years since I have experience real love in my past. I just want to get there again in that healthy safe place with a man that I can trust and that I know feels mutual love for me and my son. I am trying no contact with this man and I am feeling the dysfunctional withdrawals of feeling that I need him in my life when I know it's a victory to get him out. 😊 🎉

My loved to run into the bathroom and start texting other women in the bathroom. When I was over his house and when I was sleeping, he would text other women too. He was on several dating sites, all the time too. He could have four women living under his roof and that still wouldn't be enough at all. He's a complete sex addict! He would even rub it in my face, how many other women he was sleeping with or talking to behind my back. Nothing is good enough for him at all.

Does the narc make you feel like you the only one they fought with or were cruel to? I hear that a lot. "I've never fought with anyone else, your the problem " yet, only one relationship in his 55 yrs lasted over 3 yrs.

GREAT WORK BEN, ALL INCLUSIVE IT IS. 👏👍 The realities are revelations into the mind of a Narc. Truth.

I know he is talking about people being viewed as appliances.... but I have to say that my X had a wierd relationship with actual appliances to. I always found it wierd how mad he would get when an appliance wasnt tailored to his specific requirements. Like he decided exactly how an appliance should work and get really mad when it didnt. Not bad quality items either, just anything that didnt fit his specification. Normal people would assume they had chosen the incorrect appliance for their needs or adapt to how it works. Sooo... if thats he views people too.. that really says something 😅

He always wants me to clean his apartment.

Thank you! How to I avoid coming back. It's definitely trauma bond!

What a miserable life! Sad way of living.

Or friends with benefits.

Always cheating

Very informative Thank you!

Great advice

Another excellent video! Exactly what I needed to hear.

Beautifully stated.

Loved "a appliance", lmao Ben, 🤣 truth, but this 1?, Computer Science degreed, clueless to what TTYL means! There so busy covering their 👣 tracks, they miss the simplest things.

Glad I found this channel. Really trying to make sense of it. Wishing I could get over, through or at least around it all. I spent a good amount of time learning it's not all my fault and forgiving the part that was.

I get it!👍🏾

Thank you for the Videos everything makes sense know, Been in a relationship with my ex husband for 14 off and on ,he was always so suspicious with his phone found him on many different dating sides.i would question him and he would always blame me for not doing enough for him he said I was not classy enough ,not smart enough I was not able stimulate him .know I understand is not my fault I try everything to make him happy but it was not enough it will never be enough ,

Yes.The chase,get the married woman,destroy her marriage,discard her with disdain.And jump to the next.I,his wife,was shown this at a party.

Slaves to sin :/

HAHA!...THE STORE!!

Everyday he does this gone from 4 to 12pm and gets mad when I ask him he got mad at me.

Ben, I know you often address when people (like me) say: “I’m really confident my person didn’t cheat,” but I found he was oddly preoccupied with loyalty-almost to the point of obsession. And truth telling…so long as he could determine the reality the truth lived in (shifting goal posts if that makes sense). Do you think there are types of narcissists that don’t fall into these categories because of preoccupation with certain morality concepts…and why would they be so obsessed with these concepts if they don’t have a strong moral compass?

Not usually i do not believe that they can be. But they will not admit this of course even if caught....

What if there addict to sex,drugs, and more.

So right now my boyfriend told me when I get back there we will have an amazing relationship and I would be his queen forever if I just don't mess it up he just text me today he said we are just friends we are not a couple then he ghost me so he won't even answer the phone or text me I want to ask him what is going on but flat line so once again I'm on my own by myself

My wife 😅

Yes when I got with my boyfriend he wanted to marry me I thought I was In a fairy tale he was amazing I moved to a different state to be with him my mom passed and brought everything I own after I got here I dint have a job he told me he didn't care if I had two pennys to rub together a man should support a women but I had my inherentance I had to put the down payment on our place pay rent was to high he gave me 500 a month sometimes I paid 1300 and bought food electricity was great for a 7 months then he got mad for no reason I went to the store with his friends wife or out for lunch he was calling me constantly he wanted me home as soon as he got there so I had to hurry he timed me all the time then he started becoming distant so he would sit out side smoking his cig something wasn't right he started having highs and lows and sometimes he was great but other times I felt alone we have broke up and then got back together so Many times then he didn't want to get married I was then his girl friend then I was his friend but he had to know what I was doing no matter what I thought I was going crazy my heart was so broken he didn't care at all he became cold it was like I was with a vampire he wanted me to suck my soul out then he was done I could go when I got on my feet he wanted me back and I thought I could Handel it but I never can because the deep love I have for him is uncontrollable its like I'm addicted to him never was in a thing like this ever before

This has been me .. I’m just trying survive :( but I’m hurting my wife what should I do .. I feel horrible but can seem to stop

So @ raw motivation do u think being a narcissist is a mental or personality disorder?? 🤔

Hey

Today i recieved a letter with a birthday card. Hy told me. How hé missed me. We have 7 weeks. No contact. After he cheated my with multiple woman. But now i don,t no what to do...😔

Whats their void about???

They need untainted supply. Someone who can validate their false self.

He cheats with his spouse and on his spouse - Sick!! He cheats online - so there is A Lot of future faking - promises of Meeting Ad having a wonderful life - but He is Never going to leave his Main Supply- his wife of 30+ years - why should he, he has a Play ground on internet and to him, it’s not physical so it’s Not Cheating!