As my psycholigist put it, our habits are like paths in the forest, that are wide and comfortable. We like walking on them, it is nice and easy. But forming a new habit is like carving another path torough a thick forest. First you break the mold by going through the thicket once. It is hard but may be exciting. Then, over the months and years, you try to choose the hard path over the easy one over and over again. And each time you do, the new path becomes a tad bit wider, and the old path starts to grow over with the bushes. The old one will always be there, straight with no trees, but it will get less accessibe. Meaning it is still fairly easy to fall back, but at the same time the new path will eventually become nice and comfy too :) Or you could just see it as having strong neural paths for one behaviour and having to grow new neural connections for another behaviour. The old one will never fully disappear, but when the new one gets stronger, it will be favoured much more often. Anyway: practice is key, and failure is just a part of it. And it is absolutely fantastic that you plan on forming better responses to stressors! Thinking about it actively or even making plans on paper is great. Fingers crossed!

I found your channel randomly. I don't know much about no buy, but I've been watching mostly because I enjoy listening to you talk and the way you reason through your process. I've been finding your conscientiousness inspiring as someone who also tends to be attached to the shopping cycle. And I just want to throw this out there. Witnessing you admitting to and talking through your failure is incredibly valuable to anyone working on anything at all in life. We all share your experience in one way or another, and most of us try our best to hide it. I think its so wholesome and healing to be reminded that this is what we share as humans and we're truly in this together. You are very admirable, failing or not. Thank you for being so open.

Don't be too hard on yourself - you're doing really well! It's all part of the learning journey xx

Whenever this happens to me (usually around the 3/4 month mark, although I'm doing better lately), I remind myself how much more money I would have spent (wasted) during that time if I hadn't been at least trying. You're only human, the behavioural shift you're making is huge, overall you've come so far from where you started.

Keep going 🤍 our idea about challenges and "failing" is so strange. Recognizing patterns, habits and continuing to try to be better is winning. You didn't fail.

I’ve had mixed results with wishlists. Sometimes it’s good for me because when I see something on my list that I don’t want anymore, it helps remind me why I shouldn’t make impulse purchases. I’ve also noticed that sometimes I check my wishlist, and see something that I had forgotten about. And then the feeling of desire returns, and it takes more will power to not but something I had forgotten about.

Thank you for having a realistic take on a no- buy year. Things happen, life happens. I appreciate the way you address things are honest with yourself and us. 😊

I did a no buy in 2019, and i bought something after around 4-5 months. If I'd seen a video like this then, i probably would have kept going despite the slip up. So it's great that you shared this❤

There are always going to be setbacks and obviously I can see that you didn’t give up. I’m so glad you found the strength to keep going and I’m so proud of you for that. Resetting and knowing it’s ok to keep going is the biggest thing. The fact you realise you made a mistake means everything.❤

I just randomly found you and have the same issue: i want to shop less but keep failing. Thank you for talking about failing, it shows that others are also human and struggle a little. I also try to understand my behaviour and triggers :)

9:33 you just caused me to explore my own obsession with clothing. And I’ve discovered that when I was a kid I couldn’t fit into anything and I was from a small town with little options. Now I’m an adult and I buy everything I like and can fit. I have to conquer this.

Give yourself a break. Its ok to love what you wear. It's actually good that you do. If you love most pieces that you buy, you will wear and keep them for a long time, which is good for sustainability. Your commitment to intentional shopping via your wish list is a good start. Perhaps instead of no-buys, you could set a maximum number of purchases for the year in each category. Maybe clothing, shoes, health and beauty. Set a low but realistic goal. Maybe 1 or 2 items per category per month.

I have found one of your most recent videos via KZfaq recommendations and I like it so much that I started binge watching your no buy year videos from the beginning. Your journey is so inspiring that I have started a no buy rest-of-the-year myself ( I am not as self-confident to do a full year, but maybe I will extend…) Thank you for admitting even the failure, it feels so relatable and human. And honestly, it gives me more strength to start at all, because you have shown to us that it is ok to make mistakes, take responsibility and learn from it.

Thanks for your transparency. Do not get discourage, you're doing your best and this is a process. I find your channel inspiring, don't be too hard with yourself

I also failed this month. I’m in the process of updating my clothes to consist of mostly cotton (so hard to find 100% cotton nowadays) due to my eczema and Abercrombie has a pretty good selection of cotton jeans and shirts. But I got caught up in the shopping and bought more than I wanted to. It sucks and I feel so guilty but I’m going to do my best to make up for it next month. I’ve removed a lot of things from my wishlists so that I won’t be tempted to buy. I have some financial goals that I really need to focus on. Best of luck to anyone else who is going through the same ❤

I have tried to do no buy years for the last three/four years and I have also failed. I was also feeling shame but upon reflection, I felt that bought much fewer things during the no-buy years than the years before. So it's at least better than before even though it's not perfect. Don't be so hard on yourself.

I've failed every month this year. I do okay and then towards the end of the month I usually just snap. But every failure is a learning opportunity so don't think of it as a negative thing and keep going ❤

Your clothing story is so similar to mine! We came from Puerto Rico to the US, and we were poor. My mom bought me a *wind breaker* for winter 🥶 I froze until I was finally given a sweater. I was in middle school. Now I'm trying not to shop. I'm an adult woman and I over shop just because I lived in poverty so long that now my brain is like "You can shop! All the time!! Yay!!" Which is a blessing, but I don't want to keep shopping compulsively. Thanks so much for sharing your own journey ❤️ It's really helpful!

Thank you so much for posting this. I’ve been trying to do a no buy since the beginning of April and also failed in a big way this past weekend…also things from my wishlist. You made it longer than me! I was feeling really guilty about it as well but trying to channel that guilt into stronger conviction going forward. I’m not hoping you fail or anything but it’s nice to know I’m not alone in the struggle. Many other “no buy influencers” seem to never fail or backslide which makes me feel even worse about myself and how hard it is not to shop. Hopefully we both can be successful from here on out!

Oh wow! Is so interesting to watch your journey on no buy. Wardrobe especially, want to express your artistic non conforming style, but want to be minimalist. Over the years, I learned a lot of my own shopping mistakes, and each time I declutter I notice items that I like, but is not my lifestyle, I learned to stick to my true self style, all the fancy self items I keep buying is not the correct choice for me, and took me a long time to get to a point of intentional shopping. For your job, uniform wardrobe is the best way to keep it together. Good content btw.

I appreciate you so much. Also I think that you are very likable and kind on camera. Thank you for sharing. I have also failed and started again. Please keep going and know you're making a difference for me, too ❤

I just wanted to say I've been wanting to share my own journey with trying to save money but every time I record a video I am extremely embarrassed and it's not just me. It affects my whole family and I don't want to embarrass my husband as well. With all that being said, I have this gnawing feeling that I need to share my journey because I know that there are others who struggle the same way. So I just wanted to say thank you for not giving up on sharing the struggle that you're experiencing as well. It's very relatable and you encourage me to share my story as well

You’re human… we make mistakes. You already have identified the triggers and making a plan for when it happens next. You did great; keep putting one foot in front of the other. Progress not perfection.👍👍🌸👍👍

I’m so glad I found your channel. I don’t think it matters as much whether you’re fully “successful” or not, so much as how important your thought process is. You’re analyzing your mistakes and really figuring out what’s behind the shopping. In the long run that’s more effective than just white-knuckling your way through the year, but not understanding anything.

I know I'm an adult obsessed with clothes because I always felt like I didn't have the right "in style" items as a kid 😔 Why are we all still dealing with our teen demons.

You didn’t fail! You’re working towards and through your goal and look how far you’ve come! You’re doing great! Keep going!

I believe that failing is part of the learning process. Be kind to yourself. Thanks for sharing. Consider Low buy instead, it worked much better for me

You are not alone. I failed my no-buy year too. I bought myself some wishlist items for my bday last month, this week I caved to peer pressure to buy something new for an upcoming work event, and I also bought some items on ThredUp b/c some people count thrifted items as okay to purchase during a no-buy (even though I didn't make that exclusion when I made my year rules, so I def cheating.) ... I'm doing the challenge with my mom and she hasn't failed yet. She's doing good! Growth looks different for everybody. I'm not going to give up!

Please keep making this videos you are human ! You know how many times I have started a no buy ? 2 many thank you for being relatable! I agree with you for me keeping a wishlist is a double edged sword, this year I’m doing a low buy and I’m not keeping a list if I really love something I feel like I won’t forget a list is just a reminder of wants

Thank you for sharing ❤❤❤

I have come to the realization that I have a shopping problem, it is a coping mechanism for me, much like yourself, and also stems from a recent mental health diagnosis; it has helped because I do recognize the pattern in my own behavior and how to avoid it, but I have not found something to replace it with yet. I also have two young children (elementary age) and I am also a full time grad student, I also don’t have the time for a lot of options. What I am getting at is that you are not alone, you have not failed, you’re adjusting as you learn more about yourself. 😊

Also found your channel randomly. To be very honest with you - I adored this video. You have such a calming personality and failing is and will be part of the process. Showing failures literally make me follow this journey because if you had not failed once, it would be very hard to relate with you. I'm trying to reframe my shopping habits too so I'll be following your journey. I love your content and will be watching all your previous videos. I feel my triggers are very similar to yours (and probably most people's). Please keep being honest on your journey. x

i really appreciate you posting this, your thoughts were really helpful for me. ive gotta say the stuff you bought does all seem really reasonable to me, but im glad you broke it down and shared it. when you said about the guilt and shame of not doing things that align with your values being so important in this, it made me think about stuff in my own life, and i wanted to say that its okay that sometimes we do (or rather dont do) stuff like that. there are so many things that are out of our isolated control and factors we consider in the moments making a decision but can easily diminish later on, at the end of the day we're animals (i mean this in a biological way, not as a euphemism for being 'primal' or something). we want to survive and enrich our lives and i really respect you for the learning youre undertaking and for letting yourself have this sort of experiment in "failure" which looks like it served you positively even if it isnt what you planned. like, i know its just small things, but those jeans seem to have helped you affirm your identity in a new place/community, those books might inspire you but also importantly you said you might share them with friends after which is great especially when dealing with some loneliness, and its nice that youre giving your child something you somewhat missed out on as a kid (self expression through fashion!). theres so many problems with consumerism but not so much with the reasons for your choices, you clearly have a good heart. also im glad things worked out for that fellow musician, and you've clearly taken it as a learning experience, but it is okay that you decided not to help. the overall situation sounds pretty stressful for you and that decision was maybe just the right one at the time and you dont have to be selfless. especially when you have little ones to look after omg !!!!! anyway, to be selfish, if you hadn't failed your no buy and shared this i would never have seen this and felt less alone and more inclined to do better myself. i really appreciate it!! take care and best of luck with your progress into the no buy year!!! ❤❤❤❤

Hi from Denmark. Thank you for posting your real and vulnerable thoughts in this video. I so appreciate your honesty and reflections. I found your channel in early april and I always look forward to your videos 😃 The fact that your no-buy is a messy process rather than a linear progression is even more inspiring to me. I have shopping issues relating to buying for my kids. I homeschool them and I find myself browsing for the next new educational *something* to enrich our day even more. I too, more often than not, assign much more perceived value to the items that I end up buying than the items can actually provide - leaving me feeling distressed about the money spend AND the space these items will fill in our already crowded house. I've gotten a lot better at pausing before purchasing, especially after consuming even more no-spend content here on youtube this year (also a long time Hannah Louise Posten fan here), and your reflections always helps😃

I love this video...I think your viewers are learning as much from your experiences as you are (I learned about a likely trigger for clothes also stemming from childhood experiences which I'd never really thought about before watching this). Seeing you go through the exercises of figuring out why there was a "failure", making adjustments/trying new approaches, etc., is really so valuable to those of us also trying to succeed at our goals, whether a no buy year or some other goal. The willpower revelation is really huge. Willpower doesn't work and it's like living Einstein's definition of insanity that we all still try to rely on it. Looking forward to hearing about your new strategies to support your renewed conviction to your no-buy.

I've failed my no buy year and I feel a lot better listening to your experience and those of others who struggle, so just know, I appreciate you.

The real time Under Armor experience is a core memory for me as well -_- Thanks for sharing!

You do such an amazing job of breaking this down and making sense of your own habits and self. I am so inspired by your candor and your commitment and your clarity of thought!

Great video! I have an online shopping addiction but I think I am filling a void, to have something to look forward to. When it arrives 75% of the time I return the item. By the time it arrives I am already on to something else. Waste of my time and makes it hard to budget my money, even with all the returns.

I have just discovered your channel. I appreciate your content. Stick this out and it will be worth it. I think it takes some time to rewire your brain to not seek a fix through shopping but once it happens you're free! You'll still love all the beautiful things that never goes away, you'll just start to have an internal dialogue with yourself when thinking about buying. For me, I started saying/asking myself things like. "to what end...?!" and "I can only wear one dress at a time."... I don't know if this is the norm but once things shifted I started to get a 'high' on not purchasing. I started to get a lift on walking out of a store w/o making a purchase. This new rush didn't come from saving money it came from exercising discipline. I can't be the only one that experiences this?!?! Thank you!

I agree with the wishlist, I think I dont keep them anymore because I was always reminded of the things I wanted but dont need (ads do that for me all the time). I think the realizations and the findings you get from doing the challenge are the real gems here, and you have been really good at examining over it and coming out with great observations. So please continue if you can!

In my experience, refraining from buying only works if I have found out what these purchases give me emotionally, what they compensate for, what feeling leads me to buy, where it comes from and what I can do to solve it WITHOUT buying. In my opinion, a lot of self-reflection and knowledge are the prerequisites for avoiding excessive shopping

So glad that you are keeping with your challenge. I’m doing the same along with you and we’ll know the struggle.

Your self awareness and courageous honesty are so inspiring. I share some of your struggles and your memories of being a child and not having the ‘right’ clothes really resonated with me. It’s good to hear someone else’s thought processes as I normally am stuck in my own. I do think you may be being very hard on yourself as slips and fails are part of the journey and look at all the reflection it’s triggered.❤

Hi, I haven't seen one of your videos in awhile, but this one popped up on my feed. Thanks for your honesty and sharing your struggle. I am noticing that emotions affect my shopping habits too. I'm going to attempt a no buy month in May... Your videos will give me encourage!

You're a genuinely good soul. I can feel that through this video. You can do this. Keep going hun.

I admire your honesty. I bought clothes some days ago. Its fine but I feel shame now. I like architechture and plants/flowers and they can be appreciated for free. This channel is really healing❤ Thank you.

Thank you for sharing the honest reality, it's not always necessarily a linear path we are going to, sometimes we are caught in a little cycle, and have to get back on the path. Thank you for a real representation, what it means to get out of that overconsumption cycle. :)

I’m sure you have learned by now because this seems like it was a while ago, but it’s very hard to do a no buy because you haven’t changed your habits yet. But I am sure that you are a lot smarter about what you buy and you are in the process of changing your habits and that’s all that matters and you should actually feel proud.

I have no idea why KZfaq recommended this to me but don’t give up, I’m rooting for you! If no thing else this is an interesting topic to document even if you feel like you failed the challenge there is still something to learn from it.

As someone who previously worked with people living with addiction (in a much different context), it was interesting to hear you use all the language that we use (or hear) to talk about habits, without you realising that that is what you could call it. Because it's pretty much the same sentiments and feelings placed in a different context. And those same, immediate reward pathways are there, no matter what the habit is (beneficial or detrimental in whatever way those terms relate to someone's personal circumstances). I did read the pathway analogy someone else's psychologist gave, and while it's pretty good, in my practical experience it's imperfect. Sometimes multiple pathways remain fully accessible, and the only thing that differentiates them is choice. That's why I do then wholeheartedly agree that planning is a great thing; it sets you up to make the best choice you can in that moment between all the (inviting!) paths. Imo habit-forming isn't completely about reinforcing and maintaining a pathway to form another rote behaviour, it's primarily about maintaining the choice, which is where the meaning lies. But, tbh, overall whatever works!

The Damson Madder vest is fierce tho lol I found the Ali Abdaal book in the airport months ago and have yet to read it (I chalk it up to my ADHD) Also I live in a city that most New Yorkers would call a suburb called Jersey City which is literally just a 10 minute train ride but feel similarly to you in the sense that it’s a place I struggle with finding community even though I’ve lived here for 3 years - I made nyc my home for 12 years so adjusting to a place that feels more isolated in a bigger space to live does make me feel like I’ve subconsciously filled my house up with stuff because the space is available 😅

You’re so insightful about how family background and the social pressure cooker of school, with the comparisons and conformity policing that goes on among peers there, plants the seeds of many subsequent thinking and behavior patterns. Your style seems more thoughtful and aesthetic than average than your peers’, now, though! I think also that women are still constrained in many ways even by well-meaning families and social structures. Or simply by financial limits. Or people in general may love their life but still feel a bit stuck. Sometimes objects like clothing feel like the only way to transform one’s life and beautify it a little in the short term. On a lighter note, recommend scrunchies with a velvet-like texture as a hair tie. The texture of that material is gently grippy. You can even find them at dollar stores and drugstores sometimes.

Hey, I have done one buy- nothing - year in 2018 but now I want to do once again. My conclusions from first experience is- there will be more desirable stuff even after that year, don’t worry that something like that Buffalo sweatshirt would not exist anymore, there will be! I used to channel the inspirations (or wishlist items) towards making things myself by sewing. If you don’t know how, you can easily learn it even with the help of KZfaq. I’m sure you can get free sewingmachine from a craigslist or FB Marketplace. Also, please encourage your friends or close people to encourage you to keep not buying when you feel you want to give in. You need to plan couple of exceptions- i kept my going out with my friends once a month for a coffee / cake/ lunch. Plan some new or other activity so that boredom induced shopping or wanting to shop will not kick in. Good Luck and I‘m off to consider if I can do this second time as well :) Kindest regards from Germany!

Keep going and give yourself some grace.

I tried the Tibi jeans in the store, on sale, found the styling excellent but the fabric was so stiff. Knew I wouldn’t wear them…….’comfortable ‘ is the first word of my three words.

Youre doing amazing! ive def failed in impluse putchasing but i am trying to mend that! It just takes time and all we can do is fail forward!

Hi! New subscriber here! I found your channel yesterday morning (this was my first video recommended to me!) and I’ve been watching your videos since. I still haven’t caught up will all of them but I’m planning to! I think an important thing to remember is that you’re not alone in this and that we, your community, are here to support you! If you ask for advice or feedback in your rules or no buy structure we could give you our thoughts on potential fallacies that you didn’t factor in. Maybe you could make a new video reinforcing your no buy rules and guidelines? Oh maybe you could watch other no buy rule and guideline videos and compare in a video what would/wouldn’t work for you? I know you are doing logs and updates mostly, but videos about the process and evaluating how the structure is working for you is one of my personal favorite aspects of no buy content! And it’s a nice reminder that we all need to adapt and adjust as our circumstances change. I’m excited for your journey!! 💓 Also, this is non-related but what instrument do you play? I thought it was violin but I also thought it might be cello?

Thank you for sharing, I failed quite a few times now. I learned many things and I think it’s a process. Even though I failed Im getting better at it

Nice Video. I think you learn from your mistake and trying again is always better then giving up. you can do it

no buy is really hard - shopping is such a difficult habit to break - go easy on yourself

Some observations... You maybe should think about using "need" when everything is actually a want. I think this can help out brains. I like what you said about separating holidays from material things. I think it's odd (as a fellow mom) to buy yourself Mother's day gifts. I think you also bought your own valentine's gifts, if i recall correctly? It seems like you're failing because you made a loophole that allowed you to still browse and shop (like the frog and toad shirt being a "memory"), and that allowance then allows you to try to find legitimate reasons to purchase what you want. All this is said as someone who started a no buy year in January and made it til February...barely. So I'm seeing a lot of myself in what you're saying! I know the struggle is real!! I mentioned Shawna Ripari's channel in my other comment...I definitely think you'll enjoy her content and find it helpful. She no longer recommends a full blown no buy year, even having done one herself. Hannah's no buy year was amazing because she didn't make any loopholes, she was strict, everything was a no...some people can do that (I wish I was one!), others need to learn healthy coping mechanisms first and more about the psychology of shopping. I hope you keep posting videos, even if you don't continue your no buy! And kudos for being brave and sharing your journey💜

Gosh, I never needed for anything but my parents did the same thing. I never got real converse never had what other kids were wearing, and now I think because I have the money I CAN have what everyone else has for once. Unfortunately, I have discovered in buying for example the summer fridays lip balm: its not life changing and I am still not the cool girl. I’m happy with being the weird girl but I think part of me felt like I missed out and went back to give myself everything I wanted as a child. I understand my parents and I also understand the little girl too. Coming full circle ❤

Hi! I am also doing a low buy year, where you have green ( essentials) yellow ( buy with thought/ in moderation ) and red ( cannot buy ) lists. This helps me alot. That said i have also "broke" my low buy, but i say slipped up. When i did i felt bad obviously but ultimately came to the conclusion that, messing up is okay aslong as you learn from it. I guess what im saying is everyones no / low buy will look different and you only have to justify it purchases to yourself - if you need them, buy them. No buys aren't meant to deprive us, they just help us to appreciate or use what we already have 😊. I also personally dont think you've 'failed', you've just slipped. I don't think you start again, I'd just take another look at your lists give yourself a little bit of grace ( we are all recovering hypocrites 😂) and move forward! Good luck ❤ Edit - you could also try a low buy dairy - which may help to work through you thoughts when you feel like you what to buy stuff ❤

When I call a period a "no buy" period I buy like crazy, justify everything and fail. When I give myself permission to buy what I need and ask myself questions before buying I buy less. I think the rule just makes me want to break it. Ha.

Omg my story is very similar. I’m also an immigrant who grew up with frugal parents. As soon as I started working I went crazy with buying name brand clothes and designer bags/shoes.

I am a child of immigrants/ am a immigrant and having no control over your style really sucks. Becoming a adult made me buy so much to try to show myself off more and it’s pretty brave to see you make steps away from buying, specially clothes

Heyo, it's ok. I did a no buy almost a decade ago first with clothing and then with makeup and have continued it mostly organically since then. I did a quick assessment at the beginning of the year and knew that I did not need anything clothing or makeup wise. For me personally, I actually did enjoy a strict complete no buy because it freed up my entire mental load. There are no multiple rules that I had to think about everytime I'm faced with a decision because there is only one question "do I buy or not" and the answer is always "no." There is no "what if I buy this for you and give it to you so you're not technically buying it?" The answer is still no. Hope this offers a perspective that may be helpful to those who have not considered it.

Gosh when I hear you talk you sound so much like me. Are you an INFP by any chance? I definitely get INFP vibes! :) I have also relied solely on my shakey-ass willpower and it hasn't gone well for me. I will definitely be exploring more of your videos; they are super insightful. I also have a new relationship on the horizon and I do not really want to come clean about this (would rather sort it out first) and this man is wise with his money and probably won't be overjoyed to find that he has found himself a woman with an impulsive shopping habit. If there ever was a good motivation for change, this is it!

Maybe this failure was a true success. You have been educated and that carries a lot of power for your future.

' Nothing' + ' 1 year' are a setup for failure if you are not naturally totally minimalistic and don't care what you wear or what people think. Why not set realistic limits such as a budget or number of items per month? A month to plan, think and prioritise, and a monthly fix of buying are more likely change binge behavior.

Hannah Louise has failed, too. Very much so. She has a substantial shopping addiction, I guess. I admire her as a poet and she is a wonderful person, very articulate and also very gifted. But she is so focused on stuff, it is very obvious.

I'm very sad to realize that I've spent 537 euros on clothes since January. I think I'll start my year without shopping now. 😢

I‘m doing this no buy challenge since I was a child. I’m living in eastern Europe

It sounds like you’re extremely creative individual. Maybe you’re trying to express that creativity in the things you buy. Do you have a hobby or a way to release that creative energy?

maybe u could look into thrifting /buying secondhand more, rather than shopping so if what u want isn’t available, then yr just out of luck, or even buying basic pieces and making them unique to your liking yourself!!

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I think you’re being really hard on yourself, i understand wanting to do a no buy year (though i believe conscious spending and a low buy are easier to keep up with) but if its gonna make you feel like you’ve done something bad each time you buy something like a hair clip then it’s not very helpfull to stop you from shopping. I think if you force yourself to write what you want to buy and give it one day to think about it, you will stop most times.

Don't trip chocolate chip.

Oh boy there is a lot more to life than buying a hair clip wether you buy it or not it will certainly not keep you poor My goodness

I think you're being wayyyyyyy too hard on yourself. Enjoy your purchases - if everyone had your conscience and sense of ethics the world would be a better place.

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Great thought - admiring things without acquiring them. Thank you! 🤍✨