It's ironic you posted this today. I just made the decision today, to STOP the bitterness and being angry. I am moving forward and trying to stop those emotions now that it's been 3 months.

Sit in your honesty and take your power back. “What I had wasn’t even what I wanted.” POWERFUL !! 🔥

You are right. THEY DONT CARE. You can’t make the perpetrator feel remorse for what they did. It is a decision to not allow yourself to become a victim. At some point you have to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and move on with your life. It is hard. But the alternative is worse.

People just push back harder when you’re angry or bitter. Move on with a smile. The best revenge is no revenge.

Focus on yourself and stay busy. I’m a guy and I was taught she’s not yours it was just your turn. It takes time to heal trust the process and love yourself more then anybody else.

I went through a breakup 2 weeks now but had to go through 30 days NC prior bc he asked for it. As it turned out, he already decided to leave 30 days ago and didn't tell me until the end. Talk about betrayal. I did not eat nor sleep for 14 days. I looked like a zombie. Lost colors on my face & even gained a 6-packs for spending so much time in the gym. Now, I do a lot of meditations & hot yoga. I want to forgive and let go. I would never treat another human being that way. 7 yrs we were together & he treated me worthless in 10 min. Remember, you have a beautiful soul bc ur hearts hurt like mine. So be proud to have a compassionate heart. Let them go so we can move on for the better

I started living by the motto of “ i can forgive you for your behavior, but ill never forget and i dont have to have you in my life.” Its awesome and i dont bother trying to convince people of things or spend time trying when its not worth it.

Part of me wishes them well and the other part of me wishes they suffer hell. But deep down I just want all of us to be at peace. I don't want to be tormented by the pain anymore. I just want all of us to be happy and at peace.

It happened because I didn't know about boundaries. I tolerated inexcusable behavior and ignored red flags. Thank you so much for the video! Your awesome!

I am extremely bitter, even after 1.5 years after my ex emotionally cheated on and left me for another guy. They ended up marrying in under one year while she kept our long distance relationship a secret for 3. The fact that I was manipulated, lied to and led on while she blatantly benefitted from having me just makes me mad because I was so naïve and unaware of her plans. And knowing that she's extremely happy, now giving all her best to the other guy while she gave me absolutely nothing in return has kept me bitter all this time. I don't want her to be happy. Narcissists and cheaters don't deserve a perfect life.

I actually woke up in the middle of the night last night in peace and smiling. Realizing how good it felt to not be woken up in the middle of the night from him calling or coming in drunk or losing sleep being up with him arguing. Having a good sleep routine feels good. Good and bad feelings comes with healing.

It is a Wonderful day when you start feeling your power coming back to you! Life is too short to waste it on toxic people and the anger and bitterness on them!( for too long, at least) Thank you.

Stephanie, it's VERY hard to imagine any man leaving you high and dry. Like literally what woman out there is topping you? Insane world I swear.

very true: most people dont care that they hurt me. they are just concerned with living their lives in the way they consider best.

This was brilliant! I’m a single dad and you are normally excellent at being gender neutral. Yes you are so right about picking the positives out of the negatives regarding your son. You are an AMAZING mentor! What you do feels really genuine and heart felt I don’t get that from other people on KZfaq. Thank you so much!

That’s the Lesson, passing through the emotional Pain and building strength & confidence

You made a good point during the last minute of your video that if we look at what we really had in that relationship, it wasn't as great as we have built up in our minds! When we think it was better than it was it builds more resentment and anger and grief. Realizing what it actually was help alleviate those negative emotions. Thank you for your awesome wisdom Stephanie! 💓

I’m so ready to heal from this situation and become stronger

What an amazing video! I have been out of a bad relationship for 7 years and although I made great progress with a therapist, I have grown in more in 6 months just by following you. Please keep up the amazing coaching, you are helping so many!

Just went through a breakup last month , your channel has been such a lifesaver. Thank you for all your hard work Stephanie!

I'm having a hard time to move on and not be bitter because of 17 years of marriage that my husband didn't give value of it... Our family he just ruined it, he cheated on me it was a 6 months now that we're not together because he chooses his mistress over me and our family..

My child turned on me and won’t have contact. She blames me for the abuse that I received. Though it hurts to have her out of my life more than I can describe, I am glad to find out that unconditional love really exists because I have it for her. Anyone reading this please send me some good loving energy because I’m having a really hard time with a lot of things right now. Thank you❤

I needed this video! I am 39 weeks pregnant with our second baby, my husband left when I was just 22 weeks pregnant. I have been very resentful and bitter. I am angry that I will be forced to share my kids and miss out- this is not what I signed up for when we started a family!! I know I need to work on letting go of this anger..

You said it you can't keep going back expecting the perpetrator to finally grow a consciousness

Thank you so much for revisiting this topic for me. Have to remind myself daily. Left a traumatic home life at 16, into arms of a narcissist 7 years older . Left him 6 1/2 years ago. 23 years of my life I gave. I’m only now doing the deep work of reparenting myself. Some days it’s hard to understand who you are outside of all the trauma. I do believe in getting to a place of peace in myself in time. It’s all about me now. When left, getting abused for long time after I was parenting my children and completing a degree. Went into burnout year ago then got covid really bad to top it off. Only just starting to feel little bit human but grateful for the space I have to do some healing. Looking back I can’t believe the experiences I was put through but stated in because it became normal. Until I woke up thanks to him. For anyone who knows there is more than what you are going through. It’s possible! 🙏🏻

This was very good to hear. I needed this right now. I just received my court date for final divorce. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It has been a roller coaster for the last 6 months. His narcissism has really come out. Leaving me for another woman, then breaking up with her 3 times. He's nice one day and then the devil the next. We have a business together, and he does not want me to have any part of it. That's when he wants to be nice.

Also - the why - because I was a strong person who hit a vulnerable patch in life. I was a strong person who fell for society’s lie that I couldn’t possibly fulfill my worth as a human unless I fulfilled this goal of having a family, bearing children. Because Despite having good career, growth and development of skills, confidence, education, and a good network of supportive relationships, I felt lonely and incomplete as a woman. Because I happened across the path of somebody willing to take advantage of all those things. And since I couldn’t seem to find anyone up to responsibility for real, I let myself believe the words when I saw the actions running the opposite direction. I hung my hat on words aimed toward my goal rather than acknowledging the feet attached to those were aimed away from it. I saw a lack of willingness in others to take on the challenge of a family as a character flaw in myself, rather than the economic realities of a changing world order. But I can still be strong, with a level of wisdom now I didn’t have before. I’ve earned that depth and strength and can rely on that to rise to my family’s future needs. With or without this person. And if they drag us down more than lift us up, I owe it to my kids to provide a sane environment for them, a healthy one. Can I trust myself to create that now? Against this? With this in the periphery? Can I put distance as a buffing barrier between us and the source of this pain that seems to lack true solution? Am I willing to lift that weight? To do the work he won’t do with me? Haven’t I always been?

I'm trying but I've never been so used and abused by someone that I loved and thought loved me.

By making your mental health and personal growth a priority, you will heal much faster. I understand that this can be hard to do, especially if you have little ones to look after. However, if you do have little ones to look after, it’s even more crucial that you take care of yourself first. This is so you are fully able to take care of others. 💙KZfaqr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

This is beautiful. ❤ thank you for guiding us to learn from our mistakes. Just because we were targeted or hurt doesn’t mean we weren’t at fault in some level and it’s useful to see the full picture. Anything else is more propaganda. Ignoring blatant red flags 🚩 for example is disrespectful to the self. Or tucking away core values to stay in a relationship is a choice that leads only to the loss OF those values or an (eventual) loss of the relationship.

Wow... thank you Stephanie! 3.5 years after learning my husband of 38 years and someone I've known since 8th grade wasn't who I thought he was, the timing of this message is perfect! I've traveled down every path you described since having the rug pulled out from under me and am finally in a place where I am ready to not just exist each day but to thrive. My mom swallowed the pill of bitterness and it poisoned her. I vowed to never let life poison me but have struggled moving forward with joy and anticipation of what's to come. This video explains so much and I am grateful for your reassuring logic and for God's grace to get me to this place of healing.

Certain experiences that people encounter, they learn from and choose not to try and touch the pretty flames of fire; all the while lacking the ability to use their hand after touching fire the first time. After getting burned twice a wise person does not play with fire; no matter the fascination with the flame; I walk away from the fire, and stay away from it. And I do give it my respect.

I’ve got to say… I have watched your videos from the start of the separation from my ex husband and you have really been such a HUGE part of my Recovery. I’ve really gotten to a point where I see your videos and watch them because I enjoy the content, although I mentally feel super confident in with where I am and where I’m heading in my Future. Thank you… from the bottom of my heart! Thank you ❤

What an amazing video…you are an incredible coach! I’m going through this right now. My narc had me doing all the cooking, shopping, paying ALL the bills, and taking care of our 3 kids….she was out lying and cheating….left me for dude, 4 days afte we told our kids, in her new house she’s having him sleep in the same bed as my 5 year old and her…. It’s been sooo hard being the bigger person and being the stable parent and not hating her for the sake of my kids. I spend most days watching personal growth videos and putting in the work to heal. Thank you for your Chanel and thanx for what you do

Thanks for this Stephanie, I'm learning to not be bitter about things anymore it's tough though but I will overcome it.

Stephanie you are helping so many hearts. I am amazed at how you have such an deep grasp on the dynamics of abuse. Thank you

Doing things to take my power back was the jump start I needed to rebuild the self I lost in the relationship . It feels good to have myself back!

My narcissistic mother is the one that really altered the course of my life from day 1. Everyone else was just me, on a subconscious level trying to heal my "mommy issues" I recently went no contact with my mother. I'm no longer entertaining anyone else that's like her.

Moving past bitterness and anger is hard work but I guess it’ll come with time… I don’t want to feel this way. Life has so much to offer.

I've learned this stuff on my own, but it's so amazing and validating to hear that the anger, sadness, and self-pity that I once felt so strongly are incredibly normal. It can be messy at the start, but I know that I don't need to feel guilty for ever being in that place.

You scare me. I met up with someone who chose me and not me chossing them. I've learned what gas lighting is. I learned what 'Love Bombing' is, abandonment and toxicity all from one person. I've never been through anything like this in my entire life. I've come a long ways recovering from this mind control and rape, so to speak. I'm actually suprised I popped out of it so quickly. I'm still in touch with that person but on a lower level. That is where I've learned what gas lighting truly is. I'm not truly clear of her influence, yet.

Moving on is key it helps others to just be happy in life

Love this - because my (or our family’s) future is not up to him. Not reliant or dependent on him. I can grow into that responsibility and earn it back for us (me and the kids).

Watching this had made me ask "What is my lesson",I think it is to find the inner strength that was a constant,not there one day and not the next, I have to re find myself,even if I made mistakes

You are amazing. Your channel has helped me so much with my experience with my narc ex. I'm on my journey to move on and focus on the things that I do want. I've grown so much, learned a lot about myself and I'm carrying the positive outcome of this experience with me to make better choices and to focus on loving myself and knowing my worth/boundaries.

Thanks Stephanie. Your video came right on time! I felt like was losing the battle. 🙏 🤍

Better not bitter if I let that emotion control me I've lost and I'm no quitter. Thanks Stephanie 😀

Awesome. So great!!!

Stephanie thanks a mil…. I really needed to listen that. You have made me realise I have to work harder on myself or else I will be in an early grave.

Perfect timing! Thank you

Thanks!

This is so therapeutic, thank you so much! I hadn’t talked to my ex in almost 3 months and she reached out today but it wasn’t good! And I swear I saw the title of your video.. and I took my power back! I didn’t become bitter or argue with her, even though she called me all. Kinds of names and insults. I calmly answered her and let it be… I really feel good about controlling my emotions… thank you so much🙏

First of all.. thank you for your videos! They’re wonderful. My husband three years ago treated me horribly for about three months saying suddenly he wasn’t happy anymore. I cried and begged and he laughed and smiled.. never really would tell me what he wanted then one day he was just like I’m done acting like this. A year later he gaslighted me saying I freaked out about him turning his phone away but as I’m showering him with gifts on his birthday I see he’s messaging a female coworker on snap chat and proceeded to tell me he had no idea who she was and deleted everything about her from his phone. A year later we’ve been great! We booked a concert of a new band we are loving .. I bought us matching shirts and once again he’s turning his phone away from me only to find out he’s talking to another coworker and sending her videos of this band we like bonding with her over it and he says there was minor flirting but he deleted every last bit of the conversations they’ve had for months. I don’t even know what to do or how to feel anymore.

Good wake up call!

Thank you so much so much help

THIS RIGHT HERE!!!! YES!!!

Thank you

You' ve really said it all!!100%👌🏾

Thank you, this was very helpful and insightful hun!❤

Thank you 🙌 ✨️

Thanks for the making the video. Helped out tremendously today.

Thank you for that. It means a lot.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this!

One of your most beautiful videos! Thank you

Good one, thanks 🙏

This was the video I needed.

Thank you Stephanie ❤

Great videos Stephanie it helped me immensely you're a blessing...

Thank you. This was so powerful for me!!❤️

Thank you very much Helpful to understand and accept the truth

Really enjoyed this video. Confirmed many of my perspectives.

I needed this today!! This channel has saved my sanity the last few years

Thanks Ms. Stephanie. Your videos are great. Thanks for the validation!

Thank You

Amazing video I need to listen again

Thank you for the great content, especially this one. Thank you!

You are very good at what you do!

Thank you for this video♥️

I feel that with being bitter you have to learn to just let things go. Holding on to the past will do that

Very helpful

You always describe exactly how I feel!!!

You get it. Thanks.

You are such a fantastic source of reality and I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for all you do 👍🤠❤️

Thank you so much for this video ❤❤I really needed to hear this.

Thank you Steph please don’t stop making these content and especially on moving on break ups ❤

Thank you for your loving and kind words.

I can honestly say you have saved my life!!! I love who you are!!! ❤️

This video was very much needed today ❤

This week has been 2.5 weeks since "taking a break" which wasn't my choice. I feel like my only two emotions are anger and sadness. We are in the same church and same job and everyone that knows me knows her too. She is a people pleaser and I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone anymore because no one believes or takes seriously the hurt that I'm going through. Our relationship was so one sided towards her and everyone thinks that's normal I feel like I'm going crazy. When I complain about it everyone just looks at me like I'm pathetic adn I don't know where else to turn. She wants to talk it over and I know she's just going to apologize but nothing is going to change. She always says sorry but never fixes anything and I'm so frustrated because she tells other people how sorry she is and they look at me like I'm evil for not being satisfied with an apology when all I want is for things to be more fair - for things to ACTUALLY change. I don't know what to do. I feel like she is a fake Christian and I know that's not fair but I just can't understand why someone would do this. I hate her and I don't want to but at the same time I don't feel like she deserves what she is getting compared to what I'm getting. I don't feel like it's right for me to have invested so much into our relationship compared to her and then I have to also go through this too. All the advice I am getting from men in my church is to take responsibility for whats happening and take ownership but I truly don't feel like I did anything to make this happen and I don't know how to force myself to believe this is my fault. I feel pathetic because this is the only place I can say everything I'm feeling because no one else is going to listen or understand it.

I absolutely love when you said to think about what you've accomplished by yourself by going through these things...I love that!

You ticked all the boxes. Hit a lot of issues. You're pretty darned good! Thank you

This is absolutely inspiring especially the end part. I didn't even realize this was how I was seeing it. Thank for the great insight.

Thank you Stephanie you are the best explaining everything I appreciate everything you do

WOW…so applicable to me for years I’ve dealt with all this. Thanks so much for this timely guidance.

It’s time!!!!

Thanks. This was so real. Bless you for that. Especially today, after watching some BS on another channel.

it actually a blessing in disguise God has a better way I needed to go thru the fire in order to see what needed to be left and change because he and i know that whats coming is a whole lot better it was a necessary outcome to start shining ✨ and work not only in healing but to start building that bitterness is but a phase in a Transformation of a better me.

Thank You…your wisdom and message comforts me and brings me hope. Thank you again

You are so knowledgeable and your videos are so powerful. I resonate so much with you. Thanks for doing what you do. Your a blessing and inspiration.

❤ listening to Stephanie & her coaching skills. Such an excellent teacher & able to relate to her emotions. Highly sensitive 😅