Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy

Thank you for posting this very important comment.

EXACTLY

You deserve better! -Calista@TeamFairy

Exactly!

That sounds hard! You're in the right place and we're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I like that

I’m sorry that’s happened to you 🤗

I’m sorry this happened to you. I had similar happen to me but I have much better friends now. I’m very selective and am slow to offer too much of myself to start. I share this to encourage you that true friends are possible. As you work on setting boundaries and healing, healthier people are easier to find. I pray the Lord will send you good, caring friends and that you will be able to recognize them when they come. ❤

Me too

Yes me too!

Same here. Christ is the greatest friend you could ever have ❤

I wish I had known you back then!

Same experience 😊 And PoV! But also now: dont forget what I need & want!

@@Captain_MonsterFart same 💕

Unreal that this woman who claims to have suffered an abusive marriage would turn around and help another man abuse his wife. Shame on these people.

How could he do that to mother of his 5 kids? Well, I would bet he is a narcissist and a serial adulterer. Men that do that have a long supply line of willing women. It is so sad.

You got this! We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I was the oldest of 5. Mom would drive to the bars and my brother would go in and look for him. My best friend saw my dad with 1 of his girlfriends but he denied it. I watched my mom and soon to be stepmother physically fight . My dad made my mom go home. I was 14 then. It made me hate men and I didn't have any morals. Even though I went to church.

@@dessaarnold7540as a gay man I get it, but it’s not just men, I’ve heard from lesbians some rough shit

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

I think Anna can help with that! You came to the right place.

@@onetuliptree ❤

I can relate. I had this with after my mother’s passing. I now see the gift and opportunity, I am no longer giving energy to people not aligned to me and can’t or won’t reciprocate.

@@KarenGriffith_SoulfulCoaching im sorry your lost too. Best desicion for protecting our energy.

Thank you for your kind words! -Calista@TeamFairy

That sounds hard. You're in the right place and we're all here to support you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Funnily enough, it’s because I grew up in the same circumstances as yourself, that I ended up going the other way and had numerous affairs with married men. I think because I grew up convinced that I wasn’t good enough for anyone to want me, and that if I could keep a married man’s attention on ME instead of on his wife, then it was some kind of proof that I was after all, as desirable as she was. It was validating for me. It was proof that I was actually acceptable as a woman. I remember a man asking me to marry him and me saying, “If you say you love me, you’re either a fool or a liar, and I don’t want to marry either one of those.

It’s a demand for approval, no matter what.

Recently met a guy who I really liked initially and thrn he told me he had cheated on his ex-wife (partially genuine reason), but man, I lost all attraction in 30 seconds! Phew, he was quite a good match with me in many other ways, but integrity is my core value. 😏

Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Of course, and the thanks goes to you. An idea: if you can post about bullying in relationships and friendships, that'll be great. I appreciate you.

Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Glad you're here now :) -Calista@TeamFairy

Thanks for sharing this :) -Calista@TeamFairy

I am in this position, right now. I need to tell this friend that I NO LONGER HAVE THE TIME to stay on the phone, long-term, to discuss her life events. I have too many things that I need to prioritize, in my own life, RIGHT NOW. I don't know how I'm going to tell my friend this (a long text? a letter? a phone call?). For about a year, I have been the enabling counselor to this person....and I just can't take it anymore.

We're all sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you so much I really need it

@proudchristtian77 If you wanted to wave a banner for God, I'd be on board. If you don't represent grace, reconciliation, forgiveness and peace, you really are speaking for yourself. Sure it's wrong but God is neither harsh nor condemning. He corrects, gently. "His kindness leads us to repentance. " You don't sound like Him at all.

​@@lilhimer3361are you kidding. It was well said.

@@Occupied_South She asked a question. I gave an honest answer. If you don't like real answers, a public forum may not be a good place for you. Did something I said trigger you? Why? I think that's a question that needs to be answered., but maybe you'll just get really angry. I don't know you at all. Because one person thinks an answer is "well said" and "well said" has received upvotes, in no way does that mean 'case closed.' I commented on the actual topic. You found it necessary to correct me, rather than answering her question. So whose comment was unnecessary? I'll just leave that alone. Therapy only works if you choose honesty instead, over behavior you have gone fully out of your way to justify. If you are doing mental gymnastics to justify what you are doing, it's probably more wrong than you even suspect. Our 'friend' here stands to hurt a lot of people, thinking her loneliness gives her license to do it. We are talking about innocent children here. A divorce changes children's hearts and creates all sorts of Irreparable damage. In light of these truths, what does that say about her? Nothing good I'm afraid. I seriously doubt that is who she wants to be. Her loneliness has made her check any conscience she may have had, at the door. She is also on the list of 'victims of cheating married guy.' He has made her a co-abuser. She's in grave danger right now. In many many ways, she already is being selfishly abusive, herself. On top of that, she is just one careless 'text discovery' away (by 'innocent wife') from destroying an entire family! I was just urging 'the friend' to do the right thing for everyone, including herself, before she has 'that' on her already faulty conscience. This is the kind of crap that is only the beginning of a full run of madness. She really doesn't have to go there. If a therapist's job is to teach one how to look at themselves in truth and act accordingly, I have learned how to do that. I looked at myself, I was horrified at who I had allowed myself to become and I changed course. My childhood was pure hell. I am only OK now because I faced the beast head on. It was the best thing I've ever done. An excellent therapist facilitated my journey to sanity, kindness, forgiveness and peace but I alone had to look at me or I would have continued to spiral downward further into the morass my parents painstakingly created for me. They are not in charge anymore, thank God. I could have continued to blame them, but am I going to be a victim forever? No, I'm not doing that. She and her future children would likely be 'cheating guy's' next victims, when she is super busy with 'their' kids, and he cheats on her too, because he definitely would. There would be another younger, gullible woman that 'cheating guy' would find to 'meet his needs. ' He really is the true villain here but he is successfully cloning himself and she is going along with the program. Fleeing, to me, is the only thing to do but it's her choice, not mine. I hope she gets out immediately. I really do. There really is no other reasonable solution. I wanted to help. THAT is why I commented. A train wreck is imminent, but not necessary. Her hand is on the brake. 'Cheating guy' is a controlling monster. It's entirely up to her.

Anna has a couple of other videos addressing people who are “the other man/woman” in a relationship. I would recommend those. Long story short, if you’re in that kind of situation, it’s best to end the affair. It’s a limerent situation that drains your spirit and prevents you from having healthy relationships and friendships across the board. If a person is cheating on their partner with you, they are not a trustworthy person that you can have a healthy relationship with. Get out and start over. Maybe take a look at Anna’s dating course as well. And seek therapy.

@AA-cf4es Think about how you would feel if you were his wife, taking care of his five kids. Think about the wreckage that divorce leaves in the hearts and in the minds and social development of children of divorce. Think about how you are using a 'friend' as your on-call therapist and how what you really want is no one to call you out on being utterly self centered. It's all real. The thing that is not real is only you, pretending all that is ok, because you're lonely. What does this say about you? Is that really who you want to be? Now, go do the right thing and save everyone from you. It really is your call. Either you are a terrible person or you're not. Be who you want to be. You don't have to remain who you are. You can be a force for good, or the reason someone is living less than a real life in five years. I think you know exactly what to do. Stop asking everyone to tell you it's ok. It's not, but you already know that.

End all contact. Get yourself counselling and address why you feel so entitled to do what you've done and stop making excuses.