Our Parents Want to Give Us Money, But...
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Күн бұрынOur Parents Want to Give Us Money, But...
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@mida8261 3 жыл бұрын
What happened at the wedding should be the best indicator that you shouldn't be accepting their money at all! They want to control you! Continue without their money!
@todd2456 3 жыл бұрын
I'm confident that the parents want to be involved in the house purchase, location, price, etc., thus offering the money.
@jimroscovius 3 жыл бұрын
Run away from the money!!
@TheCobruhAlienat0r 3 жыл бұрын
Yup! Gonna turn into a IRL version of Everybody Loves Ramond with them insisting you buy a house next to or across from them or within walking distance. Or they'll pressure you into buying a bigger house than you can afford because they'll offer more money to help with the downpayment.
@Joe-jc5ol 3 жыл бұрын
Don't take the money, keep your independence. Dignity is not for sale.
@inspirationalnomad 3 жыл бұрын
💯👍
@wannabecarguy 3 жыл бұрын
I'm worried that my dad would want me to sell the kids if he gave me money. So I rejected the offer. However he's decided me and my siblings have to take a check in equal amounts. And he agreed I can apply the funds to debt.
@moma5501 3 жыл бұрын
Kinda in this scenario.... I’ve been living under the same room w/ them since my moms passing (three years ago) and so recently, I decided to gift them x amount. Then, they asked for a loan.... now Im in the awkward position of getting repaid lord willing. Any advice?
@judymckee5992 3 жыл бұрын
@@moma5501 , Forget about the loan and count it a gift.
@moma5501 3 жыл бұрын
Judy Mckee True. What about for tax purposes? I can use that as a credit right.
@sunshinebaconandmusic416 3 жыл бұрын
Do. Not. Take. The. Money. People’s track record speaks for itself. They will find a way to underhandedly turn the “gift” back on you. You guys are doing great on your own. Let sleeping dogs lie.
@andrianazakharko861 3 жыл бұрын
Ayawrxsti it’s true but then your risk the relationship which for some is important or your peace of mind. I think it’s best to stay away from such “gifts”. Why have someone think they are in a position to try and control or the very least constantly let you know how they “helped” you and if it wasn’t for their money, you would’ve been worse off? My success is my success and I personally wouldn’t want anyone taking credit for it. As someone said in the comments “dignity is not for sale”.
@sobc2737 3 жыл бұрын
They will ask you for a 🔑 and then burge in anytime they want to. Don't do it.
@LJ-qj9qn 3 жыл бұрын
😂
@nicolcacola 3 жыл бұрын
Momma wants to be the 3rd wheel in that marriage. Flat NO
@koreanplayboy 3 жыл бұрын
Hmm
@SnookOnTheFly 3 жыл бұрын
Yep
@jordanaubrey-realestateinv334 3 жыл бұрын
Parents are the best enablers out there.
@perreira831 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah we are 😆
@hollyb6885 3 жыл бұрын
That’s not enabling. These parents want to help out their kids. Take the gift and say “Thank you.”
@jordanaubrey-realestateinv334 3 жыл бұрын
@@hollyb6885 🤣🤣 you wants some 🧀 with that 🍷
@hollyb6885 3 жыл бұрын
@@jordanaubrey-realestateinv334 I think you need to look up the definitions is enabler and whine.
@FilthyMcNasty69 2 ай бұрын
The word is manipulators
@Michelle.05 3 жыл бұрын
Parents need to stop being so controlling of their adult children's lives! I'd say they're doing quite well by saving on their own.
@ianmowbray3284 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t take the money because Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner will Never tastes the same!!!!!
@marjoriebaut7981 3 жыл бұрын
I mean that’s what Dave says when they own money. But I still get your point
@mxerb5912 3 жыл бұрын
You’ll feel more pride saving it yourself. They’ll tell you what kind of house to get
@Je.rone_ 3 жыл бұрын
When someone does you a favor especially as it relates to gifting money it's usually an unsaid liability created on your "social balance sheet"
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
Haha-well said-a lesson I wish I'd learned earlier in life..
@theimperfectscrapper5313 3 жыл бұрын
Accepting money from parentals always comes with attachments and expectations! My hubby and I have not accepted anything from the parents for many, many years, and I hope their legacy is buried with them or spent before they die!
@jimroscovius 3 жыл бұрын
My parents have given us some money so that we could have it before they passed. We told them how we used it. There were no strings whatsoever. Some parents just want control.
@pamwalker6284 3 жыл бұрын
Not always. Sometimes, but not always....there were no strings attached with my children. I don't care what they do with the money we gave them. It's THEIR money now....
@jvolstad 3 жыл бұрын
My Mom financially bailed out my brother, both before and after he got married. You wouldn't believe the problems that caused!
@family-peace-love 3 жыл бұрын
This happened to me and my husband from my family.
@Chris-dr4bl 3 жыл бұрын
Whether they take it or not, the Mother is going to get defensive and be upset/mad.
@NaNa-lt1po 3 жыл бұрын
Not everything needs to be talked-about. Somethings are just best left on its own. Just say, thanks, but no thanks;even if it means it takes a year more to get there...
@LetsTalkPersonalFinance 3 жыл бұрын
Don't take the Money! Don't do it, it will save you a lot of headaches
@davidhochstetler4068 3 жыл бұрын
Can’t believe how many times this situation gets called in. I can’t believe how much this much happen
@kenshinhimura2322 3 жыл бұрын
Look at it this way. When they’re dead. What you do with the money can’t be contested.
@TeKnoVKNG23 3 жыл бұрын
Don't take the money, they've already shown a track record of acting like children with the wedding. This is simply an attempt to exert control over your choice and relationship. You don't need their money. Boundaries are not going to work with parents like this.
@jimroscovius 3 жыл бұрын
Why is it always the spouse calling about the in-laws? Why didn't he call?
@LisaLisaCJ 3 жыл бұрын
Usually the child doesn’t have an issue like the spouse does.
@rachel6ix 3 жыл бұрын
Girl.. NO.
@allthingsinvestingandfinance 3 жыл бұрын
This is why I’m proud my parents never handed me anything. I’ve worked for everything I’ve attained and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
@jjtmmjjmm2113 3 жыл бұрын
I’m fairly young but If there’s one thing I’ve learned when it comes to family I will give them money but I won’t loan, especially with any strings attached. Your asking for a heartbreak.
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
I very very smart way to go...
@LisaLisaCJ 3 жыл бұрын
I remember when I first got married my mother in law who was a realtor helped us look for a temporary rental. She picked out one right next door to them. My husband at the time although he was annoyed went with moms choice. Man or man... drop ins, watching our coming and goings etc. We declined all help after that
@maikadokusan3 3 жыл бұрын
I hope your safe and healthy Dave! Thank you for everything you have done for me and my family...
@brianparent4882 3 жыл бұрын
Keep saving and graciously turn down the offer.
@JadeTrading 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing!
@financialfraternity 3 жыл бұрын
Sometimes I wish I had enablers as parents my life would be like water. Following the path of least resistance.. then I remember I would be weak willed if that was the case and I end up being grateful for the ladder
@mochopz 3 жыл бұрын
Wish I had this problem. My parents just give me more debt
@erkfx4154 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t put yourself through that stress again! It will feel soooo nice to be able to do it on your own and not have to feel like you need to answer to anyone!
@gb.510 3 жыл бұрын
Just noticed Rachel's a lefty! left handed is the best handed!
@TheDecoCottage 3 жыл бұрын
This is why my husband and I don’t accept large gifts of money if there are strings attached or the giver has a history of holding it over the recipients head.
@Talkinglife 3 жыл бұрын
Nice and interesting video
@profitmix441 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t take it and move to a different state.
@armyretguy7365 3 жыл бұрын
I’d turn it down. IF you decide to probe the issue, the husband needs to tell his mom, “I have to be able to choose MY home without critique because I have to live there for the foreseeable future. I don’t want a place that might make you happy, but I end up being miserable.” Honestly, I’d just gut it out. My Dad is...... VERY well off. If he offered my inheritance today I’d turn it down. There’s a certain level of pride that comes with the large things that YOU pay for YOURSELF. You’ll never be a happier home owner than you will when you accomplish the goal all on your own. It’s like when you bought your first car that you personally payed for. I’ll bet most people were on cloud 9 that day, I sure was!
@crystalhull1677 3 жыл бұрын
Just say no. There will be strings attached. I can imagine her getting a key and coming on whenever because you wouldn't have the house if it weren't for her. Oh boy. No no no
@KratosPT 3 жыл бұрын
This channel inspired me a lot! This is perfect for my next VIDS😉
@ChrisMFlorida 3 жыл бұрын
I try to teach this on my channel too 👍🔥💰
@alexc5369 3 жыл бұрын
I think what you mean to say was " this channel's comment section is a perfect platform to advertise and promote my own channel"
@PsychicMedium777-uw4mm 3 жыл бұрын
This is what "toxic" parents do! She's doing "it" basically to control you and your husband. Basically, it's one BIG guilt trip! Trust me, you will NEVER hear The End of it! Which leads them to "owning" you and husband! Don't do "it", girl! Move on! Say, THANKS, but... No THANKS! 🤨
@barbararepko4824 3 жыл бұрын
BEST BUY Exactly. It’s always about control.
@ransom182 3 жыл бұрын
Say" NO thank you!"
@americanmade36merica99 3 жыл бұрын
Thanksgiving dinner, is going to taste sooooo much better. Take the money once them turkey's pass on.
@janhatcher6991 2 ай бұрын
Rachel, I agree with you I would tell them no thank you we're doing just fine. We don't need the money right now. Just put it nicely, but I am with you.
@flisfinance5680 3 жыл бұрын
Hmmm just grid and save what you need!!!
@Theprofessor1212 3 жыл бұрын
Where can we watch the full episodes ?
@ElainesDomain 3 жыл бұрын
I tell my parents to spend my inheritance. I'll muddle through just fine without it.
@alexc5369 3 жыл бұрын
That's a bit irresponsible.
@SynterraSteen 3 жыл бұрын
Alex Campili just robbing your future self of free money
@shaloon64 3 жыл бұрын
I mean unless they need your inheritance to live a comfortable life sure, turn it down. But why willingly tell them to spend money that was meant for you if they don't have to spend it?
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
Haha-same here. I'd prefer my parents enjoy their retirement rather than try to use money to buy their way into my life....
@ElainesDomain 3 жыл бұрын
@@shaloon64 They are fine. So am I. Ramsey would call us everyday millionaires.
@Longjohnsilver58 3 жыл бұрын
Boundaries? This is not about money. This is about control and manipulation. People like this are not going to respect boundaries. If you don’t take it, be prepared to be written out of the will. Or at lease this will be threatened. Ignore it and move on. You will be so much happier in the long run.
@dr.bassmab552 3 жыл бұрын
They need to really think carefully.. in addition to all the advices.. How was the parents acting throughout raising the son ?.. if they were the kind of parents who always reminding you that we gave u money..we helped u .. we .. we .. then don’t. Because It will never stop .. they might say oh yeah take the money and we wouldn’t interfere in ur decision we support you ( all lies) .. it is hard to change a behavior (from an experience)
@marjoriebaut7981 3 жыл бұрын
I for sure would take it but just as Dave says talk to them and make it super clear
@jill9606 3 жыл бұрын
I knew when I read the title that there would be strings attached. No, thank you! That’s manipulative and not a blessing when they dangle a monetary gift in front of you but they want to dictate how it’s going to be used. Save now and if they still have money when they die, maybe you’ll be in their will and will end up with some money from them anyway🤷🏻♀️
@9liveslisa 3 жыл бұрын
Never a borrower or lender be..............and that goes double with parents!
@9liveslisa 3 жыл бұрын
@Big Bubba .....I didn't. lol
@umairahmad4711 3 жыл бұрын
Love my parents but I’ll never accept their money because it feels really immoral in my believes.
@AlexT2048 3 жыл бұрын
Give your parents money rather than taking from them. Shame on kids that take money from their parents.
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
So do you support your parents financially?
@pic376 3 жыл бұрын
I would just walk away. The headaches are not worth it. If nothing else, I love my independence and I hate have to deal with stupidity. There may be underlying issues going on.
@notfunny5013 3 жыл бұрын
Take the money. Everything after that is a 'my bad' moment if they don't like your choices.
@TheForresterOD 3 жыл бұрын
This is narcissistic gift giving. It's insidious and meant to gain access and, ultimately, control over your decisions. As someone who's gone through this to extremely damaging effect, my honest opinion is *Do NOT take the gift.* It'll be unpleasant initially, but things will be so much better in the long run.
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
Haha-I know exactly what you mean. I made this mistake early on in life too of not realizing the consequences when my dad bought me a new car after graduation. He never transferred the title to my name, insisted on having access at will to the vehicle, and bragged to everyone within a 100 mile radius that he had bought the car for me-lol-won't make that mistake again...
@rhondawiggins5728 3 жыл бұрын
Do NOT take their money!! This woman wanted to pick the flowers she wanted at your wedding. She has already shown you who she is. I don’t care what she promises people don’t change that quickly. At least you can keep your dignity. I’m an old lady believe me you can always make money
@jbtpa895 3 жыл бұрын
My daughter's FIL offered house money,as long as her name wasn't on the house. A polite no thank you. This was his excuse for not contributing to the wedding, I'm giving a house down payment!
@koreanplayboy 3 жыл бұрын
There’s no such thing as a free lunch.
@mmc9828 3 жыл бұрын
We told our son and his bride that we would pay for the rehearsal dinner, flowers, reception location, the gift opening brunch the next day and a cruise for their honeymoon. She picked out everything but I just wrote the checks for it.
@stefanossmitty3318 3 жыл бұрын
A “gift opening brunch?” All of a sudden I wanna get married. Oh, wait...never mind.
@mmc9828 3 жыл бұрын
@@stefanossmitty3318 LOL!!
@kevinclark1482 3 жыл бұрын
Regardless of the advice given, the real decider is going to be based on HOW MUCH his parents are offering? $125k offering of HALF DOWN available to them NOW; “they taking that money!”
@ikotsus2448 3 жыл бұрын
I see low and middle class people more often feeling guilty to get help from their parents, putting themselves in a disadvantage. On the other hand rich people invest in their family's future aggressively. Money, name, connections all used to the maximum extent. More factors are at play her but still...
@ikotsus2448 3 жыл бұрын
@Anne Day I agree with what you are saying. I also agree with the hosts of the show that an honest discussion beforehand should be enough. If their parents want to act weird later on it shouldn't be so difficult for grown people to put them in their place. Anyway the fact that they have set aside this money for them even as inheritance instead of spending it is leverage enough to act crazy if that is their thing. So I believe it is better to take the money but become prepared to assist them financially in the future if a crisis arises.
@taurinenrgy 3 жыл бұрын
Take the money. Worst case they will live until 100. 😂
@kathryncashner3294 4 ай бұрын
General rule--each partner must deal with his/her own parents and rest of that side of the family. Secondly, I don't think they can or will just give you money; they will want to be involved. Just say "No, thank you."
@marlenerodriguez1221 3 жыл бұрын
Don’t take the money!
@ENCwwe 3 жыл бұрын
Ask if there are any conditions attacked to this money. If they say no you can always go back to that conversation. I don’t think I’d do it though given the history.
@danimeret 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah I would wait it out if they’re not willing to respect your boundaries/still want to police you both on how (“their”- because clearly they don’t see it as “your”) money is being spent...
@QueenASMR2019 3 жыл бұрын
Previous history has already shown how they use money to control your family. If you take the funds for the house, get ready for round #2. Protect your peace always. Continue saving and leave the inlaws out.
@123hibye 3 жыл бұрын
I really enjoy your content, can’t wait for more! U inspired me to make my own channel about stocks, business, finance, real estate and more! I’m 13 with about $1700 in stocks
@alexc5369 3 жыл бұрын
Nice promo👌
@123hibye 3 жыл бұрын
Alex Campili thanks
@kelsambaho 3 жыл бұрын
👍
@123hibye 3 жыл бұрын
@@kelsambaho thanks
@evalina98000 3 жыл бұрын
...Guest bedroom... think she nailed it fo mom's expectations fo kokua wit hale 😎
@tymom9313 3 жыл бұрын
Almost 9,000 views in 4 hour's 👏👏👏
@Brunes1836 3 жыл бұрын
I’d take it then some and simply ignore any demands that they might have. Buy it outright
@arrozinc7 3 жыл бұрын
Accept their money, if you want to be told that the house must have a guest room they can use so they can visit you whenever they want & stay as long as they want when they do visit. Spoiler alert: Guest room must be next to the nursery and have a connecting door (perhaps a shared bathroom joining the two rooms would be nice?)
@grappler240 3 жыл бұрын
Dang... I am SO fortunate to have the in-laws that I do.
@glorymanheretosleep 3 жыл бұрын
Take the money, no buts! First!
@taylorferreira2041 3 жыл бұрын
Control aspect
@nicolereeves2889 3 жыл бұрын
Maybe all of them should go look at houses together... Maybe it can bridge something.
@Takar100 3 жыл бұрын
I don't even let my parents or in laws pay for lunch.
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
I knew a family like that makes these guys look mild in comparison. The father basically financed everything in his daughter's and son-in-law's life from her house, car, and childcare and since he was super rich-they lived very well. He even paid for a fancy honeymoon trip around the world for them; however, the catch was that he got to accompany them and pick out all the sights, locations, restaurants during that trip (though hopefully he had a separate hotel room from them-lol)
@shutupandeatasmr4498 3 жыл бұрын
Never understood how some families don’t talk about conflict or confrontation and just sweep it under and pretend like it never happened. Maybe cultural differences but in my family if there is a problem, we all address it no matter what.
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
That's b/c you have a functional family. In my family-we never talk about anything until we're ready to stab each other-lol
@SnookOnTheFly 3 жыл бұрын
Sounds like my father in law.
@illmatic33 3 жыл бұрын
The Russian bots have migrated from IG to here 🤣
@stacyh1223 3 жыл бұрын
Don't do it!!!!
@tymom9313 3 жыл бұрын
Don't take any money!!
@random-nz7dy 3 жыл бұрын
In my opinion this just is not worth it. These people have done great financially and are almost on baby step 4. It's not worth ruining the family relationships for the rest of your life because you took $50,000 from then and then they demanded things. And my guess is if he sits down with them they're going to say "no that wont happen!!" And that will BS. Because two or three months later they're going to be at dinner at Thanksgiving and a snide comment is going to be made about the house and the fact that they gave the money.
@leathelandlady 3 жыл бұрын
Don't do it. You'll regret it.
@hestiaa9354 3 жыл бұрын
Yep. Your husband is going to have to deal with this if you take the money. If this comes with strings attached, don’t do it. You’re doing fine on your own.
@lefredeburgh 3 жыл бұрын
There's no point in talking to the parents. Their word won't be worth anything. Keep your freedom. Choose your marriage and your dignity. The money is not a "gift." It's not free.
@lights80088 3 жыл бұрын
Money with strings attached the first time. Money with bull rope attached the second time. Never let people have this power over you.
@alexwyler4570 3 жыл бұрын
Can the parents afford to give them the money really? Most older people about to retire are not like David Ramsey, they think they can give the money- they want to help out so much- but they end up needing the money they gave a healthy young man. just a financial mess waiting to happen. i did not hear the lady saying: "my inlaws are super-rich"...
@maureen8745 3 жыл бұрын
Unless you want to be neighbors forego the help
@baywest 3 жыл бұрын
The fact that the parents already have the stipulation of "either take the money now or after I die" is proof enough that the parents have ulterior motives. Why is there a stipulation about that in the first place?
@baywest 3 жыл бұрын
@Big Bubba if they ment it like that it would be a totally different story. But I really don't think they did mean it like that. This couple hasn't even found a house yet but the parents are so adamant about giving a random amount of money immediately when there should be no rush.
@baywest 3 жыл бұрын
@Big Bubba I really hope you're right man.
@chrisdee1077 3 жыл бұрын
Listen if you give me money it's as good as gone. That's goes for anybody.
@joshmatthew4125 3 жыл бұрын
Dont do it.
@michaelb.8953 3 жыл бұрын
Run from the money gift!! Either take a look at just a little less of a house knowing it's not going to be your forever home to buy now or take some more time and bite the bullet and save a little more before you pull the house buying trigger. I wouldn't take my chances with the in laws as money can make some people do strange things, besides a lot can be said doing it completely on your own as a married couple working together. Marriage is about separating from your parents and working together as a team as you don't need the in laws in there dabbling in your private affairs.
@christ186 3 жыл бұрын
Daves face
@Big-Government-Is-The-Problem 3 жыл бұрын
take the money and tell them to go kick rocks if they dont like the house you buy... im not turning down a free 250k just because of the possability that it will cause minor arguments with family.
@stevenm732 3 жыл бұрын
Not really a gift if there’s strings attached. If it was me I wouldn’t take the money given the history.
@Elizabeth-yg2mg 3 жыл бұрын
Nothing will change; talking about communication is a cliche. If they can get by without the parents' money they should.
@MordDorr 3 жыл бұрын
Girlfriend and I have 130k down payment and can't find a place where we live...
@juliareadscottishpiperandh4861 3 жыл бұрын
If you've not been able to talk about/laugh off the wedding incident then there's something there that is going to cause problems going forward. Gut feel, don't take the money, and don't make a big deal about it. Don't even reply when the topic comes up, or just brush it off with a laugh. They should be able to accept that without making a thing out of it, if they make a thing out of needing a reply from you, then be glad that you never took the money.
@mattatron3152 3 жыл бұрын
Yep-as Dave said-if it's a 50/50 decision-then probably don't take the money. With some people this kind of thing can work-but others it turns disastrous-lol...
@nice2you164 3 жыл бұрын
Don't take the parents money =no headache
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