I KNOW RIGHT.... like, look Courtnayy, I know you think having ADHD is a quirky thing that makes you unique because you walk into a room and forget what you were doing but this shit has been actively debilitating my life since I can remember like..... it isnt a cute thing lmfao

I brushed a therapist off five years ago when she mentioned I probably have ADHD, and it’s not until now, I’m my mid-20s, that I’ve realised how much damage it’s caused to my relationships and the people I care about let alone myself

Yeah ADHD is bit more than being "quirky". Like, come on bro I'm suffering from executive dysfunction and my brain is constantly foggy can you stop trying to make everyone think that you have ADHD by acting silly on the internet.

I don't know that these people are doing that purposefully. I also don't know what ADHD has to ruin your life before it can be considered valid.

@@ShazyShaze Ah, very good point. We pretty much dig ourselves a hole by trying to qualify suffering.

thank you for this. I for one barely ever use suicidal language, aside from jokes of course, but I really do understand why so many of my peers feel that way. We've been dealt a bad hand. We're suffering because of things we didn't even do. I'm not even sure if most of us live to 40, lol. I hate that gen z being "soft" is a thing that older people believe. Just because we know how to express our feelings?????? It's tough, and I know their dealing with their own shit too. But I'm sick of hearing old people talk about how their times were "better" than ours, just because they can't use slurs or be openly homophobic anymore lmao

Exactly.

@@purpleenthusiast5814 Or because their tuition was cheap, rent wasnt sky high, and minimum wage compared to cost of living was actually respectable, at least before our generation. Now all 18-25 year olds are getting raw dogged up the poop chute from college debts, expensive housing, bad employers and insufficient wages. Among other things

@@purpleenthusiast5814 yeah... but then again, that's what older people tend to do since forever, right? Reminisce about the past, complain about the present and say the future is doomed because of said present and its newer generations. We just gotta try to not do the same when we're old ig. We'll get used to live a certain way now, only to be told that we were doing it wrong by people who are younger than us. And humans just generally have a hard time admitting their faults, especially to younger humans.

@@laurinha2892 true, but it's been happening for so fucking long you'd think they'd stop by now. It sucks.

Dude that's me down to a T, even the weird pride I take in only getting stuff done at the last minute, even though the work I submit could have been better. So I've got to ask, what do you do now, post-diagnosis, to either kick-start the fear sooner so you have more time or have you found a way to work without self-induced time pressure?

@@benjo270 I find my meds help a huge amount tbh. They're not fool proof, but I find I procrastinate a lot less. Getting started is just a whole lot easier. For that reason I don't try and make big steps when they're wearing off. I take meds when my husband gets up, about 40 mins before I need to get up, so they're in my system by the time I need to function. Similarly, if you don't want to use meds, I find exercise really gives me a window of clarity where "getting started" is a good idea.

@@benjo270 I've given your question more thought around the fear. It's still there at a low level sometimes. But to a large extent I think it's better not to hold on to that image of yourself only suceeding if high anxiety is in place. Some days my meds aren't as effective as others (I'm a woman and I find my cycle alters it, for example). Other times I misdirect the energy and have got going on the wrong thing. But if on average I manage to get started on a relevant task most days then I dont need the 'hyperfocus', because I'm never behind enough to feel that much pressure. I was so proud of that skill to pull me through in hard times, I really romanticised that aspect of me. But if you're tackling things at a steady pace, you dont need to be running like the clappers. You can just keep the engine ticking over nicely.

Yesssss

I was hoping someone said this. But yes, hacking the self-motivation through near-deadline adrenaline was always a key tool for me especially during student times. It's still the first "plan" I think of regarding for example doing my taxes or something, although I've been trying to learn better.

Its like cycling while everyone else is driving a fucking jet engine. And you don't eat enough protien and you don't even gain muscles. And you tend to be too loud and yell at the jet engine guy for doing what is right in their eyes and..then all the jet engine guys laugh- We should stop here

Another good one is that our brains are Ferraris with bicycle brakes. The faster the car, the more powerful the brakes need to be, or we lose control and can't steer ourselves where we need to go or stay in our lane easily. I explained it to my kid the other day that in other ways, it's like Lightning McQueen on the track versus trying to figure out how to turn on dirt or get going on sand for the first time; some days, things just go so smoothly, while others, we're just not getting the kind of traction we need, and end up spinning out, despite normally doing really well, which leads to frustration, etc.

@@Ave-S that analogy suggest adhd doesnt have the same "power" as others. The issue isn't like comparing 2 modes of transport. It's like comparing the SAME mode of transport, but the STEERING is faulty on one. Our ability to focus is just as good if not better than others. Our ability to PAY ATTENTION (choose what to focus on) is faulty.

someone once told me that autism is like being on stage without a script and adhd is like having a script but not knowing any of your ques so you don't know when to say your lines.

I compare it to an eternal storm. (tornado-ish...). It is chaotic and does whatever it wants. Sometimes it calms down, but it never stops. If it's very calm, you can gently guide it/manouver yourself through it, but if it decides to flare up, you shouldn't try to control it, since that will only make it worse and harder to manouver (through). If it's bad, the best idea (at least in my case) is to just try to go through your day and let it do its thing and try again the next day, doing what you can comfortably do without disturbing it.

Hahaha I did this in high school.. I figured out that if I kept eye contact they almost never call on you because they love calling on people who look like they’re disengaged

@@bhopirl4552 Also, sit in the front row and you will never be called on. Worked pretty much every single time for me.

@@adronius147 yeah lol my school had assigned seats tho so I didn’t do that

I had no idea I was doing that until after I finished school. I would "pay attention" in class and then have to ask a friend or teach myself the lesson later that day.

I have the same problem! This even happens in conversations with friends and family sometimes. My dad and I had a difficult relationship when I was growing up because it seemed like I purposefully tuned him out, but really I would just temporarily lose focus and then suddenly the rest of his speech wouldn't make sense and I was too embarrassed to admit it.

They're growing up so fast.

TOO FUNNY! OUR LITTLE ALOK IS GROWING UP SO FAST!

I miss when he was a boomer

@@JinroTheCorpse since when ?

Editing ur comment to thank for likes is cringe

I agree, I don't see it as a thing of distress. I interpreted it as a sort of "jumping to conclusions" for a sensation you haven't experienced. For example, I frequently experience pain in the muscles of my right shoulder that feels like a sort of dull, achy tightness. I always find myself thinking how if someone was able to just pry and pop my scapula out, the muscle tightness would be relieved. I'm well aware that in reality, it would be incredibly painful to dislocate my scapula and would not remotely offer the resolve I crave. However, it doesn't change the fact that I still think about how relieving it would be to have someone pry my scapula out. I think it's that it's this subconscious jumping to a conclusion that it must be just like cracking the joints in my knuckles or back, only better. I feel like the idea of "running the brain under cold water" can be likened to the experience of washing your face or scalp with cold, running water. Practically, it wouldn't work out to wash your brain like that, we're all obviously aware of that fact. Still, the desire to do so remains due to associating it with how refreshing and calming it feels to gently cleanse your face and eyes with cool water. Sometimes your brain "feels tired" after lots of thinking, just like your eyes "feel tired" after lots of reading or other visual input. I personally after a long day of work that requires heavy reading or looking at screens, washing my face and cool water on my eyelids helps me feel better. Naturally, it's not a far jump to "rinsing off my brain". Even though logically it wouldn't work, these ideas are the result of making an "educated" guess. It's a sensation I've never experienced, so these are the closest things I can relate it to. And because I've never experienced it, you build up expectations that it must be like these things I have experienced, but better. It sort of makes me think of food advertisements in a way? Picture a television advert where they pour glistening syrup on a stack of pancakes, and top it off with a fluffy dollop of whipped cream. Even though you know the food advert uses motor oil and shaving cream in place of real food items to sell the illusion, the imagery presented to you of a stack of pancakes makes them seem enticing. In reality, if you ate those specific pancakes, they would be absolutely horrendous.

Can you explain it in English so us humans can understand? Like what do you mean ”forcing my brain to do things it doesn’t want to”

@@generalmikalie2739 Everything. For context, I work an office job, so everything from paying attention in meetings, starting tasks, staying on task, remembering what I was about to do when I switch to a new window and forget why, ignoring more interesting (to me) ideas/thoughts that pop up because no brain this isn't the right time to mull over that movie I saw last week so please come back to this email that I need to read.

@@generalmikalie2739 Sorry, can you explain that in English so us humans can understand? Like what do you mean "so us humans can understand"

for me it's trying to get the feeling of cold water on the face, or drinking water at 3am, that feeling but directly on the brain would be great to calm down my stress levels

YES it is SO frustrating to see autism reduced to a few single symptoms that don't scratch the surface of what autism is really like. People can stim or dislike sensory input without being autistic. Sometimes I can't speak. I had to memorize the steps to simple tasks (like eating food: walk into the kitchen, face the pantry, grasp the door handle, open the door, locate a box of cereal, etc....). I had to be taught how to nod my head for "yes" and shake it for "no" and in high school I had to memorize a bunch of idioms and take a test on them so that I wouldn't keep taking phrases like "hit the road" literally. I went years without having friends and I struggled on the internet throughout my teenage years because everyone thought I was a troll. Autism is about much more than just a few stereotyped stims and sensory aversions, and these tiktok trends cause real harm, both to autistic people and non-autistic people who get confused by these

They reduce it to: stims (rhythmical, to music), special interests and sensory overload. But anyone can go through that.

@@ancient_bam It's always "but you seem so normal" when I tell my peers about being autistic and then I'm like "yeah its totally normal to not be able to drive, not be able to ride a bike, didn't walk until 18 months, permanent tendon damage from toe walking, learning disability, needed help bathing until I was 8"

ayyy another autistic who can’t drive! definitely agree with this. stimming is fun …until the person doing it isn’t an early-20s feminine person with makeup and a nice outfit on. Different communication styles are valid …until it’s “whoops i said something HORRIBLY blunt on accident” instead of “i talk a lot about my interests!”. Sensory issues are “cute” when you wear headphones in public, but i’m “causing problems on purpose” when i can’t drive a car. That’s not to mention my genuine mental impairments, which of course I haven’t seen on tik tok because they can’t be infantilized or aestheticized. I struggle to make a doctors’ appointment, handle money, cook a meal, send an email, and many more tasks which would come naturally to others, because I’m missing a certain practical intuition that non-autistics would have. Try and make that into an “🌸✨🌿uwu autism🌿✨🌸” tik tok video - you can’t. So no one talks about it.

This trend has been bothering me so much! It's disheartening to see so many people take one or two experiences they've had (sensory issues, low-profile stims, etc.) and say "It's autism! I'm autistic!" Autism is more than "being a little quirky" it can be intense not only emotionally, but socially and physically. Meltdowns, stims, masking, social interactions, sensory overload... There's so much more to it and seeing so many people grossly misrepresent it irritates me to no end.

"Trendy" social media definitely is not the place to go for good info, you're right about that. But there are some people on YT sharing their experiences with Autism if you ever want to explore. It helped me learn what was going on. One thing is to read on a list saying for example "social struggles", another is to hear how those social struggles may present. I never understood my social issues and couldn't place it until I heard others with Autism talk about their experiences. I just never connected with anyone and always felt so outside, like I was around a completely different species I didn't know how to interact with. But I couldn't point to what the issue was, I wasn't anxious, didn't doubt myself, didn't have emotional problems. It was so amazing to find out that it's very common for Autistics to feel like an alien as our minds just work a bit differently. It's not a way to self diagnose, but it can be so very helpful to hear other's experiences. I'd recommend the channel Aspergers From the Inside. Pure info, no entertainment.

I am diagnosed and all the content i got was ASD content and i had to get rid of the app.

Its because its ai based algorithms, so one of the types with the most clicks seems to be people memeing about a condition. Whether they have it, or understand the nuance to convey it, is not important for the algorithm however.

Same less the tiktok part The moment I knew about that hole I decided I didn't want to touch it

@@jessapi6328 what

Damn. tumblr

yep i know how you feel. im 20 now, but back when i was around 12, i was on tumblr in those days. they had this term. 'spoonies', for hypochondriacs who think they have 100 mental disorders. its weird seeing a lot of the shit they said about eating disorder/depression/selfharm etc. is now being recycled but with adhd. I myself have been diagnosed with Major Depression and Social Anxiety. i also cringe when i see kids 'roleplaying a disorder that ruined my life', as you so eloquently put it. also like you, i can't blame them for being misinformed and acting like dumb kids. i did stupid shit when i was their age too.

@@redmoonrise6507 I don't know if the term was used that way in certain groups, but that's not what "spoonies" means. "Spoonie" refers to someone who has a chronic disability which limits their energy, i.e. "spoons". The idea is that everyone has spoons (energy) which they can allocate throughout the day. A spoonie has fewer spoons to use and has more factors which can decrease their available spoons or require more spoons for a simple activity. "Spoonie" is a common shorthand to refer to this analogy.

I feel you in a way. After the depression tumbler phase died down and glow ups became the thing I got diagnosed with actual depression and realized that people don't actually feel shit and suicidal all the time 🤡 not to mention the amount of times people think I exaggerate certain things because everyone else always exaggerates

I had that irritation when people on tumblr glamorized depression, but I also felt less alone. Both are annoying though, and dangerously misinforming. I’ve become so confused about adhd and anxiety because of them.

Ah yes. I have the GAD that masks the ADHD. I feel you. I’m not late as a rule cause I’m too busy getting to work early to make up for the procrastination. And people see me as dedicated. Ha! Hanging by a thread over here, guys.

@@azlizzie It really does take up your whole life ngl, it feels like I have no space for anything else left after all this masking and stress haha

damn yeah, same situation here.

@@DeMafiaGirl Good for you, now move on. You don't know what true suffering is like, so don't even act like you have it hard. I WISH I only had ADHD

@@chobai9996 Excuse me what... Do you want my adhd mate? Cause I'll gladly give it to you. Here you fucking go bro good luck see how long your neurotypical mind will survive this madness

This is me!!!! Finally diagnosed this year. It’s been like a lightbulb.

That used to work for me but then I developed depression and stopped caring. It sucks.

@@nursebridgie right! And so many other things just made sense. Like emotion dysregulation.

@@ninjycoon yes! Huge yes! This is what lead to my diagnosis. Like putting myself in mental and physical distress to get this done doesn’t seem like a healthy, especially after talking to many people and finding out that most people don’t do this. Another reason why talking about mental health is so important. There are so many poor soul out there who are struggling with something that is not their fault and can get a treatment but they think they are just lazy or sensitive or weak. That if most people can do it then why can’t they. Honestly this is what I thought most of the time, that I am just too stupid.

@@astrodragons What's really frustrating is that they totally can do it but they have roadblocks in their way and everyone including themselves are gaslighting them into believing they aren't real. It's so sad. There's also so many people who either don't believe in mental health issues or don't understand it enough so they ridicule and abuse those who are dealing with them. Not even necessarily on purpose. It's all a mess. In America at least, I think one of if not the biggest problem we have is a lack of care and initiative for mental health. It's just so fundamental to every person yet it's not at the top of the list of concerns.

You sound pretty smart

And funny

Someone can’t even say ur funny or smart without you rejecting them? That might be a personal issue.. projecting low self worth it sounds like to me

Yep, it was pretty smart

You sound pretty good looking o:

For sure! It's really not healthy. I'm 30 and when I was around 17-20 I was part of online text-based roleplaying. Every young person was creating characters with all kinds of mental issues like it made them "cool and unique". I feel like I looked away from a moment, now it's 10 years after and that behaviour has completely escalated with the use of social media. Now it's not just their characters, but themselves. It's another topic but it seems it's the same with the LGBT community. The more "unique" you can become by having a mental illness, being trans and gay, the more of a valuable person you are. I see kids/young adults on social media with huge followings just because of the buzzwords they use to describe themselves. It's not about the content, but the person being put on pedestal for all their "uniqueness". This is not ending well.

Sometimes I wish my mind would just be quiet for at least 5 minutes and I wish my brain doesn't feel like its in pieces, I wish I wasn't so impulsive and more prone to addiction and depression. I'm like so quirky- squirrel

Could it be that all of you are just in a bubble? The real life numbers dont really support your claims.

@@suides4810 I think they are saying that social media and the internet is a bubble, and don't reflect real life.

I feel like people who want a mental illness probably do have something wrong.

Facts I've been diagnosed with ADHD since elementary school and yea I do have "Look a Squirrel" moments but when they do happen I feel like I'm having a stroke. And the portrayal of ADHD on tiktok is so misleading or just wrong.

@@broomhilda8041 LMAOOO

I really thoufgt it said the rapist

I went through the same shit like 7 years ago just switch tik tok for tumblr and insta. Couldve been diagnosed and getting real help years earlier

Fr tiktokers think we're the dogs from Up

Isn't executive function disorder it's own thing though? So there's a distance somewhere right?

@@eonstar as far as I know, "executive function disorder" is not a DSM-V diagnosis. Your executive function not working right can be part of a number of diagnoses (which is part of why it took me an age to consider the possibility of my, now diagnosed, ADHD). However, the ADHD diagnostic criteria is predominantly about the executive dysfunction, and not for example mood issues. That said, outside of the DSM-V criteria it's well established that we have extremely poor emotional regulation. It also feels impossible to meet someone with ADHD who won't have a second diagnosis of anxiety or depression. Both of these come with executive function problems, which is why diagnosis can be very difficult. It's also why so much of the diagnostic focus in adults is on early life, since ADHD shows up even in little ones.

Idk I don't think having ADHD and "spending tons of time researching it" qualifies you to make an accurate assessment of what ADHD is or isn't and what the DSM should or shouldn't be

@@user-wc5nc2ud5m to be fair, the most prominent academics in this field are openly critical of the DSM-V, particularly in diagnosing older patients, and women and girls. Not that it has no value, but it is missing some key components of ADHD that clinicians see repeatedly. You don't have to do your own research to see that it has drawbacks, you can instead do a literature review and see the consensus. Dr Russell Barkley I think is the best at layi g out its drawbacks.

@@user-wc5nc2ud5m TL:WR (Too Long:Won't Read) I do have a lot of experience and I do lots of, in my opinion, quality research on the topic. Not having a degree or certifications doesn't necessarily invalidate my opinions or statements. If you don't want to take my word for it, which I think is actually a good thing, please verify my claims yourself. In fact, I might even get some things wrong and would be glad to be corrected. ----------------------------- Perhaps. It's totally fair to question my lack of official qualifications. Those things don't necessarily qualify me, true but they are the best I got. I can go into more detail to further validate my "credentials" but I think the best way to verify someone's takes is to do it yourself. There are plenty of people who have all these degrees and experience in "the field" of different subjects but still get things wrong so I'm an advocate of doing your own due diligence and using multiple resources to verify information. I got diagnosed in elementary school and I'm 25 now so I've been aware of the condition for most of my life. My family never did much to learn about it and even though the schools were meant to make accommodations for me they often failed. I had to meet with a person who assessed my issues and then made a plan for me. I remember her making a lot of assumptions about me and even saying something along the lines of, "Oh, sounds like he'd do better if he worked harder." I didn't feel that she really understood where I was coming from so even the people who were meant to be my advocates didn't understand me. Anyways, I get official paperwork laying out my accommodations. I go to school and I'm not getting any of my accommodations. Turns out they misplaced my paperwork and even after they found it I still had to go to my teachers to let them know about it. Next year, the same thing. None of my teachers had a clue. For one reason or another my teachers weren't being made aware of my needs so I had to become an advocate for myself. Which meant telling my teachers directly about my problems and hoping they'd care. Not all of them did. To be fair I didn't tell some but I was a kid and It was always teachers that I didn't trust because I didn't want to be told I was just lying and being lazy. I got plenty of that from my parents. When I say I've done a ton of research I mean it. I don't just read ADDitude magazine. I actually read research papers on this stuff. When I married my wife, I even used her college account to access papers that I'd normally have to pay for. I'm also an extremely introspective person. While other people are enjoying hobbies I'm lying or sitting somewhere just contemplating my thoughts and issues. That basically is my hobby. Lol. Not that it's necessarily a good thing. There are many many drawbacks. The amount of time I spend on this stuff can actually be debilitating sometimes.

I love your pfp and banner its so cute!

@@itzplant3196 aww thank you 🥺🥺

Delete social media.

Why

@@harcoom nice name

There was a period a few years ago where I started smoking weed every single day and eventually quit my shitty job. I was unemployed for almost a year, occasionally looking for a job but never really putting in the full effort because it made me super anxious. On top of that I didn’t want to do literally anything but smoke weed and every month that passed I got more and more anxious+depressed, and the first thought in my head upon waking up each day was that I wanted to die. Eventually I had a bit of a mental breakdown and got kicked out of my house. I started going to therapy immediately after that and realized that I didn’t really want to just throw my life away, I just wanted to be in a better situation. I feel like ever since I’ve at worst been keeping my head above the water and not just telling myself I want to die

@a proverbial lemon took me a long time to realize it tho ^^ but thanks. i think it's one of the most important thing i realized about it ... and that question quite literally saved my life^^

@@strongbadman2 totally understand... since then i also at worst kept my head above water... let's fight this shit and learn to control it before it's too late ! Good luck in your journey !

Same

Something I experienced recently changed my view on some things. I had a day where I'd been running on 3-4 hours of sleep if not less for a few days(and without 7-8 hours, I really can't operate well(i dont drink coffee)), day was gloomy and cold. I just couldn't be positive no matter what good happened in the day, it felt like a pit was opening up in my gut and eating away at me. On a walk to buy some groceries, my thoughts were going downhill and fast and I finally understood how one becomes suicidal on an emotional level instead of just logical. I could just tell that if the feeling persisted for a long time, perpetually declining, any hope in anything would just rapidly fade and I'd slowly lose any will to keep on living. I had an easy out, just some proper sleep for a few days to pick myself back up, but I could see that intense downward trajectory and I understand depression better now, I guess.

This was such a good way of describing them! They are brief but they can make you spiral into a state of distress as you try and navigate away from them. I'm very grateful for the reminder that my thoughts aren't what define me; it's very difficult living most of my life obsessing over those thoughts, so I'm always happy to have that reminder.

I've had this like most my life and never really got to realize what they were

I have intrusive thoughts a lot. It’s almost become my inner monologue. I kind of use them as an emotional barometer, like for example when Covid had just started, and there was so much drama and horrible stuff happening in the world, and my brain couldn’t really get a handle on it. My intrusive thoughts went from “what if I randomly yelled really loudly in public” to “what if someone in my family gets it, how many of us are gonna die?”. It went from some innocuous stuff to really quite heavy thoughts within a few weeks. That’s when I realised I needed to take a step back, or to try to change something in my life. They’re annoying, and occasionally very distressing, but they can, in a weird way, be useful.

Thank you so much! This helped me alot actually. I can never figure out whether I’m just being psycho, or whether I’m experiencing intrusive thoughts. I got the urge (or more tje thought) to rip my friend’s earring out the other day. Felt terrible

I've had one occasionally at school where the school has a staircase and I would randomly think "What would happen if I dropped my binder down the stairs from the top floor?"

The sky is full of stars, but it's the pattern that makes a constellation. What turns a checklist of potential symptoms into a diagnosis is the emerging pattern, frequency, and duration thereof. Everybody pees multiple times a day, but if you're peeing multiple times an hour, you should see a doctor about it. That being said, once you have a diagnosis, seeing those laundry lists of symptoms can help connect a lot of dots for you (like all those smaller stars that are part of constellations, but not normally shown in the illustrations) to help understand the different ways your disorder is affecting you, and thus give you more information on how to deal with them, or at the very least solve some mysteries about why you think and act the way that you do. One of the tricky things is figuring out which is the cart, and which is the horse; those lists can act as both for different people on different sides of the diagnosis, and I'm noticing that that nuance seems to be lost on a lot of people (especially those who haven't been on both sides themselves).

I dont know He often mixes anxiety related things into it.

But he is the most accurate most of the time

@@suides4810 I think that's because he's sharing from his own experience, it's hard to divide the symptoms of diff diagnoses completely cuz you're experiencing all of them. Especially since ADHD symptoms can breed anxiety and it's a very comorbid diagnosis. Just my interpretation though!

Personally I feel Connor is making it into too much entertainment rather than information. It's turning the symptoms into "funny little quirks" rather than something that can be completely debilitating. I don't follow him too but I don't see him even noting that "this is not funny and some people have it real bad". Not to mention that just being able to structure and film videos like that requires a quite high level of executive function. Not invalidating his experience but his symptoms are mild enough for him to be able to do what he does. I'm just sad no one is showing how it really is for some of us. But it has to be entertaining for anyone to listen.

@@sanz7820 Well he isn't a scientific disseminator he kind of make fun of the situations caused by ADHD so people can relate to him but I personally only have half of the stuff he usually mention. My life right is really screwed by debilitating symptoms but I prefer to have someone joking about a real problem and giving me a laugh that filling my internet consumption from only technical information. Your point is really valid but I think Connor has its place in the community.

Yes love this comment thank you

I didnt know this was the case since its often referred to as a diagnostic tool

@@suides4810 The ICD is a classification of all diseases. Chapter 5 is for psychiatry diseases. Its like Dr. K said about the DSM, insurances decide on that basis if they going to pay for your treatment or not. Content-wise they are very similar. Although the DSM 5 is a little more pleasant to read. DSM 5: (American Psychiatric Association) APA ICD 11: (World Health Organisation) WHO

It's the same way for me. ADHD isn't as much of the problem. When I was a kid, I could struggle through work, but get it done with a postive outlook, but as my mental health took a divebomb, everything got worse. It's less an ADHD problem. It's a mental health problem making the ADHD symptoms more severe.

Don't answer this if it's uncomfortable, but I'm curious about something. Do you think your parents made the correct decision in hiding ADHD from you? As an autistic man myself who grew up with a wonderful mother who raised me very well with all information on the table, I initially recoiled at reading your comment. But I wonder how you might think about it yourself.

@@meeszijlstra5426 It was a lie by accidental omission, because my twin and me were "developmentally delayed" so I knew I wasn't QUITE like everyone else without really knowing specifics; also, at the time people assumed ADHD was something you grew out of and that it "went away" in adulthood. Thus, they never told me once I became an adult because they thought I had "outgrown" it (I hadn't), but I never blamed them because they just did not know the full truth back then; the medical community didn't really know the full truth either. I was also thoroughly loved and supported throughout my life, though that didn't make me immune from suffering. I still struggled heavily, and I was certainly thrown for a loop when I found out I had ADHD; I was tongue-tied for at least a minute or two while all the dots connected! Learning about what it was and what it meant for my mental functioning became a weight on my heart that I had to overcome with time and patience. I honestly think that if I had that weight on me when I was younger that I would have struggled a lot more, because as a kid things like ADHD seem insurmountable and that you'll never be "normal". Thankfully, I wasn't bothered by being "different" because my family was very different among the other families in my hometown (we were members of the Baha'i Faith in a village full of devout Christians, who were devout Christians because missionaries had preached fire and brimstone if they didn't convert decades ago and the religion stuck around after that; as a result, our family kinda stood out like a sore thumb sometimes, but we were respected community members in spite of that obvious difference). What I learned to appreciate and thoroughly apply is that they taught me how to overcome the symptoms despite not telling me explicitly what I had; my Dad with his razor-sharp to-the-point mind put it best when he said "Ok, you have ADHD. Now what? What does that mean for your thesis? What does that mean for the decisions in your life? Do you do this or that "because ADHD", or do you do this or that because you gave into certain behaviors the ADHD leaves you vulnerable to? You still have things to do, so how do you do them despite having ADHD?" He pointed out that willpower is the ability to make a choice, and that free will is the freedom to choose your behavior for yourself. That reoriented my mind away from "ADHD is making me do this" to "I'm choosing to do this because my ADHD makes this easier instead of a harder but better way." This put the onus on me to make better choices and start training my brain away from its old patterns, and at least for me it worked. I know that if my parents had been told that I'd have ADHD my entire life, they would have told me and trained me accordingly. For the time, they did what they could according to the known science back then, and they thoroughly supported me as an adult when I did some therapy and tried some ADHD medication (I went off the medication eventually, because I treated it more as "training wheels" for the executive functioning-deprived section of my brain); once I was used to how I felt under the medication, I went off it and over time re-trained my brain to function in a similar way despite not having the medication forcing the increased functioning. That approach is not always a good idea, but my therapist and psychiatrist agreed to let me try it and it worked for me, and it put me on the path towards further personal growth. I'm working on my physical health now as well (I am unfortunately obese and diabetic), but I have made strides towards better health in that arena as well. Tl;dr: Maybe I'm "unique", but my parents' love and support carried me despite not knowing the full truth as a child. They taught me techniques and a mindset that gave me the chance to train and overcome my ADHD symptoms, and I am getting better every day because of my efforts and their training. I would have appreciated knowing when I was younger, but it worked out for me in the end.

@@boomkruncher325zzshred5 Thank you very much for the detailed answer! Catching it early and giving the extra needed attention to it in my early childhood has been a great help for me. I'm on the milder side of the spectrum, but I can now pass for neurotypical easily. People don't think I have autism unless I interact with them a lot, like friends/family I'm happy things turned out well for you despite the absence of knowledge about it during childhood, and thank you once again for sharing.

I feel like a good time to find out about adhd or autism is when someone is ready and willing to improve themselves independently. If you're just a kid and you find out, it will just be an additional worry while you're just trying to enjoy life

Love this for you!!!!!

F

Because social media built a long-standing importance on becoming relevant. It's all about chasing the trends.

So very sad indeed . They make it seem like a joke , something amusing to be proud of . A plus in someone's life .

Yeah that sucks. Not being able to recount your own childhood or having no one to tell you, should be even more evidence pointing to a disability.

This is just discrimination and should be called out, report them to the medical authorities to get redress

Yeah he interpreted the video then dissected that interpretation which just seemed weird, if you don't fully understand what the TikTok is about it may have been better to leave it out of the video tbh

Man I bet your meds had kicked in minutes before you wrote this post. I could never write that much lmao

@@italovidigal1990 Honestly it's easier to write long essays on passion topics when I'm not on medication personally, because I have to fully detail my thoughts so that it's unambiguously understood. This is especially true when I feel as if I'm "correcting misinformation". The dopamine from that is higher than most other things.

I’m someone who has ADHD and I just started in property management.

Damn bro, i don't deal with real estate but this definitely relates a bunch to my own work ethic. Thanks for the perspective ❤

Thanks for this! Going down a different path but never know when a pivot is necessary!

It's an old PUA script. I would know, I've even read one of their books.

It’s the “Implication”

Yes and it sucks i even “forget” peoples name when they mentioned it 5 seconds ago just because my brain skips over it cuz im more focused on the holding the conversation

The thing is, ADHD has a kind of inertia if enacts on people. Ive been diagnosed with it since I was 14 and I only ever became healthily productive when I was put on medication. Before that it was procrastinating until the last second, and then working for hours upon hours straight with no breaks and waiting until im dancing on my seat to stand up and force myself to use the bathroom. ADHDers in motion stay in motion, and ADHDers at rest stay at rest

I’ve always been interested in the field but thought there’s no way I could do it, because how could I do something that important if I can’t even cope well with basic office work? And the obvious answer is...because it’s something important lol. (I don’t think I will, I just wish I hadn’t been discouraged from pursuing medicine as a kid)

Innit

The trend of doctors ignoring a lot of people's symptoms and dismissing them due to their gender or generally people being unable to afford mental health care is so much worse and the reason a lot of people feel a need to self diagnose. Let's address the ACTUAL systemic problem please rather than blaming people who are struggling

@@leotardbanshee both are big problems, i think the problem you bring is more important to call out but people self diagnosticating is not only because of piece of shit doctors, sometimes people BELIVE they know how to diagnotise and start telling others. Its quite common in any field for lots of people to think they know more than profesionals, "because why not" basically. But, im not saying you are wrong on those situations, just adding to the topic

hmm I'm sure you could make the argument that glamorizing mental illness would help stop the taboo, or the shame, or whatever and people would be more comfortable in their own mental health or seeking help for their own sake. It's kinda weird to fake being x y z but I'm sure there is good to come out of it.

@@leotardbanshee This. Be kind to individuals, ruthless to systems.

Don't self diagnose..

The problem is it isn't. It is used clinically. It determines health insurance policies. It is used for the qualification for disability payments in some places. It is even relied upon by laws in some countries.

@@IsaacIsaacIsaacsonyou need some objective measure to diagnose. Besides, the icd 10 is usually used for medical codes and billing.

Yeah also the DSM criteria for autism is based on how it presents in males, which is a bit different from how it presents in females, so women and girls are much less likely to get a diagnosis

Another big one is the removal (in the opinions of many experts in the field, deeply in error) of emotional dysregulation from the criteria for ADHD from the DSM-5, as it's basically one of the few symptoms that is almost universal for us. Dr. Russell Barkley is very outspoken about this. The different presentations for autism and ADHD are another huge issue that prevents far too many proper diagnoses for those whose symptoms present differently from the extremely limited language in the DSM-5, especially when there are comorbidites complicating things (which is more often than not).

That's still passive suicide ideation. He is describing more about feeling like shit and not having words to describe it

100% but difference with me is that my family never really cared but wanted something to just shut me up Resulting in never getting the help I need and neglecting me emotionally

there actually exists the psychodynamic diagnostic manual, you can find it very easily online by searching pdm 2 pdf. i have found it to be incredibly more accurate and nuanced than the dsm alone, but i may be biased as i am primarily concerned about my particular disorder.

ps another theory is like someone said about everyone having the ability to have ADHD , i think also another thing could be we all have spectrum disorders to a certain degree some worse than others.. wich is another theory its very hard to get a psychiatric assessment in some parts of the UK though. inless people have ways of going private.

also again not to mention there are several personality disorders everyone chooses bpd xD

Exactly. Seeing a doctor because something you read on the internet raised concerns is always preferable to not seeing a doctor when you should, and just hoping things will get better on their own. That's how you either get to skip a years-long diagnostic process on average for cluster headaches and get a diagnosis on the first visit because you already read fifteen medical journal articles about it before you even called the doctor... or turn a week-long flu into month-long pneumonia or suffer with a stomach ulcer for three weeks longer than necessary, in my experience. (I'm getting better about just sucking it up and going in, but I'm also incredibly privileged to have free health coverage, so YMMV.)