0:00 Please remember: These are real people who had the courage to come on my podcast and ask for help. Would you be willing to come on this podcast and share every detail of your financial life? Feel free to leave comments based on what you think, but remember that we are here to help in a supportive way, not to demean and criticize. Download the Conscious Spending Plan so you can use your money GUILT-FREE: iwt.com/csp-youtube

Kate: "My needs aren't being met" Mike: "What are your needs?" Kate: "I don't know what my needs are...never thought about it" How do you know your needs aren't being met?

Kate is all over the place, she got what she wanted, a home with land, the bed, and says she's living the rich life. But then says her needs are not met. She says she doesn't care about the student loans, but later says its a burden. Mike is checked out, I think from how bad things gotten and knowing he knew she was a spender and was in debt. They have a lot of issues and I don’t blame Ramit from stepping away. They need a different kind of help. I'm glad they are working with a therapist. There's too much evasion of questions, accountability and recentment built up. I hope they pull through.

Wow, that was a powerful ending. Recognizing that some people don't really want to change even with all the evidence that there can be plan in place is hard to walk away from. I've had so many conversations with friends and family that go nowhere. This is a nice reminder that you can't push anyone to do anything even though you know the potential.

I really enjoy all the episodes, but I would like to see a section at the end, especially for episodes like this where there is no clear resolution where Ramit tells us what he would do to solve this particular problem. It would be a great way to learn more from the guests on the podcast. Brilliant job as always Mr Sethi!

One thing that really stood out to me: Kate talked about how much money she used to make and how she could save enough for a two month road trip. There was never enough money to make serious efforts to pay her student loans. There never will be enough money until she wants to pay the loans more than she wants a road trip or a mattress. Mike acknowledged that in all the years he's known Kate, she's never prioritized paying down her debts.

This is one of the most fascinating and heartbreaking episodes so far. Here are some details I noticed. - The author Gretchen Rubin talks about the concept of "drift," which is the decision you make by not deciding, or by making a decision that unleashes consequences for which you don’t take responsibility. Kate demonstrates this concept exactly. She can't articulate her needs and desires, because she doesn't think she deserves to have any. This allows her to get swept up passively into enormous financial life changes like a big wave, because she hasn't had the practice or life experience to root herself in her own value system. Then she resents others because she feels they made her choices for her. I am glad to hear that she sees a therapist, and I hope she can empower herself to change her mindset. - They live in the Berkshires, which is a very high cost of living area in western Massachusetts. Not only is it expensive, it's remote and rural with low housing stock and few rental opportunities. If I were in their situation, I would give up on the farm, sell the property, move to Springfield or Worcester or another urban center with more rental options and restaurant jobs for Mike, and try again on the farm in a decade. If the farm is truly a dream and a priority for them, it will happen someday - but it's okay to say, "We can't afford it right now. Let's pay off the debt first and come back to it when we're in a better situation." - Kate said she used to make a lot of money running her own business. Wellness is a booming industry, and she could probably build an online business with a nationwide client base. Even doing it part time would net her some extra money to put toward the debt. Every little bit helps, and even the tiniest progress forward can offer some mental relief. It will build inertia and snowball into bigger and bigger payments in the future. - I'm around the same age as these two and it's sad to see them both so hopeless. We are SO YOUNG!! We have so much time to experiment and course correct! YES, there are systemic forces working against us. YES, we often make bad financial choices. But Kate and Mike have the power to take small steps in the right direction. The time is NOW to bust their butts working overtime or working multiple jobs or doing a side hustle, while they're young and have the health and energy. YES, it sucks, (especially with a baby), but it's only temporary. Otherwise, they'll have to do it in their seventies when they should be retired instead. If they can radically pivot and work together as a team, they'll accomplish things they previously thought impossible. I truly wish them the best and I give them major kudos for coming on the podcast.

She doesn’t feel like her needs are being met. When asked what her needs are, she doesn’t know what they are. Amazing.

When Kate mentioned that she sometimes wishes they could go back to van life or at least renting an apt, and they said that the income they will need for their CPS feels insurmountable, I thought for sure the solution was going to be sell the property and use the money to get debt free OR I thought they would come up with the idea of renting out the acreage for people with RVs or for events (rustic wedding venue) or let people pay them for a real life farming experience. Or make the land into a farm-to-table, outdoor, pop-up restaurant, since he's a chef who likes to farm. I felt bad for them but I was also surprised at how little imagination they have especially given their youth / Instagram generation. I just found it surprising that they never thought to monetize the land or to simply sell it and save up and buy a different property in a few years. Also they don't seem to have the kinds of careers where they're tied to their location. So they can also try to move somewhere less expensive. They need to try to brainstorm and creatively problem solve their income vs fixed expenses / debt issue. I sincerely wish them good luck with this.

I am really sad for this couple. There really isn't any way forward for them at present. I don't want to crush anybody's dreams but my personal experience is that growing one's own food costs a lot of money to start up, you'll work more hours than you knew existed, there are maintenance costs you never dreamed of, disasters - rabbits get in and eat your entire year's crop in one night, half your chickens die in a week from a mystery ailment and the remaining hens stop laying, your milch animal gets mastitis and you have to throw away the milk and pay expensive veterinary bills.... Then there's food processing and preservation. Are you up for pulling an all-nighter saving a tomato flush before going to your day job? Believe me, you will need a day job to keep you solvent. You'll still need to buy all the foods you can't grow. I'm a trained permaculturalist. We have a mantra about the designer becoming the recliner. Getting from designing to reclining doesn't happen overnight. It's a worthwhile process but it costs and costs and costs in terms of life energy, physical energy, and money.

I am trying not to judge... but honestly, the entitlement level is just too much. Huge debts that she just doesn't pay, a wrecked credit score... but she NEEDS an organic $2k+ mattress because anything else is not acceptable for the baby? This is very typical of new parents who were raised well off and have no concept of living within their means. The new baby is a built in excuse to live even more beyond their means. Big house, big car, fancy mattress... it's not for ME, it's for my BABY. Meanwhile kids all over America and the world are being raised in loving homes without any of those luxuries. They are simply not necessities, but she has convinced herself that they are.

Wow, by far, this episode is the most (I feel) relatable to so many Americans. A must-watch. Feeling undefeated with your finances and living in the "I want this now" moment. We need a part 2.

I enjoyed this because it was more of a "normal, everyday" style couple - there's nothing wrong with the high achievers you have on and they're often inspirational but also really interesting to see some on the other side. Edit: so I have to edit because I wrote the original halfway through listening but now I’ve finished not only does the above still apply but Ramit I think this is probably the strongest single episode you’ve ever done in terms of just how direct and real it was.

This was so difficult to watch. Their complete lack of accountability is infuriating. I feel terrible for their situation, and understand they how scared they are. Hearing how much blame about her student loans was laid at the feet of her parents was rough. I am so surprised they were able to get a mortgage.

This episode was vulnerable, honest, and kind. It was hard to watch (as a listener I always want to see your guests have their ah-ha moment), but I appreciate you sharing this episode. Your level of empathy & compassion has grown tremendously over the years & it makes your podcast one of the best. Thank you for the heart & soul you pour into your show and guests. 🖤

Ooofff. This was a hard one. I just don’t understand the inner workings of how some people can hate their situation and really still be like, nope not gonna change. Blows my mind.

I love it when people who have never farmed go out and buy land to farm to sustain themselves . Everyone wants to live the Green Acres life. It's very hard and expensive. It takes one bad season to ruin you. I don't know how extensive they want to be, but they should talk to people who are living that life to reconsider.

This feels a lot more real situation than most. I loved him telling them the problem wasn’t living their rich life but rather affording it

I don't understand. Why does she tear down Mike career goals but she is not willing to change nor work? Of course working while pregnant is not ideal, but people do it when they have to. She doesn't want to make uncomfortable adjustments for herself... why can't she do it for Mike or her baby?

Someone please get this guy the stats on how many restaurants fail within one year. If you can't manage your personal finances and have a mess at home, the restaurant is a terrible idea. I wonder how she got him to marry her after 8 years, because it's fairly clear that she only paid her debt for a little bit to get him to combine finances so she'd get him on the hook for her problems and then went right back to her old ways once that happened. Now having children and unwilling to take any responsibility. Hope they get the wake up call or do a follow up because it will be interesting to see how this works out in the end. She doesn't want to work or take responsibility and he's burned out after dealing with this for 10 years. Rough situation.

This episode is like looking in a mirror (and I'm not talking physically although that also tracks) and I don't like it. But I'm going to take all the lessons I can from it and hopefully move forward! Kudos to this couple for laying it out there for all of us. And thank you, Ramit, for digging into it with them. I'm constantly amazed at how you are able to get to the root of the issue.

This episode was hard to listen to. I can’t imagine ignoring your debt, creating a mountain of debt then buying a house that needs massive repairs & tossing a baby in the mix. That makes for a super stressful living situation. Once they hit rock bottom they’ll either stay there or come together & claw their way out of the mess. I feel for them but they’ve also created this reality for their selves.

The whole buying a farm to not rely on grocery stores is nearly the most most ridiculous thing I’ve seen on Ramits channel LOL

It just feels like kate really wants someone to handle everything and make a plan for her and at the sae time do what she wants to do and live her rich life without consequence - which makes sense because thats how her mom raised her. There is an element of control from her mom but there is also an element if nit having to worry about anytjing/be responsible and it all works iut for you. This unfortunately isnt something that works long term as you grow into adulthood and now especially with a bb. It sounds like shes resentful that mike is holding her accountable and that he didnt just swoop in and solve all of the problems and fix it but marriage is a partnership. Wishing them the best

Kate is approaching everything from a place of anger and it reminds me of my younger self, I hope she can work on that and eventually be able to have a real partnership with her husband

Glad they are in therapy. Change is hard, add in pregnancy, new house, etc….. I recognize my younger self in Kate. When you are capable of taking responsibility for your own life and own choices, your life dramatically improves. Good luck to this couple.

If this couple ever reads the comments I just want them to know that it can get better but the change has to happen... Ive been in those shoes before and I am a single parent, the struggle is real but that is also why the change has to happen. I love the phrase that some of my coaches say "people always over estimate what you can do in the short term but under estimate what you can do in the long term". Love this show!

Really would appreciate going through the numbers in every episode consistently. ❤️

I don’t get why things are so hopeless if they’re earning $7k/mo? Subtract the $850 for her loans and you’re still at over 70k annually. That should be enough for a family of 3 to make it work in a low-moderate cost city. Seems like the issue is them spending $12k/mo which wasn’t really addressed unless I missed something.

“I’ve never put my priorities and wants first.” Studies dance in NYC for 4 years. Did she make a single honest statement the entire episode? I’m sorry, I know a big part of these episodes is to show us different psychologies around money, but some of this stuff strays way off the beaten path.

I found this episode heartbreaking. Many reminders of my younger self. Ramit does an amazing job of clarifying this couple’s situation through his questions. Hoping they choose to work together to get themselves on track to tackle the debt.

The fact that it took Ramit 13 years and counting to build his brand and the fact that he has built an authentic , relatable and communicable platform is amazing. Giving people the hope but knowledge in return is amazing. Kate you deserve what it is you need. Both of you are ! Thanks Ramit, hope to have you on my platform one day !

I’ve been living in a van for 5+ years and currently weighing the option of buying my first home vs renting. Maybe it’s a coincidence, but pretty much every video YT has recommended from your channel has slowly nudged me in the direction of renting. This video pretty much convinced me. At least, for now. Really appreciate how candid and direct these conversations are.

I'm really impressed by Mike's emotional intelligence (having the wherewithal to ask "what are your needs?" In such a tense moment, and pointing out that the resentment from the student loans was being transferred onto him).

"I've never put myself as a priority" - just bought a 2500 bed because she wanted it to be a good bed for her

This was a tough listen. I wanted to scream through the podcast lol. Ramit asks incredible questions. I’m so glad the conversation is changing in regards to student loans and getting a degree. Over $130k for a dance degree - the math isn’t mathing. Unfortunately I know a lot of people who are burdened with student loans and have jobs that can’t repay them. I cannot imagine not being on the same page and now bringing a child into the world. So scary, sending good vibes that they find the courage to move in the right direction. The little steps matter.

Praying for this couple. It seemed Kate does not know how to take accountability and responsibility for herself. I felt horrible for Mike when she said she had been asking for more $ and he wasn’t delivering. I hope they both find the will to work on themselves for their child.

I’m so sad to see it end this way. I hope she is able to find out what she really needs. She may have learned more from her mother than she thinks.

I’ve been listening to this episode and she is all over the place with not accepting responsibility. He is also not accepting responsibility that he gives in to what she wants even to the detriment of their finances. They seem to have both checked out and are defeated. Change will happen even if it’s eventually FORCED. I hope there will be a follow up in the future. I wish them the best.

My late husband and I had 100 acres of land and were planning to farm, grow our own food etc. Looking back I realize we would have failed. We were both city kids that knew zero about farming, very little about growing a garden. First it would have been too much money to even start. Then our lack of knowledge, lack of experience with farming, gardening and animal care was a huge learning curve that would have taken us years of experiences to overcome. I think this couples idea of farming and growing their own food might be a bit unrealistic. There would be a huge amount of related frustrations that they seem unprepared for, financially, in knowledge, and emotionally. Good luck to them in trying it, it’s an attractive dream, but might just end up in more frustration than they, their marriage, could tolerate. My husband unexpectedly passed away before we could try our dream, and after holding on to the empty land for a few years I finally realized it was a dream I could not pursue alone, I sold the land and did something else with the money.

Therapist here reading allllllllll into so many things in this convo. I’m sad about this ending. 😢 She accepted Ramit’s statement that he couldn’t help them right now so easily. I want to know what her husband thinks about that! Great episode. I hate it but it’s great because we can’t always wrap things up with a shiny bow at the end. This is reality and happens in therapy all the time as well with folks who just aren’t in the right stage of change yet. I hope they both get there soon. Good vibes to Kate and Mike 🌈🌈🌈

This was the saddest ending. What’s even worse is that these are real lives and there is a innocent baby about to be born into this cycle. I wish that Ramit would have talked more about the conscious spending numbers with them just to give a glimmer of hope that they could look towards. Show that hey maybe 12k a month more isn’t possible today but shoot for 8 or 9. Small changes will make a huge difference over time. There is an entire forest of options behind the one tree they are stuck behind looking at.

My guess of things to come “No we have to use the 10x more expensive diapers because they have the green leaf on the package.” “Only all natural formula.” Then bankruptcy from consumer debt.

As a millennial, I know so many people like this nice couple. Lost. It’s really sad.

It is one of the best episodes. Its not a money show its kind of a psychology class.

Oof. What an ending, shot through the heart. I’m so disappointed on their behalf that they felt so defeated. I recently watched one where the guests indicated they would not change, Ramit called attention to it, and went through the motions of the CSP anyway. This was a powerful powerful move, and in the end I feel will be a wakeup call for them in the future. I’m hopeful that through therapy and the baby coming they’ll get there. It’s just a lot at once. They’ll get there.

Kate. Kate. Kate. Black & white thinking. Stories you tell yourself, as Ramit says. Kate, you need to do some psychological stuff around money, and my experience is that it's gotta be specific to becoming a mom. When I became a mom my psychology around money changed, from "gotta be mildly responsible" to "if my spouse dies or I die, I need to have X provided for this kid". I did a lot of reading & inner work, Secrets of Six Figure Women, Overcoming Underearning, that sort of thing. There is a primal fear that comes with motherhood that can be motivating or self-destroying. Ramit's right, this is not his bag -- but the stories women in particular hold around money (coming from history -- it's not irrational given that women were legally financial non-entities for a long time, couldn't get a credit card in their own name until 1974 in the US!) *are* explorable and you can do better, Kate. There's no prince charming even if your spouse is wonderful. Richer people don't work harder than poorer people. Not having your name on the house is a risk to your kid's financial future if something goes wrong. You have got to level up, for your kid if not yourself.

I really wish Ramit, you would have looked over their numbers and thrown out a few possibilities/options for them. I think you were right in that there is a lot of financial resistance with these two. I’ve been there and it’s a tough road. I feel like some actual numbers talk would have gone a long way in them catching a vision for a brighter financial future. I’m loving this podcast/KZfaq show. It’s been a great for me and my family’s financial health. Thank you!

"feel like my debt doesnt matter" but they both said at the beginning of the relationship he wanted to help her but only if she actively started to try and do something about it.... Felt like she was victimizing herself the whole time

I don’t buy that Kate doesn’t feel like she’s enough. She feels guilty, but not enough to take ownership. She wants her husband to work more and cover all the bills including her debt. Not once did she say she can work after the baby to help pay off her debt. After she has the baby, she can work to pay off the loans and her husband can take care of the household. They can sell their house and rent for a while.

You guys are so brave to come on here. Ramit does not hold back and forces people to look at the cold hard truth. I have so much respect for this. I am a cold hard truth kind of person because i lived my life without accepting reality and created so many horrible regrets. I want to come on the show so bad. I have some things i need clarity on. Guidance is nice. Ramit you are amazing and your show is so great. This is exactly what many people need to see. We are not alone in our struggles in life

Some pretty uncomfortable moments here, but I appreciated Ramit trying to focus the couple, and his honesty at the end. It’s extremely difficult to tell someone that you can’t help them, and might feel a little rude or even blaming, but doing so actually honors both parties and enforces healthy boundaries. Like the saying goes, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Sometimes the timing just isn’t right and people need to move on rather than slog along - the teacher desperately trying everything they can think of, becoming more immeshed and getting to the point of feeling overly responsible, meanwhile the student keeps resisting… or maybe something just doesn’t click? No one’s to blame, it’s just the situation at this point in time. I hope they can sort out these issues somehow! It’s a very stressful situation to be in, one that I’ve seen echoed in the lives of a lot of people I know, particularly those who are attached to “American dream” beliefs and buy a house, have a baby, or even just get married or get a random college degree they can’t actually use (and the debt that comes with it), just because they think that’s what all adults are supposed to do to “prove” their worthiness and “success.”

I listened on spotify and could not stop to listen. Wow, I never thought I will hear something like this. Some how I also understand why it ended like this.

Thanks to Kate and Mike for sharing their circumstances. It was super hard to listen to this episode...can only imagine how it felt for Mike and Kate. I believe in you two and hope being on the podcast has given you renewed energy to figure out your next steps. Hang in there!

I belive she truly doesn’t know what her needs are. That’s why she’s so annoyed when they ask her. Feeling pushed, she says something - something she feels she should be wanting, sonething that feels appealing or just sonething. Then he makes that something happen, but she’s not happy. And she won’t be until she doesn’t learn to recognize her needs. It is not about money at all. Fingers crossed for you Kate, I’ve been there.

This episode was by far my favorite, because i could see some of me in Kate. Sometimes our insecurities are the reason we look to blame others for our problems, and it also sometimes affect our spending habits. We try to feel better about ourselves by having "nice" things we can not afford. I realize i do this a lot by trying to rationalize my wants as needs. I understand where she is coming from, it might take some time to understand what is more important in life. I hope they can both resolve this problem together as a couple. If i was in their shoes, i would honestly sell the house and track back for a few years by renting and focusing on being debt free. Its difficult to do that with a baby, but not impossible.

This is probably one of my favorite episodes you have done becsuse it felt so realistic. I have been a little disinterested in the multiple couples that were so well established and had issues with spending when it doesn’t relate to the majority. I want to see real problems with lower salaries and the plans to move forward after this conversation

I also wonder if what she says Mike makes her feel like (a burden, not enough etc), is what she thinks of herself rather than what he thinks of her and she's projecting, because it's her self worth that's the issue, not how he sees her. Just a thought.

They are a brave couple for coming on the show. They can tackle this together if they give up some of their idealistic lies that we hear everyday. The best to both of you and your new baby.

As a therapist myself. Thank you!! Not only for encouraging therapy but letting the world into reality of managing money and how challenging it can be! The themes, repeated stories and behaviors are all too common in our society. I’m also glad you’re breaking away from “you have to”- in order, according to “they” and not listening and doing what is truly authentic. I love your “stuff”! Thanks 🙏 so much for helping so many!

Whoa… I wasn’t expecting that ending - your words were truthful. You can’t help anyone unless they are willing to make changes. Well done.

Amazing episode, I feel for these kids and their struggles. They remind me of our family when we were becoming parents. It was heartbreaking that it concluded in such a way. And you may not be licensed as a therapist, but my husband and I call your podcast Financial Therapy. 😊we stop the videos and talk in depth so much that it takes way longer than the run time to get through the whole video.

i liked the ending. you can lead the horse to water, but you can't force it to drink. they both know what to do, but avoided taking action. hope we see them in a later update/ episode after positive drastic changes.

Thank you, Katie and Mike, for sharing your story. I feel many Americans can relate to your story and whether this episode is the push you both need. I have no doubt this episode will be impactful to the many listeners/viewers.

I am only in the middle of the episode, but I can relate to her. I was also not allowed to work throughout my school and university. I graduated from the university that was not my first choice (first choice was to expensive and too far away according to my parents and they didn’t allowed me to work) having no work experience but huge resentement instead. It took me years of therapy to finally learn what my true needs are, make my own choices and take responsibility. Previously, I just wasn’t able to actually advocate for myself, so I would end up simply agreeing with others and only then realising I did not like the place I was in.

Ramit, thank you for this episode. I love it, it shows the hard truth of what we, humans, face in life, be it financially, in a relationship, at work etc. We have stories we keep telling ourselves and keep holding on to them, even though they don't serve our best interests. I was once like Kate, on a different level. I had a self-sabotaging behaviour about money for the sake of revenging my dad because of the old story I told myself. After finishing watching your show on Netflix, I saw the pattern and decided to change it. I openly discussed money with my future husband. It was tough in the beginning but it's getting better. Thank you really from my heart. 💕💕💕💕

Just listening to this episode made me feel anxious. The idea of having so much debt that you just stop paying it and then wait to see what happens horrifies me. I feel for this couple. I can see why they feel overwhelmed by the size of the problem.

Just listened to the show today. Ramit was very impressive with his patience and the realization that he could not help them. There is no help for someone that is unwilling to change. It goes back to that definition of insanity (doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome). I was also struck by their unwillingness to do the hard work to dig themselves out of the hole they are in. It Kate ever decides to take accountability, ownership, or responsibility for Her choices. She would make such progress and success in like.

My heart goes out to this couple. They are now dealing with bad financial decisions. I hope they find a solution for this mess

I can relate so much to parents not talking about finances and then having to figure out everything on your own as you become an adult. Thank goodness I didn't have that much college debt and I did have some foundation for budgeting so I didn't get into huge financial trouble, but it took me a long time to figure out things like retirement savings and more. So frustrating to feel so behind once you do have an aha moment. Ramit, I appreciate your kind probing and asking simple, direct questions. It's so powerful. You say you're not a therapist but you do have a skill for getting to the root of issues. Thank you for all your resources.

Wow! Ramit, you guided this session wonderfully. Their dreams sound so far fetched and unsustainable. I'm worried. 😮 Sell the house and land, get out of debt and restart. Wishing them the best.

Taking ownership and responsibility for your decisions both good and bad is the way to happiness.

Ramit, I love you!! 💕 You are soooo real. Your gift is flourishing. Thank you from all of us that need to be on your show but learning by way of podcast! All of our finances should be better since listening to you!

I’m speechless! They are courageous and I admire her honesty. I hope they give it some time before making any decisions.

Yikes. What a shock! I literally stopped in my tracks at this ending Ramit!!! 4 days later I am still contemplating why you didn’t cover CSP or offer any advice to this young couple. You have your reasons I am sure. Hope they make it ok. Tuesday is my favorite day of the week btw. Keep knocking ‘em out. LOVE IWT! Thanks for all you do.

I've listened to them all, and this was one of the toughest. They are relatively young, have a long life ahead of them and they are starting a family. They have time and they can turn their life around. Kate and Mike - you can do it. Loans can seem insurmountable, but people are doing it every day. And you can too. Don't give up on yourselves or each other. I hope you'll be honest with yourselves and look toward the changes you can make to create the rich life you and your new family deserve. The changes will seem scary but you'll know when you do the right things because you'll feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders.

It's a shame that this episode ended the way it did. This was probably the most relatable couple ive seen on this podcast and i've watched a fair amount of episodes. I understand Ramit not being able to help them because they don't seem to want to change. It seems like Kate just doesnt want to take reponsilibity for what caused her debt and Mike is kind of just there. However I do think the last thing people want to hear when theyre overwhelmed and shut down is that they aren't worth helping at all. So I get why Ramit did what he did but I do hope they continue to seek help.

Awww, man! What a sad ending!!! I love this YT series. It’s like a realty show and just waiting to hear of the ending. It’s like 90 day Fiancé but like 90 days Finance! This is so entertaining and I’m so invested in the couples

You can see Ramit almost going for the facepalm. What an impressive level of self control!

This looked really difficult for Ramit...it was intense and hard to watch... especially how it ended 😅😅😅😅

This episode was so intense and reminded me of all the times I felt defeated in life, but I feel there’s so much power in knowing what you need & taking baby steps to get there. That’s why I liked going through IWT I felt so empowered completing the baby steps tasks every week. This convo also showed me how important it is to being open to changing and growing is as individuals. This couple is brave for coming on and I wish them the best!

I think it's great they are both in therapy, and Ramit recognized that this way the best path for them. There are a lot of barriers, but perhaps because of their situation, and Ramit's advice - they may choose to move beyond their "scripts". We can only hope!

Ramit. For student loans.. Please always tell them that they will take away from social security to put towards student loans. This will be a crisis when melinnials hit retirement age (ONLY 27 YEARS LEFT😮😢) Im interested in how that will play out... And.. are we investing enough?😮😮

Anyone could be overwhelmed during such discussions, and not come up with the solution right away. Hope when they slowly process all this, they would be able to figure something out. Good luck to the couple.

This episode left me feeling depressed for the couple. I hope you both can reconnect for solutions down the road, when the time is right for them.

Great job Ramit, you're amazing doing that. I hope they can get where they need financially.

That ending was real! Such a great episode!

Buying a flock of chickens instead of replacing a broken toilet is but one example of bad decision-making that got them to where they are. Six figures of debt, a new baby and a fixer-upper house? The stress of each of these individually is huge. All three at once is grounds for a nervous breakdown. Now they want to add starting up a subsistence farm and opening a new restaurant on top of all of this? 🤦‍♀️ Two of the worst ideas that they could have come up with. They will simply sink further into debt for a huge amount of effort and very little upside. This couple needs to get off of social media and start making practical decisions. Trying to recreate van life, house-flipping and homesteading fantasies will completely backfire. I have no idea how Ramit keeps his judgement to himself in situations like this.

It’s hard to go forward when you don’t know what you want. Chickens or van life? Hope Kate is able to figure out her true priorities through counseling and self care ❤ wishing Kate and mike the best

Hello Ramit, I find a lot of value in peoples stories. What drew me to your podcast is the concept of sharing real numbers, because numbers matter!!! Would you ever do a video on your very own CSP, that’s about your finances with your wife? You get your guests to open up and share their stories, I think we would all love to heard your too! I hope you read this.

Wow, I really liked Ramit's approach at the end. There's really not much else he could do if people aren't willing to make a change. I still do think Mike's trying to find a solution to his income situation but Kate is definitely not willing to make any sacrifices. I hope that just having that open dialogue alone may encourage them to go in a different direction otherwise I think they'll need to deal with a ton of issues ahead.

It’s so wild to me that full adults still resent their parents for saying they won’t help them if they don’t go to college. They might not be able to pay for school, but at no point did I ever expect my parents to fund my life after eighteen. There was absolutely an alternative to going to college and taking out loans. She could have said no thanks to the 10k in help from them and gone out and gotten a full time job (or a couple part time jobs) like lots of people do until she decided what direction to go in. I went the college route and I still have 75k in student loans in my 30s but it certainly isn’t my parents’ fault.

This episode was so real!! And the stories we tell ourselves. Man, I share her experiences and self-hate. Society has taken a number on humanity, and this feeling of helplessness creeps up. He can't give her what she needs. That has to come from inside and doing the work most times solo, and most times that's our worst nightmare. Our mothers sucked the life out of us. Now we have to learn how to unlearn the trash and mother ourselves as adults. Children just add to the mess and suffer if we haven't healed. And the significant other usually becomes the 👊 bag in the meantime.

Ramit, what *is* your game plan for young couples with moderate or low incomes (and/or expecting first baby!) to tackle $130,000 in student debt? Income based repayment and just build it into the budget for 25 years? Or is there any serious alternative that leads to clearing the debt? Vs. This couple's plan to just default and take the hit to their credit??

Man, I feel for them both. This was rough and I think Ramit made the right call at the end- the couples therapy Kate mentioned seems more needed right now. I hope they're doing ok!

Wow, I know a few people like this. Just blames all her bad decisions on someone else. If you can’t acknowledge your bad decisions and own up to them you will be waiting for someone else to fix them for you because it was “never your fault” to begin with.

It's sad to see it end that way. Perhaps when the inevitable does occur it will shake them into action before it is too late.

I worry about this couple. They have no idea how expensive a baby will cost. They could become homeless. They need to sell the house and move into a one bedroom apt for a few years to get caught up financially.

Apart from blaming parents this video was powerful Bless the couple and their child Hope everything goes well for them 🙏🏽

I'm shocked at this couple who seem somewhat educated and yet unrealistic and irresponsible with the income they make. It appears they want to live a lifestyle of the rich and famous, but they're not rich and famous.