Redditors Injured by Homemade "Toys" - Tales From the Internet
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@JustinWhangYt 11 ай бұрын
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@Mattzombie6 11 ай бұрын
Will they promise no longer needing a poop knife?
@localdumbass9355 11 ай бұрын
@@Mattzombie6I forgot about that story until now lmao
@Ol_Keefus 11 ай бұрын
never seen so many barriers to buying a damn fiber supplement, I'll just get some from the store
@FenNick1994 11 ай бұрын
Damn, we're all growing old real fast aren't we? Next up you're gonna be advertising Life-Alert: "HELP I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP" 😩
@localdumbass9355 11 ай бұрын
@@FenNick1994 never thought of it that way
@WineScrounger 11 ай бұрын
Why are Redditors so unhygienic and yet so confident in their own genius?
@dannylamb456 11 ай бұрын
They're peak Dunning-Kruger effect.
@ProbablyOnLSD6669 11 ай бұрын
It’s honestly not Ike it’s just Redditors. There’s just a particular flavor of chronically online weirdos who don’t go outside and are just disgusting people. The state of mental healthcare in the US is not good, in case you haven’t noticed that by now. But you can find these fascinating weirdos all over. 4chan (obviously), Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, etc. they’re everywhere.
@ThePopo543 11 ай бұрын
@@ProbablyOnLSD6669 ONLY the mental healthcare? More like ALL healthcare.
@ThePopo543 11 ай бұрын
@@Blakbox92 true. If they do it on twitter or tumblr or facebook they'll get canceled, doxxed, witch-hunted into oblivion, and possibly have their lives (or lack thereof) ruined. On 4chan and reddit they just get downvoted and made fun of.
@SergioLeonardoCornejo 11 ай бұрын
Because they're disconnected from reality
@MotionlessKnight 11 ай бұрын
The first guy saying he was afraid to show the scar because someone might recognize his dick. I could just imagine, he gets a new gf. Things are getting hot and heavy one night, and then, to his shock, his gf screams "YOU'RE THE FORESKIN GUY!!!" 😂😂😂
@husky0098 11 ай бұрын
Impossible, everyone knows there are no girls on reddit /s
@GattiJuanIgnacio 10 ай бұрын
Johnny No Foreskin, previously known as Johnny the foreskin.
@psychopompous489 10 ай бұрын
@@husky0098 Actually girls are just a myth designed by the cia /gen
@robocatssj3theofficial 5 ай бұрын
mf is never living that down i'm sorry
@tomaandkile 11 ай бұрын
The most shocking part of this video is that in all of Whang's years of looking at horrifying stuff, he's never heard of the two sponges, glove, cup method
@rebel6301 11 ай бұрын
now the two sponges, glove, and pringles can? everyone's heard of it. but the cup? must be an ancient relic of times long past.
@saladman420 11 ай бұрын
I don’t even have a schlong myself and I’ve heard of this method
@RoninCatholic 11 ай бұрын
I've never heard of this method you speak of. I just use a single disposable glove by itself.
@hoonterofhoonters6588 11 ай бұрын
The advanced method is to give it two holes. Entry and exit. It would have saved our dear redditor a great deal of trouble.
@eggsandbacon892 11 ай бұрын
The what???
@professoroak1920 11 ай бұрын
remember kids, temporary embarrassment in front of strangers is way better than surgery at home
@Gun5hip 7 ай бұрын
Instructions unclear masturbated in the mall.
@herrdrizzt9547 5 ай бұрын
By temporary embarrassment you mean talking to a woman?
@saladman420 5 ай бұрын
@@herrdrizzt9547it’s telling the doctors the truth about what really happened
@compatriot852 11 ай бұрын
Nothing creates disaster more than a man with too much free time on his hands figuratively and literally
@JoeyJ0J0 11 ай бұрын
Idle hands are the devils playthings
@compatriot852 11 ай бұрын
@@JoeyJ0J0Probably the best phrase for these situations. Makes me wonder the crazy things guys in ancient times got into to pleasure themselves
@zenon459 11 ай бұрын
@@compatriot852i'm imagining some caveman just making a hole and fucking the ground
@ericvandenavond8748 11 ай бұрын
Styx tried to warn us...
@AlphaKnight-hg2jq 11 ай бұрын
@@zenon459 the old Irish kings had to do that to become king, it was to represent getting married to the land and you have to consummate a marriage after all, also to swear fealty instead of kissing a ring like with an english king you had to suck the kings nipple The Irish where fucking weird
@eruis3139 11 ай бұрын
stories like these are why people NEED to learn about how the human body works
@yanamilenova4518 11 ай бұрын
or maybe just common sense
@ob2kenobi388 11 ай бұрын
This is what happens when you have abstinence-only sex ed, people.
@cowbraiin 11 ай бұрын
@@yanamilenova4518both is good
@ulawan5 11 ай бұрын
Also hygeine standards, like my god how do these people not get super-infections from these shenanigans
@dragos1239 11 ай бұрын
But.. learn what exactly? Not to put a drill anywhere near their dick? Bot to tape themselves to a fan? That cum rots over time (like every other biological thing)?
@captainweekend5276 11 ай бұрын
My favourite reddit "toy" thread is probably the one where the guy was incredibly adamant that he did not get himself stuck in a plastic M&M tube, and rather it was his "cylinder" he had put in as part of an experiment, and did not want to cut open the M&M tube in risk of damaging it, nor could he cut it off what it was attached to. That was of course until a comment told him to go to the hospital to "get his tiny penis unstuck", which triggered the guy to finally admit it was his penis but it wasn't small and instead average.
@kodomoshawn6729 9 ай бұрын
I'm pretty sure in the initial post he described the "cylinder" as small but then denied it when people started putting two and two together that he meant his dick.
@CT-9904-Crosshair 8 ай бұрын
Funny how I see that now, only a few days ago my friend showed me a video of this exact thread, but with the Star Wars opening theme playing over the entire conversation in a Star Wars like crawl! 😂😂
@dr.altoclef9255 6 ай бұрын
@@CT-9904-CrosshairSaw that one too- And now I can’t un-imagine the idea that this wasn’t a fleshlight thing and in fact it as a really specific geometry homework question.
@heerkitten6085 5 ай бұрын
If this is the same cylinder thing I'm familiar with, I'm unaware the OP of that post ever admitted to it being a dick or got triggered
@rebel6301 4 ай бұрын
"It's a cylinder."
@U-Flame 11 ай бұрын
Props to Dude #1 for willing to get help and explain exactly what happened in front of other people. Not everyone has the mental fortitude to do that
@Fo-Flats 9 ай бұрын
His self preservation skills kicked in after his common sense failed. 😬
@lordnorthumberland277 11 ай бұрын
Hearing about and seeing Redditors being humiliated and made fun of never gets old
@sageofspace 11 ай бұрын
Fr
@initial_C 11 ай бұрын
"Redditor schadenfreude is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Ben Franklin
@WineScrounger 11 ай бұрын
Preach 🙌
@givemeham2301 11 ай бұрын
@@initial_Cactually sun tzu said that
@Dalek59862 11 ай бұрын
@@givemeham2301and I'd say he knows a little more about humiliation because he invented it.
@jexxer 11 ай бұрын
I have to wonder if the second story was the _true_ origin of "instructions unclear, dick caught in ceiling fan," or if this was a case of life imitating art.
@jexxer 11 ай бұрын
...I edited a typo and lost the heart...
@wisemankugelmemicus1701 11 ай бұрын
Nah its actually a YT comment "The instructions weren’t clear enough. I got my dick caught in the ceiling fan."
@LarryLycanthrope 10 ай бұрын
@@jexxer BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@Kablooey81 4 ай бұрын
RIP :(@@jexxer
@CoRLex-jh5vx 4 ай бұрын
@@jexxerand that's why you always proofread before posting, kids!
@ulawan5 11 ай бұрын
as soon as he started describing the "allergies localized to his room" I was immediately slammed back into the memory of the beautiful historic dorm I lived in that was slowly killing us with black mold for about two months before we were moved, and the building was then condemned and demolished it was EVERYWHERE, the place had been built in the 40s and there must have been over a decade of just literally whitewashing the walls and painting over the mold spots and damage. But they could not hide the spots in the AC grates and on the light switches Black mold is no joke, I was miserable and exhausted for weeks and then devastated when this prime dorm location was stolen from my roommates and I by circumstance
@Frellyouall 11 ай бұрын
Last story reminded me of the day before I had open heart surgery 6 years ago. I threw away all of my tex toys. Including the expensive Fleshlight. I threw them away because if anything had gone majorly wrong on the operating table...I didn't want anyone finding them hidden away in my room.
@Fo-Flats 9 ай бұрын
A logical and sensible decision to make. 👍 Glad you lived to tell the tale.
@willd.4808 7 ай бұрын
I think about this ALL THE TIME. Like, way more than a sane person. I'm mortified at the idea that I might die in an accident and my parents will find my toys. I would've absolutely done the same in your situation
@Ottophil 26 күн бұрын
@@willd.4808if you’re dead it won’t matter
@ninjabreadman8166 11 ай бұрын
Foreskin Destruction sounds like a pretty hardcore band, or an organization that gets you placed on a list
@blehwhatever4890 11 ай бұрын
Average American Healthcare System Experience.
@the-postal-dude 11 ай бұрын
that unironically sounds like a cannibal corpse song
@elansleazebaganno 11 ай бұрын
Penile Mutilation
@Sniperboy5551 11 ай бұрын
@komaeda-nagito You’re 110% right, I’m sure they have a song with a similar name somewhere
@CamelliaFlingert 11 ай бұрын
well, not this but we already have a russian trash metal band called "abyss of anal oppression", and their music is actually cool aside from some joke-type tracks
@therewasanattempt7092 11 ай бұрын
I can’t believe whang didn’t talk about the guy who tried to make a fleshlight with an M&Ms tube and microwaved banana and subsequently got his weewee stuck in it
@ThomasOwOD 11 ай бұрын
It was a cylinder idk why you'd think it's his dick
@s942 11 ай бұрын
Tame compared to the stuff in this video
@toribug1899 11 ай бұрын
isn’t that the ‘cylinder’ guy?
@Oskoreia 11 ай бұрын
I don't think that guy's hypothetical 'cylinder' would be too happy about that /joking
@TheFantasticJoe 11 ай бұрын
That was a cylinder, totally different.
@thethrashyone 11 ай бұрын
As someone who recently went through a nightmare having to do with a dying refrigerator and about 6 lbs. of ground beef which ended up spoiling in the freezer, I know all about horrible smells that would give just about anyone the urge to projectile vomit on the spot. And let me just say, there's no amount of money you could pay me to willingly subject myself to whatever cthulean stench that last guy must have smelt.
@ARCHIVED9610 11 ай бұрын
dear god that sounds nightmarish. the only thing i’ve encountered that was awful awful was expired homemade vegetable soup, the moment the jar opened something left me as the entire kitchen had to be aired out for the rest of the dayy 😭
@leaflitter-rp5wu 2 ай бұрын
I was sprayed with Rat Puss and necrotic tissue once while cleaning Up my pet rats surgery wound that got infected...Had the Texture of Cottage Cheese and the smell of weeks old rotting Chicken breast and Piss.
@AFarmerCalledChicken 11 ай бұрын
My grandma’s words (I’m just sitting on the porch with her) during the ceiling fan one: “I hope he tore it right off”
@JJAB91 5 ай бұрын
Seems like a strange video to watch with your grandma.
@tony_starch Ай бұрын
Your grandma sounds wonderful
@verierii 11 ай бұрын
I giggle and kick my feet when whangy uploads
@cigarettes_and_petrichor3190 11 ай бұрын
Unfathomably real
@wigglypfff 11 ай бұрын
Unfathomably real
@newxenesis 11 ай бұрын
Unfathomably real
@holvingar4375 11 ай бұрын
Unfathomably real
@em5345- 11 ай бұрын
Really unfathomably real.
@Yzerbruh 11 ай бұрын
Having an intimate moment with a contraption filled with black mold seems like a good reason to visit a doctor. Having such sensitive areas make direct contact with it sounds like a surefire way to get an infection or severe inflammation.
@darkshadowrule2952 11 ай бұрын
Why would he not think to wash it first after leaving it for so long? 🤮🤮🤮
@blackhawkz2499 11 ай бұрын
@@darkshadowrule2952 he's a redditor lol
@Crypticmudkip 11 ай бұрын
no straight up sepsis...
@dr.altoclef9255 11 ай бұрын
Honestly if you're doing that, you're seconds away from making a doctor invent an entirely new procedure.
@sydneykloba7827 11 ай бұрын
@@dr.altoclef9255medical emasculation (which would also be metal as a band name)
@uraalice 11 ай бұрын
I don't have a penis and I can never wrap my head around these stories. Like the complex contraptions and not understanding that leaving a constant mess of bodily fluids could cause problems down the line. There has to be a better way to get your rocks off, right?
@Mizzybelle. 11 ай бұрын
That last guy was literally breeding a new bioweapon 💀
@masterklaw4527 11 ай бұрын
Whang is to Cr1tikal what Shadow the Hedgehog is to Sonic. Cr1tikal Video Titles: "We need to talk about this guy", Whang! Video Titles: "The Fortnite KZfaqr who ate a Rare Fungus and Shot Himself in the Balls."
@sarcasticdude2320 10 ай бұрын
Moist: the situation just got worse Whang: Update vid: Goomba man testicle found
@gudmansal3468 20 минут бұрын
@@sarcasticdude2320 update on the x situlation the child abuser recreator who invented facebook ai and then turned himself into the police and fucking died
@grosezero8834 11 ай бұрын
That ceiling fan one is straight up like a saw trap
@DONKFORTRESS6956 11 ай бұрын
"you never appreciated your penis"
@reviewpanda3125 11 ай бұрын
"There will be blood" - John Kramer
@koollazy5959 10 ай бұрын
exactly what i was thinking
@Flesh_Wizard 10 ай бұрын
"do you want to play a little game"
@digdug2507 10 ай бұрын
@@Flesh_Wizard”about motion and no lotion?”
@SquirmieWormington 11 ай бұрын
He should be sponsored by a sex toy company so his fans can get real and safe sex toys so this shit doesn’t happen. Perfect way to convince somebody to splurge on a good body safe toy, and maybe some toy cleaner too.
@Romanticoutlaw 11 ай бұрын
amen. Though the fact that unsafe toys are allowed to be sold (by big name suppliers, too, cough cough adam&eve) as long as "for novelty purposes" is in fine print somewhere on the box boils my blood. It'd be great to see a sponsorship from one of the brands that uses actual medical or food grade silicone
@user-sg4ov7ng4h 7 ай бұрын
@@Romanticoutlawwait what?
@slitheen3 6 ай бұрын
@@user-sg4ov7ng4h any toy made of PVC plastic is porous and therefore impossible to thoroughly clean. They absorb smells, bacteria, and even deform or 'melt' over time, and probably leech chemicals into you. Its an extremely common material though. Most toys advertised as "real feel" are PVC plastic, as are most cheaper toys in general, ESPECIALLY cheap fleshlights. I like to think of them as single use because they're ok initially but as you use them more, the nastier they'll get. Like a less extreme version of the last guy's homemade toy You want something made of a nonporous material like glass, titanium, silicone, or hard plastic. Unfortunately the only soft material there suitable for fleshlights is silicone, the rest are used for dildos, or hard plastic for vibrators. There used to be a very narrow selection of products but there's a lot more variety of body safe masturbators now than there were even a few years ago. Especially from indie sex toy shops who make creative molds and hand pour silicone toys. A lot of them will even do custome colors
@joannamysluk8623 5 ай бұрын
He got sponsored by Adam&Eve at one point.
@evil1by1 2 ай бұрын
Pfft safe sex toys are everywhere on the internet. Im not buying that a young internet savvy person couldnt figure out or afford a cheap pocket rocket on Amazon.
@DarkOverlord96 11 ай бұрын
I'm honestly surprised Whang didn't know about the "Two sponges, rubber glove and cup" fleshlight, I was under the impression that was the most well-known "homemade" fleshlight.
@RoninCatholic 11 ай бұрын
I'd never heard of it.
@From_A_Diverging_Timeline 11 ай бұрын
I'm not familiar with any home made flashlight recipes. I'm sure lots of guys seek it out.. but not all.
@melloncollie3321 11 ай бұрын
I'm a chick and the thought of that texture is making me cringe. I don't want to think that that's what the actual texture is like 😅
@RoninCatholic 11 ай бұрын
@@melloncollie3321 Rubber gloves are used because they're easy to dispose of. They give the same feeling as wearing a condom, but are cheaper. With things like sponges and towels, it's just about getting a certain amount of softness/resistance. Nothing's going to ever actually feel like the real thing other than the real thing. And for me, whether using a toy or not, it always just feels lonely and sad because it reminds me I don't have anybody to actually _love_ - no hugging, no kissing, no talking, just my own imagination.
@RoninCatholic 11 ай бұрын
@uglyahhdog Not entirely, but I do feel a bit better the longer I stay away from pornography and masturbation. It doesn't and never really has done anything but remind me of how alone I am and in the latter's case, some minor chemical stress relief.
@rcfp2006 11 ай бұрын
Should the internet one day die and society collapse. Children will gather around old man Whang to hear his mystical stories of a far off place called 'Innanet'
@AnotherCamilo 11 ай бұрын
"Uncle Whang: Can you tell us the story of the man who recorded himself sitting on a jar and went to work with is butt bleeding?"
@dr.altoclef9255 10 ай бұрын
We will chisel these stories into stone blocks to leave for future archaeological digs.
@Flesh_Wizard 10 ай бұрын
I like to think it would be more like a dark souls boss fight with the grossest attacks you can imagine
@pennyforyourthots 8 ай бұрын
@@Flesh_Wizardyou know how every dark souls game has a swamp level? The swamp level in whangs game is the swamps of dagobah.
@Killbayne 11 ай бұрын
> 3 year old light filled with nut > begins having breathing problems ONLY in the room > symptoms consistent with allergy > not allergic to the dog oh no.
@DONKFORTRESS6956 11 ай бұрын
bro about to become a clicker
@Mike_Oxlong07 10 ай бұрын
Been nice knowing ya homie
@rebel6301 4 ай бұрын
the fungus consumes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@traumgeist 11 ай бұрын
There is an old emergency room doctors case file about a man who would pleasure himself on the drive belts of the various pieces of shop equipment in his factory after hours. His nutsack got entangled in the belt and one of his nuts was ripped out and flung up onto the rafters and was found later. He recovered but the nut couldn't be reattached. This one was confirmed by Snopes.
@Romanticoutlaw 11 ай бұрын
talk about busting a nut
@namflashback 7 ай бұрын
Brooooooooooooooooo
@rebel6301 4 ай бұрын
is THIS how a certain austrian painter lost one of his balls?
@gudmansal3468 21 минут бұрын
@@rebel6301 hitler lost his other ball in ww1 so probably not
@Romanticoutlaw 11 ай бұрын
the lack of survival instinct when it comes to dudes sticking their pool noodle in things is kind of impressive. Like... your quality of life might get worse if you lose a finger or a toe, but you got nine more of the things. You just got the one of your little fella
@whitebread3872 11 ай бұрын
This reminds me of a story my mom told me, she works as an X-ray technician and once she told me a story about a girl who shoved a giant cucumber up her you know what and couldn’t get it out my mom always tells me stories from work but that one has to be my favorite, then she gave me advice “if you ever want to try that there’s stuff made for it don’t use a homemade object” glad to have a mom who’s chill about that kind of stuff and teaching me how to be safe
@ourword3112 11 ай бұрын
Cool mom story bro
@cwcpants140 11 ай бұрын
For real! Its wild how many hospital visits could be prevented if people at least knew to have a flared base aka a base that wont allow it to slip up inside you. I thought that’d be common sense tbh
@joeshabado1431 11 ай бұрын
When in doubt, tie a string to it.
@pringlebatch 11 ай бұрын
I wish my mother had given me such a talk. Nothing actually happened to me with what *I* improvised, but I was bloody lucky
@treeaboo 10 ай бұрын
@@joeshabado1431 At least that way you get a little tail!
@sodashiira1894 11 ай бұрын
thank you whang for being our most reliable source of reddit-born trauma 👍👍
@Wistin20 11 ай бұрын
🎷🐛
@DinittaLawson 11 ай бұрын
Redditor butt trauma
@jamesedwardladislazerrudo1378 11 ай бұрын
Girls: Why boys live short? Also Boys:
@_V.Va_ 11 ай бұрын
@@jamesedwardladislazerrudo1378Living short isnt always a choice. 😞
@jamesedwardladislazerrudo1378 11 ай бұрын
@@_V.Va_ We boys have always childish behavior sometimes
@haleyb4023 11 ай бұрын
Once, I had a drill skid across a piece of wood and slice into my finger. I couldn't bend my finger for a week or I'd be in blinding pain. The wound was deep and jagged. Somehow, a laceration from machinery was WAY harder to look at then like, an accident with a non-tool like broken glass or sharp rocks. Knowing someone did that to their pee hole...I'm really torn between laughing and having to lie down.
@psykomancer4420 11 ай бұрын
>clever guy >not clever enough to keep his jury rigged fleshlight clean
@TheDigitalApple 11 ай бұрын
Redditors trying to turn everything into a toy doesn’t sound surprising at this point considering all the weird sexual stuff that happens on that website.
@cooldud7071 11 ай бұрын
This is some shit any random teen would have done, these are just the dumb ones sharing their stories.
@AL-lh2ht 11 ай бұрын
Reddit is no less sexual then the rest of the internet
@Im-BAD-at-satire 11 ай бұрын
Sexual excitement is a primitive feature of the brain, even asexuals have a libido, hypersexual asexuals exist even for example. It's just inevitable.
@ThePopo543 11 ай бұрын
@@AL-lh2ht idk about you, but neither tumblr nor twitter nor facebook have such wonders as the jolly rancher story, broken arms, the c- m box/sock/mirror/drawer/coconut/whatever, Colby the dog, Dave the Divorced, and Blowfly Girl.
@yanamilenova4518 11 ай бұрын
@@ThePopo543 isn't blowfly girl a copypasta tho?
@jkee9760 11 ай бұрын
Whang is like the internet's cool older cousin who says "hey lets go for a walk" then tells you the crazy stories
@xpireddripz5934 11 ай бұрын
the phantom pain ive felt throughout the whole video is beyond me
@Nerdtendo6366 11 ай бұрын
“Mr Bean Didn’t say that” hits weirdly hard since Paul Ruben died the same day this released
@sarahmelody9366 11 ай бұрын
Before we got together my husband had a pocket friend that he dropped one single load into and it ruined the whole thing for him because of the residual smell....This is just beyond insane... If he hadn't washed it into the sink it would have morphed into his jacked up humanoid typed creature.
@youngskatina 11 ай бұрын
One time?????
@sarahmelody9366 11 ай бұрын
@@youngskatina Well he used it more then once, on the seventh or so go though he got lazy and didn't pull out or clean up left it for a long period of time and organic material did what it does.
@notoriousgoblin83 11 ай бұрын
@@sarahmelody9366rotten cum sounds hellish
@Barbaroossa 11 ай бұрын
@@sarahmelody9366 he was trying to make his own pet homunculus
@sarahmelody9366 11 ай бұрын
@@Barbaroossa holy shit that's how you spell that? lol That's actually the exact word I wanted to use but I couldnt figure it out and was too lazy to look it up. So thank you.
@sirflimflam 11 ай бұрын
God, when I was a kid, I remember running out of lotion and making the terrible decision to use shampoo as lube. You know, it's got that kinda slimy feeling to it? Seemed like a match made in heaven if we're honest. Never made that mistake again. The inside burned for at least a day. No more tears, my ass. Sure was clean though. Then there was the time I developed a rash and I freaked out about potentially getting an STD somehow (was a virgin at the time, smh) and I decided to clean it for a few days with 70% isopropyl. Dried it out and it looked like a shriveled sausage. Told the nurse at the ER what happened and she had the biggest grin on her face explaining to me why that was a stupid idea. Loved her attitude about it honestly. Had she been more serious about it I probably would have been even more mentally devastated.
@stinker6784 11 ай бұрын
weve all been there man. well, except for the fucking isopropyl 💀
@Calvin_Coolage 11 ай бұрын
@@stinker6784I used hand sanitizer once, that's kinda close.
@Rayvn7 11 ай бұрын
Yes, putting any hazardous substance, such as "lotion" or most brands of shampoo, anywhere on your body, is obviously a terrible and unsafe idea. Putting any sort of soap or cleaner on the inside of the foreskin is also very stupid.
@allier1867 11 ай бұрын
Alcohol and vulva and vaginas dont mix too. I remember when i was starting my very first period ( mom and sex ed didnt warn me) and i was so scared i was bleeding i grabbed alcohol, poured it on tissue and decided to clean myself with that... INSTANT EXCRUCIATING PAIN oh my gosh
@cosmicmuffin322 11 ай бұрын
@@allier1867Damn I'm sorry
@tarotsport1451 11 ай бұрын
I love how you can tell what’s going to go wrong just by hearing what their contraptions are made of. Flashlight and Rubber Band in the same sentence is a bad omen
@Fo-Flats 9 ай бұрын
It's also a bit alarming how many require duct tape. Not me jack. 😑
@noanswer1864 11 ай бұрын
I will never understand people who's inhibitions about purchasing a pleasure device are stronger than their inhibitions against shoving some random thing up there. Even in the 90's you could go into a place like Spencer's and get yourself something, then pair it with a Simpsons t shirt or some other normal thing to throw on top of it if, you were really that embarrassed. These days when you can get whatever the hell you want up there delivered to your door by Amazon in a day, I've just got no sympathy.
@CoRLex-jh5vx 4 ай бұрын
I think for teens, there are a lot of reasons why they can't just get the proper equipment. Limited access to those shops, not having money or having very tightly supervised money. With Amazon most of the time its a family account that is very easily tracked, and thats not even counting the risk of it being discovered by someone else once its delivered. 'Discrete packaging' only goes so far when your parents are nosy as hell Adults who live on their own don't have much of an excuse though imo
@wolfetteplays8894 3 ай бұрын
It is about tradition lmap.
@krillmenow3951 11 ай бұрын
The Cuphead ost playing in the background while Whang semi-graphically describes desperate horny people mishaps makes this Even funnier to me
@haleywilson520 5 ай бұрын
It always gets me when he plays the Neverhood music
@whazzup_teacup 11 ай бұрын
"The man was dying of cumpoisoning" Yet another sentence I never expected to hear
@darrelldog5 11 ай бұрын
He actually says the "Ceiling Fan Machine" has potential... After all he went through? Wow!
@ByteDeity 3 ай бұрын
I got to give it to him. He is determined.
@StarfieldDisarray 11 ай бұрын
This video truly solves the circumcision argument; If you're circumcised you don't have a foreskin to obliterate with these Saw traps.
@ZarHakkar 11 ай бұрын
Actually, the opposite. The foreskin is like a layer of armor. It takes the beating so your glans doesn't have to.
@truemori6700 11 ай бұрын
14:05 he literally invented bacteria that eats through plastic that is how bad this was
@Romanticoutlaw 11 ай бұрын
he should have sold a petri dish of it to the scientists trying to develop a bacteria that will eat the plastic free-floating in the ocean 😂
@dhgodzilla1 11 ай бұрын
I know a girl from school who had a mis-adventure with a frozen hotdog, the hot dog became unfrozen & broke off inside her. She had to go to the doctor to have it removed...
@Yukari_Yakumo 11 ай бұрын
If I had a nickel for every time I read a story about a frozen sausage breaking off inside a person and getting stuck, I would have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird it happened twice.
@nonfungiblebroken 11 ай бұрын
"I'm gonna pretend you're the New York Knicks"
@Fo-Flats 9 ай бұрын
Did anyone eat it afterwards?
@greenbeans9748 7 ай бұрын
@@Fo-FlatsKinky!
@bnashee 11 ай бұрын
videos like this about redditors being nasty little weirdos is enough to motivate me to clean my house. thanks whang
@jjw6961 11 ай бұрын
7:51 BRUH what a deep cut. That Incredible Machine reference just unlocked so many memories that have been buried away since like first grade circa 1996.
@-sevda 11 ай бұрын
"this is the venom origin story they don't want you to know about." i was already dying of laughter throughout the entire video; however, this part caused me to absolutely lose it. thank you for the laughs, whang. you never disappoint. 😹
@richardlionerheart1945 11 ай бұрын
Spiderman venom or venom snake
@medijate 11 ай бұрын
Watching this while not 100% paying attention(in another window) is absolutely destroying my mind. I have to be 100% tuned in to figure out what the hell these things are made of.
@Adam-kn3tv 11 ай бұрын
Yeah I stop paying attention for two seconds and I'm lost. The details are insane.
@loli_cvnt5622 11 ай бұрын
The ceiling fan duct tape thing? Dude, I replayed that like 5 times, I have no idea.
@MerchantKane 11 ай бұрын
with the fan one i can physically picture exactly how the mechanics of that event worked out and i find it extra funny.
@humanchalk2835 11 ай бұрын
I've got a scar down there shaped like the number 5. didn't do it out of horniness or anything, I was doing some archery target practice in the backyard and my arm started getting tired because I'd been out there for a while. I started using improper form and resting the cam on my crotch while drawing the string, and that created a pinch point I was unaware of. I pulled back on the string, my shorts got pulled in, my underwear had a hole torn through it, and my weiner was missing a chunk of it's head, lots of blood. went to get it checked out and the doctor simply touching it to see what happened hurt so bad it made me start violently shaking on the exam table
@lexiwexiwoo 11 ай бұрын
I mean, as a woman we tend to find crazy stuff that gets us off (usually it's accidental, like sliding down the banister or having a pair of jeans with a crotch seem that was rigid enough that moving side to side is all it takes) but I gotta say that I'm amazed at some of I've ingenuity (albeit, dangerous and clearly not always effective) y'all well go to just for the big o.
@mildly_miffed_man1414 11 ай бұрын
As a man I’m also amazed at the ingenuity and dangerous effort put into this because it’s way too much effort when you can just use a hand
@ashleyelizabeth6094 11 ай бұрын
Play station 2 controller on the vibration setting menu of Katamari Damacy
@glorygloryholeallelujah 11 ай бұрын
Or an old school Nokia brick cellphone on vibrate mode-and use the house phone to repeatedly call yourself.😂
@VictorTwo2 10 ай бұрын
@@ashleyelizabeth6094every man tried that one too but it doesn't work well
@CoRLex-jh5vx 4 ай бұрын
@@ashleyelizabeth6094ha, mine was the opening scene of Skyrim where Alduin crashes through a bunch of stuff. Never got me very far but I do have a strong 'obsession' with him to this day so there was definitely some sort of conditioning going on
@JK-gm6kk 11 ай бұрын
Oh god. Heres something i don't think of too often. When I was a kid, I was really self conscious about being, well, uncut. So, i had the procedure done, on good friday 1999, at the age of 12. The pain was absolutely excruciating.
@mfyuq 11 ай бұрын
Oh. OH! oh. oh….
@JK-gm6kk 11 ай бұрын
@mafuyuirl6831 it didn't occur to me that there would be stitches after the fact
@cooldud7071 11 ай бұрын
They let kids do that?
@DionFranklinArt 11 ай бұрын
@@cooldud7071 pretty sure he DIY it
@loganstroganoff1284 11 ай бұрын
@@cooldud7071hell adults do it
6 ай бұрын
The guy who did the ceiling fan thing was genuinely comfortable setting up something which sounds exactly like a demented saw trap that John Kramer would use on his worst enemy.
@ob2kenobi388 11 ай бұрын
I didn't even want this thing and I can't imagine someone being so reckless with it.
@localdumbass9355 11 ай бұрын
"Deleted mortal kombat fatality" gave me a hysterical mental image
@ericguillot6402 11 ай бұрын
My first long term girlfriends mom, had an adventure in pleasure that got her a trip to the er. Just to give a little color to this painting, I grew up in a rual south Lousiana village. Yeah wasn't enough to make it to the town level. So there wasn't a lot of big spenders needing her services. She was more of a whatever you got kind of service. She's told of that whatever being a handful of change, milk, or on a good day some crack. The diy sex toy was a frozen link of smoked sausage (Savoies if I remember correctly). It was one of those times that she couldn't quite get there so she kept chugging along. All that friction and heat buildup caused some defrosting and a weak spot appeared, causing it to break over half of it inside her. Every time she'd try it would get pushed further in. Said from the sausage grease and other juices present it had a serious scent that filled the room in the er. Her daughter, who she didn't raise, was mortified that sue decided to regale us with tales of a poverty prostitute of the 1970s. Very strange dinner topic of conversation. Last time we visited for supper.
@brokenfoxproductions 11 ай бұрын
..... Why did I keep reading?
@sniedendepoes 11 ай бұрын
Is this AI generated? I … huh?
@richardsanchez5444 11 ай бұрын
Did she serve sausages for dinner?
@bengardener8928 11 ай бұрын
@@richardsanchez5444 Well they're the only thing she has in the freezer, and the oven!
@richardsanchez5444 11 ай бұрын
@@bengardener8928 niceeee
@st4rm4st3r 10 ай бұрын
the ceiling fan one i just imagine that kid screaming like Sr. Pelo as he gets picked up by his shaft and swung around by the fan as it falls down on top of him...and i can't stop laughing... 😂😂😂
@st4rm4st3r 10 ай бұрын
@OfficialWhang. I know this is a scam comment, but the timing to me was just too funny 🤣
@fahsky 11 ай бұрын
This video has made a terrible day end on a hilariously high note, thank you Whang! 'Nut putters' is a new phrase I will most definitely somehow use in the future.
@user-vf8yr6hh1u 11 ай бұрын
I'm a girl, so I don't have a ween, but even if I did, I could not imagine doing anywhere near the shit these guys allegedly did. Like, I don't even have one and I'm wincing at the thought of it.
@emptyemptiness8372 11 ай бұрын
...and if you were a guy you could imagine it....and pretend you would never have done that when you were young....but only because you didn't think of it. Guy secrets, you are not meant to know.....just like we pretend while we did crap like this you weren't banging every older guy you could.
@Fo-Flats 9 ай бұрын
But if you did have a wee wee then your brain would have also been put in backwards and upside down. Which would lead you to at least consider doing sketchy things with it. 😅
@kalobhunt9001 11 ай бұрын
Holy crap the incredible machine was a deep cut for me. Played it so damn much.
@JustinWhangYt 11 ай бұрын
Such an addictive series but largely forgotten about
@WineScrounger 11 ай бұрын
@@JustinWhangYtI love contraption games. Bad Piggies took a year of my life istg
@Cooe. 11 ай бұрын
Incredible Toon Machine was the best of the IM games, IMO.
@rebel6301 11 ай бұрын
i've never heard of incredible machine before until today, and now i want to learn more. educate me fellowship of the whangers
@Mushroomhead671 10 ай бұрын
I love how Whang’s current set is very classy. Really fits with the absurd stories he tells.
@Mushroomhead671 10 ай бұрын
@OfficialWhang. REAL???
@kristinecollier9155 10 ай бұрын
I LOVE the room you are in!! The nightstands/end tables are amazing! That chair is gorgeous! Is everything an antique in there? It's just a gorgeous room!!!
@DjDeadpig 11 ай бұрын
Redditors and the word story have really changed the course of internet humour multiple times, to the point where it’s almost embarrassing that most OG internet humour is just redditors doing crazy shit with objects like the cumbox.
@yep9462 11 ай бұрын
Before them it was guys on Something Awful doing incredibly dumb things.
@Wolfiegreenwood 11 ай бұрын
Improvised pocket kitties? What could possibly go wrong?
@Benjiroyoface 11 ай бұрын
especially of the high-powered variety
@FrostyMantleM 11 ай бұрын
I don't like where this new Bubsy game is heading
@rebel6301 11 ай бұрын
now i've heard of improvised explosive devices, but improvised pocket kitties are arguably scarier.
@MarvelleBanks 11 ай бұрын
I audibly screamed when the other shoe dropped during the telling of this last story! Love your vids man! You do such a great and thorough job with the recounting of these internet tales! lol
@maybenatalie2624 11 ай бұрын
The memory foam story gave me the WORST coconut flashbacks.
@gunnstash 11 ай бұрын
Enjoying a quiet Sunday afternoon getting drunk by myself and here comes Whang trying to snap my brain in half
@darksu6947 11 ай бұрын
George Thorogood would be proud of you! 🎶 I drink alone, I prefer to be by myself 🎶
@strippinheat 11 ай бұрын
Your ability to tell these stories as well as your use of stock footage and sound effects are what make them palatable.
@leonardowashere5440 7 ай бұрын
moral of this and many similar stories: DON’T make you’re own “toys”
@cuntdork 9 ай бұрын
I love the background in this video. Those wooden pillars with the Tiffany style glass are stunning! I really want to get some of those.
@randomdudebro8892 11 ай бұрын
The one with the drill had me flatlining in agony.
@xXSlMdcXx 11 ай бұрын
This is the first time I have ever legit cried watching your videos. The first story was so horrific i felt little tears come out. I love your channel btw.
@thighmeat6034 11 ай бұрын
100 or so little tears on the glove😭
@xXSlMdcXx 11 ай бұрын
😭
@zackzittel7683 11 ай бұрын
When the title said “toys” I was thinking frisbees made from circular saw blades or giant lawn darts……. Maybe these are just fond memories from my childhood.
@qwertydog9795 11 ай бұрын
this man having the name Whang while also uploading so much sex-mishap related content is god tier
@sherman1476 11 ай бұрын
Just found that my dog had just died today, watching this video just cheered me up lol. Love you Olive, you have been a good boy all these years ❤
@JordanVanek 11 ай бұрын
R.I.P. Olive. The best boy.
@astraldirectrix 11 ай бұрын
RIP Olive, run free in the afterlife 💚
@Klausinator451 11 ай бұрын
Sorry to hear that. You name her after "Olive, the other reindeer?"
@sherman1476 11 ай бұрын
@@Klausinator451 No I named my boy Olive because he was a black pug, cuz some olives are black I guess. A ton of people thought that he was named after Olive Oil from Popeye the Sailor Man haha.
@husky0098 11 ай бұрын
You know you loved a dog when a video about people mutilating their genitals makes you happy after their passing
@IMortalNemesisI 11 ай бұрын
This was a difficult one to sit through for me. wtf is wrong with redditors?
@AL-lh2ht 11 ай бұрын
Reddit is just a website of communities. Basically Reddit is just a nexus of the greater internet as a whole
@sniedendepoes 11 ай бұрын
@@AL-lh2htNo, Redditors are very much the same neurotic moralists in every subreddit
@UJCammy 11 ай бұрын
I listen to these videos in the background while I work and I just wanna say that your choice in sound effects makes me imagine all these scenarios as Ren & Stimpy scenes
@thirdlegstalliano 11 ай бұрын
I love Salvador Whang! He's ruined so many meals for me that I've lost 30 pounds and am no longer in danger of developing type 2 sugarbetes. Thanks Salvador Whang!
@Ohmloud 11 ай бұрын
Whang is wearing saftyglases to protect his eyes, from his own moustache.. thats dedication! 😁
@withertoneultraluxxx 11 ай бұрын
your choices of stock photos and footage for title cards are always a guaranteed laugh.
@dud3655 11 ай бұрын
Whenever Whang uploads, I get myself a bag of popcorn to munch on, and make sure I am in the optimal spot in my room that allows me to reach the bathroom faster.
@RobewhO 10 ай бұрын
You kickstarted a wave of memories I had totally forgotten about just by mentioning The Incredible Machine. Man I loved that game series so much.
@littledreamerrem7021 11 ай бұрын
It's a good day when Whang uploads.
@brokenfoxproductions 11 ай бұрын
I'm just laughing my ass off, eating Oreos, listening to Justin Wang talk about foreskins. 😂😂😂
@privateassman8839 10 ай бұрын
4:10 it depends. Dress socks and soft fabric work well. Stay away from towels, burlap, and work socks though
@StanimalKingdom 7 ай бұрын
10:50 "try not to but sometimes nut into it, then stopped caring and did it every time" -(And as for matter not being created nor destroyed) i did this same thing with my girlfriend and that's why i now have a 6 year old
@DwayneIsKing 11 ай бұрын
10:02 Whang. I REFUSE to believe that after all the stuff you've seen in the name of research for this channel that you didn't know the sponge, glove, and cup method 😭💀. I mean in terms of iceberg terminology, that homemade fleshlight is literally at the very top because I thought everyone knew about it 💀. That's like Penguinz0 not knowing what Moist meant 😂
@memesfromdeepspace1075 11 ай бұрын
He make it obiusly so he don't label as perfert.....he know from beginilah
@DwayneIsKing 11 ай бұрын
@@memesfromdeepspace1075 lol what? I'm sorry brotha I had a hard time reading that. What is beginilah?
@theunderstatement6842 11 ай бұрын
@@memesfromdeepspace1075 my attempt at a translation: he obviously says that so he's not labeled as a pervert.. he knew from the beginning
@DwayneIsKing 11 ай бұрын
@theunderstatement6842 mmmmmm. That's EXACTLY what he meant. Appreciate the help brotha 💪🏿
@DwayneIsKing 11 ай бұрын
@theunderstatement6842 and tbh, lol I don't think that Whang would even fathom or care about that since he's talked about WAY worse stuff 🤣
@Sentient.A.I. 11 ай бұрын
the venom origin story they don't want you to know about. omg so gross
@Sthingray 5 ай бұрын
Dude I always love the tracks you have in the background. Hearing battle block theater made me wanna comment about it
@jasper_serpent3099 11 ай бұрын
The titles all have me saying, "it can't be that bad" and then it's worse.
@animatepokemonadventures7889 11 ай бұрын
10:11 should not have made me laugh as hard as it did
@NIgHTMaReFortyTwo 11 ай бұрын
I dunno, your display pic and username kind of scream autism so I guess when you take that into consideration I can understand
@GippyHappy 11 ай бұрын
I’m sorry the funniest part is people telling a guy to post pictures of his penis (to see the scars, of course) and him saying no, not because he has a sense of dignity (he willingly posted this information, and said it out loud in front of people at the hospital, after all) but, obviously, because he doesn’t want to be recognized. By his penis.
@joggernerd8148 11 ай бұрын
Thank you Justin for going east on the last story. I almost had to shut the video off because of the first two.
@Slash27015 11 ай бұрын
Reminds me of once duct taping a fleshlight to a fan and thinking it'd be a good idea. It blew.
@poultrylord7300 11 ай бұрын
Whang leaving in the laughs makes it even better lol
@CountGremlin 11 ай бұрын
I never laughed so hard at one of your videos, watching this in the community laundry room was definitely a good gamble 😂😂😂 Thank you Whang
@salacca2297 11 ай бұрын
I got a yeast infection in my foreskin from antibiotics that made it swell, itch, dry out and crack and bleed. I also didn't wash caulking from my hands before pissing and got an extreme rash/chemical burn on my foreskin which also made it swell, crack and bleed. Being uncircumcised sucks sometimes.
@markveena9900 11 ай бұрын
Shoot, I'd rather have that choice myself then it forced on me. Sorry to hear that, man hope your doing better now.
Whang!
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Whang!
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