The listings have been open for over 9 years.

Onion Then: Video Onion Now: This Comment

@@detrockcity3 thats sad

4 PM ?

@@soap9373 He's saying the Onion is not as big as it used to be

you're joking right?

@@gv2807 he's not, im not seeing people sneaking bombs to an airport to test the security of airports, good old news.

@@gv2807 Yes. You need to work on your Sarcasm Detector.

they don't make journalists anymore like they used to

@@lm_b5080 there’s a shortage of material to make a proper journalist right now.

Not quite, but $300 is a pretty good price range

I went to their site and couldn't find them.

My sister's DARE textbook included instructions on how to grow pot, or disguise shrooms and extacy. It was actually supposed to be a police training manual on what to look for / suspect just given straight to highschoolers without any significant alteration (I assume they just made it easier to read) edit: it wasn't DARE, just a regular health class

@@zwickflixproductions4379 and a link to where you can buy them

@@pretzelbomb6105 lol

I would think so

You're absolutely right

We have to worry about pre-diabetic terrorists too?! Omg I'm never flying again.

​@@palmerjacob39THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! 😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇 PUT YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS ON WHICH HE SHED HIS BLOOD FOR OUR FORGIVENESS OF SINS AND HEALING BECAUSE YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO HAVE GOD'S TRUE FORGIVENESS OF SIN and TRUE HEALING and TRUE PEACE and TRUE REST FOR YOUR SOUL AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST BY WHICH HE ROSE AGAIN TO GIVE US HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND IN HIS ASCENSION TO THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD OUR FATHER AFTER WHICH HE SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT TO US YOU AND ME DID WE MAY ALL BE ABLE TO BELIEVE AND TRUST AND KNOW THAT GOD IS TRUE AND REAL AND EXISTS AND BE BORN AGAIN BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST WHO CONVICTS US OF OUR SINS END OF THE JUDGMENT OF THE WORLD AND THE RIGHTEOUSNESS WHICH IS IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD FOR IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS (NOT OUR OWN WORKS BUT HIS) THAT WE CAN EVEN BE MADE RIGHTEOUS AT ALL BEFORE GOD THE FATHER FOR OUR SINS ARE MANY BUT GOD RICH IN MERCY SENT HIS SON JESUS CHRIST WHO IS GOD HIMSELF IN HUMAN FORM YET WITHOUT SIN TO BE THE PERFECT SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS TO TAKE THE PUNISHMENT THAT WE DESERVED FOR OUR SINS UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE COULD BE FORGIVEN AND BE SPARED GOD'S WRATH FOR OUR SINS AND INSTEAD BE JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD AND HAVE HIS SALVATION AND HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND NO LONGER FEAR THE STING OF DEATH AND FEAR GOING TO HELL BUT INSTEAD REMAIN AT REST IN GOD THROUGH CHRIST BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH ABIDING GOD'S TRUE REST AND TRUE PEACE WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING AND IN GOD'S THE FULL OF ASSURANCE OF SALVATION KNOWING THAT WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE (AND THOUGH OUR FLESHLY BODIES WON'T LAST FOREVER) OUR SOULS WILL GO ON AND LIVE FOREVER AND GO TO HEAVEN TO BE HOME WITH GOD OUR FATHER AND NOT DIE AND GO TO HELL FOR OUR SINS FOR FOR WE WHO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST AND BELIEVE INTO JESUS CHRIST THE ROCK OF OUR SALVATION OUR TRUE SAVIOR, AND LORD, AND OUR TRUE HUSBAND, HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OF ALL OUR SINS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE IN JESUS CHRIST BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AND WE KNOW THIS BY HIS HOLY SPIRIT WHOM HE GOD HAS GIVEN US AS A SEAL AND TESTIMONY TO TESTIFY TO US THAT WE BELONG TO CHRIST AND ARE SAVED IN CHRIST JESUS BY THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD WHICH HE SHED FOR US UPON HIS CROSS IN JESUS NAME I DECLARE THIS OVER YOU AMEN! AMEN! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!

THERE'S A GOD WHO LOVES YOU BRO! FATHER GOD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!!!! HE LOVES YOU!!!! JESUS CHRIST LOVES YOU!!! HOLY SPIRIT LOVES YOU!!!! PLEASE SEEK GOD OUT WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART AND YOU WILL FIND HIM AND HE WILL SHOW AND REVEAL HIMSELF TO YOU!!!!! JUST ASK HIM!!!! PRAY AND ASK JESUS INTO YOUR HEART BRO!!!!!! 😇✝️❤️🙌👏🙏👍🙂😊👍🙌❤️✝️😇 PUT YOUR FAITH AND TRUST IN JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS ON WHICH HE SHED HIS BLOOD FOR OUR FORGIVENESS OF SINS AND HEALING BECAUSE YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO HAVE GOD'S TRUE FORGIVENESS OF SIN and TRUE HEALING and TRUE PEACE and TRUE REST FOR YOUR SOUL AND TRUST AND BELIEVE IN HIS RESURRECTION BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST BY WHICH HE ROSE AGAIN TO GIVE US HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND IN HIS ASCENSION TO THE RIGHT HAND OF GOD OUR FATHER AFTER WHICH HE SENT THE HOLY SPIRIT TO US YOU AND ME DID WE MAY ALL BE ABLE TO BELIEVE AND TRUST AND KNOW THAT GOD IS TRUE AND REAL AND EXISTS AND BE BORN AGAIN BY THE POWER OF THE HOLY GHOST WHO CONVICTS US OF OUR SINS END OF THE JUDGMENT OF THE WORLD AND THE RIGHTEOUSNESS WHICH IS IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD FOR IT IS ONLY THROUGH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST AND HIS FINISHED WORK UPON THE CROSS (NOT OUR OWN WORKS BUT HIS) THAT WE CAN EVEN BE MADE RIGHTEOUS AT ALL BEFORE GOD THE FATHER FOR OUR SINS ARE MANY BUT GOD RICH IN MERCY SENT HIS SON JESUS CHRIST WHO IS GOD HIMSELF IN HUMAN FORM YET WITHOUT SIN TO BE THE PERFECT SACRIFICE FOR OUR SINS TO TAKE THE PUNISHMENT THAT WE DESERVED FOR OUR SINS UPON HIMSELF SO THAT WE COULD BE FORGIVEN AND BE SPARED GOD'S WRATH FOR OUR SINS AND INSTEAD BE JUSTIFIED BEFORE GOD AND HAVE HIS SALVATION AND HIS ETERNAL EVERLASTING LIFE AND NO LONGER FEAR THE STING OF DEATH AND FEAR GOING TO HELL BUT INSTEAD REMAIN AT REST IN GOD THROUGH CHRIST BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH ABIDING GOD'S TRUE REST AND TRUE PEACE WHICH SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING AND IN GOD'S THE FULL OF ASSURANCE OF SALVATION KNOWING THAT WE HAVE ETERNAL LIFE (AND THOUGH OUR FLESHLY BODIES WON'T LAST FOREVER) OUR SOULS WILL GO ON AND LIVE FOREVER AND GO TO HEAVEN TO BE HOME WITH GOD OUR FATHER AND NOT DIE AND GO TO HELL FOR OUR SINS FOR FOR WE WHO HAVE FAITH AND TRUST AND BELIEVE INTO JESUS CHRIST THE ROCK OF OUR SALVATION OUR TRUE SAVIOR, AND LORD, AND OUR TRUE HUSBAND, HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN OF ALL OUR SINS PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE IN JESUS CHRIST BY THE BLOOD OF CHRIST AND WE KNOW THIS BY HIS HOLY SPIRIT WHOM HE GOD HAS GIVEN US AS A SEAL AND TESTIMONY TO TESTIFY TO US THAT WE BELONG TO CHRIST AND ARE SAVED IN CHRIST JESUS BY THE POWER OF HIS BLOOD WHICH HE SHED FOR US UPON HIS CROSS IN JESUS NAME I DECLARE THIS OVER YOU AMEN! AMEN! HALLELUJAH! PRAISE GOD!

You could say its heavenly

ZhangtheGreat, did you get better?

@@patientestant he's ok but he died

Undereted comment , very sad !!!

My condolences would be with your family, had you dieded.

*woman

*woman (singular) women = plural It's like "man" vs "men," but with wo- added on the front.

*piss whipping The guy took out his wiener and smacked her wit it

*thats just chilling*

@@csgrambauer5852 *No one cares*

It's the right thing to do. These horrible security lapses must be exposed or even more people may die. I personally knew one of the people on this flight, and as heartbroken as I am over losing Aunt Betty, I couldn't live with myself if I knew that this lax security was allowed to continue.

@@pltatman1 they just murdered 271 people ATLEAST NOT REALLY DETONATE THE BOMB YOU KILLED 271 POEPLE YOU COULD HAVE JUST STOPPED THE BOM BEFORE IT DETONATED AND TO SELL THE PARTS PF OT ALLOWING MORE DAMAGE AFTERWARDS ITS HORRIBLE

@@wolfhunt8400 Water under the bridge. Or people floating under the bridge? I don't know, I'm not good at metaphors.

@@wolfhunt8400 If those people were alive now, they'd be complaining about lax security just like the rest of us. Can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs. Unless you use those eggs that come in the pourable carton. I can't buy that stuff though, it freaks me out.

Brilliant work by those journalists. RIP to all those innocents who died though. Terrible how the TSA security could do something so heinous ❤️ prayers go out to the families.

They're blowing up because people have finally had enough of the fake news featuring boring topics that shows up on CNN and the like... The Onion knows that if you're going to completely fabricate news articles, at least make them top notch entertainment... I vote we give the airport news contract to The Onion!!

@@Honest_Grifter don't forget FOX

Fox has nothing on CNN, the reigning kings of fake news.

@@FrogWalrus Statistics have shown Fox News to voice opinions/lies than facts twice more than CNN. So both suck, but Fox news should be glad they're the biggest lie out there.

@@IHateKZfaqHandlesVeryMuch No they haven't. You need to source that, or I'm calling your bias. CNN has entire compilation videos dedicated to them cutting people off that go against their narrative. MSNBC, NBC, CBS, and Fox combined have less inaccuracies than CNN. The whole Fox News is more biased perception seems to be based around the opinions of their conservative political commentators, and not the actual information being introduced in news segments.

😂😂😂😂😂

Yep

Buddy u alive ?

God bless her soul! She was a wonderful wife and mother. D:

*planting my reply in this 13yo relic of a comment*

Truly dedicated. And they went into the field instead of reposting old news with a clickbait title.

Now that’s what I call proper investigative terrorism!

Bruh I found you again lmao, hello from beamng forums

Making your own news

@@nvlkaaskop4340 LOL

A rare sight indeed. A comment with 3.2k likes and no responses.

These reports havent met southerners lol

@@hotstuffwatcher woosh

So, British English? :D

@@SA2004YG nah b u got wooshed

@@Reydrielthe British speak with more of an accent than America does.

Tell me about it. I was only 24/25.

@@aaronmarks9366 Nearly everyone was younger then.

@@diyimprover6887 "Nearly" lmao

DIY Improver I want the unaging potion too man

@@aaronmarks9366 In 2007 I was 10.

Social expierment* pranks are dead

The Salt Merchant Two year old comment.

Wreethee Faaangs they we're dead two years ago

The Salt Merchant Just like all those people on the plane

Wreethee Faaangs Not intentionally, I don't think I did there.

Reply 11 years later?

@@urielcobo-cuisana2316 reply 3 days later?

@@charteon9092 I’m replying 3 months later

@@miekwavesoundlab 4 hours, up your game

Hi

Your teacher seems nice

My old government teacher would show us SNL skits, but the old ones that were actually funny and not the shitty new ones

My old social studies teacher made us read 3 onion articles for class once, and asked us after if we thought anything was weird about them. I wasn't suspicious until the 3rd one that said "90% of Americans don't give a fuck".

@@augustoliver715 you weren’t reading good enough onion articles to not be suspicious just by the title

@@BlackCowboy0 Yeah I think he chose some less suspect ones. I think the last one was pretty suspicious but we were also in like 6th or 7th grade at the time so we were all a little dumb.

First reply after 252 likes and 5 months.

son tang if only dislikes worked

yes cause it has the word plane in the title, thats why you got a delta ad

@@notjered8911 no shit sherlock

It would have been gansta if it had been a Continental ad.

hamza abid kill em all and let Obama sort them out

Oh sorry, typo. It's not "my friend," but "my father" rather.

@@kendog84bsc is this a joke?

@@wolfhunt8400 airport security is never a joke.

Your friend's wife is a hero. 14 years later and I can't imagine the lives saved by her.

That was the best part

That’s actually adorable lol. That’s hilarious

She wasn't laughing? Maybe she thought it was real.

@nirvgorilla I find the onion very humorous and entertaining, but I don't neccesarily laugh out loud while watching/ listening. Same with movies/TV. It takes a lot to make most people vocally laugh out loud from media and entertainment

@@br_andn very true. Perhaps it's even just down to the type of comedy you watch; clever jokes are more of a slow burn that you can long after return to in your mind for a bit of enjoyment. Also I think it's so sweet that you remember watching media near/with your mother. I had the same thing with my father who was rather stoic and yet loved watching romcoms like 'I Love Lucy'.

cobradragon4373 94%

I think that's the job of the Government Accountability Office. They conduct sting operations to see if government agencies are actually being diligent and doing their jobs.

A news network that goes the extra mile

And the flight attendants did nothing about it

They smuggled it inside of the bomb.

@@Twigpi how do you hide the bomb? The answer is inside the box magazine of your m249 machine gun that they allowed you to take on the flight because it's your "emotional support machine gun". Works every time

It’s America, you can buy pistols as fucking souvenirs at the flight stand

@@isobutyl No you can't buy firearms at an airport, and you can't take firearms onto a plane.

Isaac Bruner I was exaggerating bro, chill Tf out . Also yes you can have firearms on planes, there’s paperwork and licensing for it and you even have to bring it in its own special locked casing to make sure it isn’t tampered with during the flight

how could it easily have been a bomb lmao

@@Kushufy You have a brain inside your head. Use it.

@@Kushufy Because a duffel bag is big enough to hide a bomb in; this implies that the duffel bag was not allowed because it did not contain a bomb, but rather that if it did contain a bomb, it could have been brought as well.

*nervously laughs*

Don't worry there's plenty of horrible shit to fill your weekend with. There are still plenty of Iraqi hospitals left unbombed, American schools yet unshot, sidewalk-crossing grannies to trip, candies to lace with razor blades, etc. Come on man, get creative! There's plenty of wholesome activities to do with your family.

@@jonathanallard2128 you seem to have all the fun ideas for a family weekend

@@kritishrivastava3602 Yes I have two daughters and we do these very often. It's family bonding time, very wholesome. Audrey is so smart you should see how she found a more subtle way to steal puppies from homeless people without getting caught! She's just so sweet!

Such a disgusted display of unintelligible people, spitting on the sacrifice the ONN reporters gave. To open the eyes of all Americans to the disatisfactory and poor security measures of the TSA. Thanks to the onion we are safer than ever. God bless America and her g@ys.

These are the same folk who tell people about their own surprise birthday parties

hi chamuuemura, have you become a flat earther yet?

Well, that plane was not technically destroyed by a bomb

2020 is so freaking bad that I can literally not for the life of me remember what happened when this was posted

@@AMalas same

@@AMalas apparently a plane was shot down in iran :(

@@AMalas just here in the future to remind ya that 2021 aint much better

That joke really didn''t land

This joke is the bomb.

It seems the others have hijacked your joke.

Explosive revelations.

I Can't think of a name it would get rid of the reporters *and* expose security weaknesses. Two birds with one stone!

In reality it probably wouldn't, the idea behind modern flight security isn't "detect bombs before they get on the flight" it's "jam up the sheer amount of things that really don't do anything but look like they do, so people feel safe. " so they would really just make the equipment more fancy increase checks on people and not introduce new equipment that stops what caused the bombs to be smuggled in the first place. Even if they did get new equipment to stop that bombing, they need to think about other ways we could be attacked and prevent them. Edit: I only thought about this after, how many people have you seen saying something like 'oh whenever I go on flights I get woried that I somehow smuggled a bomb' that means that the airport security is too threating and not even good at what they do anyway.

@@Dnznxbebwushdn I agree but tsa just killed 271 people just NOT DETONATE THE FREAKING BOMB WHAT YOU DID BEFORE WAS ENOUGH TO SHOW AIRLINES LACK PF SECURITY JEUSUS PLEASE TOSS THOSE BASTARDS INTP HELL

John Oliver isn't a real journalist, but he once set up a church called "Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption" to test how easy it was to start a religious nonprofit and fleece people for money (as televangelists do).

If reporters did that, those Columbian cocaine dealers wont let cameras inside their farms anymore.

The page you were seeking burned down. The Cambodian sweatshop where every letter of The Onion is hand-stitched onto the internet recently burned to the ground, claiming the lives of hundreds of underage laborers and webpages. The URL you were looking for was tragically among those lost.