Revamp your sex life in 6 minutes | Ruth Ramsay | TEDxDaltVila

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TEDx Talks

TEDx Talks

11 ай бұрын

Is there a simple mindset shift that can radically improve our sex lives? One which can apply whatever our circumstances, experience or preferences? Yes! Sex coach Ruth Ramsay shares this shift, and how its ramifications go way beyond increasing our pleasure. Ruth Ramsay is an adult sex educator and coach. She helps people understand who they are sexually, how their bodies and minds work, what they need and desire, and how to communicate that. Her style is upbeat, shame-free and pleasure-led.
Ruth holds a coaching diploma backed with vast life experience. She won an Erotic Award for campaigning for the sexual rights of people with disabilities; was a striptease artist for 14 years; teaches exotic dance; and has been a sex journalist, activist and more. Her mission is for sexual energy to be recognised as a force for good. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 861
@ssmufc9941
@ssmufc9941 2 күн бұрын
Sad thing is, this video will end up in the recommended feed of more men than women. Women in general, especially in marriage, need to hear this.
@baldeagle5835
@baldeagle5835 10 ай бұрын
Variety with a partner you love and respect can bring you to a level of trust and excitement unimaginable.
@PriscilaHancock
@PriscilaHancock 10 ай бұрын
I took Ruth's course a few months ago then had a 1:1 session recently and it has simply been life changing. I feel so connected with my husband of 18 years but also much happier and fulfilled in other areas of life - family, work, friendships. Thank you Ruth xxx
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
Thank you @PriscilaHancock - it's been my honour to help.
@markcavandish1295
@markcavandish1295 10 ай бұрын
I am absolutely looking up her course material. Thanks!
@RiverDogRun
@RiverDogRun 10 ай бұрын
How appropriate- I hit the 69th like.
@ToggleSwitch808
@ToggleSwitch808 10 ай бұрын
❤❤❤
@tnix80
@tnix80 10 ай бұрын
She literally said nothing
@lewashcliffe
@lewashcliffe 10 ай бұрын
God, I wish I'd heard this talk when my wife was still alive and healthy. I would have shared this with her and could have helped us avoid so much emotional pain.
@TerryTibbs57
@TerryTibbs57 9 ай бұрын
God bless you brother
@raymondotoole2600
@raymondotoole2600 2 ай бұрын
You’ll see her when your time is right and you can have a conversation with her. Keep your chin up ! use this energy and see if there’s something else with someone.
@HerminiePA
@HerminiePA Ай бұрын
Mae West said, "if I got married, I'd have to give up my hobby." I expected this talk to be more like that.
@ermonnezzasoio
@ermonnezzasoio 4 ай бұрын
The best and more natural advices on this topic I´ve ever heard in my life!!
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 3 ай бұрын
Thank you! I'm pleased you enjoyed it.
@billpetersen298
@billpetersen298 10 ай бұрын
For the hobby method to work. Both partners have to have, a reasonable level of interest already. I’m many relationships, one partner will try anything, the other won’t even talk about it.
@donnieearlharrisjr5941
@donnieearlharrisjr5941 10 ай бұрын
Amen!!
@grote__julia
@grote__julia 10 ай бұрын
Sounds like incompatibility to me!
@hanspersson9451
@hanspersson9451 10 ай бұрын
​@@grote__juliasounds like 3 kids and 20 years together to me...
@grote__julia
@grote__julia 10 ай бұрын
@@hanspersson9451 seems like that long together would lead to better communication skills!
@hanspersson9451
@hanspersson9451 10 ай бұрын
@@grote__julia That too is something that requires a mutual interest. Life sometimes gets complicated along the way.
@wisewomansexuality
@wisewomansexuality 10 ай бұрын
I love how the idea of asking our partner what they feel interested in doing the day in their hobby takes all the expectations away I might have on my partner and keeping it simple! Well said.
@richardpauly1635
@richardpauly1635 10 ай бұрын
Nice pic I bet you keep your partner happy
@1964JEDAGI
@1964JEDAGI 4 ай бұрын
The planning part is easy. Every morning before breakfast. Every evening before sleep, and random times during the day.
@simaroyaich-kf2vu
@simaroyaich-kf2vu 10 ай бұрын
Completely agree with you...even Without changing our partner we may play better if we slightly change our priority👍
@kyf3557
@kyf3557 10 ай бұрын
Thanks Ruth, well worded. It’s how I think about it, but didn’t have the words. This will help many❤
@ebonyblack4563
@ebonyblack4563 7 ай бұрын
I know someone who's treated it like this for a long time, he and his polycule are some of the most open people about their needs I've ever known, and that goes far beyond their 'play'. Their levels of communication and respect for boundaries is phenomenal, if someone isn't in the mindset to handle something in the moment they understand how to handle that and return to the topic when they're better grounded for it. Nothing is completely off limits as long as it's approached respectfully and calmly. It's amazing being around people who truly are comfortable with sharing everything about themselves with their partners, it's a thing worth working toward for anyone in a relationship where that level of intimacy is avaliable.
@RustyKnorr
@RustyKnorr 6 ай бұрын
Polycule? Really? Did you just get that on Wordle and had to look it up, and now you have to use it every chance you get? FFS 🤦‍♂️
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 6 ай бұрын
Great to hear. Poly people and kink people tend to be super-hot on communication, openness and enthusiastic consent. The mainstream world could learn so much from them!
@ebonyblack4563
@ebonyblack4563 6 ай бұрын
@@ruthramsay_ Absolutely Agree! That's been my experience being on the fringes of both communities too. The level of interest they expect before engaging in something is a big part of it. If they can't be sure you're really there for whatever they're patient and understanding in a way that was really healing to me after having been in an abusive relationship as a teen; it helped reframe many things into a much healthier place.
@joshuapinter
@joshuapinter 10 ай бұрын
Couldn't agree more and such a perfect analogy to remove the stigma from thinking and talking about it. Great job!
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 9 ай бұрын
thank you, I'm so glad you liked it!
@amandahurrell7399
@amandahurrell7399 10 ай бұрын
Brilliant Ruth- a really important message. Thank you x
@AschPintura
@AschPintura 10 ай бұрын
YES RUTH. THATS MY FRIEND 😭😭 being the intelligent legend that she is 💜💜💜 follow her, BOOK HER COURSE. You will never find a safer space discussing these topics than you will with Ruth
@louiseday3660
@louiseday3660 10 ай бұрын
Ruth this is so amazing!!! You spoke so well x
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
Thank you Louise 🙂
@hsk2978
@hsk2978 10 ай бұрын
if you want to get better in tennis, you can't play with the same person every time 😅
@_paper_chase_
@_paper_chase_ 10 ай бұрын
Facts! 😂😂
@quazzydiscman
@quazzydiscman 10 ай бұрын
That's absolutely not true... Clearly you don't know much about "tennis" 😂
@Qeybdiid25
@Qeybdiid25 10 ай бұрын
Haraam
@gabi_cnd
@gabi_cnd 10 ай бұрын
You can. But the other person has to put time and interest in the tennis journey too. You can find a new way of seeing a tennis match if your partner is willing to do some changes too, and try new things. We don't need different people, we need different mindsets. Tho, it's good to try playing with people that are open minded, so you can learn how to play and find joy in the journey
@gijsleffelaar908
@gijsleffelaar908 10 ай бұрын
Mixed double is the best game.😅
@emmatownsend9259
@emmatownsend9259 10 ай бұрын
Totally inspirational talk from an very inspirational woman. Amazing stuff Ruth ❤
@richardpauly1635
@richardpauly1635 10 ай бұрын
Nice pic I bet you keep your men happy
@BloobUbloobok
@BloobUbloobok 8 ай бұрын
I have realized that is exactly what I was doing last several years , but I did not have words to explain, nice approach, thanks. 🙂
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 8 ай бұрын
Thank you, I'm glad it gave you the words to describe your approach.
@gipvision6937
@gipvision6937 7 ай бұрын
Step 1: find a partner
@tingting6889
@tingting6889 Ай бұрын
Thats asking alot these days haha
@kevinfocht6982
@kevinfocht6982 Ай бұрын
😂
@nickthompson1812
@nickthompson1812 7 күн бұрын
Step 1: improve yourself and your appearance Step 2: partners find you
@larrymendoza2570
@larrymendoza2570 5 ай бұрын
Bravo! Positive, exceptional advice - I like that view! Thank you
@slipperybeastaviationfishingsh
@slipperybeastaviationfishingsh 10 ай бұрын
Very well explained and informative accurate video. Thank you for sharing
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
I am glad you found it useful, thank you for your feedback 🙂
@healingwomanhood
@healingwomanhood 7 ай бұрын
Brilliant talk! So beneficial to be able to communicate openly and overcome the shame.
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 7 ай бұрын
thank you! So glad to hear you enjoyed it.
@user-zf3ed4oo6g
@user-zf3ed4oo6g 10 ай бұрын
Great stuff Ruth!!❤❤❤
@cathyhoughton5016
@cathyhoughton5016 10 ай бұрын
Amazingly well done Ruth, so proud of you!!!!
@richardpauly1635
@richardpauly1635 10 ай бұрын
Nice pic
@gregglockhart9551
@gregglockhart9551 10 ай бұрын
Thanks! I appreciate you!
@fredziarz
@fredziarz 10 ай бұрын
My Love and I do the exact thing and have the exact attitude as she says. I feel so good that we follow unconsciously those best practices.
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
That's great to hear!
@JeuanS
@JeuanS 3 ай бұрын
Want to live the dreams, Mr Pool
@shynickel8239
@shynickel8239 10 ай бұрын
Have been a practioneer of this idea for 50 years, she is correct.
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
Thank you for sharing your life experience, that's great to hear!
@kevinmichael4829
@kevinmichael4829 9 ай бұрын
Thanks for your advice. I’ve since started a tennis league. I have matches all week long now.
@ananascarpenter
@ananascarpenter 10 ай бұрын
Interesting and inspiring approach❣
@mughalische
@mughalische 10 ай бұрын
Totally makes sense, thanks for revamping.
@manueljiza
@manueljiza 10 ай бұрын
"We just hope we'll spontaneously want it at the same time"
@djdavidphillips
@djdavidphillips 10 ай бұрын
Awesome Ruth I'm so happy this is out there. Well done xx
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
@djdavidphillips thank you so much. A TEDx talk from you next??
@mayankoza352
@mayankoza352 10 ай бұрын
Great talk with relatable examples.. 🙌🏻
@aaronunroe5267
@aaronunroe5267 10 ай бұрын
What an amazing presentation
@kennethreynolds8
@kennethreynolds8 5 ай бұрын
Good analogy Ruth, even experienced couples can get better with a little good coaching.
@Relicarious
@Relicarious 10 ай бұрын
Such an excellent reframing! Thank you. I was nearly there, as are many of the people I know, but mostly by happenstance - and you just delivered the recipe. I think a bit of scheduling and calling for some training sessions for the upcoming season would be cause for laughs - important! - and simply quite a lot of joy in these parts. I don't think it was mentioned in your talk but there is something powerful in converting expectation (with all the fraughts and perils) into anticipation and excitement (let's see what happens Tuesday).
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
@Relicarious yes! I love that - converting expectation into anticipation. There were hundreds... thousands... more things I'd have loved to say in the talk, but I only had six minutes. Next time! So glad you enjoyed it, thank you for sharing your thoughts.
@Relicarious
@Relicarious 10 ай бұрын
​@@ruthramsay_ I bet there was! And that conversion speaks to a lot of things also from the wisdom of Emily Nagoski - I assume you are familiar, if not, you will find something there with which I bet you will align very well - and for me is about moving out of the critical mindset and make space for creaticity and exploration. "Next time", you say - Yes! I will look forward to more of what you wish to share.
@SeaThatPilot
@SeaThatPilot 10 ай бұрын
Amazing Ruth. ❤❤
@huub245
@huub245 10 ай бұрын
Nothing short of genius. Thanks for the knowledge.
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
@huub245 so happy it landed so well for you. Enjoy putting it into practice!
@AA-qg2hu
@AA-qg2hu 10 ай бұрын
Looking at Ruth’s collar 👀🧐
@erikschaepers
@erikschaepers 10 ай бұрын
Brilliant comparison ..! Thank you
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
I'm glad you liked it - thank you for commenting 🙂
@adventurecoalition3690
@adventurecoalition3690 10 ай бұрын
Great analogy
@infantnelson9356
@infantnelson9356 Ай бұрын
Amazingly conveyed❤❤,
@Vladimir_osteo
@Vladimir_osteo 10 ай бұрын
Thank you! Wonderful comparing🎉
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
I'm glad you found it a useful watch 🙂
@alihendrycoaching350
@alihendrycoaching350 10 ай бұрын
Absolutely love this reframe! Thank you for the valuable and inclusive work you do.
@robbarrell
@robbarrell 10 ай бұрын
Unless they’re an Olympic pro
@patrickpoland9223
@patrickpoland9223 4 ай бұрын
Awesome analogy and talk thank you Ruth 😀
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 3 ай бұрын
Happy you enjoyed it. Hope you have fun putting it into practice!
@annabailey770
@annabailey770 10 ай бұрын
Amazing Ruth!
@isabelmartin40
@isabelmartin40 6 ай бұрын
Thank U!! That is very very good!👏👏👏👏
@mandar7890
@mandar7890 2 күн бұрын
Thanks for enlightening us with your insights
@kathleendixon4125
@kathleendixon4125 9 ай бұрын
Thank you.
@Curious68
@Curious68 10 ай бұрын
Thank you
@barrysmith8920
@barrysmith8920 10 ай бұрын
Great talk, I totally agree
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
@barrysmith8920 thank you!
@IzziedeD
@IzziedeD 10 ай бұрын
probably the best tedx i've ever seen
@pritamsri
@pritamsri 10 ай бұрын
All I can say is - she found a platform to speak her fav hobby and also do business. 😄😃
@charliexu5139
@charliexu5139 10 ай бұрын
Business for sure.
@alastairnaughton1288
@alastairnaughton1288 3 ай бұрын
Great presentation!
@technov1king
@technov1king 5 ай бұрын
she just loves it, it shines all the way through her
@NeilHarper1
@NeilHarper1 9 ай бұрын
Fantastic talk. Thank you.❤
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 8 ай бұрын
I hope you enjoy putting it into practice!
@piranhaparran3007
@piranhaparran3007 10 ай бұрын
I LOVE IT!!!
@simonsitinjak
@simonsitinjak 7 ай бұрын
3:20 Most of what we are told when we are young is what can go wrong. 4:15 Let's start thinking about it like a hobby. This is a positive affirmative. 6:05 Skill remember: Communication, creativity, empathy.
@henrikohm
@henrikohm 10 ай бұрын
For many people it is not about the choice. Its about being with a person that does not turn you on but a person with who you have children and leaving is a high cost. I agree with the hobby statement.
@melmier3500
@melmier3500 10 ай бұрын
But you've chosen to have children and to be a Family?!
@schroederluck7984
@schroederluck7984 10 ай бұрын
@@melmier3500consider the possibilities. Maybe their partner ballooned up to 300 pounds and are not physically attractive anymore.
@melmier3500
@melmier3500 10 ай бұрын
@@schroederluck7984 we don't know what Future hold. I guess I'm a little bit tired of people acting like they don't have a choice. Humans Change and our bodies are changing as Well. Gainig weight can have a Lot of different reasons. Would be great if a Partner can help and motivate to Change a Lifestyle amd behavouir and sometimes accept a Situation If the reason are health issues for example. I guess I'm a little bit tired of people blaming others and acting like they don't have a choice. We tend to be lazy and are often not willing to change something even if we are not happy. Love and grattitude are powerful 🌤️💕 Wish you all the best
@mabriff
@mabriff 8 ай бұрын
@@schroederluck7984 Exactly. The love is still there, but physical attraction is a real struggle.
@ShrinkiesWife
@ShrinkiesWife Ай бұрын
@@schroederluck7984 MFT for couples therapy is an option.
@GriffWild
@GriffWild 10 ай бұрын
Grateful for this reframe.
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
Glad you found it useful, thank you for commenting 🙂
@fad23
@fad23 3 ай бұрын
I'm glad she mentioned "including solo."
@12bluering
@12bluering 6 ай бұрын
brilliant talk
@mabi9731
@mabi9731 3 ай бұрын
must watch for everyone
@claravanser7989
@claravanser7989 9 ай бұрын
Great talk! I 100% agree
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 8 ай бұрын
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the talk.
@LastNightADJSavedMyLife
@LastNightADJSavedMyLife 10 ай бұрын
Super well done Ruth , may it get seen by many x
@drusmith6463
@drusmith6463 10 ай бұрын
concur!,,, already waiting at the pub!!
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
Thank you so much! I'm amazed and delighted with viewing figures so far!
@NightXof
@NightXof 10 ай бұрын
If people evolve constantly trying to do new things.... You dont need a new person, you renew yourself...
@jenyadyo6
@jenyadyo6 10 ай бұрын
Brilliant!
@ctwarmuth
@ctwarmuth Ай бұрын
God bless you woman.
@wendellrider1212
@wendellrider1212 8 ай бұрын
Excellent lecture!
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 8 ай бұрын
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
@Ewinter3707
@Ewinter3707 4 ай бұрын
I love this!
@user-gz2kj1me3x
@user-gz2kj1me3x 10 ай бұрын
So simple and obvious - I can't wait to re-frame :)
@user-gg5ov9hq6g
@user-gg5ov9hq6g 10 ай бұрын
Great article 👏
@paulmeszesan8970
@paulmeszesan8970 10 ай бұрын
@richardpauly1635
@richardpauly1635 10 ай бұрын
Nice pic and 😃
@carlos.deoliveirafilho
@carlos.deoliveirafilho 10 ай бұрын
amazing!!!
@sandeepcyno
@sandeepcyno 4 ай бұрын
Communication , Creativity, Empathy
@ximenafuentes3522
@ximenafuentes3522 4 ай бұрын
What a wonderful talk! ❤
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 3 ай бұрын
thank you, I'm delighted you enjoyed it so much :)
@kidkava
@kidkava 7 ай бұрын
Flawless presentation.
@giacomofrattini4456
@giacomofrattini4456 6 ай бұрын
Wise words :) liked so much!
@nobsblend
@nobsblend 10 ай бұрын
Ruth is fantastic, and we love this talk 👏
@eliasblum753
@eliasblum753 10 ай бұрын
I have always approached it this way. It is a hobby.
@nun-chan9433
@nun-chan9433 10 ай бұрын
Thank you Ramsay for your epic bliss story. I'm an intermediate English learner. I've first heard most comprehensible talk in TED talk. I would like to make this video my textbook. But when I'd encounter that 3 letters, my solo violent activity would come not to be stopped even if I'd grit my teeth. I hope these three letter would be changed into 'it' or 'debate' or better stuff.
@powerfuleric7398
@powerfuleric7398 9 ай бұрын
Thank you for this! Great job!
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 8 ай бұрын
Glad you enjoyed it, thank you for commenting.
@wiksson
@wiksson 10 ай бұрын
Well done Ruth! 👏🏼
@waldemarkrupa2744
@waldemarkrupa2744 10 ай бұрын
Sounds so good. Thanks
@darmazzy1
@darmazzy1 9 ай бұрын
Always has and is STILL my favorite hobby😉🔥💓
@fellipemarques1247
@fellipemarques1247 4 ай бұрын
Foi com esse vídeo que eu comecei a praticar tênis, mudou minha vida
@deepu0787
@deepu0787 10 ай бұрын
It's Interesting actually.
@emmasfather999
@emmasfather999 10 ай бұрын
Well done Ruth. Proud of you!
@thibod07
@thibod07 10 ай бұрын
Interesting approach! We decided to take a hobby and never came back to sexe! Both our quality of lifes actually greatly improved in doing it. Yes indeed hobbies are great things to do.
@docwatson1134
@docwatson1134 10 ай бұрын
Please tell...what hobbies?
@anthonyb5630
@anthonyb5630 10 ай бұрын
What hobby?
@kimi651
@kimi651 10 ай бұрын
Hobby: side chick, 😂😂
@herientijuana
@herientijuana 8 ай бұрын
As with any sport, to be your best, you need to practice often and with as many opponents as possible.
@anthonymason4999
@anthonymason4999 10 ай бұрын
Brilliant
@diverbrent
@diverbrent 9 ай бұрын
Simply brilliant, thank you!!
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 8 ай бұрын
I'm glad you enjoyed it 🙂
@Indomitablespirit108
@Indomitablespirit108 7 ай бұрын
A hobby and a Sport to be enjoyed! No guilt, no shame!
@111Benzie
@111Benzie 7 ай бұрын
STD's are free.
@sunnyjim369
@sunnyjim369 10 ай бұрын
Thankyou ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤!!!
@kathyklarfeld2971
@kathyklarfeld2971 4 ай бұрын
Great!
@TheCucabarra
@TheCucabarra 9 ай бұрын
Wow hahaha this is exactly what my mom thought me when I was a teenager in the 2000’s. She thought me to see it as a hobby, like tennis! It was such a good lesson for me! ❤
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 8 ай бұрын
That's amazing that your Mom described it this way!
@RustyKnorr
@RustyKnorr 6 ай бұрын
It’s TAUGHT, not thought. Maybe she should have also taught you how to spell. 🤦‍♂️
@adunknowng
@adunknowng 6 ай бұрын
​@@RustyKnorrI tawt I taw a puddy tat
@LeonIneke
@LeonIneke 10 ай бұрын
Interesting...
@earncryptoz
@earncryptoz 10 ай бұрын
I would have to watch this over and over again 😍😍😍 Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@ruthramsay_
@ruthramsay_ 10 ай бұрын
@earncryptoz so glad you like it! Thank you for commenting.
@chrisrees7054
@chrisrees7054 2 ай бұрын
Listen to Dr. Ruth
@adventurefella
@adventurefella 10 ай бұрын
Amazing!!
@marianopie3785
@marianopie3785 6 күн бұрын
Cool advice indeed
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