Mark These Four Types of People and AVOID Them!

Рет қаралды 1,677

Күн бұрын

#rpgelite #tabletoprpg #ttrpgphilosophy
Today, we return to the RPG Elite Philosophy for Life series, finishing up RPG Elite Quality #5 as we look at the types of people you should limit or avoid altogether in your life to make it more enjoyable, productive, and peaceful.
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CYPHER SYSTEM
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NUMENERA
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VAESEN
Vaesen: Nordic Horror and Supernatural (hardcover) - amzn.to/3AvLxDv
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VIDEO CHAPTERS
0:00 It's Tuesday
2:15 Develop This Attitude
4:31 Category #1
6:22 Category #2
7:34 Category #3
9:22 Category #4
17:34 Question of the Vid
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Пікірлер: 70

@sharpmountaingames9303 Ай бұрын

Sad, but true. There are some people you just have to go "no contact" or "very limited contact" with in life. As you mentioned, sometimes they are narcissists. Sometimes they're mentally unstable. That's sad, and I hope they get help. However, that doesn't mean that I'm putting myself in their presence.

@Cyberfender1 Ай бұрын

Yes boundaries are necessary. Agreed.

@lgb4 Ай бұрын

I had to end an unfortunately toxic relationship when I realized my friend, and fellow GM was using me for my writing advice. For a long time we would chat about our respective campaigns, and I would listen, offering fun twists or plot elements that he would like and incorporate into his sessions. However, I started to realize that when I would ask questions about my own project, or for opinions, or advice, he would always become distracted and find a way to leave the conversation. It took me longer than it should have to realize that he didn't have my best interests at heart 😞

@lowRolls Ай бұрын

Yea, that’s kinda cowardly. I don’t mind that kind of thing if they’re open about needing help. I draw the line when I’m the one doing the work FOR them instead of collaborating.

@ravenwulfgar Ай бұрын

I'd have directed him to Troll Lord Games' site where the Storyteller's Dictionary and Storyteller's Thesaurus were for purchase. Those things help me in just my Second Life roleplays alone.

@ottawamonsterpocalypse7729 Ай бұрын

That he wouldn't give you feedback in return is horrible. Congrats on realizing and getting out of it.

@ravenwulfgar Ай бұрын

I love this video. I boil it down to one simple fact. Your Time Is Valuable. You get to spend that time any way you wish. The question you always need to answer is this. With the time I currently have on my hands, do I want to enjoy it or not? It's that simple. Once you spend that time, you don't get it back. Time spent complaining, whining, peeing and moaning, that's wasted because that's time you could have spent doing, writing, collaborating, reading or doing something that brought a smile to your face and the faces of others.

@CrimsonCreed-ct5dk 22 күн бұрын

Excellent breakdown. These episodes have become some of my favorite. Thank you for providing this platform. Much needed today!

@HandlesAreStupid2024 Ай бұрын

Just like people can find something to complain about. You can ALWAYS choose to find something to be grateful for. Choose joy in your life.

@rogerb181 Ай бұрын

Backstabbers are the worst, harder to see them coming until the knife is already flashing. Users are easy to see, but sometimes are hard to get rid of if they are family.

@torenatkinson1986 Ай бұрын

I haven't been following your Dark Conspiracy vids because I'm not into that system (yet) but I do have a comment on the topic of whiners - I am one. Not as much as I used to be, Cthulhu knows! This was a habit I learned from certain members of my close family, and I've been working on fixing it for a while now. I am grateful for an old ex of mine who demanded I get into therapy - it's something I should have done YEARS earlier! It's really helped to understand why I think the way i think and recognize my toxic behavior. Sometimes I wonder how many of my old friends have tolerated my crappy attitude. But, I practice positivity and self-reflection now and I think I'm a much better person for it. I wouldn't say I wear my therapy like a badge of honor but it's definitely helped me and my relationships tremendously!

@vikingshark2634 Ай бұрын

The gossip and backstab people. Because they are always looking for allies and people to be on their side. They use passive-aggressive tactics to exclude people they have beef with and they actively work to break up groups, separate friends and sow division.

@Cyberfender1 Ай бұрын

Story time. I had one of those former friends at my table who told my cousin that "He's a bad person because of XYZ". My cousin( even though we disagree on some topics and have expressed them online) said He loved me despite our disagreements. God's little wake up call to check my attitude and put my Duke's down. That I don't have to die on every hill in defence.( and go back to examine my attitudes)

@SteveMichael Ай бұрын

Good points. I would perhaps add one more type of person to avoid. The "issue" person. This is the person that has one issue that defines their lives. This is similar to a complainer in that they blame all their issues on others, but the one issue person is a bit different as well. They want to focus their entire life around that one issue and everything they talk about will also be that one issue. This is not to be confused with a person that is really excited about a new hobby or interest but more like someone who sees the entire world being wrong because of this one issue. Political dude. Religious dude (all they talk about), Alphabet dude, Vegan dude, Abortion dude, Race Dude. Avoid these people. Also I am not saying someone who is passionate and cares about an issue but their very existence is to talk about it 100% of the time. You talk about the color of a gumball and they turn it back to their one issue. As you said, be frank with them and tell them that you don't want to talk all the time about their issue and need space. Some (few) will change, but most will see you as the person on the opposite side of the issue even if you really do agree with them.

@cadenceclearwater4340 Ай бұрын

Conspiracy nuts seem to be my bane just now 🤦🏼‍♀️

@blankmike4613 Ай бұрын

Marriage minded girls, maybe add them?

@cadenceclearwater4340 Ай бұрын

@@blankmike4613 Too late 😅

@ottawamonsterpocalypse7729 Ай бұрын

I think you just described about half to ninety percent of the people in my city at various points in the last 4 years.

@rogerb181 Ай бұрын

Seen this before too. Had to bail on the one.

@strikeforcerome Ай бұрын

Pretty obvious and basic stuff but sometimes it has to be repeated to remind people "yes, these are bad things" and its ok to keep these traits out of your life.

@Dvaun1 Ай бұрын

Great freaking video! Didn't catch the other two, so I'll definitely be jumping on them too! Love the channel!

@Skeloric Ай бұрын

Yikes, group 4. I once was group 4. I try to contain it more these days. At least in part because I seek to get beyond my many traumas and my anxieties and my PTSD. I need to very deliberately look to cultivating happiness. Especially when it is not easy. Narcissists create trauma and destroy lives, so people do end up having to recover from such. I have had a few too many narcissists on me in my past.

@lgb4 Ай бұрын

I just joined your channel a couple of days ago, while looking into earlier Gamma World editions for inspiration. Wonderful content, thank you for making it and being dedicated to such a wonderful medium 😃. God bless.

@Skeloric Ай бұрын

Group 3 ... had a game group like that many many years ago. They had no ambition and actively interposed themselves in my actual ambitions. They only were about gaming, to a very addictive and obsessive way. 12 hours or more, several days a week. Stoners were likely more productive. I got caught in that trap and once I got clear of it, became my mission to never go back. Gaming should be just fun, not some addiction.

@davidhobbs6292 Ай бұрын

Changing my mindset to focus on my blessings instead of my troubles helped me pull out of my depression when I got fired... 3 weeks before my son was born. It also gave me the clarity to remove the narcissistic people in my life.

@erc1971erc1971 Ай бұрын

When you said the whiners and complainers were popular today - you hit the nail on the head. Outside of work I haven't really run into the other three, but in the last year I had to step away from several gaming groups due to some extreme whiners - I am talking full blown yelling and screaming temper tantrums (and I do hope they can resolve their issues eventually). It was a wise move as well, as I ended up finding much better groups of people...along with some new Christian friends that were among them.

@suburbansurvival8239 Ай бұрын

I don't know if I'd call tantrums and yelling "whining".

@erc1971erc1971 Ай бұрын

@@suburbansurvival8239 whining on steroids? 😎

@suburbansurvival8239 Ай бұрын

@@erc1971erc1971 as a gm I could deal with whining, but a full on tantrum would earn you an invitation to leave.

@erc1971erc1971 Ай бұрын

@@suburbansurvival8239 The one that was involved in our role-play group was asked to leave. The other was part of a board game group, and since everyone else seemed fine with putting up with that, I left.

@suburbansurvival8239 Ай бұрын

@@erc1971erc1971 sounds like you made the right call. I work too hard to deal with grown children

@dm_curt Ай бұрын

You described 2 of my close family members quite accurately. Good advice.

@derekburge5294 Ай бұрын

The naysayers have been, by far, the hardest to excise from my life. I'm a big believer in the old bit about high tide raising all ships, so I'm prone to try to help folks when they're stuck in the mud. Maybe it's an ego thing on my part, but I love training and uplifting folks. Service to others is a great virtue in my book! Has led me to be dragged down more than a few times though. I've dated all of these archetypes though!

@Skeloric Ай бұрын

Group 1 - in my small rural school, gossiping and backstabbing seemed almost to be taught. Yuck, yeah, none of that for me in the buffet of life. Got zero time for "Reality TV" which caters to such as well.

@juanpraetoru3843 Ай бұрын

QotV: maybe the most difficult could be the backstabber since he is not direct. I had a bit of experience with a naysayer/backstabber and a opportunist back in the day.

@FreePigeon Ай бұрын

This can be hard especially if said person is a parent. I was waiting for life-saving surgery and was really down about what if I didn't survive until my surgery date? She decides to tell me stuff like how her coworkers husband got his surgery appointment the day after he died. Like ??????????? why would you tell me that? According to her she was trying to be supportive but I don't see it ??? Even now I still don't see where she was coming from with that. Now she complains that I never tell her my troubles anymore, but she always has to try to one-up me with how much worse her problems are. Luckily I have a very supportive partner who is an absolute saint.

@DoctorPhobos Ай бұрын

That O'Jays song came to my mind the same time when you mentioned it! Ahhh . . . 70s music . . . and of course, 80s . . . Now I have to listen to that song now . . . Musical Interlude!

@aprozach Ай бұрын

I really liked this video and it had me do some self reflection to see if I have any of these traits. I love this type of content you do. Keep up the good work!

@stormbringerpdx Ай бұрын

This is great advice thanks again

@knightwolf4612 Ай бұрын

As my dad once told me: "I cannot choose your friends for you. I can tell you if you are picking bad ones. Friends uplift you, son. Not dig the hole to bury under it."

@matthewesch8758 Ай бұрын

QotV: I'm pretty good at dealing with such folk... I also do it for a living.

@MrBsberzerker Ай бұрын

Very interesting video. The one point I would disagree with you on is when you said you should tell people why you aren't seeing them and that it is cowardly to not do so. Sometimes it might be a good idea but some people just use that to pretend to have changed and it is sometimes just useless to waste your time even explaining to these people what they have done wrong. One of the greatest mistakes thay can be made when dealing with a narcissist is believing you can help them change and improve.

@0num4 Ай бұрын

"We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do." -Ghandi

@0num4 Ай бұрын

QotV: I dislike backstabbers the most, but naysayers have been the most trouble in my life. Some folks spend so much time telling others what can't be done, they never do anything themselves. I'm not positive about everything 100% of the time, but I don't need that squawking, bringing me down. If my head is up I'm the clouds, sure, I could use a bro to put me in check, but that's rarely the case. But betrayal is different. Once someone betrays your trust, you must excise them without fail. Trust takes years to build and a moment to shatter. This is why treachery is the greatest of sins (in my humble opinion).

@lowRolls Ай бұрын

Hike your own hike. That’s how I deal with those four types of people. They have drama, I let them have their drama. I move on. I keep doing my thing and I don’t grab onto their hooks. The only ones I try to work with are people who matter in my life. Otherwise, I don’t get involved in the dramas of other people. I enjoy playing with strangers. That could be because I can have a good time without a lot of emotional investment. And when a jerk comes to my table, it’s easy to blow them off because they are not important. On the balance I find that most people are enjoyable to spend time with. I don’t have to agree with them or even disagree with them. It’s just nice to share a fun time with others in a shared space.

@dmad811 Ай бұрын

I love your videos; however this video hit with deep wisdom. You articulated so poignantly a truth about people today that everyone needs to hear. This also found me at a point in my personal life where the message landed with a powerful resonance. Thank you and keep the sage thoughts forthcoming.

@longshot9060 Ай бұрын

Preach it RPG Elite! Good advice for life in general that holds true at the gaming table.

@Skeloric Ай бұрын

Found myself not having to worry about opportunists, only because I generally have so little myself. Even so, a few came into my exteme periphery - and stayed there until they went away again.

@Skeloric Ай бұрын

I honestly love your videos. Not because I ever fully agree with you on everything, but rather because even in disagreement I continue to grow. I take the experience of disagreeing - when it happens - to more firmly decide who I choose to be and WHY. Ethics in gaming are a mere reflection of ethics in life, to me. I find often myself agreeing with the premise and motivations even if I sometimes think the presentation was a little too much like being a thistle or porcipine. Even when I fully agree that I need please no one but myself, I also cater to a persona of distant courtesy. There is also that distinct badge of honor of getting someone else to just walk away mad which I know I descended to a few times too many in my life. I don't even want to expend energy on getting someone to "rage quit the video" or its analogue. But then again, it seems more and more people can't discern meaning from anything but a bluntness verging on hostile. Any attempt at linguistic restraint utterly confuses them. Well, maybe I've half reasoned out the entire path you might have taken to get here - at least as far as I can figure out. In any event, carry on. There is a great difference between being unhibited in a very very bad way and actual roleplaying. And somehow that point feels like it is ... hiding? ... in your presentations.

@kevinthorpe8561 Ай бұрын

Good video some straight talk there. I may not like some of the games you play ( though your videos opened my eyes to Vaesen) but I greatly admire your integrity

@riptide3340 Ай бұрын

Great video as always!! QotV: It’s honestly hard for me to say a type of person I’ve had to deal with the most because I learned to cut negative people out pretty early on (thank the Lord for good parents!!) I definitely agree that whiners are the most prevalent though. Society as a whole seems to think that, instead of becoming mentally/emotionally/spiritually stronger in response to the world, we should just complain until someone who has real strength comes to fix the problem for us. Ironically, it works against the very ideals society tries to uphold: most aren’t happy, and nobody accepts each other anymore. (obligatory disclaimer: that’s not to say there aren’t serious problems in the world or that you don’t struggle, but about half the problems I hear people complain about could be solved with “stop caring about it, it doesn’t affect you.”)

@Cyberfender1 Ай бұрын

Good Talk RPG Elite! I'm moving towards starting my Campaign again after a couple of years after the ronna. God has brought some of the good ones back into my life. I've had to repent of my attitude of how I expressed political matters over friends( when they just wanted somewhat of a bit heated civil discourse) Some have deemed me a noozee just because of my world view and wrote me off as dead to them.( and I Iet that get under my skin). God has been discipling me on "slow to anger, slow to speak". He is always faithful and just. Some have left( like the some of the ones you described in your wise video) and is teaching me if they are going to divide over my opinions to let them go. He is teaching me "let Me handle them" Pray for them. Forgive them. Some bridges needed to be crossed and some burned. Great talk RPG Elite. I now look forward to gaming again.

@RIVERSRPGChannel Ай бұрын

The last one is so true nowadays The users are the tough ones here, especially since it’s family

@ReustersPlace Ай бұрын

Maturity makes a person's need for validation drop dramatically. I have 1... maybe 2 people i consider friends. And... I like it that way.

@jerryjensen5700 Ай бұрын

Well said.

@andykaufman7620 Ай бұрын

Why use this guy as the Hater 2:29. I have played on Dungeon Crawler on Discord, a channel that plays many Old School RPG games, and guess what it is fully of Category 1 Gossipers and Backstabbers, but also a few Haters too, people if we got into specific's you'd see they in fact are people who abusive and unreasonable people are. If you want to experience that abuse, go play there. The difference is if you play there you better care what they think as they have the power to ban you for the smallest, stupidest reasons and so you are placing yourself in a vulnerable place by playing there. Whereas a You Tube channel you are not. If someone doesn't like the video all they can do is thumbs down or leave a comment or Skip the video cutting your share of the AdSense off, a lesson you taught us. That's the maximum control they have, but when they are on a Forum or Discord Channel or You Tube Group and they are the Moderator they hold real power, and if the culture of that place has a mentality that is intolerant and non-inclusive, which Dungeon Crawlers is, well then you get to choose between just not participating or risking banning, same goes with forums or Facebook channels. And no I am not a 'Weak Mind' as I would say all that to their faces, but the point is that this was just an example of the likelihood you reading this have experienced gaming spaces like this and people who seek to control these spaces. Which the real point. They are in fact, like you suggest Two-Faced, Backstabbers, and they set up a Tattletale system where someone can anonymously complain, and you don't have a means to hash it out face to face, which you should. It empowers the Weakest of Minds upon the gaming community leading to a toxic gaming culture.

@ottawamonsterpocalypse7729 Ай бұрын

So I think I've had experience with all of those. I might even fall into a few. Was raised with the last category and boy do my family members hate it when I bring up any of the issues. At the risk of never getting a reply here again, I would say I was category 4 for quite a bit of my life. Trying to improve things these days but it is really hard to escape. Victim mentality should be listed as the 8th deadly sin I think at this point. It's addictive, easy to get into the habbit of when those around you do it, and really, really hard to fight off. That being said, as my greatest vice is category 4, I have the most trouble with categories 1 and 2 in my life. So much so that even the category 4 family members often say to me "Make sure you're not being used by..." Yeah...I'm probably a pretty big sucker and a case study of flaws that I need to fix. Working on it steadily but it will probably take the rest of my life because I'm an abysmal judge of other people's character. I'm not category 1 though, if anyone asks me, I will tell them their flaws to their faces...this has lost me some associates though.

@ottawamonsterpocalypse7729 Ай бұрын

Thought about it some more. I would say I have gone very limited contact with some members of my family because of the #4 behaviour. While there is the danger of joining in, it also just saps my energy if that makes sense. I haven't figured out a way to tell these people that they are just in a depression phase and being overly negative without it blowing up in my face either.

@matthewesch8758 Ай бұрын

5:54 - Elinore Roosevelt said that. Not Socrates.

@Skeloric Ай бұрын

My personal pet peeve is pessimism. I can be pessimistic, enough so that feeding my pessimism is the absolute last thing I need. One of my oldest friends is a naturally dour and pessimistic person. Not their fault, just their upbringing. Just as it was mine. Very good friend, there for me many a time. Except when my own pessimism is a bit out of control and needs no encouragement. I am in no way an optimist though I seek out optimism, even pragmatic low levels of optimism. Having my pessimism discouraged is healthy and necessary - might even save my life because my pessimism can get very unhealthy if fed into too much. Not one of the 4, not so I heard. Still very important. I also really prefer a generally ethical slant to an overall gaming experience. Even imagining a thing for gaming feels a bit too much like breaking that old Biblical restriction of thinking evil is too much like effectively doing evil in one's heart. Certain things presented at the gaming table ... just have me ready to disengage. Too much of my old fundamentalist upbringing clinging to me. What one allows in one's head, marks one's soul.

@danrimo826 Ай бұрын

Yeah pessimism & depression are strengthened by bad company. When I am fighting depression cannot be around depressive people. Kinda like trying to quit drinking while you are at a bar. Good for me to remember too - that when I am going through it, I need to be careful not to drag anyone else down with me.