After finishing my PhD I went to a university-led session on ‘What Comes Next.’ What I heard sounded a lot like “now, you beg for money.” It was so depressing to think about all the very clever people in that room who had worked so very hard only to find out they had no financial security and would be spending most of their days asking for money. I realized that even what I thought of as the ‘safe path’ was uncertain so I may as well go after what I truly want. That led me here.

Hearing your story reminded me of that Franz Kafka quote: “I was ashamed of myself when I realized that life was a costume party, and I attended with my real face.” I am glad you stood your ground after all. We need more people like you, and not just in Academia.

The raw truth of having a breakdown over the mom dichotomy of "I don't work enough because of my family" and "I need to work less because of my family."

I’m in Archaeology, we literally have to wait for textbook “experts” to die in order to get any chance of progressing new academic fields. For example, we couldn’t decode the Maya script for decades because the so called experts suggested instead it was just zodiac symbolism. After they died, a kid in the late 90’s finally decoded the script and we can now read Mayan written records.

The real tragedy is that you almost didn't post this video. People NEED to know what kind of world we live in. This was more valuable than 99% of commencement speeches.

Your willingness to call 'bullshit' by its name is one of the reasons I watch your channel. Hats off, carry on!

Phd in Biology from USA here. This is a universal problem, and I needed to hear this. Thank you.

Lots of KZfaq content creators have a degree of 'star power,' but Sabine grabs and holds your attention because her brilliant (and very German) delivery comes with authenticity, extreme qualifications and a charming persona like no other. Straight shooter, dry wit genius and a delight. Keep 'em coming - I'm a regular customer now!

As a grad student, I had a professor plagiarize an entire term paper of mine which he used as a chapter in his book. My complaint to him and the department fell on deaf ears. I was told that my worked belonged to the professor because all grad work belonged to the professor who taught me. What a bunch of garbage.

"He got angry, and I laughed at him..." I love it.

You are now officially my favorite educator on KZfaq. I appreciate teachers, who aren't afraid to call bullshit when they see it. We love you, please keep it up. Thousand hugs.

I’m 57 and I still haven’t found my place in the world. I’m glad you have over a million people interested in you.

Thank you for sharing Sabine, we love you!

That's exactly why I never went back to academia after my master's. It was all about what to do to get that extra grant. Everyone (including myself) was writing bullshit to get grants. I used to want to become a scientist since I was a child. The reality killed that dream for me too... I totally get it.

I don’t know how to tell you how much I LOVE you!!! ‘seeker of truth & integrity’ no matter the cost AND coming out on top. I like your work also…

Dear Sabine, I am a Brazilian researcher in my 4th Postdoctoral Felllow giving up academia because of the exact reasons you listed in your video. Thank you so much for posted it ❤

Dear Sabine, No, you have not failed. That you're not doing the "bs" scientific works doesn't mean that your dream of becoming a scientist failed. You're one of the best scientific minds, and your contribution to the field shouldn't be underestimated. You succeeded. Your dream is being materialized in a bit unique but beautiful way.

My jaw dropped. That was a very powerful testimony.

This video wasn't too much. This video was shared with me by my husband who has a brilliant mind, and also had his dream die of becoming a member of "academia" although it is quite funny, he is now a postal worker. His brilliant mind thirsts for knowledge and not this bullshit being spit out from the elitist fields. I am always amazed by his intellect and I am happy he can watch your videos and feel a sense of belonging. I myself am a simple woman, but I appreciate the beauty of what is the neverending search for truth. Much love, keep doing what you're doing (even when someone like me can't follow)❤

Not too much! Never too much! 🙏😇💖🕊️ Thank you! 🎓

"The moment you put people into big institutions, the goal shifts from knowledge discovery to money-making" is the key quote of this video.

I am a professor but totally understand the terrible rat race. i was once writing an academic book (rather well known one now) but my HoD knocked on my office door one day and told me that the university didn't value scholarship any more. i retired as soon as was financially able to, and moved to Thailand. never been back. Take care, Donald

It's not "too much", Sabine. Good on you! I have watched your videos occasionally, and enjoyed your presentations, but I imagined that you are a physics genius (perhaps you are!) who could work anywhere and name her own price. Thank you so much for explaining the reality. I will see you on Patreon. I don't know whether you know the expression, but you are "a force of nature". That is a great compliment in my book.

I am a neuroscience researcher and it is the same in my field. Scientifc research has become this vicious cycle of grant writing and publishing pedestrian papers - because to produce ground breaking research advances, it takes time...and grant cycles, tenure cycles do not give enough time. And like you said Sabine, peer review of grants and papers is an "old boys club". It matters who you are and who you know...

"I am failed", something we rarely hear on social media, while everyone tells success stories here. Bold statement

A bit too much? Perhaps the best video of the year. Thank you for being you, Sabine. - Sacramento, USA

You are amazing! Thank you Sabine!

You like many in life went thru "Hell" and "BS" to get to here a much better place. You did what you did and now we are better for it. I appreciate you, your honesty, your humor, your knowledge and your opinions. They say steel is made much stronger by pounding on it, heating, cooling, and adding certain things to the steel while it is being made. Just like harden steel you have been made stronger too. And yet as strong as you have become you are still flexible you still have hope you still learn and teach. Sometimes we think we are the only ones who have gone thru "Hell and BS". Thank you for this video and sharing part of you with us.

Pournelle's Iron Law of Bureaucracy: In any bureaucracy, the people devoted to the benefit of the bureaucracy itself always get in control and those dedicated to the goals the bureaucracy is supposed to accomplish have less and less influence, and sometimes are eliminated entirely.

Hi Sabine, I’m a third year PhD student in bioengineering and I just want to say thanks for making this video. You’re the only person who I’ve heard describe exactly how I feel about academia. My dream has died too and most of the time I feel crazy because no one else seems to feel the same way, but thank you for making me feel less alone. You are brave and lovable ❤️

Thanks a lot for sharing this. Some of the things you said resonates with some things that happened to me (in a relatively different context, professionally speaking). The more I go throught my professional life, after the naive accademia period, the more I look around, the more I find myself in situations that I find remunerative soulless bullshitting. The part that resonates the most is the "side projects" one. It's been several years that I plan personal projects, and I always find myself investing my daily energies for the soulless bullshitting instead of the project I'd really like to work on. It is refreshing to see how it ended up to you, I really hope I'll be able to reach a good compromise like the one you found. Thanks for sharing this heavy weight. In a way, you made mine a little bit lighter to carry on for the day.

You just keep preaching the gospel, The best disinfectant is sunlight. I love your videos, I love your intellectual honesty, and I love how you cut through the noise.

No, Sabine, you have not failed, its the system that have failed you.

My dad was a scientist, and I watched his constant struggle with politics and funding. He had a stress-related heart attack at 50; he survived it, but was never the same afterwards.

The academic world treats me badly. I deserved better grades than they gave me. I admire Sabines honesty. A rare commodity in this day and age.

The Algorithm shared a video of yours during COVID. You've never disappointed and I think the SciTech corner of KZfaq is better off with you in it. Thank you for sharing everything you have in this video, and thank you for all of your videos. KZfaq lets you do something that is the foundation of science: allow people to explore, say I don't know, and question.

I achieved my PhD in philosophy when I was in my 40s. I'm an ex miner. After graduation, I became a security guard until retirement. My PhD was a classy route to poverty. So I'm glad you posted this. Dr. does look good on my drivers licence.😅

Not too much, it is just right and honest. Don’t ever change!

Thank you for posting this video after all! I'm a scientist (chemist), originally from Germany, too. I went on to get my PhD in Canada and also worked across the globe and my story (and the one of my husband!) mirrors yours closely. You have summarized the s*t-show that is academia very well and I'm deeply saddened that I'm finding more and more proof that we're not the outliers in this broken system but the norm.

I love your channel. For what it's worth, their loss is our gain. I seldom tell anyone my qualifications if I can get away with it. It makes discussions much more fun and entertaining. I am so pleased you did post it, and... NO, it's NOT TOO MUCH!!!

I just loved it when you said NO to work for that professor, THATS what I call true integrity 🤩

With 1.2M subscribers you have a real job! A real role, a real voice to teach what ever you want to teach! Genius!

Thank you for being so honest and vulnerable. We here are glad that this is your journey because it’s benefitted all of us!

You are an amazing person with a very understandable story - from which you draw some wonderfully apt moral lessons, too. I always enjoy your shares! Thank you.

You lasted longer than I did... finished my PhD (having survived broken bones, deaths, years overseas research, changes in Committee, and a mother who said, "...but you are still unmarried") I quit academia and moved to Italy to milk cows and make wine. Now I write novels. I do miss the intellectualism. but not the politics. Love you, Sabine!

"The moment you put people into big institutions the goal shifts from knowledge seeking to money making." Very well said.

Your 'failure' is actually a great success...that is most inspiring.

Now that took guts! You’re on the right path! All the best to you and our family.

This matches up exactly with my 16 years at NASA. A colleague of mine called it "playing the doctor game", because all the PhD's were battling each other for the few secure jobs while the majority languished as grantees.

As a scientist struggling with the broken academic science system, I resonate with all that she said and it's totally spot on

I appreciate your honesty...it is a helpfull guide, away from the mistic of the academia world...keep on going with your fantastic work!😉

Thank you for educating all of us who have no clue of what goes on behind closed doors. Please continue to teach with your heart and always speak truth no matter who it will offend. thank you...thank you...thank you!

Thank you for posting this! I am 82, left the US for Germany in 1965, earned my PhD with work at a Max Planck Institute and after a 12 year stint at the MPI I got a pure research position at a major German university. I was an electron microscopist, so a lot of people needed my help. I managed to publish 100+ papers and never had to write a grant proposal. I finally became disillusioned with science in general and just wound up helping others with their research. I also struggled to help my female coworkers get the credit they deserved for the work they did. Science was always more of a hobby for me. I write this just to say, your mileage may vary. I'm sorry you had such a bitter experience, but you have taken the bull by the horns and certainly have a greater scientific impact now than if you had just gone on in research. I love your videos and your sense of humour. Liebe Grüße aus dem kühlen hessischen Vogelsberg.

Near the end of my PhD, my advisor wanted me to take a paper I wrote for PRL and write a longer one for PRC and I told him I didn't feel like there was really anything more to say for our work. I later felt bad as he ended up not getting tenure which left me in a weird state as I finished my degree without a local advisor and thus no advocate or mentor at the university. I ended up set loose as soon as the paperwork was signed on my diploma. I ended up like a lot of physicists, working in finance, and after getting married and having two children, there really wasn't any going back. Plus the realization that my notion of what academia is like was really, like yours, more of a romantic dream rather than the reality. I don't really miss academia, I miss what I thought academia was supposed to be.

The more i watch your videos, the more I like you Sabine. Thanks for sharing your story and being, well, a real person.

Thank you so much for this video. I spent 4 years studying French and ASL in College, only to realize there are no French jobs around me, and I moved too much between my parent's house and college to ever develop any deep, long-lasting ties with the Deaf community in order to get any jobs. I often tell people "I know my parents were encouraging me to chase my dreams, but I wish they had woken me up sooner.". It's been super depressing. I've had so many panic attacks because I do in fact feel like I've failed, and like I wasted so much time in academia when in the end, none of those people ever helped me with anything, in fact they hurt me because there was no practical outlet for anything I did in school. And people keep telling me it wasn't a waste of time because I learned skills and such, but currently I sit 5 months out from graduation, just having quit an incredibly toxic retail job I was using to stay afloat, with no ability to utilize the major and minor I worked so hard on for so many years. Seeing someone else have similar experiences is really comforting, thank you so much for posting this video.

Speaking as retired full professor (social sciences) at a research university in the in USA I fully support your decision. You play a vital role as a public intellectual helping to educate non-specialists about the state of scientific inquiry in the physical sciences. Your KZfaq videos reach many more people - several orders of magnitude - than typical research publications read by a handful of specialists. So I say Bravo! Keep up the good work.

The wrong incentives always lead to the wrong results. Thanks for calling this out!

It certainly looks like you found your path. But such a thing is often very difficult. You are providing a great service thank you and thank you for posting this.

I'm a student in the college application process, and I'm so grateful you decided to post this video.

Unfortunately, this IS a universal story in academia. It's the dirty little secret that never seems to be talked about. Despite all that, I'm glad you have found a place for yourself and choose to share your thoughts and opinions with us all. Thank you for putting this video out!

You have not failed, "The System" is failing us all. Thank you Sabine for trying to broaden our horizons. Hopefully this brave outreach will start some meaningful conversation.

You are one of two people I can listen to .I'm so glad you are here

Thanks Sabine, yours is the most honest voice I have heard in all the different fields of science. These problems abound through all realms of academia and stifle real progress all over. Keep doing what you are doing and thank you for showing us some of the real picture. Martyn

I love your honesty. My brother got a PhD in theoretical physics from an Ivy League university and he felt the same way you do. He left academia a while ago and works in software now, but he still does his physics and math research every day in his spare time. I admire him a lot.

I'm a PhD. physicist who never really had any hope of a career in academia. I really appreciate your honesty and telling it like it is. I have always found academia to be pretentious, arrogant, and intellectually stuffy. Thank you for making this video. You've earned my respect.

I, for one, am glad you posted this because I’m at the lower level of intelligence and the exact same things happened to me. Have a good laugh because its much better than having a good cry, in my opinion and I’m going to keep watching your channel for more tidbits of reality.

Funny how your video showed up in my feed as I’m working on a grant and struggling. I feel what you describe!

Got fired from a job you didn’t have! What a world we live in!

And it's the story of a successful science educator who touched millions and made the world a slightly better place. Thank you, Sabine.

Thank you for sharing your experience, Sabine. Your story is very relatable and reassuring.

I love you Sabine for posting this video.

I'm a gardener with a lay interest in physics. Gardening is no bullshit in an otherwise cynical world. It makes for good health both physical and mental. I already had enough bullshit as an undergrad. The boffins careened off into ideological space and lost touch with the natural world, and all the brain-work made me depressed, so I started digging holes, moving rocks and planting shrubs, and this is a much happier place. I'm glad you escaped that miserable, dishonest path and took the path of truth. It is an inspiring story, and I'm a big fan. Most inspiring comments section here, too.

F**ing brilliant. This just elevated Sabine and her channel to another level for me. And I will venture to say- for many others as well.

This is parallel to my story, so thank you very much for sharing--I no longer feel so alone.

Awsome video. Truth abounding thruout! Thumbs up, and subscribing. Love you!

Also a retired academic. I had decent employment, was intellectually challenged, had more free time to accomplish what I wanted than I ever would have found in any other job, but at the same time was always disappointed by the lack of collegiality and any sense of cohesiveness in the department. The milieu - populated with tremendous egos, some earned, some not so much - made for a very lonely existence. I did my research, taught my courses and went home, spending as little time on campus as possible. There were very few friends to be found in such a environment. I loved my students - the only real saving grace. Thanks for your videos.

Glad you left the ending in; that sums up everything you said in one sentence. _"Societal pressures too often make me unable to speak, but here at least I can choose what I say."_

You are absolutely awesome, and inspire a lot of people to be curious and encounter things rationally, politely, and with the true spirit of scientific debate.

You are much admired, Sabine. Good luck with your new store and business. A brilliant mind can be flexible and find new, more rewarding venues. 🙂💫🍒🌼

Female biologist over 40 from Germany here. That's exactly how I see it. Not only from my own experience, but also from that of many acquaintances. At the beginning, you're quite happy that you can do what you like without being bothered. By the time you write your thesis at the latest, you realize the difficulties of the system that you describe. I was also irritated by the inaccuracy with which results are produced, at least in biology. As soon as you are in the system, you also see the incompetence (technical, organizational, human) of other researchers. I often had the impression that some were simply in the right place at the right time and were just willing to play along with this application circus. As a woman, it's particularly difficult if you want to start a family. It's hardly possible without help, including financial help, from grandparents. I know some who have made it at least some way, but only with the help of their parents. Yes, the system is weak. I've seen many excellent young researchers leave because they didn't want to play this game. Nevertheless, I have also met nice, very competent colleagues who have made it - but very few.

After 18 years, this is my first comment (and likely last comment) on KZfaq. Thank you for posting this. I don't work in academia, but so much of the world feels this way. I have always admired your forthright courage, and I am saddened that somehow, academia cannot find a way to benefit from your tremendous intellect, talents, and convictions. Good luck out there!

I find the honesty of presentation refreshing...I truly hope Sabine can somehow get past the BS (I love the fact that she uses that expression) and focus on truly moving our understanding forward...

Dropped out of my PhD six years ago. Still struggling with the alcohol and tobacco addiction I took from those three miserable years. Constantly made to feel worthless and not doing enough. My career in industry has been amazing and constantly rewarding. Academia needs to change.

I am glad you posted the video! As a female academic approaching retirement (and not with a pension), I can definitely relate to what you experienced. With 24,614 comments as of my posting, it is unlikely that you will see this, but THANK YOU.

It was Not too much, Sabine. Thank you.

Perhaps the most honest and refreshing video I’ve ever seen on KZfaq. Thank you for sharing.

"I think I owe you an explanation" - No you don't, but I am glad you did give it anyway and I found your perspective very interesting.

I'm really feeling you, Sabine, with all my heart ❤, I'm a father of two kids, in my early thirties, just finished my phd, in an applied engineering field, tried applying for a job in the industrial domain (stable job), however, I failed to have one as my profile is too academic for them, now I'm feeling like in the middle of nowhere.

I, and I think many others, are very glad that you did post this video. Thank you!

It is a sad story. I studied Electrical Engineering and wanted to reach a PHD in electromagnetism but I have a lousy habit of needing food to survive. Worked in a telecomunications company till they fired 60% of the employees, then I decided to work as actor, producer and director. Now my friends and I have a KZfaq channel called “Curiosamente” in which we do videos about science, history, human rights, etc. And I am happy and proud of what we do. 😌 We are from Guadalajara México Thank you for this inspiring video!!!❤

This level of honesty is why I follow your channel. Thank you for sharing your story.

I am here applauding you in Canada. I won't bore you with my story, I just want to thank you for your authenticity. I've enjoyed all the dozens of your videos, and maybe its your accent or maybe its your humour but likely its the way you frame all the different examples of the emperors missing wardrobe. I learn a lot every video, so thank you for posting this one. Bravo!

Sabine, this was not "too much," as you said. It helped me. I just quit a job after 23 years of international travel, and I really synch up with what you said about the travel and the psychological displacement from one's own life. It took a massive toll on me, and I'm a single man without the reproductive priorities and family needs that you had. Even so, depression, broken relationships, and a sense of not belonging anywhere became chronic and damaging, not to mention the constant jet-lag and the lack of appreciation. And like you, I noticed that my institution primarily served to perpetuate itself, not do good work. Thanks for posting this! I think you did the right thing, and I finally did too.

As a father of daughter with a phd, so much of this rings true..... thumbs up !!

Thank for these words, Dr. Hossenfelder. I am a big enthusiast of your videos since a while but this one got me really surprised! It made my romantic "child-side" cry .. at the same time, my rational "grown up-side" feels truly relieved.

I thought it was a wonderful video. Please don't stop. I have been enjoying them faithfully 😊

Thank you for your work on KZfaq. You touch millions of people, some of which will become the next Einstein thanks to you. I'm excited every day about your next video.

You did the right thing by creating and posting this video, Sabine. More people need to know about the real state of things in academia. I myself earned a PhD in polymer chemistry and then spent 5 years as a postdoc in physical chemistry in Germany. I fully confirm that what you described is true. What really bothers me is the lack of ways for students to fight back against abusive professors. The university administration cares mostly about money. So, if a particular professor brings in a lot of grants, nobody cares how he or she treats their group. Labor laws practically don't exist or don't apply in academia. I tried to make a difference by raising these issues with my university's administration, only to be met with indifference and inaction. As long as the money comes in, there is no problem from their perspective. I realized that the only option left for me was to leave. If I couldn't change the system, I would just leave it, never come back, and notify others about the real state of things there. I started applying for real jobs and successfully got one in the semiconductor industry, where I can apply my knowledge for the real benefit of society.

What an incredible human being. Absolutely love her. Amazing.