Pat rolled a 1 on a dexterity check but then immediately passed a death saving throw

I was 17 and specced pretty hard into strength, dex and charisma. Then i failed a snowboarding minigame and I basically respecced into an INT build.

The brain is incredibly fragile. After a seizure a few years back, I headbutted the corner of a wardrobe.... The other day it took me half an hour to remember the word "Soup". Granted, the seizure and such was caused by a brain tumor that has since been removed... But still, soup. Hell, I've had it with "And" and other such simple words. Keep your brains safe kids!

That fall may very well be either the cause of Pat's success as an entertainer or the origin of [CRAZY TALK] or both.

"So...why did you stop doing sports?" An elf and woolie told me sports were bad

He had to walk with a cane for the rest of his life. It was so rad, bro.

When I was a kid, I was pulling on a rope resistance that was hung around a big metal shelf pretending I was piloting Liger Zero from Zoids, when I pulled too hard and the corner of the shelf hit the side of my head causing it bust open. I was leaking blood and my mom was deciding if to let it heal naturally or risk making the scar bigger with stitches. Now I have a small bald bump that's super smooth where it hit me. Cool story to tell how dumb kids can be.

"E sports are safe" Iea tell that to the guy that got punched in the face by his opponent in that MVC2 casual mach

Again?? didn't Matt already have a bionic knee because of slipping on ice? damn, Canada man I tell ya, come to Brazil, I never slipped on ice here even once!...I've been shot at and stabbed though

Maube that was crazy talks awakening

Wait, why is Pat the elf? Elves are way too tall for Pat to be one!

The day pat slipped was the day crazy talk was born

Wow, this sure explains why Woolie always goes for op boss characters

Just got out of Air Force BMT, My dormitory was on the third floor of the building. Now I'll Let you understand that those stairs are like GIANT VERTICAL CHEESE GRATERS! I was trying to go down as fast as I could ,and on the last step before the floor platform my arch hit the edge of the step in the wrong way and I tumbled down pretty hard. I impacted that floor with my chest, face, right knee, and both of my hands. Had a limp for a couple of days but the worst part is that I still have the facial scar.

Can you imagine Christmas Story mall scene was replaced with Santa Woolie and Elf Pat. "You'll shoot your eye out, kid" will be "You'll clip your fucking knee, Dood! FUCK AMABAY!"

I was once running around the house playing with my cat when I was a kid and I tripped on the area of the floor that was the spot where the carpet ended and the tile began and it split my fucking pinky toe open. My mom decided the best course of action was to squeeze my pinky toe so the skin would reattach itself. To this day I still don't know how it worked.

Oh man, this is fun, lemme join in. So i'm basically a scarecrow and have been all my life, but i've been known to enjoy some good sporting on occasion in between bouts of nerdery. 1: When i was small, maybe 11 or so (it was the day the last harry potter book came out) i went to a family reunion. I was alone for a while and i decided to play on the treadmill, because i'm a kid, i love running, and running in place without having to worry about making the trip back? YES PLEASE. So i get on it, i'm having fun, i start speeding it up gradually. After a few minutes of this i make it speed up again and the inevitable happens. I trip, start to fall, my brain goes "IT'S FINE JUST GRAB ON AND RECOVER", i continue the fall and grab onto the things keeping the control board up, and proceed to grind my knees against the track (or whatever it is you call that black material) for a solid 5-10 seconds (i have a pretty high pain tolerance) while trying to recover. This fails, i let go because of the agony, my face hits the track and it slides me off real quickly (nothing happened to my face though because i wasn't holding myself in place anymore, thank goodness), and now i'm alone with the skin shredded off both my knees and blood all over the place. I freak out a bit when i look at my legs, then start yelling to see if anyone is around. No one is so i put myself back together and start crawling/hobbling back through the facility and up a flight of stairs until i find a relative, who then gets me treated properly. The lesson i learned and internalized here is ""if i'm falling and the ground is gonna keep moving beneath me, DO NOT TRY TO HOLD ON AND JUST LET MYSELF GO INSTEAD". 2: When i was even younger, around 7 or 8 i used to run around on all 4s because it was fun. I stopped doing this when my family was throwing a party and i accidentally tripped my grandmother's boyfriend at the time. He took a step backwards while i happened to be running behind him and i got crushed like a pancake, and let me tell you, this dude was BIG even for an adult. I got smashed and passed out for a bit, but beyond that i was fine. People were worried, but i wasn't really all that hurt, the guy actually took more damage from it than i did. 3: This one is the really embarrassing one. I was 15 or 16 and at a "learning program" that basically substituted for my highschool experience. Every day we'd go out and do some sort of physical activity, and on this day it happened to be raining and we went out to the blacktop basketball court out behind the school. The teacher in charge decided that we'd do a sort of relay, where we get split up into 4 teams and then each person on a team has to run backwards across the blacktop then tag in their teammate waiting on the other side, who then runs backwards to the other side and tags in their teammate, and so on and so forth. Now i'm a bit wary of doing this while it's raining so hard out, but i go along with it because it ain't my fault if someone gets hurt. So we do this, 2 of my teammates have done the thing and i get tagged in. I make it maybe halfway across and suddenly feel my foot slip. My brain kicks into overdrive and the following flashes into my head in an instant. "You're going to fall, you can't spin and recover with your hands, roll into a ball as you fall and use the momentum to get back up again, oh and also try and keep your hands between your skull and the ground when you hit it, kythxbye". My body goes through with the plan, i hit the ground, everything goes black, i hear a sickening crack (which i expected as i've taken bad falls before), a widespread gasp from the people watching me, i hear this sick ass drum beat fill my head (which i was told later was apparently my heartbeat), my body follows through with the plan and i ukemi, lose my glasses, and slow down for a second to decide whether to get my glasses or not, then go "fuck it" and keep running backwards to the other side til i tag in my last teammate to start their go. Of course people ran over to check if i was okay, i told them i lost my glasses after i fell and i won't be able to find them on my own, a few people searched and found them, then they sent me back inside to make sure i wasn't concussed (Somehow i never have been) and stopped the whole exercise. I got a decent sized lump on my head that day, but i've had those kinds of injuries before and it wasn't that bad, just a bit tender, but far more importantly i earned a heck of a lot of cred that day for my complete nonchalance and "I knew this was gonna happen" attitude towards the whole thing (as well as my sick ukemi and recovery). Shockingly we didn't do anything as dumb as running backwards in the rain on terrible terrain again, so i like to think i contributed something to that learning program in the end. One last thing. I used to play soccer (never very well though) and on occasion my left knee and shin still starts to feel weak. Idk if it's because i took a bad hit that i've forgotten, or maybe it's just a lot of accumulated damage over the years, but it's the most persistent "injury" i've got despite it being extremely mild. Weird how the human body works, huh?

Can confirm, sports is bad. Don't even sport once. During PE in either 7th or 8th grade, we were playing football outside, when someone "tackled" me by picking me up and dropping me. I landed badly, as in "my knee directly landed on a rock" badly. My knee's been fucked ever since, and it's only going to get worse. Back then, after I healed, it didn't really bother me. Now that I'm in my 20s, it hurts when rain's on the way, it gets stiff sometimes after I've been sitting down, I wobble a bit when I walk, and sometimes it just starts to hurt for no reason. I'll probably have to use a cane when I'm older, but I've accepted that, because canes are pretty stylish.

So Matt got X-Pac'd?

eSports is safe? what about that guy who got runover at a smash tournament?

Diagnosis: Fractured ass

Last year I went to the E.R. after being knocked unconscious, from slipping on the icy road and hitting my head on a parked Ford's front bumper.

Wait did Woolie get speared in the knee?

Man talk about bad lack I've gotten in a bunch of car accidents and hardly have they given me serious injuries

So in Oregon were I live the weather is such a way that it rains a lot but then gets freezing cold and then rains again. So you have this situation were you have slippery wet ice covering the road and ground in general whale it pours down rain, and I have a drive way that's like a 70 degree angle, so driving and walking is super annoying and life threatening. Luckily livening like this I've learned REALLY well how to take a fall with minimal injures, worst injury I ever had was me tripping and a sharp rock stabbing me in the elbow, and I had to treat in myself (iced in that day,) and I must have done a good job because in healed within a week, still got a scar though.

Fun fact. If parents make you do a sport and you don’t want to then you’ll even accumulate mental and sanity damage.

At that point it's the coaches that are to blame

2:20 CRAZY TALK-U

I very much believe that soccer (football) is the very reason to this day that I'm not highly intelligent. You can have a good development as a child and show signs of great potential but take a couple soccer balls to the head from the kid that is one year older but somehow 2 feet taller than you? That potential is gone forever.

sport withen limits

You can break your ass in the states too. No shame.