100 percent. Things are different now and she may have additional expenses she did not have when hubby alive. She will be changing into socializing differently …and in each area of life will not be the same.

I disagree with his advice. In the end her children will receive everything. Everyone would benefit with financial gift from a loved one. Just keep enjoying your money and have funeral arrangements in place paid.

@@richardgomez5008I do agree with her better giving herself some time to grief before making such big decisions. I do agree that in the end she won't take the money to the grave so the one who's not finqncially responsible will have to figure things out whichever way, wether she's still alive to see it or not. But I don't think just so short after her husband / their dad passed it's the right moment to pass down this much of their shared wealth in this manner. It would be different if one of them would be going into a huge student load (like for medical school or alike), and be in need of the money NOW to be set up much better in life in the longrun. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. I'd also say wait a year more to grief and not associate this investment with the death of her husband / the dad. Financially it won't make THIS MUCH of a difference in the kids lifes to wait this long

Yes

Are you driving yet? Your comment gave me a chuckle, as I as a parent of 4 remember being that poor. They did learn to drive and bought their own cars and became successful in spite of their parents.😅

Me neither haha but it doesn't get me down. I paid for all my cars in cash, hockey etc.

Teach the kids to fight and survive is what good parents do.

and if you took care of him in his old age, then you are a generous fool.

Good

Agreed

Yep

I agree.

Yes

You must be the kid in the lower cost area!

Yeah I noticed she said we as well. 😢

Agree.

I don't see how that is possible. If he bought a house, 3 years later it would have been worth more money. Perhaps he sold it for $400,000? Did he not get insurance then have a house fire?

Sounds like bollocks. Give us more insight and context please. You don't just lose a house hahaha

@@thedappercook maybe he put it as a down payment for a million dollar house and could not make the payments. His grandfather gave him an almost failsafe inheritance and he blew it some how.

@@el_duderino_man so you don't actually know? Hearsay is dangerous bro. Putting down $300k on a million dollar home means he would have had a $700k loan. The monthly repayments depending on the rate you get wouldn't have being crippling.

I think paying college fees is better so they can start out with a clean slate and grind to make money to buy their own house

This would be a huge incentive to stay on track and get the degree done.

I did this on my own. Wish my parents would reward me with a house

the kids are in there 30s

College gave me my career and I never had a handout. I don't get this call at all.

Yes. She shouldn't help them now

Yeah, it's much better if your children despise you and only pretend to like you when you meet because they cannot wait for you to die to finally get some of that inheritance.

Yes, or if she does want to help them get into a house she could likely easily afford to give them each a down payment first a house whose monthly mortgage payment they could afford.

Agree they have to have skin in the game to appreciate it

Exactly! No hard feeling between them.

No. They should feel lucky to get a house a free.

If she’s paying for them 100% then I could see why she would want to buy them houses that were equal in size not dollar value.

Yes. I agree.

This makes more sense to me.

I agree with this. They will inherit the rest when she is gone but for now she still has to live.

I like this idea too. But let's remember, the "kids" are 34-38 years old, and none of them have been able to save up for a house? I'm seeing red flags all over this.

@@Joenzinator Agreed. What have THEY been doing all this time?

PMI isn't as big a deal as it used to me. mine is like $75/mo

I’m sure she has more money than what she said

@carlos ortiz I’m sure you have no idea what you’re talking about

@@youngswoll3 not everyone that calls says the whole story o everything they owed etc

I don’t know about that. The vast majority of people go into retirement with far less than $1.5 million. She would be fine. If her lifestyle was appropriate.

Exactly

But this is what she and dad had been thinking she is right to want them to inherit something from Dads labor

kids are gonna get the money eventually... but i would agree to do a large down payment for each kid. They should all have a mortgage.... its work that they need

@D While I received several offers from brokers, I opted not to accept their offers but instead sell it to a family. You are correct, I too had concerns that the house would go to kids who would not take care of the property so I accepted a slightly lower offer to a family who was putting half down and held stable jobs. I did not get to meet the buyers but did see their bank account and had to rely on the information provided by their realtor.

@@oshkoshbegone, Agreed, as long as each child is in good financial shape and making enough money to cover all the expenses that go with owning a home. The kids each have to understand that the down payment is a gift to help them buy a home but it doesn't mean they can access the National Bank of Mom whenever they need extra help. They need to get some of their own money put back as a cushion to cover repairs and emergencies too. She could wait a year or two years to let them get prepared for owning a home. She would be able to leave an inheritance when she passes so each child gets a boost for their retirement.

😂 my parents bought my home for me and my husband 🤷🏼‍♀️ 50 thousand over the asking price and we are forever grateful for that.

@@user-nk6ep4fh7b So glad you appreciated the generous gift from your parent. I know my daughter would appreciate it too.

My Dad never taught me either. He is sitting pretty while I struggle.

​​@@alaska49girlthat's a bad parent. Sorry to hear that

OP: she saved with the husband and it's not mentioned that they used Dave's plan. However, I agree, more than money, financial education is necessary. Somehow, I got my own without being taught anything. I had enough for 3 down-payments on a minimum income. So yeah, financial education is crucial, in any way you can get it - get it!

​@@dianabalan2919Around the 50 second mark she mentions that in 2009 she ran into this book, The Total Money Makeover, which is Dave's book alluding to the fact that she followed his principles. They should have included their kids though in learning and living the principles.

@@TrektheMundo thank you for the comment

And the cost of long term care!

She’s got 3 million… that’s $150k per year guaranteed. Mom is doing quite alright. When she dies the government is going to take half that cash. She should definitely help her kids as best she can given the situation

​@@user-jx8bl6kl1k Could she put the kids on her bank accounts so they are joint owners of the cash? Then there is no death tax. Then have one small account in her name only.

@@user-jx8bl6kl1k No. Read up on inheritance strategies.

@@user-jx8bl6kl1kGood point, Brother.

Yup. Let the rest grow.

Unless they are terrible with money and lose the house to foreclosure and now their “gift” is gone forever.

@@markallenrandle yes, maybe help them with rent for now maybe until they improve their finances.

@Dementia Joe I love the name. I always refer to him as that.

Yes that’s how my parents did it for my sister. They have her 25% of the total cost

She rated them “fair/good” “fair” and “fair/terrible” she has a good head on her shoulders like Dave so Dave knew what she meant.

And the kids are in their mid to late 30’s. There is a lot unsaid here.

I am also surprised that Dave didn’t ask about the kids’ financial situation. If it were me, I would help each kid with the down payment rather than buy them a house outright. Paying off their own mortgage will not only teach them to value what they have in life, but will instill in them confidence in their capabilities and a sense of self worth in having accomplished a goal. This will ultimately help them continue to be successful in other areas because they will have learned skills to help them achieve.

He did ask

I just paid off a house for the first time and it was a great celebration.

imagine comparing nowadays to 30+ years ago

@Garage Sale: This is the best advice of over 200 comments.

so true.......keep it in a trust

Trust is the way to go.

That is what she said too, but Dave's advice isn't always great. Don't listen to Dave Ramsey like everything that comes out of his mouth is GOLD.

They are little kids in adult bodies

yeah and when the money comes easy they think theyre better than other people.

Everyone has to start somewhere and learn, but a good parent will have open and honest discussions on it and how to get them there. Most of us don't appreciate what we have until we're older and have more time to think about it all.

I don’t care if I’m worth 20 million dollars, you do this and it will not turn out well. By chance, could they just maybe do it on their own? Start early, stay late, watch how you spend your money, good things will happen. I see this a lot in my 69 years. I have NEVER seen it work.

a recipe for hard feelings.

Why?

Exactly right

I’m just guessing here but she might be thinking she would buy the same size house for all three kids- and the prices vary by location

Best comment I’ve seen here.👋🏻

If you look at some of the greatest people in history, almost all of them inherited something from their parents. If you think your kids will waste the money you gave them then you have failed as a parent.

@@serioushamster I guess that depends on your definition of "greatest" ... it's a LOT easier to be "great" if you're rich. If you want to impress me, do something with nothing and BECOME rich.

I totally agree..

@@serioushamster What my kids inherited from me was work ethic and persistence and it allows them to do it for themselves. I will likely give them a down payment which will boost their efforts, but I don't want them to become dependent. Who are these "great people" you mention, and what did they inherit that made them great?

Deleting your savings by half and still having $1.5 million is not exactly a Crisis. She would be fine with $1.5 million in cash.

@@spankynater4242 that's what I'm thinking.

I have to agree. Maybe purchase the houses as part of a will and trust so that it belongs to her, but they will inherit the houses respectively when that time comes. I wouldn’t want to buy them houses outright either.

@@spankynater4242 not in this economic climate. Medical bills could wipe that out in 14 days if she ever has a medical catastrophe.

@@eileenwatt8283 let’s go Brandon

I think that is why she said she was making it part of a trust.

Or somewhere in between the two, understand that housing has gotten less affordable adjusted for inflation so it’s harder for kids now than it was 20 years ago Do whatever feels right to you, I just don’t want to watch my kids struggle as a “right of passage” when I know I didn’t struggle as much and I can easily help them What’s the point of having an extra million in retirement to vacation with if the whole time you’re thinking about how your kids are still renting at 40 years old

@@Zachery_, yes, it has gotten harder. That's even more reason to let them do it on their own. It's an accomplishment. When my wife and I bought our house, it was a fixer upper, but fairly big. We paid 122,500 for a 4 bed/2 bath 1700 sq ft home. It had a lot of issues. But it's ours and we did it with no help from anyone except the bank. We did it while working terrible jobs and with a special needs newborn. 12 years later, we're still in the house and it still needs some work, but all cosmetic. Now that we're 40 years old, we have some land and we're trying to get into a position to build a house. A huge chunk of money would be amazing now that we know how to work hard for what we want and not blow the money.

Why do poor people feel as if their kids also need to be poor to build character? If gifting your kids something ruins their character you’ve already messed up as a parent.

@@---cr8nw You bought your house for 7 blueberries. A house like that in my city is 600k+. It’s not that we aren’t working hard. It’s that your generation fucked it up for ours. I’m 24 making 100k a year and can’t afford a house. Disgusting.

@@MatthewRoussinVolleyball, my generation didn't do anything to you. I'm a millneial. Grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for your situation.

Be honest I think that's too much . I think she should match whatever they save for a down payment that way they have skin in the game.

Living in poverty

renting

@@cutehumor whats a pump job

@@frankmundo4300 gas, walmart, target, starbucks.....many it means jobs that have low pay and insurance... taken by those who expenditures are low.

We will get there brother. Or at least our kids.

Yes @Bruh be encouraged! I’m praying for you; I completely understand where you’re coming from.

I hear you. I don't necessarily get jealous but I do feel like the kids my age don't appreciate their parents much when they do stuff like this. They just expect it.

Trust me you don't want a house that your parent really owns. I would hate it and would live in a tent if I had to.

Sure does

Do you live in a big city or small town? And did you buy with cash or get a mortgage?

@@chief8079 I'm sure at 31 most of the folks do it through mortgage

@@chief8079 I have a mortgage, in Louisville KY

Yeah, this is unbelievable. I kinda expected him to say it’s a bad idea but he barely even questioned the logic of it. I’m waiting on the day these kids show up on the show claiming they’re millionaires who didn’t inherit anything.

Thank you! That's the impression I'm getting also 👀

Yeah, something's wrong with this picture. Why would you "deprive" your children of the opportunity to buy their own homes?

@@mitchellm3536 I think he didn't question it too much because it sounded like this was literally her husband's dying wish. But on the inside, Dave probably thought it was a very bad idea.

It kind of sounds like they were waiting for dad to die because he told them he was going to buy them a house. Classic economic outpatient care

MUST BE NICE

Smart dad

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Wait until they have kids. As parents they won't pay for anything since mom has bought them everything.

Nothing wrong with buying your kids a house to make their life much easier. As long as they aren't bums and raised right and are good people, don't see any issues. I have two kids and I would do the same if I were in the position when they are older.

You have no idea what you are talking about lol

Excellent advice!

60 is a huge blessing I hope they appreciated it

Or have her name on the title at a percentage of ownership

Change your career. We came from nothing although my parents got educated. My brother and brother in law are both wealthy as a technician and a realtor

This is the best comment I so agree with you, I have seen people give kids homes and the kids didn't know what to do with it and lost it, if they are wise with money it's different.

THIS IS A GREAT PLAN

Great idea!

That is good! :)

Agree!!!!!

Sucks for them

Bragging about not buying something for kids 🤙🏼

@@bb-1359 😂 James thinks he's so hard

That's real greed right there. When you're in a position to help your OWN kids and you brag about not doing it.

@@erickgutierrez6743 If you give a man a fish, you feed him for a day. If you teach a man to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.

I thought the same 😆

That was just weard.

The cost of living is just lower... comparable houses in Portland and Denver cost more!

@@blessedabundantly9890 They're choosing to live in higher COL areas. If she wants to maintain good family relationships, she should give all kids the same amount.

@@blessedabundantly9890 You are missing the point friend. Why distribute a different gift because of where those punks chose to live. An equal amount is healthier if she really cares about her children.

and insurance and upkeep.

I agree. It's not the parent's responsibility to get their kids into a home.. and the fact that they're all mid-late 30s and still rent is 100% on them

@@saulgoodman2018 She made it sound like she was out of the business.

💯

Because the kids losers, circling like vultures waiting to pick the parents carcass clean. Do not throw them a leg!

If you don't buy me a house you will never see your grandkids. I have seen it!

Weak

Being quiet about your finances shouldn't make your mom think you aren't good with your money. I think there are signs that a person is not managing money well. Is that person asking for money? Is that person struggling with bills while also spending a lot of money on entertainment, clothing, and dinner out? etc.

I think giving them a house is better than paying a kids college

@@Austenfan177 you are so correct, and that’s exactly what my parents are doing for my brother and I. They’re currently handing over our inheritance a little at a time now so that we may enjoy it. I’m 45, and am so appreciative of it.

@@Austenfan177 I'm glad you're not my daughter. My kids enjoy my company because we love each other, not because I'm systematically handing over everything I worked for.

Agreed. Delaying gratification these days is not a common strength

On what a 150k house?

@@billwilliams699 it was possible before the pandemic, the current economy is much worst now then when I wrote this. Yea it was, $160K and $100K houses. Those houses now value twice the amount. On third house now with 120K but big down payment...

My father did something similar for me. At the time, he gave me the down payment for the condo I selected, and since he knew real estate, arranged the mortgage. I paid the mortgage monthly as well as all expenses since the condo was always only in my name. I recently sold it and relocated to another part of the country. I think paying a mortgage and other expenses teaches a person a great sense of responsibility and instills confidence and self worth.

Yes re $. Just give gift limit

I would allocate an equal, set amount to help each of them when they are ready and qualified to buy a home, but would never promise to provide an unlimited 20% down payment for any mortgage loan amount they choose.

$4 million is a tight budget ? 😅

​@@lorirogers9304 Well, just do the math. She has $3 mil in cash, which leaves $1.5 for her for retirement after buying homes for the kids. If she has 25 years of retirement that's about $60k a year. She said her home is worth about a million so taxes are probably like $15k a year plus insurance is another $5k minimum. So not even including any other life expense she's only allocated $40k a year in retirement plus whatever she gets from social security. Idk about you but I'd want a little more than $60k a year for retirement.

@@MuffinTessee I’m lookin at $30,000 or less per year when I retire. Her dilemma would be a windfall for me.

I know a lot of people who choose to raise their kids by making them “earn” everything because that’s how they were raised by their parents, and none of them ended up being successful, with one exception. Not buying your kids a house does not make them successful. I don’t understand why people would take a strategy that failed them and use that same failed strategy on their kids.

@@johnmartin4641 Personal anecdotes are interesting. Thanks for sharing :)

​@johnmartin4641 I have very responsible kids,the ones who wanted it put themselves through college, one bought a home at 27, and has a degree that she paid for working her way through, and they own a franchise business. The other graduated high school a year early, got a degree, her own money earned to pay for it, became an honors high school teacher, recently retired, , the other a professional massage theraphist and home maker, the other a SAHM, all before their early 30s, Funny, Dave did not ask what her kids do for a living, or if they go to school, college or have jobs, any plans of their own, ambitions etc. why not? Many a rich or priviledge young person totally blew it, or snorted it. Easy money does not guarentee success.

These aren’t children, they are full grown adults. I cannot for the life of me think of an experience more humiliating or infantilizing than this course of action.

But why do that to your adult children? They're married, either give them a gift or let them figure it out

I wouldn't want I bought you a house thrown in my face. If I don't live up to a parent standards. No thank you.

Yeah, that is what my parents did and my mom is free to come and go as she pleases with nagging and all.

@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 😅

Yeah... she really needs to rethink giving her kids half a million if she doesn't trust them to manage it properly. Why would anyone want their mom to be their landlord? Not to mention the spouse who is not related... It would be a hard no from me if my mother in law wanted to be my landlord lol

@@MuffinTessee exactly, it’s not a gift if there are strings.

@@mama2meditate375 Also if the child and their spouse split the house may be divided between the child and their ex. Too many potential issues.