I is a women, i have the surgery receipts for proof!
@yup67302 жыл бұрын
I can have babies…pretty sure I’m a woman…lol
@realrickyshea2 жыл бұрын
Oh I know I'm a woman from my plentiful facial hair. Like, what else could I be?
@transparentglazier2 жыл бұрын
Gets hysterical if you forget to put the seat down If involved in an argument, repeats the same faults 10x times and remembers all the dates Complains if you fold her dainties incorrectly, Ill stop there for my own safety
@democratpro2 жыл бұрын
@UCqv-hzFnIYtiKhV16KBT79g unfunny jokes almost never make it through the algo
@michaelshubr40842 жыл бұрын
“I too was once a man trapped in a woman’s body, and then my mother gave birth to me!”
@taramiller32362 жыл бұрын
So? That's not definite.
@annetteglass20062 жыл бұрын
Very funny. This deserves far more thumbs up!
@AB-fv8qm2 жыл бұрын
Underrated comment
@samthing4thetrack8062 жыл бұрын
but... you literally were a female first, and then that massive release of testosterone changed you... biologically(
@roialvarez75422 жыл бұрын
Hahaha very witty And I agree with them, UNDERRATED comment
@TheSpicyLeg2 жыл бұрын
You’ll know you’re a woman if you can never decide where to eat, but you ALWAYS know where you don’t want to eat.
@KayElayempea2 жыл бұрын
Haha, that is true!
@gbonkers6662 жыл бұрын
Or if you let your husband choose, but eat off of his plate...
@cannedlaughter25352 жыл бұрын
@@gbonkers666 Guys be like: "Just order some fries, already. I want ALL the fries in my order and do NOT want to share!"
@kareng93762 жыл бұрын
Bahahahahahahahahaaaaa....well, you're not lying🤣
@kareng93762 жыл бұрын
These comments🤣🤣🤣🤣
@carinarampold60715 ай бұрын
If a guy askes you to find something they swear isn’t there and you find it there
@BoughtByTheBlood3 ай бұрын
Women's purses are like Santa's toy sack. They are gateways only they can access that lead to an endless number of different dimensions. THAT'S why they can magically reach into their purses & immediately pull out stuff a dude just spent 15 minutes searching for.
@blackdragon7962 ай бұрын
That's more like a mom and grandma super power. They just pull out the non existing objects out of their ash😹
@blackdragon7962 ай бұрын
@@BoughtByTheBlood Fr, I can fit a long diving knife in one of my purses.
@gavriel20052 ай бұрын
You don't realize how terrible it is to be a man who lives alone because of that problem, maybe I'll end up getting those tags that allow you to find things with your phone and tie them around things I know I keep losing (I lose my phone as well, but when I do I can tell it through my tablet or TV or computer to ring and then I can tell it's right in the place where I looked at 3 times already, so it's not a big deal to find the phone).
@josephthomas22262 ай бұрын
this is backward. I can NEVER find things and my wife always sees what I am looking straight at but don't see.
@Pedro386272 ай бұрын
If your car is a mess but your bedroom is spotless
@ScaryBaldMan2 жыл бұрын
You might be a woman if you are "not hungry" but then proceed to "have a bite" of everything a man has ordered.
@SensSword2 жыл бұрын
It's a shit test. Don't let her get away with it. If she persists, start wearing her socks around the house. Use every argument she used for sharing food, but apply it to socks.
@eliadaballazhi29822 жыл бұрын
it’s just a craving at that point. Like i know I'm full and i don't want to eat but somehow it looks too good to resist that one bite. In my country we have a specific word or phrase for that, and craving would be closest i guess.
@TheJwbooth2 жыл бұрын
Bite, as in, starving wolf
@Noperare2 жыл бұрын
When she says she is "not hungry", you buy extra large fries because she will eat half of yours but will be offended if you buy her own separated fries.
@emmanuelmicron36852 жыл бұрын
oh yeah. first time in my life i had to growl like a dog to defend my food.
@michaeldavid6284 Жыл бұрын
#14: You can take boiling hot wax, pour it on your upper thighs, rip the hairs out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
@shareeburbank2836 Жыл бұрын
🤣
@MasaroZilian Жыл бұрын
Just pour the boiling wax on the spiders
@douglascooper1987 Жыл бұрын
GOLD!!🎯
@13o13o Жыл бұрын
credit goes to bill burr for this one
@hogfarmer Жыл бұрын
Now that right there is funny 😂
@cybercriminal31105 ай бұрын
OMG I had suspicions that I might be a woman, but after watching this video and failing most of these, I'm so relieved! Thank you!
@MaxBelcher-wv2vyАй бұрын
I thought I was a woman my whole life, but I started to have doubts after the first one: "Always cold".
@ajmittendorf8 ай бұрын
My new favourite term: "Femalian." (1:40)
@Nicronomicon_The6 ай бұрын
I am a femalian feline trapped in a Femalian body and ugh it sucks bro...also I'm freezing because I changed the thermostat by 1 degree...truth.
@ajmittendorf6 ай бұрын
@@Nicronomicon_The I'm pretty sure you're human, but I understand the thermostat thing. I'm just the opposite: burning hot in the middle of a January blizzard with no heat in the house.
@grantbarnes36782 ай бұрын
< femoid
@leftmikerightmike2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this, I already thought my girlfriend was a woman, but this confirmed it and gave us both some much needed peace of mind.
@kobusg74602 жыл бұрын
Fire in the hole...
@crazyvvirgoactions24162 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@davidduncan33652 жыл бұрын
I'm not sure unless I hear that one question only a woman will ask. What are you thinking?
@mikelisteral78632 жыл бұрын
do you believe in the 'patriarchy' conspiracy theory? you might be a woman
@orange_cat2 жыл бұрын
Confirmed. Your girlfriend and I agree.
@momdad53682 жыл бұрын
I am a woman and I approve of this message.
@ajs963502 жыл бұрын
But how do you know you are?
@fluffysheap2 жыл бұрын
Going by the username, you might not be sure 🤣
@hollowhelmet132 жыл бұрын
really ?
@momdad53682 жыл бұрын
@@fluffysheap my kids set up this account, not me
@Golfnut_20992 жыл бұрын
I know I am NOT a woman... and I approve this message... (Just do not tell my wife how hard I laughed, because then the 8 pillows on the bed will stay there and I will have to sleep on the couch...)
@YohielSpeaks5 ай бұрын
"Always cold!" You nailed it right out of the gate. Perfect!
@stephenkalatucka62133 ай бұрын
They can wear a sweater, but would rather you set the thermostat to "Surface of the Sun."
@TheMaan20082 ай бұрын
🤣🤣
@patricktobin138821 күн бұрын
Until menopause... NOW I'M the one wearing sweats inside when it's 95 outside!
@davidmason709315 күн бұрын
Until later on in life.
@jamesharrison427210 ай бұрын
OK ~ No boxes checked ... With all the money I'll now save on shoes, I can spend on those who did check the boxes. You're a financial wizard!
@pursuingpurity5962 жыл бұрын
My favourite thing about the ridiculous response of the supreme court justice is that by saying "I'm not a biologist", she pretty much agreed that our biological make-up determines our gender. I love it when people trip on their own nonsense.
@road_king_dude2 жыл бұрын
Yep. Insanity
@hunhsintze2 жыл бұрын
One astute observation...
@davewissel49322 жыл бұрын
How she should have answered: "Senator, my job is to sit in judgement of the laws YOU write. Do you have a specific law or definition in the present federal or state definition
@road_king_dude2 жыл бұрын
@@davewissel4932 yep. But she punked out
@stradlinggary68782 жыл бұрын
Great insight!: She capitulated her position: She should have said: “I am not a psychologist” or “I am not a sociologist”. A biologist is pinned on chromosomes, DNA, and physiology. That being said, there are many people (though a very small subset of the population) who are mentally at odds with their biological state. This is a major barrier for them to lead normal lives (Here “normal” is a scientific term), and to fully benefit from the social structures established (by God) for the benefit for most individuals and for society as a whole. That is genuinely tragic for them and those who love them. But it is not a reason to dismantle a wholesome and rewarding social structure.
@silviagregorowicz47862 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this public service! I was so confused even after pushing out three humans. Now I'm 85% sure I'm at least 60% woman!
@icallmysugarcandy2 жыл бұрын
I’m jealous. I’m sitting at 50/50. 😕
@Mr._Anderpson2 жыл бұрын
Should anyone need help pushing them back in, I've been waiting for this opportunity to shine. As a man, it's all I have to offer. Might have to do a little Han Solo action on a frozen tauntaun to get the little bugger to fit, but where there is a will there is a way.
@surfersilver66102 жыл бұрын
I question your assessment of yourself, your body your choice and all, but I feel (Fu@K facts!) that your conclusion is possibly only 30% correct based on 50% of what you wrote making you 20% woman. Very possible your Trans-something.
@sophiateague17392 жыл бұрын
Gold
@DekkarJr2 жыл бұрын
At least all 3 were humans! :D Would be wild if you pushed out the 3rd one and it was a whole litter of kittens. I'd have some question for the obgyn for sure!
@WhatIfComedy5 ай бұрын
It's a problem that this is so hard for people to comprehend.
@cameronpike15134 ай бұрын
The pillow one is sooo accurate! 🤣🤣
@kevinogill67262 жыл бұрын
Been married 30 years and that "I'm fine" quote is spot on. The only time you can be certain she is not fine is when she says she is.
@phamquang78852 жыл бұрын
"When they ask you how you are, you just have to say that you're fine, but you're not really fine..."
@icallmysugarcandy2 жыл бұрын
When a woman says “Fine”, it’s your cue to respond, “My beautiful sweetheart. I can see something is bothering you. I want to hear what’s on your mind. Please tell me. I’m listening.” I’m totally joking. When she says “Fine”…RUN!😂
@MS-ye9tg2 жыл бұрын
Really? All this time I thought my wife was fine. I better ask her again.
@julietmurphy86372 жыл бұрын
My husband pointed at me when the "fine" thing was mentioned. "You! When you say you're 'peachy', I know you're not!" 😂
@fredstjohn71652 жыл бұрын
@@icallmysugarcandy But then her reply is, "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you."
@JNETHollyday Жыл бұрын
Listening to this while wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket surrounded by an assortment of pillows. I embrace my womanhood proudly.
@hippy1002 Жыл бұрын
Embracing women is one of my favorite pastimes 😃
@blackwater7183 Жыл бұрын
Those pillows.🤣
@smythharris2635 Жыл бұрын
Me too, or is that a hash tag thing?
@1014p Жыл бұрын
Its alarming you both have a blanket and multiple pillows. But its hilarious at the same time.
@michaelsparks6084 Жыл бұрын
Lol, good one!
@user-dm1vo5fr2x3 ай бұрын
God knows I needed a laugh like that! And so did you guys, Thank you for clearing up the perplexing mystery. F'n awesome!!
@AuntBBrett7 ай бұрын
OMGoodness - thank you for this video, I am still cracking up!!! Also love all the comments, all are soooo true!!!!
@teresav2475 Жыл бұрын
After having 3 kids and having the bleeding thing, I still wasn’t convince that I’m a woman. But OMG I can totally tell the 2 shades of white. I am so happy 😅that this has confirmed that I am a woman!
@bettytigers Жыл бұрын
I wouldn't be surprised if you turn out to be a comedienne! 🙂
@sammann3577 Жыл бұрын
Yeah bro you might be women bro
@pommiebears Жыл бұрын
I stopped at two. It wasn’t the kids, or giving birth that I didn’t like…. It was my ex husband lol. I knew I was a woman when I reached a certain age, and I’d have a bath, stand straight up…. And my boob was still under my foot! 😂
@zizio960 Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@mattiacenacchi726 Жыл бұрын
Yeah but if you're american technically you act like a man and so this confused you
@pslgreg2 жыл бұрын
I remember Ben Shapiro saying to a guy who thought he was a woman and said he felt like a woman; How can you know you feel like a woman when you've never been one?
@mikicoal2 жыл бұрын
The whole thing is bonkers. Everybody is an individual with no experience being any other person than themselves. Why not just say, "I am ME" and leave it at the spectrum that it is. Leave male and female descriptions for biological traits.
@krdiaz80262 жыл бұрын
Thankfully, with this video, that guy can prove he really is a woman. "I'm a woman because I have a lot of pillows!"
@chenanigans2 жыл бұрын
Right? This always makes me think of how like right now for instance I'm a few days away from my cycle. I already know because I already start getting fatigued and sleepy and hungry and down in the dumps and then sore in certain areas. Once it starts I have full on debilitating cramps that leave me curled up in a fetal position with a heating pad wrapped around my abdomen and a bottle of Ibuprofen by my side. It is absolutely miserable. All the symptoms from beginning to end take about a week and half. And I still have to go and work and continue to function and smile and push through it because that's just life. Once a man has to go through this then they can talk to me about feeling like a woman. 😒😒😒. They will never experience what we do. To say they do is insulting and an absolute slap in the face. I respect men and appreciate their roles and contribution to society. If these kinds of ppl really respected us they would stop tryna erase us and our realities. It is rude.
@48956l2 жыл бұрын
@@mikicoal I agree with this. Anyone should be able to adopt any gender role they’d like, dress however they’d like, speak and act however they’d like, and still be treated with basic human dignity.
@HakaiKaien2 жыл бұрын
They feel and behave like women, even though no women behave like that
@HappyFencers-dj2pz6 ай бұрын
Love it, from Dublin Ireland
@rockkitty1003 ай бұрын
If you give directions by saying "turn right at the blue house and then left a ways down when you see the pretty garden on your left next to the yellow house" vs. "go west on 5th and turn north on H ave."
@TheWilferch2 ай бұрын
Compass directions...won't work with the so called fairer sex.
@davidpitchford6510Ай бұрын
Or turn left at [some ridiculous department store I never heard of]
@jennifergirling685017 күн бұрын
True😂
@northernzeus7682 жыл бұрын
Thank you Babylon Bee. Being 6’3”, covered in hair and never having had a human pop out of me I was confused about my gender. However…I have not hit a curb in several weeks and have no extra pillows on my bed so I can confidently say that I am a man. A sense of relief has washed over me.
@rmp7400 Жыл бұрын
But are you always cold!?? This is a real phenomenon because women have at least one pint less blood in their bodies (more fat, but less blood).
@Tawadeb Жыл бұрын
So insightful
@glanni Жыл бұрын
Can you tell what shade of color things are?
@foryousten Жыл бұрын
I often feel cold, and I’m bleeding regularly, I’m carpenter,
@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied Жыл бұрын
I am grateful for your drive and astuteness, as a woman, myself. You have my sincerest apologies, on behalf of the majority of women, for the confusing oppressiveness of feminism.
@HisWordisLife4U Жыл бұрын
One big one you forgot: When you tell someone about a problem you don't want a solution, you just want them to listen and agree that it is hard/stupid/difficult/messed up, etc.
@grahamleupp Жыл бұрын
That should go right after 'being cold' !!
@tomgreene7942 Жыл бұрын
Hey, you just described my significant other. You just confirmed that her pronoun is she and she is a woman? Golly!
@annerolls444 Жыл бұрын
Bingo!!!😁
@HisWordisLife4U Жыл бұрын
@@annerolls444 We just want to hear them say: That must be hard to deal with honey, can I do something to help? Can I draw you a Bubble bath and take the kids to the park so you can have some peace and quiet? Can I make you a cup of tea? Can I rub your feet? Can I make dinner tonight? Ii am sorry that is happening, let me know when you are ready to pray about it and I will pray with you. I love you, you are strong and you can handle this.
@Mr.Ekshin Жыл бұрын
If you can't count the personal hygiene products you need in the bathroom on your fingers... you might be a woman. And if you need all your fingers and toes, plus those of several friends to count the products in your bathroom... then you're DEFINITELY a woman. And if you're now wondering what anyone would ever need beyond the basic 5 (soap, toothbrush, toothpaste, electric shaver and deodorant) then you're DEFINITELY a dude.
@matthewjohnson93175 ай бұрын
Whoa you guys figured it out!! Amazing!! Good work
@shawizz10 ай бұрын
OMG! HAHAHAH! I'm a Woman!!!! I can't believe how you nailed every one of my traits! All this time I thought I was alone. 😂 Well, explain this husband and children living in my household. Oh and the 23 new pillows I bought JUST for Fall.
@captain-poppleton3 ай бұрын
Have you decided where you want to eat yet ?
@TheSpicyLeg2 жыл бұрын
One of the first lessons I learned after marriage (besides, evidently, not being a woman) is that those 8 pillows on the bed are not to be used as pillows. She put 8 pillows on the bed, so I throw 6 of them off on the floor. I mean I need one. One pillow got me through 2 deployments to the Middle East. I think that suffices, but no, we have to have extra ones to take off and put back on but never freaking use. 20 years later I still don’t get it.
@cornpopishuntersrealdaddy46902 жыл бұрын
Thank God I'm not alone 😆
@daviddechamplain57182 жыл бұрын
My wife puts one in the crook of her legs at night. I have no idea what the other four are for.
@mercyp71512 жыл бұрын
As a woman who requires efficiency in house chores, I will say that I hate those extra pillows. I also know pretty fast what I want to eat.
@vax200512 жыл бұрын
I love pillows. You all need at least 6 pillows on your beds or my world view will be shattered.
@jackalenterprisesofohio2 жыл бұрын
The most I can presume is 1. "Decor" 2. The irrational fear someone will show up as a guest and see how "horrible our bedroom is" 3. Makes the nest look bigger for like....... reproductive reasons...... 4. Decor 5. _Decorations_
@rickintexas15842 жыл бұрын
Wow! My wife is a woman. Thanks guys! BTW, it was the 6 pillows thing that gave me the final clue. You guys are awesome!
@did_I_hurt_your_fee_fees2 жыл бұрын
Do you throw 5 of them on the floor when you go to bed at night or do you have to keep them on the bed when you sleep and have your feet dangling off the bed?
@GrassPossum2 жыл бұрын
That's the only one I doubt. Having had stable angina for years, I had seven pillows, and if a doctor suspects heart problems in a man, they ask "how many pillows do you sleep with". It's standard procedure. However those useless fluffy pillows, are a tell. At least my pillows had a use. I am a no on all others though so remain confident I am a man.
@mburke2852 жыл бұрын
Polite people don't talk about what the extra six pillows are on the bed for. But it's not for sleeping.
@timopper54882 жыл бұрын
When you married her, how certain at that point were you that she was a woman? And how long until you finally received the 6 pillows clue?
@mikelisteral78632 жыл бұрын
do you believe in the 'patriarchy' conspiracy theory? you might be a woman
@TempestKrimpsАй бұрын
1:29 as soon as he says "period" a period appears at the end of the word "bleed". absolutely brilliant
@stevefraioli483810 ай бұрын
That's pure therapy for what we're up against these days. Thanks.
@droth10312 жыл бұрын
That awkward moment when a satirical video speaks more truth than our current society
@stephenleonard56122 жыл бұрын
Sadly, there are a lot of those moments these days. Most headlines about the administration make me think, "I hope that's the Babylon Bee." It usually isn't. 😱
@margaritakleinman57012 жыл бұрын
Yup!!
@plasticlawnchair71972 жыл бұрын
it's satirical because its truth
@eviea68972 жыл бұрын
Not all of our society. Just a small faction of far left radical extremist idiots with big mouths, bad attitudes, and a complete lack of common sense and morals.
@monkfishy63482 жыл бұрын
That is most satire.
@blujay91912 жыл бұрын
When I moved out of mom's house a friend gave me perhaps the best piece of advice I ever got. "Don't spend any real money on furniture, dishes, or any other kind of home furnishings or decorations. Sooner or later you will meet a woman and all that stuff comes with them."
@lizh49332 жыл бұрын
Hahahahahahaha!! That's true and when you get married more shit comes in the door.
@simplegospel6922 жыл бұрын
That was good advice. 🤔
@payaj28152 жыл бұрын
Hahahahaha right
@surfersilver66102 жыл бұрын
Taking notes....📝 "Buy IKEA....or Walmart...or Cracker Jack box."
@NibsNiven2 жыл бұрын
And even if she doesn't have her own furniture, she'll shame you into throwing yours out and making you pay for crap that she likes.
@TrangNguyen-vc3yk2 ай бұрын
This is gold. Enjoy it every time.
@basementhobgoblin5 ай бұрын
You have made several good points sir!
@tracy4aminute3762 жыл бұрын
I am a woman and I am fine with this message, really just fine, yah don’t EVEN worry about it . I SAID I WAS FINE!
@slatsgrobneck75152 жыл бұрын
LOL!! :)
@surfersilver66102 жыл бұрын
Here have a pillow 👐🏻💊+low or 4. 👐🏻💊+low 💊+low 💊+low. They may be filled with Valium or filled with down feathers, anyone's guess. Either should work though. I think the color scheme is hideous but I'm a guy so what do I know.
@sepandghanouni77412 жыл бұрын
But I think your body language says otherwise
@jamesmckane12052 жыл бұрын
Okay Okay I believe you. 😫😫😫
@khill40532 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂😂
@jac73092 жыл бұрын
Birthing a human and the fact that “I bleed” didn’t totally convince me but realizing why I can’t follow simple movie plots or make up my mind on what to eat has finally helped me realize that I am a woman. Thank you for this.
@o0GrayMatters0o2 жыл бұрын
i'm glad you're "fine" with that
@TheStraightestWhitest2 жыл бұрын
@@katherineprice96 Fun fact, you are also a woman if you are unable to detect obvious sarcasm. Congratulations, I think you might be a woman.
@katherineprice962 жыл бұрын
@@TheStraightestWhitest haha...that was actually my husband that you must be replying.
@draculauraxox2 жыл бұрын
@@TheStraightestWhitest No way, as a woman who uses sarcasm for humor, I guess I am not a woman since I am completely able to detect sarcasm!
@TheStraightestWhitest2 жыл бұрын
@@draculauraxox Correct. You're a man. Women don't have sarcasm.
@btoolman9 ай бұрын
Tacos sound awesome! Great idea!
@Volunteerballoons5 ай бұрын
I approve this video… right on! And proud too!
@homesteadnurse Жыл бұрын
My husband is a college biology professor. I'm going to suggest that he use your insightful video as an additional teaching tool, just in case some of his students aren't sure.
@WastedTalent83 Жыл бұрын
ahhahaha nowadays, this could really be an eye opening considering how tarded are kids xD
@Kornknealious Жыл бұрын
I'm sorry to say, but I'm willing to bet at least one or two of your Husband's students might honestly be literally confused over this issue. Please let us know when it does happen. And please let us all know their reaction after they've watched this well researched video. :P
@itsallokay Жыл бұрын
I'm curios to find out the outcome, please keep us posted!
@taryncornelius548 Жыл бұрын
He will get fired !!!
@morpheus6749 Жыл бұрын
Is your husband even allowed to differentiate between man and woman in the classroom, let alone describe the differences in specific terms? I highly doubt it.
@andrewheffel3565 Жыл бұрын
You know you might be a woman if you say, "nothing for me" at the fast food joint, but eat half mine after I get my food.
@ppumpkin3282 Жыл бұрын
We went out to dinner with a women who said she was "nut hungry" so we only ordered appetizers. Then she ate our appetizers. Or she needs to know what your going to order before you decide to order.
@RESISTAGE Жыл бұрын
happens with my wife all the time. I think it's because she's a woman. but I may be wrong.
@PhxLawBall Жыл бұрын
This is SOOOoO true!
@nihilistic7840 Жыл бұрын
That's her way of being close to you
@andrewheffel3565 Жыл бұрын
@@nihilistic7840 Yup, and I make sure I order enough to share.
@WritingfromAnywhere13 күн бұрын
I love this. And I am a woman. Who does not use throw pillows, or MLM, or white paint, but I still love this.
@vivianecristinavicentimach57894 ай бұрын
It was very enlightening.
@perryjohnson64612 жыл бұрын
This should be mandatory viewing for all gender studies majors.
@russs75742 жыл бұрын
It should be mandatory viewing for all Woke Warriors and SCOTUS justices.
@surfersilver66102 жыл бұрын
ALL Politicians too, with all the Dems/Left/Liberals put in the FRONT of the room and sent home with extra homework.
@Squee_Dow2 жыл бұрын
I want a huge bag of popcorn and a large coke to watch the leftists go into convulsions from all the triggers contained herein.
@ruthietreselan2 жыл бұрын
Lol
@LeelooMinai2 жыл бұрын
It's not funny, because it's based on ignorance and naive simplifications - it's funny only for simple-minded people who think that making fun of nuances makes them look good.
@romans12292 жыл бұрын
You know you’re a woman when : You have a closet full of clothes and “ nothing to wear”
@zoebaggins902 жыл бұрын
Nothing appropriate to wear for that particular occasion.
@mlokole2542 жыл бұрын
I'm a definitely a woman, thanks for confirming
@jacquesmerde32822 жыл бұрын
We had two walk-in closets full of her clothes and shoes. She could never find anything to wear.
@kendrawalker5863 Жыл бұрын
That's right!
@gusloader1236 ай бұрын
@@jacquesmerde3282 Probably because she blimped-out within a month of buying the "Twiggy" sized clothes.
@lolipka10 ай бұрын
Woah, I had some doubts, but you dispelled my doubts.
@peggybruening44157 ай бұрын
Love you, Babylon bee!
@pabrowncoatbrewer71542 жыл бұрын
If you can turn a compliment into an argument, you might be a woman.
@MrAbeAllen2 жыл бұрын
you look so nice today
@sidwhiting6652 жыл бұрын
@@MrAbeAllen , are you saying I didn't look nice yesterday? Are you?!?
@edmoody29202 жыл бұрын
OH THATS HOW ITS GOING TO BE, FINE!
@did_I_hurt_your_fee_fees2 жыл бұрын
Me: My God baby, you look amazing! Her: What? I don't look amazing all the time? Me: Of course you do but you just look really good now in that dress! Her: So you think I look ugly most of the time. Me: :/ Tonight is going to suck, isn't it?
@mindless28312 жыл бұрын
This definitely should be one of them
@billaveda64082 жыл бұрын
You might be a woman if you can still remember that time 20 years ago when your husband annoyed you for not buying the dry oregano that you had put on the shopping list but instead brought home dry parsley, and you never forget to mention it to him when you get into an argument about how he doesn't take your needs seriously.
@daveeyes2 жыл бұрын
Grudges last forever.
@anneb8892 жыл бұрын
Omg, that one seems extreme. I thought bringing up the time my husband forgot to pick up our daughter from daycare was a little mean to reference. But, you’re still together after 20 years….so that’s something. I’m such a pest I would probably buy some warehouse sized huge thing of oregano and say I don’t want to hear about it anymore. 🤣
@00Recoil2 жыл бұрын
Well, obviously. You mistook one dried green leafy herb for another. That's not going away any time soon. That's not something you just "get over".
@raymundhofmann76612 жыл бұрын
It is just that "parsley" is a code for a long history of not serving your master appropriately.
@54fighting52 жыл бұрын
That seems pretty specific Bill. You have my sympathies🙏
@Goldies869 ай бұрын
The MLM thing 😂 Used to do Jamberry and Plexus! 🙋🏻♀️ This is great.
@winstonhewett66795 ай бұрын
Gallagher's line on this was fantastic! "I have sometimes wondered if I have a woman's sprit trapped in my body & I don't know it because she's a lesbian! Kind of puts everything into perspective!
@markgrygielewicz8047 Жыл бұрын
I am always cold, and I thought I was a woman, but seeing this video, I have realised that I am in fact dead, and that I have been dead for a number of weeks. Thank you The Babylon Bee for clearing up this problem that I have.
@evelyneself4938 Жыл бұрын
Funny, made me laugh.
@bartman59laj55 Жыл бұрын
At least you can look forward to voting in the coming election......
@chuckintexas Жыл бұрын
@@bartman59laj55 - Yeah , but ONLY as a Demoncrat .
@-..l Жыл бұрын
I love my body pillows cold and partially decomposed.
@alisabundrick4707 Жыл бұрын
I thought I was a women until this video - how many of these criteria must I fit.... I am always hot and I can figure out how a movie will end usually within the first 30 mins and I can smell sarcasm a mile away....so.... I guess my pronouns are ummm.....Her/him?
@guillermoperezsantos11 ай бұрын
If you can´t remember were you left the keys just 5 minutes ago... BUT you can perfectly remember what you boyfriend said and make you cry 5 years ago
@brentfreeland58344 ай бұрын
Why are women so good at archeology? Because they live for digging up the past. 😄
@mrs.torres70353 ай бұрын
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@MrBootneck30273 ай бұрын
Like elephants, they never forget.
@fred81742 ай бұрын
Ypu hold a grudge longer than an Irishman; which is forever.
@blackdragon7962 ай бұрын
Before we started dating, he said he was gonna kidnap me and play basketball. This always make me cry🥺💖
@amjesla7 ай бұрын
Oh, and this one: 8-9 out of 10 times, you can't open a newly bought jar or bottle!
@dailybooked9 ай бұрын
The moment with the cushions was almost too personal, because yes, they absolutely must be placed in the correct order. Even thinking of someone messing up my cushions gives me the ick
@joymahiko Жыл бұрын
#15. You shop for 7 hours at the mall, and return everything the next day.
@LaceandArmour4 ай бұрын
Good one! Or shop for 7 hours and bring nothing home!
@williamkoppos70394 ай бұрын
Good one.
@andrearace11684 ай бұрын
@@LaceandArmourYou beat me to the punch! That's literally me 😹
@LaceandArmour4 ай бұрын
@@andrearace1168 - Always happens to me, never can find what I want and I’m never satisfied! 🤣👍
@soc85812 жыл бұрын
While out with a group of friends, if you have the uncontrollable "need" to go to bathroom as a group, you might be a woman.
@plectro33322 жыл бұрын
Or having beers with the boys. Either or
@roul48422 жыл бұрын
saftey thing
@mohammedcohen2 жыл бұрын
...can you IMAGINE a guy asking his friend if they all want to follow into the MEN'S room???
@mesamom622 жыл бұрын
Given the state of public bathrooms these days, we go for herd protection. Seriously, some of us have been traumatized and can use the company.
@palaceofwisdom94482 жыл бұрын
I've never actually witnessed this. Are we sure it's a thing and not an invented trope to advance the plot on TV shows?
@ServeGod1st4 ай бұрын
❤❤❤❤ LOVED THIS !
@misterd78433 ай бұрын
You pack the freezer and pantry full of food items that will never get used and then throw them out when they're past the expiration date. Even canned goods, which actually last indefinitely unless they're rusted or bulged.
@calvinmurphy5037 Жыл бұрын
My mother, OBM, told me, "Men have outies, women of innies, and that's how they make babies." I think I was five, maybe six, but it occurred to me even then she wasn't talking about belly buttons. That was the first of my sex education, and mom, was not only not a biologist, but she, despite having only an eighth-grade education, has been proven right ever since.
@joanmoody447 Жыл бұрын
Good one. I’m going to remember that!
@terrykelly6113 Жыл бұрын
I am 70 and always thought the reams indies and outies referred to my belly button.
@rogerreid5925 Жыл бұрын
She should have been nominated to the Supreme Court
@CoffeenSpice Жыл бұрын
@@rogerreid5925 and she would probably make a better job
@blue-fj9ky Жыл бұрын
Your mom is smarter than a Supreme Court justice and I am not being ironic I mean it!
@darrenclift6704 Жыл бұрын
if she wakes up from a dream, beats on you because you cheated on her in her dream
@waynebunyan1195 Жыл бұрын
Been there, done that and she was mad at me all day for it.
@svenjansen2134 Жыл бұрын
Vague remembrance of that..
@TLK22 Жыл бұрын
My ex would say that sometime when she woke my up at night I would get mad at her. I would hold a conversation with my eyes wide open. The next day I didn't remember anything and she would be mad at me and not tell me why. Luckily it never happen with my wife.
@TheCaptainP1 Жыл бұрын
Broooo why is this so accurate
@Average1212 Жыл бұрын
I woke up with a bruised back once from being kicked because I cheated in her dream......... Then I got yelled at when I asked WTF.
@jjcc53385 ай бұрын
NAILED IT!!!
@user-uw5to4dm7b4 ай бұрын
lol, thanks for the laughs!
@cvn65552 жыл бұрын
You know you're a woman if you regularly turn to your spouse and say "I was thinking..." and that phrase is always followed by an idea that will cost him thousands of dollars. This video was very well done, not just for content but for concept, writing and acting. High production values. Even the cheesiest of backgrounds was perfect.
@Zak69592 жыл бұрын
That’s a good one
@calmdown.3842 жыл бұрын
I’ve been known to do this. 🤔
@abrareads2 жыл бұрын
This has me dying because I do this too my husband 😂😂
@egrogan64822 жыл бұрын
Agreed! See also "Honey, I have an idea..." every male I've ever known suddenly becomes very quiet and apprehensive. btw, I'm a 67 y.o. woman, I have lots of experience with this.
@yazpistachio49012 жыл бұрын
I can’t back into a parking space…does that make me a woman?
@officerahmo Жыл бұрын
Going through this comment section is literally therapy. What you hear in the media nowadays and the weirdness that's expected from both men and women, seeing someone recognize who they ACTUALLY are is very calming.
@traddymom4368 Жыл бұрын
Consoling. Definitely consoling that there are other human beings who get it.
@creationisntgood942 Жыл бұрын
@Russell Phelan What?
@CefaCat2 ай бұрын
If you clean the house before’The Cleaner’ gets there!
@MartinGonzalez-lx8jg10 ай бұрын
GENIUS !
@amygodward44722 жыл бұрын
I can confirm. I am due to push a human out of me in a few months. I've stopped driving because my spacial awareness has gone out of the window, and when my devoted man companion asked me the other day if I was ok I said yes, meant it, and thirty seconds later burst into tears for absolutely no reason and then laughed at myself because of how silly i was being. Looked up afterwards to see husband's horrified expression. He's the best.
@pepesfangirl95942 жыл бұрын
Good luck with a safe push of a human and excellent awareness of how the spatial ability is worsened by hormones of pregnancy. Congratulations mama
@turdfurgeson5172 жыл бұрын
You made me 😂
@oplars64872 жыл бұрын
Devoted man companion lmao
@PlanetWomble2 жыл бұрын
Course
@FarmsVilla2 жыл бұрын
Tell your husband he is not the only one with a special wife. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@DRibic Жыл бұрын
This guy deserves honorary doctorate in women studies
@miker252 Жыл бұрын
He can get that without having a huge student loan?
@ronaldfharring732611 ай бұрын
Forget honorary. He deserves a real doctorate in gender studies.
@Ehtbhtbrjjd11 ай бұрын
tbh when a lot of people are wrong about basic biology and simple concepts such as gender I just laugh it off and move on, but I honestly have a lot of respect for the speaker for admitting to not being a biologist, I mean, sure, we could all already tell based on the video, but I really liked that detail despite it likely being unintentional
@reinisdravnieks9 ай бұрын
😂😂😂 love it
@TheRealJellyBomb8 ай бұрын
It's called a "shameful doctorate" in women's studies, and they each get one, just for participating.
@stephanweiskorn67602 ай бұрын
Excellent video 😊!
@Hhbdr21 күн бұрын
Well done. Got all the good ones.:)
@kraevinmoorehed17762 жыл бұрын
You know you're a woman when you're angry at your significant other after a dream you had .
@fritzmiller97922 жыл бұрын
Ok, full confession (being completely secure in my manhood)....I have done that before. I was mean one day, ALL DAY, to my wife and at the day's end I suddenly realized the cause of my anger it was an impossibility in real life and must have been a dream. We ( mostly I haha) still laugh about it. So guys can do that too.
@brantdanger2 жыл бұрын
Oh hell yes. I get in trouble every few weeks because of a dream my girlfriend had.
@zac33922 жыл бұрын
“Honey, I don’t even LIKE ur sister…”
@o.r.j32132 жыл бұрын
@@fritzmiller9792 hate to break it to you bro. It appears you were a woman all along🫢
@michelemarino35792 жыл бұрын
I got mad at my daughter a couple of months ago for something she did in my dream. 😂
@Gandoff20002 жыл бұрын
If your husband has been looking for something for 15 minutes and you just pick whatever it is up and hand it to them, you might be a woman.
@davebeech2362 жыл бұрын
And it was probably you who put it where it didn't belong instead of where the husband left it.
@gunblade76102 жыл бұрын
That is because women are magicians. My wife produced something I swear right in front of my eyes out of no where when i was literally looking in the same area for a couple min.
@fredneecher17462 жыл бұрын
This is true when in shops. Women have special shopping powers.
@jasonknowles53622 жыл бұрын
My dad and I have found that if a woman puts something away we can't see it, even if they tell us where to look, but if either of us put something away we can find it immediately.
@michaelnash21382 жыл бұрын
It's the other way around for us. She can have her key lanyard around her neck and ask me where are her keys...
@fredlink10365 ай бұрын
Indicator: You are not emotionally happy unless you are complaining about something or someone.
@dawedoctopus81412 ай бұрын
BRO! I'm so glad you made the number of pillows 6, cause I have 5 and I was worried I had to re-evaluate! One under my head, one between the legs bro, one on each side of muh head so my hands have pillows too. Then the hug pillow. So validated I have 5.... BRO! High 5.
@canonen1002 жыл бұрын
If you’re strong and independent but can’t change a flat tire. You might be a woman.
@ExWEIMan2 жыл бұрын
So true. My middle management wife doesn't even know where it is stored in the car! I asked her what she would do if she had a flat tire-her answer-she would call me. I should add she expects me to put her four winter tires on by mid-November. She KNOWS they are kept in our storage locker AND she expects me to change her floor mats from the summer cloth mats to the winter rubber mats at the same time.
@saltycreole26732 жыл бұрын
My daughter can kick my ass now. 😒 Is mistaken for a boy, tough as nails. Can fix anything thanks to me! She even likes men, not women! Don't be jealous please.
@cornpopishuntersrealdaddy46902 жыл бұрын
😆👌
@goldiefatale2 жыл бұрын
we can change the tire but don't want to
@LarryDMitchell2 жыл бұрын
@@goldiefatale you don't HAVE to!
@jackbakken4536 Жыл бұрын
"You might be a woman bro", I just absolutely love that
@erniebuchinski36145 ай бұрын
Another possible sign is that you would tend to agree with what my late father told me when I was a boy: "Remember son, your mother is ALWAYS right . . . even when she's wrong."
@PDaddy442 ай бұрын
Kind of late to the party here but you might be a woman if you want to know, ahead of time, what happens in every scene of every show or movie you’ve ever watched instead of being quiet and watching the scene and forming your own opinion!
@MSSoftwareGuru2 жыл бұрын
I laughed so hard that my gum fell out of my mouth, because I hit a curb at Chili's today after deciding I would rather have us eat at Cheddar's
@michelemarino35792 жыл бұрын
I hit curbs way more than I care to admit. When I do it I'm stupid but when my son does it it was for a legit reason (or so he says).
@jasmith18672 жыл бұрын
If that gum landed in your lap and you grabbed it and put it back in you mouth and then got out and picked up your hubcap and put it back on in the middle of rush hour traffic and then went to Sonic? You're probably a real man.
@roseh30852 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@gallinoreansaber61812 жыл бұрын
Cheddar's is pretty legit
@jasmith18672 жыл бұрын
You think your day was bad? My dog stepped on a bee.
@lordofnothing255 Жыл бұрын
It turns out my wife happens to be a woman. I’m not gay so it is a big relief. Thanks for the help.
@warpspeed8305 Жыл бұрын
What if you are a woman?
@charlieruisseau247611 ай бұрын
What do you mean? It's wonderful to be gay! (... appart from the butt sex thing.)
@Mary-fn5rl11 ай бұрын
If a man isnotsure what he is we need more Loreno bobbitsthat will remind him
@karlsangree46792 ай бұрын
It seems so simple. We must be missing something.
@southrnlvingsc3 ай бұрын
He's channeling Thomas Hayden Church in Wings and Sideways. Love it.
@TOEC Жыл бұрын
#10 is so true sometimes. When she says "I'm fine", it could mean anything from "I'm fine" to "I'm quietly plotting your demise"
@chuckintexas Жыл бұрын
Broad - but CLEAR - spectrum there 👍!
@lauracorriss9538 Жыл бұрын
No. If a woman says she's "fine", she's pissed as hell. And most likely, with very good reasons to be so.
@marc5279 Жыл бұрын
everything is about body language. Even the door you just closed that for whatever reason happenned to make more noise that it usually does, will get her to say "hey what's up?", or will become angry at you because she'll think you're angry at her
@notsureyou Жыл бұрын
Usually when a woman says that she's "fine" It means...... YOUR F%$#*D.......
@shirleyswaine4701 Жыл бұрын
It can also mean "You've made it clear you get pissed off and don't want to know when I'm upset about something"
@truthforthought92412 жыл бұрын
I love what my professor told me "nonsense is nonsense even coming from a smart person" just because you have five or 10 phds doesn't give you the right to make up nonsense and call it logic.
@Tridd6662 жыл бұрын
If you have more than one phd you're not smart
@relaxation-Corner2 жыл бұрын
🙌🙌🙌
@steviewondek2 жыл бұрын
Peer reviewed studies of respected medical professionals are hardly "nonsense" only to someone who doesn't grasp the subtleties or have the cerebral capacity understand the subject.. Luckily for you peer reviewed medical studies aka "nonsense" will one day save or prolong your life.
@Tridd6662 жыл бұрын
@@steviewondek gamma male detected Depart from here and return to worshipping your false idols
@relaxation-Corner2 жыл бұрын
@@steviewondek 'experts' also once practiced blood letting and touted smoking as healthy. We measure medical success by statistics of how it saves lives bu how come Trans people have the highest suicide rates after transition? And is it surgery and hormones the only option for them to lead a good life compared to say, intensive therapy etc
@greghunt30793 ай бұрын
Thank you. Finally! Clarity.
@jasperburchfield20283 ай бұрын
I was braced to defend my masculinity, but you made me laugh instead.
@derekthehalfabee79422 жыл бұрын
You might be a woman if you give backstories when giving directions. "Then you turn left at the house with the cute porch, the one that Rick, Tammy's cousin's ex boyfriend who wanted to be a musician but wasn't very good even though Tammy was really supportive and we even went to see him at a bar that one time, and the floor was really sticky, anyway, Rick once delivered an Amazon package to.... honey you missed the turn."
@popjaw1andOnly2 жыл бұрын
Nice. And you're definitely a woman if you *ask* for directions!
@carlrood44572 жыл бұрын
My wife will tell me about something she saw on the side of the road and will literally begin the story at least a mile before the thing she wanted to tell me about.
@mh12902 жыл бұрын
That’s my pap!!!
@KipdoesStuff2 жыл бұрын
Read an article once where they said women give better directions than men because women use landmarks and mean are so stupid, these say street names and addresses. No women has ever given me directions that made any sense.
@rodneyspider94522 жыл бұрын
Mans directions Drive 250 miles turn right at the house with the red roof (All true) Funny thing was I got there no problem 😂
@bobbimurray76642 жыл бұрын
Sitting wrapped in blanket as listening to this, and just this morning my husband was ONCE AGAIN, tossing my pillows around while saying they SERVE NO PURPOSE. 🙄 You nailed this!
@IAmLeePeace2 жыл бұрын
😂
@sonclearbrahman-ar14612 жыл бұрын
The pillows do serve a purpose... driving men round the bend through their purposelessness!
@hdcordes62992 жыл бұрын
Just wait till he addresses the towels hanging in the bathroom that no one is allowed to actually use!!
@tinmaddog72 жыл бұрын
They are for sitting up in bed to read, tell them...lol
@soldadodecristo24804 күн бұрын
A good indicator is when a woman has 1/8 of a liter of oil left in her oil tank & refuses to get it changed over or filled up for another whole year. Then the engine fails & she hasn't the slightest idea why! 😂
@kevin007149 ай бұрын
Me and my ex fought over the food thing more than anything. Which then led to the "I'm Fine" thing!
@draighodge60392 жыл бұрын
My wife and Grandma, who shared our home, were both incessantly cold and subsequently turned up the furnace again and again. Eventually, I was sweating and removing clothes until we discovered their choices included wearing more clothes or accepting my nudity whenever I was in the house. Apparently, no one wanted to look at me without clothes, talk about body image insecurities.
@lizh49332 жыл бұрын
Wait till they hit menopause. Then we need to sleep in a meat locker, naked with just one thin sheet on top. Once old age sets in it's back to whining about the cold.
@michaelsorensen75672 жыл бұрын
I've always said you can put more on but there's only so much to take off.
@gscurd752 жыл бұрын
That is my house. Me shirtless and in shorts while my girlfriend is has on pants, a long sleeve shirt and is under a blanket. If I really need to cool off I just have her put her ice cold hands on my back.
@dianedow50562 жыл бұрын
The bad news is that women don't like to look at naked men. That's so annoying.
@michaelsorensen75672 жыл бұрын
@@dianedow5056 comments on any love and thunder trailer would disagree
@robynguinn89412 жыл бұрын
Being female, this resonates 100% with reality.
@mikelisteral78632 жыл бұрын
do you believe in the 'patriarchy' conspiracy theory? you might be a woman
@DekkarJr2 жыл бұрын
yep girl its so true
@monkey62072 жыл бұрын
Why do you get involved in scammish pyramid schemes? I'm a woman and I'd never do something that dumb.
@sparkles999rose22 жыл бұрын
All but hitting the curb, my husband does that
@TheStraightestWhitest2 жыл бұрын
@@sparkles999rose2 He's clearly a sigma, testing the lengths of insurance to strengthen society. We should all thank him.
@steveunger82494 күн бұрын
You might be a woman when you ask your husband, "Are you hungry?" Which actually means "I'm hungry, and you should be as well. In addition, you should also know exactly what I want even though I dont and will go against any suggestion you make. (It's best to simply respond with "No, im not hungry." It's less painful.)
@lemming5732 ай бұрын
Oh thank God, I was really worried I was a woman. Your helpful checklist really helped me out.
@auniversalwoman2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for helping Supreme Court justices who have a hard time with biology. This was excellent.
@robertthomas59062 жыл бұрын
I couldn't believe that. It was like watching children on a primary grade school playground. "Oh yea, do you even know what a woman is?" Then the kid says - "Nah nah, she's so stupid she doesn't even know what a woman is." Joke's on us, they confirmed her.
@sharjo522 жыл бұрын
Maybe this man needs to be a judge,he can answer the most important question!
@jaysky20002 жыл бұрын
@@robertthomas5906 When I watched the hearings and heard her answer I thought that would be the end of her. Sadly, I was mistaken.
@george40nelson42 жыл бұрын
You don't have to be a biology major these days to know what a woman is. A woman is a creature that wants to be able to kill her own child while a man is a creature that just wants to be able to have sex with it. See , that was easy !
@tonygreif49312 жыл бұрын
I'm no biologist but I think a woman could have two or three X's, a Y or two, maybe even a Z. Who knows?!