THE LIST - docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1_K3ziSxT9zcUUGCddS4sF1uNJTWHSbOwB1CQX2Rx4Uo GOG Homepage - www.gog.com/partner/mandalore?pp=ea44f9f30a420daae75cc97b35ace35e373be70a Avoid Vore Station at all costs.

"The clown is the number one suspect." That's every round of SS13. One time a clown asked me (lab assistant) for some hydrochloric acid. Gave it to him, and he paid me a banana, and left. Less than 10 minutes later, two security officers charge into the room and beat me unconscious. One of those officers was covered in acid burns.

In my first round I kept getting severely injured and eventually the surgeon dragged me into the therapists office and decided to treat me using what he called "experimental treatments". His treatment was telling me a story, which went as follows: "Once upon a time there was a lovely assistant. This assistant was so dedicated that he put himself in harms way just to get his job done. One day he got so terribly injured that the surgeon, in his infinite wisdom, could not fix him of his terminal stupidity. So he killed him and released him from his mortal coil. The end." Then he murdered me by bashing my head in with a table lamp.

Space Station 13 >MandaloreGaming : Give it a whirl. > SsethTzeentach: 10/10 Don't play it.

"The janitor is the first line of defense against complete anarchy" FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE BEAUTY OF A SINGLE SEEMINGLY POINTLESS ROLE BEING DONE WELL.

"The clown cannot honk if you disable His hand."

A clown burned himself just to spread the fire to other people. I was one of those people. Honestly, being chased by a clown on fire, without any lights on, is one of the best horror moments I've ever experienced.

I love how Mandy is preaching being competent and not ruining other's games while Sseth is all about ruining others in the most-interesting and funniest ways

So far my best experience in the game is casually walking down the halls when some weird surgeon bonks me in the head, drags me into a dark tunnel. A few moments later and I come out with cat ears and a tail as the mad scientist runs away in victory, exclaiming “IT WORKED, HAHAHAH, IT WORKED!!”

everybody on my server is whining about this review because it brought on new players, gg

So mandalore and sseth share the same audience at this point

One of the best things I've personally found for myself in this game (it's a lie, I like tons of stuff here) is the fact your prayers are PM's to Admins. So if you pray hard - you may recieve a coockie, or they'll organize a whole event specially for you and your flock right during the round. It's just amazing. Once I stole a body from the morgue and then sacrificed it to the Cthulhu. The whole station light system just shut down and all light bubbles exploded while I was screaming prayers aloud and in prayer-chat at the same time, dancing naked in the church, full of esoteric circles and symboles. Then, a mist came. It took the body... and left me a yellow bath duck. Thank you, Cthulhu. I'll never forget it.

Just tried my first ever round as a starry-eyed assistant. I died almost immediately in a radiation storm I didn't understand, but was dragged to medbay where they tried to revive me. Again, I didn't understand I needed my ghost to be in my body for that to work, and they couldn't autopsy me or anything because I was irradiated, so they set me aside to deal with the other injured. I sat there a while and almost gave up until the clown, Bubbles, came in and started dragging me around. The clown actually performed the revival procedure, except not having dealt with my radiation... when I came alive again, I had what looked like horns, was bleeding out of every orifice, and my character was shouting things I wasn't typing. That's when everyone started screaming, because anyone I went near also got radiation sickness (which almost no one seemed to appreciate). Asking them to kill me, I ran blindly and by sheer coincidence wound up in the chapel, where the priest said calming words and got me back to medical. Once fixed of this further issue, I found I couldn't get out of medical as I had no access and was totally naked, but I did manage to get out into an open utility tunnel. In there, I just wandered the bowels of the station for a while, finding all sorts of abandoned looking stuff. First I found a gas mask. For no apparent reason I then found a pair of shoes, and then a crowbar. So I was a naked man in a gas mask and shoes, standing there holding a crowbar. That's when a worker finally came by and stood there staring at me until he finally asked, "Um. Why are you naked?" I told my story and they assured me they could help, but I was thrown to the wolves, straight to security. I didn't break character by saying I was a new player, but instead chose, "It's my first visit to the station." They didn't buy it. I was on the suspect list. What saved me was the sudden, imminent loss of atmosphere all over the station and a call for the evacuation shuttle, which again, I didn't understand. I died a second time back in the chapel, choking and wondering where everyone went... naked but for a gas mask and shoes, holding a crowbar in one hand and a pixelated bible in the other. It's the best game I've ever played.

I remember a match where 'I shit you not' Me and another player spent half an hour stuck in an airlock between the station and a mine. The other player (who was likely more experienced at the game) shoved me into a locker, stole my air tank. Then cut open the door, and jumped (dragging the airtight locker with me still in it) into the void, landing on a distant maintenance catwalk. We entered the station to find ... everything fine. The guy who was supposed to get us out had turned off his radio, because he couldn't be bothered to walk to the other end of the station.

So I decided to try out this game and my very first round was definitely interesting: Found a crab and tried to pet it. Found some skeletal remains on the floor. Picked up a jumpsuit that I couldn't equip or find out how to throw away. Some guy came up and hugged me - my character then started coughing and he told me "Don't worry, you'll be bald in a few moments." Found a guy bleeding out in the hallway, tried to drag him to the medbay but I didn't know where that was. I heard a loud crunching noise behind me and the bleeding guy had disappeared. I looked around for traces of the bleeding guy until a slaughter demon appeared behind me and murderized me. A wizard then appeared and tried to fight the demon, but died. Strangest 5 minutes of my life.

I love how that one little clip from Spaceballs captures the essence of SS13 so perfectly.

In my first playthrough I decided to go as a botanist, didn’t really do much except for walking around and trying to figure out the mechanics. The other botanists were plotting something and I decided to help. as usual, they were growing weed, a shit ton of weed, and very closely to the botanist are there was the church, I don’t remember if there was a funeral going on or the pastor was just preaching but there was a great amount of people inside the place. We locked the doors of the church, dropped that immense batch of weed in the middle of the church and lit it all on fire, we had like 15 people trapped in a room, all incredibly high

First time I played this I watched a clown get stabbed to death only for a doctor to preform surgery, I watched what I thought was a doctor saving a mans life but I noticed strange robots everywhere... He was turning dead people into Buttbots... He turned the clown into a Buttbot and it beeped "Butts" at me.

I was learning the ropes under the chief engineer, wiring up the solar arrays. things were quiet, but suddenly we hear tapping, and find darth vader knocking on the glass. after a moment of confusion he breaks in through an airlock and attacks us. The chief engineer gets his legs cut off, and I don't do too hot either, however I survive by throwing my toolbox at him. I manage to limp out into the main hallway, babbling incoherently before passing out. I wake up in medical, and get sent to get a cool robot hand. The roboticist calls me Luke. I return to engineering and barely manage to stop the singularity from escaping, and spend the rest of the round changing lightbulbs

Mandy you forgot to take your pills and you made another Space Station 13 review

My first ever round consisted of me being trapped in the janitors room because some one had hacked the door locked while I was googling the controls. After about 15 mins of fuddling around in the room the lights went out and I heard the door being pried open followed the honk of the clown. I hid in the locker as the clown ransacked the room in the dark and then left, locking the door again. Not even a minute after, I see the same clown outside the window looking at me from space with a space suit. He dashes back to the door and proceeds to beat me to death with his oversized shoes. Have to say, it was both extremely entertaining and fucking horrifying lol. It actually felt like a horror game at times.

SS13 is the closest you can probably get to the joys of tabletop gaming in a video game

OFFICER WILSON *SKELETON COP*

The first time played I ended up carrying forms from one department to another, then when I went into botany a man asked me if I wanted to go on a space adventure. Obviously I said yes so he hit me with a tool box and drugged me, I woke up naked tied to a chair while a man wearing nothing but a fes was whipping me with nettles. He did this until I died whereupon he took me to the chef who turned my corpse into burgers that they fired into space while screaming "hail to the king baby!". After that it got weird.

I was a playing a round where the station had 2 factions; The Crusaders, and the Tribals. It was constant war, attacking each other, fighting for bigger borders and resources. We had conquered the southside of the map while the crusaders ruled the north. While exploring our side, we located the ships power supply and decided to cutoff all power too the medical sector, which was on their side. Now, if we killed one of their brothers in arms, cloning wouldn't be an option. After sacrificing an emu we found and killed to the sun god, the admins threw us a bone and gave us "Power, kill metal demons!", which where earpieces to communicate with each other. This gave us the new-found confidence to try and start a treaty. We met up in the "Hallway of Peace" Then, out of nowhere, a clown shows up. That there was the only time that entire game we teamed up. To kill a clown. We left it in the cafeteria to slowly bleed out.

If you've never played SS13, don't start. save your soul.

"With entire dozens of players" Heh.

my favorite SS13 game so far involved an antag detective seemingly going off his rocker, welding steel tables to create barricades around his office, stealing the geothermal thingy on that deep-sea map, and shooting anyone who came near while we all tried to calm him down. I was just a janitor who got roped into the whole mess, but I wound up having to do first aid on a mechanic who'd been shot, which was also my first experience with the goonstation medical stuff. it felt like something right out of The Thing. EDIT: second favorite involved -- once again -- being a janitor who found a weird artifact in a storage closet, moving it out of the way because it was impeding my ability to vacuum space ants, and later being interrupted in my chain-smoking attempts at learning how to use the computers by a knocking at the door of the dark room I was in. there wasn't anyone there when I opened the door, but when I flicked the flashlight on and looked down the dark maintenance hallway, there was a perfect purple-lizard doppleganger of me, ass-naked, wandering around. that was one of the spookiest experiences I had in a game in years. EDIT: third favorite game was when some bastard chef slipped drugs into my food that turned me aggressively French and i gained a permanent cloud of flies that couldn't be dispelled because a beautiful clown goddess dragged me into a medical pod of some sort and wouldn't let me leave for nearly the entire round until the French Madness passed (which obviously precluded taking a shower)

Coming from my first real match, I have to say that I love this game. I played as a bartender, and, well, tended my bar. People would come in, ask for drinks, and tell me their stories. Through this and listening in to general comms, I slowly figured out that there was a cult infesting the station, and that the captain was trying to root it out. I didn't care, thanks to the cult scare business was booming. But then, shit started to go down. My regulars started disappearing, and I thought I could see blood in the halls. Then, the cult came for me. I was brutally stabbed, and dragged into the back room of the bar, where my assailant assumed my likeness through a demonic ritual. I was able to recover and stab him in the back before succumbing to my wounds once more. Then a lizard girl shot his head off. Thinking It may be time to exit the bar, what with the occult symbols in the back room, I left my bar.... only to die of asphyxiation immediately after.

And Mandalore was never seen again after embarking to Vorestation. Some say that he was glomped too hard by a space wolf. We'll never know for sure.

"13 year old game" Pfftt looks pretty nice to me, well not the graphics but it looks like a great indie game *Zooms out* CHRIST THE LORD! WHAT IS THIS 1992??

I just played my first game today, I was a lawyer. Got kidnapped by the Captain and put into some random facility where I lay shackled for a few mins until I realized you could break free. Break free. I find my way back to where all the people are. Sneak into security office, go to the security cam machine and see dead people all over in the labor camp area. Try to tell the police officers but they don't listen because they're busy with a plague that's spread somehow. Apparently some weird overpowered thing had killed a bunch of people at the bridge from what I overheard. I lock myself into the security office by hitting the fire alarm. I find a shotgun in a locker and harass the officers by shooting through the windows. They manage to get in and detain me. Officer Guy Fawkes takes me to the teleporter and sends me to the labor camp even though his superiors told him to put me in the brig. I plead with him but he just laughs as he sends me down there. I wake up and immediately am greeted by a bloodied Joe Average. He tells me he got sent down there too by Guy. Apparently there had been an outbreak down there early on and Guy and Joe were the supervisors over the labor camp. But instead of alerting the higher ups Guy knocked Joe out and sent him down there, he had to fight the crazed prisoners. Guy then locked off all the doors down there so there was no access to food and no way out. We were starving and he told me we either had to die together or had to eat each other since the other bodies were fucked up or something we couldn't eat them. I told him he should eat me (since I wouldn't even know how to do it anyway). So he hugged me (which was pretty gay tbh) and then punched me to death, my screen turning more and more black until I died. He then kicked my body one last time and asked if I was dead, obviously I couldn't answer. And then the server crashed.

Played as an engineer on a station for a few months, ended up creating a new supermatter engine for the station. Put out 10x more power than was needed and it did it without going critical! (at least for the first few minutes) 10/10 Would blow up half the station again!

Every so often, a major youtuber will do a video on SS13, and then the next week will be flooded with greytide. To the point where most servers will just ban youtubers on sight.

I never got Spacestation 13 just because I thought it was Malware.

"someone could find a job they love but get murdered early or inconvienced" Just like real life

Who's here after Sseth uploaded his review of SS13??

>good job /vg/station y-you too

He actually went to vore. The mad man.

I remember trying to play this a few years back. I found the easiest jobs were chef and janitor. It doesn't have the same stigma as an assistant and are still easy to do in their mechanical sense. The hard part of the janitor role is navigating the station fast enough to reach a mess before it gets out of hand. The hardest part of the chef job is getting ingredients. You're better off asking the HOP to give you the keys to the farming areas. Turns out I might actually know a little about playing low-skill jobs.

Good video Sseth

This game looks batshit-insane. I love it

I remember this story I saw online of this one station that ended up forming a cult that worshipped the clown. Their holy book was called "Mein Honkf." EDIT: "I guess security doesn't allow ape deities" had me in stitches, good grief

God bless Mandalore for telling people to up their sensors

I remember my days of doing research up to the point of getting the wormhole laser .... then I always stole the Research Officers hardsuit, equipped my bag of holding and zapped around , scaring assistants, appearing in walls and annoying security by being uncatchable ... ah the threats and insults the Research Officer screamed through the radio were sweet music to my digital ears

I would suggest pressing F1 to ask the admins instead of asking your questions in OOC if you're new, or you might do something you'll regret DISTANT WORLDS NEXT OR RIOT

I used to love this game, I was a preteen playing on the ugly station. I recently (two years ago) quit during a pretty bad deluge of RP servers. RP itself isn't that bad, it's pretty much the only thing keeping the Byond engine relevant to anybody, it was the rules of those servers that were annoying. I once got banned for telling a cat person to move his furry ass before I bashed it in. I was banned for racism *against a fictional character controlled by a non furry human being*. The game needs rules, but the security exists for a reason, if a guy is going on a murder spree security should handle it and if need be punish that user once the round is over. If security has been taken over by RDMers then an admin probably should step in, but even then that could make a round interesting but some admins would rather be some omniscient security guard. An Admin should step in when something becomes a trend of multiple rounds.

This is the first SS13 video I've ever seen, since a friend was talking about it constantly so I looked into it when he showed me this video. Can't believe how far this game has come, and how it has survived for so long. Games like these usually die out after a few years due to being unable to advertise properly, yet this one has survived because it's so fun to play, and thanks to the community forming their own servers, it has constant updates all the time, with a different, unique experience on every server.

One of my favorite rounds was when I wasn't even alive. I became a siri-like personality for someones phone and helped them hack the entire ship, it was great. Like a hapless hacker with an AI sidekick.

We had a conga line in front of the bridge a few days ago. we all laid down and started screaming until I told everyone to lay in one spot and scream instead. The captain and security didn't know what to do and I'm pretty sure the admins were laughing. It was a great time.

Advice for Security beginners: Its always the clown, even when its clearly no... IT IS!

>But I guess that depends on your server spectrum Or, you know, your server population's spectrum

Space station is one of the greatest role-playing games i've ever played. Once while i was mining some resources for scientists, they saw good potential in me. I was assigned as a miner-scientist, who would bring resources to create "stuff". But as soon as i was assigned at that job, shit started going down, players murdering each other, blackout at the station, and constant meteorite strikes. Though i dont play it anymore, give it a try, because it is a beautiful game with a lot of unexpected situations in it

The first time I played this game was after watching oneyng's video about it. I had chosen clown (who wouldn't) and began fumbling with the controls. Before I knew it, I had eaten a banana and had thrown the peel down in the busiest hallway on the station. My sides were not of this plane of existence. SO MANY PEOPLE falling down with a satisfying THUD noise. A security guard ended up cuffing me and throwing me out into space. I love the one time I played this game, and I will never play it again because of the magic that had happened.

I'm still returning to this video from time to time and as server headmin i really appreciate how you put this together for people who were exposed to ss13 before. It points out games nature and diversity while still asking people to act reasonable. This is my go to video to explain someone what ss13 is. (btw we still havent recovered from ssethtide)

"space court rooms are like christmas for space uni bombers"

Watching your round as Officer Wilson is a perfect representation of how hard it is to explain yhe gameplay even a little

Just because you aren't a clown doesn't mean you're not part of the circus.

I was a janitor and russians tried to take over the station. I died then was revived then try to look for the escape shuttle because i saw people being tazed and implanted.

One of the best rounds I ever had was growing and selling ambrosia with another botanist. Security was far too busy dealing with some cultists to worry about us. At one point all hell broke loose. My partner in crime had gone missing, and stopping answering my calls. The power kept going out and the pubic comms were implying something very bad was about to happen. My partner made it back covered in blood and told me "We need to leave now!" We grabbed all the money and ambrosia we could when it happened; an old one was summoned, the cultists did it. Help wasn't coming and we both knew death was near. I lit up a joint and took a long drag. The last thing I saw was the side of the grow room get ripped up, before getting sucked into space and turned into jelly by the old one.

My favourite stories include: That time i was a pAI and just hung out with a virologist traitor, helping her out with her goals. It was just SO CHILL When a Ravager killed almost everyone on the station and it was just the ~5 of us left, and we were this awesome squad, sticking together and surviving. At least until we got seperated and i escaped with one other guy in an escape pod. I don't know who else survived. When the roboticist subverted me as an AI and we went on a killing spree together, killing (presumably) everyone Once there were a lot of people in security. So i went there and released smoke with a chemical that would turn everyone into cutle little slimes. Speaking of slimes, one time i was this wild slime, sneaking around the station, feeding on crew members. Some people found an abandoned ship and after an interview i joined this crew of scavengers, just flying through space and looting asteroids. ...AND SO MANY MORE

Man, I used to love playing as a career janitor on Goonstation circa 2013. theres a unique sort of catharsism to be had when chucking a cleaning nade into the kitchen cause the chef's some sort of sanitation hating terrorist or wetting the whole corridor to the escape shuttle and have the entire (surviving) crew call you a shithead.

My best moment was playing as an assistant, doing chess with the chaplain, not knowing how to do chess, and later being successfully bribed by the chaplain to keep quiet about a body in maintenance.

I love how sir mando here gives off the serious and professional vibe review while sir sseth being funny but still give a professional review. Two sides of the same coin and I love it

5:35 Is this an official cameo?

1:20 Look at the tabs. Nice Meme my Mand'alor.

one round of space station 13 feels like a hour long Rick and Morty episode

I remember how on my first 6 games I would spontaneously combust randomly. This was fulpstation and I was a mothman. I tended to do botany, making super weed to get high. Turns out no one kills the drug dealers of the station. Despite being on fire often I survived every time. My worst ever moment was being jettisoned out the airlock by a syndie, attacked by space bees as I travelled in space. Pushed myself off wreckages while dying, on fire and nibbled on by space fauna and managing to fall into a hole that started leading me to a garbage compactor. I was conveyed near med Bay and some doctor grabbed me in and spent a minute saving me. The guy said that I took critical damage of every type in every body part including severe brain damage. This guy slowly fixed me and sent me out back into the station to repeat the exact same cycle again.

No matter how many of your reviews I watch, I love always coming back to this. The first one I ever saw. It is so quaint and charming!

15:01 V. O. R. E. Station... Can't be unintentional... You searched for that didn't you?!

Good review. Having worked for a couple of server (including /vg/ as a spriter), this game is so timeless. I find myself going back to it every now and again.

My first game Spawned near the end of a round as an assistant Didn’t know anything about what I was doing Ran around screaming and picking random junk up The whole station had already been going to hell for reasons unknown to me Started a convo with the inspector who sympathized me being new Ended up getting the shit beaten out of me by a cardboard box I Proceeded to trip balls on some bath salt pills I found on the ground The station started blowing up so the emergency shuttle was called I then watched as countless people beat the absolute shit out of each other while we escaped Decent first game I’d say

Ah yes Alien Extinction, the game where playing Xenomorphs was the best choice because of some programming quirk... their models could clip through each other and thus they were the only faction WITHOUT pathing issues, letting you control a big "death blob" of aliens and just right click to win.

The game is amazing. I wish more people reviewed and promoted it so we can get more players. I think the game has 300 people online at any time.

i would love to see you play this game or tell more stories, i really enjoyed hearing that one where you were the security guard

for future me - the music in the gameplay mechanics section is Alan Hawkshaw- Beat Me Till I'm Blue

This is another instance where I’ll never touch this game, but I’m happy to watch you play it.

I love this game man. I've been playing it ever since middle school. There is just so much of this game has to offer for those who sit down and take the time to do their part within the game. You can be the hero or villian of each and every round, or if you really want just mess around.

Did you just make a new video about this Mandy ?

I love how you used the evacuation scene from Space Balls. 'bout as accurate to the game as you can be

Holy shit, eat your heart out "Among Us"

ss13 review ooh _nice!_ KILL THE CLOWN FIRST

This is real! It's got an inverted cliff of a learning curve, but feel free to look in, use the beestation to start off, if you want faster, or more combat, go to cm or another action server. For slower, go to aurora, paradise, or some RP heavy server! Also don't like the server, try another! Also yes, they are this deep! Each server is unique because the amount of tweaks, modifications , and copies, making them all unique! Have fun, but don't ruin most servers, get some skill on emptier station and take orders till ya got at least the basics. I will also happily answer questions!

That feels like among us hardcore

I notice that Aurora 4x in your list. You need to tell people about this gem of a spreadsheet simulator

Oy, don't think I didn't notice you stealing my video at 0:14 (that I stole from Spaceballs). But it's cool, cause you covered SS13 pretty nicely. What servers do you tend to main?

this is genuinely my favorite review from you its just soo much fun to watch i even watch it again sometimes i don't know it just has its charm...

I really loved the Factorio soundtrack in the review, finally a man of culture!

Love this game so much, played it for years(much to my actual embarrassment) the amount of time i spent as a warden in security department was time very well spent lol. Camila hastings, very average worker who loves paper work and being tied up. played on a medium RP server, really worth doing like 3-4 rounds and having some memorable moments.

2 Years ago I was Sunny the clown. One day the HOP quite and I, the clown, took his job. I was actually a very fair and just clown, until I was fired. Why was I fired? Well a gardener wanted a shovel from cargo, cargo was being a dick and didn't want to give him one so I gave the gardener access, several heated arguments later and the captain demotes me. Luckily I figured that a clown HOP wasn't going to last long so I already premade an all access card and hide it in my clown suit. I got revenge by distributing weapons from the armory to the good people of the station thus sparking a riot.

yo manda, I have just started binging through your channel. it is great. truly entertaining while also providing insights on some real gems.

SS13 is one of the few games where dozens of stories tangle into one another in the span of about an hour, I played a bartender set out to make the ultimate cocktail: Bacchus Blessing. This consisted of me bothering chemical, bothering my fellow bartender, and bothering people to drink it once it had been made. A Technopriest proceeded to destroy my cocktail because it was evil, and then destroying my bar in the process. And as i was on the escape shuttle due to unrelated circumstances, it occurred to me that nobody was any the wiser to what had transpired. I wasnt even a bartender to them, just someone else on the shuttle, as they were running away from whatever hell happened to them on their shift. And that is the beauty of SS13.

plumphelmetpunk does some good lets plays of SS13

HOLY SHIT. I'm literally in that Hippie Station Harambe bit. I used to play this game non-stop, and Hippie Station was my favourite server for the 'light RP' (aka nobody roleplays and everyone powergames).

The game background is fascinating. It's very much a "BYOND" thing if you've ever played around with that tool for any other game besides SS13. Although, BYOND is now jokingly referred to as the "SS13 Launcher".

i watch this every few months since it always gets me back into playing, ily mandalore and your sensual reviews.

I just watched all your reviews. You're hilarious dude. Keep it up!

I think SS13 can be best summed up as "the closest mankind will get to a playable season of Sealab 2021"

really interesting to see how mandalore's videos have changed and improved over the years, but there's still plenty of similarities too

Not only was this super informative and fun to watch, but actually funny. Subscribed