Spontaneous Vs Responsive Desire

Рет қаралды 4,660,040

Jimmy on Relationships

Ай бұрын

Пікірлер: 3 500

@Trolly.Troll. Ай бұрын

How can you not feel safe with the crab mating dance!! 😂

@nnouria-du6jq Ай бұрын

At least you could laugh a lot

@tarynjones6781 Ай бұрын

This was so my thought!!! I love the sexy crab walk!! I’m gonna try that and see how it works for my next bedroom adventure!

@dflaming1371 Ай бұрын

I was actually surprisingly charmed by his whole routine!

@Cajanaki Ай бұрын

I think that guy is broken

@domvasta Ай бұрын

I'd be scared that they were going to pinch me

@ashleyguthrie572 Ай бұрын

I'd like to add that responsive desire may not work if you're ONLY giving your partner that kind of attention when you want to head to the bedroom. Sometimes you gotta do kisses and touches and cuddles for the sake of it, not just to arouse. Otherwise it can start to feel sort of pressuring and loaded with expectations

@luvfunstuff2 Ай бұрын

Bingo! And that's why marriages crumble. When it's only to get a want fulfilled it feels like being used, not loved at all.

@sedatedcoho Ай бұрын

Men get aroused by kisses and cuddles, so that's a lot of frustration for us if it's not going to be dealt with. Just food for thought.

@doll-ie Ай бұрын

@@sedatedcohobro then start with a little peck before going to work hold her hand/waist. you're not an animal, you can control your desires ❤

@MissKashira Ай бұрын

@@sedatedcoho Think of it as edging. 😄

@steelbeachsiren Ай бұрын

Real^

@janabonfield4947 Ай бұрын

I've learned to tell my husband "I could be persuaded" when I'm in this conversation.

@serenitycox217 Ай бұрын

Aww that's adorable!!!

@nikanejemison8790 Ай бұрын

Very nice lol

@freemovies411 Ай бұрын

Yes, I use that too! It's a good response. XD

@zillva Ай бұрын

Oh wow, I can see that being even more of a turn on, ngl

@npursuit Ай бұрын

✍️🏽

@z.a.1237 Ай бұрын

Wow. This guy really understands women. Safety Is everything.

@bettywith2girls Ай бұрын

Yeah...how in the world is this guy with the wig so accurate in how us women feel? Along with the "affection and touching," some alcohol might help also. LOL!

@SapphicSammy7 Ай бұрын

And it's helping people understand themselves more

@blueberriesrfine5538 Ай бұрын

Cannot stress this enough. You get angry over every little thing? There will be no desire from a woman. You yell and act aggressive and mean? Yeah, not a great way to get intimacy from a woman. You are NOT safe; it closes a woman literally and figuratively. HEAR ME.

@aprilbarter Ай бұрын

Men turn on like a lightbulb. Women warm up like an oven. ❤

@aprilbarter Ай бұрын

Yup, safety IS everything.

@thedarkside7508 Ай бұрын

As a woman who feels this way, I want to add: don't misunderstand this advice. It doesn't mean you should only start to touch, kiss and show affection when you're in the mood to get your woman in the mood. That's rather a turn-off. The affection and love should just never stop.

@Oysters176 Ай бұрын

I am a guy, and I am responsive. I don't need to like the girl as much as she likes me, I just need well..

@frankiefranfraser Ай бұрын

Yesss! Kiss touch hug as much as possible all through out the day. When he leaves for work, When he comes back from work. While making dinner. All the time!❤

@Karlien68 Ай бұрын

MAJOR turnoff....feeling used. I am not a plastic doll 😂

@Karlien68 Ай бұрын

@@frankiefranfraserEspecially SHE

@jeanbean1390 Ай бұрын

Don't treat her like crap all day/week and then expect her to be in the mood when it's time to go to bed.

@wabibunny Ай бұрын

the sexy crab walk made me cackle XD thank you for the info!

@_pearl_ Ай бұрын

It made me laugh out loud too 😂😂

@abbykoop5363 Ай бұрын

OMG! Me too! 🤣

@amiecollins74 Ай бұрын

I watched it multiple times just for that 🦀🦀🦀😂😂😂

@malissahays1352 Ай бұрын

Right??!!! 😅😅😅

@edithnackers7127 Ай бұрын

When all your other rizz moves don't work, why not Zoidberg? 😅

@217Artifact Ай бұрын

The almost imperceptible’ “I mean, I could use a shave…” lmao! 😂 helpful video! Thank you!

@jamboreeAG Ай бұрын

that crab walk got me feeling safe and responsive

@chantelguinn7517 Ай бұрын

This. I legitimately thought I hated any kind of sexual intimacy until I found a man who cherishes me and makes me feel safe and cared for consistently. Now we’re married and I cannot keep my hands off him.

@lyannawinter405 Ай бұрын

:D that's beautiful! :)

@SmooshedPotato123 Ай бұрын

Love this. So happy for you and your relationship, that’s really awesome ❤️

@aceylamoon Ай бұрын

Haha

@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 Ай бұрын

Love this

@lookupyourredemptiondrawsn7285 Ай бұрын

How did u find him?

@nayemalaboni8318 Ай бұрын

This guy has been providing thousands of dollars worth of marriage counseling for free on KZfaq , kudos to him for this.

@skinnypete3104 Ай бұрын

He is a creator. He is being paid by ads for each sub he gets and even views. He isn’t doing this for free. Content creators are paid well

@heehoopeanut420 Ай бұрын

For real, he's a blessing

@GabrielleHayes1921 Ай бұрын

If I understand correctly, he learned all of this because his marriage began to fall apart and I think he said he almost or did cheat, but realized how much he loved and was hurting his wife and wanted to save them and now is also trying to save others too.

@nayemalaboni8318 Ай бұрын

@@GabrielleHayes1921 that’s very sweet

@mandypdx Ай бұрын

Love sarcasm ❤

@kagancowa1743 Ай бұрын

I hated myself for years because my ex was always dissapointed with me not being in the mood, but I recently realized how unsafe I felt around him. He never respected my 'no', tried doing things I wasn't comfortable with, guilt tripped me into doing it every night, and made me feel small whenever I tried to speak up about it when I tried to cooperate and create something both of us would be happy with, respecting eachother. Too bad he now won't be getting any

@st-nw7tm 28 күн бұрын

I am so happy for you and proud of you! It takes a lot of courage to recognize that you deserve better; and to have the strength to know it's not something you want as a part of your life ❤

@kagancowa1743 27 күн бұрын

@@st-nw7tm You really made me tear up just now, thank you so much ❤

@kirstent7332 23 күн бұрын

Same here.. exactly the same

@Rod732 22 күн бұрын

Same with my ex - plus he was cheating on me, disgusting people

@ilmiosmani3689 19 күн бұрын

@@Rod732 maybe you sholud have listen to him and give him your vigina and stop being a kid with a rollercostet mood. Sorry but thats the problem , many women dont care about their mens need , i have headace , im sleepy, not today bla bla bla, its normal when sometime your rrally tired and sometime your sick but not sleeping with him with weeks or months and at the end the leave or cheat and i agree cheating is horrible but you have to feed the dog othervise dog leavs.

@JessyLKaiser Ай бұрын

As a woman who almost exclusively has spontaneous desire I love that you added the note at the end that it's not about your sex!

@greenheron1567 Ай бұрын

“The most important thing he does is make me feel safe” YES that’s RIGHT, hot damn.

@manderly109 Ай бұрын

Yes this is 100% correct!

@MYSTERYBLACKROSE Ай бұрын

The most important thing he does is take care of himself. The second most important thing is then her. Make no mistake. Everyone needs to take care of themselves even if it's just a small thing before they can take care of others. This goes beyond a sexual relationship. It's never someone else's job to make you feel happy or safe. That's your job.

@k.v.7681 Ай бұрын

@@MYSTERYBLACKROSE Exactly. A partner should add to a healthy foundation, not be the foundation. It's like building a house. You don't want them doing one another's job, but you don't want them to be so separate that they end up drilling in the other's previous work. Autonomy is just as important as reliability and good communication. I see a lot of comments twisting the overall message of the video as if "safety and constant affection" was supposed to mean having a subservient partner at your beck and call all the time. That's in reality how you run into co-dependency issues and unhealthy relationships that end up being toxic if not outright abusive.

@MYSTERYBLACKROSE Ай бұрын

@k.v.7681 Unfortunately, it's common in the feminist movement to say I don't need a man I am strong and independent but then expect him to do all the traditional gender duties while she herself doesn't fulfill hers. It's one of those either that both fill the traditional gender duties or neither do. I hate when women say they don't need a man around and be is just a choice but then expect him so be there emotionally for her when he can't or for him to pay for her.

@Bettersucksaul Ай бұрын

@@MYSTERYBLACKROSE It's common in conservative groups to talk about how they want traditional women but then also get upset when the traditional wife expects the man to fully care for her financially, sexually, and emotionally, as well as staying monogamous and married with her even if she loses all sexual desire for a couple decades. And the same men complain about alimony and child payment afterwards.

@Ya_boi_khoi Ай бұрын

“Oh he’s doing a sexy crab walk” **🦀🦀🦀🦀** I’m dead 💀💀 that was so funny

@kitsune4058 Ай бұрын

I have never heard me and my bf explained so well before... I have very spontaneous desire, I could look at him for a little too long and be in the mood but he is very much responsive, I have to kiss him, grab him, cuddle him and generally be touchy feely with him before he'll be in the mood. I didn't know there were genuine terms for this so this has been very helpful!

@NakeyNayNay Ай бұрын

"I mean I could use a shave" 😂😂 that was a fantastic line💜💜💜

@dawnlaubach4970 Ай бұрын

Thank you for getting everyone on the same page imagine how many relationships you just saved

@vickibazter3446 Ай бұрын

He is something else!

@0kittykruger0 Ай бұрын

Ikr?

@cassu6 Ай бұрын

But how would this knowledge save a relationship? You knowing he/she is responsive doesn’t really help when you want to feel desired and sought after.

@TheApplianceDirect Ай бұрын

@@cassu6then that’s just one scenario where this advice MIGHT not help. But there are countless others who can have more grace and patience for one another as long as there is some understanding. But for someone who wants to feel sought after, who’s to say you can’t feel that with a responsive partner? Sure maybe you need to lead them into it but what if after they are completely ravenous for you? Responsive doesn’t mean low libido and it doesn’t say anything about how that person actually behaves when in bed.

@Veganbytheway Ай бұрын

I appreciate you representing women with facial hair

@mishynaofficial Ай бұрын

Conchita Wurst entered the chat

@einchaotenwuschel Ай бұрын

@@mishynaofficialwe stan conchita wurst.

@guitarsz Ай бұрын

😂

@MarisaPaola-um5yb Ай бұрын

everyone is beautiful 😁

@hollywu7768 Ай бұрын

Hormone imbalance... Sight...

@mjarmes Ай бұрын

I HATE how all media whether it's TV, movies, songs, or anything really, depicts people as ravenous for sex and women just wanting to do it all the time when that's not how I feel at all. I don't have a great need and desire for it even though I love my boyfriend and we do have intimacy. It feels bad to be different, you feel like there's something wrong with you for not wanting what everyone else seems so thirty for.

@snowchips9596 Ай бұрын

Yeah fr

@princessalia6 Ай бұрын

YESSS im asexual and I have NEVER felt sexually attracted to ANYONE- so even though I have no pressure from my husband I just feel super bad bc I legit feel no need for it n he does have a need for it. I am romantically or intellectually (?) Attracted? If I like someone I like them as a person. I want to be a part of their life, make them happy, get to know them spend time together- those types of things But I forsure feel soooo bad for not feeling the same way back sexually ;^;

@TheStepmonkey Ай бұрын

@@princessalia6 You're not asexual cause u feel attracted to people. An real asexual is someone who doesn't even fall in love.

@TheStepmonkey Ай бұрын

Most women actually feel like that. We're not as physical as men.

@Leworm4371 29 күн бұрын

@@TheStepmonkey that's aromantic not asexual

@kyrareneeLOA Ай бұрын

And I love that you said, for responsive, it is important to feel safe. You wont feel aroused unless safety and trust are there.

@watamatafoyu 8 күн бұрын

Safe from what?

@kellywood3900 Ай бұрын

"OPE he's doing his sexy crab walk." - peak Midwestern wife vibes lol 😆 i love this so much. Honestly, as a sex trauma survivor, I really appreciate a little non-mocking humor to lighten this kind of discussion. Sooo many thanks from me.

@HaeleyBell Ай бұрын

This, 1,000%! It needs the humor, but most add the “wrong” humor that makes it mocking instead of something to feel safe and giggle at. Thank you from ALL of us who are survivors of ANY sort.

@friendfromshadows Ай бұрын

I'm ace but the sexy crab walk would have me pounce a person like a hungry fisherman 😂

@JimmyonRelationships Ай бұрын

Yes!!!

@roselariviere2941 Ай бұрын

Well hello fellow ace I certainly wondered if there was another one here id probably just laugh at a crab walk like that if it were me but hey just like in the video people experience stuff differently like me and my partner do kisses and cuddles are how we roll and it's definitely important to understand one another like this video here hope my comment is at least somewhat interesting

@AmandaTroutman Ай бұрын

Demi here. I cosign the crab Walk 😂

@roolime Ай бұрын

Also ace and it would take to long to explain but one of the only people I ever developed attraction to had his own equivalent to the sext crab walk, and it made things so much less tense and relatable. For someone who had literally never wanted to get busy with anyone before, I needed that so much.

@katphish30 Ай бұрын

No mortal can resist the sexy crab walk!

@sunflower9611 Ай бұрын

Out of the many videos I’ve seen from you. You mentioning the need of safety and trust to feel arousal really hit home and helped me understand myself. Thank you.

@x.mntrob Ай бұрын

THANK YOU for doing this! Caught me just at the right time. I had recently started seeing my ex again (big mistake in the first place), and at the beginning things were great, than got worst and worst, to the point that we would have sx but he would not kiss me or hug me or anything, even when I was trying to take his arm and putting around me before falling asleep, he would take it off immediately... and kept and kept happening, this made me feel so refused, unwanted and used for his pleasure only, my self esteem really went down. All the times I confronted him about this, he replied that I was just acting childish and making a scene because he didn't give me a hug, and he was belittling the situation so much, and making me think I was just being dramatic and exaggerating because inexperienced. But it was a small gesture that really hurt me... After that he started that "I should see a specialist because it's not healthy to feel this way just because someone is not hugging you before sleeping" and I felt even worse, so for my own sake I stopped seeing him and he started accusing me of being an attention seeker and that I probably went to other guys to feel wanted. I really don't have much of experience to be honest, and I kept thinking about what he is saying, but this video made my feelings being heard, understood and validated. So thank you because I am now realising that I am normal, not childish, not dramatic, and that mine was a reasonable reaction 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

@aurea. Ай бұрын

You're absolutely 100% normal, both for wanting affection and for feeling upset by your ex's actions. You deserve to feel loved and cherished!

@Rickettsia505 Ай бұрын

Glad you escaped. You deserve better.

@g.strobl4458 29 күн бұрын

He called you things that apply to his own reaction.

@daddytabasco2217 28 күн бұрын

If he can't provide emotional intimacy and fill your tank when you ask him, then its not a good fit. Glad you got out

@Rickettsia505 28 күн бұрын

He will be back, asking for more, trying to charm you. The pattern will not change. Now you simply say to him that you are not a good fit. Don't fall again.

@joyatteberry5694 Ай бұрын

I shared this with my husband and he actually did the crab walk for me😂😂😂😂😂

@wildflower7321 Ай бұрын

😂❤

@maryamjoha Ай бұрын

You've found a keeper! 🤣

@rebeccagridley3328 Ай бұрын

I love the humorous approach to something that can be super sensitive. Neither are wrong, we're just different and that's okay. I love that you help to educate to help elevate relationships! Thank you! ❤

@remnant1018 Ай бұрын

Wish this channel existed and this video was posted _before_ I got divorced. Definitely would’ve shared this with my husband at the time. His idea of triggering responsive desire was a casual “so can I hit that?” while I’d be weed whacking and he’d be pausing mowing the lawn.

@tangoangel2782 Ай бұрын

Not feeling safe explains so much.

@watamatafoyu 8 күн бұрын

What danger are you feeling from your significant other when he's aroused?

@jessjean2842 Ай бұрын

I sent this to my husband cause for the past 14 years I have been trying to put this into words and you have explained it soo much better , thanks

@No-ky3kb Ай бұрын

I feel bad for your husband considering he married you and you apparently never made this known to him. If I was him I'd be miserable/if I knew I would have dated someone more compatible

@tazylab6233 Ай бұрын

Most important, how did he take it? Did he understand it? It's better someone that is trying to improve, than someone that doesn't care , better late than never

@annika9348 Ай бұрын

@@No-ky3kbyou're weird lol

@ryderthesinful Ай бұрын

@@No-ky3kb"I have been trying to put this into words" means OP has tried to explain it but it either didn't come across right or the husband misunderstood. That doesn't mean OP has never mentioned it. Plus, there are MANY more aspects and arguably more important ones in marriage and dating than just the sexual part.

@sicklydog6841 Ай бұрын

@@No-ky3kbhaving sex is the only compatibility u need? U need to work with ur partner if u want them to work eith u

@summertime69 Ай бұрын

I've been called an ice queen far too many times and never understood that I had responsive desire. So that's good to know now!

@CassandraV-kl4hq Ай бұрын

Calling someone that, or even your partner is in a way of shaming you and guilting you. That’s not fair to you. Your partner should learn your love language. 😊

@asteraster8667 Ай бұрын

At this point I would also (just in case) investigate if u are really into physical intimacy, and is it the right gender for you to do these things with - or you do it with ppl out of expectations/obligation, not the feeling. Personally I thought I was a snow queen, then I figured I had only responsive desire. Turnes out, I was only responsive with person, who I felt like pushed me with expectations. And with safe person and good communication I had spontaneous desire for the first time in my life 😅 Welcome back to the non-ice-queen womanhood 😅❤

@KateLate____ Ай бұрын

I know some people who end up caring themselves demi sexual or assexual because of this. It worries me how much are labelling themselves for not just being horny 24/7.

@xtonibx5770 Ай бұрын

@@KateLate____ some people are genuinely asexual and don't feel any sexual desire ever. But yeah, I don't understand demisexuality. It really feels like it's a normal thing to only feel sexual desire for someone you know and really like. I don't know why that's considered lgbtq but to each their own

@JessforR Ай бұрын

Its also not okay that someone calls you an ice queen if you aren't immediately ready to go when someone else is.

@ashleyclark7169 29 күн бұрын

Your videos have helped my relationship. I used to try to talk about things with him but always ended up blaming him and he always got defensive. Since I've started watching you, I've learned how to better address the issues and he isn't as defensive anymore and we can actually talk things out and work on them

@HippocritterXD Ай бұрын

This took me a very long time to learn and even understand, and it was very difficult for me, because she was almost never spontaneous with me in that way. And it gave me the feeling she wasn't interested in me anymore. It made me feel unloved and made me depressed. Only after she told me how it worked for her, it still took me a long time to accept it. But I got there and now I'm in a much better place when it comes to our relationship.

@sinteldragon4252 Ай бұрын

Funny enough my husband is responsive while I’m more Impulsive. I appreciate your explanation it actually helped me understand more. 🤭

@madnessofmymind Ай бұрын

Thank you. I really wish that alternative would have been presented, not the singular one of “men can be responsive too”.

@notcompletelynormal Ай бұрын

I get what you’re saying, but I feel like you’re kind of arguing in bad faith. The full text didn’t just say that men can be responsive too, it added “it’s not a gender thing”, making it pretty clear that the two characters are not representing different genders, but different types of responsiveness.

@thesenate1448 Ай бұрын

@@notcompletelynormal If you're responding to the top comment then they weren't arguing at all.

@notcompletelynormal Ай бұрын

@@thesenate1448 nah - the second one. But I can’t tag people on my phone, don’t know why. The top comment seemed reasonable enough that I assumed they’d get where the criticism was directed, but if not: top commenter, that was definitely not for you, hope you and your husband are doing great! If you’re interested in learning more on the topic, the book “Come as your are” is excellent, I think it’s by Emily Nagotsky.

@thesenate1448 Ай бұрын

@@notcompletelynormal Ah ok, thought so but just checking. x

@DocSpice Ай бұрын

As a therapist I love this video! Showing it to a few of my clients!

@courtneyowens2297 Ай бұрын

It has been one of the most helpful pieces of knowledge for my husband and I! He doesn't feel as bad about being the one usually initiating, and I know that sometimes I just need to get into the physical zone first, and then the feeling comes. It's easier to have a "let's just try" attitude and know that 98% of the time I get equally on board, and if it's a time when I still am not into it, it's ok to stop.

@beingintrinsic Ай бұрын

YOU are a BLESSED SOUL doing the good work, and with such humour. Thank you for existing and sharing you!

@NOT_THE_BEETUS Ай бұрын

I have responsive desire! That’s exactly how I feel!

@Echoetic Ай бұрын

This guy has cracked the relationship code, I swear. This just makes so much sense and it’s so nice that he isn’t playing off either as “right” or “wrong”, just different. That’s a theme I’ve been learning about recently that could save so many relationships if people became more aware that they could think this way.

@UltraGalacticSuperFantastic Ай бұрын

Can you message me ex that? He'd take off his headphones after 8 hours of gaming and say "you wanna have sex?" 🙄😒

@ryderthesinful Ай бұрын

@@UltraGalacticSuperFantastic"hey babe just caught this dub in game, wanna gimme another in bed?" "Bruh you've barely noticed me for the past 8 hours, I would rather play geometry dash."

@AndreaLikesMusic Ай бұрын

I laughed at needing a shave but the sexy crab walk bowled me over 🤣😂😂💀❤️

@readMEinkbooks Ай бұрын

I nearly spat out my coffee laughing at the sexy crab walk!

@iwillrest4155 Ай бұрын

I know! Me too 😂

@FrancesHernandez-hf5ys Ай бұрын

Me too hilarious 🤣 😂❤

@-iza- 21 күн бұрын

The “sexy” crab walk caught me off guard 😂

@user-kc4bu2bf2t Ай бұрын

lol My girl can be a freak out of nowhere meanwhile I want to role play with some elaborate story and flirting before we even get close to that point! 😂 Bless her heart for being patient with my nerdy ass.

@christinwoodrow9297 Ай бұрын

Oh wow. Wowowow, light bulb. Thank you for articulating this. I’ve wondered if there was something wrong with me or if my libido was a problem, but it’s a different desire style. My husband is very understanding and supportive and takes things my speed, so I always just blamed myself. Thank you so much. (And the laughs and jokes are great. 😁)

@anthill1510 Ай бұрын

There is a book called "Come as you are" which talks a lot about these two different desires and it is a game changer.

@sepiajoy2871 Ай бұрын

Yes! You are completely normal. I also tend to have more responsive desire. I’m not feeling horny until after we have some clothes off and we start kissing and touching. Many many people are like this and it’s all normal

@Editorialzero Ай бұрын

@@anthill1510 seconded! I love this book so much and it has way more in it than just what he said here. I think most women feel “broken” at some point because of various stereotypes about sex that come exclusively from the average man’s perspective. I’ve got spontaneous desire but related to a lot of the other things the book said. I wish more people would read it, especially men tbh.

@Bcke14304 Ай бұрын

Oh my gosh… nearly just choked on my breakfast several times, laughing so hard watching this! Jimmy, you are a beast of a man, no matter what gender you act as. God bless you for your sharing your gift of humor and creativity with those who could use a little comedy. I count you as part of my trauma healing process, Jimmy. Blessings💕☺️

@amyhevelone1344 Ай бұрын

I couldn’t agree with you more on this!! I think he’s a bit motivational speaker.

@lesawilkes5673 Ай бұрын

I don't know, I was slightly aroused by the sexy crab walk!

@ppleeatpple Ай бұрын

I was gargling mouthwash and nearly died

@everythingwelljess8029 Ай бұрын

Well said, good stuff!!!

@user-xg4ue5cc2v 21 күн бұрын

Omg...this was so funny. Better than most comedy shows. I belly laughed so hard. Best video!😅

@SatumainenOlento Ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂 These are getting funnier by day! Excellent job! 👍🏻 It is so good to bring lightness to the conversation about s*xuality. Nobody needs to feel undesirable by their partner.

@RoseMary-gl4ee Ай бұрын

You outdid yourself with this one! Not only did I need the words to this explanation, for my own use, but you had me cracking up 😂 “I mean I could use a shave” 😂

@Dragonmoon8526 Ай бұрын

When a man goes full Zoidberg, you know he means business. Woop, woop, woop, woop, woop. 😁

@JimmyonRelationships Ай бұрын

Love this reference!!!

@yugare-chan4742 Ай бұрын

The crab walk sealed the deal.

@shivanijoshi6629 Ай бұрын

Sexy crab walk?! 😂 That's my takeaway.

@nardareyes8269 Ай бұрын

It's so great that you also mention that any human, no matter the gender, can be any of these types

@moondancer3606 Ай бұрын

Wow. This explains so much. I think I'm the spontaneous type, but my husband is definitely responsive. Also, the comments saying not to only show that affection for that one reason 👌 this has been genuinely helpful

@CriS-jq6em Ай бұрын

I think that its harder for us women being like this. I mean, Everybody told me that men have more libido: super fake! Especially for me😢 so I thought for months that he did not find me attractive, when its only his shy/insecure personality that affected his libido becoming more responding than me(more spontaneous) If only I knew it sooner

@ryderthesinful Ай бұрын

OP and commenter: find his love language too! Cuddles are great and usually help right before, but if someone loves receiving little gifts or quality time, do those whenever as well. Helps with emotional bond and makes a responsive person more likely to be comfortable when the time comes. Also, just because you've gotten into the long term, don't stop the dates. This is just general advice, but go out and have a nice date night for the fun of it when you can. My parents have been married for just over 20 years and still occasionally go out on dates when they have the money to, like they recently went to see a movie together. Very true that the stereotype is "men have higher libidos", I've heard that my whole life. Know what else I've heard? Guys amazed their girlfriend has such a high drive and them being tired of it, especially during certain parts of the girl's menstrual cycle. Lots of misconceptions and miscommunication out here, but every person that learns and spreads the knowledge helps a future relationship.

@senasezer422 Ай бұрын

@@CriS-jq6em Are you me? Lol

@faithcarponelli 7 күн бұрын

I love how Jimmy is always spot-on and profound while being super funny. It's a hard thing to pull off like this!

@Simmerany Ай бұрын

Hahahaha that’s the most funny psychology class I have ever seen 😅 now that’s how you learn 😂😂

@christinewoodland5127 Ай бұрын

That word “safe” …. there are many different levels and meanings to that.

@lakshmis696 28 күн бұрын

True!

@fefe1179 Ай бұрын

It doesn’t have to be touching!! Taking care of a woman, showing her you are interested, that you respect her; treating her heart gently and being a good listener/communicator and also making her feel safe enough to just be as feminine as she pleases, show her your a man and OUUUUUUWWWEEEE 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍.

@lisetteem588 Ай бұрын

as long as there is no agenda. some narcs listen to women as a too (to get into sex with her).

@judymiller5154 Ай бұрын

learn your partner's "love language". Mine is quality time first...eye contact, responsive communication, he shows interest in my feelings/needs/dreams, we can talk about options (about anything - dinner, money, vacation, a movie etc) and make decisions in harmony.❤ Second for me is gifts of service - I pretty much melt if he says, "Hey babe, I've got an hour. What can I do for you?"

@namidesu Ай бұрын

@@judymiller5154 I wish my ex had been this thoughtful... He always used to accuse me for loving him less for not liking being touched randomly, granted he guilt trip me into giving it 😒 I always tried to be careful not to shame his love language but after breaking up with him it made me realize he never even repected MY love language in return/just my pace of arousal and desire. Thank god at least it ended.

@Su-ri5ob Ай бұрын

Doing the dishes, properly and unasked, or any other household chores done by a man is foreplay but most don't understand that.

@FirstnameLastname-gr5kb Ай бұрын

@@Su-ri5ob to be fair, if both people work the same amount, household chores should also be done 50:50 without the woman having to ask the partner to do that bc it should be common decency

@fireflythinking1290 Ай бұрын

"I could use a shave" 😂 you're acting is so good I totally see two characters

@GreeneChakra Ай бұрын

Thanks a lot! I learned a lot! Omg the Needing to Shave and the “Sexy Crab Walk?” 😂😂😂

@Lazy_Fish_Keeper Ай бұрын

"neither is better than the other" is SO IMPORTANT!!!!

@madM1469 Ай бұрын

Right? Not like it takes alot of work if you know the triggers. My husband says want a back massage? 30 seconds later I'm ON my back 😂

@Keyrose-my3xr Ай бұрын

@@madM1469that's the exact reason I can't even accept a massage anymore. Always an agenda.

@ryderthesinful Ай бұрын

@@Keyrose-my3xrthat's unfortunate that you've come to associate massages as a warm up to sexual intimacy. If you get into a relationship with a person like that or your body automatically responds in that way to a massage, try being the one to offer a massage first before accepting and/or just cuddling after. Kisses and cuddles don't have to lead to anything more, either.

@kaihiroku8495 Ай бұрын

@@Keyrose-my3xr The point is that the husband offers the massage with no other reasons than wanting to give a massage. If your bf only gives you massages when he wants sex, then yes it's a turn off because it's putting pressure on you, and you should talk about it.

@Portia620 Ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂 sexy crab walk had me and the I need to shave! 🪒 😂😂

@maryamjoha Ай бұрын

Straight up ADORE the sexy crab walk 🤣

@supernova11711 Ай бұрын

Oh my goodness, the sexy crab walk was amazing 😂

@princesss4rah Ай бұрын

This guy changed my marriage to it feeling like we were in constant competition and tag teaming blame to us being best friends again after 16 years.

@TheStepmonkey Ай бұрын

Aww that's so nice❤

@pamsyny27 Ай бұрын

Nothing gets me in the mood more than having the night time chores wrapped up . For example if I runs to get a bath and my daughter's lunch is made for school and the few night dishes that are out in the dish washer . It's not alot of chores but the few little things done makes me feel like I can give that time and effort into something sexier .

@michaelsorensen7567 Ай бұрын

Why are dishes more important to you than your husband?

@Rickettsia505 Ай бұрын

@@michaelsorensen7567 why didn't her husband help with these things that are important to her beforehand? It's hard for many women to relax and enjoy when you have even small things weighing on your mind. Watch more of these.

@michaelsorensen7567 Ай бұрын

@@Rickettsia505 tons of possibilities why he didn't do them earlier. Like, for example, having just got home from working way late and needing a minute to recuperate. Or spending time playing with the kids instead of doing chores, since he's only with them a couple hours a day including meal time. Or maybe he works one of the plethora of jobs that don't really stop when you walk out the door so he was attending to work emails or phone calls. So why are dishes more important than husband?

@Rickettsia505 Ай бұрын

@@michaelsorensen7567 His assumed tons of more responsibilities are no more or less important than hers. Saying that he has more to do and has already done his tasks implies that her responsibilities are less important. Their needs as a couple are important, but assuming she should just drop a responsibility to "attend to his needs" is prioritizing HIM, but not THEM. If she needs those things completed before sex, he can either wait and understand or get his butt out of bed and help her. If he helps, those tasks are done faster. Maybe a more fair division of labor is needed, or changing up when tasks are done and by whom. After all, what man wouldn't want a happy woman already waiting for him when he is done with his day? Sounds to me like that should be the discussion. What does it take to get to that point? I suspect that the more balance there is, the better the relationship. BTW, most women workfull time, just as much as men, and they need breaks after work too. Or they might want to spend time with the children as well.

@FirstnameLastname-gr5kb Ай бұрын

@@michaelsorensen7567Who the fuck says the woman here doesn't have as much on her plate as the husband as well? Then it would simply be inconsiderate of him not to do his share, if that's the agreement. Weird how you're trying to turn this against the woman. Especially considering that statistically, in hetero partnerships with both partners working full time, women still do a lot more household work after work. (I know the statistics for Swiss, Germany and USA). Look it up.

@daphneglasurus7886 Ай бұрын

This is always told from the perspective of someone with responsive desire. If it was told by someone with spontaneous desire, they will tell you how soul crushing it is that you most always be the one to initiate. They will never want you unless you follow a list of things to do. They don’t view you in a sexual way if you make them.

@EggieMeggieX 12 күн бұрын

I have spontaneous and my husband has responsive. Im definately going to do the crab walk next time to get him in the mood.❤

@jmdenison Ай бұрын

kind loving and romantic words all day helps a whole lot.

@Suedepants100 Ай бұрын

This is why foreplay for women is super important!

@beccaboo6355 Ай бұрын

So true. I thought I didn’t care for sex much in my 7year relationship but I realized he just didn’t understand foreplay so I was never really in the mood to just have sex. But once I got into a different relationship i realized how important foreplay is and how much it helps get me in the mood. It can definitely save some relationships just knowing that people work differently and that this could help.

@JustSilviaD Ай бұрын

Not for all women.

@ktxtenskz7441 Ай бұрын

@@JustSilviaDagreed. I personally don’t like it🤷🏻‍♀️

@anitadiaz733 Ай бұрын

This is not about gender.

@valiasa-di6hr 23 күн бұрын

"He's doing his sexy crab walk" - I caaaaan't🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that just killed me😂😆😁🤣

@killiansirishbeer Ай бұрын

This actually makes so much sense 😳🤯 wow 👍 thank you for this video 👏

@victoriakathleen01 Ай бұрын

Thank you for helping me realize that I stopped feeling desire for my ex because he always made me feel pressured to go straight to the bedroom without considering my feelings or arousal 😭💚 I truly spent years thinking I was "broken," not realizing that my partner at the time just didn't care about meeting my needs.

@sarahwaters8262 Ай бұрын

Your disclaimer about men having responsive desire being okay was great, it could also include that women can have spontaneous desire, and that's okay, too. Thanks 💗

@beccaboo6355 Ай бұрын

If you watch until the end it says “it has nothing to do with gender & either can feel this way.”

@cassu6 Ай бұрын

Yep definitely, but as someone with spontaneous desire, I’d 100% prefer someone with spontaneous desire as well. You’d actually feel desired that way, not always having to be the one to initiate and do the moves. Yes nothing wrong with responsive desire as it’s normal, but it’s definitely the lesser of the two imo

@brose-bg3ks Ай бұрын

I’m extremely spontaneous and my husband is less-so, not that he doesn’t want to, but I love to initiate so much he just sits back and enjoys the ride (pun maybe intended). Since I’ve been pregnant, and have less desire, I saw how it’s actually refreshing being chased by him. Maybe in the future I can slow my roll a little so we can take a lot more turns chasing each other.

@k.v.7681 Ай бұрын

The thing is for a while now we've sort of pushed forward the idea that women can be more or less entitled to their sexual freedom and how they experience it (which is great, and one has to note we're not all the way there yet as a society. But strides have been made). The discussion actually happens, be it with results or not. When it comes to men's sexuality, we're in a sort of odd intermediate. People expect men to chase sexual interactions (be spontaneous), or any sort of "leadership-exerting" behavior, and if they don't, ridicule them by attacking their identity as men. And at the same time, that more or less domineering-associated behavior is shamed as sexist and toxic (sometimes deservedly, but also quite often entirely in a dismissive, shallow way). There is a lot of plain statements with no discussion regarding men's sexuality. It's full of shortcuts and quick answers rather than a deep, nuanced look that would allow them to reach a good place that suits each individual. All in all, it's good that there was a sort of disclaimer for men (given the creator is himself a man), especially considering there is further clarification that it isn't a gender thing. It's more or less assumed that women do already have that knowledge.

@Bettersucksaul Ай бұрын

@@k.v.7681 Men's sexuality isn't going to get a very deep nuanced discussion right now because the main people discussing them are misogynist red-pillers who wholeheartedly believe the only way for men to behave is through a shallow toxic masculinity perspective that denounce any man who falls short of their standards. Women are the ones leading the discussions about their sexuality. Unfortunately considering a lot of men still see any kind of deep emotional introspective as "feminine", I doubt it will happen soon on the other end.

@studwhelm 14 күн бұрын

I'm here for the crab walk 🦀

@sandragalindo6597 13 күн бұрын

Wow, this is something that I had never been able to put in words, but is always been the way I feel

@2393aa Ай бұрын

As a spontaneous female married to a responsive male, I wish this combination would be talked about more. Society acts like men should want sex at all times and women shouldn’t. This is not the case and really set me up for disappointment! My advice is if sex is important to you, marry someone with a similar appetite. Otherwise, it leads to more problems in an already difficult marriage.

@marialakshmi2330 Ай бұрын

Yes 👏🏽

@senasezer422 Ай бұрын

Oh the expectations built by stereotypes and the following disappointment of finding out the stereotype isn't always true. Especially when it was a stereotype you were looking forward to experience lol. It's a journey for SURE.

@123raven4 Ай бұрын

You just described my husband and myself! He would have to make a day of loving me and tenderness to get me there! We are just 2 different people! I laughed all the way through! 😂

@cassu6 Ай бұрын

o7 for our fallen brother. Wish him good luck

@joenewman3479 12 күн бұрын

This is on a role. I agree completely. I also have responsive desire. This is something I think all men should learn. That you can get a girl exited by pushing your boundaries with her even if she acts like she’s not in the mood. She isn’t lying, however if you do something that makes her in the mood by pushing that boundary, you go cowboy!!!

@mir465 Ай бұрын

😂 this guy is so funny. The crab killed me 😂

@Chawanya_Singer Ай бұрын

I freaking love these funny skits jam packed with wisdom Brilliantly written and made

@marcykeithley1085 Ай бұрын

I agree! Love these short skits.

@iwillrest4155 Ай бұрын

I know!!

@crazylittleangel Ай бұрын

Shut the front door!!! My fiancé & I have always had mismatched libidos. It's led to both of us feeling guilty at various times, as i can't match his libido and he sometimes feels like he "pressures" me. (He doesn't, he always backs off when i say no & never complains). He's not a very physically affectionate guy in general (he doesn't mind it, it's just not his personality to be cuddly & stuff), and your video has literally made me realise that that could be a leading cause why i do not have as high a sex drive as he does. I'll have to share this with him!!

@tinainman8776 16 күн бұрын

Lol "oh he's doing his "sexy crab walk" 😂😂😂😂😂 I just lost it after that 😂😂😂

@jodywhitmarsh535 Ай бұрын

His sexy crab walk got me going! 😂😂😂

@TXWintor Ай бұрын

Nah girl, don't worry about shaving, if he can't handle you at your worst he doesn't deserve you at your best. 😂😂

@monjiaitaly Ай бұрын

Amen to the truth of this. Men please pay attention and women too.

@hanleysabato7786 Ай бұрын

“Oh he’s doing the sexy crab walk…” I lost it!

@LateRaven Ай бұрын

I love the humor intertwined into this😂😂

@Candy_ce Ай бұрын

"How u doin' ?" OMG 🤣😭🤣

@csjkscs Ай бұрын

In my experience both partners can fill these roles. We have a deal, you want to 😉?, you have to put the effort in so the other person can “catch up”. There is an understanding that if it’s a hard no, don’t waste time trying. This was a great video!

@fatemehshahmohammad8191 17 сағат бұрын

You keep getting better at what you're doing, thanks so much

@akisadiamond Ай бұрын

I'm ace, but that crab walk though... dang

@zahras1492 Ай бұрын

So true. If your partner doesn't feel safe with you at all times and you reached a point they don't trust anymore, your relationship is dead. No kisses, no gift and no whatever comes to your mind can fix it. Find peace, make changes to set permanently a solid ground to protect your partner and make them feel, know and observe you are here for them, for whatsoever, within your defined, worded boundaries.

@Musicismylove888 Ай бұрын

Oh my gosh. I absolutely love the humor in your videos. Absolutely hilarious 😂 😂😂😂. A great message.

@milliemaina3820 2 күн бұрын

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!!!!😂😂😂😂I had to pause at the roar😅

@Kayla-tz2gw 2 күн бұрын

The crab walk did it for me😂😂😂😂😂I'm ready

@MsHildegaard Ай бұрын

I love that you clarify that men can have responsive desire. May I also add that some women experience spontaneous desire.

@linda.christie Ай бұрын

This is completely hysterical while teaching! ❤🎉

@annipsy2185 28 күн бұрын

He tells me things i didnt even know about myself/ let alone men.... truly one of a kind

@PianoExpectations Ай бұрын

This is my favorite one. It’s spreading like wildfire amongst my family and friends.

@Alixir1228 Ай бұрын

I'm a woman and I will feel it spontaneously as well, sometimes even more than my partner but usually equally. We both have very high drives. But he creates an environment where I feel safe spontaneously expressing that desire rather than feeling used.

@stellacitera5877 Ай бұрын

I'm a woman and it happens to me too to feel it spontenously: the real issue in my opinion is not the spontaneity of desire, but the way arousal is expressed: there are things you can't get by asking for them in a direct way, as they have to stem out from poetry. If I want a kiss, I can't ask for it, as this would spoil the magic that is the essential premise to experience a real kiss. It goes the same when a man hints at his desire, like in this video, in such an explicit and prosaic manner...

@sleepingwhale Ай бұрын

@@stellacitera5877I'm the same I need natural spontaneity.. not fabricated foreplay.