Stand-Up Jokes To Fix Your Awful Thanksgiving
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3 жыл бұрынWe didn't make you mashed potatoes, but we did whip up this three course of Thanksgiving jokes to help you get through today. Bert Kreischer: Secret Time, Ronny Chieng: Asian Comedian Destroys America, and John Mulaney: Kid Gorgeous are now streaming on Netflix.
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@rachelfox8108 3 жыл бұрын
The funniest part about the John Mulaney story on The Last Supper is that his wife is Jewish and Jesus and his disciples were celebrating Passover.
@AceCmbatguy25 3 жыл бұрын
I didn’t get the first joke 😅
@ThatDataLady 3 жыл бұрын
Do you think they teach us that?!? 😂😂😂😂
@rachelfox8108 3 жыл бұрын
@Maevna Yeah, that's on me for making the assumption based on the assumed impact of Christian cultural hegemony (I.e. assuming just because Christian culture is such a major force that Christian-specific knowledge is imparted/forced on everyone with no respect to their own traditions). I was pointing out the interesting "coincidence" and forgetting, oh yeah, I live in a culturally Christian country and grew up Methodist (though I haven't considered myself Christian for a long time), and as such am working from a very biased position. Apologies if you found my comment insensitive (the tone in your reply isn't clear to me).
@Arday60 3 жыл бұрын
Even if you don't know what Jesus and company are celebrating, you should at least know that Turkeys are native to America and no one in the middle east would have even known about one 2000 years ago. That and that thanks giving wasn't a thing back then.
@kayleigh0711 3 жыл бұрын
Same thing i was thinking
@josephbeaulieu1569 3 жыл бұрын
John Mulaney is simultaneously the gayest and straightest man.
@paige3928 3 жыл бұрын
Is the Neil Patrick Harris of straight people
@RobertoT33 3 жыл бұрын
@@paige3928 this is gold
@YouthSalad 3 жыл бұрын
Excuse me, she's an asian american woman.
@AndrewLatosz 3 жыл бұрын
You should watch Tony Hinchclife
@losinmymindd_ Жыл бұрын
Ima year late but this is so funny 😂 😂😂
@fridaguerra6801 3 жыл бұрын
wow john mulaney is just wow... he has the audience in the palm of his hand... those LAUGHS just wow
@Professionalboxbeater 3 жыл бұрын
Hes got coke in his nose too
@Flosseveryday 3 жыл бұрын
He's got you in the palm of his hands.
@DonVal86 2 жыл бұрын
Yup, forwarded past the first guy.
@DaveKratter 3 жыл бұрын
Andrew Yang should've used the Ronny Chieng part of this in his campaign earlier this year.
@josephthefirst1 3 жыл бұрын
100%
@sophiarodriguez3706 3 жыл бұрын
😂😂😂 it's true!
@skarrx2416 3 жыл бұрын
Genius XD
@sanangelo7926 3 жыл бұрын
Yang would rather convince people to commit a felony in Georgia.
@Arkane117 3 жыл бұрын
Yang actually had him on his campaign event in New York and Ronnie did his stand up right before Yang came out. It’s on KZfaq somewhere if you search it
@Vohlfied 3 жыл бұрын
"I'd rather fix healthcare than eat turkey."
@aprilmason1616 3 жыл бұрын
Me too🤭 I always struggle to keep it from becoming dry. Never made a while turkey we dont celebrate thanksgiving, so I eat I sliced from the deli
@luwamalem9537 3 жыл бұрын
Loool
@melodicarpenter5820 3 жыл бұрын
I'm not registered to vote and I'm an American but if we had an Asian Candidate I would run out and register asap and help with the campaign in any way possible. Hell yeah.
@AliceFackler 3 жыл бұрын
As an Asian American on Thanksgiving siting home alone slowly applying for a PhD, that last one really got me. Honestly this is one of the best Thanksgivings I've had ngl
@StupiderWithAB 3 жыл бұрын
I feel stupider after seeing this. Almost as stupid as i feel after watching my videos.
@defectivepikachu4582 3 жыл бұрын
john mulaney makes all us asian proud
@violeta6846 3 жыл бұрын
Girl get it.
@jakecovert2528 3 жыл бұрын
His "Oh nonono, we ALL know that" 🤣🤣🤣
@iambiggus 3 жыл бұрын
If an alien walked into a grocery store, they would assume turkey is only around to imitate other lunchmeats.
@frigginjerk 3 жыл бұрын
Somebody's gotta take turkey aside and tell it, "Just be yourself, man. We like you the way you are."
@devins4081 3 жыл бұрын
Why
@iambiggus 3 жыл бұрын
@@devins4081 kzfaq.info/get/bejne/mqdodr2qsdjXon0.html Never prove that you bought a donut.
@StupiderWithAB 3 жыл бұрын
I feel stupider after seeing this. Almost as stupid as i feel after watching my videos.
@iambiggus 3 жыл бұрын
@@StupiderWithAB When you hit stupid rock bottom, let us know.
@justanothergamer850 3 жыл бұрын
John Mulaney's part killed me when his wife said "Thanksgiving"
@chefbanjo8139 3 жыл бұрын
“Vote for the Asians when you get the chance.” Look, I tried, no one else liked Andrew Yang.
@grumpycat6429 3 жыл бұрын
Duh...Murica bish
@littleboxxes 3 жыл бұрын
Yang Gang
@f.i.r.e.5119 3 жыл бұрын
Yeah, what happened to that guy? He was in the news for maybe ten minutes and then he just disappeared.
@christianrivera6756 3 жыл бұрын
@@f.i.r.e.5119 So did Mike Bloomberg. And Elizabeth Warren. And Bernie Sanders after a little while.
@f.i.r.e.5119 3 жыл бұрын
@@christianrivera6756 Yeah, I got a lot of ads about Bloomberg, and then they just stopped. I could probably have pinpointed exactly when Bloomberg was kicked from the running based on that alone had 2020 not irreparably screwed up my perceptions of linear time.
@matthewrajagukguk5406 3 жыл бұрын
Okay i see John Mulaney and Ronny Chieng.. u got my interest netflix.
@StupiderWithAB 3 жыл бұрын
I feel stupider after seeing this. Almost as stupid as i feel after watching my videos.
@placeholder_username9528 3 жыл бұрын
@@StupiderWithAB - Silence, bot
@yaboy2501 3 жыл бұрын
I'm living in Taiwan rn and lemme tell you that everything Ronny said is true. They don't shut down for anything but hell the government is efficient af. No covid here
@oliviaaloe9069 3 жыл бұрын
Only for lunar new year~
@chicoktc 3 жыл бұрын
Right, because covid cares about how well your government runs
@okmangeez 3 жыл бұрын
@@chicoktc More like how well your government responds to a crisis and efficiently takes down the problem. Though, that doesn’t apply to all Asian countries. Japan is notoriously slow at responding to crises (they’ve been dragging their population crisis for a decade now), but they still handled COVID well. China is... China. For South Korea, it depends on who’s in charge (the last president let a ferry boat sink and prevented a rescue task force from deploying for over a day, causing hundreds to die). North Korea is a nut case, etc. Overall though, Asian countries are fairly efficient. Especially if they want to get something done.
@defectivepikachu4582 3 жыл бұрын
i mean you guys dont celebrate christmass as much
@okmangeez 3 жыл бұрын
@@defectivepikachu4582 Koreans do, and we still work through Christmas. Even Korean-Americans that live in America.
@cloudwatcher608 3 жыл бұрын
Ronny Chieng has a steep V in his Vulcan salute, holy crap
@christineferreira2181 3 жыл бұрын
Ronnie Chieng is awesome. I love his angry humor 😆
@SakuraMoonflower 3 жыл бұрын
I love not only that the "turkey" mention was John Mulaney's thin red line: it was mine too, because I knew turkeys are indigenous to North America and were not historically present in the middle east during biblical times. XD
@astarkadventure4903 3 жыл бұрын
To anyone who sees this: Happy Thanksgiving
@user-ql3ws5uz1d 3 жыл бұрын
"Thanksgiving means nothing to me".
@justarandomguy6359 3 жыл бұрын
I'm an Asian and a medical worker in US and I was working on thanksgiving not only that I'll be working on Friday and even Saturday and Sunday. Nope, don't feel sorry, I'm used to that. I was raised that way.
@C101ja 3 жыл бұрын
Hundred percent!
@solegonz762 3 жыл бұрын
👏👏 I still want to say thank you... to you & your folks. Work ethic is precious- very important value
@BatdadIsBestDad 3 жыл бұрын
Mood as a latina
@cisium1184 3 жыл бұрын
I'm Irish, Italian, and French and I haven't had a Thanksgiving off in 25 years.
@ohdaUtube 3 жыл бұрын
@SJ Greer do you honestly believe most white men do this? Naw
@sarahlovee1865 3 жыл бұрын
I love John Mullaney and I guess his wife since it's her story lol
@onemysore6120 3 жыл бұрын
John Mulanley is the best kind of insufferable.
@montananerd8244 3 жыл бұрын
That is a perfect description 🤣 lol, I do feel for his perspective in this case, as The Last Supper IS a holiday meal....seder.
@sophiarodriguez3706 3 жыл бұрын
This is the perfect description of him 😂😂😂
@StupiderWithAB 3 жыл бұрын
I feel stupider after seeing this. Almost as stupid as i feel after watching my videos.
@siddharthkrishnan3317 3 жыл бұрын
@@StupiderWithAB that is a good attempt I’ll give you that
@efoe_f.o.e 2 жыл бұрын
What was John mulaneys thanksgiving joke from? Kid gorgeous or the comeback kid
@darrinnoble 3 жыл бұрын
"We'll work while you're eating!"
@isobelmcarthur6761 3 жыл бұрын
"We'll work while you're eating!"
@JacksonJonez 3 жыл бұрын
Buddy who went last really had a good point about Asians lmao
@lynetteliebenberg3857 3 жыл бұрын
Who is that?? Really like his comedic style
@andihartono92 3 жыл бұрын
ronny chieng
@StupiderWithAB 3 жыл бұрын
I feel stupider after seeing this. Almost as stupid as i feel after watching my videos.
@francisburgess6566 3 жыл бұрын
Except for the fact that the government of Asia is worse than ours
@derindaniel334 3 жыл бұрын
@@lynetteliebenberg3857 ronny chieng, he works on the daily show
@andredeketeleastutecomplex 3 жыл бұрын
Thanksgiving should be called TheMealBeforeTheGenocide 👀
@alelimagpayo5641 3 жыл бұрын
The Last suffering i guess, as they don't need to eat dry turkeys any more.
@StupiderWithAB 3 жыл бұрын
I feel stupider after seeing this. Almost as stupid as i feel after watching my videos.
@Jaxxy35 3 жыл бұрын
After the genocide. It was a celebration. They found a dead body and blamed the local tribe. They used it as an excuse to slaughter every man woman and child. And then they had a feast to celebrate. That is Thanksgiving.
@Anonymous_Guest 3 жыл бұрын
I’m a simple girl, I see John Mulaney, I click.
@AnakinSkywalker-mi5cz 3 жыл бұрын
I'm a barbie girl-
@mikehoncho5764 3 жыл бұрын
He ain't funny
@mikehoncho5764 3 жыл бұрын
Wanna know how iknow the fact you think he's funny
@tombstonejones9581 3 жыл бұрын
@@mikehoncho5764 Facts bro, didn't laugh once during his bit.
@mikehoncho5764 3 жыл бұрын
@@tombstonejones9581 dudes a hack
@dlxinfinite7098 3 жыл бұрын
The Asian brother was hilarious. Enjoy the Day!
@MrManlyBeardyMan 3 жыл бұрын
John Mulaneys wife thought pilgrims came to America over 2000 years ago
@Anonymous_Guest 3 жыл бұрын
@Jessica Stein Are you a member of the Church of Jesus Christ by Latter-Day Saints?
@scarletbitch866 3 жыл бұрын
"I belieeeeeve that ancient Jews built boats and sailed to Americaa!"
@Anonymous_Guest 3 жыл бұрын
@@scarletbitch866 I am a Mormon! And a Mormon *just* believes!
@AtomicOwl 3 жыл бұрын
Lmao, turkey do be dry after u put it in the fridge
@Ahmed-kq9lg 3 жыл бұрын
Turkey's dry regardless, one time my white friend invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner and not to sound ungrateful but man, that was a bland dinner, like medieval bland.
@TheAsianReacts 3 жыл бұрын
@@Ahmed-kq9lg your first mistake was going over a white persons house for food lmao
@maitrik_6738 3 жыл бұрын
To anyone who sees this: Happy Thanksgiving
@alannoob1926 3 жыл бұрын
@but why They'd have watermelon and fried chicken for Thanksgiving
@cisium1184 3 жыл бұрын
@@Ahmed-kq9lg "Turkey's dry regardless," No, you and Ronny just suck at it. Shutta you face and get outta Nonna's kitchen.
@jbeta4948 3 жыл бұрын
I love Ronny Chieng. I'm Puerto Rican, my husband South Korean, and Ronny is spot on. ❤️❤️❤️
@Dreamingeye1 3 жыл бұрын
When my mom came to the states she was confused when people said turkey day bc she first thought americans were celebrating turkeys and then was more confused when she heard she was supposed to eat turkey when celebrating turkeys
@daytonjason 3 жыл бұрын
no john we all said "what did you just say"? at :40.
@elemenohpeespngrCortese 3 жыл бұрын
Last dude was the best!
@kimchaz2531 3 жыл бұрын
THANKSGIVING IS NOTHING 🤣🤣
@tonyg3488 3 жыл бұрын
It's a joke right lol
@lwproductions8040 3 жыл бұрын
@@marciabrown2418 what are we celebrating? it’s a joke😭
@marciabrown2418 3 жыл бұрын
LW Productions i agree
@brianm4178 2 жыл бұрын
I shit my pants at work, mid conversation and making eye contact with my boss... also knew by facial expression but he still had to ask ... "did... did you just shit your pants?" And I just nodded quickly while stifling embarrassed laughter.... IBS is fun lol
@starrfishhill 3 жыл бұрын
Spent Thanksgiving alone ( feeling so alone)with my kitty cat my mom is 85 and lives in the next neighborhood over I didn’t want to possibly expose her to anything we did talk on the phone I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving
@robertzawasky545 3 жыл бұрын
Sending Good Vibes!
@stanleyhall2793 3 жыл бұрын
Sending good vibes as well!!
@starrfishhill 3 жыл бұрын
@@stanleyhall2793 sweet thanks 😊
@MsZephyra 3 жыл бұрын
At least you have a cat... 🐈
@swaggydnyc3029 3 жыл бұрын
Sending Good Vibes)))))⭐🐠. Happy Thanksgiving 🙂
@borgullet3376 3 жыл бұрын
Ronny KILLED
@moneyman123212 3 жыл бұрын
"Thanksgiving means nothing to me" fucking snorted lol
@douglasrolle5550 3 жыл бұрын
"F**k turkey its dry" lmao
@sarahlovee1865 3 жыл бұрын
Happy Thanksgiving! Stay Safe and Stuffed everybody! May your day be filled with good food and good people 💜
@rikimaru1914 3 жыл бұрын
4:59 as an European I couldn't agree more...
@TheLastNewYorker 3 жыл бұрын
Andrew Yang all day!
@BestVids-ti5di 3 жыл бұрын
Ronny is so right about the list of government agencies that work👍👍👍
@sela562jig 3 жыл бұрын
"Fuck Turkey it's dry!" 🤣🤣🤣 So true!!!
@sandrataylor3356 3 жыл бұрын
I LOVE this special! On second thought - if I was standing behind someone that shit his pants - I wouldn’t be so pissed about shopping after thanksgiving!😭
@anttikettunen8601 3 жыл бұрын
"fuck turkey, it's dry" That's some t-shirt material right there.
@Nomadsisyphus 3 жыл бұрын
Happy Thanksgiving. World peace ✌️
@BatBrick 3 жыл бұрын
Ooh Thanksgiving jokes! John Mulaney, fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, fast forward, Ronny Chieng! Great comedians.
@seabear2494 3 жыл бұрын
I needed this. Thanks
@elvisdorkenoo 3 жыл бұрын
THANKSGIVING. MEANS. *NOTHING* TO ME !!!
@lloydavontuur3018 3 жыл бұрын
Ronny is a beast man. He's special was awesome.
@DJmcRUSH 3 жыл бұрын
Happy Thanksgiving fellow humans residing in the United States!
@tonyg3488 3 жыл бұрын
The natives aren't happy
@mamadeebuildsahouse 3 жыл бұрын
The last two skits were the best but the last one even better than the second to last.
@timosternisko 3 жыл бұрын
Nice nod with the turkey at the end ;)
@BatdadIsBestDad 3 жыл бұрын
Thanksgiving is NOTHING to me HAHAHAJAJAJJSJAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAJAJAJ
@dugongsdoitbetter 3 жыл бұрын
Oooooh Ronny, when you talk about fixing our broken health care system........ makes me opposite of that dry ass turkey. MOIIIIIST!!!
@mars_mayday 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for fixing my awful Thanksgiving ❤️
@chinmayborkar1801 3 жыл бұрын
We will work while you are eating.... 😂😂😂😂
@MrSuperman2307 3 жыл бұрын
Great slogans! I’ll vote for him lol 😝
@echobacksound 3 жыл бұрын
I needed this today after another horrible thanksgiving god it's the worst holiday besides Christmas
@jewelmathews1444 3 жыл бұрын
Aww! Heres a hug!🤗
@garymurphy6000 3 жыл бұрын
The Asian guy got my like! Solid set man!
@filiporvik2782 3 жыл бұрын
Ronny Chieng is so funny. Pissed all the time.
@lhdhtv4249 3 жыл бұрын
Glad this actually made me laugh 😂 my 7th thanksgiving alone😓 Had McDonald’s 😂
@hughjass5894 3 жыл бұрын
McDonald’s is good
@lhdhtv4249 3 жыл бұрын
@@hughjass5894 my moms cooking was better 😓
@DocotrBayan 3 жыл бұрын
yang is that you
@lhdhtv4249 3 жыл бұрын
@@DocotrBayan 😓😓😓 y
@DocotrBayan 3 жыл бұрын
@@lhdhtv4249 I'm sorry.. hope you have a beautiful weekend
@madelainekane760 Жыл бұрын
Honestly, whenever I hear John Mulaney now, all I can think of is Andrew from “Big Mouth”😅😅😅
@RealCaptainJaws 3 жыл бұрын
Ouch, that hits me right in the Yang.
@mieshalindsley6711 3 жыл бұрын
In my next job I'm working with that last guy lol
@bx22able 3 жыл бұрын
Turkey is not dry when you know what you're doing.
@alexisgrunden1556 3 жыл бұрын
Given how many TIFU cooking fail photos there are on the internet? I'm pretty sure a lot of people don't really understand the concept of basting, much less what a roasting bag is~
@bx22able 3 жыл бұрын
@@alexisgrunden1556 step 1. Cook the turkey. Don't over Cook it. Step 2. Wait 20 minutes. Don't cut it. That's it. Dont over cook it and don't cut it right away. Most people don't understand why, so they ignore it. Then, blame the turkey when it's dry.
@cadillacdeville5828 3 жыл бұрын
Bert reminds me of Gary Owens 🤣😂
@lguevara7865 3 жыл бұрын
A bee line out of B Reps! Lol
@INTERNA9 3 жыл бұрын
Awesome!!!!!!
@fybmac5692 3 жыл бұрын
Happy Thanksgiving everyone
@nicole4589 3 жыл бұрын
4:54 He said move
@hunkim4787 3 жыл бұрын
@:4:59 It's thanksgiving. I went to lab at 7:45 am to do an experiment which lasted until late afternoon.
@karenday9109 3 жыл бұрын
Omg I howled!
@koopydoopy8632 3 жыл бұрын
0:36 and that was the one thing he thought when divorcing her.
@sandrasetin1721 3 жыл бұрын
Love m all John My fav!!!
@JingleJangle256 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed. My family hasn’t done turkey for Thanksgiving since we started doing ham. Ham is the best.
@chillbang8505 3 жыл бұрын
Spent this thankgiving by myself today and have never felt this depressed any tips from anyone please?
@kevinmay9151 3 жыл бұрын
Reach out to someone even if it's just for a couple minutes and ask how they doing
@coreyfeathers5083 3 жыл бұрын
I’ve found doing something for a total stranger is the best feeling
@brandonboykin9228 3 жыл бұрын
Just be glad your alive and have your health! Many people don’t! You are a good person and have self worth
@rashaunjones1027 3 жыл бұрын
This year has been rough on everyone , I deliver meals to the people who don't have any and it puts things in perspective. It makes me thankful in doing this because I know that I am making two of the most amazing beings happy and that is our Almighty God and his Son Jesus Christ glad. The King is coming to relieve us all through God's Kingdom.If you want to know more I would be glad to help.
@solegonz762 3 жыл бұрын
Honor your feelings. Some holidays suck royally & are rough. I listen to music alot to help shift my headspace. Emotions are emotions. Sometimes you need to just ride it out. Very cliche but working out helps too. The first 10 minutes suck & then I get over the hump, focus & feel better afterwards. I also like to paint- I'm not good- but it shuts off the noise. I also eat delicious but healthy foods. When I eat crap for too long my mood really changes for the worst. Hope you dont get any more holiday blues.
@madelinemedellin1500 3 жыл бұрын
As a first-generation kid in America growing up it was so confusing Thanksgiving Day to me because it was just a holiday push on me by my school.
@beingxrehan 3 жыл бұрын
Am I the only one who read Turkey 'country' from the thumb nail.
@tombstonejones9581 3 жыл бұрын
Yes.
@buse5593 3 жыл бұрын
This wad offensive shit lmao🤣 Just kiddin
@beingxrehan 3 жыл бұрын
@but why disgusting thoughts
@martinaguilar1220 3 жыл бұрын
Happy thanksgiving
@marvelglr Жыл бұрын
Anyone else had to google the last supper to see if she was right? lol
@jordangarza9562 3 жыл бұрын
the last dude had conviction when he said fuck turkey💀
@stevenvonsancho 3 жыл бұрын
Nothing kicks off a merry and gay Thanksgiving festival better than bringing out the greasy butterball turkey 🦃
@iamgremliana_69 3 жыл бұрын
My sister had to take my nephew to the doctors and he peed in her so I went to Forever 21 and got her a new outfit. She was worried about the price tags cuz I left them on. She's like I can't wear this it's to expensive. "Why it's not my money, it's forever's money, I'll pay them back in portions it's ok now go change." It's was my whole don't worry I got money gloating thing.
@jijitters 3 жыл бұрын
Good picks.
@alightened 3 жыл бұрын
This is hysterical hahahah. We don’t shut down for ANYTHING.
@grapejuicerry1982 3 жыл бұрын
jesus, didn’t know so many people have no taste. mulaney is fucking hilarious. best modern comic.
@mrchikago4420 3 жыл бұрын
Hi everyone Happy Thanksgiving ..and in case they take away our phones .Merry Christmas ,happy president day, Happy Easter lol😀😂😂
@tiffanys336 3 жыл бұрын
Last guy was funniest
@trippsmclovin 3 жыл бұрын
Real tip, if you don't want dry turkey. let it rest!!!!! Use a thermometer and let it rest!!!! Past 3 thanksgivings we haven't hosted and have had the driest turkey. Luckily this year it is my wife's turn and she makes that WAT!
@Mikey-ikeyyy 3 жыл бұрын
Lol why the first comedian remind me of Barry Allen from the flash show 🤔😅
@StormySensei 3 жыл бұрын
Mulaney with the rare husband W
@CloudJack 3 жыл бұрын
The cheeseburger guy with no shirt reminds me of Randy.
@LilyLilers 3 жыл бұрын
LMAO
@j3xy342 2 жыл бұрын
John Mulaney is like The Flash but funny
@kh0357 3 жыл бұрын
mulaney is criminally underrated
@baschoen23 3 жыл бұрын
Wow judge my day more Netflix!
@nodeloliver6201 3 жыл бұрын
I agree with Andrew Yang. Hilarious, but true.
@damnedman0455 3 жыл бұрын
How can this fix my thanksgiving when my thanksgiving was a month ago.
@jillvasquez1010 3 жыл бұрын
I love turkey!!!
@jaysewell5528 3 жыл бұрын
omg the first guy's wife! is this what most US Americans are like?
@fishingwitheddie1535 3 жыл бұрын
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