Wow.. I truly felt this😞

EXACTLY!!

I feel the same way, even 20 years later😔

Do not cry. It does not do you any good. Think about today

Anne Kenna well said. This post resonated with me. I’ve let my self down so many times because I wanted to be wanted. I wish you all the best your journey.

Crazy Town Productions regardless of who it is

I just learned that he didn't love.I could not get that fact..I thought he loved me so much..I thought he was insecure and that he loved me..he is in love with himself and so vein!! Disrespectful beyond compare!!

Or they just love the idea of having you there by their side to feed em the attention they need and thus the reason they cant let u go when u leave, cuz they need everyone to accept them, enable them, and support them but but they cant do it in return.

They enjoy their POWER over their opponents. They get an INTOXICATING RUSH IN PLAYING A POWER GAME With the SWEET SOFT-HEARTED COMPASSIONATE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. THOSE Showing Mercy COMPASSION PEACE WARMTH Nurturing CARE With FORGIVENESS for their bulling powers. They are NOT DEEPLY HAPPY People. They do not KNOW WHAT LOVE IS. ITS NOT SEX. IT IS NOT HARM. HURT. DESTRUCT. DAMAGE. NOT Taking advantage of ANYTHING GOOD: BENEFICIAL. THEY NEED

They LOVE THE WAYS YOU LOVE THEM. LOVE THEM. THEY CAN NOT GET Enough of your ENERGY & SANITY to FEEL HAPPY LOVEABLE & GIVING LIKE YOU. They are envious & jealous OF YOUR LOVING GIVING POWERS. IT IS A GAME To them. Wishes & DESIRES TO GET TAKE & WIN WIN WIN!! King! A GOD figure powers. Complex minds. GAME GAME TIME. Good fortune

That little sentence was huge.

Coming to this realization 😢

Well, damn. That is completely true.

It’s the hardest to accept but it really is the key! It destroys the illusion and it forces you to let go. Otherwise the lingering (and very false) hope keeps us around far longer.

are you THE jack dorsey?

BeaCG you are loved, you are healing and joy awaits you. Will keep you in my prayers 💛

You will it takes time to heal and stay away from them..

Stay strong, you deserve happiness.

BeaCG you are telling my story! 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I hope you're doing alright BeaCG

I have been told I'm too sensitive a lot

Yeah, it’s gaslighting

"you can't take a joke, you're too serious, you never joke"

OR saying or doing something to hurt you on purpose, then saying "i was just joking, it's a joke" 🙄🙄🙄

Yes, they smile all the time but you get the stinger, that tiny little comment they know sets you off. Once you scream, you're the bad person.

A perfect explanation.

and when dealing with some man that is a passive-aggressive behavior ! 🏃‍♂️ run !

Yess 🙁

Same

I use to say something similar to this all the time.

Thank you sooo much I'm dealing with a religious narcissist

Thank you

I'm 53 yrs old. I am just discovering this. Is it too late for me?

​@@kimberlykerr6672 Discovering how to love yourself and to appreciate your boundaries and needs is never too late 🙏

Thank you for writing this💞

Gabriela, I agree. It's like a broken record. And so sad because they target very kind, giving people. Like they are emotional blood suckers draining every ounce of kindness and sanity from you.

Cat Whisperer It's the sad truth

And they take that 'forgiveness' as a license to abuse again and again.

as an empath she hurt me deeply,,,these people are dangerous

And they will say it’s your fault for what they did to you

Yvonne Forbes such amazing words! You should be so so proud of yourself!

Thank you Stephanie! Today has been tough as I am missing him. No wonder women keep going back. Trust me I am fighting it everyday! I know he will never change but what I cant get over is the feelings that I am feeling. I hope they go away soon! x

You absolutely got this! Listen to as many coaches and speakers as you can and start knowing an believing that you deserve BETTER!! Once you really live in that belief that you deserve a healthy partner and when you know what that should look like then you will not miss the abuse. Just focus on loving yourself!! When we doubt that what we want even exist is when we resort back to old ways or people that are not good for us because we don't want to be single. We often think being single is the worst thing in the world but it will allow you to focus on YOU, to love YOU and for you to get to a really great and healthy place so you can attract a healthy partner and an amazing relationship!

I am listening to your videos now. Stephanie many thanks agian, I appreaciate it.

Yvonne Forbes I completely agree I have wasted 32 of my life with this man I am still with him his a naccicisst sykopath path he has phsicall abused me emotional mentally abuses me èvan then strangly shokingly I have always loved him still do they destroy yu ruin yu they act like ther god over yu I cm from a Asian background

STONEWALLING is a decision 😢

5:15

@Lilly J Yasss Queen

and it will, use the you tube tutorials and get your smile back

No, it won’t get better.

Same brother. It’s a rough road. Everything is being turned back on me. I know I was no saint in my codependent manipulations, but I was never willfully hurtful and only wanted to be heard and feel cared about. Now I question whether she is in fact narcissistic or just repeating learned behavior from her abusive childhood. Perhaps they’re one and the same. I still wonder if I (too?) am narcissistic.

Same here man! Stay up and live well!

Sounds just like me. Last 2 weeks working on it as that’s when I recognized I was co dependent

I went thru this long a go, you ladies I know it's scary and 75 % of women are killed when they are leaving because they dom't want to lose there victim. It's easy to have someone treat you like they love you. I used to wonder if it was the way I cooked, why he would put me down and calling me names I was so glad to leave, I never thought I would be able to calmly tell him to go and I was the one that took my power back - I felt sooo good, I just wanted to yell it to the moon. It took me a lonģg time. You can do this, because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

This was exactly my last relationship. Gaslighting and put downs when he didn't have control. I was so depressed.

Where should a 60 years old friend of mine look to find a husband? She wants to be married. She is full of life and happiness but she is alone on the other side of the world.

Do you guys have kids together? Was it hard with kids to walk away?

@@user-by1pv7sv5d having kids with the person makes it harder but its still important to protect your mental and emotional health and leave a bad situation

I’m so glad you where able to find happiness and free yourself from that person control

You give me hope!

Damn thats deep

So you become the abuser. Definitely different tactics then being an issue as well.

@@chasetrix2432 It's a strategy, not a way of life. You have to lie to them to protect yourself from them. I had to do this to escape a 13 year relationshit with a high narc trait "partner."

Right....you gotta act crazy with crazy people 😂😂😂

Oh how true..i often think ive become a mean person 'ONLY TO HIM"..i can love other's and genuinely care about people ..i have to protect myself from "HIM"

I agree! I was very confident and had a good self esteem but I wasn't good with maintaining boundaries

But now you know, knowing and having that knowledge gives you back the power that rendered you powerless in the first place.

It can happen to the best of us.

Yep, I used to be very confident but slowly got broken down

Absolutely true

True. My friend was both mentally and physically abused. Both are bad but physical is worse.

I wouldn’t know. I’m not the type to get mental scars. I was in a mental abusive relationship for about 10 minutes. The guy literly said you can’t hang with any of your friends ever again and I have to make new ones and called me useless. I was like fuck no I’m out of here. I also don’t have a high tolerance for pain like at all. So that’s I think psychical would be worse. It’s different for each person.

So very sad but true! Currently trying to heal from being emotionally abused. You truly don’t realize it when it is happening. Made me think I was too sensitive, emotional and overreacting... made me feel like I was crazy. 😔 Now I depression and anxiety. I’m so sorry you went through this too!! 😢

i think any type of abuse is at the same level they all affect you and change you

It depends on the person.

Becky Queen Little digs, yessss. That is my mother.

Not all of us have low self-esteem. But definitely weak or non existent boundaries. He felt insecure because of my self-esteem. Loneliness is also an issue. Even people with healthy self-esteem can't deal with horrible affects of lack of support and foundation. They pick people with little to no support system. Not everyone has low self-esteem, but try living in this world alone majority of your time and see if that doesn't drive the most sane and independent person insane!

Thanks for this.

Laura Severi literally about to write the same thing : (

My daughter was murdered by her husband who then killed himself.

Thank you

❤

❤

I needed this video as much as I needed this comment today. Thanks.

Thanks I needed to hear this!

When they tell you you're too sensitive you start thinking "I need to prove them wrong, that I can handle this" ... Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. You don't need to keep doing something to prove you can do it.

Get away from them!

Dr. Ramani Durvasula and Dr. Les Carter have great KZfaq channels on abuse and mental health 💕

same im scared to go there

Don’t let her convince you that you are a “victim,“ what she is describing is very vague, virtually everybody including you fits into these descriptions every now and again.

@@fruitbud what are you afraid of? Believe me these people are professionals and they expect you to be afraid and in some sort of “bad shape,“ people (typically) don’t go when everything is going terrific. For somebody to seek therapy they are probably having issues in their career, education, or with a romantic partner or (regard of age) their parents.

@@WATERS57 thank you sm

I’m in the same boat. I hope this worked out well for you from the bottom of my heart.

This is how I live on the daily, my feelings thoughts and mental health are completely disregarded but I know I’m not the problem. I got stonewalled that much which killed me but I ended up becoming a master at giving it back

❤️❤️❤️

He wasn’t abusive; he was truthful telling you that you lacked boundaries. An abuser would not have told you, just used your inability to set them. Everything is not permissible! Respect is the foundation of civilization and all working relationships, not like, not even love. Respect for self and others. Glad you met yourself. Sometimes even put harshest critics move us away from them ( luckily) but towards ourselves. Good luck to you in 2022.

@@jeanettesdaughter I think they’re not saying that the boyfriend wasn’t abusive, but made them aware of potentially being open to allowing abuse in their life based on how they were raised. No where in there did they say the boyfriend was abusive.

Um yeah. That was gist of what I was saying. He was truth telling about boundaries and I learned what they were at that moment. However I did not give one iota of information regarding why I'm glad he's no longer in my life. Because that is no one's business but mine and his. So for you to tell me he was not abusive is based on your own suppositions. Especially since I did not say HE was abusive...or wasn't.

@@okay5488 Exactly. Thank you for comprehending my post.

💛

I feel u on that!

I can relate😪 it’s like where are the positive ppl I can just be around all the time. My friends are the only positive normal ones👌

I can relate😪 it’s like where are the positive ppl I can just be around all the time. My friends are the only positive normal ones👌

🌟

I dated / had a friends with benefits (although wanted a more in the relationship) with a man I knew for many years. I finally got the courage to cut him off and tell him no contact. A HUGE weight was lifted off my shoulders! Best thing I could ever done for myself! Don't miss him!

Aukha bahut a, but karna painda kai vaar. Je bachhe involved hon ta doubly difficult

Living well is the best revenge.

I broke the no contact rule, and it was the stupidest idea that I have ever done. I was coping up for the first three weeks, but then I contacted him after finding out he has a new girl. I got jealous and now, moving on is a lot harder as I have been having intrusive thoughts of them talking together or doing the activities that we have done together before. It was a mental torture. It was worse than the first days of our breakup. I felt like a fool after him ignoring my reachouts, and just completely blocked him hours after. Then I just accepted that we are done, but I'm still healing. The pain, anger, and disappointments are still here. I keep on reminding myself on how much he had emotionally-abused me, on how much emotionally destroyed I am because of what had happened. But I'm still thankful for him as I now know that I'm capable of loving genuinely, and I have learned about myself! Currently, I'm trying to cope up day-by-day. When the thoughts of them came, I will indulge myself in those feelings. I face them, let myself feel the pain, and try to remind myself that I have done my best, and that there is a good future for me and I don't have to worry about them as they are not in my future! In short, never, ever break the no-contact rule, nor stalk him/her. It will definitely slow your healing process. STOP EVERY URGES THAT YOU ARE FEELING.

@@fluffyfelix539 how are you doing now? My ex did the same it hurts!

I was in a similar ordeal a long time ago & i dated a woman for 4 1/2 months & i began to discover the red flags about her & i did'nt spoke to her in a week she called & started gaslighting me but i did'nt care i told her off & slammed the phone in her ears so i established a no contact policy towards her for life so i'm better off without her so never again.

You dodged a bullet. 🙏

​@@sherriflemming3218I was just gonna type that!

Exactly and well said Iza. Trauma bond. Covert Narcissist Abuse Coercive Control---Dr Sam Vaknin podcast Narcissistic Abuse Is Never Your Fault-- Dr Sam Vaknin podcast 8 Common Types Of Trauma Bonds - Dr Ramani podcast If you need to call a doctor an attorney or a policeman it's time to exit a relationship, pronto. You cannot fix heal or change an abuser. Never doubt patterns AKA The Track Record. You deserve to be safe and healthy . ❤️ There are agencies and organizations to assist and support you. A safety plan and exit strategy with a trustworthy support system. 🤐 The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker In The Presence Of Danger Masterclass podcast Gavin De Becker The Duluth Power And Control Wheel Safe People by Henry Cloud The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And Body In The Healing From Trauma -;Dr Gabor Mate Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood Codependent No More by Melanie Beattie What The Heck Is Self Love Anyways? Jonathon Aslay The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix (Imago) Attached by Amir Levine

When our light is off inside we are left with a black hole within us, and that black hole consumes light energy, because these people chose "not to go there" and deal with the trauma of their childhood experiences they did not re-open their hearts door, and reconnect with their true being their light source, the child soul. They then become like vampires, energy vampires, in fact we being brought up by people who were just like this, we were also lost and we learnt to drain the energy of others, as we had no other option, having had our light drained, we became energy vampires too. When our hearts have hardened and our light is dimmed within the body, we grow up in that darkness, not knowing we are in the dark, until someone shines a light into that darkness, the light of true knowledge, when in a state of being dispirited we can either except that light, and use it to light our own flame within, and continue to seek that true knowledge within, in order for our spirit to grow, or like these people who hurt us, choose not to light up their own flame, but choose to feed on it instead, yet because they are black holes they can never be full, they cannot contain that light it is consumed into their black ho. When in this state like a vampire they cannot see themselves, so they have no reflection, and have no in-sight into what they are doing, that darkness within them is also a form of matter, anti-matter, and if left in the body to grow becomes a thing, a monster within us, that is filled with all our unresolved pain and suffering we have ignored, that is what makes us act out, that is the force behind all the destruction, it also keeps the child soul captive, in a coop on a loop, repeating the abuse they endured on a daily basis. What light is left flowing through the gap of the door to their little hearts is feeding that dark entity within. In order to get rid of the monster within, we need to be honest with ourselves, we need to choose to re-open our hearts door, so it can begin the cleaning up process, as its all energy, and we took on a lot of dark energy with all the abuse, and it distorted our inner waters, and our perceptions, the water within became blocked up, because we had to hold back our tears, all that dark energy needs to be flushed out, that's why we were given tear ducts, "There is no rainbow in the soul when there are no tears" Those repressed inner waters holds all memories, all our experiences are recorded and memorised, as water has memory. The DNA is our book of life our blueprint, that holds our life story, we can re-read that book, go back to the beginning to the very start, and re-write the story, we can make things right for the child we were, we the adult can be the mother, and give her all the love she never received, we can be with them to comfort them, to let them know they you are there to protect them now.. "I don't trust myself" I said that years back when i was lost and on auto pilot dispirited, more than once, and now I know why, because i the adult had ignored who I was, I forgot all about the child soul i was suppose to be seeking, i got lost in my suffering and lured into the world outside of myself, and got lost, i thought i was the fictional self the child me had created to take her place in the body, i forgot all about her, i abandoned her, and continued to fill the body with crap, more pain on top off all the mud of the child's sufferings, she was buried beneath the mud and dark stormy stagnant waters, that had a monster living in it, no wonder she did not trust me. It was the little girl inside me that did not trust me the adult who was now the abuser of her, "self hatred" This journey is not easy, its defo worth every effort though, to find our precsious cargo, to reconnect with who we really are, to snap out of our self delusion that we were the fictional self that our ego mind created to act its role in this world wide stage, where "They are all actors and they play many parts" To relight up our inner flame, to switch our light back on, to switch on our humanity, so we are not ravenous vampires devouring each other and being led by wolves in sheeps clothing,carrying uninvited hosts. The energy centers in the body are doors, there is only one Door we ought to be opening, and that is the Door to our hearts, where to Light Frequency of all things living flows, that is what protects and guards those other doors, who comes in and where we go, as those other doors have entities in them, and they are the other unseen kingdoms, connected to the seven colour spectrums, the prism the rainbow, they lead to other dimensions, so when our light is off we are left unprotected from the influences of these other entities in the lower frequencies, as when our light is dim we vibrate on a lower frequency, i think that's why the world is experiencing a lot of weird phenomena as the masses are traumatised and on a lower vibration? Seek and you shall find, what was lost and left behind Hidden treasures there to find, our spirit that is loving and kind Creative talents, to inspire and uplift, and a guiding light a spiritual gift

To the T this is behavior that my current partner has been doing. To make me doubt myself, destroy my self esteeem.

Unicorn Dust please don’t stay. It doesn’t get better. People are essentially the same. Run!!

Unicorn Dust ps. I meant that people essentially STAY the same. Good luck x

AJ P 😔dammit. It’s hopeless then.

Unicorn Dust same. Anytime he does something wrong it’s a wall when you try to explain your emotions about the incident. It’s bordering on covert narcissism 🤦🏾‍♀️

Runnnnn

missmerbella BINGO!!!

That is so correct. They do know and you can see it in their eyes. Specialy when they know that you love them, reaspect them and when you are living up to your hi morals and ethics. I grow up with abuse from day 1 and after age 6 I witness how my stepfather was killing my mothers mind and body. At age 13 I started to defend my mother and my brother and we did survive. My mom is 62 now and she is doing better. My brother is my pride and joy. Only me, I was not so lucky.... After everithing we went thru I was married to person that used me for everything and one day he just left without one word. Me and my son we are doing best to overcome. For my son it will be izzier becouse he is not alone and he is smart and strong boy. We love him very much. I just wish for me to be able to collect my broken pieces.... Becouse today I just feel Lost and without energy to stand strong. Too many scars......

Gemini

missmerbella 1 million percent nailed it!!! 🙌🏼

@@anditsreyna020 what do u mean Gemini? cus my covert narsicist Jezebel...wife,is a Gemini ..I read there traits it sounds like a covert narsicist/Jezebel ...very weird

They KNOW they are mistreating you, even if they may not know the specific label for what they are doing, they know they are treating you in a way that they would never accept back from you. Think about it. If you talked to him in the same manner, what would be his reaction? I don't advise doing it, just imagining it. Once you flip it and imagine how they would react if they were on the receiving end, then you can better imagine as well exactly how it was meant. If they didn't intend anything ugly, then they would take no offense if you said something similar back to them and in the same tone of voice, etc., but they would. Thus, they know it is abusive whether they label it that way or not. The comments you are getting about your crying are not just invalidating of your pain, they are cruel, full of anger and contempt, not to mention a complete lack of respect for you. You will know whether it is abusive by how it makes you feel. Believe in yourself, he has proven to be an unreliable witness. You don't need to let your childhood traumas go, you need to let him go. Best of luck to you.

Same

Same

I’ve experienced this a lot

(Sigh) Is there hope that they’ll change their ways?

The universal narc language

💯

I don't agree with you my son was never emotionally abused And he emotionally abuses me.... He is 35 years old He was given all the love and attention he is codependent..... In my opinion It is a mental issue Thank you

Da835t,sounding very emotionally stable, and some aren't broken but seem devoid of repair, prone codependency, thanks for sharing,feeling in order to fully understand them,you empty yourself out, disemboweling, destabilizing, emotionally detaching just to give yourself and the marriage some chance, piecing back together ones ownself day by day,before waves of hurt and insults allow you to,always found so wanting, always so full of more and more nothingness.kindest regards otherwise dear Sir..David

It's hard to recognize it as a man. There really aren't any resources for you and if you bring it up, people think you're overreacting or pin you as the abuser. It consumes you.

Agreed 100%

You can do it!!...I've been there!

Your a strong beautiful woman. You deserve better.

Same here Christina - mine is a Covert, Malignant Narc. I think he could at times, be dangerous. However, I will leave when I can afford it.

I’m in the same situation and I’m pregnant. I can’t decide what to do cuz I love him 😞. He always says that I’m his bad luck and he’s gonna be happy without me.

@@donavallisowmya leave him. You can do so much better. Follow Ana bey on youtube and level up to a man who sees your worth. You can become a women a high caliber and very successful.

I know you just described me 😢

😔

I’ve met an empath that used her ability to manipulate people. So not all empaths are innocent.

I felt your comment on a spiritual level. This is so true without the devotion narcissists are powerless

@@tammy8780 so true Tammy!

This is very true and the same thing has happened to me

I get the don t play the victim card... because I get so low about a fight or blow up . And then I sit there questioning myself did I cause that?

@@sharondurward9387 True, my ex would cause a tantrum, did not matter where, when and who is there (including my 2 kids) - then I would be blamed for it and told that I must stop btichin and moaning and making life all about me...left me confused...I have had enough now.

SAME!!!!!!!

can you pls help me, i think im losing my mind. He wanted me to leave all my friends just because he didnt like them, he used blame shame and guilt when i tried to get them back. He said that i hurt him and im disrespecting him when i want them back and when they are not good for me in his opinion. Do i really disrespect him when he wants me to leave all my potencional friends when he knows that i find it hard to make and keep friendships? he blamed me for everything possible and my every opinion is wrong and i need to get punishment to think the right thing

and i always tried to leave but i felt bad, came back and everything started again and in even worse way and i dont know how to handle it anymore

Watch out. Look into Dr George simon. Ppl know EXACTLY what they are doing. Making excuses for their behavior only keeps the cycle going. It's a rude awakening but so neccessaty.

Which is why it's important to marry someone who is God inclined, not necessarily "religious". At least that person is open to the fact they may have something to learn from a Higher Power. Important to be equally yoked, as the Bible puts it. You can more easily call them on their abusive behavior and if they change or make repeated attempts, you stick around.

Some people don't realize what they are doing fully for sure. My former partner had an extremely abusive childhood and would gaslight and silent treatment me all the time. But I truly believe that he went into a child-like "trauma brain" response and would shut down most of the time. It was so so hard. Because he didnt get what he was doing, and then I would have to explain to him over and over how what he was doing was hurtful, and then his shame would kick in and he would say "Im never going to be good enough for you", leading me to have to reassure. So I could never just be mad, I had to be a teacher too, and it was exhausting and so so deeply painful.

So immature and controlling

Same here Yasmin. It's dehumanizing & degrading. However - once I started learning about all of their (Narcs) dirty little tricks & that they do them ON PURPOSE 🤯, the light bulb turned on & my rose colored glasses came off. I dove into so many videos from Dr. Les Carter 'Surviving Narcassism' & Dr. Ramani on KZfaq & I learned so much. It was easy to completely emotionally detach from him at that point. The fact that someone would be so damaged inside that they would intentionally be so awful/cruel to someone they had professed to love is unforgivable in my book. I don't want to be with someone like that. I was so naive that I didn't even understand that his: Silent Treatments; his Selective Amnesia; his Projections & Gaslighting, his Selective Hearing & Lies by Omission were all just his "games" & ways to manipulate me & to keep me confused & off balance. Stephanie Lynn's advice is really good & she feels like having a really good, smart ally in your corner.

@@mdee860 Oh my goodness, all those “selective” elements you listed. Just too familiar. I’m so sorry you had to experience that but happy that you’ve overcome! I’ll checkout those names you listed, thank you 💜

@@yasminf3249 - 😘 Wishing you peace & serenity. Knowledge is the key. PS: I was very angry when I first started to comprehend how he had manipulated me, but that too, will pass. Best thing to do is to understand why I/you/we fall for these people in the 1st place. That's the 🔑 🗝 to breaking the chain.

@@mariahconklin4150 - 👏👏👏 Yes, just another way to punish & manipulate. Narcs suck the air out of any room.

I agree

Yes indeed the lack of education and knowledge are making healthy people fall in to a narcs , toxic and delusional people ....knowledge is power mm.... Stay bless y'all !!!!

Especially when we reach an age when we start dating or calling someone our boyfriend/girlfriend.

It’s part of your psychology class in high school.

Its not in Australia, it's only just touched on in university. I wish someone told me well before now.

Did you?

Hope you have by now....?

I'm thinking of breaking up too...its hard we've been together over 5 years now.. he just doesnt realize what hes doing & its pushing me away & I'm tired of it.

@@PgirlRangerz you should please... You even sound exhausted. It's not gonna be easy but hey, nothing good comes easy... Once you do so, it would actually feel like you haven't been breathing for sooo long.. Keep educating yourself on how to go about it.. It might be over 5 years now, but do u really wanna spend the next 5 with him? If no, then do it now! If you don't, you just might end up spending the next 10 before you know it You can. Trust me, it may not seem like it at first but it's like the best best thing you'll ever do for yourself and you won't even be able to deny it. I'm so passionate about this. Muah! I wish you the best! I just broke up with mine about 2 months ago. I'm already looking and even feeling younger.. And also learning a lot about myself. It's amazing how much things the pain I endured is teaching me. Um.. I read something that empowered me.. "the most courageous thing that you will ever do is to let go of what is hurting your soul" and "sometimes, you have to break your heart to heal your soul".. I truly wish you the best and hope you don't procrastinate too long. Muah! My prayers are with you. 💕💕

@@tundeawosika4594 You dont know how much your words help me.🙏🏽 That's very sweet of you & I've made up my mind. I'm talking to him now about matter of fact. But I just wanted to reply because I really appreciate your help & advice. Im glad you're happier now too! You sound more free & wise lol You're amazing & thank you so much for your comment💜

My “mother” told me same thing but hundreds times

How sad parents tell their offspring these things, God Bless yall.

Be the best version of you and live a life with no need of hiding secrets and you are a success!

Yup! And it keeps rearing it's head. It's Complex PTSD

Yes, and once subjected to abuse, we become desensitized to it. Thus, we become vulnerable to experiencing maltreatment again, until becoming educated.

ain’t that the truth 😞

I just realized not too long ago I was(and still am) being emotionally abused by my boyfriend but yet I don’t know how to leave. I know it’s wrong but it’s not that simple to just throw everything away.

@@thesimsismylife9816, make an escape plan. The abuse gets worse, and your self confidence can be severely eroded. Leave while you're strong.

What if they go after your phone and get on you trying to take the phone away.. Happened to me today:(

@Solveig St-Juste buy another record get help and run

@Solveig St-Juste I strongly suggest you tell someone what's going on older who you trust and if you've been physically assaulted or verbally I suggest you u eventually take it to court not acceptable behavior at all:)) xx

NO. In Pennsylvania, that would be a felony for violation of a wiretap law still on the books from the 1940s. Courts have ruled that a wire isn’t necessary for this to still be a violation, as the point being to eliminate non-consensual recordings. I suspect there’s a similar law in nearly every state. Check with local authorities before doing this. I could backfire in a BIG way.

@@daveh9803 some states have a one party agreement to recording. I know we do in AZ. As long as at least one person consents to being recorded, it's perfectly legal.

Are you crazy woman! You are only 44, that is so young. You have already said he won’t change. Start loving yourself. Of course he will be bad in a divorce, but are you any better now. And what about what your children are learning from him. Act the same, while you make plans, that way you can control when you leave! You have a lot of living to do. He doesn’t make you feel good about yourself now, so start self love. You have wasted your time loving someone who doesn’t love you. I know I’ve been doing the same, with a Narc, so my heart goes out to you. These people only care about themselves!!!!

I have been there for 37 years! I got out! I'd say to you RUN! As fast as you can! If you have to plan a getaway then start! You are worth so much more than you realize right now! 🙏🙏

He is a Abusive Bully! He is a Coward inside. The ONLY reason he IS Bullying you IS Because You are allowing him to. Giving him permission to treat You like this. Wake up & understand his threats are because He knows! You believe them. He is a Coward. Exposing a Bully IS the Best! Thing you can Do. Love Yourself & Your kids enough to GET out & Cut off ALL associations with this Bully, & Predator !!

How are you doing?

@@charlottehessley8349 he’s reached out 3 times in the past year (apologizing, wanting to be friends, etc. but clearly it’s for his ego) and each time I’ve been able to respectfully tell him to not contact me anymore. I feel nothing towards him. Blocking him was the best thing I could have done for myself. It helped me recognize what a horrible person he was, and how I would never want someone like that in my life.

I'm here. I can't . I still cry. I've broken up. He came visited me again and then blocked me after then posted gory images and now just ignoring me and just I want this over

Emma I don't rely on validation from others either girl!

It is called a trauma bond.

Yup. Have a female relative who was given the world growing up. I've never met such a dangerous liar.

I come from 2 loving parents, raised me properly. That's how I know this dude is narcisstic, he had 2 chick's who had 2 parents and blew it 2 times.

Armando Farinas is like to know your story since you seem to be a male? Im a male in an abusive relationship with my wife.

I hope you are super happy. That's a long time to suffer. And Armando, I hope you were able to find happiness and peace.

Isn't she great?

Thank you for sharing because I am 51 years old and just leaving my husband of 17 years after living this way thinking this is normal My Story 2 is too long to tell thank God for freedom

Yay!!!!!

Catherine Harris I know this feels like a lot but trust me you need to be thankful that you woke up. There are so many people that never wake up to this abuse and live their whole lives in terrible relationships. Abusive relationships! How you can heal and really start to get to it even better place is to dive into healing from codependency and learning how to love yourself. Those two things will completely turn your life around. You will be able to attract a healthy partner into your life going forward.

Catherine Harris woah, that’s hella time. Am so sorry you had to go through all this. I did experience same. The last year. Am still doing all my best to get over it all.

Catherine Harris I know this seems overwhelming but regardless of how long it took you to awaken be thankful that you did because there are tons of people that never do and are still in the midst of abuse. I would also say be really patient with yourself during this process. Healing and moving on is not something that happens magically overnight but as long as you are doing what you need to do to really heal you 100% will get there. 💗

Catherine Harris You are so brave. My heart goes out to you.

Catherine Harris I just got out of the same exact situation much shorter time though. I felt every single way you felt. I hope you heal & find yourself 🙌🏽

Lara O'neal Yes Smart.

Interesting. True.

I was disowned in my 30's as well. No matter how mature you perceive yourself to be it still hurts like a million paper cuts.

Keep looking forward

FACTS!!!

Carolina Alvarez so very sorry you have to go through this. For me, just thinking about the freedom and happiness that awaits me beyond the toxic relationship has been helping in my healing. You deserve happiness. For you, I wish to Christ freedom and all the joy and peace you rightfully deserve💛

😓😓

These videos are a good place to communicate and share with others who understand ❤️ I encourage abuse counselling

Wow I’m dealing with this now 💔

Very true. I had a coworker tell me that i always seemed happy. Wow. Little did he know what was going on in the inside

lacie george I kinda did this too at the very end. I got so angry and hurt that he did those things to me that I started to fight back. I think of it as self defense. It might not be the right thing to do, but I did it. And even then, I'm not sure that what I did really was abuse. It was mostly yelling (sometimes I did yell, but I mostly didn't actually yell) at him that he hurt me and that I didn't get any kind of love or respect back from him.

Same and it only made me feel worse

Same at the end, its called reactive abuse, they push you so far that you crack, I had no coie what was going on at the time, if i had known it was abuse i wouldnt of reacted the way i did but that's why emotional abuse is insidious, they van turn it all around on you in the end when you react, it's pure evil x

@@vikki-leec6169 I agree. Reactive abuse seems right at that time but we feel guilty coz we have become just like our abuser and that's what they're trying to prove that, "we" are the bad ones.

Same :( . It's common to become like our abusers

Pack hide your stuff. Act normal! Get out fast quiet, go far, lose number and never look back. Shut down all social media. Tell no one-run!!!!

Tough stuff, isn't it? .... Lonely and liberating at the same time.

Amen!!!!!

Mirror, mirror on the wall which Narc Will play my roll. I'm in shock of hoe many people were brought up by these kinds of parents? Without love and understand your needs..Sick! Get the hell away, today! You only can help them' if they admit they have to change. But, it's lost energy.

Yes I understand that about they act like a victim of.

chui 1 ...it’s amazing how they turn the tables on you...that’s gaslighting and I’ve been gaslit for 23 years...I’m an expert on how it feels...in one word....it’s...DEVASTATING...

Karen Wellington absolutely!

Stephanie Lyn Coaching I learned cognitive dissonance as a young child dealing with a nightmare childhood, being a child I of course didn't know what the separation of soul to body was. The breakthrough of the realization he doesn't exist is what saved me!! As rabbit holes go I was down pretty deep, 17 years of abuse, three years after leaving only to have my 15 year old son that I left his father because he started abusing him now wants to live with him. Heartbreak beyond belief, unfortunately we cannot make our kids who we wish they were. We can only set the example and hope they follow you're teachings. Teenagers want what they want when they want it, sad thing is his hard lesson will be in believing his father can or will provide for him.

Karen Wellington omg same here....17 yrs my 2 children his stepchildren going along with him for the benefits he bribes them with after having abused for years. Hurts so much

C H sorry for you're pain.

Karen Wellington ...Am struggling so bad with letting go of that wish for that fake self to come back....cos it always would briefly. But since he s been back after discard cos I insulted (apparently) him and his narc daughter...I only get the angry hateful devaluing mocking version. Don't know whether the other is ever coming back. I will lose everything I have worked for for 18 years and lose my beloved animals and gardens that were my sanity. How do I be Ok?

Read Cali Connleys book on how she got out and rebuilt her entire life.

When we seen or lived domestic abuse at home is hard to identify it as an adult in a relationship. Emotional abuse is too familiar to be recognized. I know because that is my story too😢 . Now in a relationship that is abusive in many ways .Trying to break away but can’t find the courage to run free.

I hate when people want to fix everything with apologies.. the harm is done.

My ex did the same to me, he was a master at deflecting anything back onto me.

@@rachelcookson3492 right!

So true. I'm sorry means nothing. The harm is done. You didn't have the control, discipline to not say the harmful words. Immature, childish

Yes, it is a topic that most people do not talk about!

This is so true and unfortunately people often learn once they have been abused and suffered. I hope everyone can one day learn about the early signs of manipulation. I guess we can only hope and keep spreading knowledge ourselves

YES! This is what I experienced. Being given the silent treatment, then invalidated, gaslight, and constant boundary violations. Then after so long of this each time, I would flip out, but then I was the "bad guy" and look he didn't even "do anything" (yeah silent treatment is actually doing something!), so then in the end it was all made out to be my fault because I would react to the treatment I was being given.

Clara smith I am so happy that you loved the video! All the best!

Clara smith well done i am still going through it

aoifemaria molloy hard to get away from abusers, but so important to do that

Adam Prall yes but i get it from uncles and aunts but i realised some years ago that i am a scape goat from the fact that i was born outside of marriage and never had a man or dad to defend and protect me and my mum has substance induced psychosis so nobody really ever stuck up for me

Adam Prall the abuse started with my being taunted for being short, high pitch voice and i reacted to the bait and it took off from there and as i got older it became psychological, emotionally, mentally and physical and continued through my adult life

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matt 11:28

Tiffany check out the book “Why Does He Do That?” By Lundy Bancroft. Opened my eyes after 13 years of emotional manipulation that just snuck up on me until one day it got real when my physical safety was threatened and I fled as fast as I could.

@@andygreer8645 amen

💥💥💥💥💣

Tiffany Mathis God Bless You... 💕

💯 perfectly stated

💯 Especially the park about how they act when they don’t get what they want

Who knows, maybe your partner is sincere and will change. After all, nobody’s perfect, right?They even promised to marry you. So is it worth it? Marriage after infidelity is a tricky proposition. But if you love the person, forgive and forget, move on and live happily ever after. Just like in the movies. Marriage can be a blessing, but it can also break your heart, especially, if you think you've reached the end of the road. There's no easy path to divorce. So is it worth forgiving someone who cheated on you? Of course. Do it, living with hate is not a good way to live. Is it worth forgetting about it? No. Your experiences in life make you stronger (and hopefully smarter). It's time to examine your feelings about yourself and your marriage. It is understandable that you are hurt by what your husband did. However, he has apologized for it and stopped his relationship with her for you. Now, it is up to you to forgive. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It gives strength to move on. At this point you might have tried marriage counseling and probably hire a good lawyer, to best find the truth for proof in court I suggest you google search" hubtechhack ethical” to help you get proof from your partners device remotely for evidence. Sometimes it's worth saving a relationship and sometimes it isn't. Only you know the answer to the question of whether you should get a divorce or you're better off staying married.

Very well said🙌🙌🙌

You have just described my husband. It hurts to know that I’ve been living this way for do long.

melody pogue,you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏

Sadly religious people can be the worst abusers. They make it look like their actions are sanctioned by God.

THE SIGNS ⚠️ IGNORED BY IGNORANCE . THE TRUTH WILL WAKE YO EYES UP 👀 🥱🤔🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🐎🦓📌

Hoping you are stringer today ♡

Melody, I put up with it for 47 years. He finally died a month ago. I am finally free. I am glad you didn't wait. What a brave, courageous beautiful woman u are. You have a ❤. God bless you. Stop telling yourself that any of it was your fault. I wish u peace ✌. You have earned it.

Vassy Rng what everyone must remember is that this is a personality disorder. The chances of someone recovering from this disorder and realizing they are manipulative and abusive is slime to none. You can have sympathy for someone but that sympathy cannot go so far as to put that person first and you second.

of course this is what happens to us (all that are or were in these bullshit situations) in my case both parents are narcs (..so hard) and I am definitely NOt like them and will never be. Maybe they were in horrible situations too I don't know about their past life but it's of course not my fault and they have chosen their path to be mean. NOt me.

Narcs are very conscious of what they do even though sometimes it looks like it isn't.

I totally agree! Oh poor me ! Pity me ! But YOU must let go & forgive ! It's different ! 😒

Right or how they say that they are so insecure underneath that also can lead to giving them undue empathy....when the truth is they just may just feel superior.

Amazing that you're still able to be confident Jude

Jude Graham my father

Absolute control

How do you handle this when you have been married for 30yrs of violation ...

Just run for your life ok..... Love your self more than you have ever loved you in the past years .. Bless be with you !!!!!

Thank you so much! So glad you enjoyed it!

I was literally just thinking the same thing ... I *feel* lighter just listening to the first few minutes.

Amen amen, honey you deserve it.,)]

This is beautiful

Me too.. let me know how it goes

Read about attachment styles. It'll teach you soooooo much.

@@tamiajackson treat yourself like your someone that you're taking care of.

THIS IS SO TRUE. BAHAHA

lol

It’s 880 now

No, some people want someone who gets to the point and doesn't seem to love to listen to themselves talk.

M Paxton how to make knitted fabric

M Paxton My m i l was the same. Great that you are choosing a better Christmas day in the future. I put up with unpleasant, family dinners every Christmas until she passed away 30 years later. It's great you have made the decision and hope you don't suffer for it.

Hope you can get away from the relationship...you're wasting your life and deserve a better one, you only live once ...good luck.

M Paxton 🙏🏾♥️

Sadly, you not along... It took me 40 years to do what you did because I loved her. It's not an easy decision; but it comes to the point:" Enough is enough"...