Stephen Colbert’s Cyborgasm, CES Edition: A Computer In Your Toilet

Stephen Colbert’s Cyborgasm, CES Edition: A Computer In Your Toilet | Color-Changing Cars

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Күн бұрын

Tech-lover Stephen Colbert looks at some of the exciting new gadgets introduced at the 2023 Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.
#Colbert #Comedy #Cyborgasm
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Пікірлер: 443

@mjmaccabee7252 Жыл бұрын

"the toilet said if we eat Taco Bell it would hire the pillow to kill me. " Dying over this line.

@jv-lk7bc Жыл бұрын

I saw that movie.. it was ok.

@jimmybuffet4970 Жыл бұрын

Wow, now Colbert isn’t the only one reading other peoples’ jokes! 😂

@Norrikan Жыл бұрын

Putting an autonomous robot filled with food onto Florida's streets sounds like a recipe for a billion delightful headlines.

@gregbrown1956 Жыл бұрын

Can't wait for Amazon drones. Or as these are affectionately called: skeet.

@CheMechanical Жыл бұрын

“Today, a Florida robot…”

@3d20gaming Жыл бұрын

free food is all i heard.

@deborahwilson4684 Жыл бұрын

@@gregbrown1956 Love it! I won't even have to say "pull"!

@wendigo53 Жыл бұрын

is that the same as a broken vending machine?

@blueBruSea Жыл бұрын

Cory Wong in the HOUSE. Appreciate the Late Show recognizing great music and talent.

@truthhurts3524 Жыл бұрын

Looks like Stephen had a “cyborgasm” all over his notes! 😂

@chrishei3111 Жыл бұрын

I literally thought it was an on-purpose joke until he just kept looking distraught

@jma331982 Жыл бұрын

I think this was the best Cyborgasm I’ve seen so far 😂 I love Stephen’s ability to be very brainy one minute and completely silly the next.

@chrishei3111 Жыл бұрын

Writers help with that

@NewMessage Жыл бұрын

Somewhere out there, Mike Lindell just threw his pillow on the ground, swore loudly, and went for his hidden crack stash in the toilet tank.

@napalmholocaust9093 Жыл бұрын

"The" toilet? You mean yours else you would've specified. His stash, your house.

@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын

Be on the lookout for suspect driving a red car, a blue car, a yellow car, a white car, a black car, a silver car etc.

@krisfrederick5001 Жыл бұрын

Or a Vespa 👀

@sophierobinson2738 Жыл бұрын

They banned color-changing cars in CA in the 80s.

@roberttalada5196 Жыл бұрын

Be on the lookout for a color changing car

@Rose-inspirations Жыл бұрын

This is what I was thinking 😂

@davidparker8221 Жыл бұрын

Car seems to be smiling, frowning, smirking...I'm not really sure now...

@Lucius1958 Жыл бұрын

"Honey, we'll have to stop buying asparagus: the toilet just threatened me."

@anticharlatan5823 Жыл бұрын

The pee analyzer reminded me of the scene in "The Island" where Ewan McGregor's character is told to cut back on his sodium intake and is denied bacon for breakfast the following day.

@carlodave9 Жыл бұрын

Which is why I need one.

@joshDammmit Жыл бұрын

Such a shame that movie sucked

@joshDammmit Жыл бұрын

@@carlodave9 or, you could just stop eating bacon, and save yourself the cost of a pee analyzer.

@davidanderson_surrey_bc Жыл бұрын

There's a similar moment in The Last Emperor, only with, ah, more human-based analysis.

@Echo81Rumple83 Жыл бұрын

Actually, I could use something like that; been trying to find the perfect balance of enough water and sodium in my body so I'm not so thirsty or needing to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

@Keeper963 Жыл бұрын

CES is always the best time of the year for learning new ways technology should DEFINITELY NOT BE USED!

@ChristophBrinkmann Жыл бұрын

@@horacesheffield7367 Wrong, and over half of gamers are women. So there's that.

@nitro6002 Жыл бұрын

The point of CES is to push boundaries. Nearly everything you use today was seen as ridiculous, unnecessary or a waste of technology when it first came out. Pushing boundaries is how our world is formed, it may not be to your liking but that doesn't mean humanities future has to be limited by your shortsightedness.

@amberzec Жыл бұрын

A human muzzle..makes sense lol

@Centbair Жыл бұрын

Florida and tiny robots... Might end up seeing Florida-Man being chased by it, screaming "It wants to eat me"

@disorganizedorg Жыл бұрын

My money is on Florida Man eating the robot while on bath salts.

@XelionGraves Жыл бұрын

@@disorganizedorg Beat me to it XD

@Opus313 Жыл бұрын

I can see the BMW I Vision Dee being popular amongst professional getaway drivers...

@henrygvidonas9573 Жыл бұрын

Exactly my thought, too. The ideal vehicle for bank robbers, assassins, and... people who cheat on their spouse in their own neighbourhood.

@oneirishpoet Жыл бұрын

Or just your regular, everyday, douchebag BMW drivers (srsly I don't think I've ever seen any BMW that was not being driven by a total douchebag!)

@angrydoggy9170 Жыл бұрын

Sounds like a solid idea. I bet you can get a shitload of information from toilets.

@HyperactiveNeuron Жыл бұрын

At least the toilet could tell you if it's solid or not

@angrydoggy9170 Жыл бұрын

@@HyperactiveNeuron Less processed cheese more fibre buddy.

@jackya Жыл бұрын

Am I the only one who's first thought was "Oh maybe they'll fix the sidewalk for those food robots and then people in wheelchairs will finally be able to use them." guh. faith in humanity: -covfefe

@Echo81Rumple83 Жыл бұрын

That is the saddest yet spot-on observation I've read to date 😖

@tach5884 Жыл бұрын

My first thought was "Someone's gonna steal them or their stuff."

@LoPhatKao Жыл бұрын

now i want a terminator head coffee machine xD

@jmackultra Жыл бұрын

I thought the mutalk was a gag story then I goggled it and found out it was a real thing. Comedy just writes itself these days.

@GalGreen Жыл бұрын

No way you just phrased it as a "gag story" on accident.

@bafflezbiz Жыл бұрын

I see what you did there...

@adeadphish7931 Жыл бұрын

Sad thing is if you live in a house of gamers who stream or raid, that may be the best invention ever made while looking like a sex thing... Would the trade off be worth it....

@bafflezbiz Жыл бұрын

@@adeadphish7931 um, I hope you're not serious. First rule: function before fashion. Words to live by. Practical use trumps the "way you look". Second rule: you can [please] some of the people most of the time, and most of the people some of the time, but you can't [please] all of the people all of the time. (You can replace the word [please] with [fool], etc.) So don't worry about what other people think about the silly toy you are wearing on your face. If they have a negative opinion about it (beyond good-natured, comical teasing), they're clearly immature or repressed; so ignore them. And finally: there's nothing wrong with sex. But society frowns, even outlaws various add-ons, fetishes, and other particulars. Some may be warranted, others can be laughed at. The difference is up to you to decided for yourself. So grab your e-muzzle and have a blast!

@FussyPickles Жыл бұрын

don't know what you're on but that's potentially a game changer for a lot of people who wfh, depending on quality of the mic and stuff if they can get it to studio levels, you won't even need to sound proof for video recording

@artemiomarifosque7927 Жыл бұрын

Belated Happy 3 Kings , Stephen & Elvie Colbert!

@sepiae Жыл бұрын

04:19 Excellent for when you need a get-away car.

@disorganizedorg Жыл бұрын

I wonder how the vehicle registration will deal with that... "Color: any"?

@stevek4070 Жыл бұрын

the food delivery bots have a hard time traveling on anything but the cleanest of concretes so you might have to wait longer for your perfectly luke warm food.

@AlexanderSpear Жыл бұрын

"Honey! It's your turn to change the battery on the urine analyzer!"

@Merakis100 Жыл бұрын

"The toilet thinks we should get sushi" Comedy gold.

@bamboosho0t Жыл бұрын

I see what you did there… 😏 Well played.

@erichancock6815 Жыл бұрын

"If we eat Taco Bell again it's going to hire the pillow to kill me" would be in contention for that gold.

@NotSure-dv6kv Жыл бұрын

Last thing I need is the toilet telling me I drink too much.

@andrewstamford1988 Жыл бұрын

Or anything else for that matter.

@chrishei3111 Жыл бұрын

That dude literally eats shit so don't listen to him!

@Echo81Rumple83 Жыл бұрын

Or that I'm not drinking enough water, despite having to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes AFTER drinking said water. If it could tell me my sodium levels, then it wouldn't be a problem.

@rca-in-glasgow6781 Жыл бұрын

LMFAO The writing on this show deserves an award! Haha 😅

@Yngvarfo Жыл бұрын

This KZfaq channel is the only way to watch the show from Norway (barring nefarious methods, of course), so it's good that you put pretty much the entire show up here, with the playlist to string it all together. Well, mostly. For the Jan 16 playlist, this is the *first* clip, while the intro and the monologue are the third and fifth clips, respectively. The Hugh Jackman interview is scattered in between, all out of order, and the Mimi Webb song is missing.

@MrSknottykid Жыл бұрын

I’m onto you Hugh Jackman! I mean, “Huge Jacked Man?” It’s abit on the nose don’t you think? 😂

@toptims3248 Жыл бұрын

Can't wait to see people with the Mutalk and an Meta Quest 2 on their head at the same time

@davidslayer Жыл бұрын

this had me crying. 🤣😂😭😹😹

@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын

Golfi needs miles and miles of cable on the golf course and doubles as a bomb detonating robot.

@mattsessions27 Жыл бұрын

Useful, because after 18 holes of screwups, you're gonna want to blow shit up.

@janinemeier7201 Жыл бұрын

Hilarious segment.

@hughjackman3498 Жыл бұрын

Hello dear fan how are you doing ❤

@mightyone3737 Жыл бұрын

Sippy-cups Steve, give one a try! Grown ups call them 'travel mugs', I call it my 'I can drop this and it won't all spill' solution, it also helps prevent disaster if I snort-laugh while trying to drink. Also, I feel like that robo-pillow idea is interesting, but I can't help but think of people smothering their spouses due to snoring frustration when I hear the marketing, because if this pillow doesn't work it's going to end badly. Also also, if you have to tell a spouse/potential future spouse/adult child to stop playing a video game loudly when you're trying to sleep, you're probably justified in using the murder pillow to smother them, just saying. I feel a lot like when I stopped playing video games I lost most of my patience with video games/people that play them.

@HashknightGaming Жыл бұрын

What is wrong with a good video game not much different from a movie it's just interactive.

@robertpearson8546 Жыл бұрын

How long does the cable need to be for Golfi to play a round of golf?

@chelonnyamidas Жыл бұрын

The toilet thinks we should get sushi 🤣🤣🤣

@d.e.7467 Жыл бұрын

Those food robots are already on college campuses. I've seen them on Oregon State's webcams.

@thisbushnell2012 Жыл бұрын

the bathroom was once the ONLY SPOT in the house where one could have COMPLETE ISOLATION FROM INTRUSION. Cell phones made that 'optional'. This device makes it IMPOSSIBLE.

@dredgerivers7730 Жыл бұрын

Think how embarrassed you'll be to find out about the device by getting a KZfaq plaque for 100,000 views.

@KOKO-uu7yd Жыл бұрын

@@dredgerivers7730😳🤣🤣🤣

@kitcoffey7194 Жыл бұрын

simply don't buy it

@ChristophBrinkmann Жыл бұрын

You can choose not to buy it. Thus making this device also "'optional'" - why did you even put that in single quotes, anyway? Less importantly, it would be double quotes, not single, secondly, why set it apart with quotes at all?

@krisfrederick5001 Жыл бұрын

Fun Fact: The only thing Stephen loves more than Tech is Sport. 👍🏼

@kendalledwards2030 Жыл бұрын

The Lord of the Rings?

@YusufGinnah Жыл бұрын

😆🤣 I would've guessed _playing Joe Biden..._ 😎👍🏼

@GodTierComments Жыл бұрын

@@kendalledwards2030 Whoosh?

@chrishei3111 Жыл бұрын

@@GodTierComments this isn't reddit filth

@IIllIIllIl Жыл бұрын

The mutalk legitimately may be a game-changer in our house… but yeah they look funny

@TheMrVengeance Жыл бұрын

What's the point of them? Just get a good mic in a good position and you know.. don't yell at night?

@IIllIIllIl Жыл бұрын

@@TheMrVengeance I could explain it to you but I wouldn’t be able to understand it for you too.

@TheMrVengeance Жыл бұрын

@@IIllIIllIl Go ahead and explain.

@yogab Жыл бұрын

I think it would look awesome if you wore the Mutalk with an Oculus headset and headphones🙈🙉🙊

@Yogabba Жыл бұрын

I see what you did there!

@chicagoboy1106 Жыл бұрын

*Did Stephen just have a "cyborgasm" on late night and wipe it up on camera? Sorry, but the spilt coffee comes into question?🤣!*

@embreis2257 Жыл бұрын

let us hope Stephen's team picked only the most absurd and superfluous devices from CES. because if that is the best we could do then we are pretty much done

@gl15col Жыл бұрын

Yeah, these are far from the most absurd and superfluous devices...

@mwater_moon2865 Жыл бұрын

Oh? would you rather hear about the baby stroller that will follow along automatically while you carry your baby in your arms? (until it gets too close, too far, finds an obstacle, gets stolen, etc.)

@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын

There’s free food for you if you can open the Uber Eats Robot.

@michaelg3088 Жыл бұрын

The pee analyzer should be called "The Donald"...lol

@studio85amsterdam Жыл бұрын

Omg never laughed so much in a while 😂😂😂

@GodTierComments Жыл бұрын

Omg never did drugs in a while 😂😂😂

@studio85amsterdam Жыл бұрын

@@GodTierComments hahha yes i noticed after i wrote

@SpaceForceCommander Жыл бұрын

Of course Mutalk’s advertising says the gamer has a girlfriend so he needs their product! 😂

@mk1st Жыл бұрын

You could put some snacks in there and keep him really happy.

@DB-sm6eu Жыл бұрын

I think that was his mom yelling

@jackscratch785 Жыл бұрын

That was his mom.

@davidanderson_surrey_bc Жыл бұрын

Every porch pirate in Miami will be salivating over the prospect of unattended Uber Eats robots rolling down their sidewalk.

@DuranmanX Жыл бұрын

I always wanted a ballgag while gaming

@honkinbubbafulton8791 Жыл бұрын

I like this because it reminds me of the old Colbert Report segments.

@charlieee625 Жыл бұрын

This segment was particularly unhinged: from contract murder with a smart pillow to alligators humping autonomous food delivery robots. No notes.

@babybijou969 Жыл бұрын

“The toilet thinks we should have sushi.” 🤣🤣

@robertdouglas3417 Жыл бұрын

I need the Mutalk for my brother’s running commentary while watching Fox News and ballgames.

@C-Ra Жыл бұрын

Love this man!

@SKarthikeyan75 Жыл бұрын

The great Cori Wong!

@alanbevington4875 Жыл бұрын

So cool to see Corey here!!!

@Ulrich.Bierwisch Жыл бұрын

I try to imagine a group of young people in 5 years hanging around in a park - not looking together at the latest TikTok on the phone but having VR-headsets, headphones and a Mutalk thing on to hang out together. I try to imagine but it doesn't work. All I can imagine is that those companies are going to disappear much earlier. The youth will not hang out in the metaverse with isolation gear on.

@Greentrees60 Жыл бұрын

Actually, while the exact mutalk looks really stupid, the issue comes up a lot. Young folk live in tiny apartments, and the guys like to voice chat while they are gaming. Their partners/roommates often need quiet (especially since the games are often 11 pm to 3 am), and the guys would prefer to have a way of continuing the voice call without bothering their partner/roommate

@Ulrich.Bierwisch Жыл бұрын

@@Greentrees60 I think the whole problem of VR is, that it actually appeal to nerds sitting alone at home - mostly older guys with enough money for the equipment but not so much interesting for the advertising industry. Facebook/Meta tries to press this into the wrong market and this is bad for the companies that follow this direction. That Mutalk thing might be an idea to talk without bothering others but it looks terrible and I can't imagine wearing this for hours.

@Greentrees60 Жыл бұрын

@@Ulrich.Bierwisch firmly agreed - it looks SO stupid. It wouldn't surprise me if some alternative tech arises though, especially since so many people are now taking meetings from home

@jakubLonghorn Жыл бұрын

I wish I had that for my grandfather when he was screaming at the tv for hockey games was what I was thinking until he made it a sex thing 😂

@Echo81Rumple83 Жыл бұрын

I could've used it on dad when he was yelling at the six o'clock news 😆

@jakubLonghorn Жыл бұрын

@@Echo81Rumple83 Depends on which side he was on, doesn’t it? 😂

@dianewilliams1125 Жыл бұрын

The wink at the end! What!

@Money195625 Жыл бұрын

the gaming muzzle is killing me🤣🤣

@robo5013 Жыл бұрын

The pee disk attached to the front of the toilet is the excuse for missing that all men have been waiting for.

@1TrueGem Жыл бұрын

The mutak... Omg 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@kimbrey65 Жыл бұрын

The toilet just diagnosed a pregnancy too? Never know 🤔

@irishboymalloy Жыл бұрын

I love Corey Wong so much

@UberLummox Жыл бұрын

All this time I thought those people on the golf courses were already robots.

@billyshithead3139 Жыл бұрын

I'd like that toilet pee analyzer to detect THC, so I could have daily feedback on how long the occasional edible really stays in my system 🌿😁

@raymellon9572 Жыл бұрын

I can see those robots rolling down the street covered in flapping seagulls.

@MarkBarrett Жыл бұрын

I'd imagine, e-ink on car body panels, is likely to become a real thing. RGB on computers became a standard feature.

@666t Жыл бұрын

BMW iX Flow uses electronic ink as seen on Jay Leno's Garage KZfaq

@MarkBarrett Жыл бұрын

@@666t Good catch. I really do think this will make it to production cars. (Regardless of if I'd use it myself.)

@mk1st Жыл бұрын

“No judge, it couldn’t have been me speeding. My car is blue.”

@rparl Жыл бұрын

Too bad RBG didn't live to drive an RGB car. That would have been even better than the snail driving the Chrysler so someone could exclaim, Man! Look at that S car go!

@nobleharvey9935 Жыл бұрын

I saw the 'golfi' cords and thought about it. I'm thinking spaghetti golf? Cords everywhere? Nah. Next!

@0HARE Жыл бұрын

Top comedy, Stephen!

@stephanielight4161 Жыл бұрын

....... "but the toilet thinks we should get Sushi" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@YusufGinnah Жыл бұрын

I love _'Huge Ackman'_ No other wolverine could wolverine like his wolverine...

@narayanalee Жыл бұрын

hire the pillow to kill me !! AHHAHHAHAHHAH

@TWDay-sy6nq Жыл бұрын

Cory Wong is fantastic.

@JamesJones-mm2nm Жыл бұрын

That worth the wait to see! Damn TV!

@KrakenIsland64 Жыл бұрын

As long as I can hack the toilet buddy to always tell my spouse i need a burrito I'm happy with it.

@TenshiR Жыл бұрын

Before, during, or after the "deed"🤔

@dtvfan24 Жыл бұрын

1:41 - 1:48 , classic tech, oh those were the days when the download was so slow you can make a drink and it would still be downloading

@dannyburleigh1 Жыл бұрын

The results of OVERKILL TECHNOLOGY is sleepless nights and CRANKY DAYS!!~Danny Burleigh 2023.

@rita2715 Жыл бұрын

Finally, a solution to playing golf!

@d.b.1176 Жыл бұрын

“Game Gimp” lol😂

@enviromental2565 Жыл бұрын

I would actually get the Mutalk for my grandson if I thought he would wear it. When he is playing online games with his friends a lot of screaming at the top of his lungs seems to be involved. Right now we stick him in the hallway that goes to our addition that has doors on both ends. Still doesn't mute the yelling enough, lol.

@Bongofurry Жыл бұрын

Finally a topic Steph is expert. The toilet king !

@kevinfager. Жыл бұрын

Thanks BMW. Those brightly colored signs and lights that seemed to think they’d keep us safe were getting far too much of our attention. Lifesaver. And fun!

@leavingitblank9363 Жыл бұрын

"Fun fact: *_every_* pillow is a snore-silencing pillow..." Heheheh.

@kenek629 Жыл бұрын

"the pillow is listening" killed me 🤣

@sophistichistory4645 Жыл бұрын

You can see, with these "Cyborgasm" story transitions, Steven struggles not to say...... ..............."Meanwhile".

@cymbolichuman433 Жыл бұрын

I sleep alone so no one hears my snores....

@billyshithead3139 Жыл бұрын

...but, on the bright side, you don't have to hear theirs! 😴

@CaesarBro Жыл бұрын

Stephen had to clean the cyborgasm.

@phattman5559 Жыл бұрын

I miss John Batiste, please come back😢🙏

@DerekHoscorner Жыл бұрын

Stephen Colbert cyborgasm ces edition awesomeness job

@redcomet7024 Жыл бұрын

Funny, they made a human e-muzzles

@miyahollands6136 Жыл бұрын

So my pillow has now become I-pillow!

@tiffanyroberson9773 Жыл бұрын

Lmao the college I went to has those, it’s funny how often they get stuck and freak out if people are walking at them from different directions in sidewalk traffic 😂

@pg9193 Жыл бұрын

Whatever intern is editing these for KZfaq is doing a bang-up job! Anyway, we'll be right back with Hugh Jackma.....

@jtjtjt8390 Жыл бұрын

I like the podcasts bit lol I don't even know what channel this is on lol I've always just watched it on KZfaq lol

@autumbreeze1129 Жыл бұрын

The Mutalk, for anyone who wants to pretend they're eating from a house feeding bag, but don't want their friends and family to find out

@matenzo Жыл бұрын

Dear god at that gaming muzzle

@walterfristoe4643 Жыл бұрын

Rush Limbaugh used to have a segment on his show called "Gorbasms." 😆

@dennismoore2787 Жыл бұрын

you can't be comparing comedy chops between rush windbag and Steven

@amberandrews6842 Жыл бұрын

I want the coffee maker! That is amazing.

@lauriemacquanan2141 Жыл бұрын

Lol a golf robot... ànd oops don't step on the electric cord!!!

@brianjennings7644 Жыл бұрын

thanks..loading the podcast popped up "Late Night with Seth Meyers"..how nice.

@mecha-sheep7674 Жыл бұрын

That gator caught me, because I did not expect that.

@jakubLonghorn Жыл бұрын

Enough of the royal family! We fought a war to give them the finger and now we give them book royalties?!

@marct9942 Жыл бұрын

You're not really up on modern history, are you?

@jakubLonghorn Жыл бұрын

@@marct9942 😂You’re pathetic