He’s a Yale professor sir. Get it right.. 😂

Well, he lives in Russia now. So he'll probably get banned for doping.

Russian mongol these days

Seagal is a traitorous piece of shit. Russian Nazi lover.

Only after gunning down security guards and hospitality first, as usual

And seagal did both. Bruce Lee's Neighbor

😂

🤣🤣🤣

@@fathernature7874 Nah, man -- Jennifer Lawrence did both, and she was the first. She founded Jeet Kune Do. 😜

He created the same movie.

Men want to be him and women can't get enough of him.....😂😊

Lmaoooooooooo! ,,,,,,NOT

I laughed a little too long from this

Lmao 🤣 are u F ing serious?! Dude,,,,this is a joke right,we used to watch s.seagull movies JUST to clown them,geez those were good times ,I remember laughing so hard !!!

@mikegeld1280 kinda missed the joke there bud….

:Seagal voice: "You know what I like about these action movies? I keep getting older, and they stay the same age! Haahaaa, yes they do! Yes they do!" (Yes, you can also insert the ~actual~ line about "high school girls", with all the barely legal love interests... but the logic is applied to every movie as a whole and not just the ladies in it.)

To be fair that's when the best movies were made. Hollywood is dead now.

@@AR-ey1urif 80’s/90’s Seagal movies are the best ever, give me anything from dead Hollywood😂

@@Silverfox1982 Compared to modern, woke movies, Segal movies are absolute masterpieces of cinematography.

@@AR-ey1ur You almost had me for a second😂 Wait, are u serious?

This comment had me dying for like 5 minutes 🤣🤣🤣

Bruh kkkkk

💀

😂😂😂

Seagal helps feed thousands of starving children...........................by skipping his lunch!

- Confusius

😂

In Order to fight depression just watch seagal movie ❤it was a bad ass

Confuse-A-Cat

ahhahahahah

I agree with you as an Indian

Indian movie are ridiculous anyway

I'm not sure i want to see him dance

@@downeedles9249 You will never see him dance, that would be his body double.

​@@downeedles9249that'd be op😂😂😂

😂

Now I want to see it.

What movie was that from.. The cops throwing up 😂

Taken the piss

Steven Seagal has a very special set of skills, skills that he has acquired over a very long career, skills that make him a nightmare for people that like good cinema.

😂😂😂

And our souls.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 seriously tho Come on, what about the amazing piece of professional athleticism at 1:30? Were so lucky it was caught on film for posterity, it was one of them where was you moments in history......

Except Shitting his pants when Gene Labell Choked his ass 😂

@@chrislewis6393 Nope, Seagal denied it happened. Personally, I have no way of knowing what actually happened there. But Seagal has such a well-established reputation for being a world-class asshole that I like the story anyway.

Absolutely

He's so shallow he floats above his level of self awareness

@@samspurgeon4222 He is not shallow. He is just stupid

💯

🤣🤣🤣

🤣😂😆

That's not a beer gut, it's aikido

@@abigcupofwater Aki-gut, more like it.

😂😂

which was not too bad for him as fighting burns some calories.

Steven Seagal never had a heart attack, heart attack have Steven Seagal.

Losing the fight it seems…

He like the Jamie Oliver of making movie

Good catch! hahaha

He has enouh mass to bend the space-time.

I rewinded that scene so many times laughing so hard 🤣

Yeah... I saw that too. I like to imagine them setting up the scene, and one of the camera guys trying to explain the geometry of the shot to Seagal. Realism? Fckit.

Clearly the train tracks cross at that point 😂😂

We DO, and his IS

@@SupremacyGamesYT you do and he is not

I know man this guy is a scream, his critiques are about a thousand times better than the Steven Seagal movie and shorter too lol...

Steven Seagal knows Victoria's secret.

He was a jerk when he was young. Now he looks fat and super thick in the face. He is not likeable. If it wasn't for his martial arts training, he would have never made it in Hollywood.

He probably named it because it sounded cool

😂😂😂

You have no idea lol his ego is so big he doesn't even know he exist only his hunger let's him know he's a beast

😂

🤣🤣

Exactly this is sooo boring and repetitive 😂🤣

Yeah, it's a thing in every goddamn movie from Godfather to Silence of the Lambs.

That's how most people die.....or slipping on a banana peel and falling in front of a train...the 2nd most common cause of death..

Sounds exactly like Norman Jayden in Heavy Rain

It was just missing the Wilhelm Scream

Hilarious to think that probably these reviews have a better rating than the movies themselves lol

@@saia24 this is the only reason people may choose to buy the steaming pile of shit that are Seagal movies.

Yes please ! More Seagal films.

ive literally seen more segall movie reviews than i have marvel movie phases…

For real. I'm trying to pace myself because I don't want to r7n out of movies.

The magic boobies state you are correct…

Because his 1st movie was the worst in the world & each subsequent one is worse than the previous one so the title moves on. They were all the worst movie at some point in time.

@@dmc6262 the worst movie in the world, so far.

@@dmc6262No, they're all individually tied for the title "worst movie ever"

The asshole says dozens of people are being paid to denigrate him.

Probably why he moved to Russia. So he could be closer to Putin.

Ya but the fact is all these movies get made.

If you take 60 milion from the mafia in court you would be too.

you should meet my mom...

@@wilfredoUbatuba I'll meet your mum. How much does she charge?

😂😂😂

Literally fucking lost it at that part

I spit my fish tacos out at that part

Had to pause the video at that point to recollect.

Consider ourselves lucky. The scene could have been a LOT worse. It could have been Seagal pulling down his pants and... well you fill in the rest.

😅😅

Best thing ive read in ages 🤣🤣😭😭🤣😭

😂😂

This is *GOLD*

🤜

I'm no international legal expert but I'm guessing that sort of thing might get him in trouble with the Thailand authorities, unless there's a reciprocal agreement that each other's security forces can execute each other's service workers.

@@strelokstalker212that was just seagals excuse

@@SofaKingShit in Thailand he's probably jailed in solitary until US government bangs their head on the wall in frustration and gives some big shot drug dealer or arms trader in exchange... like look at Britney Griner, they had to free the Lord of War prototype dude for a goddamn idiot who thought moving into an extreme-right-wing dictatorship for a job while being a black lesbian AND taking cannabis with her was a good idea. And that's minor offense (though admittedly, Thailand is 100 times more free than russia), but you can see stories of people trapped abroad for drug smuggling (Thailand included) and it's not fun for them. An ordinary person would face hell for murder like that but actual special forces member doing this would warrant an international scandal and highly publicized prisoner exchange.

​@@KasumiRINA Right wing dictatorship? You mean America?

​@@cliff311976i think right wing or ultranationalism is better than communism 😁

Plus he gave us the greatest excuse to stare at boobies. Hun I had to look at her boobs!! I had to decode a message.

Fortunately, I don't think there's a chance in hell that he'd want anyone to know what he actually looks like under that circus tent he calls a shirt.

Dude, he seems like the type to 69 and have the lady on bottom. Like an animal lol

I genuinely wish he let down his ponytail and did full penetration

@@CerberusLives 😁😆😄😅🤣😂

"Nah, we good"

@@djangomatador9442 Just imagine, how stupid the cut out scenes have to be, when a "kill by a tomato" he Steven answers with "nah, , we good" xD ... i would love to see a compilation of cut out scenes from Seagulls movies xD

Ahaha

He stole the movie. XD He was the real hero.

Of course he has to carve a swath through Thailand, Sagat and Bison are there

She knew the rule.. A way to a man's ❤️ is through his stomach..🍔💩👍

I would like this comment but then it would no longer be the holy 69

@@danielwilliams7562 Its now 109 likes anyway - so you can like it ;)

~ And somehow, that's the best writing of Seagal's career.

The only time he does get hit was by some random voodoo guy that was introduced 5 minutes before the end of the movie, but even then, voodoo guy is randomly killed off by chanting Buddhist monks 😂

I'm in Love with a stripper😂

Bro im dead💀💀

And you know damn well he let out a lil toot when he did the roll

Lmfao

😂😂😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣

He’s still wealthy and doesn’t seem to care what others think. Talk about him negatively or positively, people still talk about him. He’s chilling I’m sure.

he's still entertaining millions of people, as you can see. surely a rapist/pedo/Hitler would be a better comparison.

I'd love be a multi millionaire starring in my own action movies (no matter how cheesy and ridiculous) and banging all these roasties for a chance to be a movie star

awww thank you

Under Siege copied Die Hard. Although it was his biggest earner....Hard to Kill was his best movie

@@FuShengAlex Personally, I love Marked for Death. Those Jamaican gangsters were badass.

Under Siege wasn't even that good though. Most movies I re-watch at some point in my life. I've never re-visited that one.

The two things I remember about Under Siege is the knife fight with Tommy Lee Jones and Erica Eleniak popping out of a cake...naked...I think 🤔

@@DerMeister821 no, I quite liked Under Siege and it had much better production values than most of his films. Also, another genius move, his acting looks much better than normal because the other stars are as one dimensional as him - Gary Busey can only play Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones can only play Tommy Lee Jones

Same here

Hope you're doing better. 🖖

And a Beast of a belly.

Ha

Lmao

I loved when the Taxi guy got killed for no reason

​​@@SILOPshuvambanerjeeHe didn't wanna pay the driver

i was lost at those magic boobs who reveals secrets

He looked like he was hungry rather than in pain!

@@SILOPshuvambanerjee and how nobody in that universe cares about all the dead bodies left behind

Hope you’re not drinking or eating when you hear the greatest words Magic Boobies

Totally believable. I've gone where the magic boobies have told me in Thailand many times! 🤣🤣🤣

Ryu was actually the best part of this farce 😂

"Roo" near the end was definitely the biggest surprise 😂

Christian Bale in Machinist is nothing compared to Seagals levels of commitment!

He has no time to workout or take care of himself because he's so busy practicing Bullshido for us and his movies. 😭

@@MrPobanz I heard seagal ate bale on his way to the buffet..

It's because he just films random clips at various times which then end up edited together into an incoherent straight-to-video movie. So in one scene he's gained a sun tan and 10kg since the previous scene.

It's ok, Steven is just using his chi to strategically shift his mounds of protective aikido fat to different parts of his body for maximum effect.

What would've been more realistic is explaining he had a heart attack from eating too much nachos.

@@CDPW Indeed, this is also very probable. Poor man, I started to feel sorry for him. He should rather have used a double, as always.

Space followed the same trend in his review of Absolution.

Calculon can learn from Seagal.

Old joke, new idiots, right? 🤣

😂😂 😂😂😂 epic 👍👍👍👍

😅😂😂😂

Please tell me im not the only one who had seagals same facial expression flash in their head while reading every emotion. 😂😂😂

KZfaq has become total garbage. Maybe you could upload to Odyssee as well?

I have a strong opinion on this, but I can't tell you.

This is the same video that was re-uploaded before? Seagal movies are so similar I really can't tell which is which.

@@deviltronix Naaa if they said they are not allowed to say it imply court orders, not saying Space Ice is getting sue but maybe the film was involved in a suit, just my guess.

You blurred that swimmer’s buttcrack in the beginning. I remember thirsting over her. Our culture is so upside-down. Exploding bodies, no problem. Buttcrack, demonetized.

I would love to have that kind of confidence.

THAT would be amazing.

Actually Konami released a fighting game on the PS1 called Kensei : Sacred Fist. One of the playable characters bares a close resemblance to Mr Seagal.

@@brendonculhane7321 now I have to find this game.

Sifu pc community already made a mod for that. One of his special focus attacks calls in a body double when the player needs to do some high flying gymnastics work. No guns, it's just kung fu from the base game.

@@brendonculhane7321 Douglas Anderson looks incredibly like 1990s Steven Seagal.

Legends had it, that seagal movies have so much seagal stunt doubles in it, than marvel movies CGI-artists in them.

also one of the most athletic aswell as intelligent people on the planet

Wow. That much?🤨😂🙈

And that is the true secret of Segal..... Every one complains his movies are pure $hit, but they are released overseas and Segal gets Paid again and again lol

@@The_Original_Brad_Miller He's the face of a money laundering front. He's paid to make it all seem legit.

That was golden

I second this guys comment. Never stop because these are priceless.

He'll run out of movies eventually, but I still hope he finds other horrible movies to review.

Man I swear, this shit is way too funny.

@@BewareTheLilyOfTheValley I see TV series in the near future then, and possibly, followed by video games and their storylines and how F'd up some can be. :P

i had the exact same feeling...it made me laugh....and relax and see the the absurdity in this world

How about blessing Space Ice too 😃

Amem, my brother.

Belly of the beast, the most appropriate title for a Seagal movie I've ever seen.

“Oh, for f**ks sake, Seagal!” 😂😂😂

Three different ways to kill him, but the second one is the most correct.

Ikr 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣