"Obsessing over a man who offers you the bare minimum is like obsessing over being broke when you could be rich" I needed to hear that

Since being a child I had 'daddy issues' (emotional & physical violence) and I promised myself that no other man would treat me as my father did, I won't accept such trash treatment from no man, I don't care if he's handsome or not. Now I only get to know people that are treating me like a literal princess, nothing matters more than the mindset you hold, trust me besties.

Never underestimate the power of lists... the past year i had something with a classmate from college who didn't want to have anything serious with me but i was so attached. when i had enough suffering i made a list of all the bad things he did to me, and literally when i finished the list, i didn't feel anything for him, it helped so much.

exactly. if you don’t even respect yourself, they will never, ever, respect you themselves. this video came at the perfect time.

because of this video i blocked my narcissist "boyfriend" on everything. i stayed with him only because i loved him and because of the memories but i never realized my worth, how much he was blocking me from improving myself and my life and how badly he actually treated me. im convinced that his good side only existed in my imagination and past. thank you

My first situationship happened this year. He ghosted me once and he came back with “I was busy with work” and I was like “okay cool”. The next thing that happened to me because he came back was I started doubting myself and feeling worthless out of nowhere. I instantly prayed to God to get rid of toxic people in my life. He left. With no explanation at all. And it made sense to me. He ghosted me after I made clear to him that we need boundaries. He left after I said to him he needs to put actions to his words. My friends asked why I wouldn’t contact him again asking for an explanation and I said “I don’t need his explanation. He doesn’t need to say anything else. He proved his point.”

She's like the big sister I have never had. I needed to hear this.

alessia is absolutely correct, though attachment makes it harder to detach from such toxic relationships or friendships, it's crucial to understand sometimes our brain gets addicted to pain and yes this exists if your standards aren't high enough, you'll always experience attachment and attract trash. instead, raise your standards-if not now, then maybe someday there'll be someone who truly loves you. fall in love with yourself and heal and you'll automatically start attracting healed friendship and love life. if you're wounded, you'll always have wounded connections.

Damn the "I'm actually doing charity work " got me 😂😂

As someone who got stuck with a narcissist. Thank you for this video. I never use to disrespect myself, and use to be so strong minded and blunt - then lost myself (been a broken record) since being betrayed by friends. This is where I fell victim to a narcissist who I’m out of their league; mind you. Why? You said it, hurts my ego - self-esteem gone, always thinking I’m the monster after being broken by the friends. Which folded me as people pleaser. 2024 is a new start, the trash needs to be taken out. My goal is to ghost the narcissist and I hope karma whack a moles them. I deserve so much better; and not a loser. Not to mention - I never use to settle for loser behaviour and I need to rid myself of the people pleaser mold that bounds me. I owe nobody anything. Needed this video.

I just saw her on Pinterest and searched and then boom here I'm watching the first video which feels like she knows my whole life :,)

Me feeling uneasy and Alessia just casually dropping a video to lead me just explains that we are connected 🤞🏻

When you let go of what's not meant for you, you open the doors for the best thing to come to you.

I have found comfort in Alessia's words and especially me being a gay boy it's so difficult to find a boy who is really interested in you beyond the physical attraction, my whole adolescence is basically summarized on myself being deluded by the first guy who showed me affection and "love", at the end I ended brokenhearted and hopeless, Now I have found all of these advices of setting standars for yourself and I have worked on me during this whole year, I can proundly say that I do not get attach myself very easily in whoever shows me attention, no more and that I have tried to set realistic and basic standars, but people, specifically gay people says that it is absurd to set standars bc in that way i'm gonna remain single, but at this point idgf, I want for me better, I want to be able of getting something real if that doesn't happen would be better to remain single but I don't want to disrespect myself by accepting just another situationship more. 🍂🌼

i just watched almost the whole video sis and today while journaling i included the point of not allowing people to drain me this year and even from today. Because i have some friends who say they really love me and praise me like a Goddess and call me an angel but after meeting them and talking to them i feel so drained and negative. Thank you for ur video. May god bless you

I was having double thoughts on texting my ex the other day, this video is literally a sign!! I love you

Thank you so much for this, Alessia 😭 I invested so much time and energy into my crush who isnt even sure if he likes me and I've been confused on how to handle that. Even though this isn't exactly a toxic situation for me, I don't see the point in staying the same. If someone isn't sure about you, they simply don't deserve you. I'm glad I made it here before 2024 for a brand new start. I love your content always 💖

They're soo many lost girls who endure so much pain and when they listen to you i feel they can be guided well❤

This girl's message is GOLD 🎉🎉🎉🎉. Thank you!

It has been 2 years already and i "moved on" from this one guy that didn't even want me, but lately i've started to miss him again and you posted this. Thank you soooo much❤

“The same lesson just with different faces” that one hit home because all my relationships were the same

this is exactly what i needed to hear post my breakup few months ago and even though i have 97 percent healed from it im still so so grateful for your channel and this video and how much impact you potentially have and will continue to make on those going through healing , thank u so much love ❤

''"The same lesson just with different faces''"

She literally describes my toxic man. God bless you I needed to hear this. You are an angel

Im so impressed. Every single time I need an answer it's like God sent you. I always get an answer of you. Thank you Alessia, for answering all of my questions and helping me go through all of this

you, your videos and your scoldings are healing people across the globe .💗

This is exactly what I needed. I’m just starting to get over my break up and after watching this video I’m completely over him. God bless your heart!❤

I fell in love with you for the 100th time today! ❤ You are so articulate and say genuine facts that a person actually needs to hear. You are helping so many women out there, I hope u have a wonderful year ahead!! ❤

thankyousomuch! exactly what i needed. thank you for reminding me that i can do so much better, and that telling me to let go of them/him for good. i've been suffering from disrespecting myself for months! all i want is to heal and i found this very video! you helped me a lot!

ALESSIA you are God sent!! I was praying about this exact situation today and yesterday and here you are!! I cant thank you enough. I wish i could give you money.God bless you beauty!!

Thankyou So Much Alessia this video was much needed. Just because I have no friends as of now I became desperate and started to reach out to my toxic friends. But now I'll not repeat it at any cost. I'll see your this video whenever I catch myself doing this thing again ❤❤❤

Thank you so much for opening my eyes. I am an extremely people pleaser that everyday is struggling because of receiving toxic behaviour from other people. I’ve been watching a lot of videos but you literally saved me. May god bless you 💕💕💕💕

I’m 3 min in & I just- 😭 I never thought I was going to get called out like that

I have said this exactly to him! I'm feeling really good now! Allhumdulilah Thank you for making this video❤

Posted right on time before new year. I'm so glad I found your channel this year Queen!!😍

You’re such an inspiration/blessing thank you so much love!!! ❤️❤️❤️

You’re so real for this ❤ thank you, needed to hear the harsh truth

Alessia, Thank you, I love that how respectful and Direct you are, literally you are so respectful and not also sugarcoating anything. You are Litrally Doing your Profession sooo Beautifully, i just wish that one day I will also find something I love. You are my mentor

This video really resonated with what I’m going through right now. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into making this! You’re like the best friend to all of us, that we all wish we had. This video was more so tough love, but a lot of the content was what I needed to hear to be brought back to reality.

I'm so proud of myself i am finally standing up for myself I'm making progress I'm taking care of myself and am really really happy...i want to thank you as well I've learned so many things through your channel love you

Me watching this while crying in period pain...just some 💫 little gifts 💫 of god for being a woman...Anyways thank you Alessia for always being there for me as always and reminding me how precious I am even in the worst days. Love you so much ♡

2:39 OMG I FEEL SO ATTACKED CUZ THATS HIM 😭😭 I just ended my 6 months relationship 1 week ago, respectfuly, finally realizing i’m not getting what i want anymore. And now i understand why i still couldn’t let go of him no matter what, even though i knew so well that i’ve made the right decision. Right, it’s my ego. And I relate every word you say. Thank you so much for your timing this video literally gave me a new vision ❤

I love your direct speech & words 😁 on the point ! I celebrate you 🫶🏻

thankyou...for all the wisdom ❤❤

i so wish these videos were available on spotify in podcast format omg

The last line was everything i needed to hear. I still was feeling like the power wasn't mine because i couldn't stop thinking about that situation i put an end to

I was thinking all night about the guy who lied to and ghosted me then I see this when I wake up..this is a truly a sign!!

this is literally me with all my friends and female cousins. I'm at my limit too. I used to belive "why are these woman on youtube teaching how a man should treat you?" it was so obvious to me, but when i start to watch my cousins and friend's tiktoks and began to have deep conversations with them...what it's happening to women these days?

it’s like she feels what we needs and i’m convinced she has the ability to do so

I so needed this! Thank you power girl❤

Thank you so much Alessia 💗💗 your video came at the perfect time and i immediately knew what to do, i really wanted to cut this one friend off that literally got closer to my ex bsf after knowing all the disrespect and bullying i went through because of her and she also still talks to this guy that i liked who literally treated me like shit and played with my feelings, it felt so draining talking to her i'm so glad i finally had the courage to walk away from her.

omg i love your content so much!! your videos has really helped me so far this year! i love you so much and thank you for sharing your intelligence ☺️🫶🏻🫶🏻

Alessia i am literally so so proud of you, how you are helping so many people around the world by giving them this wake up call that they need to hear.Literally, you are an angel sent to this earth and you are my role model and my mentor. Sending you so much love from the depths of my heart❤

You posting so frequently genuinely makes me so happy beyong any words😭love you so much,you made my year and life better,thank you💖

I NEEDED this video right now and right here. THANK YOU.

Omg, I wanna say the really big "THANK YOU" cause you just opened my eyes. I'm not gonna cry and suffer anymore because of the guy who treated me like a shit. I was even laughing during that video cause I realized how stupid I was. It's time to move on and leave him in my past. I deserve the best. Thank you so much, wish you all the best, ilu ❤

The manifestation part was so important and on point am glad you said that 😂🎉 happy new year loves ❤

I appreciate the reminder. Thank you, genuinely.

I love how you post whenever it's important for me thank you truly

Alessia I love you so much 😭you actually inspire me and you made me start chasing my dreams thank you so much ❤

This is exactly what I've been through its like a beating but it's worth it thankyou

your videos really help me so much! tysm queen

I needed this, Thank youu

girl thank youuu a good reminder is always welcomed !!

You just give me a reality check and I'm so grateful for it🙏🙏🙏

I needed this so bad today thank you sister ❤❤❤

I love seeing you getting more and more comfortable in front of the camera. Your videos are very strong and powerful, but also as if a good friend is giving you advice. Also, your hair looks super healthy and beautiful. Maybe you can give us some advice about that one day. Much love

Thank you so much Alessia! I’m trying to heal from my ex boyfriend and this video helped me realise that i should let him go and don’t give him space to come back into my life❤️. I’m learning so much from you already and I love you!!

You really are a beautiful human being outside & inside 🤍

Thank you! I needed this ✨️💗

thank you so much i needed this. happy new year

Thanks for this. I love your intuition

You are literally doing god’s work. Loads of love and blessing for you to have the best year ever ahead ❤

perfect timing! i really needed to hear this

I wish you dropped this when i was going through it last year with this guy who dropped me the first so there wouldn't have been a 2nd time of me finding him and begging him to take me back as a friend 💀 better late then never. Happy new year, queen!! 💙

Thank you I really needed this I love you sis

THIS IS WHAT I need to hear right now🥲 every words you said is like a slap to me. 😅 THANK YOU QUEEN👸 💗💗💗

thank you for being with us and helping us, to be honest, I really needed you in my life❤

Reinacting trauma because it is stuck in the nervous system and subconscious mind. When traumatized women are not aware of that trauma they will always let such toxic men disrespect them because she is in survival mode and is desperate for his approval. she created this fantasy in her head of the perfect relationship with him just like she daydreamed in her childhood to escape reality when her mother was an alcoholic and emotionally explosive and dad became more and more unavailable. Ending that trauma bond cycle begins with realizing and accepting that you have been neglected, shamed, punished, made feel stupid, traumatized as a child and that you now want to inform yourself on healing techniques (with books for example : "How to Be the Love You Seek", "The body keeps the score") or therapy.

gagged us all🤣 thank you girl! and a happy new year!!

Hi Alessia,i really love your videos, tanks for helping me to be the best version of myself. Love you from Morocco ❤

People who obesses over manifesting men who don't even like them will always confuse me. Manifest a man who respects you

YOU ARE A BLESSING 🙌 🙏

I really needed this❤❤ Thank you Alessia💖

i wish i had this channel when i was younger because i was really bad at self control when it comes to relationships

Omg. I love your videos. I actually can't live without your videos ahhhhh may god bless you my dear

Thank you so much Alicia, i just broke up with my boyfriend and i needed to hear this so much

She’s literally a mother figure to me

Trauma bonds really ruin lives.

What a good way to end 2023, thank you for this video ✨️❤

Omg i literally love you mother 😭🛐💓

I wish that I found this earlier, I would’ve needed it sm! I would had broken up w my ex bf wayyyyy earlier

This is all trauma bonding and the way people have normalized getting only the bare minimum these days and loving man that are broke and dusty. Thank you for healing generations of women ❤❤

Thank you for this ❤

Perfect timing thank you ❤

I needed this video ❤

Hi Alessia, I just want to thank you today for making me realise, that being honest with my friends is the best opinion. I was scared that i would hurt them if i told them what i really think.. now i know how wrong i was. Anyway, thank you for every video you made so far (and everything you shared with us), also for helping us to become the best version of ourselves. - love you, Sierra

Thank u sm Alessia for taking the time to sit down and put some common sense into people. May Allah make this new year and next the most blessed & joyful year for you🤍🤍

Thank you for this video Alessia 💜

Alessia I just want to say this, the moment my toxic ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I saw your 'stop glorifying the bare minimum' video. And I kid you not, that video CHANGED my life PERMANENTLY. Like- I did not expect a year after our break up I would come to love myself, cut off negative leeches THAT easily, heal my anxieties, and literally be super duper blessed and closer to God. Tysm omg I can't thank you enough for starting a yt channel.. you may not know me personally but the impact you and the other youtubers I watch have on my life will forever be remembered. ❤ TYSMM ILYSM 😚❤