“Don't waste your time with explanations: people only hear what they want to hear.” ― Paulo Coelho

“I am young, hot, and rich. I can do whatever I want.” This is the vibe. ❤

This quote has been attributed to many people, so I don’t know who originally said it, but it is one of my favorites. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.“ (BTW, I am from a different generation, and I get it.) ❤️

"Where do you see yourself in 10 years" my answer has always bee something along the lines of "hopefully alive somewhere. Preferably happy and motivated"

Kelly should have been in the Barbie movie. She lives the traits that Barbie taught us. We have the opportunity to do whatever we want and we should be active in seizing those opportunities.

unlearning a lot of bad habits, including overexplaining. sometimes the truth doesn't matter when people's minds are made up. and that's on them. save yourselves the trouble and effort.

Im 26 and had this realization just this year, all by myself, the hard way. Lol Having a narcissist father, you learn that some people just listen to respond, not to understand. And changing someone else's mind is not your job.

As a people pleaser type person I always feel like I need to explain myself. I’m going to try now to give people as straight forward answers as possible. If someone misunderstands me that’s not my problem

“I don’t want to feel like I can’t travel somewhere because of my skin” amen ma’am.

As probably one of the few boomers on the channel, I like your response about not having to think about what you're going to do in 10 years or 30. In my early 20s I thought I had it all planned out. Decades later, none of what I thought would happen has come to pass; having to do it and having a way to find happiness along the path as you're aging is way more important in the long run. You keep doing whatever you want to do.

I love this! This video resonates with me as a childfree BW. People can’t seem to wrap their head around it! My time is precious & I have no time to explain my personal choice. I can’t be bothered with people who are committed to purposely misunderstanding me or trying to place me in this stereotypical box they think I should fit in because of their preconceived notions of me.

I’m tired of explaining myself to people who clearly have underlying perceptions of me, based on what other people have told them. I’m tired of explaining myself to those who invalidate my feelings. I don’t need to explain and I validate Myself!

Being misunderstood is maddening, however most people listen to respond, not to understand. Thank you for this video, it came at the RIGHT time😊

What do you do for a living Kelly: I live 🥰 Me: I’m funemployed ✨💖

I enjoy their confusion, their curiosity, & their lack of understanding.I feel empowered that I get to actively choose my life and live it how I want , and they simply cant comprehend that. I feel pride and a confidence boost in these interactions. And if they are interested just to judge, I am reminded they're one of those people who hate their job and compete with others to feel better and I think they can sense me judging them for judging me.

Sometimes telling your side of the story is actually self-sabotage. I always say that the things you say about yourself are infinitely more valuable than what others say about you,, because they can be weaponised against you under the guise of "well, that's what she said." Let them wonder. Your explanation is a foundation - let them try to fill in the gaps themselves before their argument eventually falls because a wall can't stand without a foundation.

Same kelly! I follow your other channel. Im a black housewife with no kids and this is literally bliss. I love using my free time for my hubby, friends and family. Idk what the future holds regarding work going back to work but this is a beautiful choice for me currently. I graduated from a top 20 university and was a commercial property manager for years but i have never felt more accomplish and at peace then now. It makes people uncomfortable to see black women rest. Keep resting and traveling and enjoying this life, you only get one shot!

Just turned 30 and I can def say that not caring about what other ppl think about you is revolutionary. Glad to be here now. Let’s go class 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I’ve always felt rude to give short answers to people. But I also don’t like sharing information about myself that they don’t need to know. So you’ve started this line of reasons for me to think. Btw I’ve just discovered your channel. Thanks teacher 👩🏾‍🏫

The less information u give them about your life(my mother n law)the more it makes their skin crawl with hatred!❤

6:32 ''these people that are judging you , in your life they are doing this because they are having a hard time putting you, fitting you into their narrative'' That is the most honest shit I had heard this entire freaking week I'm gonna start doing what your doing. thx

So I completed the video, took my notes, said the mantra and I got this lesson out of it: WE ALL HAVE FREE WILL. That's it, that's the MAIN IDEA! Thank you once again Prof. Stamps, good lecture.

It’s so refreshing to hear someone say this out loud. I would alway try to explain to friends how people try to size you up. As an introvert i felt like people sometimes start conversations with me because i was never willing to give up personal info so freely. When you do share it’s followed by a why and judgment. Personally, when this happens i choose to not interact with that person again. Control the controllable 🎉

"I don't know what it's like to feel like I don't have infinite possibilities in this world" 🙌🏾

People will always hate because they wish they were in your shoes in one way or another, you have something they don’t. This resonates with me hella right now because I want to make this KZfaq/content creation my job and everyone else puts their fears on me. We have ONE life 🖤

As an older Black American woman, you are on the right track- open minded, intelligent, beautiful, God loving , creative, talented. Don’t listen to the haters. And let a rich man find you so you can have some beautiful babies- don’t forget

I really stood up and raised my hand. LOL. Being a student at Stampede University is an honor. Haha. Seriously though, your messages are so needed. Thank you.

Kelly, as a way of understanding the older guy in the supermarket; I too am an older male who watches your channel/show. Coming from a similar cultural context as you....I "get it" about your journey. What you might not get is that within and without the older experience is that the programming is readily taken to by many....it never did with me, so I understand /understood your take of things when you described it. Practically and personally speaking, you have a great sense of self and your spidey-sense was probably correct about getting away from this person. But this guy grew up thinking the robotic existence of having a house, white picket fence, 2.3 children, living in "good /right" neighborhoods...save till retirement...then kick the bucket.... Is totally embedded in the essence of his being. Then, here you come, totally turning over the paradigms he's religiously believed in all his life. If anything take this away from your interaction with him....you / your life / your lifestyle ...has given him a new view on the possibilities of his own existence and what it could/ can /might be(come). Keep on trucking, my Erstwhile Sprite....best regards as always.

I will forever answer the "what do you do for a living" question with "i live". amazing. thank you. i also needed this video very badly.

My main goal is to be as unbothered as Kelly Stamps!

I’m an ambivert too, in between introvert and extrovert. I do agree with not trying to make someone understand you. People have to be willing to be misunderstood in order to pursue the things they truly want. Many of us have to accept the fact that even family will not understand. There are so many stories of peoples children doing things that disappoint their parents at first like dropping out, but that drop out ended up being the answer to the family’s prayers. Be willing to be misunderstood and accept the fact not everyone is going to understand.

Exactly! People ask what do you do for a living in order to compare their life to yours, in order to figure out how much money you make and judge you based on that. I was at a party a few months back and a girl approached me, started making chit chat and suddenly asks "how much money do you make?" 🙃

I’m not religious myself, but your ability to live unapologetically in your own ethics and principles inspires me!! :) love your videos, as always

Agree that we shouldn't have to over explain ourselves, especially to acquaintances or strangers who feel like they are owed an answer. I like your short replies. It must be jarring to have strangers approach you, act like they know you, and ask any type of question. I guess you get better at handling those situations with practice.

amen!! thank you queen professor stamps, you have no idea how much I needed to hear this as of your assignment asked: I am tired of explaining myself about my educational background, when people see a hot and pretty and Latina girl like me they don’t expect much academically and it bothers me that some people feel like I have to prove myself academically to “sound smart” to them, I don’t have to prove myself to you ! I proved myself to harvard already !! it’s exhausting to see in society how “being smart” it’s associated to degrees, it’s completely flawed - and it’s exhausting to see how “looking good” and “being smart” are banished to be present at the same time apparently love your videos , keep providing lectures please ! ✨

Those comments you mentioned remind me so much of coworkers I’ve dealt with in the past and now-judgements about school, where I live, what I do, etc. it’s like these people pry to lift themselves up, but like you said they’re shackled and I laughed so hard at your clap back. As an artist who has a full time design job, I get that same annoying question and when I explain how I wanna do my own thing people lose their minds. I’ve had to cut out people who I thought were my friends because of this, but you’re right. They’re trying to size us up because our sense of not giving a f scares them. There’s power in not caring and having self worth/confidence to travel your own path and instead of wanting to be like you they punch down. Your videos always come at the best time and I love your passion and fearless attitude!

Kelly, I’m in my 40s now. I tried to be like you in my younger years but couldn’t figure out my path to success for a long time. In some sense, I’m still figuring it out, but I’m extremely close to getting to my happy place. You are miles ahead of most people in your thinking and I know you know that. F the haters, they are just jealous! ILYSM and thank you for being you and sharing your ongoing story of bliss and success!

I'm 59 and you ARE inspiring to me! Do what you want, when you want and how you want 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Im tired of explaining to people that i don't want to live to work. I want to buy my time and freedom back and just exist. Be a happy little free spirit and do whatever i like

I love what you said about how you can do anything. In the world, you constantly hear people trying to place limitations on you. I find that this happens because people want to hold you back from reaching your full potential 🤷🏻‍♀️

Man, I needed this. Whenever I find myself explaining myself to people (usually strangers?), it feels like all the life and joy is zapped right out of me. I got plans, yeah, but sometimes I wanna keep the lid on them so that they are still exciting and fresh TO ME. If they really wanna know what I'm doing, they can watch me.

I’ve learned that lesson already as I’ve gotten older. You’re right, Kelly! 👍🏻

I noticed when I stopped explaining what I choose to do with my life.....I truly realized how FREE I am. Living unapologetic and feeling free....can't get any better than that💟

I’m tired of explaining why I’m homeschooling my child, who was once in a private school. I believe that it’s the best situation for her and that’s the end of the story!

Hearing you say "Some people are committed to NOT understanding you," is so valuable. I often struggle with wording myself in a way that makes sense to others, but when I hear something that resonates as well as that does, I can't help but take note. TY for sharing your insights, I hope to better understand myself and others as well as you have. And continue to live well, love, and strive for better for the betterment of our global community. Have a beautiful day!

this has made me realise that i probably subconsciously judge people’s life decisions a lot and provoke them to over explaining this is just because i feel the need to over explain and i’m insecure about my life decisions i will now let people do what they want to do, i don’t have to understand it, if it has nothing to do with me

I'm tired of explaining to people that I'm not where I was anymore, and I really don't care to go back. Thank you Professor Stamps, this is my fav class.

i have unlocked the super power of not caring and it has changed my life!

Love your energy

I find that it’s always hard for some people to understand that they don’t need to understand if they can’t respect the choices you make or the answers you give. Love your content Kelly, keep it up!!

im tired of explaining to people how much i just don't like talking to people lol, its a struggle because i come off very extroverted

I absolutely LOVE and ADMIRE you greatly. I would love for my son and daughter to share your outlook. Keep up the AMAZING work that you do.

After realizing how rough my high school experience was with letting people literally ruin my life in fear of coming across as mean, I truly do what to change and be able to identify how to stand up for myself. Love ya kelly

Love you Kelly! Keep doing what you are doing little momma! So proud of you!

I love that you stick it to the self professed counselors.. I’m older than you and had many of those weird guys that wanted to ask me what I was going to do with my life. If I had your advice and confidence at the time I would’ve calmly shut them down before they got to me. Fortunately I stuck with my life choices, but you’re absolutely right.. they are trying to make your fit into their narrative as to how life is ‘supposed’ to be lived.

Thank you for coming on here and being so open and honest! I really love watching your videos, and I wish you all the best :)

I've learnt so much from you Kelly, you're younger than I am, but that doesn't mean I can't gain value in a lot of what you say, thank you little big virtual sister.

"I don't want to relate to you" - YES

Everything about this video is perfect: the music, the message, and as always, the delivery. Appreciate you sharing your wisdom with us, Kelly!

Thank you Prof. Stamps, I get sick of being ask what I plan to do with my degrees as one pursuing academics. I’m pursuing my studies because I enjoy learning, whether that leads me to becoming a professor, librarian, or etc. I have no clue and I don’t care. As you said, I have so much trust in God that I honestly don’t plan anything, though from others view it looks like I do😂

You are a unicorn! Most people are intrigued, afraid and jealous all at the same time. They don’t know what to do with their own lives, sooo attaching their opinions to another person’s life might give them a distraction. Actually, that opinion might be all they have. Do you sis!!!

whenever i need that confident and abundant energy, I watch you. Thank you for being you

I’m living for all of the comments under this video. I feel so seen & heard, & a bit of relief. You all articulate your feelings and experiences so well and I can definitely resonate. Thanks, Kelly girl🥰

Amen! Let's make ceasing to explain ourselves to people a self-care essential. Folks don't have to understand, and we don't owe them an explanation. We understand what we're doing, and that's enough.

Thank you, Kelly! ✨

I needed that lil "hey" thank you

just came across your videos and I already feel such a powerful mindset shift! Your videos are the only 5 credit classes i will willingly sit through LOL

your videos always come at the right time for me because i am too, at this point in life where other's people's narrative of you has no hold over your life AT ALL. I've found more peace than ever by not arguing and trying to over explain myself to people who just want to view me a certain way anyways

Love you Kelly, i wish I would have learned the art of being unbothered a long time ago (I'm 46 learning it from a 20 something yr old). keep pushing girl, forget these haters.

I hate explaining to ppl when they start asking me what do I want to do in my life. Most of them they asked u to judge u or put u in a box. So sad

You spoke to my heart and soul. We are all just figuring it out as we go. Thank you for bringing us along Kelly.

This video really resonates with me something hard. I am constantly being questioned and sized up by people because I don't act the way they THINK I should act. I've gotten to the point where I do not dull myself to make people feel better about being around me. I always encourage people to embrace the parts of them that they are afraid of showing because thats what liberated me.

The man who stopped you and tried to 'pick your brain' may have tried to make you question yourself, but not because you didn't fit his approval or he was struggling with understanding you... That was just his 'hook' to get you into bed. Same as the mover guy you mentioned. My older me looks back at my younger me, whowas burdened by all these similar issues my whole life, and realises those weird encounters, at least when it was from men, were simply about sex. I'm still trying to navigate the jealousy from insecure women of all ages, but at least that's one pain solved.

Ppl that truly love you will always give you grace. However, those that do NOT want to understand you will always find a reason to talk negatively about you. Seriously, cannot believe when you said, you give 'short answers.' I give yes/no answers at the workplace and it's quite empowering and refreshing. You are such powerful presence in my life knowing I can come here and know that someone as successful, confident, funny, fun, pretty, and God loving as you validates my internal struggles.

This video really spoke to me, truly helping me with my late teen years. How people feel about me is not my problem nor should I feel the need to explain myself anymore!

that is such a good point, Phd. Dr. Prof. Head of Unbothered Studoes Kelly Stamps! I normally explain for a minute and if they get it they get it, if they don’t they don’t. People’s minds are just waay to different from one another to ALWAYS find common ground. Also no one’s paying you for the time you spend explaining yourself so why bother😂

You are continually one of my favorite creators because you’re so good at just being so REAL

everytime i feel myself caring too much/oversharing, i come back to her videos

currently sitting in my en suite rolling a joint on my loo and i am a great example of what not giving a heck does for your life. i am happy to say i love ya proffesor kelly

Having to explain to other people could exhaust you. Seems like you couldn't take time for yourself to breathe and even think properly.

I felt this in my soul. I hate explaining myself to anyone since I’ve gotten older.

You’re absolutely correct. People will hear and believe what they want. Might as well just be yourself. I’m so happy you figure all of this out early. Your life is cool and will continue to be.

Thank you for being you. Currently transitioning out of the dusty life, I need this content and information. 😂👏🏾🙌🏾👸🏾

Alot of people want to know how much a person makes because they want to see what is possible for themselves and not just to size you up. Also giving a person respect should not be tied solely to how much money they make. A person that bases their personal worth on how much money they make comes across as materialistic and unhappy deep down.

At first I was confused by you as a person, but especially with these recent videos I realized we are so similar! You are speaking to my soul.

"What do you do for a living?" "I LIVE." -Kelly Stamps I love that ❤❤ You should sell merchandise that says that!

I’m tired of explaining I’m never going to want to buy a grocery bag 😂

Liking this before even watching it, just because you have my life motto in your title.

No, that is so true. They could not trust themselves with that kind of freedom. Love this ❤

🙏👏👏 Good on you, that's creepy af, even if it wasn't intended to be. But you're completely right I'm noticing whenever I'm feeling awkward because of what someone is asking me it's not because of me in any which way shape or form it's because it's none of their business and my subconscious is calling it for what it is. So I'm going to remember whenever someone says something to me that gives me a weird feeling it's because they shouldn't be saying it to start with.

Hello 👋🏾, I totally agree, let God lead the way. I’m glad I’ve learned this sooner than before it’s too late ⏰ My life is so much more peaceful and I am becoming stronger in my walk of Faith in Jesus . It’s a wonderful time to be alive and free to do what I was created for. 😊 Peace and blessings to you as well 🙏🏾

YOU ARE LITERALLY AMAZING, BLESSED AND MY NOW MOST FAVORITE PERSON ON EARTH!

I needed this so much. I care so much about what others think of me. It's crippling.

Yes! I don’t know what it’s like to play victim in life. Especially in regards to things like my skin. It’s idiotic and self depreciating

You're always a breath of fresh air. Thank you for telling us what we needed to hear. Trust in God's plan. ❤

me personally i take breaks from socials media from time to time and i am so tired of explaining why, and some point i just stopped explaining and just wouldn’t tell anybody when i decided to take a break. I think i’ve even heard Kelly once say that some people are honestly committed to misunderstanding you and your beliefs, i’ve had people get infuriated over me not answering my socials while i’m trying to figure out why they care so much lol and that’s why i don’t even explain myself anymore cus they’ll be mad either way.

I really do appreciate these videos. I think you’re the epitome of loving your best life and not caring. That’s something that’s very admirable honestly!

You're like a brain masseuse. It feels so good to tune in to your frequency.

I’ve only seen a few of your videos and I’ve liked your messages but I’m not so sure about this one. The last thing the world needs is MORE self absorbed, egotistical, entitled narcissists. Look around, they’re everywhere and they aren’t that great. There is something beautifully balanced about life though. The universe has a way of evening things out. Be humble and grateful or the universe will find a way to humble you and take away the things that you didn’t appreciate.

“I don’t want to relate to you.”🎤 Yesss!🙌🏻