Surviving Edged Weapons - JonTron
Рет қаралды 14,475,879
4 жыл бұрынThanks to Dollar Shave Club for sponsoring. Go to www.DollarShaveClub.com/jontron to get your starter set for $5. After that, the restock box ships full-sized products at regular price.
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Follow JonTron Here:
Instagram: / jontronshow
Twitter: / jontronshow
Business Inquiries:
jontron(at)ellifyagency.com
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Crew:
Director, Writer, Editor - Jon Jafari
Director of Photography/Line Producer - Sergio Emilio Torres
Camera Operator - Conor Murdock
Gaffer- Michael Shayne
Editor - Andrew Reynoso
Sound Mixer - Keaton Hild
Production Designer/ Prop Master- Lynell Vinuya
Leadman - Mike Butler
Carpenter - Robert Taylor
Makeup Artist - Maria Alexandra
Special Effects - Melanie Licata
Set PA - Aramis Klein
Assistant Editor - Lewis Bown
Cast:
Teenage Sister - Tamara Chichian
Teenage Brother - Daniel Stompor
Knife Culture Guests - Charlotte Claw, Craig Ernest Woodward, Georgia Morgan, Philip O'Gorman
Thug/Swordsman - Joseph Hernandez
Knife Culture VO - Lewis Bown
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Christmas JonTron Intro by Studio Yotta
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Christmas JonTron Theme by Tom Ryan
@brock5485 4 жыл бұрын
Imagine being a mid-40’s woman hired specifically to act as a Satanist who gets shot in a police training video
@manofcultura 4 жыл бұрын
Agent: boy deborah, do I have a role for you. We’ll break you out of that jerry springier crowd member #9 rut...
@Shmaples 4 жыл бұрын
HAIL SATAN
@x_croner 4 жыл бұрын
soon tell her children that satan saved her
@cheekybananaboy3361 4 жыл бұрын
it wasn't an act they really just invaded a satanist hideout and shot a bitch
@uljk5699 4 жыл бұрын
At first, I couldn't tell if she was genuinely an in-video character or just another disguise of Jon.
@randomslomo1875 3 жыл бұрын
I think when they say "knife culture" they mean what is commonly referred to as "living on the edge."
@captainsunshine64 3 жыл бұрын
Underappreciated comment
@randomslomo1875 3 жыл бұрын
@@captainsunshine64 Underappreciated appreciation 💜
@gregorymirabella1423 3 жыл бұрын
@@randomslomo1875 i appreciate you as well.
@randomslomo1875 3 жыл бұрын
@@gregorymirabella1423 😊
@banditcat9957 3 жыл бұрын
Take my like and fuck off
@GruelEnjoyer 2 жыл бұрын
The fact that they put an Iron Maiden poster in the satanist’s house at 11:08 really shows the age of this training film
@failsrus96 2 жыл бұрын
That's the 80s for ya!
@salommy 2 жыл бұрын
Up the Irons!
@rambeastgamer6472 2 жыл бұрын
"Take cover that knife is fully loaded"
@MrMCDiggles 2 жыл бұрын
Satanic panic certainly was a thing.
@kthxbaiz 2 жыл бұрын
"shows the *edge* of this training film"
@Evan24_7 Жыл бұрын
2:58 Can we just appreciate how Jon set up this entire scene for a 15 second gag?
@lukamoon6094 10 ай бұрын
“Knife culture”
@shadydaemon4178 2 ай бұрын
I wish I was there, I would dine in content with everyone there, the single cutlery choice would’ve been hilarious to use.
@cheburgg Ай бұрын
no
@sabertag6992 4 жыл бұрын
Can we all just appreciate that Jon got 4 other people and himself to get dressed for a fancy dinner, cooked it, dressed the table for a 4 star meal in a Victorian home, all for a 10 second gag?
@sleeplessdistrict3897 4 жыл бұрын
SaberTag To be fair that good looks hella good
@kirbysuperstar5494 4 жыл бұрын
The man takes his jokes seriously
@apassionatenerd.3564 4 жыл бұрын
@Illumurian that still takes time and effort in fairness
@ponnythedinosaur3963 4 жыл бұрын
SaberTag I hope he’s not back on hiatus
@TnT_F0X 4 жыл бұрын
Jon: Alright I placed a takeout order from Applebees, get in costume if you want free dinner before editing for 72 hours.
@ryanlesner4716 4 жыл бұрын
" I once saw him kill three men in a bar with a pencil. " " I only survived because I watched Surviving Edged Weapons. "
@davincent98 4 жыл бұрын
How about a magic trick?
@ryanlesner4716 4 жыл бұрын
@@davincent98 the joker did that.
@davincent98 4 жыл бұрын
@@ryanlesner4716 exactly
@justhuman221 4 жыл бұрын
*John wick join the chat*
@commandercat10 4 жыл бұрын
@@justhuman221 john wicks dog has left the chat
@squishybrick 2 жыл бұрын
"Edge based attack" just sounds like a term used by a DnD game. Always beware of edge based attackers.. You may be equipped with a bullet-proof vest that gives 65% resistance to bullet based attacks, but edge based attacks can bypass this and deal critical damage, to even the hardiest of officers.. Remember.. There's no save throw for incompetence..
@dungeon_delvers Жыл бұрын
The police assailant enters my melee range, but luckily he failed his perception check to realize I have my broadsword sheathed in the Tim Hortons. I roll a critical sneak attack, and since he has vulnerability to edge based attacks, I do x4 damage.
@KopperNeoman Жыл бұрын
That's just most UFO Defence mods.
@zombieattacker5221 Жыл бұрын
Actually knives are very effective on light police vests as they are made of a bunch of fibers that are made to distribute the force of a bullet but can be cut easily But if you have a plate carrying vest it's not as effective cause there's a steel plate in there.
@Pigmedog Жыл бұрын
its called slashing damage but about the same gist
@vectorequinox6202 Жыл бұрын
This is legit how bulletproof armor works in World of Darkness games like Vampire and Hunter.
@FloodlightGamingReal 2 жыл бұрын
Can't wait for the sequel "how to dodge projectile based weaponry"
@moppman1879 2 жыл бұрын
you wish bro
@WalterTheWalrus Жыл бұрын
Payday 2 be like
@notageologist3022 9 ай бұрын
@@WalterTheWalrus"I may have 60% chance to dodge bullets but not 60% chance to dodge alimony."
@ryancarrell3186 9 ай бұрын
there is a real sequel, and it's about negotiating hostage situations.
@Unoriginality_Incarnate_stupid 6 ай бұрын
How to evade pew pew pow pows
@strawberrana 4 жыл бұрын
It should be *Shoot* the bad guy *Evade* enemy attacks *Move* behind cover *Evaluate* the situation *Neutralize* remaining threats
@deadgodofneutrality7725 4 жыл бұрын
Remember the things the academy taught us S.E.M.E.N beware of thrusting long hard objects
@mrbeaver6000 4 жыл бұрын
Semen saves lives.
@strawberrana 4 жыл бұрын
@@mrbeaver6000 Correction: S.E.M.E.N. saves lives
@glorbshlanky5041 4 жыл бұрын
CJgamr01 Correction: S.E.M.E.N. creates lives
@KaeganThornhillTheCyberRaven 4 жыл бұрын
If you're Officers of the Law always remember, Semen. S- Shoot First E- Evaluate later M- Maintain innocence E- Plant drugs N- News at 11
@skullhunter9962 4 жыл бұрын
He is only sharing his sponsorship so we have an edged weapon to defend ourselves with this year.
@cheekibreeki3757 4 жыл бұрын
Not if your dad or mom is a cop
@cheekibreeki3757 4 жыл бұрын
Then your are possible treat
@tc-vh3xk 4 жыл бұрын
Then we go smens
@lewisevans1151 4 жыл бұрын
I'm English so how do I smens for I do not have a shoot do I need to stab instead
@NodDisciple1 4 жыл бұрын
@@lewisevans1151 Maybe?
@schleepy6362 6 ай бұрын
"Shoot first, MENS later" is a quote I will carry with me for the rest of my life, honestly. Wise words to live by.
@lexaramoth3623 2 жыл бұрын
I talked to a former cop, he said he had actually arrested a guy who dressed up like a ninja and swung a katana around
@mydab66 2 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@ianhoddinott9492 4 жыл бұрын
"What are you gonna do, stab me?" _-Quote From Man Stabbed_
@Ludwig_Perpenhente 4 жыл бұрын
What? You egg?
@SciaticCoast89 4 жыл бұрын
@@Ludwig_Perpenhente *stabs him*
@FightCain 4 жыл бұрын
Takes from Borderlanss
@silversoul9661 4 жыл бұрын
@@SciaticCoast89 *saucy boy*
@smugone3330 4 жыл бұрын
*you are a saucy boy*
@DamnUKakkaCarrotCake 4 жыл бұрын
I'm no botanist, but doesn't Dollar Shave Club sell razors? Idk, sounds like edged weapons to me.
@clickpause8732 4 жыл бұрын
I'm no veterinarian, but you're right. Razor blades are deadly edged weapons that can provide severe edge-based attacks.
@MrHendrix17 4 жыл бұрын
The biggest missed opportunity in an ad read ever
@tfwthelsdkicksin6083 4 жыл бұрын
I'm no quantum physicist but yes you are correct
@jamescromwell4055 4 жыл бұрын
I'm no political scientist but now you know how to defend yourself against a razor. Just shoot. Dollar gun club.
@the-letter_s 4 жыл бұрын
Look, I may not be a member of the Homo Erectus species, but knife bad.
@Ciborium 2 жыл бұрын
You forgot to mention that this video was filmed entirely in Milwaukee, WI, with an all-Milwaukee cast. This training film is the best training film of all time. It deserves an Academy Award.
@crazedfangirl5654 Жыл бұрын
That's why it looks so familiar
@1BrknHrtdRomeo 4 ай бұрын
Go watch RedLetterMedia's take on this. It's better overall lol but considering you have actual people from Milwaukee stumble on this and realize part of the way in that it's Milwaukee lol
@megaman1584 Жыл бұрын
6:02-6:10 I like how the guy with the scimitar is running and screaming towards jon like one of those kamikaze dudes from serious sam. 😂
@Samstar369 Жыл бұрын
AHHHHHHHHHH 💣💣💣
@haydengates128 Ай бұрын
Now remember, the first thing you want to do in this scenario is stay calm. If you don’t get them in the first shot you always got four more. **Cocks and shoot shotgun** I got him in one but don’t feel bad if you don’t, take as many as you can.
@cgb6093 4 жыл бұрын
all i got from this was "How to survive edged weapons" "use a gun."
@rezandrarizkyirianto-1933 4 жыл бұрын
If that doesn't work, use more gun
@absolutelyyousless7605 4 жыл бұрын
*Engineer’s guitar playing intensifies*
@bubbykins4864 4 жыл бұрын
*becomes a Pikachu like this is a weird attempt at comedy* *uses Thunderbolt* *Scimitar Murderer: DEAD!*
@absolutelyyousless7605 4 жыл бұрын
Bubby Kins *R/ImSoRandom.* Being random is not funny, you fiend
@bubbykins4864 4 жыл бұрын
@@absolutelyyousless7605 You tried linking a subreddit on KZfaq.... And capitalized the first "r"? Not only that, but it says "attempt at" in there, acknowledging that someone's going to participate in the "put a subreddit name on KZfaq _as the first thing you say"_ meme over my actually good advice for if by some chance, you become an Electric type. The point is that there is more than one way to defeat an enemy. You could even fight fire with fire, as chivalry had been doing. *loads pile driver-launching cannon with judicial intent*
@CheeseYourself 3 жыл бұрын
My dad owns like three swords, he just keeps them in his bedroom Should I be prepared to protect myself from his _relentless flurry of edge-based attacks_
@littlelettuce936 3 жыл бұрын
Trust no one my friend.
@errortryagainlater4240 3 жыл бұрын
This is how he's gonna tell you you're adopted. Be ready.
@abelq8008 3 жыл бұрын
Wear a bright colored uniform so he can easily identify you in a melee.
@gyga4906 3 жыл бұрын
Just remember to shoot first and mens later.
@eyeaid9817 3 жыл бұрын
Well if he knows three sword style, well as a karate hobo once said: "Omae wa mou shindeiru"
@killianmccartney5842 Жыл бұрын
That's the same excuse I would give to a police officer. " Was it f****** cool absolutely"
@psychopathic_kitten1029 Жыл бұрын
"But officer, c'mon, that was a 360 noscope headshot! Right between the eyes! MIDAIR!!"
@killianmccartney5842 Жыл бұрын
@@psychopathic_kitten1029 okay that was actually pretty f****** awesome
@JG-ce3pu Жыл бұрын
You’d say “was it fu***** cool absolutely” to the cop?
@killianmccartney5842 Жыл бұрын
@@JG-ce3pu yeah
@goldsteed8832 8 ай бұрын
@@psychopathic_kitten1029alright that was pretty rad, your free to go
@TheWigglerKing Жыл бұрын
3:04 I love how everyone else at the table looks right but jontron just sticks out so much
@republicofengineers1983 Жыл бұрын
“Knife culture” kinda looks like a drama show I’d watch on Netflix Seriously, I’d watch that if it was actually a show
@JovialSkunk 2 ай бұрын
How so?
@TheWigglerKing 2 ай бұрын
@@JovialSkunk like everyone else is this like, clean shaven, rigid jawline, well Kempt hair, and then Jon is just, neck beard double chin, its hilarious
@JovialSkunk 2 ай бұрын
@@TheWigglerKing Fym? He looks fine
@TheWigglerKing 2 ай бұрын
@@JovialSkunk I mean he looks great physically, I was merely commenting on the difference between him and the others at the table, the others look like they fit into the aesthetic they were going for of upper-class dinner, and he doesn’t fit into that particular sect of appearance, I wasn’t calling him fat or ugly, and I wasn’t calling the other people better looking than him, they just look different from each other
@viktortzarofthexbox2987 3 жыл бұрын
“The emo kid came at me with his edgy my little pony OC! I’m sure glad I knew how to repel his edge based attack!” -some police officer probably
@TheLangenator 3 жыл бұрын
“So I shot him”
@theunderlyinghaterlol7 3 жыл бұрын
"Not my fault! He knocked my donut out of my hand, if I say anything, he deserved it!"
@a-astudios116 3 жыл бұрын
This is underrated XD
@Bronyunitchangelings 3 жыл бұрын
So anyways, I started blasting
@commanderdemonno9819 3 жыл бұрын
oh my god
@cheesemccheese7837 4 жыл бұрын
mad respect for creating an entire other set for the "knife culture" joke.
@PurpleColonel 3 жыл бұрын
I'm kinda disappointed it didnt turn into a mad stabbing party
@mr.mondomacho6815 3 жыл бұрын
Yo, how can I buy/stream episodes of “Knife Culture”? I’m a HUGE fan of old-timey British television!
@cheesemccheese7837 3 жыл бұрын
@JONATHON FISHER I wouldn't for your own sanity
@hewhobattles8869 3 жыл бұрын
Same
@tausiftaha12 3 жыл бұрын
@@cheesemccheese7837 you're name
@lewisclarke2840 Жыл бұрын
Jon disguised as Santa coming down peoples chimneys and stabbing children is literally the funniest thing ever
@-Commit-arson- Жыл бұрын
I love how John when he gave the police officer, a voice acting role. It was immediately assumed that he was Midwestern.
@noesunyoutuber7680 Жыл бұрын
I think that was mostly because all the actors in Surviving Edged Weapons were clearly also midwestern.
@-Commit-arson- Жыл бұрын
@@noesunyoutuber7680 “Ah shiet!”
@HenryLarson-wq2xp 2 ай бұрын
Specifically, it's a Milwaukee accent, everyone is from Milwaukee, where the movie was shot
@dumbassweeb5702 4 жыл бұрын
“LADY TURN AROUND!!!!!” “Hail Satan!” “TURN AROUND!!!!!” *turns around with a knife, on knees, 50 feet away* *launches a nuke at the lady’s exact position*
@frostwickedpaw2218 4 жыл бұрын
Gatling gun, assault rifle with drum mags, grenade launcher, home made pipe bomb, acid jars, etc.... But nuke ...a bit excessive
@robertcapestany6019 4 жыл бұрын
@shameless furry Weird? Not really. Weard? Absolutely.
@lovaszaron3138 4 жыл бұрын
@@frostwickedpaw2218 Okay, then a mini-nuke.
@incog2532 4 жыл бұрын
TACTICAL NUKE INCOMING!!!!!
@fatmonke4774 4 жыл бұрын
SMENS
@teclinsoro4523 3 жыл бұрын
“no money, no shit” should be on the door of those public toilets you have to pay to use
@ryderr4702 3 жыл бұрын
Yes
@I_Like_Ike53 3 жыл бұрын
@@ryderr4702 yes
@randomguy5561 3 жыл бұрын
Underrated Comment
@I_Like_Ike53 3 жыл бұрын
@@randomguy5561 you and I are not so different
@awilddoge9991 3 жыл бұрын
Ok grams but the gun down
@archfiend221 Жыл бұрын
The funny part is now there's a movie called violent night about Santa killing people
@Virtual-caveman Жыл бұрын
Actually 😂
@thegoatedone-yu8oe Жыл бұрын
Very good movie
@Strummie Жыл бұрын
Not like it’s an original concept. Silent Night, Deadly Night came out in 1984 and there’s a ton of other movies and media in general that have a killer Santa in it.
@masterchief8637 Жыл бұрын
@@Strummie but granted, this killer santa is a heroic santa
@shadydaemon4178 2 ай бұрын
Oh god…
@SirAsshat 2 жыл бұрын
The RLM review of this on wheel of the worst is also a classic.
@LoveLee_Dreamer 4 жыл бұрын
God there's nothing better, nothing I love more, than a casual claymore.
@Madmac42069 4 жыл бұрын
Elfin Dreamer what about a sensual scemitar ??
@tastierjungle4645 4 жыл бұрын
Elfin Dreamer Dutlniv
@danialhakim6665 4 жыл бұрын
What about the problematic pencil?
@City-Hunter 4 жыл бұрын
it's more of a bastard sword to be honest...
@LoveLee_Dreamer 4 жыл бұрын
@@Madmac42069 Ah fuck, I didn't think about the sensual scimitar.
@nerd_5615 3 жыл бұрын
5:54 I never once thought in my life I'd ever hear the phrase: "Jumpin' Jehovah James, that's a Scimitar he's got."
@lucifearical 3 жыл бұрын
That's why we love Johntron guy
@urthegai1764 3 жыл бұрын
@@lucifearical Jon tron guy?
@urthegai1764 3 жыл бұрын
Guy
@lucifearical 3 жыл бұрын
@@urthegai1764 h m m m It appears i have misspelled and yes
@tora148 3 жыл бұрын
Schmitmar
@morkman 2 жыл бұрын
I was rewatching this video, as one does, and I literally got an ad for a “monthly knife club.” That’s the kind of thing young knife culturists need to know about, as it’s a solid source of edge based weapons.
@pieguy101 Жыл бұрын
still watch this every christmas masterpeice of a video
@GregorianChatter 4 жыл бұрын
Theory: Jon knew that 2020 was gonna be bad so he's now hiding in his 200 floored bunker made entirely out of flex tape and turduken.
@samurexatlas7373 4 жыл бұрын
You... You where right on.
@GregorianChatter 4 жыл бұрын
@@samurexatlas7373 yea, I'm actually scared.
@shadowldrago 4 жыл бұрын
@@GregorianChatter Are you secrely psychic or something?
@DanielAlves-xe4om 4 жыл бұрын
@@shadowldrago hes a better physic than that lady on the goop show
@arlind5590 4 жыл бұрын
qui?
@dominatornh981 4 жыл бұрын
This is literally if Animal Planet describes whatever the heck knife culture is.
@5dollars237 4 жыл бұрын
These guys are animals, wait no Evolved Animals
@kyokyoniizukyo7171 4 жыл бұрын
Sir Corgi You and me baby ain’t nothing but mamals so...
@myrmesuwu607 4 жыл бұрын
Gun: am I a joke to you?
@zacharyclarke4240 4 жыл бұрын
nah knife culture is really just nutting over CRK sebenzas on reddit and instagram
@HeilRay 4 жыл бұрын
Illuminati Studios They’d say it still needs more animal sex
@camerapasteurize7215 2 жыл бұрын
Ironically, many police officers have been badly wounded when they underestimated a criminal knife. Adrenaline is crazy, and bullets have very little knockback in reality, as they tend to just go straight through a target. As a result, someone within a certain distance can still reach a person and stab them with a knife, even if they've been shot, because shock and adrenaline are preventing them from feeling pain at that moment. There was an account of a group of bank robbers who were surprised by the cops in a shootout. Every single one of them was wounded or killed in the ensuing firefight, except for one robber, who escaped and ran down the road several blocks before he stopped, and dropped dead. He had been shot in the heart, but his panic and adrenaline prevented him from even feeling the wound until he lost enough blood to collapse.
@googleandsusansucks 5 ай бұрын
"very little knockback in reality" Oh rly. It is called stopping power and yea, guns have a lot.
@hansshekelstein9450 Ай бұрын
Tangently related, but once a Mexican dude survived a firing squad during the Mexican revolution, being shot literally in the skull and managed to play dead and drag himself to a church through adrenaline.
@pairashootpants5373 Жыл бұрын
The sound of their socked feet as they "scanned" is just hilarious 😂
@Tcj333 4 жыл бұрын
Everyone in the credits looks like they were held at edgepoint.
@lordcosby6364 4 жыл бұрын
underrated comment right here.
@JoJoTheOtter 4 жыл бұрын
Tcj333 How utterly primitive.
@V8_Diva 4 жыл бұрын
They were held at SMENS point
@sadjohnny6120 4 жыл бұрын
I think that's the joke
@thedarkkissel5331 4 жыл бұрын
I disagree, Jon is NOT a dead meme... Kinda?
@naterk9460 3 жыл бұрын
"Alright cadets. Now you know how to survive edged weapons. Any questions before we send you out into the field?" "Sargent, what if the bad guy has a blunt weapon, like a bat?" "... dear god..."
@theysaidimasian9766 3 жыл бұрын
"i knew we shouldve made a video for blunt culture, fuck"
@Nobody-jn2zy 3 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@Nobody-jn2zy 3 жыл бұрын
@@theysaidimasian9766 lmao
@callmeanon307 3 жыл бұрын
@@theysaidimasian9766 Just shoot
@rainbowlemniscate2761 3 жыл бұрын
What if they have a bat with a knife taped to it tho
@timmytacoburrito Жыл бұрын
4:11 one my favorite skits ever
@martinnoreallymartin3661 2 ай бұрын
This is.... 4 years old....
@bear1050 Ай бұрын
And Dollar Shave Club is even older..
@LordMcdonald Ай бұрын
Please don’t remind me, I’m 19 but the last 3 years have made me feel way older😢
@naughtiusmaximus789 Ай бұрын
I love edging to my weapons!
@nitrocharge2404 4 жыл бұрын
I prefer having guns that shoot knives, however this video made this idea impractical, because now they know how to survive edged weapons
@joshuamendoza7596 4 жыл бұрын
NitroCharge 240 easy solution gun shaped knife now it’s a blunt weapon disguised as an edged one
@SashaSlvt 4 жыл бұрын
NitroCharge 240 thats just a crossbow.....
@arneblonski2688 4 жыл бұрын
Swordsplosion?
@MJFallout 4 жыл бұрын
Maybe try a really sharp gun; edged on every edge, giving you the real edge!
@tylerwhite9923 4 жыл бұрын
Bayonets my dude, bayonets.
@JustaSimplefact 3 жыл бұрын
My best friend and mentor got stabbed by 27 knives taped together.... He described the the experience as if he was being stabbed by 14 knives at once... I guess.. at a certain point... the effects stop stacking...
@Darca1n 3 жыл бұрын
probably hit diminishing returns at some point, gotta keep it from being too op.
@trashremade1792 2 жыл бұрын
The developers better fix this bug
@Bbeaucha88 2 жыл бұрын
14 knives is the commonly establish upper limit on taping knives together. After 14 that's when need to start taping bees (or hornets if you want to be environmentally conscious) to the weapon.
@JustaSimplefact 2 жыл бұрын
UPDATE: That has been determined to be correct. Apparently, a sliding scale has been agreed upon. When the number of improvised sharp objects surpasses 14, the damage of each additional sharp object is based on the defense rating of the armor worn by the character being attacked as well as that characters combat rating.
@bobybimberbod8500 2 жыл бұрын
the limit on how many damage ticks can occur simultaneously is 14 this means that duration weapons like chainsaws or a weapon that applies status effects like a rusty chainsaw can get around this
@TheBodyEuphoric 4 ай бұрын
"Jumpin Jehovah James, that's a Scim-tar!"
@Twelvedemon 5 ай бұрын
Him screaming while firing the machine gun killed me 😂
@MetaKaios 4 жыл бұрын
*S* hoot *M* iss *E* at a popsicle *N* ap in the snow *S* tart over
@springtrap1156 4 жыл бұрын
So I fired again, I missed, I fired again, I missed, I passed out in the snow, I woke up with a popsicle stick in my mouth, I then reloaded my gun, then I fired again, I missed
@storm_fling1062 4 жыл бұрын
Not how I spelled semen (Also yes I know this is a joke with the anagram)
@IGSA101 4 жыл бұрын
@@springtrap1156 Did you try aiming before you shot?
@IGSA101 4 жыл бұрын
@@phoenixgenious Original what? Is there a reference I'm missing here? I was just making a joke.
@fireyums 4 жыл бұрын
@@springtrap1156 Long story short, missed!
@bloodwar5005 4 жыл бұрын
No JonTron, you're not a dead meme. ....YET! *pulls out a bayoneted rifle*
@jeremyb5619 4 жыл бұрын
That’s no problem, he now knows how to survive edged weapons
@Diego_Covre 4 жыл бұрын
@@jeremyb5619 step 1: Shoot!
@H3H3.podcast 4 жыл бұрын
fuck quinton reviews
@TJ-bg4fw 4 жыл бұрын
SMENS THIS YOU FILTHY CASUAL!
@ThomasAndersonbsf 4 жыл бұрын
@@jeremyb5619 how about a fully automatic assault light saber! the AL-15!
@alderoth01 Жыл бұрын
The "SMENS" part got me 🤣! In the Army we just had Shoot, Move, Communicate 😆.
@neal_rigga90 6 ай бұрын
I know this video is 2 years old, but I'll have to show my kids this video every Xmas, just in case Santa gets wild in the upcoming years.
@embodimentofgreatness5514 5 ай бұрын
two years?
@stealthbeatle4945 3 жыл бұрын
*S* - Shoot *M* - More Shooting *E* - Even More Shooting *N* - Nine Thousand More Shots *S* - Start Again!
@slavsterchief6224 3 жыл бұрын
You sir deserve a Popeye's chicken sandwich
@JohnWick-sd3fd 3 жыл бұрын
You sir deserve a sub
@RealSkutti 3 жыл бұрын
Now thats the American way.
@NathanielVCatan 3 жыл бұрын
This technique is so effective, that it is versatile for various situation. one of which is murder and armed robbery
@cenizafranciskarlempleo8-a745 3 жыл бұрын
Its supposed to be S-Shoot M-More shooting E-Even more shooting N-Nine more shots S-Start again
@ronpaul5319 3 жыл бұрын
Huge Jontron fan. Had to leave a dislike though, everyone keeps surviving my edge based attacks now because they’ve seen this interesting and informative video
@PageofLegend 3 жыл бұрын
IKR?! My relentless flurry of edge-based attacks used to be so effective on random groups of people, but now they see it coming a mile away.
@collinchristensen7405 3 жыл бұрын
My Dad voted for you
@ElectricBarrier 3 жыл бұрын
I used to crit 80% of the time, now I just keep getting MISSes. Thanks a lot JonTron.
@kareemmasri3934 3 жыл бұрын
@@collinchristensen7405 “SHUT UP, LARRY!!!!!!!” 😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
@slasher2595 3 жыл бұрын
yeah relatable
@jairosimahan4986 5 ай бұрын
Dont get me wrong, this content Jon got nowadays is awesome. But this one is my favorite.
@kuru-kuru5867 2 жыл бұрын
7:38 if you put them knife as a spear shaft, you got yourself a cosmic knife spear from Dead Money
@obergfamily9049 3 жыл бұрын
The "Knife Culture" set was so elaborate it wasn't worth the some 8 second joke.
@monolith253 3 жыл бұрын
Jon is very dedicated
@electricshield2184 3 жыл бұрын
@@monolith253 KONO DIO DA
@thespianmask8451 3 жыл бұрын
Nah they just decided to film how they normally eat dinner every day. No biggie.
@Batchall_Accepted 3 жыл бұрын
Thats always kinda part of the joke to me though the amount of effort he puts into these 10-15 second throwaway bits
@demi-femme4821 3 жыл бұрын
This is JonTron you're talking about, there's at least one of those in each episode
@ayushsingha9414 4 жыл бұрын
Things go from bad to horrible real quick.
@snepcheck2198 4 жыл бұрын
sounds like my life during finals
@timmymctimson5543 4 жыл бұрын
Description of this entire channel
@biggisdickis2686 4 жыл бұрын
Right away I knew I was in deep shit
@ZJRLT 4 жыл бұрын
To fucking horrendous real fucking quick 1st of all you're walking around the street then out of nowhere you get kidnapped then they pull a m16 on ya.
@gido9467 4 жыл бұрын
Realquick
@J___0926 2 ай бұрын
It breaks me every time when he tries swinging his candy cane at the glass of milk and misses the first swing😂😂
@jacketylon Жыл бұрын
That laugh at 4:28 is amazing
@friedricedonkey7209 3 жыл бұрын
A wise friend once said "Violence is never the answer, its the question and the answer is yes."
@wolf-ranger 3 жыл бұрын
I haven't heard that before. I love it!
@lazyliongames5858 3 жыл бұрын
@@wolf-ranger you unknife cultured swine
@akumasstorytime3910 3 жыл бұрын
Is your friend the fucking doom slayer
@homersimpson3441 3 жыл бұрын
I would like this comment but it's at 69 likes so I'll just leave it
@definitelygoku4924 3 жыл бұрын
@@lazyliongames5858 *Knife Culture*
@unknownspectator5925 4 жыл бұрын
Guy at airport disguises butterfly knife as two pen Airport security and John: HE JUST KILLED THE MAN WITH PENS!!!
@clamdove3292 4 жыл бұрын
misread pens as penis
@rameynoodles152 4 жыл бұрын
Should've used SMPENS...
@morganpickering4804 4 жыл бұрын
He must be John Wick or somethin'.
@sephiroth8217 4 жыл бұрын
I have a banana decal on one of my balisongs.
@Warhawk-dz2gt 4 жыл бұрын
Sounds like a success to me
@fortissears5388 25 күн бұрын
It's funny how the whole thing talks about "edge-based attacks", but it's mostly worried about you getting STABBED.
@codkiller2025 Жыл бұрын
We're one minute in and Santa is shanking kids. God I love this channel
@Benthium 4 жыл бұрын
JonTron: Does this man just have a Claymore sitting in the corner of his house? Also Jontron: Has a sword right next to him in Real Ghosts
@joshuac.402 4 жыл бұрын
thats some modern warfare level stuff
@SpikeJet2736 4 жыл бұрын
You never know when Jason Voorhees might show up
@zom8680 4 жыл бұрын
Jon mentions claymore and I'm looking for a corner mine. Goddam COD
@zacross8504 4 жыл бұрын
remember that time he was attacked by the scissor man? That’s why he keeps them around
@SpikeJet2736 4 жыл бұрын
@@zacross8504 gasp... not the scissor man
@shyre836 4 жыл бұрын
"a baseball cap with razor blades sewn to the back" S P E E D O W A G O N - S A N
@sonnymartin9536 4 жыл бұрын
*M R J O E S T A R*
@stephenuchiha6430 4 жыл бұрын
Oh! That’s a baseball!
@TheRealAeternum 4 жыл бұрын
*ZA WARUDO!*
@herm2.o347 4 жыл бұрын
"Oh you're approaching me?"
@TheRealAeternum 4 жыл бұрын
@@herm2.o347 "I can't beat the shit out of you without getting closer"
@cyborgninja5489 7 ай бұрын
Jon's gun effects look really good.
@Tacdelio 7 күн бұрын
thats an 870 salient arms "shotgun". its not a real shotgun. it cant fire real shotgun shells, it's used for effects and training purposes.
@oscardelarenta9647 2 жыл бұрын
Police-Instructor Jon’s dialect is lowkey the funniest bit 😂 so on point!!
@jortharob3406 4 жыл бұрын
Come on Jon nobody likes airport attendants. It was worth it
@blazmobabbinz 4 жыл бұрын
its only natural, they wont allow you to bring a water bottle, so you stab them .
@SumitKumar-ce7ov 4 жыл бұрын
@@blazmobabbinz you guys know about liquid And gel explosives exist right?. Those officers deserve some respect
@ashleighlynch7718 4 жыл бұрын
@@SumitKumar-ce7ov it's called s a r c a s m.
@axelmilan4292 4 жыл бұрын
Airport security: get paid to grope!
@klarstrup 4 жыл бұрын
@@SumitKumar-ce7ov no
@miyuruify 2 жыл бұрын
Love those old documentary narrator voices. so nostalgic.
@Quib101 Жыл бұрын
As a Canadian we usually don't have guns as much as Americans, so this actually makes quite a lot of sense to have "Surviving Edged Weapons" as a official police training video.
@BOYHUNF 10 ай бұрын
Except if you're in Alberta at least lol
@Quib101 10 ай бұрын
@@BOYHUNF I live in Alberta... well in a more peaceful area tho
@HenryLarson-wq2xp 2 ай бұрын
It makes sense for American cops too. People really do frequently use knives to commit crimes and attack others, even if a lot of people have guns as well. Or did you mean like, Canadian police doesn't have guns? That's the only way it could be more for them to watch this video than it is for any other cop
@mynameisnotthathardtospell8199 4 жыл бұрын
*_knife culture_*
@labrynianrebel 4 жыл бұрын
*sophisticated*
@Cndr86 4 жыл бұрын
Woo.
@Chan0art 4 жыл бұрын
Forget cancel culture
@mastatheif9909 4 жыл бұрын
British be like
@liquidsnr7499 4 жыл бұрын
We need to stop fully automatic knives
@ashwinkelly2523 4 жыл бұрын
Nothing is more like Christmas than edge based attacks
@uncay2769 4 жыл бұрын
ahhh yes the perfect combination
@zaikolebolsh5724 4 жыл бұрын
Slavery and birth control of entire humanoid races, thats the true meaning of christmas
@Fvneral_moon 4 жыл бұрын
@@zaikolebolsh5724 nah its edge based attacks i think
@realname3538 4 жыл бұрын
especially in the UK!
@draconianwarking 4 жыл бұрын
They ought to start selling holiday themed chainmail shirts :P
@BurningAzure 2 жыл бұрын
6:43-6:53, The chronicle.of a Type Moon fan.
@carlwhy 2 жыл бұрын
Being a cook, I was irrationally infuriated during the knife culture skit that absolutely everything was overcooked.
@moxxy3565 3 жыл бұрын
"Jumping Jehovah James that's a scimtar he's got." My new favorite sentence.
@n1thecaptain965 2 жыл бұрын
Yes
@oriolejb9774 2 жыл бұрын
I have to agree with you
@unprankable666 2 жыл бұрын
My second favorite. For me, nothing will beat out, "And they hung in the air very much in the way that bricks don't."
@emeraldemperor2601 2 жыл бұрын
I just wish it was "Jumping J. Jonah Jameson!"
@dionjaywoollaston1349 2 жыл бұрын
That’s a first for me, I’ve heard of “jumping jehovah set” but not this one
@Collin0529 3 жыл бұрын
I guess knifes are no longer cutting edge technology. Be safe this Christmas hoped you studied this video well! November of 2021: Hello my brothers and sisters I have returned, I hope you guys have a safe Christmas this year!
@thecatcult9199 3 жыл бұрын
I hate this
@blanketpineapple 3 жыл бұрын
Ayyyyyy
@MarTCM 3 жыл бұрын
comedy gold
@oneflamingpotato7965 3 жыл бұрын
*laugh track intensifies*
@siddiqiqbal1401 3 жыл бұрын
Nice pun
@RustoKomuska Жыл бұрын
That part where Jon writes a parking ticket was the best
@user-ko2qr3dg8z Жыл бұрын
I love how quickly Jon turns on James Phillips for no reason at all 😂
@shyre836 4 жыл бұрын
"British" "Mike" "Mike" "Not Mike" "Industrial Light and Magic" "Potential Threat" Ah, yes, stunning cast list you have here, Mr. Tron
@wallacefws 4 жыл бұрын
Don't forget Dead Meme
@TheNameCannotBeFound 4 жыл бұрын
I fucking lost it at potential threat
@craftgaming7079 4 жыл бұрын
jonathan aryan jafari very nice list yes
@andy119898 4 жыл бұрын
I love potential threat Guy, he was the cave man in Turducken, What's his name by the way
@Hoodied 4 жыл бұрын
@@andy119898 He's been in quite a lot of Jontron videos as of late, he has a real deadpan vibe and seems kind of cool, dk what his name or what he does in the jontron team though
@phranco5310 3 жыл бұрын
this is hilarious, a family friend who used to be in the Canadian police force actually showed me this exact tape before. They found a copy in storage at the police station and him and all his buddies laughed their asses off watching it
@NinjaSquid0208 3 жыл бұрын
Damn I wish I coulda seen that
@TheAHuman 3 ай бұрын
This video will always be my favorite JonTron video, the quality of the jokes is on a different level than all the others.
@srddnrsmn7320 7 ай бұрын
Coming back years later just to comment that this is the greatest KZfaq thumbnail of all time.
@pixelbucket8884 4 жыл бұрын
It's a little funny knowing that someone in JonTron's editing team now has "angry asian baby" and "knife png" in their search history.
@user-hh3wr8wh9x 4 жыл бұрын
Oh my God, is Jontron on hiatus again? I swear this man is like Hunter x Hunter
@ZaJaClt 4 жыл бұрын
production value is amazing
@m4d_b0t88 4 жыл бұрын
I'm laughing at this too much this is so funny you're a comedy genius!!!!! Also I think those 2 pictures are in the files of the potential threat.
@Mr.Mousey 4 жыл бұрын
I think for THOSE kinds of searches you would be using private browser
@rainbowsparkle122 4 жыл бұрын
@@user-hh3wr8wh9x trust me being a long time jontron fan it dosnt surprise me anymore it's probably going to be about a year till he returns
@pauljames6303 4 жыл бұрын
I’m sorry but... A BASEBALL CAP WITH RAZORBLADES???
@QX3R01 4 жыл бұрын
Yeah how dare those uncultured swine's mock speedwagon by using a cap
@alpine1600s 4 жыл бұрын
Raiders and Cowboys fans have the edgiest caps! 🤯
@askgoverntale2298 4 жыл бұрын
OFF
@It-Will-All-Be-Okay-I-Promise 4 жыл бұрын
Typically used in disputes involving SpeedWeed
@mr.cordero5593 4 жыл бұрын
They also show off in the movie a razor blade on a driver license and a guy throwing shurikens at a cop too.
@ethanhill5973 Жыл бұрын
am i the only one that noticed that the airport guy at 8:33 had a butterfly knife with handles that look like pens
@FloodlightGamingReal Жыл бұрын
No
@roccotaco1843 Жыл бұрын
Bro the cop literally says take the pens out
@nebulawolf4285 Жыл бұрын
edge based attacks sounds like another term for what a quiet kid would do
@Generik97 3 жыл бұрын
6:06 "If you don't get him on the first shot, you've always got four more" *ejects round in chamber*
@TheKurtkapan34 3 жыл бұрын
'I have 57 more rounds in this 4 round magazine'
@jbrooks124 3 жыл бұрын
@@TheKurtkapan34 A Gus Johnson quote on a Jontron video? Awesome!!
@calebnorth35 3 жыл бұрын
Same as ace here
@Damian_1989 3 жыл бұрын
Is there a specific police accent, or a reference i'm not getting? The way he says to stay CAHM before approaching the BAHDDIE
@jbrooks124 3 жыл бұрын
@@Damian_1989 the training video is Canadian, so he's trying to do a Canadian accent when playing the cop.
@wills4141 4 жыл бұрын
Completely appropriate response to some dude without a badge claiming to be a "cop" and yelling "police department, come answer the doooooor"!
@MickGallJr 4 жыл бұрын
Hippity Hoppity Get off my Property.
@jaidenschallhorn8009 Жыл бұрын
The guy in the metal detector unironically executed the most badass kill in recent memory
@JohaDahlgaard Жыл бұрын
God bless KZfaq’s recommendation. This video is just what I felt like watching!
@Berd 4 жыл бұрын
i would not have been able to protect my family from santa's relentless flurry of edge-based attacks. Thank you for this video
@Caterwaulin 4 жыл бұрын
Remember SMENS
@thesack6411 4 жыл бұрын
Hello
@zak7427 4 жыл бұрын
oh my god it’s a berd
@squasher0487 4 жыл бұрын
God has entered the chat.
@peepothefrog4331 4 жыл бұрын
Relentless Mc Flurry?
@schmee9025 2 жыл бұрын
3:25 breaking bad lookin different...
@thecreeperking4613 2 жыл бұрын
You little bastards! I'll show you the true meaning of charismas *Pulls out nunchucks* That still gets me 🤣
@he8598 4 жыл бұрын
It's been 2 months, I'm starting to think Jons fallen to an edge based attack.
@jameslew2804 4 жыл бұрын
Lol
@nichl474 4 жыл бұрын
"Jons" How many Jons are you talking about?
@WellCookedPotatoes 4 жыл бұрын
Nichl Every jon tron video that we see is just a look at each alternate dimension that Jon exists in
@zacross8504 4 жыл бұрын
No he was SMENS’d S - Shoot M - E - N - S -
@lantern_logic9676 4 жыл бұрын
@@zacross8504 D - Dead???
@kieranhj8759 4 жыл бұрын
Little Child: “Santa, I knew your were real!” Santa: “Shhhh, no witnesses.” *Bang*
@spongboobman5860 4 жыл бұрын
That's Brandon Bowen Nice
@krm1930 4 жыл бұрын
Nice TomSka reference
@icantfindagoodytname6667 4 жыл бұрын
*Santa to his little elf workers in the lift before he leaves to go on his sley* "Remember, no production" *cocks rifle*
@mrdororo684 4 жыл бұрын
Then wood chipper
@whitenoise1119 3 жыл бұрын
Tomska ftw
@ianp7383 2 жыл бұрын
*Detroit Urban Survival wants to know your location*
@edgusmus7882 2 жыл бұрын
Ah, perfect, the best christmas video to both fire up the holiday spirit and survive santa
@rtfnf 4 жыл бұрын
Welcome to JonTron. Where every episode is a holiday special because he only uploads once every 5 months. Edit: This is a JOKE I’m JOKING stop getting so heated in the cooments
@keyshaun5015 4 жыл бұрын
@Blue why
@yowatchie 4 жыл бұрын
Swearing Christian I mean he uploaded 19 videos last year so that’s a bit off.
@gabesgameplay7272 4 жыл бұрын
Jack Nope
@owo9644 4 жыл бұрын
persicly
@gabesgameplay7272 4 жыл бұрын
Jack Prob Not But Yeah Could Be A Chance You Just Said It Like It Happened Already
@rulthariuz 3 жыл бұрын
“This guy just have a fucking claymore?” Me: “Doesn’t everyone?”
@oksomynameisjeff4212 3 жыл бұрын
weebeaos keep them but for useless reasons perhaps
@farawaygaming_ 3 жыл бұрын
@@oksomynameisjeff4212 no, weebs have katanas. Real men have claymores
@killerkirby366 3 жыл бұрын
@@farawaygaming_ real women have claymores strapped to katanas
@MikeKnight009 3 жыл бұрын
@@farawaygaming_ Men have claymores, John Wick has a pencil.
@mattleo3211 3 жыл бұрын
@@farawaygaming_ Weebs have katanas, snobby westerners have claymores, but REAL men, do you know what they have? A FLAMBERGE.
@AmaticXLII Жыл бұрын
"THE BEST POLICE TRAINING FILM EVER MADE!" (Has a four star rating)
@pengmaeda9908 Жыл бұрын
Everyone: "Why do police officers always seem so on edge and trigger happy?" Training Videos: "BEWARE OF THE COMMON PEN KNIFER! THEY ARE EVERYWHERE HIDING IN THE SHADOWS JUST WAITING TO ATTACK! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR! FEAR!"
@chuni5942 7 күн бұрын
WATCH HOW FAST THIS RANDOM ASIAN MAN CAN DRAW A KNIFE! BE AFRAID NOW!
@discingaround 4 жыл бұрын
90's crackheads: Claymore near door 2010's nerds: Claymore near computer desk
@isaaclongfellow8815 4 жыл бұрын
Call Of Duty Nerds: Claymore (mine) *_E V E R Y W H E R E_*
@MagnusTonitrum117 4 жыл бұрын
Punished Link I mean, in COD: WW2 there *is* actually a claymore sword, so it could go both ways
@ILikeToLaughAtYou 4 жыл бұрын
Tob Raham 2020’s Nerds: Claymore Roomba
@ChrisLeeW00 4 жыл бұрын
@@ILikeToLaughAtYou Thought the robots were all on our side? Doesn't work that way, sports fans.
@justanotherrandomontheyout4791 4 жыл бұрын
Hey don't attack me like this
@Superchicken_36 4 жыл бұрын
2 months since Jon uploaded. Everyone: I don't like where this is going.
@sentinellj 4 жыл бұрын
I understood that reference
@brodieredwine7846 4 жыл бұрын
I think he uploads a certain amount each year and then waits awhile before he starts to upload again
@MaxFalange 4 жыл бұрын
he got married
@GamingWithHajimemes 4 жыл бұрын
hes gone back to his cave to feed Jacques and he'll come back when he needs money for more food.
@Kaptain.K.F00L 4 жыл бұрын
It might be because he got married and is spending time with his wife.
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