I found a quote to share with this community, “ I would like to be a whole happy human not a human full of holes.” Without the narc I have that opportunity.

They hate you when you're weak and hurting, and they hate you when you're strong and healed. I say let them hate us all they want as we're strong and healed. Thanks Dr C!

let me guess: as a personal attack tailored against them...

They won't see it as "healing". They see it as you having gone mad. My mother told me that she hopes I can grow in to the person I was meant to be. Well I'm trying. But the person she believes I should grow in to is somebody who has no visible reaction to being mocked, labelled, blamed, shamed and excluded. That is the only version of me that my family wants.

When I told my narc mom that my kidneys were healing, and I wouldn't need dialysis, she said "Hmmm." Her disappointment was palpable. They don't want you to heal. They want you to be little and weak so they can feel strong.

Loss of Control = Threat (simple as that)

So, narcissist has something like the following mindset: I cannot improve myself, so I will try to control others and make them responsible for my well-being. If they do not cooperate, or they want to go their own way, I will sabotage them and make their life as miserable as I can, while accusing them of doing that to me.

Its a personal threat to the narcissist after all their effort to keep stuck. Its like a betrayal to the narcissist and their trauma bond plan

Being in a relationship with a narcissist, is like being in a relationship with a dictator. One little infraction and then you have to put up with the tantrums, disrespect and other nasty things.

12:07: "There's gonna be a certain price that you'll have to pay." This made me smile, because I remembered, thirty years ago, meeting with the divorce lawyer in Paris. I told her the story in ten minutes and she said (rough translation), "You have married an old boar, little one, and you will not escape without losing a few feathers." She may not have known all the narc vocab, but she sure knew the type.

Most of my healing started after I went no contact with my narcissistic parents. I was limited contact with them until I was 35 years old. Now I'm 42 and it's unbelievable how much I healed. I'm a completely different person.

You're in a constant case of fight or flight. No contact works but takes time. It's great to get back to your own identity.

I ended a relationship with a narcissistic boyfriend 5 years ago. What I know is that he has no idea of the maladaptive behaviours that are an integral part of who he is. Walk away is the watch word.

They get angry because all their “hard work” to break you down and make you compliant is getting undone. No wonder they get mad! To them, their abuse is necessary and helpful for how they survive and function. How dare someone disassemble what they worked so hard to create! Mental power over another human being takes time and effort to create and they hate seeing their efforts wasted and NOT get the reward that they were expecting and working toward (you, on a platter, giving endlessly so they can drain endlessly). You healing to them is you removing the opportunity they would have gotten through you…they’re like a spoiled child with their toy getting taken away. Now they have to start all over again with someone else and the real insult to injury is THEY weren’t the one in control of this process! THEY weren’t the one to discard you and be finished, what a wound to their ego twice! They have to be faced with the fact they aren’t as powerful as they like to think they are. And they’re lazy, now they have to find another way to extricate to meet their needs. Once this happens, they will always see you as the enemy (to them, you are) and seek to punish and sabotage you.

After listening to this today I realize that my abusive husband actually gives me a compliment when he states every now and then that I have changed so much and that I’m not anything like I used to be. Of course he doesn’t realize that statement unknowingly really encourages me 😊

It's quite the eye-opener when you realize that the most important part of you is being healed and they see those moments of healing as a ploy against them.

It's about them again. You are doing this to hurt them. You've gone no contact to hurt them. You're doing self development to hurt them. You're with that new guy/girl to hurt them. That last social media post you wrote was about them. Them, them & them. That is how a narcissist interprets your healing!!!😫😭

Let us all be thankful for the likes of Dr. C.

After 7 years of living with this twisted and evil person I closed the door. It will be a year on 27 July. The way to outsmart the narcissist is to discard them and maintain no contact. Validate yourself and become whole again.

I told my mom I was in therapy. She replied “Are you saying I’m a bad mother?” 🙄 I was 50 yrs old at the time.

Your healing is your LIGHT and your POWER is is enlightening 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

The covert narcissist I abandoned 8 years ago (yes, 8!) has recently hoovered me with 'love quotes'. One of them was: 'Loyalty is the most attractive thing.' I've healed a long time ago but I still observe, I simply do not absorb. This is what it's all about, 'how dare you move on', just like stated in the video. It's crazy that you could be simply living your life and in narcissists deranged mind they still think they have some kind of 'power' over you. Truth is, they never had any real power over you to begin with but it takes a long time to figure that out, explain it to yourself and eventually, accept it. So please know that these are not healthy people and if you have detached, you have nothing to do with them anymore, seriously. You owe them nothing 🙅‍♀

From my experience... not well. Not being a doormat makes you a moving target instead.

As a threat. They cannot control you anymore.

"You add to the quality of your life by subtraction." Resonates deeply. Almost 2 years no contact with my narc sister and her flying monkeys which include her children that I tried to protect. Now I protect myself. Dr C, thank you for guiding me to a healthier, reality based mindset. Not fully there, but I feel an "end" in sight. Don't know what that looks like, but I'll know when I get there.

I've stayed away from my family of origin for the past year and 9 months... I gotta say, what a relief it's been! I'm on a journey of healing and I'm very pleased I'm free to be me. God is walking with me on my journey. I deserve to heal everywhere I hurt. Thank you for your message of reassurance and validation. Give Gus a hug. ❤

Radical acceptance, calm confidence. I need this right now, thank you!!

Have discovered in the last 3 months that laughter is truly healing.Reunited with my youngest sister after 10 yrs. We have found so much to laugh about over the fact we both were married to a narcissist. We both went NO CONTACT with the Narcissist families we married into. What was not funny at the time rings funny now. We are both healing and moving forward with life. God has been good to us both and we both have ALOT of gratitude . Leaving the Narc's behind! Thanks Dr. C. Your wisdom is worth Gold!! Envy Guss's nap taking!!

I seem to attract narcissists wherever I go. People maltreat me because I have low self-esteem. I am not even aware of it. They puck it up from my body language. I've had many toxic friends and tolerated too much. I am probably toxic myself.

I got married moved away learned how to stick up for myself was told i was ruined. it's been decades now, i just learned about the smear campaign and why people i thought were good people turned their backs on me. Narcissists are the best at destroying their target.

"Being attached to a narcissist hurts & takes you away from who you can be." Yes, thanks for sharing your knowledge with us...❤

I was told “You ‘self-helped’ yourself right out of something great, this is ridiculous…” there was more before and after but that was it, I was 100% done.

After 43 years - me beeing now 53 yo - i am free from my mother's power.She "is done with me because i am soooo disrespectful " to her.And i am happy that i found this chanell and a wonderful comunity who helped me getting through all the nightmare my whole life was untill three month ago.Thank all of you from south-eastern Europe.

I'd like to thank YOU, Dr. C, for helping us with our healing journeys 🙏. I've been watching your videos for a few years now and, for the first time in my life, at nearly 53, I'm actually becoming assertive & not silently tolerating bad behaviour. I'm so thankful for you & all you do ☺️❤️

100% accurate! I've discovered, through several narcs, that the punishment is lessened by cutting them out of your life completely. With this last one, I never introduced him to my circle of friends, so he slandered away to a bunch of flying monkeys who I didn't want in my life anyway.

I was in charge of damage control. I left. He couldn’t control all of the damage he wreaked. He collapsed. He loved watching me spin in reaction to all of the crazy he created. But he also lost his ability to stay in control of his own life.

So true. He was very punishing. No more. I feel freedom even facing all that happened. Healing daily.

I think they view our healing as a threat. I'm embroiled in trying to extract myself from my current situation. Now I'm getting comments like "he's not needed" and "all I want is for him to commit suicide", blah, blah. I was doing okay, but have gotten a little depressed and stressed from this. Plus, every time I walk by he'll say "I've got a question for you". Trying to converse in response to that statement is an exercise in futility. I'm thankful I can vent here, and thankful for Dr. Carter's tips on how to deal with these difficult people.

You are a treasure, Dr. Carter. Thank you so much for your insight and compassion.

Yup, mine scoffed when I was talking to her about self development.. that alone shows how little they respect you

They interpret healing as rejection, a personal attack, and proof of your insanity

It's all happening to me because I'm trying to heal while divorcing him and trying to keep a roof over my head. He says all those horrible things While he spends thousands on his new supply and moved her into our house.

I'd say Threats. Narcissist view everything productive as threats. Because the world revolves around them. Forcefully so. I myself have narcissist parents. Older sisters. And an older brother in law. I probably am a bit of a narcissist myself. Overcoming these issues has been a focus and a challenge to Not become so overly focused on these issues. As narcissist want to be the bane of your existence. They want you to feel like crap. Have pain and hurt. And definitely sadness on account of them. They want to control others thru their words and emotions. And it's all for them to feel love. Crazy to think that someone with mental health issues such as a narcissist or sociopath wants to hurt you so that they can feel connection. But that's what they offer. Lies are normal and regular behavior. Truth is exposure, and they never ever want to be exposed. Will say anything to keep the momentum coming their way in the form of, All thoughts are about them. Gaslighting is normal behavior as well. Alignment is far from regular behavior, as they trash everyone behind their backs. And to their faces very abruptly. I have been laughed in my face by these people who hurt me, Because they feel laughing is an upperhanded maneuver, rather than listening to their faults and responsibility. All of this is hard. But to take a step back, My family is no different than lots of families and friends out their. Mine, others. It's just the way of the world. Looking for the good people is hard for me these days. But I don't give up. Maybe even my own family will learn to chill out. But those come in moments. And they are fleeting. Feeling trapped with these people can make me feel angry, but again, who cares what they feel or think. Most Narcissist want slaves. People they own control bully push around and question why you think for yourself. Sometimes physically trapping you to control you thru fear. Sad sad people. Dangerous people. And life is way important thah wasting ones time trying to interact with them. I just Don't. They cry and talk. But they so that with each other anyway. And whatever image they project I don't pay attention either. If everything a narcissist brings to the tabke is bashing people, and i get bashed for being me and being a value and a good person. Then I already know I'm on the right track. I don't need some jerk giving me any affirmation.

Imo 'calm confidence' is everything. Who can shake you, upset you, rattle you, confuse you, hurt you, etc. if you are knowing and secure and calm at your core? Know what you know, know if/when you don't know something (and find out about it). There's only 8 billion other people walking around...you can forego a narcissist!

Healing is slow because narcissists attack your spirit.

holy cow! Dr. Carter so nails it with how this insanity works and what it feels like, when nobody in normal world would even begin to get what this is about.

'YES!...working on this [being a person of peace] for the rest of my life' - Thank You! Dr. C

THE NARC EX DID EXACTLY EVERYTHING THAT YOU SPOKE ABOUT. It’s scary how accurate you are. He even used several of the exact words and phases you mentioned. Calling me things like “loser”, saying I went “against him”, and that “everyone knows I’m a liar”. They are pathetic and will try their absolute best to tear you completely down if you allow them to.

What's shocking is her sheer stamina with all of these attacks, she just doesn't get tired of being a bully. The poison keeps coming and coming and coming... There's no change in behavior whatsoever. (we are going through a divorce). Even as she started working on husband #2 I thought there would be a let up, but no, there hasn't been. But I'm soooooo extraordinary thankful to be separated. What I'm going through now is nothing compared to the slavery and mental torture I went through while married. Thank you for your video's!!! They've been a BIG help.

The ex-narc viewed my healing as some kinda weakness! So glad I purged that individual from my healing and growing life!😊

Well they get one thing right ... I am rejecting their way of processing life. So be it....Thank you once again Dr. Carter.🤗

Imprisoned by their own dysfunction is absolutely true. I've found as I've tried to heal from a lifetime of abuse, no one in my family (the abusers) has been on my side or even given me a high five that I'm TRYING to do better. All they do is sling mud and insults about how I've "changed" because I don't play these stupid games anymore. No one has listened to me when I've asked them to understand how I ended up the way I did; they take no responsibility for their roles. I have to be sympathetic to them because their lives were hard, but they show me none of that respect in return. It's madness. I can tell that I have changed and I am healing just by how hard they're coming at me when I set a boundary, stick up for myself, or say no. So that's fine, that's fine. I can't go no contact now, but as soon as I can, it's over. I don't need this in my life anymore, nor do I want it. Thank you, Dr. C.

“You’ve changed.” “You are not the man I married.” The first statement allowed her to assign all the blame in relationship difficulties on to me. The second allowed her to justify whatever she wanted, because she didn’t agree to be married to what I’d “become,” so any (meaning hers) marital vows were nullified.

"adding to one's life by subtraction" very good mantra when it comes to pruning the "dead wood."

My goal is to find the inner peace that Gus has! Your videos are helping me to slowly close in. Thanks much!

When the now ex/friend realised all the work I'd done on healing worked and I was doing great these days, he started describing in detail all the ways I was wrong headed and really quite fragile (nope), every time we spoke. When I called him on it, he actually said (out loud!) "all I ever wanted was for you to need me and you took that away from me." He's no longer in my life. If you're willing to try to undermine me just so I'll collapse into needing you, there's the door, don't come back.

As soon as I got wise to my narcissistic mom and started healing, all her tactics and anger just seemed like proof that I was on the right path. She couldn’t hurt me anymore. I did feel sad to have to accept the full truth that she never loved me and never would. After her rage, like any bully she just went her own way.

They view it as you becoming a bad heartless person when they can’t blow you up using emotions and sensitive information exploitation. Realizing that no one with narcisism is an arbiter of who is good or bad is very liberating.

I've not been a victim of Narcissism, but know people who have that are close to me. I see Narcs as weak, small bugs!

yes being attached to a narcissist does hurt! But they are incapable of empathy so they will never see this. So, when you detach and go to heal yourself, they will not get it. They will just continue abusing you in their mind. But luckily you won't even care.

Forcing others you love to go along with their narrative against you.

Yes. I’m seeking healing and not everyone like it, for sure.

Narcissists will ALWAYS see you and your life as a bit of a joke , so your healing will just be ridiculed too ! Every time a narcissist laughs WITH you , they are really laughing AT YOU !! It's always about making themselves feel better ,..better than EVERYONE else ! More great content once again , and always appreciated ! Big appreciation from all your enlightened UK followers from across the Pond ! 🙏👍❤️

He told me that nobody ever loved me as much as he did & I replied that it never felt like ❤ just hurt 🤦‍♀️ he’s truly clueless about love…

"no one can take initiative for me except me" wow, step mom used to always offer up my services to their friends and family without my knowledge or consent and when she'd ask me to do it, she would ask me to do it for her. As if I would only be willing do a favor for her friend on her behalf. So controlling and entitled, so boundary violating and abusive. I went along with it for a long time as a kid but as I got older it would enfuriate me. I'm willing to help anyone in need, I don't have to do it on her behalf. Such rubbbish. Egomaniac, she wanted to take credit for it all.

My sister and I were raised on a small ranch in the middle of the woods. My dad was a firefighter and was as gone a lot of the time. My mother is a full-blown narcissist. I was always the black sheep and my sister was the Golden child. A few years ago my sister and I stopped talking for a year-and-a-half. It was a time in my life when I grew more than ever as I only was dealing with one narcissist instead of two. She came back into my life because our mother is suffering from dementia and my sister wants her piece of the pie. They are so alike.... it's creepy!! My mother flat out told me that she thinks I am a piece of shit. I have had lots of success in my life and have a deep happiness within me because of all of the healing that I have done. My mother is filled with so much hate because of the light that I have from inside. I see her as a very vicious, vindictive hateful old woman who will go out of this world exactly the way that she lives her life. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to be full of such hatred for people. I can assure you that both my narcissistic mother and sister can not stand that I am no longer nor will I ever be again their whipping post.

One phrase you said really (finally) helped me... you will be on this healing path "for the rest of your life"... I've been impatient with myself on this path and your phrase gave me permission to keep on going forward no matter how slow and daunting the journey. This helps when I slip into the mindset to "get over it already". I moved away 20 years ago (and haven't seen her since) and this July marks a year since I've spoken to her. I'm still writing "gray rock" letters since my brothers live with her, but even that is slowing to a crawl. I'm tired, Dr. C., but your words gave me the push I needed. Thank you...

I think that they interpret your healing as independence from them. Then they lose their supply!!!

I started working with a shaman to heal my issues with my toxic sisters. Once my sisters could feel the amazing changes I've been making they told me that the shaman I've been seeing has put negative energy in me and I'm "possesed" all because I am no longer taking their crap anymore.

The narcissist "blames" my healing on the therapist. 🤫🤔😊

Hi everyone. This title really got me thinking in many healthy ways.....we CAN heal,...they CAN'T, healing means growing and learning, healthy self care...looking inside ourselves and identifying stuff we need to work on...and we DO....and when we learn how to, we feel free and genuinely content. All unknown concepts to the N's and the toxics, so they feel fear. And, as always, because we are NEVER allowed to do anything by and for ourselves, they :hate" us for it, triggering their rage and craziness etc. Cheers all, gratitude as always🙏🙏🌞🌞

Hello Dr. Carter thank you another insightful video. I AM HEALED. ❤❤❤❤

"addition via subtraction". love that. thank you!

You don't have to work at someone treating you nice. Set a boundary. Block, move on. Heal. Trauma bond kept us from setting boundaries, because we saw that treatment as normal.

Math metaphor works! Subtracting a negative is adding a positive 😂

Thank you Dr.C. you're so right about everything. Its so very true. I enjoy watching your videos. It has helped me alot. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. I got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am 47 female who is the oldest out of five children my parents had. I always been the black sheep in my family. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. Jesus is our hope. God is Love. I been to celebrate recovery that has helped me. I been a Christian for over ten years. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. I got support from my friends from church. Be careful not everyone who goes to church are True Christians. We know them by there spirits if they are from God or not. Greater is He who is in us than He who is in the world.1John 4:4 I walk away from Narcissists. I stay calm and quiet. Its not worth it to say anything to Narcissists since they dont get it at all. Narcissists are liars Narcissists never loved us At all Narcissists don't care about you at all Narcissists are broken people Narcissists are insecure people Narcissists always act like they are the victim Narcissists are pure evil souls from the Devil Narcissists are fake and phony people.

Such an inmense gratitude, dignity, respect, loyalty with team healthy, civility, moving on calm firmness. I can't repay in any other way than living my life commited to love. Thank you so much.

Your descriptions of a plan for healing are SO helpful! I knew I would have to have Calm Confidence when I finally resigned. I knew the Covert Narcissist Boss would give the silent treatment and begin a smear campaign against me. The Malignant Narcissist Boss would throw a huge fit and shout insults and threats. I was exactly right about both!! On my last day, she sent me a dozen texts before I even arrived at the office, accusing me of being late. I had to run a work-related errand before I arrived (which she was aware of because I'd put it on my calendar weeks before.) All week long, she was telling me, "You'd better leave EVERYTHING here in the office for the next person, and if I call you with questions, you better answer your phone! ONLY take what actually belongs to you! Do NOT take our materials or supplies! And don't even THINK of sharing our confidential information with anyone! And finish ALL of your projects before you leave!" When it was finally time for me to turn in my keys, she asked, "Well?? Don't you have anything to say??....You're not even going to answer me??" I replied, "We all get to choose which direction we want to take in life. I'm choosing to go in another direction. I wish you the best of luck. But please understand. I no longer have anything to say to you all, and I don't want anything to do with you. Goodbye." I breathed the BIGGEST sigh of relief when I walked out that door! They were so FURIOUS when employees resigned (and several of us did.) We all used the Grey Rock method and did not engage any more than we had to. It is so helpful! They loved to belittle, insult, and antagonize people, and when we refused to engage, it DIFFUSED the situation. Thank you, Dr. C!! I can't tell you how much you have helped me and my friends.

Dr. Les, I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate all you do to help others heal from Narcissist abuse. I have ADHD, Dyslexia and sometimes have a hard time listening to spoken concepts. When you provide examples of various scenarios, it really helps me to comprehend the messages you have given which are very helpful to my healing process. I hope and pray much success for your effort. I believe there will be a great award waiting for your in the Messianic Kingdom to come for all your selfless diligence in sharing with others. Keep up the good work! Shalom. :)

I needed to hear all of this, but especially when you said, "I'm pulling for you." Thank you so much! Getting tough IS tough. But I am going to try this time. REALLY try. And that encouragement helps SO MUCH! 🖤

I have experienced the narcissist(s) being suspicious about my apparent healing from my real physical injuries sustained during narcissistic abuse that became violence at times. Instead of feeling regret about what they did and joy when seeing the miracle of me fully healed in mind with only physical scars left slowing me down only a little thanks to medical treatment making up for the same they only wanted to be constant continuing to look most for validation that they remain superior in constitution than me. It is almost like they are becoming more and more willfully blind and deaf while trying to hang onto more and mroe the illusion that they are omniprescent superior to others in order to feel more secure within themselves. Now it is almost as if I can detect that kind of attitude in a person's voice and body language now after getting to know them only for a much shorter time when before it would take me about a year to discern that is true in a person towards me. Sometimes that negative attitude towards me is only commonplace egocentricity while we get to know one another better.

The beauty of it all is I am finally cured of the awful, and thankfully short-lived, disease to please and am firmly replanted back inside the familiar comfort of abiding joy and cheerfully optimistic nature I was born with; to which the writings in my 63yo baby book, as well as my enduring relationships, can attest. I am happy to be excited about the future again now that I've re-focused my energy and reclaimed my power through a series of critical choices. For the past two weeks and for the first time ever, I've been the recipient of the classic 'punishment' of the narcissist: The Silent Treatment. There have been occasions to pass one another in the dining room. I surprised even myself when, two days in and without a thought, I spontaneously offered her a sincere smile and genuinely cheerful 'good morning'. This unexpected, subconscious reaction lies largely on the gift she unwittingly gave; space to examine my options and add up the length and breadth of my control over ~ and responsibility for ~ her and others like her. After doing the math, it repeatedly came up zero. That was truly liberating. It's become clear to see who is 'losing' when my DIL responds with her usual icy grunt and perpetual scowl, while I am, once again, a happy human of calm demeanor and peaceful spirit, enjoying another wonderful day on earth. Who's winning here? 🤗

I spoke to the X Narc considering my daughters wedding. “Can we behave as old friends, for our daughter.” Response was… yeah! Too bad you couldn’t see this earlier! You’ve been so disagreeable!”.. here we go. I survived by avoiding. Wedding was beautiful.

Not crying, or collapsing, drinking heavily or being emotionally disregulated makes them angry because they feel less necessary. Sadly they don't stop to consider how it makes you feel - more stable.

I’ve divorced the narcissist…(he began w gaslighting, then demeaning me, then ghosted, then discarded me (hallelujah) but I find myself hiding the good things that happen now to me, because I know if he knows, he finds excuses to stay…so I have to hide raises, promotions, new friends or jobs, etc…if he knew I was doing so much better, he’d find a way and reason to stay/come back around…but I hate having to hide…

'Exaggerated Invalidation' - that's so interesting. I always learn something new here!

I pondered this issue and like to share with others: what if the narcissist was given an ecstasy pill to raise his empathy levels. So quickly I found out there was a controlled test in Germany on this and the conclusions were- they didn’t show any improvement on top what they already have, which is a 2 year old empathy level. Actually the emotions that were enhanced are those of a 2 year old- jealousy and other negative stuff. My personal conclusion is that narcissism is a disability of the brain and you simply cannot give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they will change. Can feel sorry for them but be smart and do not show them that because they will use it against you. I believe They are jealous of people with empathy so they find ways to use that empathy against them and that makes them feel they are superior and in control even though they are inferior and insecure.

This gentleman is such a gem. For over 20 years I have been dealing with a daughter in law whom, I now have realized is a narcissist? For years I tried to please her, hoping she would like me. I cannot tell how my life was filled with fear at losing my son. The information here is a life saver. It has taken me years but I feel I am on the right track. I no longer go to their house with stomach cramps. I do feel my son has changed. I see the manipulations. It has been a long road but I need to let go. In a way, I feel I need to thank her (inwardly). She has been instrumental in my gaining inner strength, in accepting myself. Her girlfriends ignore me, are really so unfriendly towards me. I wonder why? But that also has helped me gain strength. I need to be ok with me and they can talk or think whatever they wish. I try to love her but I am starting with full acceptance that this will never change. She must feel so desperate inside. Love to everyone❤️

Today is exactly 8 months since i caught on. Fortunately, i was able to leave two weeks later. Those two weeks, and the absolutely surreal week that led to me catching on were torture, & im disabled because of the mental damage. BUT. I do a lot of very deliberate work on emotional growth. Looking back, this video sounds very familiar. Im really proud of myself, because i eventually outgrew his ability to control me. I have a lot of healing to do, and this is one of the hardest things ive ever done. But i realized almost immediately how squeezed i had been and how many possibilities i have now. I want to heal enough to go back to work, but im also welcoming this as a time to rest and reevaluate.

Thank you! My husband and I are both trying to heal now bc we are done walking on eggshells with our DIL and our son. You have hit every issue that we have gone thru. Thank you again and I will continue to listen❤

My mother sent my father to jail on false charges when he tried to take me and escape her.. then when I tried to leave my mother she did the same thing to me.. Narcissists are bloody dangerous.

Quote from "The Secret Garden" book: "Where you tend a rose, a thistle can not grow." Let's tend to our mental health and thrive. Make no room for the narcissistic thistles.

My brother and i have come to the realization that both our parents are nercissists: one overt and the other covert. Before i realized they were NPD, I told my parents that my goal as a parent was to build on what they did well and not repeat the mistakes they made. One would think a parent would be proud of a child for trying to better themselves (i would be), but they viewed it as treason. By refusing to engage in dysfunctional behavior, it was like i was rejecting the core values of our family. If you have narcissistic parents, do not fall into the hope trap that they will be better gramdparents than they were parents. They wont be. They dont think they did anything wrong as parents, so why would they change as grandparents?

When I healed in that relationship before I left. I changed completely. I no longer reacted to his triggering words and actions. He was completely convinced that I was acting until he met my real estate and escrow agents 😉

I know there are many who cannot leave, but I knew the only way to heal and find myself again was get away from him and all the flying monkeys. My life went from night to day immediately. I watch as many of these as I can so I never forget and continue to be my most healthy self. No contact is so needed and I feel so sorry for those who cannot do that 😢

The narc may misinterpret healing as disloyalty. More importantly, I do hear your heart! Encouragement makes it possible to embrace the radical acceptance that leads to peace . Thank you!

I’ve upgraded my Core Content from “broken and needs fixing” to “work in progress” 🙌 thank you Dr C!

Narc says ,your changed ,you say I know I'm not your doormat no more . Get your own dinner !

My daughter narcissist discarded me. Thank God 😂😅. I am grieving the loss of my grandchildren, though. I was there when their parents were going through addiction. I pray for them, and of course all children. Plus, my narcissist sister has been triangulating everyone in the family against me 😢 I rejected her abuse few years ago. My daughter was the last one 😢

God continue to bless you in providing such wisdom to us who have narcissists in our lives.