I have to remind you, this is not therapy

@@spacecadetred2388 easier to win that way

@@spacecadetred2388 now that's what i call winning mentality

@@spacecadetred2388 otherwise she would have been diagnosed.

love it man you captured in comment what I was thinking too

That's just perfect.

This exactly. It felt like watching emily playing mental health chess, but her opponent was trying to help her.

she is trying to talk over her feelings and push every bad emotion she can possibly feel in the back... but i think in the eyes of people she would be liked even more if she would step out of the mask sometimes. It wouldnt hurt her stream. I saw her a couple of times back than i really enjoyed her energy but wasnt genuine.. All in all she is cool person and more people needs to be like this but she really should take care of herself and her feelings. Just my thoughts.

​@@benkesallaiWhen she got mad at Miz for the meme everyone genuinely thought she was upset with him. That's how little she shows other emotions on stream. Im sure shes gonna get better her huge popularity is a little bit new. I bet she'll be more genuine in time

Him trying to give therapy must be like the last level of a video game for a therapist. Like Danganronpa

so what did you learn? lol

It almost feel like she's afraid to feel other emotions by being the beacon of happiness.

i know right :(

Heartbreaking but also "THIS!" - people who went to theraphy can relate, there is this moment where you pull away all the layers and it’s just you and an emotion you tried so fucking hard to hide. That is the breakthrough.

you can literally see her eyes well up with tears the first time K says the words 'im going to be proud of you' oh i bet that hits the gut like a brick because anyone with strict parents knows they just dont say those words

"Uuuhhh, then why are you about to cry?"

Yeah that's what made me unable to watch this. It's so uncomfortable. It's just like she cant stop and just relax and be herself. Just looking at her face makes me so uncomfortable with the amount of a performative mask she has on.

@@Samuel-sg2iv For what it's worth, they address and discuss this and it comes down as the conversation progresses

I mean that's a sign a conversation like this is really needed. Talking to someone who is very in touch with their emotions would be less effective since they would already be half way there, so this is a great opportunity to do good.

​@@Samuel-sg2ivI feel like the way she is and acts is pretty genuine though. There's no 'fakeness' in the way she acts just because she acts more bubbly and bright than other people. But there's certainly like an unprocessed emotions and stress built up inside her that makes her cry, laugh, deflect altogether simultaneously when trying to get in touch with her vulnerable part.

I'd argue people like to be the change they want tto see in others

I feel like I'm watching myself at 18 years old talking to a psychologist. It was way too relateable and personal

​@@MELLMAO Same! I even thought I was playing off "being fine" well and watching this now makes me realize everyone else saw right through it.

​@@lynnespinoza4736 ohhh yes, it's pretty embarassing to realize how easy it was for everyone to see, but also very natural if our emotional intelligence wasn't there yet

@@MELLMAO commented this same thing. It’s rare to find, cus these people are rare. Just glad to have found it

Strong and brave is not hiding your true emotions behind a fake smile and laugh.

Her goal is to look good and not disappoint other. She is brave but she may need to care less about what others feel. She thinks about others too much. People are shit, no matter how good she be to others, people will use her innocence for their selfish goals. I have been "good guy" my whole life and I realized this when I lost everything I care and love except my family. Being too good is not good. @@dawgyv72

​@dawgyv72 strong and brave is gritting your teeth through something terrifying. She might not have the skill to do it well, but she still met the challenge head on

@@hartssquire9386 Brody…it’s Twitch streaming. She plays games for a living. It’s not that deep.

@paperbag4477 you must be new here, lol. Someone's ability and right to feel emotional distress over sharing something painful and personal in front of an audience isn't dependent on their profession

honestly its a pretty fun easter egg when she or the kids break up the tension

The same thing happened to me so thanks for sharing your experience. I was actively fighting the urge to judge for a while. In all honesty, I think I see a part of myself in her that I'm ashamed of. BUT she's just a person dealing with her issues and we all have our own idiosyncrasies and traumas. Poor girl, I feel for her. She seems like a goodhearted person. I think this type of content is really great and helps teach us to not be horrible to one another.

You have people like Ninja who are the complete opposite. Will be toxic because he doesnt have a desire to please people. He only cares about what he wants. That's fine. Free will. But i find him hard to watch for that reason. Then you have Emily on the opposite end. Wherever a situation goes, she will be happy and ok with it because she has over her life been programmed to be a people pleaser. Im likely alone here but i prefer the Emily's over the Ninja's. Emily does a good job at toxic banter on stream sometimes. We all know shes joking but it gives that nice variety where shes not constantly nice you know?

Beautiful comment. I am used to having knee-jerk judgments for people like Emily too, but the older I get, the more I realize that 99.99% of the time when I’m triggered it points to something within me and nothing to do with the person I think it does.

it's understandable to be annoyed at those who put masks on. Society always puts these terrible stigmas of not being authentic and it can be hard for those who aren't authentic. I used to be annoyed with people who were masking themselves because I was so annoyed with myself for doing the same thing. my anger towards inauthentic people was just a projection of how I felt about myself. I hated myself for being inauthentic so I started to hate watching other people be inauthentic. Now I love watching people who put masks on because I feel so empathetic to them. I watch them and feel so sad for them and I feel how hard it is to have this expectation of being perfect.

Well, thanks for your comments and empathy. I'm just glad that no-one took it the wrong way. Cheers.

lmao so true

No one? It's the internet, if someone was cutting onions then it wouldn't affect u through the screen...

@@SistoActivitatemAtm i think it’s supposed to be a humorous figure of speech for suddenly tearing up. i thought it was amusing :)

@@hallehuckleberry oh I see, thank you!

@@SistoActivitatemAtm no problem!! take care :D

I'm glad that (presumably) things are better now :) In future, afaik lack of breast milk can be caused by not consuming enough animal fats. Something to try next time. (Raw animal fats preferably.) In fact that's the case for a looot of modern health issues :) Also in stead of formula, I'm sure you've looked into it, but there's like women whose job is to breast feed children haha, like "lend their boob" to the mother having issues.

I've never heard about this specifically and I'm really glad i did today. One single person can have a huge impact on someone struggling like this. I'll definitely talk about about it to friends too

Tf is wrong with people. Like I’m all for eating healthy, but formula and milk make no damn difference. I’m so sorry you experienced such shame. I hope you dumped that friend.

​@@mrs.quills7061 I came her to say the same. Shitty friend, I had a lot of "friends" like that, and I dumped them all through lockdown. I was so acostummed to criticism I was in denial. I didn't registered as criticism. But criticism and feedback are not the same! Not even close 🧐

@@mrs.quills7061 It's a shitty friend yes, but it makes a difference, let's not be ignorant. Look at the ingredients in both, completely different lol

I see what you're talking about now. She feels like she has to perform or people please.

People seem to think that in order to be likeable you have to be positive always, but that's actually something that makes me not like a person as much, or at least not the facade they show to the environment. You just know that if someone doesn't have a balance between positive and negative emotions, that there's something going on backstage you don't get to see because it's either too painful for them or they are too insecure about it. It's not productive at all to get frustrated with their happy persona, I know, but I always think it's such a loss, because there is always so much more to a person that they think they shouldn't show. And of course, some stuff people might want to keep entirely private, which is totally fine, but there's a certain honesty that gets lost when you're always positive about everything, because everyone knows that life is really fucking hard sometimes so there's no point in not acknowledging that.

@@redorchidee1372 completely agree with you, it’s frustrating in a way and I feel and for feeling frustrated. Maybe because it triggers times we remember doing that occasionally yet she is doing it often and we can empathise with how painful it is to be forcefully cheerful. Of course being positive has its benefits but in order to be positive, you must also contrast or feel the negative at times too. That brings true inspiration to people as it shows that it’s still possible to lift yourself up afterwards rather than being unrealistically happy all the time. Being private is very important, especially as a public figure but their needs to be a human balance. I hope she realised she can still be just as positive and uplifting without sacrificing other human emotions. In fact, she could be an even greater positive force to people if she allows herself to feel, overcome and share the not so cheerful moments. Then she could feel more genuine happiness that can be felt by others more as well.

She's cute but seems incredibly fake to me :( She has a reaction/response immediately to everything Dr. K says, without allowing any pause to really listen to what he just said.

@@hellosherbear reactive personality

I feel that -- as a girl, I was always taught to make the men in my family happy, peace keeper, not show any emotion but happiness (while suppressing my own emotions). I would get yelled at if I started to cry. So I grew up a people pleaser with a go-lucky attitude, and people thought I was fake -- when it was just how I was conditioned as child, not allowing to show my emotions.

that's not especially rare as a case >

...have you followed? It's BECAUSE she has so much weight on her shoulders that she FORCES HERSELF to Always be happy and upbeat.

No. It's because she's forcing herself to be so happy that she got so much weight on her shoulders. The other way around​@@blop-a-blop9419

​@@DarkFoxV¹1a²²àa!

Same, not Asian but from a similar highly performance based culture, oldest of three girls, and totally resonate with Emily's family history

@@progressivedragon6664 For me it was mostly the combination of baby boomer parents, strict expectations around getting consistent A grades, the implicit expectations that came with two younger brothers, dad climbing the career ladder moving us all around from ages 6-12, joining Corporate America at 15, going to college out of state, and moving around the country every 12 months for a rotational program after graduating college until 25. I learned to prioritize my goals over my well-being.

Something else to take away..is that through this..she has accomplished far more than 99.9 percent of people have. So perhaps…it’s a superpower and you’re just seeing the equal balance of negative…yet…she’s still above. Aka…maybe bringing her back to “normal”..isn’t the best option.

My main complaint is the classic Asian parenting. I relate to Emily, but in many ways I'm her opposite and broke in the other direction under the weight of expectation. If she's upbeat and outgoing, I'm sour and pessimistic and don't really see any value in pleasing others to the point that I probably come across as rude, stubborn and inconsiderate. I underachieved while she grinds. She has hope for a future at the end of the grind but I see nothing but emptiness and endless future of struggle and burdens. But Emily's story still seems so familiar to me. The complaint I have is that the older generations are always good at taking care of the physical needs of their children, especially if they come from economically disadvantaged or poor nations. Americans went through the same kind of crisis in the 50's after the end of the Great Depression and World War II. They were poorer and there were many obvious external physical challenges like poverty and war. It's really hard to talk about internal demons when you have these other more basic needs that go unmet. So that's what they provide for their children. In essence, this is what the movie The Graduate and the hippie counterculture movements were about. You can have all the material success in the world, but this alone doesn't seem to make humans happy. Instead they come to grapple with a great nihilism that consumes them. Doctor K talks about this in some detail in other videos. It seems rational that mental well being is correlated with physical success. Except it doesn't quite work that way. As he mentions working with people who are financially successful but then feel empty or lacking direction in their lives after "making it." (Doctor K also speaks about how Buddha was a prince prior to being an ascetic. And that great success and wealth seems to be correlated to people then going off and searching for meaning.) A lot of SEA nations emerged rapidly into postindustrial economies after a period of war and poverty and we're still feeling the shock of that. With wealth, we imagine we have slain all the great dragons. So our parents just have the rational plan for us to inherit the material wealth they could never have. Their kids just have to buckle down and take prestige jobs. You know these: Doctor, layer and engineer. The weight of the expectations that Asian parents put on their kids always confused my peers. Emily was told to be an engineer and she just didn't fit. I have a similar story. (Though ironically, it turns out I'm a better engineer than I thought. Another amusing opposite to Emily.) This older generation of parents have no idea what to do when their kid don't fit. It's not that my parents didn't try their best with what limited knowledge they had. But like many other Asian parents, I could see the pattern. They didn't love their kids for who they were. Didn't respect their personal emotional needs. All that was conditioned upon other external metrics of success. The "rational" plan. The kids are just lazy or weak or complain too much. I derailed the plan and was met with abuse, recrimination and outrage. Even the kids of my cohort who made a break into their dream job that they find fulfilling first go through a period of their parents "not getting it." The acceptance only comes after the obvious material wealth comes with the job playing video games. (I know a streamer like this, who did all the things "right" and all it did was make her a miserable and disposable crony of a corporation. To the point that it degraded her physical and mental health. Like the prince that had it all, she gave it up.) I probably have undiagnosed adhd and was on the spectrum. Therapists could not be trusted with secrets. That was the attitude my parents took. Besides, this talk of disorders are just excuses my lazy kid is making up. That's probably the attitude they and many other parents would take. But I see so many streamers now and the ones that seem healthiest and happiest? The ones that seem like they're freest and best able to flourish and tackle life's adversities? It's almost hard for me not to be jealous of the good relationships they had with their parents. Never seem embarrassed or insincere about their affections. They never make an secret of the good terms they're on. They positively radiate a sense of security and confidence that I will never really feel. And it almost makes me want to hate them for having what I can't. Real confidence, I have come to understand, is not conditioned on anything external. It's a paradox. But true nonetheless. Some of the most successful, powerful and beautiful people are also the weakest and most insecure. If mental well being were so easy, you would not see so many stories of their weaknesses on such full display. I wake every morning with a burden that I know will stay with me until the day I die. Sometimes I forget that I'm carrying it. The way you ignore a background noise. But it's always there. And I feel exhausted. I want to set it down, knowing that this is impossible. Only in sleep and in death will I ever escape it. Those kids that found a purpose in a career in streaming? They're lucky. I am not. I don't know what my purpose is. But I sense it is something terrible that must break me in its fulfillment.

​@@ved2360 thank you for sharing. Personally, I believe that life doesnt have a purpose until YOU make one y'know? Everyone's life is so different due to so many events and so many factors, many of which they can't control. A sense of meaning in life that's set by anyone but themselves? Can anyone else truly understand EVERYTHING a person feels or has experienced? Its up to you y'know? Find what makes you happy (or even content; an expectation of endless happiness is an unachievable goal by any human) and pursue it. As long as your passion isnt harming others or self destructive, it is a completely rational goal.

You deserve better too!

The killer thing is she *knows* burnout is inevitable if she continues to go the same way she has been. Its heartbreaking. I really hope she continues to get help 💜

yes she does, i would love to pet her and call her a good girl, give her some treats maybe

@@hado33_ 😦

Damn I wish I could be like this without feeling full body exhaustion from exerting so much mental energy

@@rsgomlftwit’s not possible, that’s why she’s exhausted :(

​@Knowledge I don't think she realises. When I'm out with my mates and we're having a good time it's like I'm on cracking but as soon as I get home, I feel my feet ache, thirsty, headache and am super tired. But during the activities I don't feel a thing.

adding to this... the whole interview hit incredibly close to home. I struggle with people pleasing too and relate hard to the need to seek parental approval. That if they didnt approve, you fail and failure is not an option... every time she broke into tears, i felt myself feeling those same tears. Feeling sadness when someone offers me encouragement and speaks truth over me rather than love. And the self blame.. it was hard and also very good to watch. I hope that she is able to move forward with herself in this. rooting for you, emily!

Put yourself first

Yes

Absolutely

for sure

Yes and it‘s portrayed perfectly in the movie Inside out.

toxic is in the quantity, not in the substance, even water is toxic.

Caffeine 😂 She seems Japanese in personality, like a lot of Japanese women talk and move like her. Idk if she's replicating it or authentic

@@ezaf5989 Who hurt you?

@@ezaf5989 No I don't. But I can't help it, I want to hug people that are sad and/or crying.

@@ezaf5989 Your unempathetic, uncalled and shitty opinion is just sad. Hope you find the help you need!

@@ezaf5989 its not that deep relax edge lord

@@ezaf5989 Go outside lil bro, hugging sad people is normal and a good thing to do.

Dr. K just working his magic.

I just noticed a bit of a facade drop at around the half hour mark. Not completely, but she switched gears around that point where she was a bit more able to articulate her real feelings. Was actually skimming the comments to see if it was just me.

@@jare3959 nope, not just you

@@jare3959 it was interesting to see dr k break down the facade. i could kind of feel how thrown off he was by it in the first half hour and then they both seemed to relax once it dropped.

She's expressive because she's doing what other people who I met in my life are like, masking happy happy happy I have to be happy happy happy 24/7 she even unfortunately says this herself so immediately to me it came across as annoying (not in a bad way just obvious)

She's not expressive. Expressiveness would be appropriate flexibility through the whole range of emotions (like a healthy human) PLUS being able to drive that through a bit stronger, or calm it down. In other words very very capable emotional regulation. She is stuck in "happy" due to her performance, which is not expressiveness. Just for your future reference, I hope that's helpful.

@@eduantech you're right shes technically not expressive of her true emotions or whatever but i just meant that she acts joyous and giddy in conversation which makes her seem welcoming and easy to talk to. i wish i could do that

Have you asked yourself why? Like why you're a robot and not expressive? That may be where the answer is. And then, ask yourself: Is this okay with you? Because it sounds like you're judging yourself :)

@@D_Jilla i probably know why, its just so hard to fix! i guess we create pathways in our brains and it takes time to rewire

That is such a massive problem. There are so many incompetent therapists it's not even funny. Dr. K is special but other therapists should at least be comparable. I've given up on therapy because of this and I'm positive millions of other people have as well.