How To Speak: 3 Secrets To Increase Your Personal Impact | Richard Newman

How To Speak: 3 Secrets To Increase Your Personal Impact | Richard Newman | TEDxUniversityofBristol

Рет қаралды 229,823

3 ай бұрын

NOTE FROM TED: This talk only represents the speaker's personal views and understanding of the brain, storytelling, and communication. TEDx events are independently organized by volunteers. The guidelines we give TEDx organizers are described in more detail here: storage.ted.com/tedx/manuals/t...
How can you increase your personal impact, influence and connection? Discover the science and secrets of storytelling, body language and heart led communication, which Richard Newman has been exploring for over 40 years. Learn about Richard’s journey from being an introverted, autistic child, to living in a Tibetan monastery, studying acting and creating unique research. Richard Newman is a communication coach, an award-winning speechwriter, and author of the books ‘You Were Born To Speak’ and ‘Lift Your Impact’. He is the Founder of UK Body Talk, coaching clients worldwide to enhance their business storytelling and personal impact. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 138

@hinicetrygoodbye 24 күн бұрын

I loved how genuine he was and how he didn't try to sound all fancy or formal. Being real like that is super important for making true connections, just like he talked about.

@TheAmendIsNow 15 күн бұрын

definitely, made it feel way more relatable and actionable

@-OpenDiary- 11 күн бұрын

Seeing him cry while rehearsing part of this talk was really powerful. It showed just how much reconnecting with vulnerability meant to him. Mad respect that he chose to include that

@kyleighmcdowell 5 күн бұрын

Absolutely, made him so much more endearing

@actionfigure2191 Ай бұрын

I really like how you talked about being a great speaker not just as a skill, but like it's a way to bring people together. It gives it a real sense of purpose beyond just personal success.

@artcornish3520 19 күн бұрын

His call to use our voices to bring people together and "tilt the world in a positive direction" was kind of wonderful. It makes me want to be more deliberate about connecting with others through how I communicate.

@TheAmendIsNow 15 күн бұрын

yeah exactly, what's the point in being able to communicate well if you're not using it to connect in a positive way

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

Thank you!

@hollytrichards Ай бұрын

His explanation of the head, hands, heart model is a game-changer for public speakers. Well done to him on going to such lengths to understand and improve himself.

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

Thanks Holly! Glad it resonated with you!

@sukyevers 22 күн бұрын

Yes! To everyone I think, not just public speakers.

@dannyduncduncan 16 күн бұрын

The scientific backing of his techniques adds a lot of credibility. Really appreciate the evidence-based approach over just opinion and experience

@ClusterofHope Ай бұрын

Loved how he talks about being open and brave and how it helps us make genuine connections. It's tempting to stay guarded and keep things shallow, but he's right - taking a chance on being rejected is worth it to feel fully alive and connected.

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

So glad this resonated with you!

@sukyevers 22 күн бұрын

Same, I thought this was so wonderful and brave on his behalf

@kiankaskert7925 2 ай бұрын

Really appreciate how he demystifies the art of communication with clear, actionable steps.

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thank you , glad you enjoyed it!

@VodkaByNight Ай бұрын

The personal story of overcoming communication barriers as someone who is introverted and autistic gives so much hope and inspiration to others facing similar challenges. Glad he was given the opportunity and platform to share his story and advice.

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

Thanks so much, glad you liked it!

@sukyevers 22 күн бұрын

Definitely, I have an autistic grandchild so seeing things like this is very reassuring

@hazrexall 2 ай бұрын

The part where he talked about the emotional masks we wear and the importance of vulnerability in genuine connections really struck a chord with me. It's crazy how much closer to someone you can feel once you've shared a moment that's rooted in being vulnerable

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

So true! Thank you.

@zacgulbranson 2 ай бұрын

Richard Newman is the absolute man! Such an inspiration . A wealth of knowledge, and great mind . Next level Richard , killing it!

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much Zac! I gave it my all!

@taylorpjansen 2 ай бұрын

Loved how he explained the Triune brain theory and how it relates to storytelling and communication. Making complex scientific concepts accessible is a true skill!

@liftretreat9821 2 ай бұрын

Thanks Taylor! Yes my goal is to make everything simple and straightforward for everyone.

@marisolroman0-0 17 күн бұрын

Honestly, I got a bit teary-eyed when he got emotional talking about his childhood struggles to connect. It just goes to show how everyone really craves belonging, especially when we're young

@bestnewtunes8363 26 күн бұрын

The idea of conversations being like a 12-lane highway totally made sense to me haha. As an introvert, I could really relate to that. I'm happy he figured out how to join in and make himself heard, especially by using things like acting techniques, I thought that part was really clever

@everybodyworksinsales 2 ай бұрын

As a fellow TEDx speaker, massive congratulations Richard. I remember reading the monk story in your first book, You Were Born to Speak which I absolutely love. This is a valuable talk and superb storytelling

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much Niraj! I appreciate your support!

@elisbrokli Ай бұрын

It’s incredible how small changes in body language can influence how others perceive and react to you!

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

So true!

@PostNowIMeanNow Ай бұрын

You could tell this topic wasn't just something he thought about academically, but a lifelong journey that came from personal pain. There's just so much emotion in it, it makes the importance of his message come through so strongly

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

Thank you 🙏

@sukyevers 22 күн бұрын

Yes, he really speaks from his experiences and it is a testament to the power of perseverance and self growth.

@frasernicholson8509 16 күн бұрын

It’s fascinating how he integrates scientific research with personal anecdotes to make his point about effective communication. The study involving 2000 people really adds credibility to his methods.

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

Thanks yes I was keen to get our theories validated by the best research team we could find.

@immayasass Ай бұрын

Wow the bit about going to live with the monks and teach them english is actually so clever. So much of communication is non-verbal, makes sense that it was such a valuable experience

@sukyevers 22 күн бұрын

It's an amazing thing for anyone to do, let alone an introverted autistic person

@camerongdowd 2 ай бұрын

From struggling to connect as a child to teaching monks and studying acting is very cool.

@colincampbell5068 2 ай бұрын

His approach to communication as an autistic person really strikes a chord, it's good for people to have this kind of insight

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Colin 🙏

@TheAmendIsNow 15 күн бұрын

oh wow I'd actually forgotten that he was autistic by the end of it lol

@oilverdennison Ай бұрын

The breakdown of how storytelling, body language, and emotional presence can be merged to improve personal impact was very insightful. It's amazing how simple adjustments in nonverbal cues can drastically change perception.

@sukyevers 22 күн бұрын

Yes, and it makes it all the more easier when we're aware of it

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

@oilverdennison 9 күн бұрын

@@richardnewmanspeaks I did, thanks for speaking...

@idimarus3278 Ай бұрын

I appreciate the practical advice on storytelling and engaging an audience effectively.

@granmabecker 2 ай бұрын

One of my grandkids is Autistic and I'm glad for people like Richard who are paving the way for younger people to have less difficult experiences with it. He's in his teens now and the way he jokes about it and allows other people to have fun with it is such a relief compared to how we thought things would be for him

@liftretreat9821 2 ай бұрын

Thanks! I’m glad you found this useful. It’s so important that we talk openly about these things, to help others.

@sukyevers 22 күн бұрын

Yes, same! And at first I'll admit I felt so heartbroken, thinking about how much harder life is going to be for them this talk and your comment gives me hope though, he's still a child but to think it isn't actually as big of a deal these days in terms of acceptance is really wonderful

@katyabradova 2 ай бұрын

That moment when he described his first day at school was heartbreaking but so powerful in understanding his journey.

@liftretreat9821 2 ай бұрын

Thank you Katya 🙏🏻

@katyabradova 2 ай бұрын

@@liftretreat9821 , you are so welcome...

@thedoctoryami 2 ай бұрын

Great talk from a dedicated speaker and teacher! So thankful for the work you’ve done to help us all be better communicators!

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much!!

@thephilosopher59 2 ай бұрын

Wow, I'm speechless in a good way. This has truly gone right to the heart of things. You may have heard these secrets before in different ways, though never like this. Definitely he walks the talk, exactly in what he's talking about. The best of all is his recommendation on what to drop. So worth watching, and more than once!

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much! I appreciate your message and feel grateful this connected with you.

@raquel-mercedes Ай бұрын

The scientific backing really strengthens his points on body language and communication effectiveness! Well done on putting it all together in a way that makes sense

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

I appreciate that!

@IAmTheRealJoker Ай бұрын

Acting as a tool to learn communication? That's a fresh perspective I hadn't considered.

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

It was a game changer for me!

@janetsplace1953 2 ай бұрын

3:45 I get this, connection is everything🥰🥰🥰

@ThePizzaPriestess 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for emailing this JP, wonderful - means a lot going through what I am.

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much, yes connection is so important! We need this to thrive!

@ThanhNguyen-pq4ky 2 ай бұрын

Thanks for such an inspirational speech, Newman.

@ThePizzaPriestess 2 ай бұрын

A simple practice for a complicated life, I needed this today; thank you, Richard!

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks! Yes my aim was to keep this simple and easy for everyone to benefit from.

@Gemmasnewman 2 ай бұрын

Such a brilliant talk 🗣️ that needs to be seen by everyone. I loved the tip on standing and especially the palms up and palms down concept. So simple yet crazily effective!!

@jordanbaslier 2 ай бұрын

Pretty awesome that he got to teach english in a tibetan monastery like that has to have been an epic experience

@granmabecker 2 ай бұрын

Yes! How amazing that would have been for him

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Yes - it was life defining for me!

@EverDragMedia 5 сағат бұрын

Definitely felt the chaos and anxiety in his description of conversation as a 12-lane highway. It really can be so overwhelming

@idanowser 20 күн бұрын

The 12 lane highway thing absolutely resonated with me. I have talking over people or being talked over so if I'm in a group setting that's more than like 2 other people I just won't make any conversation.

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

So glad this resonated with you! I have discovered a few ways into a conversation that may help - I may gently touch the arm of the person talking when I want to interject, or take a breath in while slightly leaning forwards. You'll see other people do this instinctively in conversation and it essentially creates an on-ramp for you to join in.

@idanowser 13 күн бұрын

@@richardnewmanspeaks it did thank you

@jemmajames5056 2 ай бұрын

Love this! Thank you for sharing your insights Richard. Inspiring!

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much Jemma! I appreciate your support!

@judeblyth3606 Ай бұрын

That shove experiment was funny! It showed how even small changes in posture can make you seem more confident and powerful. I'm definitely keeping my feet shoulder-width apart from now on

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

Thanks Jude!

@---nameless--- 11 күн бұрын

Wasn’t sure about the effectiveness of nonverbal communication changes, but his research proves it works. Gonna try it.

@thebespokedoctor 2 ай бұрын

What an amazing talk….. I learned so much..! Thank you for your vulnerability and expertise.. you’ve communicated your knowledge beautifully! ❤

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Thanks so much! So pleased that you liked it!

@maryyouson4404 Ай бұрын

The idea that storytelling is what makes humans the dominant species is so interesting... I've never heard or thought that.

@skyec8562 Күн бұрын

The stuff about body language changing based on differet professions was pretty interesting too! I feel like I'm going to be paying more attention to that kind of stuff now

@jakobdewl 2 күн бұрын

Love this kind of content, so many more people are neurodivergent and need this kind of help than what we realize

@skyec8562 Күн бұрын

Absolutely!! So many more people are neurodivergent than even they realize 😂😂

@fonzellevon 7 сағат бұрын

the idea of communication as a learnable skill gives me hope that I can improve too.. I always thought some people were just naturally good at it and those who aren't have to stay like that

@umadelecois Ай бұрын

Oh wow I can't believe he got teased so early on. I was also brutaIIy teased all throughout grade school and well into my teens but I remember the first couple of years of school were actually nice. Like everyone got along, there wasn't that mean kid buIIy vibe yet.

@randomthought1556 Күн бұрын

Lots of great advice here, I've worked with several autistic people and it seems like more and more they're just leaning into it like "oh well it's just who I am" -- that's fine and all, but I think what Richards experience show is that you _can_ improve on those qualities if you really try

@nextgendynasty 7 сағат бұрын

The connection between communication and leadership was interesting... makes me think about famous leaders and their speaking styles.

@dustyevans2130 15 күн бұрын

Having people skills like these feels more and more important in our modern world of digital interactions that can feel pretty shallow. We're hungry for genuine human connections but unfortunately so many of us don't know how to get them

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

Thanks Dusty, yes that's exactly what drove me to give this talk.

@keithpotter7366 12 күн бұрын

Loved how engaging this discussion was. Kept me hooked till the end

@kyleighmcdowell 5 күн бұрын

It was so interesting hey!

@jacquelinehogan3313 2 ай бұрын

Oh boy when he talks about conversation being like a 12 line super highway I just had this memory of a guy I worked with who would very awkwardly jump into conversations exactly like that. It was only as he was leaving that I found out he had Asperger's and now here I am years later realizing what things are like for people on the spectrum.

@thebespokedoctor 2 ай бұрын

I was fully expecting everyone to fall over with the shoulder push!! 😂

@TheAmendIsNow 15 күн бұрын

this kinda reminded me of that old saying "they may not remember what you said, but they'll remember how you made them feel"

@kyleighmcdowell 5 күн бұрын

Interesting... I don't know that quote! But I immediately thought of a few people who yes, really stuck out because of how they made me feel

@timmymckinley Ай бұрын

I'm wondering how much of what he taught would work in different cultures. Obviously, body language norms can be different, but the main ideas about storytelling and connecting from the heart seem like they'd apply pretty much everywhere.

@richardnewmanspeaks Ай бұрын

Yes body language varies from one culture to the next, but many fundamentals of communication stay the same!

@ZigWagon 19 күн бұрын

I'm curious if the body language techniques work equally well on video calls/virtual settings nowadays? or if there are specific tips for better online presence. Would've been cool if he addressed that too.

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

Thanks - yes they are key to virtual communication too. The pieces I mention around palms up, palms down and posture all apply through a screen. You also need to remember to have the webcam raised to the height of your eyes, have light coming towards you (not behind you) and gesture within the frame. In a longer talk I certainly would have taught these!

@shadyreginald 2 ай бұрын

Yeah I can relate to the group conversation thing and I'm not even Autistic 😅

@RavishingDamsel 16 күн бұрын

I'm glad you mentioned the role of humility too - often get the vibe that self-help/communication "gurus" can come across selfish or arrogant. You seemed the opposite.

@TheAmendIsNow 15 күн бұрын

True he seems super humble

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

Thanks, yes I believe humility is key to all human connection.

@noraandrews8215 3 күн бұрын

I have never thought about how my feet placement could affect my perceived authority. Looking forward to trying that wider stance in my next meeting! Though I wonder does it work on people who already know you?

@markheichorn 14 күн бұрын

The difference between penguin gestures and proper hand movements was hilarious and educational 😂

@kyleighmcdowell 5 күн бұрын

Hahah yup I had a good chuckle at that

@KittyFest 3 күн бұрын

The part about emotional armor really struck me hard. I know I've been guarding myself for a long time now, but I've always seen it as a way of protecting myself, I'ven ever thought it might be holding me back from anything. The thought of opening up is scary though lol I don't know that I'm ready to take the armor off just yet

@skyec8562 Күн бұрын

I get what you mean and yes for sure it is scary but so, so worth it 💖💖

@kyleighmcdowell 5 күн бұрын

Had no idea that hand movements could speed up cognitive processing! Might explain why I talk with my hands so much lol especially when I'm trying to explain something

@rubylcharlotte 2 ай бұрын

Had to laugh around the 6:35 mark, yes it's definitely all the same story

@adagunesesq 2 күн бұрын

I wish he'd talked about reading other people's body language too. That'd be useful for neuro-spicy people too haha 😅😅

@skyec8562 Күн бұрын

LOL I love the term neuro-spicy and I"m sure you'd be able to find some talks about that specifically! 💖

@andrewfarason 2 ай бұрын

Had to laugh at the way he talks about getting into acting, I can imagine it would have been a massive breakthrough in terms of the "how to" side of interacting.

@hamlinr 2 ай бұрын

What how old is this dude? Talkin about 40 years of this and decades of that but he doesn't even look 40...

@reaganmosher7769 Ай бұрын

Damn 17 stages of a journey? I thought it was just, introduction, conflict, development, resolution 😂😂

@maysongrisel 15 күн бұрын

I wonder how much individual personality plays a role too? like, maybe an introverted person still won't love being perceived as ultra-charismatic even if they use the body language hacks. just a thought.

@TheAmendIsNow 15 күн бұрын

Mmmm I get what you mean but I think people still want to feel like other people think they're capable of communicating well

@TheAmendIsNow 15 күн бұрын

Also being introverted doesn't mean you can't be charismatic, just that you don't enjoy being around huge groups of people or out of your comfort zone in general

@richardnewmanspeaks 15 күн бұрын

As an introvert myself and having trained many introverts, this question is important. The best definition I've found for being introvert is that you re-charge by being alone. This is true for me - after giving a talk at a conference I like to spend the evening alone. However, introverts can be highly charismatic. They are excellent students of communication and often have greater command of what they say on stage, due to being more selective about when to speak. You are right to say that we must all stay true to our personalities. These communication tools are designed to enhance who you are, not replace who you are.

@kyleighmcdowell 5 күн бұрын

@@richardnewmanspeaks I think this is the perfect response to that question! My best friend is an introvert but when we go out she's the life of the party. Granted she wants to leave after about three hours lol but while she's there she is super charismatic and magnetic.

@halinatomczyk1714 Күн бұрын

Curious about the ethics of using these techniques. is it manipulative to consciously change how you communicate?

@skyec8562 Күн бұрын

Why would that be manipulative?

@skyec8562 Күн бұрын

Like I guess if you were using your communication to coerce people into doing things they don't want sure that's unethical but if it's just to improve the way you connect with people how is that wrong?

@Usyard Ай бұрын

I wonder if he had to endure a lifetime of people saying, "Hello, _Newman_"

@YaniMulyani-cx5dl 2 ай бұрын

Richat pria yang berpendirian mutlak dan tidak berpengaruh terhadap perkataan orang

@jonathanrogerson2006 2 ай бұрын

I did like it but I've got to be honest that there was very little new information for me. All the points he made I have both read about, seen (on TED talks - Amy Cuddy) and used over the last 25 years. I don't want to belittle Richard - I am sure he is a great communicator - but I did get the impression that he wasn't being totally truthful with what he was saying (on your knees, sobbing...really?). Also, and I know that this is a delicate point, but he seems a very functional autistic person.

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

Your response is disappointing. I shared openly and honestly. There were people in the audience who were with me on the day that I was on my knees sobbing and trying speak through the tears. I was reluctant to share this, but they encouraged me to be vulnerable about what happened. I wonder why you are so quick to be cynical? Perhaps my autistic delivery, simply saying it like it is, meant that you felt it didn't ring true to the way neurotypical people would explain this story? Regarding autism, every person appears different - it's important to avoid being so quick to judge. And yes, I have gathered together lots of information from various sources to bring them together in one place to help people who need this information, as well as sharing our own unique published research that will have provided new information for everyone. I encourage you to find a way to be more open, less cynical and more supportive of people in your life.

@jonathanrogerson2006 2 ай бұрын

@@richardnewmanspeaks I am sorry Richard that I have appeared to be quick to judge and I am sorry that you feel I have questioned your honesty - and I suppose therefore your credibility. I honestly didn't mean to offend. I totally understand that there is a wide spectrum of autism (I work with some autistic people in the field of communication), I just felt your mentioning of it was a little throw-away. I am really sorry if this offended you. I get your newsletter in my inbox and I was really looking forward to your presentation so maybe my expectations were too high. Again, I am sorry. I have to be honest though that I don't appreciate your last last sentence...telling me that I have to be more open and less cynical and more supportive of people in my life!! I have 30 years of professional experience being supportive and a whole life experience of altruism with people I care for.

@jonathanrogerson2006 2 ай бұрын

@@richardnewmanspeaks I do agree though that after reading my first comment I did sound a little catty! Ignore me and keep speading your great message - everyone can give powerful, persuasive and passionate public presentations!!

@richardnewmanspeaks 2 ай бұрын

@@jonathanrogerson2006 Thanks Jonathan, I really appreciate your response and your reflections on this! Thanks also for sharing about your commitment to altruism. That's great to hear. Wishing you all the best.