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[lyrics]
[synthesizer intro]
[spoken] Oh lord, I know thy bidding.
I'm proud to pledge my heart into your guidance.
I don't know if I'll have the strength to do what you need me to do.
But I'll try.
Until then, I'll get a slice of pizza at Sbarro's,
Sip an Orange Julius,
And maybe catch Three Men And A Baby down at the Megaplex.
You rule, Big Kahuna!
[verse 1] The public restrooms are out of service
'Cause they're on fire.
There'll be no sale at Spencer's Gifts.
You guessed it; fire.
The whole damn mall is damned to hell,
I hope you understand
I'm just a pawn of my dark lord,
The hand moved by his hand!
[chorus] I'm sorry for the temporary inconvenience,
I'm burning the mall down for Satan.
I know you were hunting for bargains today,
But now you'll do all your shopping in Hell!
[verse 2] I can see the people screaming there in Macy's,
'Cause it's on fire.
The Kay-Bee toys is full of melting Barbie dolls
and toasted teddies.
I cannot wait for immolation.
As pretzel carts explode around me.
A ritual of pure devotion,
For the lord of sin who found me!
[chorus] I'm sorry for the temporary inconvenience,
I'm burning the mall down for Satan.
It's buy one get one free at J C Penney
But it's only a sale on death
[bridge] I just threw a Molotov cocktail into a baby carriage.
Man, that's pretty fucked up.
I really hope I'm not just batshit insane,
Because that would suck.
[chorus] I'm sorry for the temporary inconvenience,
I'm burning the mall down for Satan.
I know you're all screams as your souls go through the furnace,
But you'll thank me when you see the food court they've got!
[synthesizer outro]
[spoken] Ouch, that's hot!
Goddammit!
Hey, look, they're adding a Cinnabon next week!
Whoops...