But watching people dunk on Acolyte is the only thing that brings me joy in life.

The power of Rags The power of Fringy The power of Mauleeeerrrrr!!!

The power of wasting moneeeeeeeyyy.

"The wookie will end up being the best character on the show" Famous Last Words

It's a murder mystery! The murder victim was Starwars, and the mystery is how this got made.

20:54 To quote Mulan, “You missed! How could you miss?! [She] was three feet in front of you!”

Imagine all the talent that want desperately to write for this series, not because it’s a big franchise but because it’s their passion and childhood. Instead we got people who slaughter the golden goose for a quick promotion in their careers, with sights on “actually important” media. I long for the day when a new franchise topples the Disney empires. I will cheer on that day.

16:47 "How are you so fat if you're a Jedi?" reminds me of the DBZA line from Freeza to Super Kami Guru, "I was lead to believe your species survives on water. How is he so fat!?"

So many pieces of media, including the prequels, has made their own takes on “Jedi bad.” This series is too incompetent to say something as simple as “Jedi bad,” and can only say “Jedi dumb” and “Jedi corrupt.”

Watching the Dunning - Kruger effect completely wipe Disney's cultural relevance was not on my 2020's bingo card.

How can people say that these are "not the sith" when this chick LITERALLY knows the Sith code from her master!

I have a theory: The reason the exposition is so bad in both this show and Ahsoka is because whoever the test audience was said they "don't understand" or that it was "confusing". But instead of having the testers elaborate, they just make characters explain things more.

Watching Disney burn instead of flourish, it’s just effing sad now. Not even dipping back into the greatness of Andor, we just HAVE to get more brain dead rotting garbage to just burn and dance around.

Episode 1: “I have come for revenge!” Episode 4: “naw fuck that. It’s too hard!”

Whoever defends this show. What makes a good show or movie to you cause I’m dumbfounded

Thank you for including Rags’, “I see skulls, everywhere.” 🤣 Can’t hear that too many times.

Forbes' new article about Disney not having equal pay on their own show is worth a read. Not only did they employ more men, but they also received 19.4% more per-hour on average😂

It's like watching an extended eulogy at a closed casket funeral

“But Black Dynamite, I shill Disney to the community!”

Can't wait for Admiral Holdo to show up in the next episode saying something like "Using lightspeed to ram a star destroyer is completely implausible".

Still don't get why the fire couldn't occur inside the ship.

I feel like the trailer for Knights of the Eternal Throne did sibling drama better than the acolyte... and the characters don't speak in the trailer.

I had a thought about the little, deadly daggers Phanny Mae uses; why did Trinity's lightsaber cut them in half? In Knights of the Old Republic, there are mass produced swords that can block lightsabers. Why not make her daggers the same way?

To quote a cleverer commenter, “The power of one… too… many… women…” I expected that scene to be trash when I heard about it, but it was even more underwhelming that I expected!

The Power of D The Power of E The Power of IIIIIIIIIIIIII

Mae “attack me, with all your strength” Mauler “oh my god you’re being cringe, go away” If only that’s what Trinity had said, I may have enjoyed this scene

Watching this is dangerous. The amount of concussions from facepalming must be insane.

We just need Clarence Bodicker (Kurtwood Smith) to come in and say “Witches leave!’

But guys Suggs and Gramuglia said Smilo Ren was scary and Dooku floated in the Genndy cartoon so it’s ok

I figured it out. The witches are Waco and the Jedi are the ATF.

ThErE aRe mOrE oF uS...laughing at this cringe Disney 😂

I'm legitimately starting to believe this show was written entirely by AI. I don't know how to reconcile the complete lack of any self-awareness of this bizarre script writing in any other way.

I just can't comprehend how there are people who like this show

25:30 Spikey headed witch bint - "There are no children here" *literally not 1 min later* Some other rando witch - "They want to take our children!" ...sigh

The Pedialyte.

14:11 Funny how the floating sorta-Jedi was protected by some forcefield to save himself (because he wanted to live), yet he commits suicide by poison the first chance he gets. 💀☠

dave filoni sits down to pee

In episode 4 of the (Ej)acolyte, Leslye Headland's mega blockbuster hit show, she and Amandla Stenberg set out to show the world if you gave a million monkeys a million years with a million typewriters, you’d only need one to bust this sh%t out in fifteen minutes, including smoke breaks. It starts off batsh%t crazy right out of the gate with Amandla Stenberg releasing a clip from her latest therapy session, which is mandated by court order, to counter her lose grip on reality which she took in the streets of New York City because her agent told her that this is so relateble and completely normal. While she is rambling nonsense about always being the victim, the decisive part of the surrounding people trying to reason with her, after being caught offguard by her sheer amount of stupidity, is cut out. While her reality collapses all around her, she tries to play it off by jumping on trends from like 3 years ago like ASMR and close black/white shots to her face to make her look like she is in touch with her fellow people again. But unfortunately for her the Danish aren't buying it. In between she shoves in some sick dancing performances to show off that she finally achieved her black belt in Wacky-Inflatable-Tube-Woman and flails her whole body around like it's a fight scene where they CGI in her opponent later. Now that the breakdown of reality has destroyed the concept of causality, the audience is adjusted to the level of sheer incompetence on display and can watch the actual show without being too suprised when everything turns out to be god damn stupid. Then things start to fall apart again when Amandla tries to act like she was an actual human being. But with no time or ability to think, Amandla starts acting like Steven Seagel instead as the result watching too many of his movies as a child and because she hates her father. By embracing the way of Sensei Seagal, she manages to dig deep into her creativity and strucks gold when the potential 2025 Golden Rasberry nominee and human equivalent of a participation trophy puts on a legendary performance, that blew all of her two fans away, by portraiting both force-sisters in the show the exact same way. Amandla Stenberg really has emotions on another level. She can seemlessly go from angry to disgusting, hungy, confused, bored, lonely, jealous, insecure, stupid and washed up without ever changing her facial expressions. This dedication goes so far that the two characters even share their haircut because apparentely they go to the same hairstylist who turns out to be a huge fan of the Chapelle's Show and was deeply inspired by Dave's impersonation of Rick James while cutting their hair. Now the only questions worth answering in this show are when is one of them gonna say "I'm Rick James, b%tch!" and who the f%ck is gonna be Charlie Murphy in that scenario. My money so far is on Smilo Ren/Darth Teeth aka Bucket-Head, Squid Game guy aka Phyuck Yiu or dumb shirtless guy aka Team America's Matt Damon. Now Leslye Headland, who has the natural charisma of Leatherface and is nearly as attractive is him, dictates some ridiculous action scenes that gonna turn out to be completely pointless, poorly correographed and CGIed to the limit of human consumtion, which can only be described as the sceneastic equivalent of Leslye Headland and the rest of the production crew playing russian roulette with a fully loaded six-shooter; so basicly your average fight scene in a Steven Seagal movie. But those scenes are nessesary to justify the totally reasonable 180. Mio$ price tag for the show and to prevent the IRS from digging too deep into the spending so that this money laundering sceme can continue peacefully; also just like your typical Seagal movie. But as we all know, the only way to justify this amount of money spent on this show in order to save Star Wars and later maybe the MCU would be to introduce, I don't know, Jean Claude Van motherf%cking Damme to this universe. Van Damme is so damn likeble and versityle, that we'd get to see the flexibility of Spider-Damme, the durability of Aqua-Damme and the determination of CapDamme America in one awesome package. In order not to undersell Van Damme's pure awesomeness, we are enlightened to witness the most effective weapon of ass destruction, mankind has ever heard of; his f%cking kicking leg! It's commonly known that his spin kicks are not just awesome to watch but are also capable of shattering our understanding of time as a linear concept and reality itself which means that he could spin kick Lucasfilm back in time before they were bought by Disney, and spin kick Kathleen Kennedy out of a job and out of exsistence right before heading out to celebrate in a certain bar in Thailand for several hours. This act of selflessness and benevolence would not just restore Star Wars, it would also bring world peace, JCVD's gonna win Oscars, Grammys, Golden Globes, the 1st prize of the science fair of the 3rd street school in Carson, Colorado, Pulitzers, the Nobel prize in every category, statues would be build after his appearance, streets would be named after him and, most importantly, Disney and Steven Seagal would be completely pissed off about it. But this is a Disney Star Wars show and giving the audience what they want is against Disney's backwards morality. This last joke falls flat on my end; Disney Star Wars shows just like Seagal movies don't have audiences.

Good job Bob Iger, i love the focus on quality you promised

EFAP TV (and the older watchthroughs from the Minis format) is honestly my favorite part of EFAP. The Kenobi Minis are absolutely hilarious, and it's great to imagine the fellas sitting on a couch together yelling and laughing at the screen while some dumb fucking shit happens.

The bugdet WASNT 200 Mil. Only 180 Mil... basically a shoe string budget. If they had that extra 20 mil I bet itd of been perfect. lol.

6:24 "Okay darling, you wait here, we're going to find Master Luke to solve it for you. You won't be seeing fire very soon 😊"

Hi Wolf!

20:54 And now we know how the Stormtroopers got their bad aim.

"Well, you know, if you had some dudes around, you wouldn't have to worry about extinction." Dead on, a Dr. Squatch ad immediately popped up and said, "SHUT UP!" It seems even KZfaq is getting in on this discussion. 😆

I’m just so tired and frustrated with everything Disney has done with Star Wars (excluding Andor). Every show and idea they’ve published has been pure dogshit with barely anything, if anything at all, able to redeem it. Mandalorian : marketed as a space western about a bounty hunter traveling throughout the galaxy for bounties, a badass silent stoic type character. Immediately turned into Nanny Simulator 3000 and never stopped being that, even reversing the decision that was made at the end of season 2 to focus solely on Djinn. TBB : marketed as a group of spec ops commandos escaping and living under the fall of the Republic and rise of the Empire, implying they’d be doing resistance activities and sabotage ops to hit back at the Empire that killed their brothers. Immediately turned into Nanny Simulator 3001, with no reason at all and even ignoring an out they wrote for themselves because Ohmeegha. BOBF : the equivalent of jangling keys in front of a toddler for nostalgia points, should’ve been about the galaxy’s best bounty hunter going back out into a galaxy he knows nothing about at this point, but instead it’s turned into Make-A-Mafia on Tatooine with out of place speeders. Kenobi : as a premise, and I said it as soon as they announced the show, it doesn’t work. You can’t have Obi Wan doing ***anything important*** during this time period because Darth Vader absolutely would’ve noticed. But they immediately fuck up in every way, shape, and form and turn it into a wacky adventure where Obi Wan and Vader ***fight*** with Obi Wan escaping, which should mean Vader hunts him down like a dog and finds Luke on Tatooine, but nah, the writers were too lazy to think of anything as an out. Ahsoka : had the potential to be good, or at least decent, but does so much so wrong that it’s laughable, even going so far as to ignore what was previously established in TCW, Rebels, and even Mandalorian as far as Ahsoka’s character arcs and development goes. Shlurpolyte : irredeemable garbage. Nothing good or even remotely sensical has come out of this show, and my bet is nothing ever will. It ignores pretty much every rule that had already been established about everything, and does so in a way to seemingly purposefully piss off Star Wars fans

Did that bartender REALLY need to ID her in person? Like, did he travel across several galaxies to be on that ship to point at her and say "Yeah, that one". Couldn't they have just got a blood sample or something that would false positive ID her?

It's nice to hear a stream where they edit out Rags tangents.

Efap and Phriends, EFAP!

EFAP and the others coverage on all this and the travesty it has become has been the only thing keeping me going. I almost don't want it to stop

I have a coworker who watches hours of popular shows on streaming services and speaks in the same insufferable expository way as most characters in modern media. Can't believe I never made the connection before, but I guess terrible dialogue can really damage the image some people have of how real humans actually talk......

For a while I thought, 'wow these writers are dumb'. 31:46 this is when I realized this is a chat GPT script. Instructions on what you should be with no explanation of how. GPT does that all the time even when you ask for a narrative output. Then there's the burning stone and space, these are LLM mistakes. That's fine for a first draft to expedite the creative process, but they just shipped it as a final draft. Now I see my error. Now I think, 'wow these are some dumb frauds'.

I really enjoyed the commentary 🍿😂

The Acolyte has been awesome. It got me into EFAP! All it took was an ungodly abomination of a fan fiction!

Man, if only the Sith knew that all Jedi facilities are weak to small paper fires. Rule of two? Just tell all your apprentices to carry a pamphlet and a lighter.

Smilo Ren's comment about not using weapons against Jedi is even more confusing now that Episode 5 is out... Laser seems pretty useful against them lol.

RK went from informed but sadly cringe, to S tier in a few short years. More Mauler & RK collabs? Hell yeah!

this show should be on corncob TV, have it right after coffin flop

This is magic. Only the supernatural could explain how this was created, the totality of it.

Can you clip the John Campea Ki-Adi-Mundi/canon hierarchy rant from #290?

I just love when Theo loses his mind over shit like that :D it´s the only thing that bring me joy in life

It's wild that none of the jedi in this show do a single thing we've known Jedi to be capable of. They all do the exact opposite. Like, EVERY jedi in this show acts like how Sith act when they're pretending to be Jedi.

Like it crazy that each star wars show now just work to one up the others of who can destroy the lore/canon more, just remember the defenders were hyping this up as an "mystery" show yet we find out everything

Why do none of the padawans have the padawan haircut? No ponytail/braid combos; just focus on how much they're ignoring canon by keeping their modern hair. Even the lesbian padawan has the lesbian mullet with a braid...

In order to achieve that level of destruction that quickly, you'd have to be using your force powers to roll a katamari or growing ball of fire around the entire coven/compound. Running over everything. Considering they have no burn marks on their bodies but were all force users, It meant you'd hit them like a halo reach killsphere or punish attempts to block this by smacking the jedi into a wall with it. Tekken flashback? LOL. "Pushblock? You couldve teched that mister squidwarrrd" "mistyerrrrr squidwarrrd! you had BURST!" Ok so lets say you werent just beating jedi with a big fireball. You took their oxygen away with it and then they just got tired and went to sleep for a long time.

"...it is so lame.." - Mauler 2024

MauLer: "No... *do* not wrong."

"this SUCKS"- Rags 2024

the power of many

The chant remains the most neck-tensing cringe spasm I've ever had involuntarily. I almost suffocated.

37:36

Somebody needs to tell that Hydrasaur Jedi that Jango shot repeatedly at point blank that weapons don’t work on Jedi. As well as all the other Jedi who… also got shot repeated point blank by clones… like Aalya secura… and ke-Adi Mundi… man a lot of Jedi surprisingly get killed by weapons.

Kelnacca died because Osha refused to capture her sister back in episode 2. Going free wasn't even something that Mae wanted. Not long after (but who can actually discern the passage of time in this show) Mae badly wanted to be arrested by the Jedi so she could reunite with Osha. But nah. For no reason Osha let her go despite insisting on helping the Jedi to capture her sister before the stun-gun scene and even after incident. If anyone else dies in Ep 5 against SmiloRen or whoever will also be Osha's fault.

We got Senjougahara watching Acolyte before GTA VI

The woman said it herself, it's a therapy session for her. But we don't want your $180 million therapy session we want entertainment.

Smylo Poppins can fly now!

Guys saying that someone didn’t learn anything in college or know how to do their job is like totally a micro aggression.😂

You know a show is bad when the shot composition literally breaks the cannon of the story being told. These people are shockingly amateur and have no idea how to creatively tell a story. They can definitely say words, and they can definitely do special effects, but that’s all they can do.

Yes!

Short man.... Bad!

I forget the guy’s name, but I want him to tell me everything that Dave changed since creating the clone wars. I’m not aware of the changes myself, but clearly he knows more than me about these other topics, likely drawn from media outside of the movies. Honestly I just want an excuse to despise Filoni even more, but also learn about all the problems with the clone wars that I’ve yet to find out about, since it’s one of my favorite shows ever

So these TWINS and DYADS who were apart 16 years both think the other is dead in a series where sensing others (especially family) and the future are a common occurrence with force users… These “writers” are brain dead.

This show honestly makes me wonder how the hell Andor was allowed to be good. They seem hell bent on specifically annihilating every bit of the canon until there's nothing left. And for what? why are they doing this? Do they have some evil agenda? Are the laundering money? Are they just stupid? It's so hard to tell. This writing is literally everything you should not do. They explicitly show things in earlier scenes only to ignore them in later scenes again almost on purpose. It's so baffling that at this point it's making me dislike just the franchise in general. I don't want to say I'm a fan because I'll have to also say that I fucking despise essentially everything new they've made. So really I was a fan of Star Wars. Disney has raped this franchise so hard that I can't even bring myself to look at any of the new hellish nonsense they produce.

5:16

The power of wokeness. The power of destroying something everyone loves. The power of we need to have money.

Holy fuck… I just watched episode 5… I was SCREAMING at the screen! This show is beyond shit.

This shows is so poorly written that you see the big twists coming. The book fire is a red herring and old man RK Outpost snapped and killed thd witches. He also caused the fire and the jedi covered it up to protect themselves blaming Mae. Asian ezra miller is a red herring, and the mother is the master. Mae is going to die a heroic death saving Osha. Osha will then seek out the dark side. In the finale episode (or if there were more seasons), Osha will become Darth Tenebrous and find a young Sideous or is Darth Tenebrous' master finding a young Tenebrous. I'm not sure which is closer to the Sw cannon timeline. I'm not sure if they know or care at this point.

This makes me wanna watch Arcane

Hey Wolf, I got a bit confused. I thought this was a supercut of them on the podcast talking about Acoshite, but it's them reacting to it instead. I dunno if other people had this issue but I figured I should let you know

Let’s be real. An obese Jedi in the most decadent period for the Jedi order makes sense. This is the same period when the Jedi order was taking McDonald’s sponsorships and shit.

Great supercut, but you didn't include the kitchen sink from that stupid intro? lol

Watching the show has me kinda wondering what's gonna happen to show the "jedi bad" part, we know they'll show the Coven massacre but from Mae (Bad twin?)'s perspective and the 4 jedi will be uber evil, but from what's shown of the 4 it seems like that characterisation wouldn't work with the 4. Trinity is shown essentially giving her life to save the bar tender, if she was just an evil douche she absolutely could've just let him die, kill Mae and then say she couldn't save him and the kid could vouch for Trinty trying to save them and no one could counter that she's not good. The oldest young guy quite literally kills himself over how guilty he is with basically a Low Tier God speech No clue how Wookie feels And Sol is (at least to me) clearly fronting about (from his facial expression) how he accepted that it wasn't his fault and still feels guilty about it. If they were just evil then they wouldn't give a damn about it and would behave differently in other scenes.

The Acolyte me be bad, but we can all at least admit it is better the the entire Buffy the Vampire Slayer show 😎

That's why I'll always say that Episodes 1 through 6 is the complete saga as it has a definitive beginning beginning, middle and end and the "true" Skywalker saga. Not to mention they were all made under George Lucas' supervision. Because let's be honest, how do episodes 7 through 9 contribute to the Skywalker saga in a meaningful way? Because I can honestly say that bringing back Palpatine effectively retconning the "bringing balance to the force" story of the previous 6 films and ripping away Anakin's achievement, retconning force powers to service the plot of these films when it could've been used in previous films sparing our heroes from making wrong decisions and killing every single Skywalker and Solo in the galaxy so that a Palpatine can be left standing wearing the skin suit name as a Skywalker is not meaningful in the slightest. Not to mention that Disney ONLY inherited Star Wars as a brand while leaving intellectual part of the intellectual property (or IP) of George Lucas to him. These were absolutely not made with George Lucas in mind, given how it's come out that Bob Igar and Kathleen Kennedy lied to him about respecting the characters and disregarding his story template in favor of unoriginal stories that heavily plagiarized the original trilogy. I'm sorry, Disney can keep lying all they want by saying that these new films are part of the Skywalker saga. But the Skywalker saga ended with episode 6. And yeah, George Lucas wanted to make a sequel trilogy. But just as Tolkien abandoned his idea of doing a Lord of the Rings sequel, so too did Lucas also abandoned his idea for the sequel trilogy as he felt that his saga was complete as it was the story of the fall and redemption of Anakin Skywalker. Ergo, THAT'S the Skywalker saga in a nut shell. It's not perfect. But it told a completed story from episodes 1 to 6. I'll always be a fan of Star Wars, but only the Lucas era, not this bastardization era Disney have been shoving down our throats since 2015. Given all of this information, the intentions of the writers and George Lucas' (the creator) overall thoughts on Disney's direction for this franchise, I'm ultimately left with this unfortunate conclusion: Everything we've been watching is not Star Wars. It's Star Wars in name only. But everything that's been done with this franchise has not been to uphold the philosophy and lore of what this universe was built on but rather, made by entitled narcissistic bigots who can do nothing more than twist this franchise into their own wants and desires. Star Wars died as soon as the pen hit the paper when Lucas sold Star Wars to those "white slavers" who could do nothing but destroy that man's creative vision. Tolkien was right: Evil cannot create, only corrupt.

leslye headland looks like she slides down on it so slowly and asks you how YOU want it.

Only Disney can make lesbian space witches sound like a bad idea

_simmer it!_

@16:45

I think it's the best mystery ever, a mystery how such a badly written and acted show even got made

😂😂😂😂😂